Back in 1992, in the small Sussex seaside town ofLittlehampton, a tiny monthly worship eventbegan. It was called Cutting Edge, and just 35

people showed up for the first meeting. Four yearslater, about 1400 young people were gathering everymonth, and at the end of every summer term about10,000 would come together on the seafront to wor-ship and proclaim the gospel, and to declare to thosein the town that God and His church were not deadbut very much alive. Out of that event grew the bandDelirious which then spent the next 17 years until2009 travelling around the world, helping to facilitateand bring together large gatherings of the church. Theband may now have ended, but for the former key-board player and manager of the band Tim Jupp, thevision of seeing the church come together in celebra-tion on a grand scale lives on.

‘The BigChurchDayOut has a multi layered vision‘,says Tim. ‘For me personally, one of the things I love tosee is an environment where many of the newChristians in our own local church who have nochurch background whatsoever, can come togetherand often for the first time realise that the church is amassive and exciting movement of people, whichstretches so much further than any one of our smallerlocal congregations.' Tim says that ‘I think it’s importantwe understand that we're not alone when it comes towanting to influence our nation and seeing Jesus madeknown.‘

Tim goes on to say how he loves the paradox at bigevents, which is that they are both a celebration ofUnity, and also a demonstration of our diversity in thechurch.' Having travelled all over the world, you get tosee that Gods' church comes in so many differentshapes and sizes and shades and colours, and our dif-ferent expressions of church all go together to make upthe bigger picture of this great idea that God had for uscalled church. So the BigChurchDayOut is a chance tobring together some of these different expressions, andto show to a world outside that contrary to what weoften read in the popular press about the church beingin decline, it is very much alive and present in the UKtoday. '

The BigChurchDayOut has grown to 20,000 peopleattending in just 3 years, something quite extraordinaryfor the UK. One of the main things Tim says is that 'The vision for the BigChurchDayOut is that the eventis as inclusive to as many as possible, both in age,churchmanship and ethnic origin. With a focus onworship, prayer and hanging out together, theBigChurchDayOut certainly has something for every-one. One its main attractions is the beautiful WistonEstate in West Sussex which provides the backdrop tothis all age celebration of the church.' There is even avenue called the Tea Tent that provides a programmethat features choirs and orchestras and even one of thetop UK Salvation Army brass bands. The other 2 stagesat the event are the UCB stage which is aimed at moreof the teenage crowd, and the main arena, which hasa focus on worship and attracts many of the top namesin the Christian music scene from around the worldtoday. Tim says however that 'the BigChurchDayOut isnot a music festival, but I see it more as one hugechurch family church meeting. For me it's not aboutwho is the biggest or best band at the event, and that'swhy whatever happens during the day, we always endup at the end of the night with everyone together in themain arena in a time of corporate worship and celebra-tion.’

Tim adds that 'we get many people coming from manyof the UK's black majority churches. Some churchesvisit for just one of the two days, but many groups alsodecide to camp and stay for the whole weekend. Partof the events' vision is to keep costs down as low aspossible so that people can have the opportunity tobring friends with them from outside the church, andthis is made possible by the generous donations ofindividuals who are passionate about this vision.'

So if you're wondering about a church day or week-end away, the BigChurchDayOut could be exactlywhat you're looking for. It will provide a brilliant timefor everyone without the church leader having to panicabout what they need to organise to make this happen!

The BigChurchDayOut June 2nd and 3rd 2012. Formore info go to www.bigchurchdayout.com

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pretend that he was not running for the bus at all. If you are primarily a controlling male and yourself-worth is linked to your level of influence thenyour worst fear will be the fear of losing control.For these men, security equals control and theloss of control leads to all sorts of insecurity. Suchmen may eventually drive good people out oftheir lives and stifle good relationships by leavingno room for others to think for themselves orexpress their own opinions. Differences ofopinion can be misconstrued by them to be achallenge to their authority and a rejection oftheir wise leadership. They can be quite childish

and vindictive in the way they seek to vanquishcritics and silence the opposition.

Whenever humans sense danger we instinctivelyreact to protect ourselves by way of the three F’s.Fight, Flight and Freeze which constitute ourbasic defence mechanism. Nothing can be moredifficult to deal with than a defensive male. Menget defensive when they are afraid of rejection,failure or the loss of control. Male defensivenessexpresses itself in different ways depending onyour personality. The dependent is more likely toFREEZE for fear of putting another foot wrong andlosing even more approval or acceptance. Thecompetitor is more prone to FLIGHT for fear ofbeing exposed as incompetent or otherwise notgood enough. The controller is more prone toFIGHT for fear of losing control or being overpowered.

Each of these defensive behaviours kick ininstinctively when a threat arises to where mostmen do not even realise that they are speakingand behaving defensively. The threat itself maybe real or imagined, potential or past. Once themind senses it, the defences kick off.

To break the cycle of defensive behaviours, youcan start by practising unconditional self-acceptance. Instead of linking your sense of worthand significance to relationships, achievements orinfluence, you should start linking it to your ownintrinsic value as a human being. If you can loveyourself and celebrate yourself for simply beingthen you can start viewing rejection, failure or theloss of control for what they really are i.e. normallife experiences. They are nothing more thannature’s feedback and valuable life lessons.

Wayne MalcolmTop Motivational Teacher & Leading Life Coach

www.icancoach.co.uk

motions are the basis of the humanexperience and the cause of all human

motion (action). They are the cause of love &marriage, separation and divorce, acts ofbenevolence and acts of violence, both care andcrime are driven by them, war and peace are allbehavioural responses to powerful emotions. Aman’s emotions are linked to his personalitywhich develops as a result of the hereditary andsocial conditioning that shapes his indirect anddirect learning experiences.

According to one branch of psychology there arethree basic personality types within each of us butonly one of them plays the dominant role.

The three personality types are first theDEPENDENT. This is the person whose sense ofsignificance and value is linked to relationships,involvement, belonging and participation.Second is the COMPETITIVE. This person’s senseof significance and worth comes from theirachievements in life. What they become, achieveor possess is the source of their self-esteem and insome bizarre way a statement of their worth tosociety. Finally there is the CONTROLLER whoseself-estimate is linked to their level of influence,leadership and control.

If you are a dependant man and your self-conceptis linked to other people’s acceptance of you, thenundoubtedly your biggest fear will be the fear ofrejection. Men who fear rejection will often go togreat lengths to please, impress or otherwise winthe affection of others. They suffer from thedisease to please and will often hurt themselves inorder to secure the approval of someone else.When the pain of rejection sets in, these men willoften cling to the nearest available person so asnot to be alone. This is why some men fall out ofone relationship and instantly into another whichis doomed to fail because it was only a copingmechanism in the first place. If you are primarily

a competitive male and your self-esteem iswrapped up in your achievements andpossessions (symbols of your achievements), thenyour worst fear will be the fear of failure. Menwho fear failure will often go to extreme lengths toappear successful and save face even when theyare losing badly. Their basic coping mechanism inthis respect involves denials, pretence, avoidanceand hiding strategies in order to keep face andappear invincible. If a competitive male loses arace, he will probably pretend that he wasn’treally trying to win in the first place. If he runs forthe bus and misses it, he will keep on running and

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pretend that he was not running for the bus at all. If you are primarily a controlling male and yourself-worth is linked to your level of influence thenyour worst fear will be the fear of losing control.For these men, security equals control and theloss of control leads to all sorts of insecurity. Suchmen may eventually drive good people out oftheir lives and stifle good relationships by leavingno room for others to think for themselves orexpress their own opinions. Differences ofopinion can be misconstrued by them to be achallenge to their authority and a rejection oftheir wise leadership. They can be quite childish

and vindictive in the way they seek to vanquishcritics and silence the opposition.

Whenever humans sense danger we instinctivelyreact to protect ourselves by way of the three F’s.Fight, Flight and Freeze which constitute ourbasic defence mechanism. Nothing can be moredifficult to deal with than a defensive male. Menget defensive when they are afraid of rejection,failure or the loss of control. Male defensivenessexpresses itself in different ways depending onyour personality. The dependent is more likely toFREEZE for fear of putting another foot wrong andlosing even more approval or acceptance. Thecompetitor is more prone to FLIGHT for fear ofbeing exposed as incompetent or otherwise notgood enough. The controller is more prone toFIGHT for fear of losing control or being overpowered.

Each of these defensive behaviours kick ininstinctively when a threat arises to where mostmen do not even realise that they are speakingand behaving defensively. The threat itself maybe real or imagined, potential or past. Once themind senses it, the defences kick off.

To break the cycle of defensive behaviours, youcan start by practising unconditional self-acceptance. Instead of linking your sense of worthand significance to relationships, achievements orinfluence, you should start linking it to your ownintrinsic value as a human being. If you can loveyourself and celebrate yourself for simply beingthen you can start viewing rejection, failure or theloss of control for what they really are i.e. normallife experiences. They are nothing more thannature’s feedback and valuable life lessons.

Wayne MalcolmTop Motivational Teacher & Leading Life Coach

www.icancoach.co.uk

motions are the basis of the humanexperience and the cause of all human

motion (action). They are the cause of love &marriage, separation and divorce, acts ofbenevolence and acts of violence, both care andcrime are driven by them, war and peace are allbehavioural responses to powerful emotions. Aman’s emotions are linked to his personalitywhich develops as a result of the hereditary andsocial conditioning that shapes his indirect anddirect learning experiences.

According to one branch of psychology there arethree basic personality types within each of us butonly one of them plays the dominant role.

The three personality types are first theDEPENDENT. This is the person whose sense ofsignificance and value is linked to relationships,involvement, belonging and participation.Second is the COMPETITIVE. This person’s senseof significance and worth comes from theirachievements in life. What they become, achieveor possess is the source of their self-esteem and insome bizarre way a statement of their worth tosociety. Finally there is the CONTROLLER whoseself-estimate is linked to their level of influence,leadership and control.

If you are a dependant man and your self-conceptis linked to other people’s acceptance of you, thenundoubtedly your biggest fear will be the fear ofrejection. Men who fear rejection will often go togreat lengths to please, impress or otherwise winthe affection of others. They suffer from thedisease to please and will often hurt themselves inorder to secure the approval of someone else.When the pain of rejection sets in, these men willoften cling to the nearest available person so asnot to be alone. This is why some men fall out ofone relationship and instantly into another whichis doomed to fail because it was only a copingmechanism in the first place. If you are primarily

a competitive male and your self-esteem iswrapped up in your achievements andpossessions (symbols of your achievements), thenyour worst fear will be the fear of failure. Menwho fear failure will often go to extreme lengths toappear successful and save face even when theyare losing badly. Their basic coping mechanism inthis respect involves denials, pretence, avoidanceand hiding strategies in order to keep face andappear invincible. If a competitive male loses arace, he will probably pretend that he wasn’treally trying to win in the first place. If he runs forthe bus and misses it, he will keep on running and

E

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