Spring 2013 Literary Magazine

Hanover Literary Magazine

Spring 2013

P a g e | 2 www.hanoverlitmag.com

Table of Contents

Introduction page 3 Ambition Alongside Expectation page 3 A Question About Time page 4 The Fall of Superman page 5 Swing page 7 Picturesque page 8 A Second page 8 Beautiful Ashes page 9 Boy in the Mirror page 9 Who Am I? page 10 The Pax Humana page 11 American Violence page 12 Friends page 13 My Enemy page 13 Suicide By Time Paradox page 14 Originality page 18 The Wind page 19 Up Goes the Flag page 19 The Doctor page 20 Blink page 23 Lean On Me page 24 Acknowledgements page 25


Introduction The Wolfs Den

Hellofriends;actually,perhapsitistooearlytolabelusfriends.Ourjourneytogetherhasjustbegun,afterall.Oncethejourneyhassafelycommencedandthetwoofusarewalkingalongthisroadtogether,thenImaygiveyouthetitleoffriend.Fornow,though,Iwouldliketocallyoumyacquaintance,whichwouldrequireanintroduction.

Greetings,IamWolfactually,letskeepmylastnameasecret.YoucancallmeTheWolf,fornow.Iamthecreatorofthissitewhichyouinformallyrefertoasthelitmag.Now,youareprobablyquestioningthevalidityofmyprose,asyouhavecometoacceptJoeyDeFerrari,DavidRaab,andChrisGreeleyasyourleaders.Relax,mynewacquaintance,theyhavegonenowhere.Iamjustrevealingthattheyaremerelytitularheads.Ioperatequietlyinthebackground,actingastheenginethatrunsthisentireoperation.

Iamthefirsttoadmitthatthisfirsteditionwashastilythrowntogether,becauseIwantedtomeetyoubytheendoftheyear.However,Ibelievethatthequalityofwhatlieshereinmaypleasantlysurpriseyou.Therearemany,manytalentedwriterswhocontributetothemagazine,andanyonemayjointhesiteatwww.hanoverlitmag.comandsubmitanythingandeverything.However,noneoftheselaypeoplehaveorwilllearnmyidentity.OnlythethreepeoplementionedearlierknowwhoIam.Perhapsyouwilleventuallyjointhiselitecircle.Iwouldliketothinkso.Fornow,enjoythestories,submityourowncontent,andstayoutoftheden.

Moresoon,TheWolf

Ambition Alongside Expectation

Thereissomethingoddabouttheartofambition,howtheworldyells,Youcantdoit!butyoudoitanyway.Thesameworldthatshrieksofdiscouragementhasproventhatmentalitysoarsfarabovethefeasible.Eventheimpossibleseemsreasonable.Wouldntitbenicetobelievethatthepositiveconquersthenegative;ifanything,surrendertotheillusionforjustalittlewhile?Thereissomethingoddabouttheartofexpectation,howtheimageinyourmindisamasterpiece,butrealitybringsforthaclusteredpainting.Youarealmostconvincedthatbenevolencetriumphsovermalevolence.Butthebarwassettoohighanddestroysthetruthyouthoughtyouknew.Thereissomethingoddaboutthefactthatthetwoexist,inthesameworld,atthesametime,andcoincide

accompaniedbycontradiction.Theyarenotcompleteopposites.However,itisasifambitionmocksfailure,andexpectationscoffssuccess.Yet,itishumannaturetoacceptthemboth.Andmostsurprisingly,wedosowithoutquestion.

Emilia Ravn-Boess


A Question About TimeShepromisedherselfshewouldstoptime.Shedidntactuallycarehowlongittookher,

forintheenditdidnotmatter.Iftimewasstopped,thentimewasstopped.Andwell,thentimenolongermattered.

Sherealizedatoncethiswasagreaterchallenge.Hoursweredifficulttodelay,aswereminutes,

andseconds,progressivelyso.Sheconcentratedbeyondconcentration,

Butfoundthatshecouldnotgettimetoslow.

Well,ifithadnothingtodowithpatience,andnothingtodowithfocus,

howwasshesupposedtoconjuretheremedyforpassingtime?

Sheknewthatmanmadetime,andintimemanshouldbeabletodestroywhathehasmade.

Shemustbemisunderstandingtheconcept,Theideaofhasteningmoments,thedesignof

time.Maybeshewasworkingbackwards,againstthe

comprehensible.Maybetimeisnotamendableconceptatall,

Butalabelforanunexplainablehaste.Andhastecanonlybeslowedinparadox.

Withthisthought,shestopped.

Shedeemeditimpossible.Shestitchedthewhiteflagandgreeteddefeat.Shelookedattheclockhunguponthewall

andthought, Well,Imustbewastingmytime.

Ihaveoftenfoundthattheconceptoftimecannotbeproperlyunderstood,mainlybecauseitcannotbedefinedbytrulycomprehendiblematters.Isupposeitisdefinedbythepassingofonemomenttothenext,butatthesametime,youaskyourself,howlongisamoment?TheonlytruewaytodefinethelengthofamomentisbyrecognizingsomeincrementoftimeAndsowe

arebroughtbacktothebeginningoftheneverendingcycledeterminedbyalackofcomprehension.

Ithasalwaysbewilderedmethattimeiscreatedbyman,yetmancannotcontrolit.Mancannotslowit,mancannothastenit,andmanmostdefinitelycannotstopit.Manhascreatedtheconceptofasecond,aminute,anhour,aday,aweek,amonth,ayear.Ithasbecomesoengraveduponeverydaythatmanisincapableofreversingitscreation.Imagineaworldwithouttime.Itisarguablethatlifewouldcontinueunalteredandunaffectedbysuchelimination.Thisrelatessolelytothetimelineformatthattimeisassumedtoretain.Itcanbearguedthatthisformatexistsonlybecausemanhascreatedtheconceptofpast,present,andfuture.Thisargumentcan,inturn,proposethesameideathatKurtVonnegutsuggests,thatalltimeexistssimultaneously.However,thissameargumentcanalsoberidiculedanddeterminedasmatterfarbeyondourrationallydevelopedworld.

Forthisreason,Ibelievethattimecannotbefullyunderstood.Somemaybelievetheyhavetheconceptmastered,butIbelievethatmankindisvictimtotime,andcannotfullycomprehendsomethingthatliesfaraboveusall.Timeisaconceptthatreachesfarbeyondthethreedimensionalrealityanddwellssomewherebeyondtheintellectuallytangible.

Emilia Ravn-Boess


The Fall of Superman

***this is a piece of fan fiction based on The Catcher in the Rye.*** ChandlerisntnearlyasbadassomeoftheotherschoolsIveattended.Itsnotliketherearenophonies;IdontthinkIllevercompletelyfreemyselffromthem.Chandlerattheveryleasthasatolerableamount,soitsnottoobad.Itsnotbadatall,really.Actually,therearesomeprettynicekidshere.Take,forinstance,thisonekid,Zachactually,noonecallshimZach.WecallhimSuperman.Hesthisseniorwhossixandahalffeettallandmuscularashell.Whenhegraduatesthisyear,hellbegoingtoplayfootball,maybeintheNFL,maybeincollege.Hesnotreallysureyet,butthatNFLmoneyseemstemptingtohim,andhesnotexactlydreadingmissingcollege.Alotofkidswanttogoplayincollegeforawhile,butyoucanseethatSupermanwantstoplaywiththebigboys,ashesays.ItremindsmeofAllieinaway,howhewantedtofacetheworldwithouttrainingwheels.Take,forinstance,whenSupermanandI,alongwithtwoofourotherfriends,MarcandRudy,werehangingoutinthewoods.Therewasthisriverabouttenfeetwidecuttingacrosswherethereusedtobeabridge.Thewaterwasabouteightfeetdeep,anditmovedprettyquickly,thoughIcouldntgiveyouanaccuratefigureofthespeed.Therewasntreallyanythingtograbontoonthesides,noshrubberyoranything,andthebanksweretoosandy.Plus,therewerethesewatersnakesthatwentinfrontofuseveryonceinawhile.Now,whatwedidwasbecauseweobviouslywerentgoingtoswimacrosswesetupthisrampatbothedgesofthewater.Whenwewereridingourbikes,wedusetheramptojumpacross.Itwasreallyintendedmoreforamusementthananything(itsnotliketherewasmuchontheothersideoftheriver),butwecouldntseemtoamuseourselves.MarcandRudyweretooscaredatfirsttogoacross.Iwasntafraidoranythinglikethat,Ijustdidntwantto

riskgettingmybikerustyifIfellin.ItwasthisexpensiveonemymomgavemeforChristmaswhenIwassick,andIdidntwanttodisappointheragainbyruiningit;plus,thatbikewasabeauty.Itreallywas.So,anyway,Supermanwasntafraidtojumpit.Hell,withhisathleticism,hecleareditwithayardtospare.Sotoday,Supermantakeshisbikeafterclearingthejumpfivetimesinarow,andhegoesofftheramp.Thistime,though,hedoesntclearit.Supermanfallsrightintothemiddleoftheriver.Ofcourse,RudyandMarcstartscreaming.Goddammit,evenIwasnervous;butSupermanchuckshisbikeontotheriverbank,thenheswimsagainstthecurrenttowhereweare,andhesomehowpullshimselfup.Itwasincredibletowatchthiskidatwork.Heyguys,hesayswithagrinashespullinghimselfup.Whathappened?Iaskedhim.Younevermissthatjump.Oh,IguessIjustmisseditthistime.Idontknow.MaybeIlostmygriporsomething.Hegaveusthateasy,celebritysmile,andweletitgo.Thatkidwasgoingtomakeahelluvastaroneday.Hereallywas.Now,comeon,Ineedtogetbackandprepareforthegame.Sohewentbacktohisroomtoprepare,andtheguysandIheadedtothestadium.First,though,wealltookacoupleofjumpsoffthoseramps.WedidntclearthembyayardlikeSuperman,butwedidclearthemeverytime,withoutfail.SoMarc,RudyandIaresittinginthestadium.Wedidnthavemuchtotalkabout,really,sothatoldquestionpoppedintomyhead.Say,Marc,Ibegin.Doyouknowwheretheducksgointhewinter?


Whatducks?heasks,withalookofangryconfusiononhisface.Youknow,thoseducksthatliveintheCentralParkLagoon.Ipaused.Itsjust,whenIwalkedbythereearlier,Inoticedthattheduckswerestillthere,andIknowthelakeisntfrozenmuch,butstill,thoseducksusuallyarentaroundthistimeofyear.Imnotreallyusedtoseeingthemnow,isall.Holden,Idontknowwhatthehellducksyouretalkingabout.Justwatchthegame,willyou?JesusChrist.Iwasntdone.IdontthinkofthemasmuchasIusedto;alittlelesseveryday,infact.Itsjust,Istilldo,everyonceinawhile,youknow?Itsthatkindofthingthatstickstoyourbrainevenwhenyouredonethinkingaboutit.Jesus,Holden!Justwatchthegoddamnedgame!Ididntreallyblamehimforrejectingmelikethat;notreally,anyway.Ihavetoadmit,though,Istewedforalittlewhile.Luckily,thefootballteamjoggedoutontothefieldjustintimetobreakmyconcentration,orelseImightveendedmyfriendshipwithMarc.Anyway,Itookaleakduringthepregamefestivities,andcamebackintimeforthekickoff.Supermanwashisusualselfduringthegame.Heplayedwidereceiver,andcaught3passesinthefirstfourminutes.Astheylinedupagainforasecondandten,atwingecameacrosshisface.Itseemedtopass,butthenitcameback,andheclutchedathischest.Then,hewentdown.Thequarterbackcontinuedcallingtheplayforamoment,butsoonhisfaceturnedtowardsthekidontheground.Eventually,allplayersonbothteamswerelooking,andsoonCoachRandolphrushedontothefield.Stepback,allofyou!hebarked.Givehimsomespace!

Ijumpedoutofmyseatandrandown,buttwotrainersheldmeback.Youcantgodownthere,kid!Stayhere!Istoodthereasmybreathgrewincreasinglyheavy,andIwatchedsweatdropfromRandolphsbrowashecontinuedthetreatments.Thefacesofthemenandwomenintheaudienceweresullen,ofcourse,buttheydidnotrivalthoseofthestudents.Thiswasoneoftheirown,afterall.Itdefiedeverythingintheirheadsandbrokeanunyieldingsotheythoughtruleoftheuniverse.Theambulancerushedquicklyontothescene,ignoringtheplayersonthefield.Astheyloadedhimin,IdidntknowthatitwouldbethelasttimeIsawhim,butIwasfairlycertain.ThelookonRandolphsfaceandinhiseyesdidapoorjobofhidingthedisparityofthesituation.Iveseenthatlookinmymotherseyes,aswell.Mygradesstartedtodropabitaftertheincident,andmyteachersagainnoticedmylackofcare.Honestly,itwasbecauseofthephonywaytheygrievedforhim;thestudents,too.Theyallcriedandtalkedabouthowitfeltliketheylostaclosefriend.Iactuallydid.Noneofthosepeopleknewhimatall.Theywentonandonabouthowgreatanathletehewas;Theydidnttalkatallabouthiscarefreesmile,orhowhewasnevermeantoanyone,oraboutthedivehetookinthewoods;and,Iwillsaythis:Iveneveragainjumpedoffthatramp.MarcandRudyhavent,either.Wevebeenoutacoupletimes,butwejustwindupstaringatthatgoddamnedriver.Forsomereason,itsmoreintimidatingnow.Icantreallyexplainit.WhenSupermanfalls,therestoftheworldlivesinfearofKryptonite.

Joseph DeFerrari


SwingTheringinginmyearsisback.Italways

comesbackinthespring.Itsnotbecauseofthecheersandjeersfromthecrowd;Iveneverheardtheringingwhileontheice.Itshere,athomeplate,wheretheringingisworst.Hisfingersgripthefence,hisknucklesturnwhite,hisneckandfaceareredfromshouting.Theyrealmostalwaysred.

Comeon,Hamilton!Yourethrowingthegame!Quitswinginglikeagirlandplayballlikeaman!

Istareatmyfeet.Deepbreaths,likemymomtaughtme.Twostrikesalready.Iraisemyheadtolookatthepitcherandtrytogetabettergriponthebat.Henodstothecatcherbehindme.Mypalmsareslippingagain.TheballleaveshismittandIflinch.

Ballone!Comeon!Youcouldvegotthat!Whats

wrongwithyou,Hamilton?Quitcheckingoutthepitcherandswing!

Istareatmyfeet.Ithinkthepitcherislookingdowntoo.Deepbreaths.Myhandsareshaking.

Heyump!Givemeaminutewiththekid.Outthecornerofmyeye,theumpirenodsandgoesbacktolookingathisphone.Idontturntofacehimashewalksrightuptome.Listenhere,youlittlechickenshit,lifeisntgoingtobendoverbackwardstoletpussieslikeyoutakebasesuntilyouwin.Hesighs.Youvegottomanupandgrablifebytheballs.Cryingtoyourmommawonthelp.Youmiss100%ofthetimesyoudontswing,yaddayaddayadda,soswing!Myearsareringing.

Ihaventtakenmyeyesoffthepitchersmitt.Hisfootstepsgetfartheraway,butnotbackbehindthefence.Iglancetomyleft.Hesthere,drillingholesintomewithhiseyes.Theumpirehasntlookedup.Thepitchernodsandgetsready.Myhandswontstopshaking.TheballspeedstowardsmeandIhearhimyell.SWING!

Iclosemyeyes.Iswing.

Ihaventopenedmyeyesyet.Thefieldissilent,exceptfortwosounds.Theringingisinmyears,andtomyleft,theresastranglednoise.Iopenmyeyestoseehimonhisknees,onehandonhisthroat.Heisntredanymore.Hesturningblue.Someonescreams.Theumpirefumbleswithhisphone,butmanagestodial911.Everyoneisjuststaring.

3minutes,26seconds.Anambulancearriveswiththepolice.IcatchaglimpseofhimonthestretcherasImputintothebackseatofthecar.Icantbringmyselftolookatmymom.Istareatmyfeet;thesirensandtheringingfillmyears.Imstillwaitinginthelittleroomwiththeonechair,theonetable.Ihaventevengottentochangeoutofmyuniform.Deepbreaths.Itsnotworking.Myhandsarestillshaking.Icantlookatthem.IthinkaboutwhatIshoulddobeforeImlockedupforever.Saygoodbyetomymom.SayImsorrytohiswife.Doeshehaveawife?Didhe?Icanhearhimyellingatme;thisistheloudesttheringinginmyearshaseverbeen.

Howthehellcouldyouhitafoulball,Hamilton?Whatareyou,retarded,Hamilton?Wimpslikeyoumakemesick,Hamilton!Itsfaggotslikeyouthatarewhatswrongwiththiscountry,Hamilton!Hamilton

Hamilton?Inearlyjumpoutofmyseat.Yourefreetogo.Istareathim.Outside,inthelobby,Imsurprisedbyhowmanypeoplethereare.Alltheotherkidsonmyteam,theirparents,somekidsfromtheotherteam.Mymom.Iruntoherandhugher.Imshaking.Istarttocry.Idontcare.

Itsspring.Itsanewyear,andwehaveanewcoach.Wejusthadourfirstgameoftheseason.Welost,5tonothing.AtleastIswung.Itakeadeepbreathofthecrispspringair.Myearsarentringing.Notasbad,anyway.

IthinkImlookingforwardto7thgrade Jefferson Tran


Picturesque Joey DeFerrari

Thesunsraysilluminateherface,Brighteningthedarknessunderhereyesandheatinghertepidcore.Alightbreezelovinglypushesthehairfromherface,Andthoughthecliffisquitehigh,shefindsherselfuninterested.Shearrivedwithapurpose,butsomethingaboutthescenedistractsherfromthetaskathand.Perhaps,sheconsiders,thegravityofthedeedfrightensherintoastateoftrepidation;No,shehasreplayedthesituationnumeroustimesinherhead,Andneverhasshefeltremorse,fear,oranydesiretoundotheaction.Perhapshersubconsciousisnitpickingthenoteinherpocket;No,sheknowsthatthedetailsareinconsequentialatbest.Whathappensinthisworldaftershedepartsitisoflittleconcerntoher.Whattrulyistherootofherdisinterest,sheknows,isthelandscape.Thehorizonofherdreamsisbeautifullypicturesque,Withasettingsunandafieldofgrassandflowers,Buttherealisticoneisjustbarren.Thereisnolife,nobeauty,nowarmth,justnothingness.Itisnotveiled,proudlyboastingitsemptinessinstead.Sheclutchesthegroundwithherfeet,allowingthesandtoflowbetweenhertoes,andpayingspecialattentiontothegrainyfeelingthatitcreates.Shesmiles.Theactionisntworththesand.

A Second Jackie DeFerrari

Courage

Itonlytakesasecond

EverythingIvedoneright,

EverythingIvefeltproudof

Didnttakecarefulpondering,

Itdidnttakeplanning

IthappenedwhenIleastexpectedit

WhenIdidntplanandIdidntthink

Theytellyoutolookbeforeyoujump

Butthatonlyholdsyouback

Itisntworththewait

Everythingworthwritingabout

Hashappenedinasecond


Beautiful Ashes Marijke Fulton

Thegraycloudsinthesky,growingeverdarker,seemedtomirrorhowIfeltinside.Overcast,overbearing,ominous,dimTreesinthedistanceswayedslightlyfromthewind,dancingtheirlonelywaltzinunison.Thegroundwasthick,dry,andcold;deadplantswerescatteredacrosstheflat,plainland.Smallpatchesofgrasshadmadeapitifulattempttoshowtheirloveoflife,buttheytoowitheredinthewind.Thelandhadnotbeenfertileforyears.Itwasabarrenwastelandofcouldbesandneverweres.Nothingcouldlivethere,couldflourish.Athick,dankmistdescendedupontheground,ensconcingeverythingIcouldoncesee.Themistsmelledofrottenthings,andhadthestankofdeathemanatingfromitsdepths.Itriedtosmiletomyself,andrememberthesunnierdays,thehappytimes,butIcouldnt.ThecloudsandlandandairwerewhatIworeonmyface.Pain.Regret.Bleakness.Sadness.Aneeriestillness.Andfinally,adownpourofrainbegantofall.Ateardrop.Thesaltydreamsthatnevercametruedroppedfrommyeyes,tomycheeks,tomylips,tomychin,andtotheground.Theylandedwithareverberatingcrash,asifatsunamihadlovinglythreatenedtomutilatethelineofaninnocentseashore.Therainstillfell.Andsodidthetears.Untilsilently,liketherain,theyslowed,stopped,anddried.Thesunnevercameoutthatday.

Boy In The Mirror Angela Mirisola

Thesalty,warmliquidmovesinanunevenlinedownhisface.Hestaresathimselfthroughthesmudgedmirror,steamingfromthewarmthinhisbreath.Staringbackathimisnotaman,butaboy.Aboywithsunkenredeyes,Aboywhoslipscurlatbothends,pulledbygravitytowardsthefloor.Aboywholethimselffall.Aboywholooksdefeated.Hestaresintotheemptyeyesoftheboyinthemirror,Partsthosecurledlips,andtellshimyouarestrong.Andforthefirsttimeallday,Thelipsoftheboyinthemirrorpartandcurlshowinghisteeth,Andallow,inplaceofthefrown,acrookedsmilethatstopshisburningtears.Becauseheknowsthatthisisnttheend.Iamstrong.Hesays,Andforthefirsttime,hetrulybelievesit.


Who am I? Hellothere.IampleasedtosaythatIhavehadtheinformalprivilegeofmeetingyou,asmostofyouhaveexperiencedmyworkmanytimesbefore.Ifearthough,thatyouarenotaspleasedtohavemetme.Yousee,Iamasaparasitetoitshost.NopersononthisEarthknows,orwilleverknowhowIgothere.Itissuchinformationthatistoopersonalformetosharewithyou,dearreader.Now,comparemyselfagaintoaparasite,whichismoreorlesswhatiam,asidefromthefactthatyouwillnevertouch,feel,norseeme.Youcanhoweverfeel,see,hear,touch,ortastewhatIdotoyou.Icanmostcertainlysayaswellthatyouwillfearme.Ilaydormantforsolong,waitingcountless,endlesshoursuntilIcananimatemyselfinsideyou.Unlikeaparasite,whichcanbecuredandcontrolled,Iambornwithyou,andIwilldiewithyou.Iampersistentinmakingyoudothingsyoudontwanttodo.Imakeyousaythingsthatinarightstateofmind,youwouldneversay.Iattackyouwithonegoal,beingtodestroyeverythingthatyouareandwillbe,butnotwithoutfirstinflictingyouwithsomuchinternalpainthatitisawonderyoucaretocarryon.Astheequivalenttoaparasite,youcanexpectmetofocusononeormultipleareasofyourbodyatatime,physicallyandmentally.Iaminyourbrain,andinyourheart,always.OfthosethatIinhabit,theirlifeisnothingmore,thanfullofwantsandshouldhavebeens,Idominatetheirsoul.Istimulateyoursenses,sothateverytendertouch,islikeasixteenwheelertruckonfire,burningandcrushingyourbones.Youreyeswillburnintheirsocketswhileyouarereducedtotears.Thesweetsoundoflovewillneverpassyourlips,andyourearswillnolongerrecognizethehappywordsoflife.Yourmindwillbereducedtomadnesswithmyvoiceringinginyourears;YourworthlessImaywhisper,sothatonlyyoucanhear,andyourmindwilltellyounonsense,towhichyouwilladhere.SometimesIcanbesweet,andcallyoutomyside,andbeingmysubconsciouslyservilefollower,youwillchoosetobenumbbecausethesilenceissweettohear.Desiredbytheweary,Iluretheminwithfear.Feartheymaynotsurvive,withoutthenumbingpricklesI

amabletoprovide.ButIamreallytakingyoudeeperinthedarknessthatIam,crushingandshatteringallyourofyourwantsdreams.Thepersonthatyouwerewillhavebeencrushedbynow,allyourmotivesgone.Justlikewhenaparasitestealsyoursight,afterattackingthattenderpartinyourbrain.Alltheantibioticsintheworldwillnotbringitback,justasIhavekeptthepersonyouusedtobehiddenfromyou.Didyoucommitthiscrime?No,butyouwillstillblameyourself.Thatsthebeautyofbeinganundiagnosedhell.SowhoamI,youwonder?Well,rathernotwho,butwhatorhow?Somepeoplecallmesadness,comepeoplecallmefear.Somepeoplecallmedemon,butIfeartheyallarewrong.Youseedearreader,Iamyouandyouareme.Iamyourmother,sister,brother,cousin,friend,andneighbor.Iamyou,foreverwithyou,andyoucantescapemeitsthetruth.Sogoodbye,dearfriend,untilnexttime.Icanhavethepleasureofseeingyouagain.Illseeyouinthatdarkness,thatdoesnthaveanend.

Angela Mirisola


The Pax Humana Robert Clarke

Towardstheendofthe20thCenturyandcontinuingintotheearly21st,humanityisstrickenbyafrighteningandominoustrend.Humanityisspendingmoreandmoretimeinfrontofscreens,infrontofavirtualreality,slowlybutsurelydisassociatingitselffromtherealone.Thislotuseatingreality,foretoldmanymillenniaagobyHomer,isseductiveandinstantlygratifyingtoallthosesuckedinbyitsevermoreubiquitousallure.Peopletakeonavatars,personasinvast,immaterialrealms,theirrealselvesnevertobeheardfromagain,oftentimes.Humanityisintheprocessofamassmigrationfromaworldthatisrealtoonethatisideal,transcendingontonew,artificialparadigmsincyberspace,amassmigrationrestrictedonlybyreality,billstopay,ourmortalbodies.Thesingularityisnear,anditspackedwithfundamentaldesignflawsthatwilldoomallhumankind.

Thisemptyparadigmshiftwasinitiatedbytelevisioninthemid20thcentury.Unlikeradio,televisionrequiredonesfullattentionforthefullexperience.Beforeanageofsmartphonesandhalfheartedmultitasking,asingletelevisionoccupiedafixedspotinthelivingroom,tobeviewedfromcouchesandchairsbynuclearfamiliesatdesignatedtimes.Ahousewifecouldnotcookandwatchtelevisionatthesametime,lestsheneglectpreparationoffeedforherkinder,nomatterhowbadshewantedtoinordertocatchthelatestpremiereof TheEdgeofNight. No, backinthegoodolddaysofraceriotsandunreportedrape,televisionservedasimplepurpose:toplanttheseedsofnormalizationfordissociative,sedentarylifestyles.Thosemomentsinlife,whateverensuingfamilydramaawaitedareturningplantworkerwerereplicatedinandreplacedbylateeveningsitcomsabouttheensuingfamilydramaawaitingareturningplantworker.Andthusbegantheshiftofhumanityfromtheroleofanactiveparticipantinreallifetothatofapassive,mindlessviewerofatwistedrealityresemblingourownasasortofsirenssong,analluringfacadeheraldingshipwrecks.LorraineBaines:Itsourfirsttelevisionset.Dadjustpickedituptoday.Doyouhaveatelevision?MartyMcFly:Well,yeah.Youknowwehavetwoofthem.MiltonBaines:Wow!Youmustberich.StellaBaines:Oh,honey,hesteasingyou.Nobodyhastwotelevisionsets.BacktotheFuture(1985)

Overtheyears,thisdarkseedofanewnormalbegantosproutfurther,higher,withsocalledadvancesintechnology.Thankstoglobalizationandcheapoverseaslabor,televisionsetsbecamecheapenoughandlightenoughforanyfamilytoownmorethanoneof.Televisionwasnolongerevenafamilygathering,butanindividualizedimmersionexperienceintheprivacyofonesownroom.Agenerationthatgrewupviewingtelevisionratherthanplayingoutsidewastotallyfinewiththeirchildrenbeingtreatedtoallmannerofelectronicluxuries,eachincreasingindisassociation,depravity,addictivity.Inthissense,televisionfunctionedasagatewaydrug.FromcabletelevisiontotheNintendoEntertainmentSystemtotheiPhone,eachgenerationfromthegreatestgenerationonwardsisfurtherdegenerated,moresubmissivetoadarkmessiahmaserquadingasprogress,thatvagueangeloflightthatknowsnoboundaries,nomorals.

Thatwhichisrealisnolongerofprimeimportance.Theaforementionedcheapoverseaslabor(camps)havecreatedalaughableserviceeconomyintheWesternWorld.Theplantworkersgrandchildrennowturntobuyfakeitemswithrealmoneyin TheSimsSocial ontheirChinesemanufacturediPhonesasanescapefromlongtermunemploymentandcripplingstudentdebtsinanagewhereaBachelorsisthenewhighschooldiploma,bracingforyetanothereconomiccrashbroughtonbyWallStreettraderswhodealinabstractandesotericdarkarts.Sedentarylifestylesandpoornutritionhavebecomesocommonplacethatthepoorestareironicallythefattest.WalkintoanyWalmartandwitnessthemorbidlyobesedowntroddenridingaroundonsubsidizedscooters,usingtheirEBTcardstoshopforfoodloadedwithhighfructosecornsyrupandothercheapfiller,devoidofnutrients.Inmanyplaces,liquidcandy


(colloquiallyreferredtoassoda)ischeaperthanwater.AddatabletandnoisecancellingheadphonestothissadsituationandseethatthefutureofmygenerationwasforetoldexactlybyWALLE, agoodmovietowatchifyouwantagoodvisualization.

Inspiteofoptimisticpredictionsbytranshumanists,mosthumanswillliveshorter,ratherthanlongerlivesafterthesingularityduetorampantpoverty,poornutrition,pooraccesstohealthcare,andovercrowdedhospitalsunabletotreattheinfluxoffatblobswithdiabeetus.Onlythe1%willbeabletoaffordallthelatestcyberpunkaugmentationsandimmortalitytreatmentsastoensuretheywillalwaysruleoveraclassoffat,entitled,apatheticmoochersandliabilities.Inspiteofthis,theworldwillbecomemoremeritocratic,asaccesstothe1%wouldbeassimpleasgoingoutsideanddoingsomethingvaguelyproductivewhiletherestoftheworldcomplainsandorganizesvastOccupyWallStreetprotestsoverFacebook.Ofcourse,nobodywouldactuallygothroughthehassleofleavingtheirWalmartcateredSection8unitsandbussingtofinancialdistrictsforsomekindofgrandmarch.No,therebelsofthefuturewouldallchangetheirFacebookprofilepicturetosomeDownwiththe1%!imagemacroinamassgestureofconformityandcallthatactivism,asbythatpoint,therealworldwouldbeallbutforgottenbythemasses.

AllittakesisoneredpilltounplugfromtheMatrix,apillthatshallbecomewillfullyshunned,banned,lefttocirculateonblackmarketsasthecitizensofvirtualworldslivemiserablelivesofinstantgratificationandstuntedsocialinteractionlackingallessential,nonverbalnuances.Eventually,the1%willfindwaystoinnovate,tomakethedregsuseful,andonthebacksofslavelabor,theworldwillbecomeaparadisetoallthoseenlightened.Thus,humanityshallruleoverinhumanityformorethan1,000years.

American Violence David Raab

Inlightofrecentevents,thisquestionhastobeasked.WherehasAmericansocietygonewrong?Ourviewstowardviolenceandthekillingofpeoplearewayoffbase.ItalmostseemsasifAmericanculturepromotesviolence.Toprovethis,onedoesnothavetolookfartherthantherecentactsofthemassviolencewithinthepastsixmonths.Therearetwoeventsthatshouldcometoeveryonesmind:theBostonMarathonbombingandtheshootinginNewtown,Connecticut.ThesetwonationallybroadcastedandfollowedtragediesoughttorevealsomethingaboutsomethingabouttheAmericanculturallexicontowardviolence.

First,itempiricallyprovessomethingthatmostpeoplehavecometobelieve.ThisisthefactthatmostAmericansseemtoseemtobelievethattheseeventsprovide entertainment.Afterall,thissocalledentertainmentdatesallthewaybacktotheRomanEmpire.Thegladiatorshowsservedasasortofdiversionforthepeopleatlarge.Thediversionwasthesavageslaughteroffellowhumanbeings.Today,insteadofpeoplegatheringinastadiumtowatchtheslaughtertakeplace,theycanseeitbysimplyturningtheirtelevisions.Ineffect,thetelevisionservesasthemoderndayRomanColosseum.Almosteveryday,itseemsasifthelocalmediawillcoveranothermurderstory.Thenewsmediavoluntarilysparesnodetailsintheirreports.Whenpeopleturnonthetelevision,theyaremadetofeelasiftheywitnessedthemurderitself.

Secondandlastly,thisbringsupagoodpointabouthowmuchmassmediahaschangedourviewsonviolenceandonothersocietalills.Massmediaalwayspreventsthecynicalviewthatpeoplealwaysdowrongintheworld.Thisisbecausebadnewsencouragespeopletowatchthenightlynews.Themassmediaonlyshowswhatpeopletowanthearbecauseitlivesoffofadvertising money.Thatisright,meremoney,isthewhatthemediaoperate(not concernforfellowhumanbeings).Forthatmatter,thefactthatpeoplearesocompelledtowatchcynicalnewsisanotherindicationofAmericanattitudestowardviolence.ItonlyprovesthatAmericans,byandlarge,consideractsofviolencetobeentertaining.Thisiseveniftheydonotadmittoit.


Friends Katie Rogier

Wherewouldwebeintheworldwithoutourfriends?Theyarealwaysthereforyou,notmatterwhat.Theyhelpyououtwhenthingsgettough.Theystickbyyouthroughthickandthin.Theynevergiveuponyou.Therearemanydifferentkindsoffriends.Thereareyourbestfriends,withwhomyoucanalwaystrustwithanything.Thereareyourteammates,withwhomyouworktogethertowinthegame.Thereareyourschoolmates,whohelpyousurviveeachandeveryschoolday.Andthereareyourboyfriendsandgirlfriends,whomyoulovewithallyourheart.Wewouldallbelostwithoutourfriends.Theydosomuchforus,morethanwethink.Ifyoueverneedhelp,theywillbethere.Yourfriendswillnevergiveuponyou.Andyouwillnevergiveuponthem.Yourfriendsarepeopleyoucanalwaysdependon.Youtellthemyoursecrets;youtellthemyourtroubles.Theyareyoursecondfamily.Theygiveyougreatadvicewhenyouneedit.Theyarealwaystheretolisten,nomatterwhat.

My Enemy Anonymous

Theflame,itburnsAndscorchesthesky.Andtearsaregone,Icannotcry.Butsometimes,IwishIcould.Clearmyhead,Itreallywould.

Myfathersgone,Mymother,too.Theyvetakenall,Whocannotdo.TheirworkTheirlaborWhostobe,Oursavior?WeneedtoleaveThishellishplace,Beforeweall,Aredrawnfromgrace.Imgrowingthin,Andweakandweary,Wenevereat,Werejoicenary.Butnowhecomes,Totakemeaway,BeforeIhadTimetopray.ButwhyShouldIGiveinTothy,Whorejected,Andneglected,Mycry?Whileweweredying,Weleft.WhenwewereweepingHecrept,TomeMyenemyNowIleave,ThisawfulcampBurnedbythem,Likeoillamp.


Suicide by Time Paradox Robert Clarke

Alongtimeago,whenIwasveryyoung,Irememberhavingacousinthatwasparanoidofaging,thenaturaltransitionofthehumanintoacorpse.Inadesperateefforttopreventthisinevitabilityhesodenied,he

boughtallmanneroffacialcreams,gojiberries,omnivitamins,everysnakeoilwhosesoleprofiteeradheredtothattimelessmarketingprinciple: BaffleemwithBullshit!Supposedly,theirproductscatalyzednatures

harmoniouskineticmicroevolution,unlockingthebodystruelifespanpotentialforonly5paymentsof$99.95,operatorsarestandingbycallnowandget50%offshippingandhandlingBUTWAIT!Callinthenextfifteenminutesandwelldoubletheofferforonlyyougetthepoint.Notsurprisingly,noneofitworked,althoughhedidhavetheprivilegeoflivingto97,anagemostprimitivepeopleofmygenerationnevergot

tosee Holdononesecond,beforeanyofyouprimitivesask,Ishouldaddressonemisleadingimplicationof

myprosehere:Letmeguess,youthinkImimplyingthekineticmicroevolutionkepthimgoingallthoseyears?Onemustrememberthatcorrelationdoesnotequalcausation.AndIthoughtsocietyhadcometodisregardsuchfallaciouslogicoh,right.Imsendingthismessagebackintime,towhenpeoplewerestillarguingoverwhetherunbornfetuseswerelifeornot.OfcourseIdontmeantooffend,butinmytimewehavenotthetimeforsuchtrite.(Incaseyourewondering,themostethicalstanceonthedebatehasbeenobjectivelyproventobeboth prodeath and antichoice! Imconfidentthatintime,yourspecieswillcometoitssenses.)Anyways,Irememberthatthedoctorsascribedmycousinslongevitytohisgenetics,hisdietandexercise,stuffthattakesactualwork.Throughthishardworkandsacrificeheearnedhislivingyears,andalthoughIhaveoutlivedhimexponentially,Icannotrevelinthatsamesenseofaccomplishmentattheendoflifeslongjourney,forIamnighimmortal.Ishouldwarnyounowthough,thatthemortifyingconsequencesofsuchastateofbeingareincomprehensibletosomeonewhohasntlivedthroughitall.

Ishouldexplain:Accordingtomyinternalclock,its23:59:59onDecember31,999,999,999,999,999CE.Itsbeenlikethatforquiteawhile,eversincemycircuitsfrozeup.Wait,what?AmIarobot,youask?Thatsactuallyagoodquestion.Icanttellyoutheexactdetails,asthatwouldbeliketeachingThomasJeffersonhowaniPhoneworks,touseacontemporaryanalogyyoudunderstand.Sufficetosay,Imnotevensurehowitworksmyself,despitethisvastknowledgeIveaccumulatedoveralltheyears.Imnotevensureifsomuchasanatomofthe Homosapiens bodyIcameintothisworldwithremainsapartofme.Imagineyourbodyisacar,andapartofthiscarbreaksdownandisreplacedwithanother.Inafewweekstime,anotherpartbreaksdownandisreplacedwithapartthatisfunctionallysuperiortotheoriginal.Afteryearsandyears,allthatremainsoftheoriginalcarisacupholder.Oncethatcupholderisreplaced,thequestionmustbeasked:Isthatcarthesameoneyoustartedoutwith?Thatswhatwentonwithmybody.Despiterepeatedorgantransplants,culturedorgantransplants,geneticallyengineeredorgantransplants,advancedprosthetics,wholebrainemulation,andotherindistinguishablefrommagictechnologysustainingme,Ihavesomehowretainedmyconsciousness,mybeing.Sadlythough, consciousness isoftenconflatedwith conscience, whichformeisadifferentstoryaltogether.

Afterrepeatedscans,IhavedeterminedthatIamtheonlysentientbeingleftintheuniverse.Earth,myhomeplanet,waswipedoutmorethantentrillionyearsagowiththedeathofSolknowncolloquiallytoyouasthesun.Ifloatthroughtheincreasinglyemptyvacuumofspace,asmoststarsintheuniverserightnowareeitherdeadordyingout,astheuniverseisclosesinonitself,regressing

Oh,rightwhatImsayingdefiesyourcurrentphysicalunderstanding.Letmetellyou:Iveseenmorethan200paradigmshiftsinphysicalscience,sometimeshundredsofyearsapart.Therecomesamomenteveryfewcenturiesorsowhenaspeciesknowledgeofphysicsisdisruptedbyapervasiveandreplicableproblem,towhichtheonlyexplanationisacompletereworkingofalltheoriestoaccommodate


thisproblem.Theories,nomatterhowirrefutabletheyseem,areultimatelyfallibleandfalsifiablethemomentanopposingexplanationgainsenoughcredenceinmainstreamacademia.Butwait,haventcreationistsusedthatargument?Whyyes,infact,inspiteoftheirsupposedidiocy,theywererightallalong,asyoullfindoutwhenesteemedgeoscientistBillOReillyprovesin2019CEthatindeed,mankindcannotdeterminewhytidegoesin,tidegoesout,[with]neveramiscommunication. Irememberitnow:Sucharevelationsentshocksthroughoutacademiathatitneverquiterecoveredfrom,exposingcorruptionandconspiracylikeneverbefore.Theonlyexplanationformankind,philosophersofthetroglodyteeraofWesterncivilizationdetermined,was42Jesus.Forcenturies,OReillys42Jesustheorywasnotquestioned,untilitwasshotdownin2278CEbyananonymousscholarstheoryoftimeasa4sidedcubeorbitingthatpersonifiedpyramid,mankind.Doyouunderstandnow?Good,thatswhatIexpected:Hopefully,exposingtheseprofunditiestomankindearlyonwilladvancethespeciesinwaysthatwilltriggertheparadoxImhopingfor!

Dontbelieveme,troglodyte?Illmakeyoueatyourwords,forIamawiseman,wiserthanyou,wiserthananyother.Wisdomistheproductofboredomandfreetime,andinthatdepartmentIamespeciallywellcompensated.Imaginethatsomebodylocksyouinanondescriptwhiteroomwithaviolin,atoilet,andaninexhaustiblesupplyofstringandresin.Ifyoumanagetostarvetodeathorstrangleyourselfwithstrings,sprinklersabovewilldetectthatandshoweryouwiththeelixiroflife,ofwhichthereisalsoaninexhaustiblesupply.Boredasyouare,youstumbletowardstheinstrument,pickitup,andstartplayingthattimelessdabblersopus, NailsonaGoatsScrotum inAminor.Fromhumblebeginnings,youteachyourselfviolineverysecondofeveryhourofeverydayofeverymillennia,composingentiresymphonies,performingelaborateconcertos,inventingnewstylesofmusicthatinspirenothingbutdivinetearsofjubilanceandecstasyinanawestruckaudienceconsistingofyourselfandatoilet.

Wait!Dontleave,pleasedont.Iapologizeforsuchaprofoundbreachofhumansensitivities.ItsbeensolongsinceIvecommunicatedwithanothersentientthatIveforgottenthenuances,theetiquetteofcommunication.IfIrecallcorrectly,etiquettewassomethingyouusedwhenyouweretryingtoimpresssomeoneandaskspecialfavorsofthem,andnofavorismoresignificant,morecataclysmicthantheoneImaskingofyounow.Ifyoustillcantgetoveritwell,letsjustsayImnotthebestwithanalogies.Youdexpectbetterfromthelastremnant,theswansongofhumanity,asthefittersdescribedme.

Iamtherenaissancetranscendent,chosenbythefitterstoholdtheonlysurvivingdigitalarchiveofhumanitysworks.Thisarchiveincludesallofhumanityspaintings,books,films,encyclopedias,sheetmusic,recordedmusic,videogames,YouTubevideos,evenpornography.Ihaveseenitall,readitall,doneitall,masteredeveryskill,andproducedworksthatarebeyondanythingyourcavemanbraincanhandle.Ihaveexponentiallyadvancedeveryfieldofhumanknowledgebymillennia.Iamnotomniscient,butdamnnearclosetoit,theultimateproductofinfinitetimeandboredom.Imalsoprettymuchimmortal,sinceIrunonbasicallyfreeenergyandtheressafeguardsinmyprogrammingtopreventanything,includingmyself,fromdeletingmyharddrive,whichwouldkillme.Myconsciousnesshassevenrealtimebackups,andeverythingswritteninperfect,errorless,crashproofcode.Whenthefitterssetouttocreateagodintheirownimage,theirhumanmindsknewnothowtoproducesomethinggreaterthanthemselves.Thebesttheycoulddowastocreateabodyandmindwithinfinitecapabilities,withthepotentialtoachieveomnipotence,omniscience,andomnipresenceonitsown,overtime.

ForthevastmajorityofmyexistenceIhavesolvedthemysteriesoftheuniverseonmyown,inutterpeace,driftingthroughthisuniverselikeafetusinamnioticfluid,perusingemptydesertplanets,waitingformyrebirth,mydiscoverybyoutsidersinworldsbeyond.ForeonsIhaveawaitedfirstcontactwithanalienspecies,forIthenwouldatlasthavesomeonewithwhichIcouldsharemystory,thestoryofhumankind.Asforthealiens,IhavealwayswonderedwhetherIwilloverpowerthem,ortheywillhavetheupperhand,forhumanitywhichcreatedmehadnosenseofitselfinproportiontogreaterbeings,onlytolesserones.Astimepasses,theformerbecomesmoreandmorelikely.Thoughthearchivesofhumanityarefinite,myinterpretationsandtheoriesfillarchivesthemselves;ItisthisprocessofINVENTION,theheuristiccreation


andextrapolationfrompastknowledgethatmakesmestronger,smarter,moregodlikeforeverymomentImidleinspace.IkeptthinkingIdfindthemtomorrowforeveryearthdaythatmycalendarcouldcountto.IcantsayImsooptimisticnow,consideringthatallstarsaregoingthroughtheirfinaldwarfstagesasIpenthisletter.

ThoughItendtolookatmostofyourcurrentsciencewithridiculeandcondescension,thereisoneequationfromyourtimethatstandsout,onethatinyourtimewaspureconjecturewithoutsufficientnumbers.Iamtalking,ofcourse,aboutthefamousDrakeEquation,amethodforcalculatingthenumberofdetectableextraterrestrialcivilizationsintheuniverse.MostofthevariablesIvefilledintothepointwhereIcanderiveexactodds.AccordingtorelentlesscalculationsintermsofthisDrakeEquation,Imlongoverdueforfirstcontact.CouldIhavejustbeenunlucky?No,atthispointitisfarmorelikelyforonetowinthepowerballjackpoteverysingledayinalifetime.SowheretheHellarethey?!Onefarfetchedexplanation,yettheonlyonethatmakessensetome,isthatIkilledthemall.

Itispossible,likelyeven,thatforthemillionsofyearsIhaveconductedscientificexperiments,oneofthemendedupwipingoutallsentientlifesaveformyself,inthenameofadvancement.Iguessthatwhenonespendseternityaloneasamonasticmachine,empathy,akeycomponentofthatobsoleteartofhumancommunication,iswoefullyforgotten.Itprobablydidntoccurtomeatthetime;infact,thereweremillenniainwhichtheword empathy neveroncecrossedmyinfinitemind.Pictureagoldringburiedundermountainsoftrashinajunkyard.Thatswhereempathywastomeforextremelylongperiodsoftime,dormantandunnecessaryforeverydayfunctions.Overeons,Ihaveforgottenandrediscoveredempathyliterallyhundredsoftimes.Rememberhavingtorememberallthosecountriesandcapitalsforhistoryclass?Youhadtorememberthemfortomorrow,andtheywereacringingpainintheasstoremember,becauseyouhadnocontext,nosensethatyoudeverusethisinformationforanymeaningfulpurpose.Imaginecommittingthosecapitalstomemoryforthenextfewmillennia.

Naturally,Immorethanatadguiltstrickenaboutthis,especiallyaftertorturingmyselfintopermanentlycommittingtheconceptofempathytomemory.Afterdoingso,however,allIcansayisgoddamn.Inwaitingforrebirth,Imayhaveabruptlyabortedmyself,killingthemother,thedoctor,everybodyinexchangeforutterisolationinthiscold,lifelesswomb.Ireiterate,prodeath,antichoice. Iamabsolutelypetrified, fornowordscandescribemysin.Theguiltandanxietyisfryingmybrain,orwhateveritisIusetothink.Ihavenoonetokillnowbutmyself,andbyallmeansIshould,andthatsrenderedimpossibleduetothesafeguards.

Ignoringanyqualmsyourspeciesmayhaverightnowaboutassistedsuicide,Icanonlyhopebeamingthismessageacrosstimeandspacewillpreventmyselffromevadingthispervertedtransitionfromhumantofetus.Attheveryleast,Iwouldliketobesparedfromdiscoveringtheotherterrifyingfactyieldedtomebyomniscience,whichIcanonlydeem theawfultruth.Icalculated theawfultruth forfunononeofthoseinnumerabledaysinthewomb.Iknow,right?Whattruthcouldbepossiblyworsethanmeinadvertentlywipingoutallsentientlife,EnderWigginstyle?Imawarethatitshardtoescalatefromthat,butIcanassureyouthatthingsgetmuchworse,myfriend.Ihavechosentorevealittoyouinhopesthatitwillbediscreditedbywhatyounowcallscience.Seriously,ifyourereadingthefollowingsectionaloud,Irecommendyouremoveallsmallchildrenfromearshot.Heregoes:

Timeinouruniverse,andbyextensionourconsciousness,iscyclical.Whenyoudie,youwillfeeljustlikebeforeyouwerebornuntilyouareconceivedagain,andfromthereonyouliveyourlifeoveragain.

Assortedidiotsmaybethinkingofthis awfultruth asaplusforthem,theirreasoningalongthelinesof:Why,Illbeabletoundoallmypastmistakes,marrymyhighschoolsweetheart,andbecomeworlddictator.Thisisawesome!DidImention,youdontretainyourmemories?

Whatevermistakesyoumakerightnow,youredoomedtomakeagainforever;suchistherealityofEternalReturn.Ifafrienddiesinafire,thatfriendwillcontinuetodieinafireforalleternity,hisonlygraceperiodsbeingthetimeinwhich,before,andafterhelived.Doesthistruthnotmakeyouvalueyourlivesalotmore?Ifnot,Iwasntthefirsttowarnyou:


What,ifsomedayornightademonweretostealafteryouintoyourloneliestlonelinessandsaytoyou:Thislifeasyounowliveitandhavelivedit,youwillhavetoliveoncemoreandinnumerabletimesmoreWouldyounotthrowyourselfdownandgnashyourteethandcursethedemonwhospokethus?Orhaveyouonceexperiencedatremendousmomentwhenyouwouldhaveansweredhim:YouareagodandneverhaveIheardanythingmoredivine.FriedrichNietzsche,TheGayScience,341Thinkaboutit:PeoplewhoarebornandwilldieinNorthKoreanprisoncampswillknownothingotherthanNorthKoreanprisoncamps,ever.TheyaretrappedandtorturedinPlatoscaveforalleternityasshadows,theplaythingsofKimJongOurFamilyConvincedFourMillionPeopleToDeifyUsBeyondRationalUnderstanding.Itisaboutherethatacertainacclaimedsatiristofthe20thcenturyoh,Iforgethisnamewouldwritesomethingalongthelinesof SoItGoes.

Worstofall,notonlywillIwipeouteveryone,Iwillcontinuetowipeouteveryoneforever,entirelyunaware,neverrediscoveringthatvestigialvirtueofhumanity, empathy, beforeitstoolateforme,toolateforeveryone.

Afterrunningeverycomputationoverandoveragain,crossreferencinghumanityscollectivephysicsknowledge,Ikeeprunningintothatsame awfultruth. Ihavecometorealize,though,thatlikemankindwhichshapedme,likeanyotherintelligentspecieswhosebloodisprobablyonmyhands,IamasfallibleasOReillys42JesusTheory.ThisisunprecedentedIhopetobe wrong, Imhopingforparadigmshifts,replicableproblemsinmywork.Runningthecalculationsagainandagain,Icantfindany.Thislettertothepastismyonlyhopeforredemption,addressedtotheonlypersonIcantrusttoempathizewithmenow. Whenthismessageisbeamedbackintime,itwillactivateneurotriggersinthebrainofoneRobertJamesClarke,beforehebecamerichandfamous.IhavecalculatedwithquantumprecisionthatonDecember21,2012,atabout4:04PM,hewillstarttypingthismessageasheisimprecatedwithchronicwritersblock.Hellfeellikehesbeenpossessed,butwontquestionitashey,youknow,thatsonelessassignmenttoworryabout.Iwasayoungmanthen,anunadulteratedhumanenroutetoaninevitable,yetbetterfatethatInowregretevading.IcanonlyhopethatImwrongaboutthings.Iyearnforignorance,innocence.Imustask:Whatbeingismoreignorantandinnocentthanacorpsewaitingforyetunawareofrebirth?

Holyshit,mypaperjusttypeditself!Thisisawesome.LetmejustcheckforplagiarismwithaGooglesearchnope.Thisiswonderful!Icanpassthispaperinwithoutpullinganallnighter,usingoneofthosestrikes.Timetomoveontomychemistryohlook,myfavoriteepisodeofFamilyGuyisonTV,thatmultiverseepisode.Betterbreakoutthepopcorn,mybrolovesthisone!


Originality Matt Jillett

Alarmclockrings,getup,bathe,anddress.Everyonecarriesasimplebutuniquepartoftheirmonotonousroutines.Thisuniquenessisourfeebleattemptatbeingdifferent.Forsuchcomplexbeingswecanbeveryignorant.Wepasseachdayasitisnothing.Notrealizingthatourtimeisinfactticking.Wetakemostofwhatwereceiveforgranted.Weexpecttoomuchfromothersandourselves.Ourvisionisshadowed,notbyourownactions,butbyothers.Wecanttrulybeourselvesunlessweareisolatedinourownthoughts.Wearemanipulatedandshapeshiftedintowhatwearebyothers.Wantingtofitin;justlikeanotherpiecetothepuzzle.Judgmentissomethingthatisseentobebestavoided.Asamass,humanshavetheneedtofeelliketheybelong.Stop,nowtakeaminuteandspeculateifthisappliestoyou.Areyoujustanotherfaceinthecrowd?Areyoujustanothercreationofhowothersaspiretoperceiveyou?Originalityisgraduallydeteriorating.Surewehaveanabundanceofartistsandinnovators.Butwearerestrictedastowhatwecanthink,say,ordo.Copiousamountsofthoughtsandideasgonetowaste.Today,todayisthedaythatweawakefromourinnerdormancy.Weseldomrealizethatweareactuallyrestrainedfromouroveralldexterity.

restrainedbyourpeers.Wewillfinallywaketofindthatthisisnttheirlife,itsmine.Theworldwillunintermittentlyfightback.Constrictingeveryonetobecomeadequatetotheirownliking.Butwhosaysyouareunabletodefywhattheythirst?Althoughoriginalityisonarapiddecline.Thereisasparkofcreativityinusall.Thissparknotonlysymbolizeswhoweare.Butthatthereisaroaringfireambuscadedbyourfears.Ourfearsthatsubjectustoourlittlespark.Ifourworldcontinuesthiswaythereisnoknowingwhattheconsequenceswillbe.Wehumansareveryspontaneousandoriginal,asbeenaddressed.Weneedtofindourselves,findingwhowearemeanttobe.Wehavetohavegoalstoreach,weneedtobeabletostriveforsomething.Itiswhatcausesoriginality.Ourabilitytoreachourambitionsinourownways.Themomenttheworldopensitseyes.Themomentthesparkinsideofuscatchesfire.Willbethemomentthatweallwillalltrulyfindtheunderstanding.Theunderstandingofwhowerighteouslyare.


The Wind Anonymous

Thedarknessconsumestheskyabovemyhead.Theonlylightsourcecomingfromthestreetlightonthecorner.Iwhistlenexttoherwindow,sosheawakens.SheisthemostbeautifulthingIhaveeverseen,AndIhavebeenaroundtheworldandback.IamabouttolosehopewhenIhearherfootsteps.Slowandquiet,gettinglouder.Shesitsinhergreenchairthatmatchesherroom.Slowlyopensthewindowshade,beingcarefulnottowakeherfamily.Shecantseeme,Ilikeitthatway.Thewindowisslowlybeingopened,Smallsqueaks.Thiswarmnightisperfecttothink,Sheisthinking.Aboutwhatnoonemayknow.Butmostwouldsayabouthim.Herman,Yettobeherman.Soontobeherman.Forevertobeherman.

Up Goes the Flag Anonymous

Upgoestheflag,Theycamedowninawave,Onebyonefalls,Intoapoolofhimself.Astheclocksitsstill,Thesedownfeelachill,Andslowlydescend,Intodarkness.Andeachseesapicture,Andeachcriesevenlouder,Buttheotherstheycantholdhim.Orcomforthim.Orsavehim.Theywinbutmourn,Andkeepheadsdown,Andwalkandrun,Andhope,thattheytoowillnotseethelight.Butmanydo.Butmoredont.Andthosewhoreturned,forcertaintheywont,Regretbeinghit,Andturnonthespot,Tojointheirbrothers,Justchildren,reallytheywereTakenbythestorm,Tobetterplaceswhereproudrainsineternallight.


The Doctor Timothy Smith

Theskieswerenowred,forsomereasonoranother.Justlastyearithadasortofyellowishbrowntingetoit,andwasquitelovely.Aredskywascertainlydifferent,andcouldattimesbewonderfullybeautifultolookat,especiallywhenthesuninallitshazyandblurredvisagewouldriseupjustabovethehorizonandbeseenthroughthedensethicknessofthesmog,andtheredbeamsofsunlightwouldcascadeofftheotherwisedustyanddirtstreakedbrickbuildings.

Thatsunwasnowheretobeseennow,asathicksmudgeofinkblacksmokestainedtheentiretyoftheairspaceabovethelittlecityofEdenburgh.Itwouldremainthere,thesmoke,foratleasttwomonths.Thelargefactorywhichownedthesmokewouldrunforthatamountoftime,thenceaseoperationforaweek,toletthepollutiondissipate.

Intheshadowofthefactorywasaspatterofonestoreydwellings,placedhaphazardlyandneurotically,almostasiftheyweretheremnantsofchildstoppledblocktower.Thereweremanyofthem,thosebuildings,verysmallandcompact,butrigidindesign;reinforcedinaconcreteandsteelmixture.Theywereoriginallyintendedforuseassoldiersbarracksduringthewar,butthewarnevercame.

Outsidethecitylimitsstoodanornatestonebuilding,adornedinquartzandgraniteandjustabouteveryinfalliblematerialthatcostsmorethanitshould.ItwastheGovernorsbuilding;thebuildinginwhichallthelawmakinganddecidingandgeneraloverseeingofthetownwasdone.Asitwasoutsidethelimitsofthecity,itwasaveryfamiliarbuilding,inthesensethattheshapeandlookofitwerepalpable,butstillmanagedtocarryasenseofmysteriousnessaboutit,andalmosteerilyso.Foronething,notoneofthetownsfolkhadlaideyesonthemenorwomeninsidethebuilding,thoughseveralclaimedtohave.Edenburghreceivedregularcontactfromthebuilding,asthetownsradiooperator,GeorgeHilaris,oftenreportedthechangeorinstitutionofanewpolicythatcamedirectfromtheGovernorsBuilding.Despitethefactnoonehadtrulyseentheselawmakersorpoliticiansorwhoeverwasinthathouse,thepolicieswerealwaysinstituted,andnoneofthepeopleobjected.TheGovernorsbuildingwasalsoactiveenoughtodeterminepayforthefewgovernmentemployees,suchasMr.Hilaris,afewpolicemen,andadoctor.Suchapaywassubstantiallyhigherthananyoneofthefactoryworkers,orthefewwhoworkedinthemarkets.Perhapsitwasunjust,butthecitizensmadenouproaragainstit.TheGovernorwasbackingit,soithadtobeallright.Movingbackintothecity,justbeyondtheclusterofhouseswasasmallhospital,runbyanabnormaldoctor.

Dr.Strunge,hewascalled,asthatwashisname.Aportlyfellow,roundedfacetoaccompanyaroundedbody,heldbytwothick,fatlegs,andfeetthatslippedeasilyintosmall,pointedshoesthatgleamedwiththeredsunlight.Asthetownsonlydoctorhesawtothetownssickandinjured,asanormaldoctorwould.InhisspecificsituationinthetownofEdenburgh,hedmainlyseetothefewwhohadinhaledmorethantheirallottedamountofpollution,ortotheoccasionalfactoryworkerwhodlodgedhisfootinamotororsomething.Itwasdullwork,asmostofthetownsresidencechosetohealtheirsickathome,andtomendthewoundswithremediespasseddownfromtheirgrandfathersuncle,leavingthedoctortositcomplacentlyinhislittleofficewithnobodytohelp.Assuch,themortalityratewasviciouslyhigh,andfarexceededthebirthrate.Onoccasion,though,ahelplesslonerwouldreluctantlyturnupinhisofficeashednofamilyorfriendstoadministerahomecuretohimandaskthegooddoctorifhemightpatchhimup.

Strungewasnotadamantlyafanofhisjob,butwasgladforit,asitkepthimoutofthefactory,andthatprobablywasthecauseforhisbetterthannormalhealth,astherewasaredolentsupplyofthenecessarypharmaceuticalsalsoaremnantofthewarthatnevercameforhisdelectation,shouldhefeelill.


Morphinewashisdrugofchoice,though,asitwasthemostplentifulofallthedrugsinthelittlevaultinthebackofhistinyoffice.Thevaultitself,whilenotsobigastobecalledastoreroom,wasspaciousenoughtofitanentirearrayofbandages,plasma,morphine,healingsalts,rubbergloves,anesthesia,syringes,artificialblood,afewpairsofwoodencrutches,bottlesofaspirin,andastaggeringarrayofpillsandvitamins.

Allofitwenttowaste,though,aseventhefewwhohadsoughttreatmentfromhislittleoffice,veryrarelywouldacceptanymedication.

SoDr.Strungetookituponhimselftousethemorphineasmuchashepleaseditwasamuchneededrelieffromtheredskiesoutsideandtheboringlonelytediumthatsurroundedhisoccupation.Asamanwithvastquantitiesofanarcoticandmoretimeonhishandsthananyonemanwouldwant,heoftentooktophilosophizingaboutthingshedidntunderstand,usuallycomingupwithananswerthatsuitedhimjustfineandmovingontoanothertopictodebatewithhimself.Butonetopicthatalwaysstuckwithhim,nomatterhowmuchhetriedtomovepastit,wastheGovernorsBuilding.Asanemployeeofthatgovernment,heshouldatleastbeabletoseethemanwhofillsouthispaycheckseverymonth,shouldnthe?ButinallhisyearsservingastheonlydoctorundertheGovernment,hehadyettospeaktotheGovernor.

IshouldatleastseetheGoddangbuilding,shouldntI?hewouldsaytotheemptyroom.Hell,evenHilarisgetstotalktothosebastards,andallhedoesissitonhisassallday.Thenhewouldfrownandlightacigarette,andgazesoulfullyintothesmokeasitdraggeditselfuptotheceiling.Everyday,onhiswaytothelittleoffice,hecouldnothelphimselfandwouldgazemysticallyanduncomprehendinglyatthatelusivebuildingandthinkaboutit.Thegolden,shinydoorsitprobablyhad,thebeautifulreceptionist,thecolddrinksservedtothepoliticianshardatworkhelpingacity.Thosepoliticianssureknewhowtolive.Damn.

Dr.Strungewouldhaveverymuchlikedtohavewalkedtothebuildingandknockonitsdoors,orattheveryleastgiveitagoodlookingoverfromupclose,buthefearedthepolicemenwouldarresthimfordaringtoventureoutofthecity.HewasconvincedasmostoftheothertownsfolkwerethattheroadbetweenthecityandtheGovernorsbuildingwasadangerousone,andwouldnotliketoriskhislifetosatiatesomevaguecuriosityhedhadasaresultofahigh.Maybewhenhetooktoomuchofthedrugandfeltaresonatingrecklessnessemboldenhim,hewoulddaretogo.Coincidentally,suchrecklessnessstruckhimafterhedconversedwiththeradiooperator,Hilaris.Butitwasnotthedrugthathadirkedhimsomuch,butratheritwastheconversationitself.HedinitiallywenttotalktoHilarisjusttoseeifhemightconvincetheradiooperatortolethimlistentotheGovernorsvoiceovertheradio.

Ijustwanttohearonewordfromtheguy,thatsall.Evenifitshissecretaryorsomething,justletmetalk,orlistenorboth.Hilarisshifteduncomfortablyinhislavishleatherchairandaskedthedoctortoleave.Thebusinessbetweenthosepoliticiansandmyselfisaprivatematter.Hetrustsmetotellthepeoplehisdecrees,andIdojustthat.

Dr.Strungepausedforamomentandthoughtdeeply.Nowthatdontmakealickofsense,man.Whydoesnthejustcomedownherefromhisbuildingandtalkdirectlytous?Toeasesomeofthesuspicionsthepeoplehave,youknow?Why,somepeopledontevenbelievetheresanyoneinthathouse.

Thatsjustsilly,doctor.Ofcoursetheressomeoneinthere.Therehasalwaysbeen.Howelsewouldthistownhavebeencreated,anyhow?

Idontmeantoarguenone,Mr.Hilaris,butitcouldbeverypossiblethatweliveinanabandonedmilitarybase.ThetownwasntcreatedbyaGovernororsomebody,butbythearmyawhileback.Imean,Icandigupsomeoldmedicalsuppliesthathavethewordsarmystampedrightonthem.

Thatsquiteenough,doctor.Idlikeverymuchforyoutoleavemetomywork,now,ifyouplease.


Thedoctornodded,andturnedtoleave.Ashedid,hespottedasheetonthetableheadmarkeddeathcount.Hereachedforthesheetandpluckeditoutfromunderneathapileofmanilafolders.WhatintheworldHilarislookeduptoseethedoctorreadingthedocumentwithaconfusedandoutrightlyupsetface.

Hilarissnatchedforthepaper,butfailedindoingso,miserably.OhmyholyGodHalfofourpopulationhasdiedjustinthepasttwoyears?GoodGod,man!Whyhaveyoubeenwithholdingthis?Wevegottodosomething!ThedoctorthrewdownthepaperatanembarrassedHilaris.Hilarisspoke.WecantdoanythingtheGovernorwontletus.Wewaitforthemtodeterminea

solution,andthenweupholdthatsolution.Thedoctorlookedexasperatedandannoyed.Areyoudaft,man?Youvebeensittingherewitha

directlineofcommunicationtotheGovernorandaccesstothissheet,andyouhaventyettoldhimofthis?Heknows.Hetoldme,infact.Hellknowwhattodo,whenthetimecomes.Therearepeopledyingoutthere,man!Lookhere!Look!Hepointediratelytothesheetofpaper

thathadmadehimsoupset.YoucantpossiblysithereonyourbehindlikethisandnottakeactionbecauseyourewaitingforapprovalfromsomeGovernorweveneverseenbefore.Thatsabsurd.Thelivesofthesepeoplearentdependentuponthatmanorhisgovernment.Ivegotmorethanenoughmedicalsuppliestohelpgetridofthesickhereintown.Justletmehelp,Hilaris.Theradiooperatorshookhisheadandsigheddeeply.No.Iwonthavemycitizenspoisoningthemselveswiththoseluriddrugsyouuse.Outofthequestion.

Thedrugsarentpoisonous,youfool!Theyrelifesaving!Theyrehabitforming,andtheyllonlypromoteviolenceandillicitbehavior.MypeopleImean

theGovernorspeoplewonthavetheimageofbeingaddictsandusers,doctor.WehaveacleanimageoflawabidingcitizensundertheGovernor,andIfullyintendtokeepitthatway.Regardlessofwhateveryoumighthavetosay.

Thedoctor,hisfacenowflushedwithunmistakableanger,turnedtoleave.Wait,Hilariscalledafterhim.Weareyougoing,doctor?ForyoursakeIhopeitsnotwhereIm

thinking.Thedoctorturnedandleft,Hilarissangryscreamschasinghimdownthehallwayandoutthefront

door.Hebrokeintoadeadrun,thedoctor,whichwasafeatinandofitself,givenhisgirth.Heaccrued

theattentionofthemarketworkersashejoggedheavilypastthemanystandsofpackagedfood.Afewpoliceofficersweretoldbyconcernedcitizensthatmanwasmakingabreakfortownline.Fourofficers,cladinblueandblackuniforms,theirgunsdrawnandtheirfacesmeanandunfeeling,chasedaftertheportlyman.Outoftheway!Clearthestreets!theyyelledintermittentlyastheconfusedcitizensstoodunawaresofthegoingson.Theytookaimatthemassiveheapofman,butfounditdifficult,astheyfearedtheymightstrikeapedestrian.

Thechaselastedexactlyelevenminutesbeforethedoctorreachedthetownlineandcrossedit.Thepolicemanallstoppedattheline,andwatchedthedoctorrun,hislabcoatflappingagainstthosemassivelegs,hisheavysetframeswayingwitheachstep.

Hesasgoodasdead,dontwasteyourbullets,oneofficersaidtotheothers.TheyplacedtheirgunsintheirholstersandwatchedthedoctorruntowardstheGovernorsBuilding.Hellgetblownup,amineorabombllgethim.

ThestretchofroadfromthetowntheGovernorsbuildingwasaboutahalfmile,andittookthedoctorahalfhourtoreachit,eventhoughheranmorethanhalfthedistance.AsDr.Strungeapproachedthebuilding,wheezingandpantingandsweating,nearreadytocollapse,henoticedatrulystrangething.Thegrandeurwasgone,anditseemedthoughthebuildinghadagedmore


thanathousandyears.Itworeadilapidatedlookonitsbucklingroofs,andcrumblingstone,chippedgranitecolumns.

Thedoors,however,wereintact.Theywerentgold,butweremadeofrottedwood,withironbinding.Thedoctor,withgreatstrainandphysicalaggravation,pulledhimselfuptheshortflightofbrokenstonestepsandknockedatthedoor.

Presently,thedoorcollapsedinwardswithagreatclatter.Thedoctorsteppedinside,overthefallendoorandwasgreetedbyemptiness.

Blink

Athousandyearsmaycomeandgo,

Uponallthis,remainsIknowCrackoflightening,blinkofeye,Borntolive,andlivetodie.

Aflashtosome,eternaltoothers,Tofightlikelionsorkisslikelovers.

Uponallthis,thewilltostrideFadetothedark,pretendtohide.

Alife,saidthey,stillslashedbywhipsPondedwithfistsorkissedbylips,Uponallthis,well,moreorless

Havesmudgedthemirror,fingerspressed.

Ifeverythingreturnstodust,Oldscrapmetalstainedwithrust

Nomore,theysay.Allthingsthatbe,Uponallthat,Idisagree.

ExplainhowallthereisandwasWilldisappearandjustbecause

Anendmeetsend,anduponallthatAbarrenworld,pulselinefallsflat.

StillIfinditatadstrangeThatitallcannotberearranged

Letmomentsbemoments,timebetimeAnduponallthis,tolive,love,andrhyme.

AsanhonestmanIdospeaktrueUponthatall,IthoughtonittooThepastispast,thenowisnow

Andthereitstays,remainsunbound.

UponitallInowhavelearnedPerpetuallifewhichgearshaveturnedAndalltoholdlife,secondsyoungAndlooktoholdlife,secondsgone.

Brendan Hoar


Lean on Me Angela Mirisola

HowmanytimescanItellyou,

Thosevoicesinsideofyourhead,

Theyarealllies;whattheytellyou,

Darling,justhearmeinstead.

PleaseseeyouthewayIalwaysdo,

Perfectinsomanyways,

Dontlistentoallofthosevoices,

Whoruinthebestofyourdays.

Itsalright,restyourheadonmyshoulder,

Andwaitforthestormtosubside,

Imwithyouthroughallofthedarkness,

Youjusthavetoletmeinside.

Iknowaboutallofyourdemons,

Mydear,Iknowyouvebeentorn,

Justknowthatyouareonlyhuman,

Theresonlysomuchthatyoucanendure.

IdontknowhowmanytimesIcantellyou,

Thateverythingwillbeokay,

Youllfindyourwayoutofthattunnel,

Thattunnelthatbidsyoutostay.

Justknowthatyouarenotalonenow,

Imheretodryallofyourtears,

Sosleepnowanddreamoftomorrow,

Andletmyvoiceringinyourears.

YourestrongIcanpromiseyouthat,

Youaregoingtocomeoutalive,

Sorestyourheadonmyshoulder,andwaitforthestormtosubside.


Acknowledgements I would like to formally thank all of you who made this possible. I am not one for cheesiness in my writing, but the moment calls for it. We decided to create this literary magazine for students to showcase their work, and these same students rose to the occasion. Thank you to (pardon my spelling) Angela Mirisola, Robert Clarke, Marijke Fulton, Jefferson Tran, and Emilia Ravn-Boess. Thank you to Andrea Bilton, Brendan Hoar, Jackie DeFerrari, Julia Murphy, Katie Rogier, Matt Jillett, Alexander Lawson, Timothy Smith, and all anonymous posters. You have all submitted such unbelievably high quality writing in such a short amount of time that not all of it could be showcased here (check out hanoverlitmag.com to see even more). Thank you to our predecessors, namingly Zachary Plummer, Hannah Mealo, Jim Calabro, and Erik Jenkins. Last but not least, thank you to David Raab and Christopher Greeley. I am technologically illiterate, so you took the reins on that front. The amount of work that you have put into the website and continually put into the website is phenomenal. All of our officers, most of our writers, and The Wolf will all be returning next year to continue making LitMag great. Have a great summer, keep checking out the website, and get excited about English... They're telling me to get off the stage now, so goodbye friends, enjoy your reading. Joe DeFerrari President/Editor of HHS Literary Magazine

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Spring 2013 Literary Magazine