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Staying Healthy While You Work
withThe Clover Practice™
Kathleen A. Paris, Ph.D.
From Inspiration to Application
Careers ConferenceJanuary 27, 2010
We don’thave to wait for other
people or “the system” to change to have
healthier work lives ourselves.
The Clover PracticeTM
• Tell the truth, always
• Speak for yourself
• Declare your interdependence
Clover Principle # 1
Tell the Truth, Always
Tell the Truth, Always
1. Tell the truth as you know it, recognizing that you may know only part of the “Truth”
2. Stay humble about your reality
3. Recognize that even “white lies” compromise your integrity
93% of 40,000 workers admitted to lying habitually
and regularly in the workplace
Fast Company
College students admitted that at
least 70% of their
excuses for missed
assignments are lies
Pagano & Pagano
Tell the Truth, Always
“You create a field of clarity and safety around you wherever you go.”
Pagano & Pagano
You need never be in hiding.
Research
“Strong relationships, careers, organizations, and communities all draw from the same source of power—the ability to talk openly about high-stakes, emotional, controversial issues.”
Patterson et al. (2002)[Emphasis added]
There are as many versions of “the truth” as there are people in the room.
Our own “screens” or filtering lenses are subconscious and largely unknown to us.
“The truth as we know it…”
AA & Al-Anon
Honesty vs. Flapping Your Gums
1. Will my comment add value?
2. Will my comment help others or myself get the job done?
3. What are my motives?
Evaluating the Risk
1.What has my experience been with this person before?
2.Do I have adequate information to support my observations?
3.What is the best I can hope for if I don’t bring it up?
4.What is the worst thing that could happen if I do bring it up?
5. How realistic is my answer to #4?
6. Can I find a time and place to discuss this so the person can hear it?
7. Do I need to take someone else along?
8. Others?
Evaluating the Risk, cont.’
“I’ve been in this department for twenty years and it’s been the same the whole time—people are treated like dirt.”
How is this person contributing to the problem?
Clover Principle #2
Speak for Yourself
It matters how and when you tell the truth
Think of a time when you said:
I don’t know what to think about it.
I’m not sure how I’m feeling right now.
I don’t know if I like it or not.
I don’t know how I would react if…
I don’t know what I want.
Speak for Yourself
Express your view in terms of your own observations, experiences, and preferences (not eternal truths).
I saw XYZI heard a student saying XYZI noticed that…..I felt that…
Say it in a way that the other person can hear it.
• Concrete and fact-based
• Without name calling or labels (careless, inconsiderate, unprofessional)
• Focused on current situation, not old history
• Not publicly embarrassing
Try Feedback Instead of Criticism
Information on what was or was not accomplished in light of a goal
• Observable facts [as you see them]
• What did or did not happen?
• Specific, concrete, non-judgmental language • What was the impact?
Source: Grant Wiggins http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/assess/wiggins.htm
Speak for Yourself
It makes telling the truth easier and safer.
“It was a lousy
workshop.”
Not “Speaking for Yourself”
Is “Speaking for Yourself”
You are asked “Do you like the new
handbook?” You think it looks boring.
How could you tell the truth and speak for yourself?
It was really inconsiderate of you to take the afternoon off today of all days!
Not “Speaking for Yourself” Is “Speaking for Yourself”
“I feel” is not a free ticket.
I feel that you are an incompetent, lazy oaf.
Speak for yourself
Speak directly to the person when there’s a problem.
New and Improved
• When you_______________(describe other person’s behavior)
• I interpret that as ___________(describe impact on you)
• How do you see the situation? (provides a chance for others to tell their “story”)
• I would like you to____________(describe what actions/behaviors you want)
• I am willing to __________________(describe what you will do to help)
• Are you willing to try it?
Speak for yourself
Avoid Gossip
Tell the truth always
Refuse to repeat information that could harm Refuse to repeat information that could harm another person.another person.
Gossip
Impacts of Workplace Gossip?
Clover Principle TM #3
Declare Your Interdependence
We Are More Connected Than We Think
What happens in one part of the department affects the whole.
20th Century American Heroes
• The Lone Ranger• John Wayne• Rambo• Batman• Dirty Harry• Superman• Spiderman• Mr. & Mrs. Smith
No one succeeds in an organization by his or her own effort alone.
The people who figure out the payroll, keep the electricity and heat on, plow the lots, keep the computer network running, wash the dishes—in the moment they are doing their work—are just as essential as the more visible “stars” of the organization.
Connections & Interdependence
If we had a stronger sense of how much our own success depends on the success of others in the organization
• What might we do differently?
• More of?
• Less of?
When something is consistently going wrong in a relationship, we are part
of the problem.
I believe:
To the extent that you can live the Clover Practice™:
You can stay healthy in your own mind spirit and enrich your organization.
Pagano, Barbara and Pagano, Elizabeth. (2004).The Transparency Edge: How Credibility Can Make or Break You in Business. Chicago: McGraw-Hill.
Paris, Kathleen (2008). Staying Healthy in Sick Organizations: The Clover Practice™. Charleston, South Carolina: BookSurge.
Resources
Resources, cont.
Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron and Switzler, Al. (2002). Crucial Conversations. Chicago: McGraw Hill.
Ryan, Kathleen and Oestreich, Daniel. (1996).The Courageous Messenger: How to Successfully Speak Up at Work. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
