Sports Car Stage Play Midlife Crisis

A One Act Play by Craig Forgrave & Jill Joyce

SPORTS CAR

Forgrave/Joyce Page 1

SPORTS CAR

by

Craig Forgrave & Jill Marie Joyce

First Prize Winner:

Canadian National Playwriting Competition

Solange Karsh Gold Medal

Birks Gold Medal

C. Forgrave and J.M. Joyce

© Sportscar Projects Ltd.

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CHARACTERS

GEORGE......A middle-aged divorced man.

ANNE........A middle-aged divorced woman.

SETTING

The present. A bar and a car share a bare stage.


(The stage is dark. On STAGE RIGHT are two chairs

representing a sports car. The chairs have very short

legs. On the driver's chair rests a steering wheel. On

STAGE LEFT are two barstools with a small table between

them. Seated on the stools are GEORGE and ANNE. A

bright light illuminates GEORGE as he sits, sipping a

drink.)

GEORGE

Hey, Fred! Did you put any alcohol

in this drink?

(Looks around at the darkness.)

Slow tonight, eh? Say, you like

dreams? Let me tell you about the

one I had last night. I'm in the

supermarket and I see this

wonderful woman. She is a vision:

young, vibrant, smart, fun,

sensual, caring, good cook. For

her I would have done anything,

just to be with her, to touch her,

hold her. I start to chase her

down the aisles but she stays

teasingly just out of reach. As I

am about to give up, she stops by

the bakery and reaches behind the

counter and gives me a piece of

apple pie. She smiles, wetting

her lips with her tongue. I take

one bite, a glorious mouthful and

then I die horribly! All twisted


GEORGE (Cont.)

up! They say you're not supposed

to die in your dreams, you're

supposed to wake up. Maybe I want

to die? But God, what a woman!

Ever had a dream like that?

(Light goes out on GEORGE and we now see the other

person on the stool beside him. It is ANNE, a bright

light illuminates her.)

ANNE

I have a dream where I meet

this dream of a guy. He's

tall, powerful, funny, sexy,

rich, tender. We're walking in

this forest and we're holding

hands. He's telling me a story

and I'm laughing and then his

hand feels funny. Hairy. I

look down and I'm holding the

hand of a monster. A huge

hairy monster. I can't get

free. He holds me tight. I

can't bear it but I look at his

face and it's the face of my

ex-husband, old Stoneheart.

Then I wake up. Sometimes the

face is Pope John Paul II.

Sometimes, he's my father. And

sometimes it's the face of an


ANNE (Cont.)

ass. That must be men in

general. No offence, Fred.

Say, did you put any alcohol in

this drink?

(Lights up and we see GEORGE and ANNE. They ignore each

other. GEORGE picks up the classified section of a

newspaper.)

GEORGE

(Reading from newspaper)

Young attractive woman seeks

healthy, wealthy, mature,

physical, funny, sexy gentleman

for companionship.

(Puts down paper.)

Well, she should be calling me

any minute now!

(Turns a few pages.)

67 Mustang, rebuilt, new

brakes, mags, CD player. Call

592-0001. Ask for the

Snake...66 Jag XKE, low

mileage, immaculate, red, two

tops, complete repair record.

Must sell.

(Folds up paper.)

That was the ad that changed

my life. My wife was playing

tennis like every Saturday


GEORGE (Cont.)

and I was left to my own

devices.

(Gets up and walks over to STAGE RIGHT and the two

chairs)

The guy had to sell because

he was getting divorced but

you should have seen the car!

ANNE

My husband, out of the blue

one day comes home with this

car. It was a foreign car, a

convertible. It was a sports

car. I suppose it went fast,

Stoneheart never let me drive

it. All I remember was that

it looked like a huge penis.

The hood was long and pointed

and there was this round

cockpit, I guess you

call it, where the driver

sits. He drove home in

this...penis - all boyish and

innocent. He couldn't stop

grinning. He fondled that

car more than he ever did me.


GEORGE

(Walking around car.)

So, it's a 66? Boy, it's in

good shape! Can I get in and

start it up?

(GEORGE sits down in driver's chair, picks up steering

wheel.)

SOUND

(Roar of car, starting up and idling.)

GEORGE

Sounds good. Sounds good.

Boy, listen to that big cat

purr! How do I look? What's

she like for repairs?

ANNE

I took a taxi tonight because

my car is broken again. Two

days ago I was stopped at a

light and smoke started

billowing out from under the

hood. My mechanic said that

if I stopped and got it fixed

then it wouldn't have been so

expensive but I was in a

hurry. Yesterday, the smoke

turned all different colours.

Black and blue and a little

red. You could see people


ANNE (Cont.)

start to avoid you on the

road. This morning, the

smoke didn't seem so bad; it

was all one colour so I

thought it was just a

temporary thing. When I got

to work this morning it just

burst into flames. Luckily

we have fire extinguishers at

work and we got the fire out

real quick. After work

though, it wouldn't start so

I had to get it towed. It's

going to be a big repair job

but because of the fire, the

insurance is going to pay for

it.

GEORGE

Nice kid you got there. So,

how much you want for it?

Really? God, it's tempting!

How long you had it?

Man...can I take it for a

short spin? Thanks!

(GEORGE steers the car.)

SOUND

(Car drives off, engine noise fades away.)


ANNE

The other day at the

supermarket I was bending

over feeling some oranges and

I felt these eyes on me. You

know how you can just feel

someone looking at you?

Well, I stood up and looked

around and it was this

eighteen-year-old stock boy!

He was staring right at me.

You know how he was staring!

He didn't think I was

stealing oranges, I can tell

you that! So I smiled at him

and went on my way. I still

feel good thinking about it.

(ANNE gets off her barstool and walks over to the car,

sits down in passenger seat.)

SOUND

(Engine idling.)

ANNE

(Looking at GEORGE.)

Why didn't you tell me you

were going to buy a sports

car?


GEORGE

You weren't around. Besides,

I've always wanted one.

ANNE

We always discuss major

purchases.

GEORGE

I got out of bed this morning

and it was the thing to do.

ANNE

You could have waited until I

got home.

GEORGE

You should know a bargain

doesn't wait. You shouldn't

leave me alone. I can't be

trusted.

ANNE

What's that supposed to mean?

GEORGE

Come on! I'll take you for a

spin.

ANNE

Just a short one.


(GEORGE laughs as he take off, the roar of the engine

drowns out ANNE's scream.)

SOUND

(Engine purring, wind in their hair.)

ANNE

Shouldn't we be turning

around?

GEORGE

Sit back and relax. Enjoy

the ride.

ANNE

How can I. You're driving

like a maniac! Look at my

hair! Can we put the top up?

GEORGE

Put the top up? (Laughs)

Put the top up?

SOUND

(Engine roars as GEORGE steps on the accelerator.

Suddenly, we hear a squeal of tires, a skid and the

engine slowly idling.)


ANNE

(Terrified.)

Didn't you see that guy?

GEORGE

Sure! We had plenty of room!

ANNE

It was a solid line!

GEORGE

Road signs are for wimps!

(GEORGE gets out of car. ANNE remains in passenger

seat, still terrified. GEORGE walks over to barstool,

sits down.)

GEORGE

Men and women have totally

different views on sex. Women

like intimacy and men like

frequency. Women like monogamy

and men like variety. We are

basically imcompatable and this

is the fundamental problem with

relationships. The only

solution I can see is a harem.

Sure it would be tough on the

guy but, hell, it's better than

what we've got now. 'Course,

more and more women want to be


GEORGE (Cont.)

men nowadays so my idea doesn't

have a chance. That's the

trouble with good ideas, they

never have a chance...Do you

know the difference between

love and evil? Just the "i".

Evil is love spelt backwards

with an "o" instead of an "i".

Now, this is really

significant! Love is evil,

evil is love! You've been

warned. I know a few more but

I can't tell you, it's too

shocking!

ANNE

(Still in car.)

There used to be a couple who

lived next door who used to

have huge fights. The curious

thing was, they'd only fight

when I had my period. The rest

of the time they were quiet as

church mice. I think that is

really significant.


GEORGE

Our neighbours were ordinary

people. Boring most of the

time. We were closest to Fred

and Diane across the street.

They were our age and income

bracket. I had an affair with

Diane one summer. Then they

moved away...

ANNE

(Gets out of car.)

I don't need to tell you how

different my marriage was once

Stoneheart bought his sports

car.

(ANNE walks around car, admiring it.)

Men are like dogs, always

looking for a new spot to bury

their bone. But it was a nice

car. In fact, it was the only

thing I insisted on during the

divorce. I got the car. The

judge gave me Stoneheart's

big, red, fuel-injected penis!

(ANNE gets in driver's side.

Starts car.)

SOUND

(Roar of engine, aggressive revving.)


GEORGE

I was upstairs one time,

working as usual, when I heard

this loud bang. I could feel

something hit the floor like

someone was pounding on the

ceiling below me with a

broomstick. I ran downstairs

and found my wife at the stove

and several hard boiled eggs

stuck to the ceiling.

Apparently if you boil eggs

until there is no water left

in the pot, the eggs explode

with terrific force. This is

not mentioned in any cookbook

so it came as a complete

surprise to my wife.

(Laughs.)

I thought women came to this

bar, Fred?

ANNE

(Driving car)

My ex-husband was an

outdoorsman. At least he

seemed to think so. We used

to camp every summer. Really

camp. No trailers! No way!

That wasn't camping! Had to

be on the ground. Rustic.


ANNE (Cont.)

Once we camped in a field on a

long weekend because there

wasn't any other place. I

remember it vividly. It was a

beautiful summer evening, the

sun just setting. We were

feeling lucky we had found a

spot to camp after looking for

hours! I had just hammered

the last tent peg and

Stoneheart had just unpacked

the folding chairs when we

heard these motorcycles. Sure

enough, this huge biker gang

appears over the horizon.

First, of course, they circle

around for a while looking for

the best spot which, of

course, happened to be where

we were. So, with night

rapidly approaching, they set

up camp all around us, smiling

at us, real friendly. Well,

Mr. Macho goes to bed early

that night, let me tell you!

I kept telling him to go out

and tell the bikers to keep

quiet. He pretended to be

asleep. That was the only


ANNE (Cont.)

night of our whole marriage

that he didn't snore.

(ANNE stops engine, gets out of car.)

GEORGE

(Watching ANNE)

Hey, Fred! Some lady just

pulled into the parking lot!

Probably wants to use the

phone. I doubt if she wants a

drink, some company, maybe a

warm body to hold...Who knows

what she wants?

(ANNE sits down on barstool.)

GEORGE

I want the normal middle-class

life like everyone else.

Everything in moderation. My

wife, ex-wife, was an

overachiever. I think most

women are overachievers. They

all want their husbands to be

Donald Trump or Michael

Crichton.


ANNE

(Low whistle.)

Evening, Fred. You know,

you're the only guy I whistle

at. Most guys don't deserve

the compliment. Say, that a

new guy in here?

(ANNE points at GEORGE)

Fred, what do you think the

chances are he'd buy me a

drink?

GEORGE

Fred, you think I'm getting

old? I look older but I don't

feel older. I'm still

attracted to twenty-year-olds

the same as when I was twenty.

To me, this is normal. I'm not

surprised. I feel the male has

this primeval instinct to seek

out the ripest, freshest female

for social and reproductive

purposes. It's instinct, I

can't control it. This is not

an excuse, mind you, for

cavorting with women half my

age but it should create some

measure of sympathy...

(Takes a drink, a long one.)


ANNE

It's tough being on your own.

No one to share life's ups and

downs. My two daughters are

teenagers now and are

independent. It's all up to me

and sometimes I'm not up to it.

Sometimes you just have to get

out of the house. I'm not here

every night, am I Fred?

GEORGE

(Looks at ANNE.)

Excuse me, but could I buy you

a drink?

ANNE

Certainly. That's why I'm

here.

GEORGE

What? So that I can buy you a

drink?

ANNE

(Laughs)

No. To have a drink. That's

why I'm here at this bar. To

have a drink.


GEORGE

(Laughs)

Oh. I thought you meant you

were here to get men to buy you

drinks.

ANNE

No, I have a job. I have

money. I don't need men to buy

me drinks.

GEORGE

You're just here to have a

drink, then.

ANNE

Right.

GEORGE

Well, have one on me. I hope

you enjoy it. Fred? A drink

for the lady, whatever she

wants...

ANNE

(Looks at audience.)

Actually, this guy may be

alright. I don't like a guy

that's too smooth. I like to

keep them off guard. That way,

I stay in control. It's hard


ANNE (Cont.)

to judge a man in a bar, the

lighting is so bad.

GEORGE


When I meet a woman I like to

ask her what her favorite

things are. You can find out

so much about a person once you

know their favorite things.

You know, books, movies,

sports, stuff like that. The

ideal woman for me would answer

like this: favorite book - the

Joy of Sex, favorite movie -

the Dirty Dozen, favorite sport

- football, favorite food –

home-made, favorite TV show -

whatever's on, favorite

relative - a dead one.

ANNE

I have two lovely daughters,

Jenny and Beth. They're both

terrific kids with a passionate

desire to make their own

mistakes. I see a lot of

myself in them: their

attitudes, their adventure,

their taste in men. Jenny, the


ANNE (Cont.)

oldest, came home one day with

purple hair and a new

boyfriend. He had pink hair

all spiked up. Young kids have

all the fun! Beth is good at

school and wants to be a

biologist. She's always

letting things spoil in the

fridge and taking them to

school. Maybe she'll learn how

to turn a frog into a prince.

Jenny's hopeless in school.

Her ambition, such as it is, is

to be a model.

GEORGE

I snore a lot which endears me

to a lot of women. I think it

will bring me a premature and

ugly death. I know this for

certain because I have been

beaten up and abused by several

women who I would normally call

caring, considerate people.

For me, getting a woman into

bed has never been much of a

problem. Keeping them there

after I fall asleep has been a

bitch. If they don't just


leave, they try anything to

stop my snoring. One girl put

a plastic bag over my head

while I was sleeping. I tell

ya, you want a shock, try

waking up out of a deep sleep

with a plastic bag over your

head and a naked girl

screaming, "die, you bastard,

die!"

ANNE

(Looks at GEORGE)

So, do you work for a living?

GEORGE

My name's George. And you?

ANNE

I work as a supervisor of a

word processing group.

GEORGE

Surely they wouldn't give you

an important job like that if

you didn't have a name?

ANNE

Anne.


GEORGE

I run a desktop publishing

house. Typesetting, printing,

copying. All kinds of

services.

ANNE

How long have you been

divorced?

GEORGE

I used to be an accountant.

And you?

ANNE

Sixteen months.

GEORGE


One night after a tiring day,

my wife insisted we go out for

a romantic dinner and dance.

We went to a small, intimate

restaurant and had a lovely

meal. I have to admit we

danced 'till quite late and had

a wonderful time. My wife said

it was the longest we had been

together, just talking,

touching since the start of

recorded history. It was a


GEORGE (Cont.)

magic evening as I look back

now, but we never did it again.

ANNE


My favorite thing to do in the

whole world is to soak in the

tub. First, you have to get

naked and wrap yourself in the

thickest, warmest robe you can

find. Then you go in the bath

and shut the world out. The

water has to be on full blast

and you scan your cabinet full

of bubbles, oils and scents.

Like a great chef, you pour a

little of this, a pinch of that

and then you watch as the tub

fills up. Then you tie up your

hair, feeling the warm, humid

air on your neck and then, all

at once, you throw off your

robe and slide in, the bubbles

parting and then reforming.

The water is hot, so hot you

can barely stand it. Then,

reaching for your hair band,

you release your hair and sink

beneath the bubbles, totally


ANNE (Cont.)

immersed. Then you count to

ten.

(GEORGE gets up from barstool and walks to the car.)

GEORGE

(Walking around the car.)

When I was nineteen, I was at

this party and we were all

having a good time. Every

party has a lull sometime when

it gets quiet and people catch

their second wind. It was

during one of those quiet times

when some guy yells out, "Hey,

let's drive to Florida!" and

like crazy fools, we all

thought that was the greatest

idea since zip-top cans. So,

we all piled into the car, a

Datsun B210 I think, and we

headed south. We made it to

Florida, bought some beer and

drove home. By that time, of

course, the party was over.

(GEORGE, while talking, puts on a leather jacket,

driving gloves, racing cap and white scarf. He gets in

the driver's seat and starts up the car.)


GEORGE

About a week after I got the

car, I went out for a Sunday

drive by myself. As I was

backing out of the driveway, my

next door neighbour's daughter

jumps into the passenger seat.

Can you believe that? She was

seventeen and she was in shorts

and a bikini top. I remember

her as a little brat of five or

six.

ANNE

So, I'm on my way home from

tennis with the girls and I see

old Stoneheart driving along

Beach Drive with the

neighbour's daughter. They

don't notice me, of course.

I'm the furthest thing on their

minds.

GEORGE

All she wanted was a ride to

the beach. I didn't know what

I wanted or how to get it. I

asked her how her father was...


ANNE

Of course, the first thing I

thought of was that poor girl's

father. He bought a Corvette,

left the family, just drove

away. That was two years ago.

That girl had been wild ever

since.

(ANNE walks over to the car. She unbuttons her top,

hikes it up and ties it in a knot in front. She gets in

the passenger seat.)

GEORGE

Her hair was blowing

everywhere, she had a mouth

made for licking ice cream

cones and a laugh that made my

chest vibrate.

ANNE

(Looks at GEORGE.)

Come on, George! Boot it!

(Laughs)

GEORGE

I'm already over the speed

limit now!


ANNE

Come on! Rules are for wimps!

We're going to break all the

rules!

GEORGE

What do you think we're going

to do?

ANNE

Come on, George! Look at you!

The scarf, the gloves, the hat!

I get rides from guys like you

all the time!

GEORGE

Guys like me? Oh.

ANNE

So, how come you and your wife

aren't getting along?

GEORGE

What kind of a question is

that? It's none of your

business!

ANNE

Thought so! You used to sit

out on the deck after supper

all the time. What's her name?


GEORGE

Anne.

ANNE

Thought so! Anne or Alice or

Elizabeth. Something like

that! So, Alice got another

man, or what?

GEORGE

Listen, you little-

ANNE

Thought so! You're the hot

one, aren't you? You don't

look after the yard the way you

used to! Other things on your

mind?

GEORGE

That's it! Out of the car!

(GEORGE stops car, turns off engine.)

ANNE

Come on! This could be your

lucky day! Drive on to the

beach. We'll have a swim.

It'll be fun. Who knows

what'll happen...


GEORGE

You're my next door neighbour's

daughter, for God's sake!

ANNE

Come on, George. You've got to

start somewhere!

(GEORGE starts car, continues driving. Anne gets out,

unties her top and buttons it up as she walks to

barstool.)

ANNE

(Look at audience)

He was a real charmer, old

Stoneheart. He used to set up

a timer every time I'd phone my

mother. I was allowed ten

minutes. Of course, that was

like waving a red flag in front

of a bull. I would talk about

useless prattle for the first

nine and one-half minutes and

then say something really

important just when I was

supposed to hang up. Asking my

mother how she was feeling was

always a good one. We'd make

up some terrible disease and go

on and on about it. I'd be

talking and he'd be pointing


ANNE (Cont.)

frantically at the timer. He

finally gave up. He was always

coming up with stupid ideas

like that!

(GEORGE gets out of the car, takes off his jacket,

gloves, cap and scarf. He walks to barstool.)

GEORGE

I don't think history is

accurate. I'm a great believer

in human nature. I mean, do

you believe Alexander Graham

Bell's first words on the

telephone were, "Come here,

Watson, I need you!" No way!

What he said was, "Hang up,

Watson, my wife wants to use

the phone!"

ANNE

I suppose it is a bad sign me

coming to a bar all alone,

drinking. Don't worry, my

problem isn't drinking. It's

sleeping. I sleep around four

hours a night. I've tried

everything but I think the only

cure is happiness and you can't


ANNE (Cont.)

just order that when you need

it. Last night I was up until

four o'clock. But it's not all

bad, I get to catch up on my

reading. I must have read

"Princess Daisy" about fifty

times!

GEORGE

I wanted to go on a vacation

recently but it's a real

problem. You really can't go

anywhere where there are

families or couples. Since my

divorce, I've been to Vegas

eight times! If I had any

ambition, I'd start a tour

company for divorced guys. I'd

fly them to a remote island

full of eighteen-year-old

girls, Corvette convertibles

and a poker table the size of

Saskatchewan.

ANNE

When I was sixteen, my father

gave me my own charge card.

The only condition was that I

had to bring 'round all my


ANNE (Cont.)

boyfriends for him to meet.

I was so busy buying clothes, I

didn't have time to meet

anybody. I gave the card back

when I was twenty-three. It

was the saddest day of my life.

The next day I got married.

When I was seventeen, I went to

Florida with some girlfriends

at spring break. There were

six of us. I packed for a week

before we went. It was the

best week I ever had but I'll

be damned if I can remember

what we did. I know I'd love

to do it all again, whatever it

was. One thing I do remember

was standing on the beach and a

big wave knocking me over.

Took my bikini top and swept it

out to Cuba. That was a real

thrill. I made a lot of

friends that day.

GEORGE

I should have known things

weren't going to work out when

I bought the station wagon.

There is something odd that

happens to you when you buy a


GEORGE (Cont.)

station wagon. I know. I felt

like I had just gained two

hundred pounds overnight. I

mean, when you dream about what

kind of car you want, you think

fast, sleek, sexy and powerful.

When "roomy" gets to the top of

the list, you're in deep

trouble!

ANNE

I've got an appointment with a

cosmetic surgeon next week to

get an estimate for some

cosmetic alterations. A little

tuck here, a little stretch

there, a little suction here.

Ten days later I'm ten years

younger. I always thought I'd

grow old gracefully and have a

lovely weathered face like my

grandmother. You could see her

whole life in her face. I

don't think I want to look in

the mirror and see my whole

life...I lost ten pounds in the

last six months but I'm

starting to find them again.

I'm usually so good at losing

things.


GEORGE

I was up to three o'clock last

night watching Steve McQueen in

"The Great Escape". That's

what I'd like to do, make the

great escape. Right now, I'm

like Steve McQueen, in the cell

bouncing the ball against the

wall, waiting.

ANNE

All I want is to be happy. I

don't want to be content, I

don't want to be alone, I don't

want to be afraid. I want to

be happy.

GEORGE

I would like to be faithful to

one woman. It is an admirable

goal, unrealistic as hell, but

admirable.

ANNE

I guess I've had enough.

Thanks Fred, you've been a good

audience tonight. I hope I

didn't bore you to death.


GEORGE

Hey, Fred! Why don't you give

me one more and one for my

friend here?

ANNE

Tell him thanks but no thanks.

It's too late.

GEORGE

(Looks at ANNE)

What's the hurry all of a

sudden? I won't bite! Stay

and I'll tell you all about

myself. Better yet, tell me

all about yourself. What are

your favorite things? How

about your favorite movie?

Mine is "The Great Escape".

Ever seen it?

ANNE

I liked the "Sound of Music".

GEORGE

So did I! You know the song

they sing, "These are a few of

my favorite things..." Your

favorite book?


ANNE

Atlas Shrugged. Ever heard of

it?

GEORGE

Sure. I've got a set of

weights myself. Use 'em every

day!

ANNE

Well, it's been nice talking to

you.

GEORGE

Come on. Stay. Have a drink.

ANNE

No. I have to go.

GEORGE

How about a bite to eat.

Pizza?

ANNE

No thanks. Bye, Fred.

(ANNE stands up, walks to car.)


GEORGE

(Calling to ANNE)

Hey, I come here all the time.

Maybe I'll see you again.

ANNE

Yes, maybe.

GEORGE


Did you hear that, Fred? The

"Sound of Music!" Man, the

only broad I took out that

liked the "Sound of Music" was

this blind date my mother set

me up with! Ever hear of that

book she said? Atlas Shrugged?

She probably made it up! I

went out with a girl once who

said she only read Russian

literature. She made that up.

She didn't know the difference

between Dostoevsky and

detergent. Man, you read any

Dostoevsky? He wrote "The

Idiot", you know.

(ANNE returns from car.)


ANNE

(Looks at GEORGE.)

What do you like on your pizza?

GEORGE

I'm easy! Whatever you like, I

like! I know a great little

place. On the way over you can

tell me all about why this

Atlas guy shrugged. That's

what I like about books, they

take a simple incident and blow

it up for six hundred pages!

I read a book once with atlas

in the title! It was in grade

six geography. I think it was

called "World Atlas".

ANNE

You really shouldn't drink if

it makes you nervous. Fred,

can you vouch for this guy?

Have you seen him before?

GEORGE

Nervous? Who's nervous? Fred,

don't tell her anything!

ANNE

So, what was so great about

this escape?


GEORGE

You kidding? Steve McQueen

against a zillion Germans! You

like Steve McQueen?

ANNE

(As they walk to car.)

Yeah. He was good in "Butch

Cassidy".

(ANNE gets in driver's seat, GEORGE in passenger seat.)

GEORGE

(In admiration.)

Nice car! I used to have one

like this. It was red.

ANNE

Yes. It's hot. I like it

because of all the leather.

You like leather?

(ANNE starts car.)

SOUND

(Roar of engine, revving.)

GEORGE

I love leather. Man, we like

the same things. I can tell.


(Smoke billows up from the car.)

ANNE

Damn! It's on fire again!

SOUND

(Engine backfires, dies.)

(ANNE gets out. GEORGE follows. They stand together as

the car smokes.)

GEORGE

Do you want me to call for

help?

ANNE

I love the smell of burning

leather.

GEORGE

Maybe we should call...

ANNE

Wait until it really gets

going. I've got insurance.

Where's your car?

GEORGE

(Pointing)

The station wagon. Over there.


ANNE

Let's call for help.

CURTAIN

Documents

Sports Car Stage Play Midlife Crisis