Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! - KET Education · Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning About Harassment. About the Program. ... after asking him to think about it,

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Student WorkshopI Was Just Kidding!Learning About Harassment

Table of Contents

About the Program

Introduction .................................................................. 1

Learning Objectives ...................................................... 2

Summary of the Program.............................................. 3

Bulletin Board Starters .................................................. 5

Discussion Questions .................................................... 6

Suggested Activities ....................................................... 8

Suggested Reading

Reading for Educators and Parents .............................. 11

Fiction for Grades 3 to 5 .............................................. 12

Non-Fiction for Grades 3 to 5 ...................................... 14

Related Materials from Sunburst ................................. 15

Script

What is Harassment? ................................................... 17

Different Kinds of Harassment .................................... 21

What To Do About Harassment ................................... 24

Let’s Stop Harassment .................................................. 27

Activity Sheets (may be copied for class distribution)

Activity Sheets Table of Contents ................................ 31

Credits ........................................................................ 47

This Program Contains

One Teacher’s Guide ............................................ 15 activities

One video or DVD ................................................17 minutes

Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning About Harassment

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Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning About Harassment 1

IntroductionAccording to the National Association of School Psychologists, about15 to 20 percent of the nation’s schoolchildren, both male and female,overtly or covertly tease, taunt, bully or otherwise pick on otherchildren during the school year. What may be cause for surprise, oneexpert contends, is that such harassing behavior happens twice asoften in the elementary grades as in Grades 6 to 8.

As teachers well know, most healthy kids will roughhouse or teaseor be mean to one another from time to time. But while not everyincident adds up to harassment, unless children are helped to under-stand that habitual teasing, or saying something belittling or cruel, ordeliberately making life difficult for someone will not be tolerated,they may feel they have license to behave in these ways. Beingemotionally, verbally or physically harassed can deal a heavy blowto fragile egos, and telling a target, “I was just kidding,” or “Can’t youtake a joke?” does not in any way take the sting out of the behavior.

Defining harassment as any behavior that makes someone feel bad oruncomfortable and continues even after the harasser has been askedto stop, Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning AboutHarassment is designed to show students that many of the behaviorsthey may engage in—or simply witness as bystanders—are not onlyembarrassing and unwelcome to those being harassed, but can beoffensive and hurtful as well.

Four scenarios illustrate specific behaviors that young students willquickly recognize as typical of their peers. In the first, a boy merci-lessly taunts a girl to get even with her for besting him at chess. In thenext, a girl upsets a boy by bestowing on him an unwanted andenthusiastic kiss, making him thoroughly uncomfortable. The thirdscenario examines an incident of bullying and suggests strategies forhandling bullies. The fourth looks at the role of bystanders, why theyneed to speak up whenever they witness harassing behavior, and thecourage it takes to do so.

Because children have a fundamental right to feel safe at school,two themes overarch the program: to show viewers how teasing,name-calling and bullying affect others, and to promote respect andunderstanding by making clear the need to treat others as they them-selves want to be treated. Discussion questions, suggested activities,reproducible handouts and an annotated suggested reading list areincluded to further extend the program’s scope and usefulness.

2 Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning About Harassment

Learning ObjectivesThis program will help students:

• Learn that harassment is any behavior that makes a personfeel bad and continues even after the person asks the harasserto stop.

• Recognize that teasing, name-calling and bullying are allforms of harassment.

• Understand how such behavior affects others.

• Understand that what a harasser thinks is a joke is no joke tothe victim.

• Learn steps they can take to stop someone fromharassing them.

• Recognize that if they’re part of a group that’s teasing orbullying or calling another person names, they also play arole in the harassment.

• Learn what they can do to stop harassment when they seeanother person being teased, called names, or bullied.


Summary of the ProgramThe program opens with short clips of kids telling stories of beingteased, threatened, or bullied. Then other kids, those who do theteasing and bullying, say they were only fooling around. Theycomplain that people just can’t take a joke. As the teenage host tellsviewers, the one word that covers all these offensive and unwelcomebehaviors is harassment. Kids often tease, threaten, or bully other kids,she explains, and then tell the victims they were only kidding, orjoking, or playing around. If you call someone a name or put themdown and think it’s funny, is that harassment? she asks.

Part 1, “What Is Harassment?”, defines harassment as any behaviorthat makes someone feel bad and continues after the person asks youto stop. Meeting Lisa Marie for the first time, Justin learns her lastname is Muffett. “Little Miss Muffett,” he teases, embarrassing LisaMarie. She asks Justin to stop, but he keeps it up. At school, competingat chess with Lisa Marie and losing game after game to her, Justinunfurls his secret weapon, teasing and upsetting her by calling her“Little Miss Muffett.” Soon all the other kids are doing the same. “Isthat harassment?,” asks the host, and answers in the affirmative. Theprogram pauses here for students to work on “What is Harassment?”activity sheets.

In Part 2, “A Different Kind of Harassment,” Emma keeps hangingaround Greg, embarrassing him and making him uncomfortable. Heasks her to stop, but she doesn’t. When she surprises him by askinghim to her birthday party, he hesitates, then wants to know if anyother boys are coming. Emma replies that they’ll come if he does, andafter asking him to think about it, plants a kiss on his cheek, grossinghim out. As the host explains, when someone kisses or touches youwithout your permission, and continues to do it even though you tellthem to stop, that’s harassment, too. The program pauses here forstudents to work on “A Different Kind of Harassment” activity sheets.

Part 3, “What to Do About Harassment,” examines bullying and whatto do about it. For no reason, Brian begins firing spitballs at Harry onthe bus. When he complains, Brian asks, “Can’t you take a joke?”Harry says he doesn’t think it’s funny, but, as the other kids on thebus laugh, Brian says everyone else does. To stop Brian, Harry first triesavoiding and then ignoring him. But the bullying escalates. Brian putsa paper crown on Harry’s head and dubs him “Princess Harriet.”


So Harry decides to tell Brian how he feels and ask him to stop. Brianagrees not to touch Harry or call him names anymore. But the nextday on the bus, instead of sticking to his agreement, Brian passeshand-drawn pictures of “Princess Harriet.” When Harry complainsagain, Brian says that he kept his word. He didn’t “touch” Harry or“call” him names. Harry realizes that he needs the help of an adult, sohe tells his teacher what’s been going on.

The host then reviews the steps viewers can take if someone is harass-ing them: 1) avoid the person; 2) try to ignore him or her; 3) tell theharasser how you feel and ask him or her to stop, but be sure to pick aplace where you feel safe; and 4) if necessary, ask an adult for help.The program pauses here for students to work on “What to Do AboutHarassment” activity sheets.

In the final scenario, “Let’s Stop Harassment,” viewers learn thatthere’s a third person involved in harassment, the person who standsby, sees what’s happening, but doesn’t do anything about it. Katiefinds herself in such a situation when her friends Marcy and Meganostracize Jennifer because her mother thinks trading cards are a wasteof money. They even refuse to let Jennifer sit at their table in theschool cafeteria, telling her that it’s only for people in their tradingcard club. Katie says nothing when this happens, but feels terrible.Finally, she decides to tell Marcy and Megan that what they are doingis mean, and to make it up to Jennifer.

What Katie did takes courage, the host tells viewers. If you’re part of agroup doing the harassing, she says, you’re a part of the harassment;speaking up will make you feel much better about yourself. And if yousee someone being harassed, she adds, the best thing to do is to tell anadult you trust. If we all do our part, she says, we can stop harassmentfrom happening. At the conclusion of the program, students work on“Let’s Stop Harassment” activity sheets.


Bulletin Board Starters

Invite students to draw “before” and “after” pictures of a person beingteased or put down and then standing up to the harasser in the end. Ifstudents wish, they can draw a panel of comic strips with balloondialogue. Display the pictures and comics on the bulletin board.

Tell students that the phrase “Thumbs Up” refers to caring, respectfulbehaviors, while “Thumbs Down” refers to harassing behaviors. Postsigns with these two phrases on the bulletin board. Ask children forexamples of each kind of behavior and display them under theappropriate heading.

Display a copy of the “Let’s Stop Harassment” activity, “HarassmentResponse Card,” on the bulletin board. Invite students to think upother responses they feel would be appropriate. Have them letter anddraw a box around their ideas and display them on the bulletin boardas reminders.


Discussion QuestionsPart 1: What is Harassment?

• What kinds of behavior are called harassment?

• Has anyone ever teased you and made you feel bad? Does ithelp if the person says he or she is just kidding or playingaround? Why or why not?

• How do you think Lisa Marie felt when Justin teased herabout her name? Why do you think it was embarrassingfor her?

• How does the program define harassment?

• Suppose Justin had stopped when Lisa Marie first asked himto. What difference would it have made to Lisa Marie?

Part 2: Different Kinds of Harassment

• Emma wanted to be friends with Greg. Why did having herhang around embarrass him?

• After Greg asked Emma politely to stop, did she? Was itharassment when she tagged along after him? In what way?

• Why was Greg amazed that Emma would ask him to herbirthday party? Do you think Emma was wrong to kiss him?Why or why not?

• Discuss why kissing or touching someone without theirpermission is harassment.


Part 3: What to Do About Harassment

• When Harry told Brian to stop bullying him, Brian answered,“Can’t you take a joke?” Is bullying ever a joke? Why orwhy not?

• Harry tried ignoring and then avoiding Brian, and finally, onthe bus, told Brian to stop. Why didn’t Brian stop? Why dobullies need an audience for their actions?

• After speaking to Brian in private, Harry got him to stoptouching him and calling him names. How did Briancontinue his bullying? What did Harry do about it?

• What are four steps you can take if someone isharassing you?

Part 4: Let’s Stop Harassment

• Katie felt terrible when she realized how Jennifer felt aboutbeing left out of their group. What does the host mean whenshe says that if you’re part of a group that is harassing some-one, you’re a harasser, too?

• Is it right to stand by when someone is being harassed and donothing? Why or why not? What did Katie finally do?

• Why does it take courage to speak up or tell an adult? Whydoes speaking up make you feel much better about yourself?


Suggested ActivitiesCommunication; Language Arts

Lead a discussion by asking children to think about harassment andwhat it means to them. Ask them to brainstorm a list of relatedbehaviors, but caution them not to name names aloud or finger point(suggest that they speak to you in private if they are having trouble).List the behaviors they come up with on the chalkboard, and discussthe effect each behavior can have and whether saying “I was justkidding,” or “Can’t you take a joke?” changes anything. Lead a discus-sion on how the following statement relates to harassment: “Treatothers as you yourself would like to be treated.”

Language Arts; Art

Ask students to think of different reasons harassment of any kind iswrong. List all ideas on the chalkboard. Give each child a sheet ofpaper. Have each child pick one reason, from the list, copy it onto thetop of the paper, and draw or cut out a picture to illustrate it. Put allthe pages together in a book entitled “Why Harassment is Wrong.”

Creative Expression; Movement

Choose one or two of the scenarios from the program, or use one ofthe harassing situations below. Invite students to role play in theirown words and actions what they could do or say to stop someonefrom harassing them or someone they know without fighting backor using violence.

Role plays are open-ended. The point is not to arrive at a happy end-ing or a pat solution, but to participate in the process itself. Here aresome guidelines to help you facilitate successful role-playing sessions:

• Create a positive climate by stressing that judging andcriticism are not allowed.

• Set up the role play by asking children to think about thegeneral theme.

• Use few props.


• Keep role plays brief. Two or three minutes is probablylong enough.

• Choose participants who consent. If a student is reluctant toperform in front of a large group, try creating a minor role forhim or her.

• Keep comments constructive. Ask students to focus onthe characters and problem and ask, “What else could shehave done or said?” rather than “What was wrong withher solution?”

• Guard against inappropriate self-disclosure. Stop therole-playing if students reveal things they might later regret.

• Follow up by having students discuss each role play as actorsfinish. You can repeat the role play by switching actors orusing new ones.

1) A boy in your class keeps calling you “four-eyes”because you have to wear glasses. What can you do?What can you say?

2) As you ride the bus to school, a kid grabs your lunchbag and plays “keep-away” with his friends. What canyou do? What can you say?

3) You notice that whenever your classmate gets up fromher desk, the girl in front of her sticks her foot out totrip her. What can you do? What can you say?

4) One of the girls in your class is always hanging aroundyou and making you uncomfortable in front of yourfriends. What can you do? What can you say?

5) You’re having fun playing dodgeball until you realizethat one kid on the other team is being made a target.What can you do? What can you say?


Language Arts; Math

Children’s television shows are full of incidents of teasing, name-calling, putdowns and bullying. Have children watch a favorite half-hour cartoon or other show each day for a week. Have them recordhow many times characters harassed one another during each show,and then create a graph rating the incidence. Students can also com-bine their results in a whole class graph.

Language Arts; Reading

Ask children to select and read one of the books of fiction on pages 11to 15 and give an oral report to the class. Tell children that as theyread they should think about the following questions:

• What kind of harassing or bullying behavior took place inthe story?

• How do you think the character felt while being harassedor bullied?

• What did the character who was being harassed or bullied doin response? Did it work? Why or why not?

• What else could the character have done?

• Did the character report the harassing or bullying to anadult? What was the outcome?

• Were there any characters who saw the harassing take place?What did they do?

Suggested

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Suggested ReadingReading for Educators and Parents

Cooper, Scott. Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal WithTeasing, Conflict and Other Hard Times. Random House, 2000.How parents can help their children learn to speak up forthemselves assertively, gently, and effectively.

Dennis, Mary Julia B. “Name-Calling and the Peer Beliefs of ElementarySchool Children.” Professional School Counseling, December 1999.Explores the name-calling practices of American schoolchildren.

Fried, Suellen, and Paula Fried. Bullies & Victims: Helping Your ChildSurvive the Schoolyard Battlefield. M. Evans & Co., 1998. Animportant guide for parents for understanding and minimizingthe effects of bullying and teasing.

Froschl, Merle, et al. Quit It! A Teacher’s Guide on Teasing andBullying for Use With Students in Grades K-3. Educational EquityConcepts, 1998. Sections on creating rules, talking about teas-ing and bullying, exploring courage, and more.

Hoover, John H. and Ronald Oliver. Bullying Prevention Handbook.National Educational Service, 1997. A comprehensive tool forunderstanding, preventing, and reducing day-to-day bullying.

McCoy, Elin. What to Do . . . When Kids Are Mean to Your Child.Reader’s Digest Adult, 1997. Helps parents help their kids solvethe bully problem. Also provides solutions for what to do whenit’s your child who’s mean, how to help your child learn socialskills, and where to go for help.

Motiar, A. Defanging a Bully. Education 2000, 1997. The secret isto involve the whole community—the kids who watchbullying happen, their parents and their teachers—so thatthe bully realizes that the whole community thinks bullyingis unacceptable.


Rigby, Ken. Bullying in Schools: And What to Do About It. Paul & Co.,1997. Offers useful strategies for identifying both bullies andvictims, ways to diffuse potentially troublesome situations,and more.

Ross, Dorothea M. Childhood Bullying and Teasing: What SchoolPersonnel, Other Professionals and Parents Can Do. AmericanCounseling Association, 1996. Packed with useful, well-reasoned information.

Sharp, Sonia, and Peter K. Smith, Editors. Tackling Bullying in YourSchool: A Practical Handbook for Teachers. Routledge, 1994.Practical suggestions from a variety of sources.

Shure, Myrna B., Ph.D. “Bullies and Their Victims: A Problem-SolvingApproach to Prevention.” The Brown University Child andAdolescent Behavior Letter, October 2000, p. 1. How to involvechildren in thinking about what they do by teaching themproblem-solving dialoguing.

Shure, Myrna B., Ph.D., with Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, M.Ed. Raisinga Thinking Child. Pocket Books, 1994. Techniques for teachingchildren not what to think or do, but to think for themselves.

Sjostrom, Lisa, and Nan Stein. Bully Proof: A Teacher’s Guide on Teasingand Bullying for Use With Fourth- and Fifth-Grade Students. 1996.Available from Wellesley College Center for Research onWomen, 106 Central St., Wellesley MA 02181 (617.283.2500)Eleven sequential core lesson —writing activities, reading as-signments, class discussions, role plays, case studies, etc.—thatrelate to bullying, teasing, and sexual harassment.

Fiction for Grades 3 to 5

Alexander, Martha. Move Over, Twerp. Dial, 1989. Big kids keep takingaway Jeffrey’s seat on the bus, that is, until he finds aningenious solution.

Blume, Judy. Blubber. Dell, 1974. Having engaged in bullying herself,Jill hates it when the tables are turned.


Byars, Betsy. The 18th Emergency. Econo-Clad Books, 1999. Althoughhe’s ready to confront any emergency, Mouse didn’t anticipatehaving to deal with the toughest boy in school, who is out toget him.

Carlson, Nancy. Loudmouth George and the Sixth-Grade Bully.Carolrhoda, 1983. After having his lunch repeatedly stolen by abully twice his size, George and his friend Harriet manage toteach the bully a lesson he’ll never forget.

Carrick, Carol. What a Wimp. Clarion, 1983. After his parents’ divorce,Barney not only has to cope with a new school but finds him-self confronted by a bully.

Conford, Ellen. Revenge of the Incredible Dr. Rancid and His YouthfulAssistant, Jeffrey. Little, Brown, 1980. An eleven-year-old boyuses his secret diary as a help in coping with the class bully.

Dadey, Debbie. King of the Cooties. Walker & Company, 1999. AfterLouisa keeps calling his new friend names, Nate comes up witha plan to make her stop.

De Paola, Tomie. Oliver Button is a Sissy. Econo-Clad Books, 1999.Oliver doesn’t let his classmates’ taunts stop him from doingwhat he likes best.

Gedig-Burnett, Karen. Simon’s Hook: A Story About Teases andPutdowns. GR Publishing, 1999. A charming story thatteaches young children a proven technique for handlingteasing and putdowns.

Giff, Patricia Reilly. Matthew Jackson Meets the Wall. Delacorte, 1990.Matthew nervously anticipates his first day at his new schoolafter a neighbor warns him about the Wall, a bully who loves togive out bloody noses.

Sachs, Marilyn. Veronica Ganz. Puffin Reprint, 1995. Although he’stiny and the new boy in school, Peter decides to stand up toVernonica, the class bully.


Sholz, Mary. The Bully of Barkham Street. Harper & Row, 1963.Why Martin Hastings turned into a bully and how he ceasedto be one.

Shreve, Susan. Joshua T. Bates Takes Charge. Knopf, 1993. When a bullystarts tormenting Joshua’s new friend, Joshua must decide whatto do.

Walker, Alice. Finding the Greenstone. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1991.

Wojciechowski, Susan. Don’t Call Me Beanhead. Candlewick Press,1996. Among her other troubles, Bernice also hates beingcalled Beanhead.

Venokur, Ross. The Amazing Frecktacle. Delacorte Press, 1998. Any kidwho has ever been the target of classroom teasing will identifywith Nicholas who, because of his bright red hair, unusual righteye, and an abundance of freckles, is the butt of jokes in school.

Non-Fiction for Grades 3 to 5

Carlson, Nancy. How to Lose All Your Friends. Puffin, 1994. Humorousadvice about what to do if you don’t want to have any friends.

Cohen-Posey,Kate, M.S., LMHC, LMFT. How to Handle Bullies, Teasersand Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name-Calling and Other Nonsense. Rainbow Books, 1995. Chock-full ofpractical strategies for handling bullies.

Johnston, Marianne. Dealing With Bullying. PowerKids Press, 1998. Ahow-to for younger readers.

LeShan, Eda. When Kids Drive Kids Crazy. Dial Books, 1990. Mixespersonal childhood memories with anecdotes about ordinarykids to establish the underlying reasons some kids will indulgein hurtful behaviors.


Sanders, Pete, and Steve Myers. Bullying (What Do You Know About?)Copper Beech Books, 1996. Help, cartoon-style, for dealing withbullying situations.

Verdick, Elizabeth, editor. Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain. Free SpiritPublishers, 1997. Blends humor with serious, practical sugges-tions for understanding, avoiding, and standing up to bullies.

Related Materials from Sunburst Visual Media

“Real Kids: What We Learned About Bullying”16-minute program for Grades 3-5

“How I Learned Not to Be Bullied”14-minute program for Grades 3-5

“No More Teasing!”14-minute program for Grades 3-5

“Bully and Victim”Interactive CD-ROM for Grades 3-5

“Respect Yourself and Others, Too”17-minute program for Grades 3-5

Script


ScriptJim:Whenever we play ball at recess this kid Mitch always aims for myglasses. And he calls me “four eyes.” He says he doesn’t do it onpurpose, but I know he does.

Katie:I don’t like to wear skirts to school, because Eddie always sneaks upbehind me and tries to peak underneath. He thinks it’s funny. I don’t.

Harry:There’s this one kid who steals my stuff all the time. He said if I tellanyone he’s gonna really get me. It makes me not even want to cometo school sometimes.

Host:Sound familiar? There’s a name for what those kids are talking about.It’s called harassment. Some people say harassment—but no matterhow you pronounce it, it isn’t funny. Still lots of people who act likethat say:

Brian:I didn’t mean it. I was just playing around.

Megan:Can’t you take a joke?

Greg:I was just kidding.

Host:Have you ever called anybody a name—or put them down— or pickedon them over and over and thought it was funny. Is that harassment?Well, let’s take a look. What is harassment?

• • • •

WHAT IS HARASSMENT?Host:One day when Justin came home from school he saw that a newfamily had moved into the house next door. And a girl, just about


his age, was playing outside. The ball she was playing with rolled intohis yard.

Lisa Marie:My ball rolled over here.

Justin:You just move in?

Lisa Marie:Yes—this morning. I’m gonna start school tomorrow.

Justin:What grade are you in?

Lisa Marie:Fourth.

Justin:Me, too…Do you know whose class you’re gonna be in?

Lisa Marie:I think my Mom said Ms. Rutland.

Justin:Hey, that’s my class.

Lisa Marie:Wow.

Host:Lisa Marie was very happy because now she would know at least oneperson in the class.

Justin:My name’s Justin. What’s yours?

Lisa Marie:Lisa Marie.


Justin:Lisa Marie what?

Lisa Marie:Muffett.

Justin:Muffett? Like Little Miss Muffett?

Lisa Marie:Well—yeah…everyone says that. But I really don’t like it. It’s kind ofembarrassing.

Justin:Why?…Muffett…Lisa Marie Muffett…Lisa Marie Muffett…Hey, itreally is Little Miss Muffett! That’s funny!

Host:Now Lisa Marie wasn’t so happy. She was afraid Justin would keepsaying that.

Well, the next day, Lisa Marie discovered she was right. Justin did keepcalling her that.

Justin:Hi, Little Miss Muffett.

Lisa Marie:Justin, I know you think that’s funny, but…please …. don’t keepcalling me that.. I really don’t like it.

Host:Later that day Justin was at the after school center. He belonged to achess club—he loved playing chess. Well, it turned out that Lisa Mariealso liked playing chess, so she decided to give it a try.

Justin:Hey, I didn’t know you played chess.


Lisa Marie:I really like it.

Justin:Want to play?

Lisa Marie:Sure.

Host:So they started to play. Lisa Marie won the first game and she won thesecond game. Justin was getting upset. Then he remembered that hehad a secret weapon he could use against her. And it had nothing todo with chess.

Justin:Lisa Marie Muffett, sat on her Tuffet, eating her curds andwhey…Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frighteningMiss Muffett away!

Host:After that Justin called Lisa Marie “Little Miss Muffett” all the time—inclass, on the bus, at the chess club. And it got worse. When the otherkids heard him, they started calling her that too. Soon everyone wascalling her Little Miss Muffett.

Lisa Marie tried to make the best of it. But she was really embarrassedand upset.

So, is being teased always harassment? Well, not necessarily. Supposeyou’re called a funny name and it doesn’t bother you. The kids in myschool used to call me Peanut—cause I was very short. I didn’t mind.In fact I thought it was funny too.

Host:But that’s not what Justin did. The way Justin teased Lisa Marie isharassment. Here’s how you can tell.


So, is the way Justin teased Lisa Marie harassment? The answer is yes.

It’s harassment:

• if the teasing makes you feel bad

• if the other person knows you’ll be upset or hurt (and)

• if it keeps going on after you ask the other person to stop

Now, when Justin first called Lisa Marie “Little Miss Muffett”, hedidn’t do it to be mean. He thought it was funny.

Justin:Miss Muffett! That’s funny!

Host:And if Lisa Marie didn’t mind, then it wouldn’t have been harassment.But she did mind. And she told him so.

Lisa Marie:Please. Don’t keep calling me that…I really don’t like it.

Host:Then Justin used the name because he knew it would upset her.

Remember: If the teasing makes you feel bad—if the person knowsthat you’ll be upset—and if it keeps going on after you ask them tostop—then it’s harassment.

Stop the tape here for “What Is Harassment” Activity Sheets.

• • • •

DIFFERENT KINDS OF HARASSMENTHost:So let’s review what we know about harassment. Harassment isbehavior that keeps going on after you ask the other person to stop.It makes you feel bad and the other person knows that it bothers you.Harassment can also make you uncomfortable. That’s how Emmamade Greg feel.


Emma and Greg are in the same class. Emma really wants to be Greg’sfriend, but Greg, well, he really isn’t interested. It’s not that he doesn’tlike Emma—or that he’s mean to her in any way—he just likes to dothings with the other boys. But Emma keeps tagging along after him.

And sending him notes in class. And calling him up at night.

Jim:Hey Greg—look it’s your girlfriend.

Greg:She’s not my girlfriend.

Jim:Well, you better tell her that!

Host:Greg was really starting to get upset. Emma was embarrassing him infront of his friends and making him uncomfortable. So he tried tothink of a nice way to tell her that he didn’t want her to trail after himall the time.

Greg:Listen Emma. I don’t like it when you hang around me all the time.

Emma:Why?

Greg:I just don’t like it—I don’t want you to do it—okay?

Host:But Emma didn’t stop.

Emma:Hi, Greg.

Greg:Hi, Emma.


Emma:Listen—I’m having a birthday party and I want you to come.

Greg:To your party?

Emma:Yeah.

Greg:Are any of the other guys coming?

Emma:Well, I didn’t invite them yet. I thought I’d invite you first.

Greg:I don’t know.

Emma:They’ll come if you do.

Greg:I don’t know.

Emma:Will you think about it?

Greg:Okay.

Emma:Great!

Greg:Yuk!

Host:Would you call what Emma is doing to Greg harassment? It is. But thisis a kind of harassment that doesn’t only make you feel bad, it canmake you feel uncomfortable. And Greg is certainly uncomfortable


now. When anyone kisses you or touches you without your permis-sion—and if they keep doing it even after you tell them not too—that’s harassment.

Stop the tape here for “Different Kinds of Harassment” Activity Sheets.• • • •

WHAT TO DO ABOUT HARASSMENTHost:So we know that teasing someone who doesn’t want to be teased isharassment, and touching them when they don’t want to be touchedis harassment. Now let’s look at bullying. Being picked on and bulliedis definitely harassment. But can you do anything about it? Well infact there are a few things you can do. Let’s see what we can learnfrom Harry’s situation.

Harry took the bus to school every day. And he never really had aproblem until the day Brian started to pick on him.

Harry:Hey—who did that?!

I saw you Brian. You better stop it.

Brian:“I saw you Brian.” What’s the matter? You can’t take a joke?

Harry:I don’t think it’s funny.

Brian:Everybody else does. Right?

Host:When school ended that day, Harry went to get on the bus. He washoping he wouldn’t see Brian.

But of course he did. So Harry tried to avoid him. That‘s a good thingto do if someone is harassing you. That is, if it’s possible. So Harrytook a seat where he thought he could avoid Brian. But Brian gotaround that.


Brian:Let me sit there. Hey.

Brian:What’s the matter? You got something stuck in your ears?

Host:Harry tried ignoring Brian. Sometimes that works. See, bullies like tosee the people they pick on get upset. But if the bully doesn’t get areaction, there’s a good chance that he’ll give up and the harassmentwill stop. So Harry tried to ignore Brian. But the more Harry ignoredhim, the worse things got. Finally Harry couldn’t take anymore.

Harry:I said stop it.

Brian:“I said stop it.”

Cara:Hey?

Brian:Look—it’s Princess Harriet.

Host:Harry was really embarrassed. So he thought he’s try something else.He decided to speak to Brian—tell him felt and he ask him to stop. Iknow Harry tried to tell him to stop on the bus…

Harry:I said stop it.

Host:But let’s face it—that didn’t sound very forceful. And Brian had anaudience. He wasn’t about to stop when he had all the other kids onthe bus laughing. If you’re going to speak to the harasser—you have topick a time and place when the talk can be just between the two ofyou. But you have to make sure that there are other people in the area,


so you’re not all alone. Private—but still out in the open. So Harrydecided to speak to Brian in the hallway at school.

Harry:Hey, Brian—listen. I don’t want you to shoot spit balls at me or hitme anymore. Or call me names—like princess. I want you to stop.

Brian:But why? Can’t you take a joke? Everyone else thinks it’s funny.

Harry:Well I don’t and I want you to stop.

Brian:Okay. I won’t touch you anymore.

Harry:Or call me names.

Brian:Or call you names.

Host:Harry walked away feeling good about how he handled the situation.

The next day when he got on the bus, Harry decided to play it safe. Hesat as far away from Brian as he could and waited. Nothing happened.So, he thought his talk worked. But it didn’t.

Allison:Hey Harry—look what Brian’s passing around.

Bill:He gave me one, too.

Brian:What? I’m not calling you names. I’m not touching you. This istouching you! Can’t you tell the difference?


Host:So Harry decided to talk to his teacher. Sometimes speaking to anadult you trust—a teacher or guidance counselor—can really help youdeal with the problem.

And that’s what Harry did. He spoke to his teacher and explainedexactly what was happening.

Host:So let’s go over the things you can do if some is harassing you.

• You can try to avoid the person

• You can try to ignore them. Remember, very often a bully or harasser is looking to get a reaction from you. If you don’t react, they may stop.

• You can try to make a joke. It may help to ease the tension.

• You can talk to the harasser. Say how you feel and ask them to stop. Speak to the person one-on-one, but not in a place where the two of you will be entirely alone.

• And, if you need to, you can ask an adult for help.

Stop the tape here for “What To Do About Harassment” Activity Sheets.

• • • •

LET’S STOP HARASSMENTHost:So far we’ve talked about the person doing the harassing—and theperson who’s being harassed. But often there’s a third person involved.That’s the person who stands by and sees what’s happening butdoesn’t do anything about it.

Chances are everybody’s been in that position one time or another.And figuring out what to do—or if you should do anything—can bedifficult. That’s the spot Katie found herself in.

One day Katie, Marcy, and Megan were at the park looking at tradingcards of their favorite music groups.


Marcy:Look at Denny. He’s got the cutest face.

Katie:Jeremy’s my favorite. I like his earrings.

Host:As they were talking, Jennifer showed up.

Jennifer:Hey, guys what are you doing?

Marcy:We’re looking at our trading cards.

Katie:See. Who’s your favorite?

Jennifer:I don’t know. My mom won’t let me collect cards like that.

Megan:Why not?

Jennifer:She doesn’t think I should have stuff like that.

Megan:What?

Jennifer:She says it’s a waste of money. You guys want to go play on the swingsor something.

Marcy:No—we’re gonna go over to my house to look at our cards. I guess youcan’t come. Come on girls, let’s go.

Host:Jennifer felt left out. After all, Katie and Megan and Marcy were her


friends. But she figured, it was only for today. By tomorrow thingswould be back to normal. But then, at school the next day.

Jennifer:Hi.

Katie:Hi.

Jennifer:Can you make room?

Marcy:Listen, Jennifer. We decided to start a trading card club. And onlypeople in the club can sit at this table. Right?

Megan:Right.

Jennifer:Oh.

Host:Jennifer was very hurt. Katie felt kind of bad too. She knew that whatshe and Megan and Marcy were doing wasn’t right. But she didn’t doanything—or say anything.

And it got worse. Soon Megan and Marcy and Katie weren’t eventalking to Jennifer. They acted as if she wasn’t even around. Jenniferfelt terrible. And now Katie felt terrible too. And guilty. Finally, sherealized that she had to do something. So she told Megan and Marcyhow she felt.

Katie:I think what we’re doing to Jennifer is really mean.

Marcy:What are you talking about? She doesn’t want to be in our club.


Katie:That’s not true. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be in the club. She’snot allowed to collect the cards. But what difference does that make?Why shouldn’t we be friends with her like we used to be?

Marcy:Because we’re the Card Club.

Katie:That’s just stupid. I’m not doing this anymore. Jennifer’s our friend—and I feel terrible for being so mean to her.

Host:What Katie did took courage. She realized that way the girls weretreating Jennifer wasn’t right—so she said something and then tried tomake a bad situation better.

If you’re part of a group that’s harassing someone and you don’t sayanything to stop it—if you just go along—then you’re just adding tothe problem. And probably, like Katie, you’ll feel bad about yourself.But, if you don’t go along, then you’ll feel much better.

But what if you’re not part of the group of people doing the harass-ment—if you just happen to be around when you see someone beingpicked on or teased or bullied? What should you do then? Well, theworst thing is to act like you think its funny—you know, give support.

But it just might be that you don’t think you can talk to the personwho’s doing the harassing. And maybe you shouldn’t. It might bedangerous. But, you can always tell someone else what’s going on.Talk to an adult you trust and let them know what’s happening.

So now you know what harassment is, how it makes people feel, andwhat you can do about it—if it happens to you or if you see it happen-ing to someone else. And you know, no matter what the person doingthe harassment says, it’s never funny. It always hurts. So let’s all do thebest we can to stop it.

The End

Activities


Name: Date:

Activity Sheets Table of Contents

What is Harassment?

How Does It Feel?......................................................... 32

“I Was Just Kidding!” ................................................... 33

Acceptable or Unacceptable? ....................................... 34

Nickname or Name-Calling? ....................................... 35

Different Kinds of Harassment

A Different Kind of Harassment .................................. 36

Word Scramble ............................................................. 37

Be Respectful! ............................................................... 38

What To Do About Harassment

Are You a Bully? ........................................................... 39

Harassment—How Could You Handle It? ................... 40

Who Could I Turn To? ................................................. 41

Word Find .................................................................... 42

Let’s Stop Harassment

It Takes C-O-U-R-A-G-E ................................................ 43

Harassment Response Card .......................................... 44

Self-Respect: What Does It Look Like?......................... 45

Bully-Free ..................................................................... 46

Sunburst grants permission to reproduce activity sheets.

Wh

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Name: Date:

How Does It Feel?How does it feel when someone teases you? Here are some words thatdescribe how people might feel:

embarrassed uneasy angry

nervous tearful upset

ashamed worried hurt

foolish sad weak in the knees

1. Choose and write down words from this list that you think describe LisaMarie’s feelings when Justin teased her.

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________________________________

2. Choose and write down words from this list that describe your feelingswhen someone teases you.

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________________________________

What is Harassment?Activity Sheet 1


Name: Date:

“I Was Just Kidding!”Write about a time when you were teased, put down or bullied and theperson told you, “I was just kidding!” Tell what happened and how you feltabout it. What did you or someone else do to make the situation better? Ifyou wish, don’t use real names except for your own.

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Name: Date:

Acceptable or Unacceptable?Teasing is acceptable when it doesn’t hurt our feelings, isn’t repeatedconstantly, isn’t directed at something over which we have no control,doesn’t embarrass us in front of others, and has a friendly tone. At allother times, however, teasing is unacceptable.

Next to each example below, put an “A” if you think the teasing is accept-able or a “U” if you think it is unacceptable.

Molly always wears pants to school, but today she’s wearing a prettydress. Seeing Molly walk into class, her friend Neil says, “Gee, you look like a girl!”

Joey is small for his age and has just gotten eyeglasses. Larry, who isstanding with a group of kids, spots Joey and yells to the other kids,“Hey, I didn’t know shrimps wore glasses!”

Ever since Josh got the highest mark on the social studies test,Kevin keeps calling him “Brainhead” and waits for the rest of theclass to laugh.

Annie is proud of her new sneakers, but Toby calls them “baby-shoes.” As soon as Toby sees how her words hurt Annie, Toby tellsher, “I was just kidding!”

Ashley’s dad usually calls her “Princess,” but not in front ofher friends.

Bart tried to catch the flyball Tony popped into the outfield, but itslipped through his fingers, making him feel terrible. For the rest ofthe game, his teammates call him “Butterfingers,” which made himfeel worse.

As Matt and Gina are working together on a poster for their scienceproject, Matt makes fun of Gina’s lettering. Upset, Gina throws downher brush. Matt says, “Can’t you take a joke?”



Name: Date:


Nickname or Name-Calling?

1. What is your definition of a nickname?

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2. The host says that she was called “Peanut” when she was younger. Whatis the difference between her situation and Lisa Marie’s?

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3. Do you have a nickname that members of your family call you by?

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4. Would you find it embarrassing if your classmate called you that name?

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5. Ask someone if they have a family nickname? Ask if they would beembarrassed to be called that name by their friends? Ask them why?

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Differen

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Name: Date:

A Different Kindof Harassment

Touching or kissing someone without their permission is a different form ofharassment. After each of the stories below, tell how you think the personfeels, using one or more of the words shown in the box.

angry embarrassed uncomfortable

uneasy scared upset

ashamed foolish humiliated

1. On the playground, Patti is waiting her turn at the water fountain whenEric cuts in behind her and keeps bumping her.

Patti feels:________________________________________________________.

2. Three boys in David’s class think it’s fun to jump him in the boys’ bathroom and pull down his pants.

David feels:________________________________________________________.

3. Whenever Shaundra sits near Tony, he waits for her to stand up so he canget on the floor and peek under her dress.

Shaundra feels:________________________________________________________.

4. Megan hangs around Robert all the time, and given the chance, will kisshim in front of his teammates.

Robert feels:________________________________________________________.

5. Sitting just behind Christine, Michael pulls hard at her ponytail. Whenshe turns around he tells her, “Oops, I thought you were a pony.”

Christine feels:

________________________________________________________.

Different kinds of HarassmentActivity Sheet 1


Name: Date:

Word ScrambleUnscramble the letters to make a word that fits in each sentence. Use thewords in the box as clues.

harassment uncomfortable revenge feelingsembarrassing hurtful permission nervousangry upset alarmed joking

1. Teasing or taunting someone are forms of _________________.

r a m a s h n e t s

2. Calling someone a _________________ name can make the person feel bad.

r h u l t u f

3. Teasing can be very _________________ to the person being teased.

s m a r g s e b i r an s

4. Saying “I was just _________________” after teasing someone doesn’tchange anything.

k o g i n j

5. A harasser doesn’t care if he/she hurts someone’s _________________.

g e n l i e f s

6. Justin _________________ Lisa Marie by calling her “Little Miss Muffett.”

s t u p e

7. Justin was _________________ that Lisa Marie kept beating him at chess.

y a g r n

8. Justin got his _________________ by continuing to call Lisa Marie“Little Miss Muffett.”

g e v r e n e

9. Emma made Greg _________________ by hanging around him.

s n e o v u r

10. Greg was _________________ when Emma asked him to her birthday party.

m a r e l a d

11. Emma made Greg very _________________ by kissing him.

f r a l e b o c u n m o t

12. Kissing or touching someone without their _________________ is a formof harassment.

o n i s p r e m s i



Name: Date:

Be Respectful!Treating other people with respect makes them feel good. Harassment ofany kind is disrespectful because it makes people feel bad.

In the top box, draw a picture of the way you feel when someone treatsyou with respect. In the bottom box, draw a picture of how you wouldfeel if someone teased you, put you down or touched you withoutyour permission.


Wh

at To

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Name: Date:

Are You a Bully?For each question, circle whether the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “sometimes.”

1. Do you enjoy teasing others?

yes no sometimes

2. If you see that your teasing is upsetting someone, do you keep on doing it?

yes no sometimes

3. Do you laugh if someone makes a mistake or hesitates?

yes no sometimes

4. Do you think it’s fun to embarrass someone?

yes no sometimes

5. Do you pick on people who can’t or are unwilling to fight back?

yes no sometimes

6. When another person is harassing someone, do you go along with the teasing?

yes no sometimes

7. Do you feel you always have to come out on top?

yes no sometimes

8. If someone makes you angry, do you have trouble getting overyour anger?

yes no sometimes

9. Do you blame others for the things that happen to you?

yes no sometimes

10. If someone bullies you, do you feel the need to get revenge?

yes no sometimes

Scoring:Give yourself two points for each “yes” you have circled. If your score is sixor less, you are not a bully. However, if your score is ten or more, it might bea good idea to think about your behavior. Instead of bullying someone, askyourself how you would feel in that person’s place.Remember, bullying hurts.

What To Do About HarassmentActivity Sheet 1


Name: Date:

Harassment —How Could You Handle It?

What do you do when someone bullies you, teases you or puts you down?Here are some strategies to get a harasser to stop. Put a check next to theones you think could work for you.

• ______ Ignore the harasser.

• ______ Tell the harasser you don’t like what he/she is doingand to stop.

• ______ Use humor; laugh right along with the harasser.

• ______ “Own” the tease or putdown by agreeing that the harasser isright, but what can you do?

• ______ Use self-talk; tell yourself that the tease or putdown is theharasser’s problem, not yours.

• ______ Ask an adult you trust for help.

In the space below, write about a time someone harassed you. What did youdo? What happened? Then write what would have happened if you had usedone of the ways listed above to get the harasser to stop. Use the back of thissheet if you need to.

✔



Name: Date:

Who Could I Turn To?You ignore the bullying. You avoid the bully. You tell the bully how you feeland ask him/her to stop. But nothing works. Now is a good time to ask forhelp from an adult you trust. But who? Think of three people who can helpyou, and write some reasons for choosing that person.

1. __________________:

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

2. __________________:

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

3. __________________:

____________________________________

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Name: Date:

Word FindFind the words from the Word List in the puzzle and draw a circle aroundthem.

Word List

harassment embarrassing upset

tease ignore angry

feelings hurtful joke

uncomfortable kidding putdown

bully

Write a sentence using at least four of the words you found in the puzzle.

HXLOPUTDOWNBSZALU

FAGNJ

QEBPOAJ

OKERN

STRMDEKVAZFIYHDBC

EMBARRASSI

NGILBFO

VOUQSCHBDSANWJ

QEM

ZDLTUSBUNHCOKIREF

HSLBGJ

MORVARFRXLO

EFYDSYTESTGEPDAIR

VCSQZREI

NHFMXUSNT

KIDDI

NGNYTJULPCGA

ASQRKPHACDWKLSFSB

ORJ

WBXMEVLGMBEBIL

ANGRYALPWESAETMHE


Let’s Stop

Ha

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Name: Date:

It Takes C-O-U-R-A-G-EWhen you see somebody being harassed, it can take courage to tell theharasser to stop. In each of the following situations, circle the degree ofcourage you think you would need to speak up, then write one or twosentences telling why.

How much courage would it take for you to:

Stick up for a friend being teased?

a little a lot a great deal

Tell your best friend to stop teasing a new classmate?


Confront a bully your age teasing a younger kid?


Tell an adult about someone bullying someone else?


Let’s Stop HarassmentActivity Sheet 1


Name: Date:

Harassment Response CardHere are some responses to use when you are harassed or see someone elsebeing harassed. Cut this sheet into cards and keep them as a reminder.

When you are harassed When you are harassed

When you are harassed When you are harassed

When you see someone else being harassed When you see someone else being harassed

When you see someone else being harassed When you see someone else being harassed

Ignore theharassment.

Tell theharasserto stop.

Avoid theharasser.

Ask an adultforhelp.

Don’t Bea Bystander

Don’t Encouragea Bully —Don’t Join In

TELL AN ADULTYOU TRUST.

IIIIIf You’re Not Speaking Up,f You’re Not Speaking Up,f You’re Not Speaking Up,f You’re Not Speaking Up,f You’re Not Speaking Up,You’re Part of the Problem.You’re Part of the Problem.You’re Part of the Problem.You’re Part of the Problem.You’re Part of the Problem.



Name: Date:

Self-Respect:What Does It Look Like?

A healthy self-respect can help to protect you from being harassed, becauseit’s the part of you that says, “I won’t put up with being treated badly byothers.”

Suppose you wanted to show what self-respect looks like. What shape orform would you give it? Would it be a superhero? A fierce animal? A shiningstar? In the space below, draw your image of what self-respect looks like.Then write a few lines describing your image and why you chose it. You mayuse a different piece of paper if you would like.



Name: Date:

Bully-FreeUse the four panels below to create a comic strip that shows a bystandersuccessfully speaking up for someone who is being bullied. Your bystandercan be a superhero, but a respectful and nonviolent one.


Executive Producer: Susan Eikov Green

Writer: Tony Mazzarella

Teacher’s Guide: Ruth Grossman

Video Production: Mazzarella Bros. Productions, Inc.Bristol, CT

Graphic Design: Christine Boscarino

101 Castleton StreetPleasantville, NY 10570

1-800-431-1934

© 2001 Sunburst Visual Media, a division of Global Video, LLC

ISBN 0-7805-4505-2


Credits

Documents

Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! - KET Education · Student Workshop I Was Just Kidding! Learning About Harassment. About the Program. ... after asking him to think about it,