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Strategies for Educating and Communicating with Parents
NIAAA National ConferenceDecember 2013
Anaheim, CA
Dave Kapp, CMAA - Athletic Director
Mike OrRico, Ph.D. - Psychologist
Madison East High School
Madison, WI
• In 2009 an Ohio man was charged with battery, disorderly conduct, and affray after an altercation at a 12-year-old girls’ softball game. The man got into an argument with a father of a girl on the opposing team and punched him in the head.
• In 2011 Pennsylvania Police were called to quell a brawl in which at least 50 parents and players were involved at the end of a football game for 11 – to 13 – year olds.
• In 2011, after a New York hockey game for 11 – and 12 – year old boys, a father struck his son’s coach in the face with two hockey sticks – bloodying the coach’s nose.
• After a California Little League game in 2009, a man coaching his son’s team beat up the manager of the opposing team. The assailant had been ejected by a 16 – year – old umpire.
• In 2011, a Pennsylvania police officer was convicted of corruption of a minor and solicitation to commit simple assault for giving $2.00 to a 10 – year – old pitcher to hit a batter with a fastball.
• In 2011, an Ohio soccer dad pleaded no contest to a charge of assault after he punched a 14 – year – old boy who had scuffled for the ball with the man’s 14 – year –old son.
• In 2011 a former Nebraska corrections officer was sentenced to 30 days in jail for assaulting a 16 – year – old referee at a flag football game for six – and seven – year – old boys.
• In 2012 a Florida youth baseball coach was arrested for aggravated battery after he broke an umpire’s jaw with a punch at a Police Athletic League game for high school players.
• In 2012 a Wisconsin father threatened his high school AD with physical violence after being let go from his volunteer coaching position. The coach was let go for, amongst other things, a short temper.
• In 2010 a Wisconsin father offered a high school AD a five-figure “donation” if the entire football staff at his school was let go.
• In 2012 a Wisconsin father filed a formal complaint about his school’s AD – using legal counsel - alleging that the AD had colluded with high school coaches to affect his children’s making of sports teams’ rosters and/or being demoted from starting positions on teams.
The Over - Involved Parent
• “The Over-Involved parent creates a situation in which the child is under pressure to perform for his/her parents rather than the focus being on the child’s development as an athlete and a person.”
The History of Over - Parenting
• Before the 90’s, parents believed failure was fruitful
• After 1990, parents became more fearful and anxious about their child’s well-being and development
• Children are viewed as little adults
• Parents have more guilt
• Children are viewed as more capable than parents were as children
The Over - Involved Parent
• “The Over-Involved parent creates a situation in which the child is under pressure to perform for his/her parents rather than the focus being on the child’s development as an athlete and a person.”
The “Excitable” Parent
• Typically supportive
• Gets caught up in the moment
• During competitions are loud and yell at coaches, officials, players
• Overly concerned with the physical well –being of their child
• Often, athletes (of these parents) will discourage their parents from coming to games or practices
The “Hostile” Parent
• Controlling and confrontational
• Winning and losing is primary focus
• They believe the primary reason for their child to be an athlete is to win medals, gain social status, and get recognition (or become a professional athlete)
• These parents have an unrealistic expectation about their child’s ability
The “Hostile” Parent
• The affect on the athlete is powerful:
– Athletes are under significant parental pressure
– Athletes tend to argue more with coaches and officials
– Athletes tend to show less effort and enjoyment during practice and training
– Athletes are more likely to drop out of sports
Things to Remember/Do
• Slow things down• Stay open – minded• Meet face to face• Structure the meeting• Be prepared• Don’t allow splitting• Get consultation• Be proactive• Train coaches
Things to Remember/Do
• Medication (Damitol)!
Questions & Answers
• ???
Dave Kapp, CMAA, Athletic Director
Mike OrRico, Ph. D., Psychologist
Madison East High School
2222 East Washington Avenue
Madison, WI 53704
