SS - HOME Building - E PDF

8/13/2019 SS - HOME Building - E PDF

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Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.~Proverbs 15:17

One day we were sitting on the couch and my daughter crawled up on myhusbands lap. He looked down at her and said, Abby, Im glad you feel comfortable inyour home. I just looked at him amazed. He then went on to explain that growing upthey never felt comfortable in their home. To this day it is that way. No, me on the otherhand, We aired our feeling, our dirty laundry, our happiness, our junk, all over the placefor everyone to hear and see. Yet, we didnt feel comfortable in our homes. It wasnt a

safe place to make mistakes growing up. It wasnt a safe place to be refined, Oh,nerdiness was encouraged in my family, but not sophistication. Properness wasstressed in my husbands family but not a little bit of zaniness now and then. Im notsaying I have it right, I still make mistakes, I still blunder, but I think we are trying toreach a balance of properness (like not crawling all over the couches) and zaniness(like wrestling on the floor). This is something that both my husband and I work at, theatmosphere in our home. There are several things we do. I want to share some practicalthings to do to make your family members feel at home:

1. Play GODLY Christ honoring music.

If you couldnt listen to it with Jesus there in the flesh with you TURN IT OFF!

knvbc is a free app from North Valley Baptist Church in California. They have anexcellent radio station.

Grace Baptist Church in Michigan has an app that you can listen to their stuff.

Rejoice radio can be listened to on the computer.

Cds. I can recommend several godly cds that are fun to listen to!

Playing this kind of music can soothe nerves. Honestly there is music out there thatI call sandpaper for the soul. Its awful to listen to, I get agitated listening to it. I snip

E.very Oneneeds a place to belong


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at people easier. Music is a very good thing for your family when right, but it canalso be a very bad thing for your family when done wrong.

2. Turn Your Bedroom into a Cozy Sanctuary

Your bedroom should be a special place. Decorate it. Have a nice comforter. Thisis going to tell your husband that you desire him. That your time with him is

important to you. Keep your room clean. Besides, whats better than snuggling in a warm bed with your love? or if you dont

have a love yet, by yourself?

If you arent married your room, just as your clothes do, reflect who you are. Is itproperly reflecting what you want others to think you are?

3. Bring the Bloom Indoors

Blooming indoor plants bring the beauty and vibrance of an outdoor garden intoyour home. Of course, if you are like me and are a Serial Plant Killer you might trya fresh bouquet from time to time.

4. Promote Happiness with Color

It is amazing what a fresh coat of paint will do for a room! Be adventurous, do

color!5. Bask in the Glow

Candles are the perfect way to add a warm feeling to your home and a wonderfulsmell. My husband loves candles. He brings them home all the time. If I know whattime he is coming home, Ill burn a few candles so it smells good when he walks inthe door and has a cozy brightness.

Candles can create a friendly feeling, ad sparkle to the dinner table and promoteromance int he bedroom, (plus, everyone looks better by candlelight!)

Whether it is a cluster of tea lights, a grouping of candlesticks or a solitary 3-wickgiant, let the glow of candles fill your rooms and your heart with warmth and love.

6. Cleanse Your Space and Spirit

Keep your house and your life clean. Get on a cleaning schedule. But also take time EACH day to visit with God. A visit is you talking to someone

and them talking back. Read your bible (Let God talk to you), Pray (Talk to God),and Witness (Talk to someone else about God). If you do the first two the third willcome naturally.

7. Who are you?

Think of who you are. List five values that best describe you, and think of ways tohonor them in your home. Let that knowledge influence all your design decisions.

8. Whats all this stuff?

There is a transformative effect of getting rid of stuff. When you clear the externalclutter, you often clear the internal confusion.

Start Small. Small steps done consistently will eventually reap big rewards. Clarify your goals. Think about your plans for each room in terms of how you need

to to function and then make the space fit those goals.

Stop clutter at the source: shopping. Shop mindfully. Ask yourself, Will thispurchase enhance my life and also help me achieve my goals in terms of myspace?


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Have realistic expectation. Dont try to recreate the perfection you see in designbooks and magazines if you have small children or a small budget. Pay cash,NEVER credit. Its disheartening to think you are still paying for those items.

Control paper. Its the No. 1 source of clutter and anxiety in terms of organizing thehome, so create a system that handles paper daily so that it doesnt overwhelm

you and become clutter.9. Dont have a critical spirit towards your spouse.

We know each others strengths and each others weakness (they are especiallyevident at the end of a long, stressful work day or a rough day with the kids). Itseasy, when faced with those weaknesses to want to point them out in ways thatarent patient, loving, tactful or kind.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. ~Proverbs15:1

10. Find and do things you enjoy, together, but also give your spouse the freedom to dowhat he enjoys by himself.

Do something by yourself . . . without your kids! Its good for everyone! ]

Few couples have everything or nothing in common. Theres usually some overlap.Find what you have in common and make it a point to do those things as a couple.Constant, continual learning is one of lifes great privileges, and married peopleshould always be learning, together. In addition to what you already had incommon, discovering hobbies and interests you both enjoy but neither of youenjoyed before you were married is especially fun and satisfying.

For you unmarried gals, learn new things about yourself. Try new activities. Donttie yourself down to one person before you can get married. Have guy friends,sure, but wait to date. Just enjoy having friends.

11. Keep a clean, tidy house.

This is a very basic point, but dont overlook it. Really, who wants to live in a dirty

house? Work as a team to keep your house tidy and clean.12. Cultivate a Servants Heart

Homemaking comprises of more than a clean house. It requires making a havenfor you family.

There must be a change of heart before there can be an adjustment in your action.

We must view our position as a homemaker for what it is: a high calling fromGod...As women, we have a God-given responsibility to create a home of love,peace, and beauty. Performing our household tasks is one of the ways we canglorify God, while at the same time blessing our family.

While its easy to say we need and want to have a heart of a servant, actuallylearning to put it into practice is a littler harder. The main reason having a humble

heart is difficult is because we are prideful and selfish. If we could learn to layaside our misconstrued ideas of entitlement we would be a whole lot happier.Ways to cultivate a servants heart:

a. Check Your Attitude.

A quick assessment of your heart needs to be done on a daily basis,sometimes several times a day. Determine if your attitude is pure andpleasing to the Lord.

Remember doing the right thing with the wrong motives or spirit is still sinful.


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b. Focus on the Truth

Meditating on Gods word will help re-direct your thoughts and keep yourattitude in check.

c. Pray for Help

Ask God to give you a heart for your home, a humble heart, and willingness

to put the other of your family ahead of your own. Draw on the strength thatonly comes from a relationship with God.

Seek to glorify God by allowing Him to take control of your heart and soul.13. Promote a peaceful atmosphere in your home

Peace is often lacking in our homes due to a number of physical, spiritual andemotional influences.

A peaceful home is not always quiet, but it should be void of strife and aconsiderable amount of disorder.

a. Clean and De-clutter.b. Clear the calendar.

We are too busy.

c. Establish Flexible Routines The key is to make them flexible enough to keep you from becoming

overwhelmed while at the same time motivating you to accomplish the tasksthat need to be done.

d. Plan and Prepare

Meal Planning.

What you and your children will wear the next day.

For the future.e. Pray for God to help you create a peaceful home.f. Determine House Rules

The neat thing about house rules are just that, they are OUR houses rules,

not yours, but ours.14. Ways to Encourage a Close Knit Family:

a. Cook and Eat Together

The family dinner table is not a relic of a bygone era. It is and essential elementof family fellowship, communication, and unity. It is one of the things that makesa house a home, a haven. Resist the temptation to eat out too often or atseparate times. Not only will you be healthier (if you could from scratch), butyou will spend bonding with the ones you love.

b. Pray Together

I know that early I talked about personal devotions and we need that, but dontsubstitute family devotions for personal, but also dont sacrifice family

devotions. Pray and study Gods word as a couple, as a family. It will guide you. It will

draw you closer. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.~Psalm 119:105

c. Play Togetherd. Read Together

Gods word. Family Devotions.e. Work Together


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Ive never seen our church family as happy as when we are all working togetherfor a common goal!

The Key is TOGETHER.15. Create a Sense of Beauty in Your Home

Our Heavenly Father created beautiful things. He gave us 5 senses to enjoy that

beauty with. Incorporate them in your home: Hearing:

Avoid raised voices when angry

Encourage your family with words of affirmation

Sing while you work

Say I love you every day

Sight:

Keep your house clean and uncluttered

Decorate your rooms

Decorate seasonally.

Smell:

Candles, Pottpori sachets for drawers.

Taste:

Bake cookies or special dessert

Cook a family favorite for dinner

Keep a bowl of fruit read for snacking

Touch:

Decorate with fluffy throw pillows

Keep soft blankets nearby

Buy the best sheets (you can afford!)

Hug your husband and children often

Snuggle on the couch as a family


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When Home Doesnt Feel Like a Haven:

I turn to Psalm 23

1 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.(want. want. want. Iwant)2. He maketh me to lie down(lie downif only I could lie down for

just 20 minutesif only if only if only) in green pastures; heleadeth me beside the still waters. (quiet. quiet.quietthis home isso loudtelevision, ipods, cell phones, chatter, I cant get a moment ofquiet here).

3. He restoreth my soul; (my soul. needs. restored. it hurts). Heleadeth me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. (I am soaloneI have no one who understandsif only I had someone to get

me out of this mess. mess. mess. Someone besides me pleaseclean up this mess!).4. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I

will fear no evil(what if. what if.what if. what if Im not enough?)for thou art with me(you are? why are you so silentGod?);thy rodand thy staff they comfort me. (comfort. who needs comfort. I am

strong. I will pick myself up and press on. I am not weak.)5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies,

thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.(overflows.

overflows.

overflows. Dirty dishes overflow, closets

overflow, my trash cans overflow, my laundry baskets overflow, my

calender overflowsif everything is so full why do I feel soempty?)


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6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my

life. (follow. follow.follow. I feel like difficulties, trials, disappointments, badrelationships and financial problems follow me goodness? love? follow me?)and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (put on fake smile. I

will dwell in the house of the Lord foreverBUTI want. I want. Iwant. if only. if only. if only. my soul hurts. mess.mess. mess. I am weak. no. I am strong. empty.empty. empty.)Do you hear the self talk? Do you hear what is happening between this womans

two ears?

She is saying rotten things to herself about her life, about the people in her life,about her circumstances, and even about God. And then she wonderswhy? dont? I? have? peace?The problem is not out there its inside of her.

Romans 12:2 says, Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.Do you want to see a change in your home? It starts in your mind.

Are you in a storm? Do you need help?

At the core I am empty, ugly, self-seeking, insecure, questioning myself to death

regularly even to the point of tears over fears and failures. I hurt. I struggle. Iwrestle. But then -I lift my eyes up to the maker of the heavens and the earth and thisworld pauses for just a moment and all my ugly thoughts and self talk are

washed away by his love, grace and peace.

Psalm 121:1 says, I lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh myhelp . My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.The storms do not disappear but seeing a glimpse of the sunshine that awaits me,

lifts me up when I am weak. He is strong. And so I rest. And he restores.

If you are discouraged I encourage you to get alone with Psalm 23 for 5minutes today.

The Lord is indeed your Shepherd and you shall not be in want. You must claim

these truths. Let him lead you by still watersare you thirsty? Sit still. Drink a

tall glass of his living word! Let him restore your soul. He is with you. He lovesyou. You will one day dwell in His house- His Haven forever.


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Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.~Proverbs 15:17

Introduction:

1. Play _______________ Christ honoring music.

2. Turn Your _______________ into a Cozy Sanctuary

3. Bring the ___________ Indoors

4. Promote Happiness with _______________

5. Bask in the ______________

6. Cleanse Your Space and ____________

7. _________ are you?

8. Whats all this ____________?


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9. Dont have a ____________ spirit towards your spouse.

10. Find and do things you enjoy, ______________.

11. Keep a __________, tidy house.

12. Cultivate a ______________ Heart

a. Check Your _________________

b. Focus on the _____________

c. Pray for ____________

13. Promote a __________________ atmosphere in your home

a. Clean and ___________________.

b. _____________ the calendar.

c. Establish _______________ Routines

d. Plan and _______________

Meal Planning.

What you and your children will wear the next day.

For the future.

e. ______________ for God to help you create a peaceful home.

f. Determine _____________ Rules

14. Ways to Encourage a Close Knit Family:

a. _____________ and Eat Together

b. __________ Together

c. ___________ Together

d. _______________ Together

e. _______________ Together

15. Create a Sense of _____________ in Your Home


10/11

When Home Doesnt Feel Like a Haven:

I turn to Psalm 23

1 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.(want. want. want. Iwant)2. He maketh me to lie down(lie downif only I could lie down for

just 20 minutesif only if only if only) in green pastures; heleadeth me beside the still waters. (quiet. quiet.quietthis home isso loudtelevision, ipods, cell phones, chatter, I cant get a moment ofquiet here).

3. He restoreth my soul; (my soul. needs. restored. it hurts). Heleadeth me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. (I am soaloneI have no one who understandsif only I had someone to get

me out of this mess. mess. mess. Someone besides me pleaseclean up this mess!).4. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I

will fear no evil(what if. what if.what if. what if Im not enough?)for thou art with me(you are? why are you so silentGod?);thy rodand thy staff they comfort me. (comfort. who needs comfort. I am

strong. I will pick myself up and press on. I am not weak.)5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies,

thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.(overflows.

overflows.

overflows. Dirty dishes overflow, closets

overflow, my trash cans overflow, my laundry baskets overflow, my

calender overflowsif everything is so full why do I feel soempty?)


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6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my

life. (follow. follow.follow. I feel like difficulties, trials, disappointments, badrelationships and financial problems follow me goodness? love? follow me?)and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (put on fake smile. I

will dwell in the house of the Lord foreverBUTI want. I want. Iwant. if only. if only. if only. my soul hurts. mess.mess. mess. I am weak. no. I am strong. empty.empty. empty.)Do you hear the self talk? Do you hear what is happening between this womans

two ears?

She is saying rotten things to herself about her life, about the people in her life,about her circumstances, and even about God. And then she wonderswhy? dont? I? have? peace?The problem is not out there its inside of her.

Romans 12:2 says, Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.Do you want to see a change in your home? It starts in your mind.

Are you in a storm? Do you need help?

At the core I am empty, ugly, self-seeking, insecure, questioning myself to death

regularly even to the point of tears over fears and failures. I hurt. I struggle. Iwrestle. But then -I lift my eyes up to the maker of the heavens and the earth and thisworld pauses for just a moment and all my ugly thoughts and self talk are

washed away by his love, grace and peace.

Psalm 121:1 says, I lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh myhelp . My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.The storms do not disappear but seeing a glimpse of the sunshine that awaits me,

lifts me up when I am weak. He is strong. And so I rest. And he restores.

If you are discouraged I encourage you to get alone with Psalm 23 for 5minutes today.

The Lord is indeed your Shepherd and you shall not be in want. You must claim

these truths. Let him lead you by still watersare you thirsty? Sit still. Drink a

tall glass of his living word! Let him restore your soul. He is with you. He lovesyou. You will one day dwell in His house- His Haven forever.

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SS - HOME Building - E PDF