Soul Mates: Pilot

Writtenby

Claire-Louise ReillyAnthea KoonStuart Monti

INT. WILLIAMS HOUSE - TEDDYS ROOM DAY

A teenagers bedroom, cluttered with a colourful collectionof knick-knacks, books, and arts and crafts tools. TEDDYWILLIAMS sarcastic, intense, wholesomely weird - loungeson her bed, casually sewing plush toys onto a skirt. Herphones on speaker beside her.

TEDDYLook, all Im saying is if I haveto choose between a fight with aserial killer or a horde ofzombies, Im picking the serialkiller.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE - JAMIES ROOM DAY

On other end of the call, JAMIE DANIELS quirky, awkward,curious is sticking up posters on her wall.

JAMIEAnd that, my friend, will be yourdownfall. Serial killers areintelligent. Zombies just shufflearound, they have no preservationskills whatsoever.

INTERCUT JAMIE AND TEDDY.

TEDDYBut serial killers cant grow innumber by biting their victims. Isthe world gonna end in a serialkiller apocalypse? I dont thinkso.

A knock on the bedroom door. Teddys dad, MR WILLIAMS peaksround the door, a stack of mail in his hands.

MR WILLIAMSTeddy, letter for you.

TEDDYThanks, Dad.

She takes it. He exits.

TEDDY (CONT'D)(opening it)

Hey, I think it might be my answerfrom Non Possumus Arts.

JAMIEYou mean that schmancy art school?That one was your top pick, right?

Teddy begins to open it.

TEDDYYeah, theyre like, theschmancist. So its probably areject

(incoherent noises)JAMIE

Teddy? Ted. Ted. Tedster. TeddyBear. Theodora Williams. Did youjust die?

TEDDYI got in.

JAMIEReally? Thats great. Guess mygirls part of the Non-PossenowTed, did you hear me? I made afunny. Acknowledge my funny.

TEDDYI GOT IN!

She hangs up the call. Jamie looks at her phone, confusedand offended.

EXT. WILLIAMS HOUSE - TEDDYS WINDOW - DAY

Teddy opens the window and sticks her head out.

TEDDYI got in!

EXT. WILLIAMS HOUSE DAY

She throws open the door.

TEDDYI got in!

EXT. BRIDGE - DAY

She skips down a street. Stops. Turns her head up to thesky.

TEDDYI got into art school!

2.

She freezes joyously, as if shes in a musical. Then suddenly hit with realization.

TEDDY (CONT'D)Expensive, expensive art school.That I have no idea how Im gonnaafford. Huh. Feels like I shouldhave thought about this before

INT. WILLIAMS HOUSE KITCHEN DAY FLASHBACK

Teddy filling out an application to Non-Possumus Arts on thecounter. Her dad passes by. Sees the paper. Stops.

MR WILLIAMSWhoa, kiddo. That is way more thanwe've got saved up in your collegefund. How exactly are you gonnapay for this?

TEDDY(shrugs)

Eh. I probably wont even get in.Well cross that bridge when weget to it.

BACK ON SCENE.

TEDDY (CONT'D)I hate this bridge.

REVEAL:

Shes standing on an actual bridge.

In the river below it, a CLEANER is fishing out a corpse.

CLEANERYou and me both, kid.

EXT. STORE - WITCH/CRAFT - DAY

Store stands on a small inner city street, selling amishmash of art supplies and supernatural items. The signsays "WITCH/CRAFT" with a witch riding a painbrush as theforward-slash. A poster in the window says SUMMER SALE NOWON!

INT. STORE - WITCH/CRAFT DAY

Jamie strolls in and makes a beeline for the register, wherethe manager BRETT is on duty.

3.

JAMIEHey, is Teddy here?

BRETTDepends. You just here to chat upmy staff, or are you actuallygonna buy something?

JAMIEGot anything new?

BRETTOnly these pentagram key chainsthat light up when they jingle.

JAMIE(whipping cash out herpocket)

Sold!

He grabs the money, pivots toward a door behind the counterlabelled STAFF and opens it, shouting down a flight ofstairs...

BRETTTeddy, your girlfriends here.

JAMIEYou kiss your best friend once andsuddenly youre lesbians.

Teddy appears at the top of the stairs.

TEDDYYou ARE a lesbian.

JAMIEEh, semantics.

TEDDYWhat are you doing here anyway?

JAMIEWell Im super bored and you getoff work soon, so I figured wecould do something fun.

TEDDYI took a double-shift today.Sorry.

(sees Jamie lookingdisheartened)

But I could take my lunch break?

4.

INT. STORE - COPY POTT DAY

Another gimmicky store right next to Witch/Craft - this timeprinting-shop-meets-cafe, free with punny drink names like"mochatone latte."

Jamie and Teddy sit sipping drinks and eating sandwiches.

TEDDYAnd then they told us they neededit for a making a found-footagefilm about a coven of cannibalwitches or something. And I spentthirty minutes mixing paint intothe perfect shade of blood forthat?

JAMIEYoure welcome.

TEDDYWhat?

JAMIEOh, I just thought youd wanna saythanks for getting you the bestsummer job ever.

TEDDYYou told me about a vacancy signin the window.

JAMIEWhich I wouldnt have seen if Iwasnt in that store like all thetime, so

TEDDYFine. Thank you. Its a prettycool job, I guess.

(beat) I just wish it paid better.

JAMIENon-Pos again?

TEDDYYeah. I was actually thinking ofdropping out.

JAMIENo way. But its your dreamschool.

5.

TEDDYYeah, well, Ive done the maths.It takes my entire savings, threedifferent scholarship programs,and working overtime at the storejust to afford the first year. Andif my grades dont stay in the topten percent Ill lose all myfunding.

JAMIESo what are you gonna do?

TEDDYKeep working at Witch/Craft, saveup and apply again next year, hopelightning strikes twice.

Jamies face lights up. She has an idea. An amazinglystupid, stupidly amazing, awesome idea.

JAMIEOr we could

But Teddy knows whats coming.

TEDDYOh, no. None of that freaky occultshit.

JAMIEHey, this freaky occult shit gotyou your job, remember? So justlet me talk.

(beat)We could summon a demon

TEDDYWhy did I let you talk?

JAMIENo, seriously, Ive researchedthis stuff, its a great idea. Itgives you something you want, yougive it something it wants

TEDDYLike my soul.

JAMIEEveryones happy!

6.

TEDDYThis is stupid. Demons arent evenreal.

JAMIEThen whys it a big deal if we tryto summon one?

TEDDYNot happening.

JAMIEPlease?

TEDDYJamie. No.

JAMIEJAMIE YES.

They begin to talk over each other.

TEDDYNo. No. No! No, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, nofine, Illdo it!

JAMIEYes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yesYEAH!This is gonna be great. To myhouse!

TEDDYI have to get back to work in fiveminutes

JAMIETwenty-four hours from now!

EXT. DANIELS HOUSE - DAY

A picturesque two-story suburban home on a picturesquesuburban street. The suns out, the skys blue, and there areeven birds twittering. But inside

INT. DANIELS HOUSE - JAMIES ROOM - DAY

The curtains are drawn, the lights dimmed, and all thefurniture piled to the corners of the room to make space forthe chalk pentagram drawn on the floor.

7.

Jamie is lighting candles and laying one at each point ofthe star. Ominous choir music plays softly from a CD player.Beside the circle sits an out-of place wooden crate.

Teddy walks in.

TEDDYJamie, your mum let me in...why isthere creepy music?

JAMIEAtmospheric. You dont like?

Teddy goes to the CD player and switches it off. We can nowhear faint clucking coming from the crate.

TEDDYRight, because trying to call upona creature of Hell isnt scaryenough on its own. Feel likebusting out an Ouija Board whileyoure at it?

JAMIEI cant, my parents confiscated itafter the Christmas incident.

(beat)Did I a say confiscated? I meantburned. They burned my OuijaBoard.

TEDDYExplain to me how this worksexactly?

JAMIEIve done most of the work. Thecandles, the circlehey, do youthink it matters if you draw it inmint chalk? I was all out ofwhite. You know what? Nevermindall you need to do is saythis special incantation, and tadaaa! Demon.

TEDDYAnd thats safe?

JAMIERelax, its just an itty-bittydemon. It wont even have thepower to leave circle or telllies. Its basically harmless. And

(MORE)

8.

JAMIE (CONT'D)if you two cant work somethingout, we just send it on its way.

TEDDYOkay.

JAMIEOr we could just use this

She whips out a large homemade Christian cross with the endssharpened to a point like a stake.

A knock at the door. Its Jamies mum, MRS DANIELS, wholooks like a cross between Barbie and a 50s housewife from acleaning commercial.

MRS DANIELSUh, sweetie, dont you think itsawfully dark in here?

JAMIEThats because were about tocomplete a satanic ritual, mum.

Mrs Daniels stares off into the distance, as if trying notto process what her daughter just said.

MRS DANIELSWell, your father and I are goingcouples wine-tasting and wont beback till late. Theres pie in thefridge if you get hungry.

She leaves.

JAMIEYeah, thats pretty much how shereacted when I told her I likedgirls. Or that I got kicked out ofCatholic school for homosexualactivity. Wait, no, those werethe same day

TEDDYLets just get this over with, Ihave work in an hour.

JAMIEOkay. Circle check. Candles check. Animal sacrifice

TEDDYWait, what?

9.

Jamie quickly pulls a chicken out the crate and slits itsthroat O.S. Theres an unpleasant gurgling and bloodsplatters across both girls faces.

Teddy stands frozen in horror and disgust as Jamie danglesthe chickens corpse over the circle, wringing the bloodout. She tosses it aside and casually dusts off her hands.Reaching into her pocket, she fumbles about till she finds aslip of paper and passes it to Teddy.

JAMIEOkay, now you just have to say thewords.

Teddy begins to recite them tentatively.

TEDDYDoolb ni diap evah I rof. Gniddibym od dna lliw ym tcane. Eethnommus I, lleh fo erutaerc."

As she speaks, ominous black smoke rises from the circle. Aneerie red fills the room.

JAMIEHoly shit, I didnt think it wouldwork!

TEDDYThen why were we doing this!?

The cloud of smoke grows and grows, until its a swirlingtornado reaching as high as the ceiling. It ripples againstthe outline of the circle, but cannot cross it. A howlingwind blows against the girls, pushing them back.

Then a low, otherworldly laugh. A pair of glowing red eyesappear from the darkness. The DEMON.

DEMONYou summoned me?

Jamies eyes are wide and her face lit up like its herbirthday and Halloween all rolled into one. She points toTeddy.

DEMON (CONT'D)And what is it you desire, mortal?

TEDDYWell, mister demonsir, I needmoney. To pay for art school.

10.

DEMONMoney? Thats easy enough.

TEDDYCool? Uh...and what do you want inreturn? My soul?

DEMONWhy have your soul when I can haveyour body instead?

(laughs maniacally)TEDDY

Forsex?

DEMONNo, I want to use your body.

TEDDYFor sex?

DEMONNo, its not a sex thingstoptaking your clothes off!

REVEAL:

Teddy has been undressing.

DEMON (CONT'D)Look, Hells gotten...a littledull, recently. I want to relax,have some fun, kick back in yourworld for a little while. But inorder to do that, I need to bebound to something on Earth. Like,say, a human vessel...

TEDDYWhat, like possessing me?

DEMONNot necessarily. Youd just belike an anchor, keeping me tied tothe mortal realm. Its not evenpermanent, just for a few years lets saytill you graduate? Andin return Ill give you all themoney you need. I do my thing, youdo yours. Do we have a deal?

TEDDYSounds fair.

(beat)Maybe this was a bad idea.

11.

DEMONYou just said it was fair!

TEDDYFair. Demon. Demon. Fair. You seemy point here?

JAMIELet me speak to my associate forjust one moment

She grabs Teddy and pulls her over to the corner.

JAMIE (CONT'D)Dude, what are you doing? Youshould totally go for it.

TEDDYYoud say that about anything thatmeans spending more time with asupernatural entity.

JAMIEHow dare youno, youre right, Iwould. I really would. But it isalso a pretty sweet deal. Look,according to all the books theyneed a living vessel, so he cantkill you or anything.

TEDDYFine.

(to the Demon) I have a few questions.

DEMONGo on.

TEDDYIs this money gonna be stolen,counterfeited, or otherwiseillegal?

DEMONNo.

TEDDYWill it come from selling weaponsto drug lords or impoverishedchildren being forced to makeshoes, that sort of stuff?

DEMONNo more so than regular money.

12.

TEDDYDoes someone have to die for me toget it?

DEMONNo one.

(muttering)That you know.

TEDDYWhat?

DEMONNothing.

TEDDYAlright, I accept.

DEMONPerfect. Step into the circle.

She does. The darkness completely envelopes her.

The cloud begins to spin again. Teddy stands in the centre,windswept, waiting for something to happen. Behind her, theshadowy silhouette of the Demon appears.

It seizes hold of her, ripping its clawed hands across herchest. Teddy howls in pain. But the wounds dont bleed they glow red. They begin to tiwst and contort, as if theskins reshaping itself. Instead of claw marks, theres nowa glowing red pentagram in the centre of Teddys chest.

The glow fades. The skin heals over and the pentagram turnsblack. The Demon releases her, and Teddy falls from thecircle, dazed. Jamie catches her.

JAMIETeddy Bear? You okay?

TEDDYI think so. Whatwhat happened?

JAMIEI dunno, but it came with a freetattoo.

The cloud continues to spin, faster and faster, collapsingin on itself. In a flash its gone, and left in its place

The Demon. A dishevelled dark-haired man in hismid-twenties. Looks less like a person and more like ahousecat posing as one.

13.

In a fit of excitement, Jamie drops Teddy and runs towardshim, eyes all wide and curious.

JAMIE (CONT'D)Oh my god, youre real! I mean, ofcourse youre real, but yourehere! You have no idea how excitedI am to meet you.

DEMONOh, I think I do.

JAMIEIm kind of the reason yourehere.

DEMONUh, thanks? Miss?

JAMIEJamie. Your name is?

DEMONIncomprehensible to the humantongue.

JAMIEWell work on that.

TEDDYDon't mind me. Im on the floor.Its fine.

JAMIESorry its justlook at him!

TEDDYOh, I am.

DEMONHey, its called blending in.

TEDDY(leaning on Jamies DIYcross, gesturing to hermark)

Yes, that explains why you choseto put this in the mostinconspicuous place of all: mycleavageOW!

She jumps back, startled. Looking down at her hand, she seesthe skins blistered and burned. After a second it begins tofade.

14.

DEMONYeah, religious items will do thatto you. Might wanna avoid them.

JAMIEThat might be a problem

She opens the door.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE UPSTAIRS HALLWAY DAY

The three of them look out onto the hall. The walls aredecorated with hundreds of different crosses.

JAMIEYeah, were that kind of family.

DEMONOh. Good thing I can do this

He vanishes in a puff of black smoke.

JAMIEDo you think well ever see himagain?

TEDDYWe better, he still owes me mymoney. I should probably get towork.

They start at the looming passage of crosses.

JAMIEClimb out the window?

TEDDYClimb out the window.

INT. JAMIES ROOM DAY

They cross to the window. Unnoticed by the girls, all thecandles are suddenly extinguished.

TEDDYHey, didnt you have a carpet inhere?

JAMIEYeah, but its fine. It smelled ofcat pee anyway.

TEDDYYou don't have a cat.

15.

JAMIEThe mysteries of life, my friend.

The outline of the circle begins to glow red.

INT. STORE - WITCH/CRAFT NIGHT

Brett switches the sign in the window from open to closed.Teddy comes out the staff room, heading for the door.

BRETTSee you tomorrow, Teddy.

TEDDYSee you, Brett.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Teddy walking absent-mindedly. Her phone rings.

TEDDY(answering it)

Hello?

INT. DANIELS HOUSE KITCHEN NIGHT

The room looks like it belongs in a doll house, all pristineand pastel colours. Jamie stands, phone in hand, fixated ona novelty chicken egg timer.

JAMIESo I was thinking Damien.

INTERCUT JAMIE AND TEDDY.

TEDDYWhat?

JAMIEHis name. Hes gotta have a name.

TEDDYWere not naming him Damien, TheDemon. Were not naming himanything, hes not our pet.

JAMIEBut we summoned him. Hesbasically our responsibility.

TEDDYJamie, when have you ever beenresponsible in your entire life?

16.

JAMIEWell, theres a first time foreverything.

(egg timer dings)Ooh, my pies ready!

TEDDYTalk to you later. Enjoy your pie.

(hangs up)DEMON (O.S)

Hello again.

TEDDYOh. Its you.

DEMONYeah, Ive been waiting about halfan hour for you to finish.

TEDDYThats not creepy. What do youwant?

DEMONJust to give you this.

(hands her a letter)TEDDY

(reading it)Dear Theodora Williams, you arethe lucky recipient of the RichardSpidermin Memorial ArtsScholarship, entitling you to yourtuition paid in full...you arealso cordially invited to attendMr Spidermins funeral?! Whathappened to nobody has to die forthis?

DEMONHey, he was old, rich, and alreadyon his way out. I just convincedhim his sugar baby didnt need allof his money.

(seeing Teddys glare)Well if youre feeling so morallyuptight, I guess you wont wantthe keys to your new apartmenteither.

TEDDYApartment?

17.

DEMONBrand new, furnished, rent-free.You wanna see?

TEDDYFine. Dazzle me, demon boy.

In an instant he's got his arms around her, pulling hertight to his chest. Before she can even react, theyvedisappeared in a puff black smoke.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

A high-end city neighbourhood. Teddy and the Demonmaterialize on the sidewalk.

TEDDYWhat was that?

DEMONThe express way. Now behold

He points towards a towering new apartment complex.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

They exit an elevator. He leads her down the hall to

Apartment 666.

DEMON(holding out the keys)

Would you care to do the honours?

Carefully optimistic, Teddy takes the keys and opens thedoor.

INT. TEDDYS APARTMENT NIGHT

A sleek, modern apartment with minimalist-style furniture.The Demon gives her a tour.

DEMONKitchen, living room, bathroom,two bedrooms, and I think youlllike this

(opens a door)TEDDY

An empty room?

DEMONAn art studio.

18.

TEDDYWow. This is all pretty cool. Imactually impressed. Thanks.

DEMONYoure welcome. And if you needme, Ill be just down the hall.

TEDDYWhoa. What happened to I do mything, you do yours?

DEMONI am doing my thing. In myroomand the bathroom, of course.And the living room, and thekitchen, and the hallway if youcount going to and fro. But notyour room, thats all yours.

TEDDYYou are not staying here.

DEMONLook, kitten, the only thingstopping me from being sucked backdown to Hell is your ability tokeep yourself alive, and based onthe poor dress choices you make,Im not counting on it. So for aslong as weve got this littlearrangement going, Ill be tailingyou like a shadow.

TEDDYYou only threw in this apartmentto get me out my Dads house. Andhere I was thinking youd donesomething out the goodness of yourheart. Of course not. You areliterally a demon.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE JAMIES ROOM NIGHT

A red glow fills the room. Dark smoke everywhere. Jamieenters carrying a last slice of pie. Reacts to somethingO.S. with a look of "oh shit."

INT. TEDDYS APARTMENT NIGHT

TEDDYI thought demons couldn't lie.

19.

DEMONI didn't lie.

TEDDYYou never said this was part ofthe deal!

DEMONI didn't say it wasn't. What areyou gonna do, take me to demoncourt?

Teddys phone rings.

TEDDY(answering it)

Youll never guess who showed up.

INT DANIELS HOUSE UPSTAIRS HALLWAY NIGHT

Jamies pressed against her room door, trying to keep itshut. Through the gaps in the frame red light spills out andwe can see a moving shadow.

JAMIECan it wait? Weve got a problem.

Something bangs on the door, trying to open it.

INTERCUT JAMIE AND TEDDY.

TEDDYnWhat kind of problem?

JAMIEHave you ever seen the ending toPoltergeist?

REVEAL the inside of the house has started to change shape,like its being sucked into a black hole. Suddenly, thefloor shifts. Jamie stumbles. Drops her phone. The call goesdead.

TEDDYJamie? Jamie?!

DEMONSounds like someone forgot toclose the portal.

TEDDYnHow bad is that?

20.

DEMONAllow me to demonstrate

He removes a canvas from one of the walls and pokes a tinyhole in it.

DEMON (CONT'D)See that delicate little rip?Thats what you guys did thismorning. This is whats happeningnow.

(shoves his entire fistthrough)

TEDDYWe need to go. Now.

DEMONGo where? There? No thanks, kid.

TEDDYShe needs our help.

DEMONYour friend, your problem.

TEDDY(grabbing him by the shirtcollar)

Yeah, it is my problem. So Imgonna go over there, and Im gonnahelp her, and Ill probably getmyself killed doing it. Then itllbe your problem. So I stronglysuggest you come with me.

EXT. DANIELS HOUSE NIGHT

The Demon and Teddy materalize in the middle of the street.They looks towards the house.

Red light shines out of all the windows. The building seemsto unnaturally ripple like its a reflection on water.Seeing this, they rush inside.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE NIGHT

The whole house has become twisted like an Escher painting.Everything glows red. Wind swirls about like a tornado,sending furniture flying.

TEDDYJamie!

21.

JAMIE (O.S)Im here. This would be so coolright now if it wasnt gonna killme.

Teddy runs towards the sound of Jamies voice. The Demonfollows behind her. They try to keep on their feet as thehouse continues to warp around them. They reach what shouldbe the stairs and clamber over them.

They spot Jamie at the end of the upstairs hall, holdingsteadfast onto her bedroom door. The hallway is strangelystraight compared to the rest of the house.

JAMIESo. How are you guys?

Something slams itself against the door, blowing it off itshinges. Its thrown across the hallway, along with Jamie,slamming full force into Teddy and the Demon. The doorshatters into two pieces.

Inside Jamies room, the summoning circle has become aportal to Hell. A black entity resembling a feralthree-headed dog is trying to force its way out.

TEDDYHow do we fix this?

DEMONNo idea. I'm supposed to be on therecieving end.

JAMIEYou know, I was mostly in it forthe aesthetic.

Teddys eye wanders to the walls of crosses. Then the brokendoor.

TEDDYI have an idea.

CUT TO:

Jamie having covered one half of the door with every singlecross. Teddy and the Demon pick it up, careful not to getburned.

JAMIELast one.

TEDDYReady? Go.

22.

Together all three charge down the hall, holding the door infront of them like a shield. They slam the door into themonster. It lets out an agonizing howl as its driven back bythe crosses.

JAMIESo how do you feel about Michael?

TEDDYNot the time.

JAMIEThis is important.

TEDDYNo biblical names for the demon.

The monster is pushed back into the portal. They throw theshield of crosses in after it. Suddenly, everything startsto reverse. The house begins to straighten itself. The windblows faster and faster as the portal collapses.

Then the other half of the door is blown towards Jamiesbedroom.

DEMONWatch it!

He grabs Teddy and pulls her out of the way.

But the door still hits Jamie, knocking her into the roomand straight into the portal. She clings onto the swiftlydisappearing edge.

TEDDYJamie

Teddy moves to save her friend, but the Demon stops her.

TEDDY (CONT'D)Shes my friend.

He looks at the room. Back at her.

DEMONStay here.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE - JAMIES ROOM - NIGHT

He staggers into the room, leaning down to reach Jamie. Buttheres too much debris in the way, he needs something elseto reach her.

He spies her makeshift cross. Deliberates for a moment, thenpicks it up, gritting his teeth through the pain. He holds

23.

it out to her. Jamie grabs the end of cross. He pulls herout.

Seconds later, the portal vanishes. Everythings normalagain. In shambles, but normal.

Teddy rushes in and pulls Jamie into a hug.

JAMIEOw, ow, ow. Hit with a door.Twice.

TEDDYSorry, it's just...thank goodnessyoure okay.

DEMONHey, goodness had nothing to dowith it. I got burned for thislittle twat you know.

TEDDYGood. That makes up for all thelying by omission youve donetoday.

They all collapse on floor, completely exhausted.

DEMONSo how did you know that littlestunt with the crosses would work?

TEDDYI figured if they hurt me and you,why should that thing be anydifferent. It's the hallway thatmade me put two and two together.

DEMONClever.

TEDDYAnd I guess it's nice how yousaved Jamie. I mean, that's abasic standard of human decency,but it's a start. Maybe...havingyou for a roommate wouldnt be theworst thing ever. But we arelaying down some ground rules.

JAMIE:Did you say roommate? As in, youtwo are gonna be living together?As in, he'll be around? All the

(MORE)

24.

JAMIE: (CONT'D)time? This is the best day ever!Okay, now we definitely have togive you a name.

DEMONHow aboutJoanis.

TEDDYJoanne?

DEMONNo, Joanis.

JAMIEJanice?

DEMONJoe-anne-is. Its not that hard.

TEDDYHow about we call you Joan?

DEMONOnly if I get to call you Dora.

TEDDYLets never speak of this again.

MRS DANIELS (O.S)What in blue blazes happened here?

JAMIEUh-oh.

INT. DANIELS HOUSE HALLWAY NIGHT

Teddy, Joanis, and Jamie come out onto the landing.

At the bottom of the stairs are Mrs Daniels and MR DANIELS,just as unnaturally perfect as his wife. He even smokes apipe and wears a cardigan. They're both looking aghast anddumbfound at the state of their house.

JAMIEMum. Dad. Sohow was wine-tasting?

MR DANIELSYoung lady, what happened here?

JAMIEI opened a portal to Hell andaccidentally destroyed the house?

25.

MR DANIELS(same glazed-eyed look hiswife had earlier)

I cant believe you threw a partywithout our permission.

MRS DANIELS(same look)

I thought we taught you better.

Teddy and Joanis look at Jamie. She shrugs.

INT. TEDDYS APARTMENT ART STUDIO DAY

The rooms cluttered and in the middle of being unpacked.Teddy comes in, wearing a hoodie with the Non-Possumus Artslogo.

She takes it all in. Maybe this wont be so bad.

EXT. TEDDYS APARTMENT - DAY

She goes to an open window. Admires a bird sitting on abranch outside.

Suddenly, a lizard-like tongue snatches it up.

REVEAL:

Joanis perched on another branch, eating the bird. Teddylooks horrified. He stares back. Chews slowly. Swallows.

JOANISSorry, were youwere you gonna getthat?

Imitating the Daniels non-processing look, Teddy slowlycloses the window and walks away.

26.