SUPPORTING

FATHERS ON

PARENTING ORDERS

Parenting Orders

Orders are made for the Parents of young people who : -

“ - - - are at risk of, or known to be engaged in offending, or who are failing to attend school.”

•Responsibility for these orders lies with YOT’s and EWO’s.

•Failure to comply can result in criminal “breach” proceedings, return to court, and potentially a fine or a further order being made

•Programmes vary enormously, “off the shelf courses need adapting for the special challenges presented by parents of young offenders.”(PRB)

•Programmes tailored specifically for fathers do not exist.

OBJECTIVES

•Dealing with conflict and challenging behaviour by young people.

•Constructive supervision and monitoring of young people.

•Setting and maintaining boundaries and ground rules for young people.

•Communication and negotiation skills.

•Reducing stress and family conflict.

Some Facts and Figures

•The majority of attendees are female (81%).

•However, the majority of young people in respect of whom the orders are made, are male (77%).

•Almost half the attendees are single parents (49%).

•Non-resident parents (generally fathers) are not involved in the vast majority of cases.

FATHERS ON

ORDERS

•Fathers make up only a small percentage of parents complying with orders.

•In a typical group of around 12 parents attending a programme – only 1 is likely to be a man. (Pers obs.)

•In four years, I had only one group with more than one father in it!

•However, this rate is high when compared to other more traditional parenting programmes.

FATHERS ON ORDERS

•Low referral numbers, combined with the limited time frame allowed for complying with an order, mean that the possibility for all male groups is almost impossible.

•The result is that most fathers will end up attending a mixed group.

ALTERNATIVES TO GROUPWORK

•One to One programmes.

•The programme content is generally the same as the groupwork programmes, however much harder for the facilitator to deliver.

•If offered a choice, most fathers will choose this route.

•Some of the reasons for this are logistical.

•However, groupwork is clearly more powerful in achieving the desired outcomes.

SOME OF THE REASONS

•Work commitments.

•“I don’t want everyone knowing my business”

•“ - - - - groups aren’t for me”

•“I don’t want to be preached at by a load of women”

•“ --- it’ll be all touchy feely”

•Any number of increasingly bizarre excuses!

•All of which simply demonstrate an extreme reluctance to engage.

PROGRAMMES

•TSA (also Escape).

•Parenting Wisely.

•Teenagers in Trouble.

•Time out for Teenagers.

•Living with Teenagers.

•Adaptations of other existing programmes.

LIVING WITH TEENAGERS

Components of the programme are: -

•Raising self-esteem – (very hard one to one) even harder for a single male in the group!

•Understanding child development during the teenage years.

•Behaviour management. Rules / consequences. praise / reward.

•Series of exercises on communication and negotiation.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR FATHERS!

•Gender roles – “I’ll fetch the wife” syndrome.

•Being forced to attend.

•Stigmatisation.

•Lack of early years support.

•“he’ll be left home soon anyway”

•Complying – but just going through the motions.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR FATHERS

•Lack of opportunities to bring about change.

•Hard for any parent.

•Being asked to challenge what are often quite fundamental beliefs.

•Men more likely to “pick up the rope”.

•As the role model – being asked not just to change the way you parent, but to change the way you live!

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY FOR SERVICE PROVIDERS.

•Lack of male staff.

•Issues around training. Understanding the fathers role.

•Working with parents of teenagers is already challenging, working with fathers of teenagers, a double whammy!

•Venues. (JRF research)

•Can be seen as a punitive part of the criminal justice system.

THE WAY FORWARD.

Training on three levels: -

1. Working with fathers

2. Groupwork skills.

3. Delivering programmes designed for parents of teenagers.

• Early intervention. Persuading fathers to be more involved earlier on – don’t wait until things go wrong in the teenage years.

THE WAY FORWARD

•Promote both the importance and benefits of engaging fathers at both a local and policy level.

•NSF

•Policies should be naturally inclusive, fathers are still sometimes seen as some kind of bolt-on.

•Parenting Action Plan for Wales:

“ - - -(the plan) recognises that the needs of mothers and fathers, of male and female carers, are not always the same”