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SIGNPOSTS FROM A HERO ́S JOURNEY 1999 - 2007 by Dag Furuholmen
Citation preview
1
soulwork in the woods
2
soulwork in the woods
SIGNPOSTS FROM A HERO´S JOURNEY 1999 - 2007
OTHER POEMS 2007
Dag Furuholmen
PHOTOGRAPHY: DAG FURUHOLMEN
FOREWORD
The title ”Soulwork in the Woods” in a literal sense stems from the fact that
Colorado National park. Since the autumn of 1999, when I star ted out as a student in The Ridhwan School, I have spent a lot of time in these woods.
-enced my personal spiritual journey. “Signposts from a Hero’s Journey” has a literal meaning in the sense that these poems are expressions from essential states or important crossroads, and has helped me penetrate and remember my journey. Each poem is a signpost from
pearl, the essence of his own being, and how he got lost on his way getting caught in the web of his ego and the splendour of the external world. Everyone that has been on this kind of journey knows something about this and also about the pain and endurance it takes to keep searching . I dedicate this book to my teachers in the Ridhwan school, Rennie Moran, Linda Krier, and John Davis, who have guided me with so much heart and hard work.I want to thank my wife Liv Evjan for her editing work, my son Eirik Evjan Furu-holmen for making such a beautiful cover and my friend Ted Usatynski for his enthusiasm and comments, and for correcting my spelling. I also want to thank Robert Bly for teaching me that poetry is soulwork, and for his generosity to read
-spiration to experiment and play with my writing.
Nesodden, Norway. February 2008
SIGNPOSTS FROM A HERO`S JOURNEY
9
SOULWORK IN THE WOODS
Walking the pathin rocky woodsLife stirringamong fallen logs
SUPEREGO 1
between wrong and rightbetween black and white
Discussions in my roomon compassion or doom
Am I the watcher?or am I the room?
-And who is discussing?
10
EGO
I could perceive them todaythose silvery threadsof shimmering thoughtsrunning through my space
Like rubbery stringssinging songs of dreadas they color my day
SOUL FOOD
Eating painand chasing ghoststhat marks the realms of childhood
That bitter foodfor searching souls
11
RESTLESSNESS
Like children we yearnfor that peaceful milk
Stilling ourselves with pleasurestaking us further away
EGO II – THE PAIN OF PROTECTION
The pain of longinghas left me this armor
Its steel and its leatherstill colors my mornings with dread
UNITY – FROM AN UNBELIEVER
Standing tremblingin unity with the tribeI hear the rainpouring downinside me
12
DREAMING
Waking from the dreamwith a wild breathHeart yearning for that sweet unionboundaries melting
DIGNITY
See the boyhow he needs consolationSerenity shamedand powers belittled
Comfort was givenin due time for grown upsWhen anger’s forgottenannoyance forgiven
Connecting the well
Awaking the soilsoftened by mourning
Then dignity bloomson the rock of the mountainSoft on the ground
14
SOULWORK IN THE WOODS III
Nature, not like Disney moviesfriendly beasts that talkAwesome force and brutal beautyface me as I walk
between the swaying treesTrunks so potent, rocky surfacesing their song to me
FATHER LOVE
No longer striving to be liked by himI let go of tryingand settle like a mountain
15
FATHER LOVE II
I brought home that wishfor recognition and valueLet it sproutin my heart
FATHER LOVE III
Crying my heart out, wailing for helpThat big father hand camefrom an unknown placeScaring my mindand soothing my soul
Then through the tears, scared of loosing its holdNot a believer, not deserving this goldI was helped to bemy original minda mysterious space, feeling friendly and calm
16
LEAVING FOR HOME
My chest is tightthe heart door’s closedwith anxiousness like clawsOld runes calldo not expandjust stay here, like you’re told
Then nauseated, torn betweenthe stay! – and let me go!I open up to what is realInvasion has to go
with starry nightas mystery unfoldsA lightness sweepslike sun bright morn’and laughter wakes my heart
17
THE DEAL – MOTHER LOVE
Give her your life and your sweetnessthat her powers can soar unrestrainedShe will pay you with crumbs from her tableand tell you, you are the preferred
You witness her crushing the fatherwho’s love you must yearn for in vainNow you are her puppet and playmatea prince without king, without aim
You believed in your princely powersyour charm and your wit in the gameBut you only had what she gave youas long as you stayed in her chain
THE UNDOING OF THE DEAL
Responsibilities weight on his shouldersalmost crushing the legs of the boyLocked in the cage of his mothertrying to care for her soul
Retaliation and guilt were the powersthat kept those commandments in placeNow unleash the red and the hatredLet them splinter that cage
18
THE SMOOTH ADVISER – SUPEREGO II
If you would onlyit said
Follow my scheme, - andshow them your graceyour kindness andheart for the lonelyYour strength against evilit said
And do show them your wisdom!You will feel pride thenwith their admirationYou will have value thenit said
If you would only
19
SECRET DOORWAY II
The princely armorso smooth and so charmingwith chest plates of clay
It’s inside that bruiseswith hatred and angeris aiming the spearswhen charm is in vain
I hear the depth callingbeneath that hard armorbut the prince as a guardian still serves me so well
“You’ll have to leave nowI need you no longerno more a boy child I yearn for the well”
So I enter the deep thenthe doorway is openedin the vastness of spaceI am grieving the loss
He’s been seen at the borderswhile he whispered his servicebut was stopped by the guardtold to leave once again
20
SHERE KHAN
Shere Khan, the beastawakened in my soul
Sensing his powerswatching his fangs
Caressing me softlyfeeding my heart
WAKING UP II
Suddenly, waking upnot chasing the minds pointersThe restless shouldsand over theresJust arriving every momentat the perfect spotoutside time
21
THE BEAST
Feeling like a beast nowhiding in his shameHis eyes betraying hatredtheir gazes causing pain
That loneliest of spacesin midst of others joyThat vulnerable smallnessno voice to help him call
And no one seems to noticeno one seems to knowHis secret pain stays hiddenthe heart stays crushed below
FATHER LOVE IV
Finally I enteredthat black spot of my heartHis coldness and his hatredbroke loose then from that dark
until I nearly drownedMy sense of value brokenaround his poisoned heart
22
MOTHER LOVE II
Running towards his loved onejoyous heart andarms up highhis little body, like a smile
Then, that angry lookthat tone of voicethat stops him dead
His heart feels crushedfor loss of lovedespair and doubthe must be wrong
So watch him nowhis doubtful mindwith careful stepsand shameful eyesHis value still on trial
23
THE PEARL
Back through timemy chest collapsedto shield the heartfrom damage
A wall of rockagainst the worldthat left the sourceforgotten
Then waking upthat deadened painmy room insideexpanding
It opened uptowards the worldlike furnace heatred gloving
When cooling down that open spacewas giving birthto new life
I watched in awethat pearly whiteso tender softappearing
26
EVENING SPRING WALK
Crisp sparkling lightand tender greensmake spring againon darkened wood
That chilly moistthat calls life backamong old logsand last years grass
Like arms of blackthe branches callto rosy skiesfor life and growth
LOST MISSION
The moon seems so closeand the stars so smallfrom this faraway watching place
What is my mission?I easy forgetjust to witness it alland rejoice?
27
SPRING LOVE
My heart’s in lovewith every grainof life and springout there
It’s open pulseon playful movefeels dizzyis this real
The wall has gone
a stranger
Intense and brightmy presence feelslike burstinginto light
28
MOUNTAIN VIEW
an expression of who you areTo help you remember your greatnessand to make you feel more at one
You are carefully choosing your itemsyou are picking them one by oneTheir color and texture reminds youbut soon their importance is gone
that is even more right than the lastSo that no one around you may wonderbut will believe in the image you cast
You are observing the feel of your actionsand choosing your words with care
so you don’t loose the grip on your shell
Sitting in silence you wonderwhen the view from the mountain appearThis silent and spacious groundingnot in need of assistance to be
29
THE GENIUS – SUPEREGO IV
The Watcher from the distance will set your feeling modeand measure your performanceaccording to the laws
With promises of prideand teasers showing famewith humble rules of knighthoodand shunning personal gain
You sense the whip from distancea reminder of her ragea cold condemning hatredno interest in your faith
You whip the stupid otherswho’re bragging out of vainyou watch its work in action and keep yourself in line
Do make your mother happybestow her with your calmbe her little genius admired by the crowd
Presented like a statuea beauty on a blockexposing his credentialsa hero without pride
30
AT HOME IN THE NARROW
I believed in the narrowI felt home in the tenseI had forgotten my birthrightthat lively zest
That fullness of breathso slowly regainedand the softness of rest
THE FULL MOON
The full moon’s revealingthe land in the darkThe clouds slowly driftingconceals it with night
A watchful forget nessis hiding my homeI slowly move closerwhen there’s light on my road
31
THE LOSS OF IDEAL
Inside the mana boy is still yearningTo feel the delight of fatherly strength
The size of a Kingthat can rule in the heavensCould make him feel safeand complete once again
He searches his world
Abandons his strengthnot to loose their support
And again disappointedhe might look for a new one
the depth of his hole
32
AUTUMN DAY
Nature’s changed its colours now
Amongst the paling mountain grassand branches put to rest
Evergreens in silent wait’for the autumns end
as snowfall once again
Cold and clear the winds expandput the mind at ease
Bluish mountains in the distanceeverlasting ageStanding still beneath the heavens
33
UNKNOWN GROUND
I lost my face to day
What was that forcethat opened upand pushed its waytowards the front
I lost myselfto another groundwhere silence stirredin unknown calm
In background stillthe mind distressedit could not knowit would not rest
When nothing movedI was at one
no longer looked upon
Time had goneno aim or goalI was Gods faceto witness all
34
ENJOYING THE RIDE
The universeis playing games todayLaughter is on tumble saleand sunshine’s in my head
The doors are opensomething’s lostIdentity with all its costAnd wind is in my hair
Happy sevenage has leftBut I’m still here wondering
Now the moon is risingbig like a pieThe universe is playing gamesand I enjoy the ride
35
SOULWORK IN THE WOODS IV
Walking in the Rockiessoaring like a birdwondering who’s the walkerlends my feet such speed
I try to grasp his nature
all I hear is laughterand joy I can’t explain
THE OBSERVER
The clouds they moveso light and swiftacross the moon and starsI stand below and watch I awethe beauty of it all
The moon’s so fullthe clouds so whitewhere does it all leave meI’m standing here far down belowwondering who to be
37
COMMUNION – SECRET DOORWAY III
The heart door was closedthe space outside takenBy mother who claimedher life was forsaken
Joy was spiteto her life of frustrationHe witnessed in fearhis fathers’ castration
The guardian was anxioushe sent out his warningsYou will be too muchyou’ll be shamed for your longing
But the ice kept on thinningtill water lay open
38
INSECURE – MOTHER LOVE III
Do not ask all these questionsDo not dare to look closeJust stay in the dizzyNo sharpness of thought
Or anger will haunt youAnd blow you awayYour ground will desert youAnd leave you in pain
So tense up your bodyYour legs and your fearAct strong and be charmingTo hold her at bay
You try to forgetBut you still hear her sayI am your groundYou’re my foe or my pray
39
JOYOUS HEART
of late DecemberIcy coldand sunny bright
Packed in dunesof snowy crystals
of low light
Cheeks are coldand chest is hotFrom skiingendless mountain slopes
Snow is speakingsounds of drynessBelow skis and moving poles
Surrounded bythis silent vastIt opens upmy joyous heart
40
TRAVELING LIGHT
Lightness is a magicI invite into my lifeI feel it in my movementsI feel it in my mind
I see it in the landscapeof snow and whitened pinesThe ranges in the distance
But heaviness is pullingan old template of my soulRage ‘gainst being helplessa shield ‘gainst feeling small
Heaviness invades meas a helper from the pastA make believe contraptionsupport against all bad
Then clouds that move like feathersacross the winter skyReminds me of the magicand pulls me back to life
A lightness that is deepa lightness that is vastIt speaks to my whole beingand frees me from the past
41
BLESSING
The boat is moving slowlytowards the evening lightA golden peaceful glowwith winter all around
The wind moves like an artistand shapes the waters faceLight as soundless musicit dances without end
Surrounded by this lightnessthe dance of sea and skyI open to receivethis blessing for the night
42
ABUNDANT LOVE
I found my love was buriedbeneath the veil of fearI’d lost the recognitionto me it felt like shame
I’d settled for the versionto merge when in the graceI made my luck by strivingto change my given face
Then seeing the delusionof judgment from withoutThe veil of fear recededand love reclaimed the heart
as love was settling inA sense of soft completenesswanting to be shared
This kingdom made of softnessstill feels like mountain groundNo neediness or worryfrom this abundant place
43
SACRED NATURE
You sayI’m like one of those big cats
Killing when hungryenjoying his kingdomin the sun
Caring for his cubstill they’re grownenough
SACRED NATURE II
Witnessing the morning sunon that snowy rangeI remembered myselfan open hearttouched by beauty
44
SACRED NATURE III
Remembering the Sourcethat giant streamtaking you away
You die with fearbut no regretsas you let go
WAITING FOR SPRING
Spring rain fallson my morning face
catch my sleepy state
They stop a whilemoistening the treesLet go and falllike little streams
It wakes me up on this foggy dayBranches budwe are all in wait
46
RAIN IS COMING
Rain is comingfrom the seaI watch it driftingborne by wind
I sit in silencenature movesit touch my skinand sets my mood
Like an eaglesitting stillI watch it close upon my sill
The sounds of windthrough grass and leavesmind so still‘mong moving trees
47
FRIENDSHIP
I laid my soul wide openfor my friend to seeput down those hardened scalesand let it all run free
I showed my pained confusionhe said he knew this placehe’d been there some years earlyI saw it in his face
The sharing and compassionallowed me leave that spaceof lonely cramped illusionmy happiness at stake
His eyes that saw me openhis voice that gave supportI took it in and slowlyI was no more alone
48
TRUSTING THE HEART
Then trusting the heartits yeses and nossensing this wholenesscomplete
Not making speechesof rights and of wrongsappeasing the critic within
Being one piecea wholeness of mansoft and solidon ground
Sensing and trusting
the knowingthat comes from the heart
FEELING LOST
Feeling lostAs beforeIn this friendly woodExactly whereI want to be
49
GARDEN SERENADE
This old gardenplays its songsLight and shadow serenades
Helped by windand morning sun Through mossand autumn trees
Grass still green
Like shiny silverstrings
The larger treesof woods aroundDance a slow old waltz
Dead brown leavesupon the groundReminds ofwhat’s to come
50
GREEN SPROUTS
Green sproutson my fathersdarkened picture
of teachingthe boy
SEDUCTION
The sea is a plate of silver
Boats move slow in distanceTowards land of misty blue
Summer seems to lingerBut autumn sings the tuneI’m seduced by sweetnessOf late October’s June
51
MILD LIGHT
Suddenly a mildnessin the evening lightSongs of love from every birdinto a warmer sky
Branches birthing greenin between their callsA dog’s barkinto stillnessAnnouncing spring
HUMANISM
Humanism is being happy with the abundance that is youNot comparing loosing groundNot judging through another’s eyesNot conjuring visions from long gone pastBeing ordinaryis enough
52
THE DOME
The dome of ego shuddersits rusty structure screamsThe superego franticallytrying to maintain its beams
It’s painting old idealsand securing with critiqueComparing you to othersand hope you come out clean
Inside this rusty hollowis emptiness, no groundIdentity is shattered
The stronghold of this towerof guilt and old beliefsHolds on from solar plexusa cramp from front to rear
It holds itself in panicnot to disappearBut space dissolves its bodyand laughter is what’s real
53
THE CRADLE OF I
I fell out of the cradleinto a boundless spaceBetween images and stories
The loss was overwhelmingno address and no goalSeparate from othersa sense of being lost
The habits of the friendlythat cozy glue was goneThe I still strongly temptingthat cradle of the known
How to trust my nature
Being in this openno views to lean upon
57
HYMN TO AN OLD MASTER
High in barren landscapeOf snow and howling windsHome of this old giantNo longer just a tree
His roots still eating rockHis trunk like hardened steelThis old and silent masterIs showing how to live
In all his glistening greenHe shows the force of lifeThe willingness to be
58
THE CALL OF THE I
Yet the I is callingyou left your hull too soon
It calls with different voicesit sings with different tunes
some with threats of doom
The birthright of this being
Borne on wind and sunshineexpressing all its life
59
THE SQUEEZE
caught between do’s and don’tsMommy’s fear of othersFather feeling small
born within his coreLost to his awarenessmommy needed all
Calling for the fatherwanting his supportAlone there in the openhurting from his loss
Now rest in the abundanceaway from calls of shameAs the caller weakensthe fullness of his strength
60
EATING THE DRY
precious and full
nothing is dull
Then a call comes with storiesof beauty and fame“Come to my storeI will feed you again”
I am sensing its drynesshollow and dulllike eating a pictureof something that’s full
Sense the abundanceand taste what is realSense your own life
61
STAYING ON THE EDGE
I see the wall of futurestill tempting me to lookThe mind a willing allyit knows the way to hook
Soothing me with storiesof whom I am to beOr looks into the mirrorits back view safely speaks
Being in the middlethis edge of sacred groundA space of no opinionnot knowing what’s to come
64
THE KING`S GUARD
The darkened guardshold their lineswatch the royal castle
Trunks like iron‘gainst the skyon this autumn morning
Grownup menfeel like boyswith these solemn elders
Struck by powerof the stillreaching for the heavens
65
THE KING`S GUARD II
Old guards still standingtall in the darkCold rain announcing winter
Their hardened feetdeep in the groundShed leavesthe only shelter
Young soldiers marchbetween their legsClick heelslike paper tigers
66
WARRIOR DREAMS
The warrior stancewas protecting his heartGave him the armourthat set him apart
He fought for his valuehe fought for his rightHis keen eyes were watching
Then letting his fence fall
Letting go of his hopesto make right again
That vigilant stance goneso focused with fearLeft him wide opento sense his own pearl
So soft and alivethis pearly white fruitOut in the openin touch with it all
67
PILLARS OF TRUTH
Looking at the towerThe pillars of old truthI sense the fear behind itIt’s reason getting loose
The real truth of the momentI tasted in my heartAn intimate communionAnd freedom from the past
This longing from foreverGives rise to open spaceAllows me take my true seatAnd sense into the depths
The path that I am walkingFeels like my own groundThe doubt of real belongingHas gone, I’m coming home
68
FLOW
Following the bodyin such amazing speed
no thought of where this leads
The oneness with the movements
lets me sense the moverdancing at his will
When peace is slowly settlinga lightness does appeara smiling boy of sunshineat peace with what he is
GREEN SPROUTS II
Green sproutson my fathers darkened pictureHonouring the loveand the longingThat once wasin my heart
69
WARRIOR DREAMS II
The little hero riseshe steels his tiny legsHe takes his sword and helmetthe armour for his chest
The warrior takes his stancehe feels his strength and willBehind his shining armourhe’s proud and has no fear
The soul within this steel
It can no longer feelthe outside takes it all
70
ALONE
In his private chamberthe boy maintained his woeto be strong and cleverlike his hero could support
ALONE II
The wonder of the fatherthis sense of having goldWas robbed him by the motherwho shamed the one he loved
Heartache in his own homefeeling lost and wrongWith the blinded fatherthat left him long ago
ALONE III
Alone in natures gardenstillness does ariseFeeling like a lone childwithout his known support
Every moment ladenwith the presence of it allNo strings of action soothingnot knowing clear and cold
71
ALONE IV
Separate among others
No hooks of ingratiationNo sense of having debts
The clarity of visionFrom this seat insideResting in alonenessI see your natural face
ALONE V
Soaring like a big birdborne upon the windsalone between the heavensa golden heart within
72
THE BIGGEST THIEF
The biggest thief of alllives right beneath my skinHe tells me: “Oh I like this!”“Let’s play it once again”
I sense I am being drawn outfrom this serene and inner placeTo the outer charmsof doing it again
And once the thief has eatenthe life that’s new and freshHe wears it as a medalupon his rusty chest
73
SONG OF PRESENCE
Why don’t you want toBe presentShe saidIn the freshnessThat’s hereInstead of walking the tombsOf your pastOr the airy castlesOf futureShe saidWhy not pay attentionTo the windsMoving youLike a songYou must listen closelyTo hearThe words of beauty
74
THE BIGGEST THIEF II
The thiefmy companionhas been working so hardTo gather his medalsof fame
He’s been runningand helpingand serving as guardAll just to protectmy heart
He’s sadabout leavinghe is scared to be lostBut he’s paidand I’ll kiss him Goodbye
75
BENEATH THE WALLS
I slipped into the darknessI fell beneath the wallsinto a peaceful blacknessI lost the sense of home
Then starlight seemed to gatherit lightened up my mindFrom my darkened bodythe light began to shine
It streamed out from the welland settled in my heartI found my private seatno longer in the dark
A softness moved my bodywhere walls had lost their holdThe mountains moved inside mewe shared the ground of all
76
DIFFUSION
Not trusting what’s realin his own heartHe’s looking for truthin the other
A child without groundhe longs for support
in mother
The grownups are naming itsensible waysLike pros and consand politeness
When the energy’s gonediffused from the realA sense of confusionand smallness
He’s loosing contactwith his soulLetting the old fearcontrol him
In need of supporthe offers his charmsAnd walk the walkof the others
77
THE RAW
You’re moving past the guardian
Separate without guidancesmall and on your own
This outrage will be punishedthe betrayal of your guideYou curl up like a foetusstill hurting in your heart
you move into the painAs black space slowly risesyour presence has no end
You’ve opened to the wholenessno veils to soothe this rawThe sound of rain runs through you
78
NO ADDRESS
I cried out loudI loose it allmy friendsmy life my self
Another journeyhas begunOf shrinkingintodust
The fear prevailsI loose my holdNo addressleftin space
No inside andno outside hereTo putthe selfat rest
80
SWALLOWS
so lownowThey say“it’s ‘fore the rain”I hearthe distantthunderI still can sense the pain
But sun isslowlyrisingIt gentlyholds my walkA smileinsidemy bodyBrings hopeand joy and warmth
81
BABY BLUE
A lonely child is callingacross the plains of timeDoesn’t trust your doingdoesn’t trust your charm
It’s fear of disapprovaltakes hold and pulls your heartA mist of dread invades youyou sink into the part
This entity of old hurtis known by every cellYou start forget your herenessand soon you’ve left yourself
82
CONNECTED
The brightnessof an open heart
to meet youlike the sun
TRUTH
To senseyour hearts desireTo feelits light and joy
your true connectionTo be
Your seatof peace and richesNo doubtor quest for fameYour dignitylike water
to meet itself
83
YELLOW
I feel sillyI saidlightlike a childWith gigglesand laughpouring outof my heart
What am I to dowith myselfin this state?Maybe there’s nothingbut beingShe said
It struck meso deepI fell intomy heartThe truthis so simpleI make itso hard
84
HEART
What is your heart
of veins and bloodinside you
Now sense againand sink intothe spring of lifethat bides there
This space of joythis sense of smilethat shines its lightaround you
85
PANIC
You panicked when they told youTo be is not enough
another grounddesert the soft and calm
You have to check your natural stepto be your new idealto watch your everymove and smileto prove you’re in this deal
That new ground so evasivea construct of your mindthose constant dos and don’tsto keep you on the line
The tense became your new homeIt served your cause so wellYou did forgetthe realYou think you are this shell
86
SIMPLICITY
Simplicity she said,is not about styleIt’s not about being the right kind of guyIt’s not about acting the right kind of wayIt is she said,being at onewith whatever you arewalking the streetsor driving your car
CHANGE
Dark morningsand wet leavesAutumntalks
87
ALIVE
Being that
Being that
Being that conscious spacesensing it all
90
TURNING AWAY
You’re moving outbetrayingThat stillnessof your heartThe duty so compellingYou moveto play your partYou’re reaching out to please themYou’re moving out to careYou turn awayto have that smilethat makes you feel so safe
The hurt of your betrayalis numbed by every moveYou’re master of your imageBut stillyou’ll have to proveThen suddenly such stillnessSuch pain to turn awayThis intimate communionwith your sacred space
91
HOPE
A little boy was punisheda little boy was lefthis chest caved inlike burninghis longing had no end
Then hoping for tomorrowsoothed by his planto make a real good motherof the one he had
CHILDHOOD
In the aftermathof punishmentthe certainty of doom
Abandonedin that empty deadno way to stop the pain
Still, crying comes to enda new sound
A tune emerging from the depthssoothing: “You exist”
92
THE KNIGHT
The King in his castlesense in his hearta wantingfor contact and joyHe calls for his knightThe knight comes at oncebringing a silvery tray
“I will carry your message into the world I will tell you how well they respond”
He bows and leavesThe King stays behindHis life safe beneath walls
The knight returnsMessage written in gold “They like you and sends their regards”
The King feels numbNo life in those wordsHe turnsand he closes his heart
93
CHANGE
Early morningcomes with changeOne of many deaths
A ship is leaving
Slow and heavyno returnYour body feelsthe weight
A ship is leaving
You turn to sense behind youA dark tuneof farewell
A ship is leaving
Then to bowthe sense of joyThis journeyhas begun
A ship is leaving
94
THE FORTRESS
I am looking at the fortressfrom inside these old wallsits attitudes and knowledgethe laws in case of war
I’m hanging like a puppetin those silver threadsthey tell about the outsideand bides me not to rest
95
THE DEEP
I woke upto a starry nightFloating in its black peaceRooted in its light
OTHER POEMS 2007
98
THIN LINE
The thin lineof the livingAlmost brokenin my friend
His chest and heartlaid openTo bring himback again
Crying in his painand hidingin his fear
He shook us allto wake upThe line betweenis real
99
THE ARAB SINGER
The Arab singeropened his heartCalling the HolyI am yours tonight
Bourne by stringsdriven by beatMoving the soulscome feel the heat
to a warmer spaceBodies are movedby this bliss taking place
100
MOON CHANT
The cicadas evening concert
Old frog calls out to join thema hoarse old-fashioned chant
They’re complaining to the new moonshe keeps hiding in her homeJust a narrow silver lineshines out beneath her door
They’ll keep on singing every nightuntil their call is heardAnd then they’ll sing her praise all nighttill the sun wakes up
101
PERFUME RIVER – SONG HUONG
Among Buddhas and scootersand farmers of riceThe holy and practicalseems to unite
Working and smilingand intent to sellThey build up with brickswhat the war once erased
Like swarms of mosquitoesfrom morning till night
with their motos and noise
But up from the riverthe monks work in peaceIn the Thien Mu Pagoda the Buddha still lives
102
WAKING UP
Early morning
like a rivermoves inside
Sea breeze singingin the palmssun just touchingsoft and calm
Open endedthis new daypregnantin a peaceful way
103
PATHAYA ATTRACTIONS
He looks at his toyfrom a faraway placeLost in his deadnesshe still wants to enjoy
His money has hooked hershe plays by his willControl is the gameof no pain and no fear
He sucks on her youthhis own so far goneAttracted by life’s heat
104
SAD GIRL
She came with a blacknessof duty and shamePunished with wordsfrom her past
I asked her to tell methe truth of her painShe told me her Godwas so stern
His voice was like thunderHe told her she failedTo be like her motherwould want
This haunted young womanwho claimed she heard GodSo special in her painful way
Was shocked when she sawshe’d created it allher own fear of judgementwas all
105
RIVER
Standing in the riverin this stream of lifeCaptured by its beautymysterious and dark
that pulls me with its mightWill it bring me fortuneor just a frozen night
106
GROWN MEN
They were allmarkedthese grown menStern fathersand harsh rules
They had tochoosethose young boys Obey lawor stay alone
They found theirmeansthose young warriorsTo bend fatetheir own way
easefor those menHearts stillcarry pain
Sixty years’
A long burning
sorrow feeds
107
NUMB
A small boy’s standingvery stillhe does no longer wantArms pulled backnot reaching outloudfor mothers love
Young man sittingin the cornersilent with his beerSees her armsround someone’s neckHe never
Grown man trying tosense his wantin the hollow ofhis heartIt all evades himhe’s numbed outfor giving upso long
108
DIGNITY III
Her daddylike a childHer mother like a teenShe was fartoo muchfor themShe couldn’thold it in
She beggedfor their compassionShe starvedand cuther armsThey saidshe was self centred“We’re the oneswho’re harmed”
I met her as a grown upgenerous and wildShe took backwhat belongedto herHer dignityand heart
109
FLIES
Those young menin the barBusiness suitsand stone eyesWaiting
for prey
Mobile phones
Gritted teethmake insectsmilesTo the worldfor morechampagne
110
DADDY’S GIRL
This woman childso stiff and sadso lost in rulesof niceRules for everyturn of lifeand deadnessin her eyesNo reason to complainshe saidwith money from my dadShe even judgedher sadnessthe only life she had
111
FUNFAIR BOY
I saw him behind his shelterSelling ballsto throw
Hardly seventeenof ageHis eyesalready gone
What takesa young manslifethis wayAnd leaves him in the dull
Selling ticketsrainy daysis hardlywhat’s to blame
112
FUNNY HAT
An old ladywith a funny hatwalks through autumn goldKicking leaves
with such a tender smileThe sunny parkand memoriesof summers that have gone
113
NEON
Autumn has reached the cityDark nights and wet lights shining on pavement and stone
The Kings trees have sighed and let go of their goldturning brown on the wet lawns
Autumn faces, pale and closed, passingneon paintings for a bleak seasonRain gently washing
114
THE KINGS GUARD III
Old soldier in the parkScarred skin andbroken limbsfrom those long snowy winters
Roots like steelno leavesgreen moss ‘round his heartL loves Min this pale winter light
PEACE
The sea is silentcold and darkWinter sings its tuneA ferry’s glidingon its lightsred and greentowards the keyComes to pick me up
115
GREETING
Winter morning red and greyice on pondsfrozen bay
I am not here
THE DEEP
I woke upto a starry night
Floating in its black peaceRooted in its light