Spouses of IA

8/9/2019 Spouses of IA

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Guideline Series

Guidelines

for Spousesof

IndividualAugmentees (IAs)

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The History of Naval Services FamilyLine

Naval Services FamilyLine is a volunteer, non-profit organization dedicated to

improving the quality of life for every Navy family. Formerly known as the Navy

Wifeline Association, the new name was adopted in September 1999 to reflect the

changing face of todays sea services.

FamilyLine was established in 1965 by a group of Navy wives who wanted to

establish a channel of communication for all Navy spouses. The aim was to provide a

welcome and introduction to Navy life and to increase the spouses understanding of the

Navys mission.

This dedicated group established an office at the Washington Navy Yard and

published a quarterly newspaper, providing information and assistance to wives who were

moving overseas. These Navy wives had the foresight to see the need for spouse and

family support and provided the ground work for what has developed into a world-wide

family support network.With the support of the Chief of Naval Operations and Navy leadership, along

with the financial support of the Navy League, Spouses Clubs worldwide, and other Navy,

Marine Corps, and Coast Guard organizations, Naval Services FamilyLine has continued

to grow and flourish.

Admiral Elmo Zumwalt established the Ombudsman Program in 1970. The

Chairman of FamilyLine was appointed Navy-wide Family Ombudsman-at-Large for the

Chief of Naval Operations.

In 1988, the first Ombudsman Journal was published and the Navy-wide

Ombudsmen Support Network was established.

For more than forty years, FamilyLine volunteers have maintained a worldwide

support network for Navy, service members and their families. Today, the spouses of

service members work together to continue this fine tradition.

This publication is paid for by Naval Services FamilyLine and distributed to you

free by FamilyLine volunteers under the supervision of the CNO Navy-wide Family

Ombudsman-at-Large. FamilyLine is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

Donations are welcome and appreciated. They are tax deductible and will be used to

help defray the cost of this and other FamilyLine publications.

Naval Services FamilyLine1014 N Street, S.E., Suite 120

Washington Navy Yard, DC 20374-5067

Phone: 202-433-2333

Toll-Free: 1-877-673-7773

DSN: 288-2333

Fax: 202-433-4622

E-mail: [email protected]

www.lifelines.navy.mil/Familyline

August 2008

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1 IA Family Handbook

Contents

Contents ................................................................................................1

Whats an IA and a GSA Anyway? ......................................................3

IA/GSA Process ....................................................................................4

IA/GSA Overview ................................................................................................4

Important Documents .........................................................................6

Wills .................................................................................................................6

Powers of Attorney..............................................................................................6

Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI) ......................................................6

Emergency Data Form .........................................................................................7

Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System ..................................................7

Navy Family Accountability and Assessment System..............................................7

Other Important Documents ................................................................................8

Your Money ...........................................................................................9

Entitlements ......................................................................................................9

Pay Changes to Monitor ......................................................................................9

Tax Free Savings Incentive...................................................................................9

Spending Plan ..................................................................................................10

Before the deployment ensure: ..........................................................................10Financial challenges: ........................................................................................10

Taxes: .............................................................................................................10

Financial goals: ................................................................................................10

Servicemembers Civil Relief Act ......................................................................10

Your Home ......................................................................................... 12

Emergency Preparedness ................................................................ 14

Service Member Casualty .................................................................................14

Disaster Preparedness .....................................................................................14

Communication ................................................................................. 16

OPSEC ............................................................................................................16

Stay Connected ................................................................................................16

Letters ............................................................................................................16

E-mail ..............................................................................................................17

Postal Service Announces Military Discount .......................................................17

Care Packages .................................................................................................17

Care package items may include: ......................................................................18

Creative Care Packages ....................................................................................18

Telephone Calls ................................................................................................19Pictures, Video Recordings and Video Teleconferencing .......................................19


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IA Family Handbook 2

Your Emotions ................................................................................... 20

Emotional Ups and Downs of Deployment ..........................................................20

Anticipation of Loss ..........................................................................................20

Detachment and Withdrawal ..............................................................................20

Emotional Disorganization .................................................................................20

Hows Your Attitude? .........................................................................................21

Recovery ........................................................................................................21

Proven Stress Busters .....................................................................................22

Your Family ........................................................................................ 23

Keep Your Relationship Strong ..........................................................................23

Children and Deployment ..................................................................................24

Children and Deployment ................................................................ 25

Deployment Activities for Kids ...........................................................................26

R&R Leave ......................................................................................... 29

R&R Leave Expectations ...................................................................................29

R&R Leave Tips ................................................................................. 30

Extended Time Away .........................................................................................30

Free Space A Flights for Families of Deployed...................................................31

Homecoming ..................................................................................... 33

Expectations ....................................................................................................33

Tips for a Successful Homecoming ....................................................................34

Children and Reunion .......................................................................................35

Help When You Need It .................................................................... 36

Command Ombudsman ....................................................................................36

American Red Cross .........................................................................................37

Chaplain ..........................................................................................................38

Command Family Readiness Group ....................................................................39

Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center (ECRC) .................................................40

Fleet and Family Support Center ........................................................................41

Joint Family Support Assistance Program ..........................................................41

Military OneSource ...........................................................................................42

Navy Knowledge Online .....................................................................................42

Personnel Support Detachment .........................................................................42

Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society .......................................................................43

Naval Services FamilyLine .................................................................................44

Operation Military Child Care ............................................................................45

Operation Purple Camp ...................................................................................45

Operation Military Kids ...................................................................................46

TRICARE ..........................................................................................................47

Deployment Readiness Assessment .............................................. 48


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In contrast to a Sailor that deploys with a

ship, squadron or unit, a Sailor who leaves

their assigned command to deploy individu-ally or with a small group is known as an In-

dividual Augmentee (IA ). IAs also include

Reservists deployed individually or with

a unit. Hal o the deployed IAs are active

duty and hal are mobilized Reservists. Most

are concentrated in the Central Command

region, which includes Iraq, Aghanistan,

Kuwait, Bahrain and the Horn o Arica.

Te rest are serving elsewhere in the world.

Most Sailors are working in their skill sets to

provide combat support and combat service

support in the Global War on errorism. IA

Sailors are not replacing inantry or ront

line combat soldiers.

Sailors may be assigned or volunteer or

IA orders that come to their command

through a Navy-wide Request or Forces

(RFF) message. I your Sailor receives an IAassignment as a Request For Forces billet

through their current command, they will

remain a member o their current command,

oen reerred to as their parent command,

and return to it when they complete their

IA tour.

Sailors may also negotiate or orders with

their detailer when they are in their Periodic

Rotation Date (PRD) window. Detailing

opportunities provided through the recently

implemented Global War on error Support

Assignment (GSA) initiative are providing

Sailors with increased opportunities to

volunteer or an IA tour at a time that works

best or you and your amily.

Te purpose o the GSA transition is to

signifcantly improve predictability o IAmissions, enable volunteerism, improve

manning and stability at the unit level, and

Whats an IA and a GSA Anyway?

add detailer involvement or oversight o

proessional development. GSA orders are

negotiated in your Sailors normal detailingwindow.

Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center

(ECRC) becomes your Sailors administra-

tive parent command while deployed. Tis

means your Sailor will detach rom their

current command, ollow the training and

deployment track as outlined in their orders,

but they will also be administratively as-

signed to the ECRC.

Experienced Navy amilies say continuous

readiness and knowing resources are the

keys to successul deployments. Sailors

and their amilies must always be ready

or deployment. Tis handbook provides

basic inormation to help you be ready or

deployment.


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Your Sailor should have at least sixty days to

prepare or his/her IA assignment. Teres

a urry o preparation activities during thistime. In act, there is a mandatory checklist

they must complete beore departing. Te

mandatory ECRC IA Checklist is only

located on the IA page o Navy Knowledge

Online (NKO) web portal at https://wwwa.

nko.navy.mil and on the ECRC website at

www.ecrc.navy.mil

Activities every Sailor must complete

include:

A medical/dental check-up.M

Online Navy courses related to their as-Msignment.

Personal preparation.M

Family contact inormation.M

IA/GSA Overview

Te ollowing inormation is provided tohelp you understand the IA process:

Your Sailor is notied that they have been1.selected to ll a billet. Sailors may havebeen selected by their command to ll aRequest or Forces billet or they may havenegotiated or GSA (PCS) orders.

IA/GSA Process

Upon notication, Sailors and Com-2.mand IA Coordinators should review

the ECRC IA Checklist and otherofcial requirements posted on the NKOwebsite. Your Sailor should start to com-plete these requirements as soon as theyhave been notied that they have beenselected. Command IA Coordinatorsshould be tracking progress and assisting

your Sailor with any problems they mayhave in completing the mandatory re-quirements. Command IA Coordinators

should also coordinate with CommandOmbudsman to ensure you have point ocontact inormation i you should needassistance.

Its important or your Sailor to thor-3.oughly read his/her orders and to comply

with all mandatory prerequisites. TeECRC IA Checklist must be submittedelectronically to ECRC within 14 days oreceipt o orders.

Your Sailor will report to the Navy Mobi-4.lization and Processing Site (NMPS) thatis selected by training and unit require-ments and is designated in their orders.Your Sailor will be there or approxi-mately one week to ensure all prerequi-site items and mandatory requirementsare complete and that he/she is qualiedto move orward. Sailors receive their

required uniorms here. Families cannotaccompany Sailors to NMPS and are notallowed to accompany them rom this

point orward.


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Sailors travel to the Army training site5.that is designated in their orders or basiccombat skills training. Tis training lastsapproximately three weeks. Any uni-orm item or gear that was not issued at

NMPS is issued at the training site.Some Sailors may require additional6.mission specic training. Te location/length o the training is stated in theirorders.

Aer completing training in the United7.States, most Sailors receive additionaltraining when they process throughKuwait. Sailors travel to their assigned

mission location aer all required train-ing is completed.

Aer completing their mission, most8.Sailors go through the Warrior ransi-tion Program (WP) in theater. Sailorsspend approximately one week at the

WP to begin reintegration into lie in anon-combat environment, attend briesand turn in their issued gear. Sailors thatdo not transition through the WP in

theater return to the United States by theroute directed in their orders and beginreintegration at that location.

All returning Sailors return through the9.NMPS as stated in their orders.

Sailors will then demobilize, return10.to their parent command or PCS totheir new duty station. Command IA

Coordinators should engage to ensureyour Sailor is welcomed back and checksin properly. Te Command IA Coordi-nator, in coordination with PersonnelSupport Detachment (PSD) shouldensure that all o your Sailors pay, leaverequirements, personnel records, evalu-ations, awards and advancement examinormation are updated and correct torefect your Sailors honorable service.


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Key items that should be reviewed and

updated by your Sailor prior to deployment

include:Wills1.

Powers o Attorney.2.

Servicemembers Group Lie Insurance.3.

Emergency Data Form.4.

Deense Enrollment Eligibility Report-5.ing System (DEERS).

Navy Family Accountability and Assess-6. ment System (NFAAS).

Wills

A will is a legal expression or declaration

o an individuals wishes upon their death.

For couples with children its important

to include who youd want to care or your

children should something happen to both

you and your Sailor. o ensure your estate

is distributed how you want, make sure you

have a current will and your loved ones

know its location. Your local Navy Legal

Services Oce will assist you in making a will

at no cost.

Powers of Attorney

Powers o Attorney can be very useul when

conducting personal business. Tey can alsobe very dangerous documents as they allow

someone to act in your behal. When your

Sailor is deployed you may need diferent

types o Powers o Attorney or diferent

tasks. For example, you may need a special

Power o Attorney to le your taxes or or

you or to buy or sell a big ticket item such

as a vehicle or condo. Tere is a document

called a General Power o Attorney thatcan be used in a variety o situations. You

need to know in advance what type o Power

o Attorney will be accepted by an institu-

tion you want to do business with. Not all

will accept a General Power o Attorney.

Your local Navy Legal Services Oce can

discuss options and draw up a Power o At-

torney at no charge.

Servicemembers Group Life

Insurance (SGLI)

Active duty service members are eligible to

be insured under SGLI up to a maximum o

$400,000 in increments o $50,000. Beore

deployment you should ask your Sailor to

veriy who they have designated as bene-

ciary and make changes as necessary. A will

does not impact who is the beneciary o lieinsurance. o make changes Election Form

(VA Form SGLV-8286) must be completed.

For more inormation on Servicemembers

Group Lie Insurance visit the Department

o Veterans Group Lie Insurance inorma-

tion page at

www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/deault.htm.

Important Documents


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Emergency Data Form

Te Emergency Data Form is more com-

monly reerred to as the Page wo o your

Sailors Service Record. Your Sailor provides

inormation about who should be contacted

i they become ill, are injured, killed, or

missing. You can see how important it is to

ensure your address and phone number is

accurate on your Sailors page 2. I you leave

the area or an extended period o time, or

move, contact your Command Ombuds-

man and provide your current contact

inormation.

Defense Enrollment EligibilityReporting System

Its important to update the Deense Enroll-

ment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS)

aer a lie-changing event such as marriage

or the birth o a child.

DEERS registration is the key to getting

RICAR E benets eligibility established

and maintained. DEERS is DODs amilymember database and the primary way to

keep track o a Sailors entitlements.

Since dual-military spouses are also

automatically covered by Family Service-

members Group Lie Insurance (FSGLI),

a dual military couple may nd they owe

several months o FSGLI premiums because

they didnt decline coverage or update their

DEERS record to reect having a spouse.Both members o a dual military couple

must update DEERS, and, i they dont want

FSGLI, must decline coverage in writing.

Navy Family Accountability and

Assessment System

Fleet and Family Support Centers provide

many services or IA Sailors and their

amilies. Tey also maintain a data base

called the Navy Family Accountability and

Assessment System (NFAAS). FFSC staf

will contact you throughout the deployment

to ensure you are aware o programs and

services that may be o interest. FFSC also

contacts amilies in the event o a natural

disaster.

Whether at the start o an IA tour or look-

ing orward to coming home, IA amilyinormation needs to be kept current in the

Navy Family Accountability and Assess-

ment System (NFAAS). Ensure you or your

Sailor updates NFAAS and be sure to up-

date it i you move during the deployment.

o update NFAAS:

LOG ONO NFAAS atM www.navyam-ily.navy.mil.

Select the [NFAAS-Navy Family Mem-Mber] tab.

You will need your Sailors social securityMnumber and birth date or access.

Update your amily inormation underMthe [MY INFO] tab. Enter everyone you

want contacted in case o emergency.

You may also take a survey under the [AS-M

SESSMEN] tab to urther assist your am-ily and make specic amily needs known.


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TOP TIP

Organize all of your important papers, makea copy, and store the originals and copies

separately in a safe place.

Other Important Documents

I you dont already have one its a good idea

to invest in a small, fre proo sae or rent

a saety deposit box to store your amilys

important documents. Many o these docu-

ments are hard to replace. Even though you

dont need them oen, when you do need

them they are critical. Do you know where

each o the ollowing documents is located?

Birth Certifcates.M

Marriage License.M

Divorce Decrees.M

Death Certifcates.M

Medical Records o each Family Member.M

Dental Records o each Family Member.M

Veterinarian Records or each Pet.M

Adoption Papers.M

Citizenship/Naturalization Papers.M

Passports/Visas.M

Insurance Policies (Lie, Health, Home,MVehicle, Flood).

Real Estate Documents (Lease, Deed,MFirst and Second Mortgages).

Car itle, Registration and Inspection.M

Most Recent Leave and Earnings State-Mment (LES).

Social Security Number o each FamilyMMember.

Current Address and Phone NumberMo Immediate Family Members o bothSpouses.

Wills.M

Power O Attorney(s).M

A copy o your Sailors orders. YourMSailors Noble Eagle (NE) number islocated in their orders Te NE numbercan be used by Navy personnel to quicklylocate your Sailor i you should needassistance.


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EntitlementsYour Sailor may be entitled to some ad-

ditional nancial incentives during their IA

assignment. Most IA assignment-related en-

titlements start at the mobilization process-

ing site. Some o these entitlements include:

Hostile Fire Pay/Imminent Danger Pay.M

Combat Zone ax Exclusion.M

Savings Deposit Program (SDP) allowsMservice members deployed to combatzones to earn ten percent interest ondeposits up to $10,000.

Complete tax ree pay enlisted/warrants.MOcers up to allowable limit. Note: So-cial Security and Medicare are collected.

Hardship Duty Pay.M

Incidental Expense per diem paid whenM

lodging and meals are provided. Tis isin addition to ull Basic Allowance orSubsistence. Monthly travel claims arerequired or payment.

Family Separation Allowance.M

Pay Changes to Monitor

Tere are some pays active duty IAs and

their amilies need to be aware o to avoid

over or under payment during an IA

assignment:

Sea PayM

Not eligible aer 31st day o IA assign-ment. Sea pay will stop.

Sea counter stopped with the stop osea pay.

Special detailing considered or credito IA assignment.

Meal DeductionM

No meal deduction or entire IAassignment.

Your Money

Special Duty Assignment Pay (SDAP)M

Eligibility can continue up to the rst90 days o IA assignment.

I command transers special dutyassignment to another qualied com-mand member, SDAP can be stoppedthe rst day o IA assignment.

Tax Free Savings Incentive

Te tax ree savings advantage can be signi-

cant during an IA assignment. Te TriSavings Plan (SP) enables tax exempt

contributions up to $45,000.

Te Savings Deposit Program (SDP) is

available to those serving in designated

combat zones. Military members deployed

in combat zone, qualied hazardous duty

areas, or certain contingency operations

may be eligible to deposit all or part o their

unallotted pay into a DoD savings account

up to $10,000 during a single deployment.

Interest accrues at an annual rate o 10% and

compounds quarterly. Interest accrued on

earnings deposited into the SDP is taxable.

o be eligible or SDP, a service member

must be receiving Hostile Fire/Imminent

Danger Pay (HFP/IDP) and serving in a

designated combat zone or in direct supporto a combat zone or more than 30 consecu-

tive days or or at least one day or each o

three consecutive months. Service members

may begin making deposits on their 31st

consecutive day in the designated area. All

deposit amounts must be made in $5 incre-

ments and deposits may be discontinued at

any time. Te account will stop accruing

interest 90 days aer a member returns romthe combat zone. o learn more about SDP,

visit the Deense Finance and Accounting

Service (DFAS) at www.das.mil.

alking about your budget, banking, taxes and important documents may seem like the last

thing you want to do beore your Sailor leaves, but having your nancial afairs organized can

give you some peace o mind.


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Financial challenges:

Do you have money saved in case oMnancial emergency?

Have you considered asking your SailorM

to sign a pre-authorization orm withNavy Marine Corps Relie Society i yoursavings are minimal?

Are you an authorized user o yourM

Sailors myPay account?

Taxes:

Will your Sailor be deployed during theMtax season? I you le jointly youll need

to get a Special Power o Attorney orling taxes or depositing the reund.

Do you need an extension o the lingMdeadline?

Do you need to le state income taxMreturns? You can contact the InternalRevenue Service at www.irs.gov or moreinormation

Financial goals:

I you have credit card balances are youMworking to pay it of?

Have you and your Sailor discussedMnancial goals? Are you saving or emer-gencies, a new car, a house, a vacation?

Is your Sailor enrolled in the Tri Sav-Mings Plan?

Servicemembers Civil Relief Act

Te Service Members Civil Relie Act

(SCRA) is a law that protects service

members on active duty. Major provisions

include:

erminationMo ResidentialLeases. Tisallows individuals

to break a leasewhen they goonto active duty,

Spending Plan

Setting up a spending plan is one o the

smartest things you can do prior to a deploy-

ment or any time. A spending plan allows

you to see where your money is going and to

make adjustments as needed to meet your

nancial goals.

Its good to do a plan together so both you

and your partner understand and agree to

how nances will be handled during the

deployment.

When setting up or updating your spending

plan look at possible changes to your income:

Will your Sailor earn any additionalMmoney or per diem, amily separationallowance, combat duty pay, etc.?

Will your Sailor be paid or a promotionMduring deployment?

Will a reenlistment bonus be receivedMduring deployment?

Will you be working longer or shorterM

hours?

Before the deployment ensure:

Pay distribution is set up the way youMwant. Are direct deposits, any allotmentsor automatic check dras established?

How will your Sailor pay or theirMexpenses? Tey are required to have agovernment travel card to pay or ocial

expenses. Will they have a xed amounteach month they can access via personalcheck or debit card?

Are you using joint or separate checkingMaccounts? I joint, have you discussedhow you will manage the account?

Do you have overdra protection orMyour checking accounts just in case?

Are you prepared or recurring, but notM

monthly expenses such as tuition pay-ments, car and home insurance?



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i the lease was entered into beore goingonto active duty. Additionally, the actallows a servicemember to terminate aresidential lease entered into while in themilitary, i the member receives perma-

nent change o station (PCS) orders, ororders to deploy or a period o not lessthan 90 days.

Automobile Leases. I a member entersMinto an automobile lease beore going onactive duty, the member may request ter-mination o the lease when he/she goesonto active duty. However, or this toapply, the active duty must be or at least180 continuous days. Military members

making a permanent change o station(PCS) move, or who deploy or 180 daysor longer may terminate such leases.

Evictions rom Leased Housing. ServiceMmembers may seek protection romeviction under SCRA. Te rented/leased

property must be occupied by the servicemember or his/her dependents and therent cannot exceed a certain amount that

is adjusted each year. Te service memberor dependent who has received notice oan eviction must submit a request to thecourt or protection under the SCRA. Ithe court nds that the service membersmilitary duties have materially afectedhis ability to pay his rent in a timely man-ner, the judge may order a stay, postpone-ment o the eviction proceeding, or upto three months or make any other just

order.Installment Contracts. Te SCRA givesMcertain protections against repossessionsor installment contracts. I the contract

was entered into beore going on activeduty and at least one payment was madebeore that time, the creditor cannotrepossess the property, while the memberis on active duty, nor can they terminatethe contract or breach, without a court

order.

6% Interest Rate. I a service membersMmilitary obligation has afected his/herability to pay on nancial obligationssuch as credit cards, loans, mortgages,etc., the service member can have his/her

interest rate capped at 6% or the dura-tion o the service members military ob-ligation. Qualiying debts are debts that

were incurred by the service member,or the service member and their spouse,

jointly, beore coming on active duty.Debts entered into aer going on activeduty are not so protected.

Court Proceedings. I a service memberMis a deendant in a civil court proceed-

ing, the court may grant a 90-day delayin the proceedings. Te provision appliesto civil lawsuits, suits or paternity, childcustody suits, and bankruptcy debtor/creditor meetings, and administrative

proceedings.

Enorcement o Obligations, Liabilities,Maxes. A service member or dependentmay, at any time during his/her military

service, or within 6 months thereaer,apply to a court or relie o any obliga-tion or liability incurred by the servicemember or dependent prior to activeduty or in respect to any tax or assess-ment whether alling during or priorto the service members active militaryservice. Te court may grant stays oenorcement during which time no neor penalty can accrue.

Additionally, the act prevents service mem-bers rom a orm o double taxation that canoccur when they have a spouse who worksand is taxed in a state other than the state in

which they maintain their permanent legalresidence. Te law prevents states rom us-ing the income earned by a service memberin determining the spouses tax rate whenthey do not maintain their permanent legal

residence in that state.


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I something is going to go wrong during

a deployment, most military spouses say it

will involve the house or the car. Have yourSailor do as much preventive maintenance

as possible. Make sure you have adequate

insurance to cover the big things that can

go wrong. Homeowners, rental, food and

car insurance cant eliminate every loss you

might have, but they can make recovering

rom major losses easier.

Preplan where you will go in case you are

required to evacuate your home during adisaster. Both you and your spouse will eel

better knowing you have a plan and a place

to go during a disaster such as a hurricane or

earthquake. Create an emergency prepared-

ness kit. A basic kit includes:

Flashlights or battery-powered lanternsMand extra batteries and bulbs.

First aid kit with any medications amilyMmembers routinely take.

Water one gallon per amily member.MStore enough or ve days.

Food nonperishable oods that dontMneed to be cooked or rerigerated. Storeenough or ve days. Dont orget ood/

water or pets.

Portable radio and extra batteries.M

Your Home

Honey Do List

Although your Sailor has many things to

do beore they deploy ensure they complete

routine maintenance and show you how

to handle minor repairs. Create a honey

do list o items that must be done beore

deployment. I youre in the middle o a

renovation project try to complete it or

at least make it usable. Washing dishes in

the bathroom because the kitchen is being

remodeled isnt much o a problem or a ew

days, but it can become a major aggravationaer a ew months.

Your spouse probably does a lot o routine

maintenance around the house. Ask them

to show you, or to write down, step by step

instructions so you know how to do routine

tasks such as:

Change the air conditioner/urnace lter.M

Change the water lter.M

Start the lawnmower, put gas and oil into it.M

Reverse ceiling ans.M

Vacuum the rerigerator coils.M

Fix a leaking toilet.M

Reset circuit breakers.M

Deal with computer quirks.M

Hook up a new propane tank to the grill.M

Change smoke alarm/clock batteries.M

TOP TIP

Make sure you have renters/home-

owners insurance. I you live in an area

that is prone to fooding, make sure you

have food insurance too.


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Ten Tips for Staying Safe at HomeBeore your loved one leaves do a saety check o your house or apartment.

Most police departments will do a walk through o your home and make recommendations to

improve saety or no charge. ips include:

1. Place telephones with emergency numbers by your bed and near the place you sit mostoen.

2. Always lock all doors and windows.

3. Use a peephole to identiy visitors beore opening your door.

4. Do not hide spare keys outside your home.

5. Do not provide your house keys to service people.6. Do not invite strangers into your home.

7. Avoid telling others about the valuables in your home. Crush boxes o high value itemssuch as televisions and computers when you set the trash out.

8. Make sure there is good lighting around the place where you park.

9. Install motion detector lights around your house instead o just leaving lights on atnight. Te lights coming on and turning of attract the attention o neighbors. Installthese lights at least 8 eet above the ground so they are more di cult to disable.

10. I you have shrubs and bushes, select ones with thorns to deter potential intruders romhiding in them.


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Emergency Preparedness

While dealing with an emergency is chal-

lenging when you are with amily, it is even

more o a challenge when youre alone.

Service Member Casualty

I a service member is injured, gravely ill,

killed or missing, primary next o kin will be

notifed by a uniormed service member and

typically, a chaplain. Notifcations are made

in person. Primary next o kin are those

individuals identifed by the service member

on Emergency Data Form or page two o

a service members personnel record. Tat is

why it is so important to ensure the inorma-

tion on the page two is always current. I a

amily member is going out o the area or

an extended time period during the deploy-

ment it is a good idea to alert the command

ombudsman and provide temporary contact

inormation.

Disaster Preparedness

It may seem like an oxymoron, but being

prepared or possible emergencies can pro-vide some peace o mind.

Make sure you have insurance or yourMproperty. I you rent or live in militaryhousing get renters insurance.

Have a designated person to contact outMo state so that i you and loved ones caneach call that person and check-in. Tisis especially important i communicationis limited and you are physicallyseparated.

Have an emergency plan that includesMevacuation routes and supplies.

When preparing or a possible emergency

situation, its best to think frst about the

basics o survival:

Fresh water.M

Food.M

Clean air.M

Warmth.M


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Put together the ollowing items and store in

an easily accessible location:

Water, one gallon o water per person perMday or at least three days.

Food, at least a three-day supply o non-M

perishable ood.

Can opener or ood (i kit containsMcanned ood).

Battery-powered or hand crank radio andMextra batteries.

Flashlight and extra batteries.M

First aid kit.M

Family documents such as insuranceMpolicies and bank account records in awaterproo container.

Whistle to signal or help.M

Wrench or pliers to turn of utilities.M

Prescription medications and glasses.M

Inant ormula and diapers.M

Pet ood.M

Cash.M

Sleeping bag or warm blanket or eachMperson.

Change o clothing.M

Matches in a waterproo container.M

Feminine supplies and personal hygieneMitems.

Paper products cups, plates and plasticMutensils.

For more inormation about emergency

preparation go to

www.cnic.navy.mil/cnic_hq_site/OpPre-

pare/index.htm.


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OPSEC

Operation Security or OPSEC is keeping

potential adversaries rom discoveringsensitive Department o Deense inorma-

tion. As the name suggests, it protects US

operations planned, in progress and those

completed. Success depends on secrecy and

surprise, so the military can accomplish the

mission more quickly and with less risk.

Enemies o reedom want this inormation,

and they see Sailors and their amilies as

potential inormation sources.

Types o sensitive inormation:

Unit mission or the number o personnelMassigned.

Locations and times o deployments.M

Unit morale or personnel problems.M

Security procedures.M

Troop movement.M

Military intentions, capabilities or operations.M

Dont:

Talk about sensitive inormation in pub-Mlic settings such as the club, commissary,Navy Exchange or in the community.

Talk about sensitive inormation over theMtelephone.

Post pictures or inormation on web sitesMor blogs.

Include sensitive inormation in e-mailsMor attachments.

Write about sensitive inormation inMnewsletters or blogs.

Neglect to shred excess paper involvingMinormation on operations.

Try to talk around classied inorma-Mtion it is extremely difcult to out-smart experienced intelligence analysts.

Communication

Stay Connected

Communication can be challenging during

an IA deployment because your Sailor maynot be near telephones or computers. Mail

service can take weeks at times. Dont let

that deter you. Any Sailor will tell you there

is not a better day brightener than hearing

rom loved ones back home.

No news is oen good news. It means your

Sailor is hard at work. Know that i your

loved one is ever seriously injured or missing

rom duty, a uniormed Navy representa-tive with ID will contact you in person to

inorm you o their status. Beware o scams

claiming your sailor is injured and asking

you or personal inormation about your

Sailor over the phone or by email.

Letters

Letters, while taking longer to receive, are a

more personal way to communicate. Manycouples save their love letters rom a de-

ployment. Not many save e-mails. Its a good

idea to number letters as they dont always

arrive in the order they are written.

Ensure you have your Sailors ull mailing

address. Create a mail kit with cards, won-

derul stationary, pens, sticker, stamps, etc.

to make letter writing easy and enjoyable.


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Letters dont have to be long. Dont worryabout grammar or spelling. Write lettersabout your daily existence, your plans orthe uture, and your thoughtsand eelings to help maintain

your emotional connection andmake it easier to reunite athomecoming.

E-mail

Quick and easy, e-mail is great or staying intouch. Discuss e-mail expectations prior todeploying:

Will e-mail be readily available?M

(Note: Because o mission priority andlocation, some e-mail systems may beintermittently disrupted.)

I so, how oen will you send e-mails?M

What address do you use?M

E-mail is not a great way to communicatewhen youre angry or upset. I you reallyhave a need to get your eelings of your

chest, go ahead and write the e-mail, butsave it or 24 hours and reread beore yousend. Its usually best to communicate strongeelings over the phone when you cant do itin person. Also, remember, e-mails are notcondential. Tey may be seen by others. Becareul what you write.

Postal Service Announces

Military DiscountTe U.S. Postal Service is rolling out a new,larger at-rate box eatures or the rsttime in Postal Service history a militarydiscount or those mailing to APO andFPO addresses. Regardless o how muchthey weigh, the boxes cost $12.95 to mailor the general public, and $10.95 i mailedto an APO or FPO address, postal ocials

said. Te boxes themselves are ree.For more inormation visit www.usps.com.

Care Packages

Who doesnt like to receive a present in themail? Care packages are presents rom home,but that doesnt mean a deployed Sailor can-

not send a package to loved ones back home!While most items Sailors need are providedto them, items that make their lie morecomortable are not. Moms, grandmothers,church groups and riends oen enjoy send-ing care packages to service members as they

welcome the opportunity to show support.

Te United States Postal Service (USPS)ofers ree packing materials to amilies o

military members deployed overseas. Call(800) 610-8734 Press 1 (For English)Press 1 Again (For Operator) Ask or theCAREKI04. Tey do not provide ree

postage.

A at-rate box with a military discount orthose mailing to APO and FPO addressesis also available. Regardless o how muchthey weigh, the boxes cost $12.95 to mail

or the general public, and $10.95 i mailedto an APO or FPO address, postal ocialssaid. Te boxes themselves are ree. Moreinormation is available at www.usps.com/supportingourtroops.


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Good Sport Pack

Sports magazinesM

Video o a local game orMyour kids games

Favorite team T-shirt orMcap

Popcorn and peanutsM

PennantsM

Autograph rom a avoriteMstar

Our Morning Cofee Pack

Favorite cofee blendM

All the goodies to addMcreamer, sugar, avors,etc

A great mugM

Tasty Cake cofee cakesM

BiscottiM

A picture o you in PJsM

A picture o kids at break-M

ast table

Coming Home Pack

Picture o your new outtM

Your avorite perume orMcologne

A map o how to getMhome rom the airport

A bannerM

A picture o the welcomeMhome decorations

A menuM

Care package items

may include:

CDsM

Hand sanitizersM

SunglassesM

Telephone calling cardsM

ShampooM

SunscreenM

Bug repellentM

Tooth paste/mouth washM

GumM

Books/reading materialM

Underwear/T-shirtsM

Packaged candy/cookiesM

Creative Care

Packages

Running out o creative ideas

to send in care packages? Try

some o these theme packideas:

Call Home (or write) Pack

Note paper and colorulMpens

Phone cardsM

Address labelsM

Address bookM

Pre-addressed special oc-Mcasion cards

Love letters rom yourMcourting days

Beach Party Pack

Flip-opsM

SunglassesM

Blow-Up beach toysM

SunscreenM

Bathing suitM

Beach towelM

Night @ the Movies Pack

DVDsM

PopcornM

Movie candyM

Nachos suppliesM

Homemade posterM

Second Childhood Pack

YoyoM

Old Maid cards/Go FishMcards

Silly PuttyM

Silly StringM

MarblesM

BalloonsM

Kid Meal toysM

Whine & Cheese Pack

Tape o you/ kids whiningM

Assortment o cheesesM

Assortment o sausagesM

Assortment o crackersM


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Pictures, Video Recordings and

Video Teleconferencing

While letters and e-mails are nice, there is

nothing better than seeing your Sailor. I

your loved one has access to a DVD player

make recordings o lie at home and ask

them to do the same or you. Realize that

privacy is at a premium so be discreet when

sending videos and pictures.

Send pictures o yoursel, amily members,

any new items you purchase or the new

urniture arrangement. I you have children

or are an expectant parent pictures are

even more important as children grow andchange quickly.

I you have the opportunity to do video

teleconerencing with your Sailor it might

be helpul to jot down a ew items youd like

to talk about, have the children sing a song

or do a amily skit. Its not so much what you

say, but the act that you cared to get dressed

up and put efort into brightening your

loved ones day that will be remembered.

Telephone Calls

Telephone calls can bring the greatest emo-

tional highs as well as lows. Its wonderul

to hear your loved ones voice and talk in the

here and now, but sadness can briey over-

whelm you when you hang up and realize

how much you miss your loved one. Make

the most o your telephone conversations:

Keep a written list o things you want toMtalk about.

Try to stay positive and upbeat. At leastMtry to end each call on a positive note.

Talk about your daily activities to make itM

easier to reconnect at homecoming.

Suggest to older children that they keepMa list o things to tell their parent whenthey call.

I you share bad news make sure someoneMis available to provide emotional supportto your loved one.

Talk about plans or homecoming andM

uture activities.Discuss problems and solutions, butMdont spend the entire call talking aboutthem.

Keep in mind that it may be dicult orMyour Sailor to have a completely privatephone call.

Tell your loved one you love them andMappreciate their sacrices.


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Sailors have been deploying and their loved

ones have awaited their return over the cen-

turies, but waiting can be hard. Its not justday-to-day chores and responsibilities that

you must handle on your own, but the roller

coaster o emotions with which you have to

deal. Youre proud o your Sailor, but angry

they must deploy. You may worry that you

cant handle the additional responsibilities,

yet are condent you can. You ear or your

loved ones saety and your heart aches or

their return.

Emotional Ups and Downs of

Deployment

Much research has been done to understand

the common eelings Sailors and their ami-

lies experience when separated rom each

other due to a military assignment. You may

experience similar eelings or your reactions

may be very diferent. Tere is no such thing

as a right or wrong eeling. I you nd

youre eelings are getting in the way o you

doing the things you need to do caring

or children, going to work or school, taking

care o the house dont hesitate to contact

your Fleet and Family Support Center, a

chaplain or Military One Source or assis-

tance. Teir numbers are listed in the back

o this handbook.

Anticipation of Loss

Anticipating loss occurs beore deploy-

ment. Its a time o tension and conusing

emotions. For IA deployments it seems like

this phase is a never-ending series o com-

mand checkout actions required to deploy

overseas.

Your Emotions

You may be angry and resentul o the hours

required to get ready or departure. You

may or may not talk about your ear oryour Sailors saety. Service members eel

guilty that they are leaving their amilies.

Arguments and bickering are common.

Although irritating, it can be a way or you

to distance emotionally in preparation or

the separation.

Detachment and Withdrawal

Te day or two beore deployment can

be dicult. You stop sharing thoughts

and eelings with each other. Tis is a

natural response as separation is imminent.

Although physically together, you are

separated emotionally. Tis can be especially

dicult i it is seen as rejection rather than

as a reaction to trying circumstances. Oen

non-deploying spouses think, I you have

to go, go. And Sailors think, Lets get on

with it!

Emotional Disorganization

Once your Sailor leaves you may eel an ini-

tial sense o relie ollowed by guilt. You may

eel disorganized, depressed, or restless. Old

routines have been disrupted and new ones

not yet established. Its not unusual to eel

overwhelmed as you ace total responsibility

or amily afairs. Give yoursel a ew weeks,and youll begin to eel more in control.

TOP TIP

Acknowledge your feelings. Respect your

feelings. Dont let them overwhelm you.

Get help if needed


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Recovery

At some point during the deployment, new

routines are established. You eel more com-

ortable with the reorganization o roles and

responsibilities. New sources o support and

a new sense o independence and reedom are

developed.

For it was not into my ear you whispered,

but into my heart. It was not my lips you

kissed, but my soul.~Judy Garland

Hows Your Attitude?

While eelings can be dicult to control, it

is easier to manage your thoughts and atti-

tude towards this IA assignment. Attitude is

the state o mind with which you approach

a situation. Why is your attitude important?

It afects how you look, what you say and

what you do. It afects how you eel both

physically and emotionally. It largely afects

how successul you are in achieving your

purpose in lie. While talent is helpul and

knowledge is essential, the most important

key to success in any endeavor is your state

o mind.

With an IA assignment or

anything in lie you have a

choice to make. You can apply

a positive attitude and make

the best o a situation or you

can apply a negative attitude,

withdraw and complain.

Approaching lie with a positive attitude

is healthier or you and those around you.Make a list o goals you can achieve during

this separation and what steps you need to

take to reach them. Set mini goals or every

day, next week and next month. Completion

o goals gives you a sense o satisaction and

condence to achieve more.

Learn to recognize when you are having

negative thoughts, sel-doubts or eeling

overwhelmed. Your body sends signals. Youmay have a hard time sleeping, eat too much

or too little, have a short attention span, are

jumpy, grouchy or irritable. Pay attention to

your bodys signals and nip negativity beore

it impacts you.


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Proven Stress Busters

Even i youve experienced deployment be-

ore you may be uneasy about an IA deploy-

ment. IA deployments are oen longer, there

is the element o ear and danger, and you

may eel isolated rom riends who are not

sharing the same experiences. Expect stress

and plan or it.

Do something you enjoy.M Atleast once per week preerablydaily do something un. It maybe something as simple as reading abook or listening to music.

Get involved.M Work, go to churchservices, participate in organized

volunteer opportunities, takeclasses, do more with your children.

Stay active.M Exercise is the bodysnatural stress reducer. Ride yourbike, go to the gym, take the kidsand dog or a walk. Get moving!

Avoid using drugs, alcohol andMnicotine. While they dull the

perception o stress, they donteliminate it.

Accept that you cant controlMeverything. You can control yourreaction. Let your kids wear mis-matched outfts. So the house isnt

spotless. You have to renegotiate adeadline at work. You didnt get ane-mail or letter today.

Laugh.M Hang out with people whoare un. Watch comedies. Readthe comic pages. Listen to and tell

jokes.

Celebrate success.M Focus on whatyoure doing right. Everyone makesmistakes. Learn rom them andmove on. Use positive sel-talk.

Allow yourself to worry and feelMsad. However, allow only feen tothirty minutes per day. Schedule

worry time i necessary. Tat waywhen negative eelings creep upduring the day you can say to your-sel, Ill have time to think aboutthat later.

Ask for help when you need it.M

Friends, amily, colleagues careabout you. Everyone can use a handat times.

Remember, it is normal to eel a certain

amount o stress or worry whenever you ace

a new situation. I your eelings prevent you

rom managing your day-to-day responsibili-

ties get help. Contact your Fleet and Family

Support Center, a chaplain, or MilitaryOneSource.


26/56


o enable you and your loved one to grow together emotionally even though you are physically

apart requires commitment and communication.

Keep Your Relationship Strong

Successul marriages dont just happen they require constant commitment. Military couples

who have successul relationships ofer the ollowing suggestions or keeping your relationship

strong:

Your Family

You can kiss your amily and fiends

good-bye and put miles between you,but at the same time you carry them

with you in your heart, your mind, your

stomach, because you do not just live in

a world but a world lives in you.~ Frederick Buechner

Military life and marriage are vol-Muntary choices. Couples who keep

this act in mind are better able todeal with resentment that may occur

when they eel they lack control otheir circumstances.

A team approach.M Successul couplesembrace the military as their chosenliestyle, not just the job o theservice member. Tey believe success

requires active engagement o bothpartners.

Mutual respect and appreciation.MTe jobs o both the militarymember and the military spouse aredi cult and challenging and suc-cessul couples appreciate that andare committed to the success o eachother.

A realistic perspective of militaryMlife. Successul couples see their mili-tary journey as one chapter o theirlie together even or those whomake the military a career. Successulcouples accept the benets and chal-lenges o military lie and maintain arealistic perspective o their time as a

military amily.


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A desire to be prepared.M Success-ul military couples took marriage

preparation seriously rom thebeginning and continue to take

advantage o marriage retreats,parenting programs, deploymentbriengs and other programs tostrengthen their relationship and

prepare or challenges together.

A network of friends.M Supportthrough individual and jointriends helps provide support orthe couple, particularly during

deployments. Individual and jointriendships help provide support

particularly during deployments.

Trust in each other.M Trust is essen-tial to a successul relationship. Itis nurtured when you are togetherand apart.

Frequent, honest communication.M

While requent communicationmay be difcult during an IA de-

ployment, technological advanceshave made it easier. An importantaspect o communication is tounderstand the other person andattempt to convey thoughts andeelings in a way the other partner

will hear and appreciate.

Children and Deployment

Dont assume your child is aware and under-

stands that a parent is deploying. Be sure to

tell your child about the upcoming deploy-

ment. Reassure them that they will be caredor while mom or dad is away. Encourage

them to ask any questions they might have.

Allow children to miss their parent and

to eel sad about their absence. Encourage

communication with your child and allow

them to express any eelings they may have.

Children are oen conused, angry, worried

and eel insecure. It is important or you to

try to maintain your childs daily routine

and be consistent in discipline.

Most Navy kids are resilient and wil l

bounce back. I your child is struggling,

dont hesitate to contact your childs school

counselor, the Fleet and Family Support

Center, a chaplain or Military One Source

or assistance.


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Children and Deployment

Age What to Expect Ways to Help

Infants& Toddlers They may seem fussier,clingy, may eat less and

have trouble sleeping.

Have your spouse/childs caregiver:Record video/audio taped stories.

Post pictures o deployed parent.

Provide extra hugs and cuddles.

Maintain routine.

Take care o themselves to be better able tocare or children.

Preschoolers May feel their behaviorcaused their parent toleave.

May become more fearful/irritable.

May regress in pottytraining/thumb sucking/etc.

May have trouble sleeping.

Have your spouse/childs caregiver:

Record video/audio taped stories.

Create a waterproo photo album or picturebook o deployed parent and child doingthings together.

Provide extra hugs and cuddles.

Maintain routine.

Move your child back to their bed a ewweeks beore your expected return. Dontget too concerned i your child wants tosleep in mom and dads bed while youregone. It ofen provides a sense o security.

School-age May see a decline inschoolperformance.

More irritable or moody.

May worry about deployedparents safety.

Have amily discussion beore deployment.

Involve teachers, church, neighbors. Enroll in Big Brother/Sister Program.

Communicate regularly.

Reassure about saety training/drills/equipment.

Play games via email and regular mail.

Have your spouse/childs caregiver:

Schedule un activities.

Help child compile care packages to send todeployed parent.

Limit viewing o TV news about the war.Assist your child to send care packages,letters and cards to their parent and othersserving.

Teens May be ambivalent.

May be moody/withdrawn.

May test rules.

Communicate regularly.

Dont expect teen to take on your householdresponsibilities.

Ask spouse/caretaker to maintain rules,curews and discipline as much as possible.


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Command Ball Cap, T-shirt,

Jacket, etc.

Tese items can be given to children to1.wear while separated rom the deployedparent.

School-age children wear them as a sign2.o pride in the deployed parent and as a

way to eel closer to that parent.

Deployment Grab-Bag

Fill any type o bag with scraps o paper1.that have activities written on them, suchas, go to the zoo, whisper all day, read abook, take a walk, etc.

Children can glue them to their calendar2.page, and mail them to the deployed par-

ent or share them upon their return.Deployment Journal

Tis can be any type o notebook,1.scrapbook, diary, etc., used by the childor parent to write letters, thoughts, or toshare eelings with one another.

Adding memorabilia such as a baseball2.game ticket, ballet program, postcard,etc., along with journaling thoughts oreelings at the time, can make the eventcome alive. Remembering these eventsand special occasions help make thedeployed parent eel more involved.

Tis is especially useul i mail is going3.to be very slow or i there will be no mail(such as some submarine deployments).

Calendar Pages

Tis can be a purchased calendar, calen-1.dar pages created on a computer, or handdrawn pages.

Mark of the passing days o a deploy-2.ment.

Use the calendar as a journal to write in3.daily activities.

Each page can be mailed or reviewed at4.the end o the deployment.

Paper Chain

Tis chain is made with strips o1.construction paper, glued into cylindershapes and linked together.

Children tear of a link or each day2.(or one or each week) until Homecom-ing Day when the last link is le. Tisassists children in marking the passing otime.

Te paper chain can also be used as a3.journal. As each link is removed, thechildren can write something that hap-

pened that day (or week) to be mailed tothe deployed parent or shared upon theirreturn.

Or, each day/week, a link can be added4.to build a chain, in-cluding an activitydone during that day/

week, written on thelink. When the sailorreturns, they can read

what was accom-plished during thedeployment.

Deployment Activities for Kids

Te ollowing activities might help your child with deployment by increasing communication,

building pride in the Navy liestyle and tracking time.


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Holiday Post Card Mobile

Te deployed parent will send the child1.post cards to be colored.

Tese can be rom our holiday post card2.

activity, cut out o a coloring book, ordrawn by a parent.

Tey can show a holiday theme or any-3.thing o special signicance to the parentand child.

When the child receives the picture, he/4.she colors it, gets help enclosing it in clear

plastic (contact paper works great!), andpunches a small hole in it.

Tread a ribbon or string through the5.hole and attach it to pipe cleaners or

popsicle sticks to make into the shapeo a mobile to be hung in the childsroom or somewhere the child will see itrequently.

I the mail will be unreliable, the pictures6.can all be completed by the deploying

parent and le with the parent/caregiver

at home with the instructions o when togive each picture.

Decorated Pillowcase

A pair o old pillowcases can be used1.or the project. Te deploying parent

will decorate one or each child and thechild/children will decorate one or thedeploying parent.

Te spouse can even decorate the reverse2.side or the deploying spouse.

Be sure to use permanent markers so the3.pillowcase can be washed.

Map

Tis is used by the child during the1.deployment to ollow the ship through-out the world.

Give the child markers and stickers to2. keep track o the ship/unit.

Star Connection

Parents and child can work together to1.decorate a construction paper star oreach o them beore the deployment.

Spend time together looking at the stars2.in the night sky talking about being ableto look at the same stars while they areseparated.

Tey can then hang their decorated3.star somewhere they will see it oen toremind themselves o one another.

Flower Petals

Tis helps children track time during a1.deployment.

Parent spends time with their child2. decorating a Popsicle stick to look like afower stem.

Cut out 6 petals rom construction3.paper, which the parent takes with themon deployment.

Each month the parent writes a small4.message on a petal and sends it to thechild.

As the child receives the petals, they glue5.them to the stem. When the fower iscompleted it is time or homecoming.


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Ten Ways To Support Your Sailor Duringan IA Assignment

1. Get organized Te command will provide a checklist o items the Navy requires thatmust be done beore your Sailor deploys. You can also create a checklist o items thatneed to be done to make this separation easier or you and your children. Go to www.fsp.navy.mil and click on deployment checklists to get started.

2. Stay positive Long separations can seem unbearable. However, they do provide theopportunity or personal growth. Bolster each others condence that you can make itthrough the separation.

3. Manage the home ront Your Sailor will be able to ocus on the mission and stay saerby knowing you can handle daily responsibilities such as nances, your home and vehicle.

4. Discuss solutions Invariably challenges will arise while you are separated. ry not toocus on problems, but identiy possible solutions to problems.

5. Communicate Write letters, e-mail, send pictures and care packages. Communicateregularly. ell unny stories; send cartoons, orward upliing quotes. Maintain yourconnection.

6. ake care o yoursel Eat healthily. Exercise. Get plenty o rest. Stay physically and

emotionally strong. Knowing you are healthy reduces your Sailors worries.7. Care or your children Single parenting while your Sailor is deployed is challenging,

but knowing the children are being well cared or reduces your Sailors worries. Tisdoesnt mean you should never go out and have un. Quite the contrary. Its important totake time or yoursel. Your children need a break rom you occasionally, too! Locate a

wonderul child care provider and take a break rom single parenting at least a ew hourseach week.

8. ell your Sailor you love them Absence really does make the heart grow onder. Makea point to tell your Sailor you love them every chance you get. ry to limit venting

your rustrations so your Sailor looks orward to his/her communications with you.

9. Watch or signs o stress You know your Sailor better than anyone else in the world.Pay attention to signs o stress while deployed or upon returning rom an IA assignment.Although everyone has an of day or two, i your Sailor consistently seems moody, angryor depressed suggest they talk with a chaplain, contact Military OneSource, Fleet andFamily Support Center or the Veterans Administration. Contact inormation is at theend o this booklet.

10. Get help when you need it Supporting your Sailor, especially during an IA assignmentin a combat zone, is challenging. Te Navy knows this and has a number o programs

and services to assist you. Dont let situations get out o control. Get help to preventminor problems rom becoming major ones.

Family members who have supported their Sailor through an IA assignment ofer the ollowing

suggestions:


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Rest and Recuperation (R&R) leave is

chargeable leave available to give service

members rest rom a combat zone. Tere aretwo types o R&R leave:

A our day pass to sae locations near the1.theater o operations such as Camp AlSaliyah, Qatar.

A feen day pass out o the theater o2.

operations.

R&R leave is a privilege, not an entitlement.

Service members must be in theater or atleast sixty days beore they are allowed R&R

leave. R&R leave within the last sixty days o

deployment is strongly discouraged.

ravel time to and rom R&R leave is not

charged as leave. Your Sailors command is

not allowed to have more than ten percent o

their personnel away at any time which may

impact when your Sailor can take leave. Air

travel is provided to the commercial airportclosest to the R&R travelers leave address.

Leave begins to be charged the day aer

your Sailor arrives at the commercial airport

closest to his/her leave address. Only one

feen day trip will be authorized in a twelve

month period.

R&R Leave

R&R Leave Expectations

Families and Sailors oen view R&R leave

almost as a honeymoon period, but ex-pectations and reality oen dont mesh. You

want to make the most o the time together,

but there are some barriers that can be a

challenge:

Sailors generally return exhausted aerMtraveling or twenty-our hours or more.

I you have children their needs may takeM

precedence over the needs o parents.Extended amily members want to shareMthis time together.

Oen R&R leave comes during non-Mvacation time or the IAs amily chil-dren are in school and the spouse mustcontinue to work.

Some IA Sailors dont really get awayMrom their responsibilities as they con-

tinue to receive phone calls and e-mailsrom work.

owards the end o the R&R leave periodMyour Sailor may begin to reocus onreturning back to the job so they separateemotionally. Similarly, you also maybegin to distance yoursel emotionally to

prepare or the rest o the time apart.


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R&R leave can be a wonderul time together

or you and your spouse. Plan or R&R leave

just as you planned or deployment and youwill plan or homecoming:

Be aware o the challenges associatedMwith R&R leave.

Allow time or your Sailor to rest.M

Pace activities. Everyday does not haveMto be flled to the brim.

I you have children, be sensitive toM

their needs. Explain to them that theirparent will be home temporarily andthat they must return to duty. Expectsome attention-getting behavior when

your Sailor is home and some acting outbehaviors as your Sailor prepares to leave.Your children may respond to their par-ents departure very similarly to the waythey did initially.

Limit the honey-do list.M

Be protective o your time together.M

Each amily is unique. alk with your

spouse and be honest with your eelings

about how you want to spend the time

together. Dont make the mistake o doing

what you think your Sailor will want.

R&R Leave Tips

Extended Time Away

Many Navy spouses choose to go back home

to live during a deployment or to go or anextended visit. I youre able to stay with

parents or other amily members during the

deployment, its a great way to save money by

not having to pay household expenses. I you

have young children, or i your children are

out o school, its also a great way or them to

get to know grandparents and other amily

members better.

I you are planning to stay with amily during

the deployment, note that this is not covered

in the military clause o most leases. Tere

may be hey fnancial penalties involved in

breaking your lease. Check with your PSD to

see i your orders will allow you to break your

lease without penalty or i you will be autho-

rized to move at Government expense.

When away rom your house or several daysor several weeks:

Notiy your Command Ombudsman/MNOSC/parent command with your con-tact address, telephone number, etc.

I possible, have your telephone callsMorwarded.

Stop your newspaper and orward your mail.M

Have a plan in place to have the grassM

mowed or snow shoveled.

Use a timer or lights.M

I you have a trusted neighbor tell themMwhen you are going to be away and pro-vide contact inormation.

Ask your local police to check your homeMperiodically.

Contact RICARE health care systemMat www.tricare.osd.mil when youre awayrom home or more than thirty days toensure you maintain coverage.


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Spouses and children o personnel deployed

120 days or longer can use military trans-

port in CONUS, to/rom CONUS, and

within/between theater, provided theyhave a verication letter rom the military

members commander. Family members,

regardless o where they are based, may

travel unaccompanied or unlimited times

during the deployment when seats are avail-

able. Children under the age o 18 need an

eligible parent or legal guardian to travel

with them.

Te travel option is also available to Guardand Reserve amilies, as well as Navy ami-

lies whose military sponsor is assigned to a

deployed ship with PCS orders.While many

may use the privilege to visit parents and

grandparents, the guidelines do not restrict

travel to home o record or amily-based

visits. Tat makes the policy more equitable

and useul, since many peoples extended

amilies may not live in their home orecord. In addition, some amilies may nd

help and encouragement in a visit to riends

at a previous base, or through a low-cost

vacation getaway.

Space A, which is based on availability, oen

involves waiting to gain space on a fight

(and the government wont cover meals,

lodging or other costs associated with that).Even so, amilies especially those with

children could nd this to be a real boost

to their travel budget. A amily o our based

on the West Coast who wants to travel to

the East Coast to stay with grandparents

or a ew weeks could potentially save up to

a ew thousand dollars in airline tickets. O

course, theres no guarantee with Space A

fights, but or those who can take the time,the opportunity or ree fights can be not

only a morale-booster, but also a money-

saver.

Free Space A Flights for Families of Deployed


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1. Create a list Beore your Sailor even leaves create a list o things to do. I you havechildren include plans or them. Get your calendar out and schedule as many o theseactivities as you can.

2. Join a Family Readiness Group Get involved with a Family Readiness Group. Join anArmy, Air Force or Marine Corps sponsored group i you dont live near a Navy base.Start, or join a group o other IA spouses. Find a virtual group on the Internet. Tis isa great way to meet other military spouses, to eel understood and to be supported

during your Sailors absence.

3. Work I you already have a job, this is a great time to ocus on working toward careergoals. I you do not have a job, but would like one, contact your local Fleet and FamilySupport Center as they can help you assess your skills, create a resume, do a job searchand prepare or interviews all at no cost!

4. Volunteer It can be easy to slip into sel-pity and sadness when your Sailor is gone,but i you reach out to help others you will constantly be reminded o your goodortune. Assist battered spouses, deliver meals to the elderly, deliver books to patients inthe hospital, care or homeless kittens and puppies, or help disaster victims rebuild their

lives.

5. Be more involved at church Contact your minister or chaplain and let them knowyoud like to be more involved. You can teach classes, greet worshipers, staf the nursery,provide readings during the service, and participate in study groups. While you giveyoull also receive support.

6. Get t While your Sailor is deployed is the perect time to get into the best shape oyour lie. Work out everyday. Join a gym. Get a personal trainer. ake aerobic, Pilates,yoga classes. Dazzle your Sailor upon their return!

7. Redecorate Whether its an extreme makeover or simply painting and rearrangingurniture, sprucing up your house or apartment can be very satisying. Watch homedecorating channels. Wander through home urnishing departments. Review decoratingbooks and magazines to create a home t or a queen or king or you and your Sailor.

8. ravel Visit amily, a college room mate or your best riend rom school.

9. Add to your education ake a class or complete a degree. Many Navy amily memberssay its easier to study when their Sailor is deployed.

10. Have un ry to do something you enjoy everyday as time ies when youre having

un. It may be something as simple as chatting on the phone with a riend, surng theweb, reading a book or taking a walk or something as elaborate as planning a trip orcreating a masterpiece.creating a masterpiece.

Ten Ways to Stay Busy During an IAAssignmentDo not put your lie on hold until your Sailor returns. You may grow to

resent your Sailor. Additionally, youll have more interesting conversations and send more

entertaining letters and e-mails i you are active and involved during your separation. Finally,

time goes by aster when youre busy.


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One o the best aspects o Navy lie is Navy

homecomings. Absence really can make the

heart grow onder! Homecomings are difer-ent aer an IA assignment. Rather than re-

turning with a squadron or ship, IA Sailors

generally come back by themselves, oen to

little anare. Some Sailors say this is a bit o

a let down, and others are happy not to have

to deal with the hoopla. Youll need to get a

sense rom your Sailor what their individual

preerences are or celebrating homecoming.

Homecoming

Expectations

Reunion is an exciting time however; what

you plan and the realism o what actually oc-curs can sometimes be very diferent. Once

your Sailor is back in the states, there is a

signicant demobilization process including

turning in gear, a physical exam, mental

health screening and check in with various

base departments. Your Sailor will usually

receive a period o leave beore returning

to ull duty. Like all separation reunions,

you will encounter a period o reintegrationwhere roles and relationships are reshaped.

Returning home aer being in a war zone is

a process not a single event. Your Sailor may

have diculty adjusting to lie aer war.

Your lie will not be exactly as it was beore

your Sailors deployment as you both have

had diferent experiences. You may notice

changes in your Sailor immediately or it may

be three or our months beore they appear,or you may not notice any changes at all.

Your Sailor spent months in a hyped-up

emotional state while in a war zone. Your

Sailor may sufer a stress injury rom their

combat experience. Tey may be uncomort-

able in large crowds and easily startled by

loud noises. Tey may have trouble trusting

anyone. I they witness the deaths o others

during their IA assignment they may set up

an emotional rewall and keep loved ones at

a distance as a way o protecting themselves

rom the pain o possibly losing a loved one.

A great marriage is not when the perfect

couple comes together. It is when an imperfect

couple learns to enjoy their differences.~Dave Meurer


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Tey may not be willing to talk about their

experiences while deployed. Dont pry and

try not to be shocked by anything your

Sailor may tell you. Let them know youll be

there or them.

Tey may have diculty sleeping. Tey may

have nightmares or ashbacks. Tey may

drink or sel-medicate to avoid eelings or

thoughts associated with their IA tour. It

may take weeks or months or some o these

behaviors to occur.

As a amily member you may be the rst to

become aware that your Sailor is experienc-

ing symptoms o post traumatic stress. Posttraumatic stress is a reaction to the extreme

stress people encounter during threats o

danger to themselves or others or the ear o

death.

Symptoms may include:

Depression.M

Loss o interest in work/activities.M

Isolation.M

Anger.M

Sleep problems.M

Survivor guilt.M

Hyper alertness.M

Emotional distance rom amily.M

High risk behaviors.M

A negative sel-image.M

Emotional numbing.M

Distrust o authority.M

Suicidal thoughts.M

I youd like to learn more about what to

expect i your Sailor is returning rom a

combat zone, two helpul, inexpensive and

easy to read books are:

Down Range To Iraq and Back1. byBridget C. Cantrell, PH.D and ChuckDean.

Courage Afer Fire2. by Keith Arm-strong, LCSW, Suzanne Best, PH.D and

Paula Domenici, PH.D.

Both books ofer practical advice to service

members and their amilies, are inexpensiveand available rom popular books sellers.

Contact a chaplain, Fleet and Family Sup-

port Center, Military OneSource or the Vet-

erans Administration or more inormation

or to get assistance or you and your Sailor.

Tips for a Successful

Homecoming

Be realistic. All o your homecomingMantasies may not occur.

Communicate. alk about yourMthoughts and eelings.

Re-evaluate your nancial goals.M

Be slow to criticize.M

Show appreciation or those whoMhave supported you through thisdeployment.

alk with other IAs and theirMamilies as you are not the only onereadjusting to homecoming.

Get help i the challenges o return-Ming home get worse instead o better.


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Children and Reunion

Reunion is a time o excitement, joy and

readjustment. Younger children take their

cues about homecoming rom you, their

caretaker. Older children may have similar

eelings as you do. Tey will be excited, joy-

ous and may eel anxious i they believe they

did not live up to their deployed parents

expectations.

Oen the parent who has been at home is re-

luctant to share the responsibility o parent-

ing. It is important or children to see both

parents in the caretaking role. It also al lows

the parent returning rom a war zone toexperience the innocence, intimacy and joy

that caring or their children can provide.

Just as parents need time to reestablish

relationships, so do children. Its best or the

returning parent to initially not make dras-

tic changes to their childrens routine, rules

and responsibilities. Children will likely go

to the parent who has remained at home

with them or the frst ew days upon theirdeployed parents return or permission,

questions and assistance.

I possible, plan a ew days and have a amily

vacation at home. Do un activities as a am-

ily. Limit house cleaning and chores to the

essentials. alk, play, listen and enjoy being a

amily again.

Duty nights can be challenging aer an

extended deployment as young children may

worry that their parent has again le. Older

children are usually delighted that their

amily is reunited even though they may, at

times, resent the discipline enorced by hav-

ing two parents at home.

TOP TIP

At homecoming talk, play, listen and

enjoy being a family again.


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It is possible you will have questions, con-

cerns or a amily emergency at some point

during the deployment. Tere are somethings you can do to prepare or an emer-

gency such as:

Have money saved or emergencies.M

Consider having your Sailor sign a pre-Mauthorization orm with Navy-MarineCorps Relie Society in case o nancialemergency.

Make sure your extended amily membersMknow your Sailors rate/rank, commandname and mailing address.

Have a disaster preparedness plan and aMplace to meet/call aer a disaster such asa hurricane or earthquake.

Make sure you have a support sys-Mtem people you can turn to orassistance.

Te Navy knows that you may need as-sistance rom time to time and has created

a plethora o services available to assist you

during deployment or anytime.

Help When You Need It

Command Ombudsman

Ombudsmen are volunteers, appointed by

the commanding ocer, to serve as an inor-mation link between command leadership

a