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    HEALTH MATTERSCAption

    SOUL FRIENDS

    THE CONNECTIVE JOURNEY OF LOVEDr. Lalit Chawla MD, CCFP, FCFP

    is not like that. It is unreasonable to think that one individualcan satisfy your needs, especially when you consider yourlife situation is constantly evolving. To expect this from onepartner puts an unrealistic expectation on them and theyare bound to fail. Even with a compatible partner, peoplestruggle. Its the nature of being. How well would you doif you were married to an exact replica of yourself? I thinkmost people would find it a struggle if they had a chance toexperiment in this theoretical trial of living with themselves.Often we are blind to our own faults andfind it far too easy to criticize the faults ofour partner. Subsequently, that limits ourability to see how we are contributing ornot contributing to the relationship.

    There are many potential soul matesout there. When you meet someone yougrow to know each other. You will havearguments and disagreements; these arean inherent part of relationship building.In your relationship, your partner can be

    the person that grows with you and learnsto anticipate your needs. Your soul matedoesnt just appear; you work togetherto develop into each others soul mates.For the widow or divorcee reading this,you can start again with someone anewbecause the notion of one person beingthe only right one for you in a world ofseven billion people is ludicrous. Thereare going to be numerous potential soulmates that you are compatible with. To

    There are a lot of deficiencies in this world. Things that justdont work right. Situations that could be better. People who

    could be better. Relationships.

    Ive known many people who struggle with their relationships.In my experience, the commonest struggle is with their spouse/partner/ significant other however you wish to label them.People get into permanent relationships and either struggleto maintain them or they simply get out. Relationships cancommence for a variety of reasons; for example, they canbegin as a result of common interests, attraction or learnedbehaviours from being with someone you feel comfortablewith (even if that comfort zone is not healthy for you, such asdependent relationships or abusive relationships).

    Some carry on; some grow older, wiser, and aspire for more.People grow, but not all grow equally, at the same time andin the same direction. Time passes on; some have childrenand inherit new sets of challenges. Somewhere along theway though many couples struggle with their relationshipsthinking they have found their soul mate, only to questionthis decision.

    I think this notion of a soul mate is inaccurate; it is amisleading fairy tale that the mass public grows up with. Life

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    universal and the desire to share it with a person we careabout can be uniquely special.

    However, not everyone walks on the same path at thesame time. Some paths are steeper, rockier, and simplymore challenging. Our companion may not be fit to walkon that path. We cannot assign blame to the unfit personwho is trying to climb another persons Mount Everest.They may simply not have the ability, aptitude or makeupto tackle that path. This is where disunity can lead to unrest

    or confusion amongst the two partners. Couples tend tohave united experiences and have important memorieswith each other. Good or bad, these experiences create abond which is significant and difficult to ignore.

    The fact is that sometimes paths get separated naturally andone of the partners in that journey needs to take a higher,more difficult path to educate their loved ones regardingwhat lies ahead. Is there danger or paradise ahead? Dowe need to change our course? For example, one friend ofmine survived a heart attack. This awakening changed the

    way he was eating and living. He encouraged his wife toget up off the couch and make better choices. His journeyalso affected some of his friends who realized that theyshould incorporate exercise and nutritional meals into theirlifestyle. His journey influenced other peoples journeys.

    I believe we are instrumental in choosing the paths wetake and the people we choose to help us on the journey.We guide ourselves in deciding how high we climb or howfar we travel on a particular path. But rest assured, we willmeet others who help us along the way and we in turn will

    help others. Lifes relationship

    journey, especially in the path oflove, friendship and connections,is a special experience. If youhave struggled your story canilluminate those around you. Ifyou were once left behind or feltlost, your story can do the same.People learn from one another,and from different people, thatswhy one individual cannotprovide everything in your life.That is why the concept of soulmate is unrealistic. The conceptof soul friends is attainable.Soul friends are the circle ofpeople you meet in your journeythat collectively nurture yourdevelopment. Sometimes its yourimmediate partner, sometimesits not. Its perfectly okay whenits not. Everybodys circle offriends is different, everyonespath is different; you cant draw

    think that your soul mate is in a far off land half way aroundthe world doesnt make sense. Its the life journey you takewith a person that potentially evolves them into your soulmate and you into theirs.

    In lifes journey, you can expect people will change indifferent aspects of their life, whether its their health, beliefs,motivations, ideas or any other number of influencers that mayshow up. The fact is, people change and its difficult to predictthe nature, speed and trajectory of this change. Where life will

    take you in your journey is unclear but along the way, you willmeet people who are travelling on the same path and ignitecertain thoughts, behaviours and motivations. For example,your children may reignite your feelings of youth, your friendsmay nurture your hobbies, your colleagues may share in yourvocational challenges, and your parents may provide youwith lessons of resilience and patience. Regardless of theinfluencers on your growth, you will find like-minded friends;people with a common interest, vision, and desire. This can beenlightening and troublesome at the same time. Enlighteningbecause you are sharing your challenges and growth with

    another individual. Troubling if your significant other is noton the same path and thus cannot understand your journeyor collaboration. Your paths appear to be diverging and thereis a natural desire to move in the same direction together asa couple.

    A divergence in experiences can be troublesome becausegenerally speaking we all want to walk on the same path withour partner because we have a history with them. If it is a badhistory, we want it to be good. If it is a good history, we wantit to be great. The desire to share the human experience is

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    Dr. Lalit Chawla, MD, CCFP, FCFP

    A highly sought after International

    Speaker, Family Physician in Chatham,

    Ontario, and an Adjunct Professor at

    the Schulich School of Medicine and

    Dentistry in London, Ontario.

    Dr.Chawla

    www.magicandmedicine.ca

    pride through one person just as you cant draw pridewith one type of path. Your journey is unique because itis a connective impact of your friends. Choose the friendsthat impact you in a positive way. Choose friends that can

    become your soul friends because each choice you makewill determine the direction you go, the way you will traveland what condition you will be in when you arrive at yourdestination. Let those friendships matter to create greater

    joy and harmony in your world. Because how you chooseyour friends and how you choose

    to respond to your challenges willhave made all the difference.

    For a FREE COPYof Dr. Chawla's ebook coming in thespring email magicandmedicine.ca.

    "The Change Illusion: Uncovering the Secret toChange, So You Can Create The Life You Want"

    Join Dr. Chawla as he is doing a one time

    workshop right here in Chatham!

    The Life Strength WorkshopThe Myths, Mistakes and Solutions to Creating

    Greater Health, Relationships and Prosperity

    Date: Tuesday, May 24Time: 6:00pm to 9:00pm

    Ticket Price: $25.00For ticket information please contact:

    Kim BroadbentProject Co-Ordinator, CKNN

    [email protected] | 519-354-0430