Social Skills Goals

Name: What activities are you involved in on a daily or weekly basis? Are there any activities that you are not currently participating in but would like to? Who are the people you spend most of your time with? Are there people you don’t currently spend time with but would like to? What are 2 goals you would like to achieve in the next 6 months? 1. 2. THANKS!!

Social Skills

Accepting Apologies

Step 1. Look at the person and listen to their apology. Step 2. Thank the person for their apology. Step 3. If appropriate, tell the person how their apology makes you

feel.

Social Skills

Accepting Compliments

Step 1. Look at the person. Step 2. Thank the person. Step 3. Acknowledge the compliment by:

a. Saying how it made you feel or

b. Stating your feeling about the item that was complimented

Social Skills

Asking about a New Medication You Have Heard About

Step 1. Tell your doctor that you have heard about a new medication called ________.

Step 2. Ask your doctor if he or she thinks that this medication may be

helpful for you. Step 3. Discuss the pros and cons of changing to a new medication. Step 4. Listen carefully to what the doctor says. Step 5. Let the doctor know what you think.

Social Skills

Asking for Feedback About Job Performance

Step 1. Identify an area in which you would like some feedback. Step 2. Request feedback from the appropriate person. Say

something like: “I’m interested in knowing how you think I am doing with . I would like to talk with you when you have a

chance.” Step 3. Listen carefully to the person’s response, especially any

suggestions that he or she may make. Step 4. If you do not understand the suggestions, ask the person

to clarify them. Step 4. Thank the person for their time.

Social Skills

Asking for Help Step 1. Choose a person whom you feel you can trust. Step 2. Use a calm and clear voice. Step 3. Tell the person what you need help with. Be

specific. Step 4. Listen carefully to what the person suggests. Step 5. Thank the person for his or her help.

Social Skills

Asking for Information

Step 1. Use a calm and clear voice. Step 2. Ask the person for the information you need. Be

specific. Step 3. Listen carefully to what the person says. Step 4. Repeat back what they say.

Social Skills

Asking for Privacy

Step 1. Identify the person you need to talk to about getting privacy. Step 2. Choose the right time and place. Step 3. Explain to the person that you need some private time. Step 4. Tell the person of a time period when you will need privacy.

Social Skills

Asking Questions About Health-Related Concerns

Step 1. Choose a person to speak to, such as staff member, nurse, or a doctor.

Step 2. Ask the person your question. Step 3. If you do not understand their answer or are not comfortable

with their answer, ask more questions. Step 4. Thank the person for their help.

Social Skills

Asking Questions About Medication

Step 1. Choose a person to speak to (such as staff member, nurse, doctor or family member)

Step 2. Ask the person your question about medication. Be specific. Step 3. If you do not understand their answer, ask more questions. Step 4. Thank the person for their help.

Social Skills

Asking Someone for a Date

Step 1. Choose an appropriate person to ask. Step 2. Suggest an activity to do together. Step 3. Listen to the person’s response and do one of the following:

a) If the person responds positively, choose a day and

time b) If the person is not interested in a date, thank the

person for being honest with you.

Social Skills

Calling Family and Friends

Step 1. Choose a person to call. Step 2. Greet the person warmly. Step 3. Maintain the conversation by

Asking questions and

Talking about yourself Step 4. End the conversation

Social Skills

Checking Out Your Beliefs

Step 1. Choose a person you trust to talk to. Step 2. Tell the person what your belief is. Step 3. Ask the person what his or her opinion is. Step 4. Repeat back the opinion and thank him or her for their point

of view.

Social Skills

Complaining about Medication Side Effects

Step1. Choose a person to speak to, such as a staff member, a nurse, a doctor, or a family member.

Step 2. Tell the person you are concerned that you may be experiencing side effects from your medication.

Step 3. Describe the symptoms you are experiencing. Be specific.

Step 4. If you are speaking to a medical person, ask for advice about how to handle the symptoms. If you are speaking to a nonmedical person, ask for help in setting up a medical appointment.

Social Skills

Compromise and Negotiation

Step 1. Explain your viewpoint briefly. Step 2. Listen to the other person’s viewpoint. Step 3. Repeat the other person’s viewpoint. Step 4. Suggest a compromise.

Social Skills

Dealing with a difficult boss

Step 1. Make eye contact. Step 2. Stay calm. Step 3. Focus on the issue. Step 4. Ask for specifics.

Social Skills

Disagreeing with Another’s Opinion without Arguing

Step 1. Briefly state your point of view. Step 2. Listen to the other person’s opinion without interrupting. Step 3. If you don’t agree with the other person’s opinion, simply

state that it is okay to disagree. Step 4. End the conversation or move on to another topic.

Social Skills

Eating and Drinking Politely

Step 1. Take your time and check the temperature of the food or drink. Step 2. Take small bites or sips, and chew all food thoroughly. Step 3. Swallow what is in your mouth before speaking. Step 4. Use a napkin to wipe hands and mouth.

Social Skills

Ending a Date

Step 1. Thank the person for spending time with you. Step 2. If you enjoyed the date, tell the person that you would like to

get together again. Step 3. Say “Good-bye.”

Social Skills

Ending Conversations

Step 1. Wait until the other person has finished talking. Step 2. Use a non-verbal gesture such as glancing away or looking at

your watch. Step 3. Make a closing comment, such as “well, I really need to go

now.” Step 4. Say good-bye.

Social Skills

Entering into an Ongoing Conversation

Step 1. Wait for a break in the flow of the conversation.

Step 2. Say something like “May I join you?”

Step 3. Decide whether the people engaged in the conversation are OK with your joining in.

Step 4. Say things related to the subject of the conversation.

Social Skills

Expressing Affection

Step 1. Choose a person whom you are fond of. Step 2. Pick a time and place where you can be with the person in

private. Step 3. Express affection using a warm and caring voice tone and/or

by offering a warm physical gesture. Step 4. Tell the person why you feel this way.

Social Skills

Expressing Angry Feelings

Step 1. Look at the person. Speak firmly and calmly. Step 2. Tell the person specifically what they did that made you

angry. Be brief. “When you……..I feel…..” Step 3. Tell the person about your angry feelings. Step 4. Suggest how the person might prevent the situation from

happening in the future.

Social Skills

Expressing Positive Feelings

Step 1. Look at the person and SMILE! Step 2. Tell the person specifically what they did that

pleased you. Step 3. Tell the person how it made you feel.

Social Skills

Expressing Unpleasant Feelings

Step 1. Look at the person. Speak calmly and firmly. Step 2. Tell the person specifically what they did that

upset you. Step 3. Tell the person how it made you feel. Step 4. Suggest how the person might avoid upsetting you

in the future.

Social Skills

Finding Common Interests

Step 1. Introduce yourself or greet the person you want to talk with. Step 2. Ask the person what activities or hobbies they enjoy. Step 3. Tell the person about what activities or hobbies you enjoy. Step 4. Try to find a common interest.

Social Skills

Following Verbal Instructions

Step 1. Listen carefully to what the person giving the instructions is saying.

Step 2. If you are confused about what was said, ask the person to

repeat the instructions. Step 3. Repeat back the instructions to the person. Step 4. Ask more questions if you still do not understand.

Social Skills

Getting Your Point Across

Step 1. Decide on the main point you want to get across. Step 2. Speak in short sentences and stay on the topic. Step 3. Pause to let the other person speak or ask questions. Step 4. Answer any questions.

Social Skills

Giving Compliments

Step 1. Look at the person Step 2. Use a positive, sincere tone Step 3. Be specific about what it is that you like.

Social Skills

Handling Nosy Questions

Step 1. Look at the person.

Step 2. Give a vague response to the question.

Step 3. If the person persists, tell them something like:

“That’s personal”

or

“I’d rather not discuss it”

Step 4. Change topics or end the conversation.

Social Skills

Handling Unwanted Advice

Step 1. Listen to the person.

Step 2. Thank the person for their concern. Step 3. End the conversation or change the subject.

Social Skills

Interviewing for a Job

Step 1. Look at the person. Step 2. Shake the interviewer’s hand and introduce yourself using a

confident voice tone. Step 3. Tell the interviewer why you are interested in this job. Step 4. Answer any job-related questions the interviewer asks you. Step 5. Thank the interviewer for his or her time.

Social Skills

Joining Ongoing Conversations at Work

Step 1. Wait for a break or a pause in the flow of the conversation. Step 2. Say something like “Mind if I join you?” Step 3. Say things related to the conversation topic.

Social Skills

Leaving Stressful Situations

Step 1. Evaluate whether the situation is stressful. Step 2. Tell the other person that the situation is stressful

and that you must leave. Step 3. If there is a conflict, tell the person that you will

discuss it with them at another time. Step 4. Leave the situation.

Social Skills Letting Someone Know That You Feel

Unsafe

Step 1. Choose a person you trust to speak to. Step 2. Tell that person what is making you feel unsafe.

Try to be specific about your fears. Step 3. Ask the person for advice.

Social Skills

Listening to Others

Step 1. Maintain eye contact. Step 2. Nod your head. Step 3. Say “uh-huh” or “ok” Step 4. Repeat what the person said.

Social Skills

Locating Your Missing Belongings

Step 1. Ask yourself these questions:

a. When did I have it last?

b. Was there anyone around me at that time? Step 2. Take some time to look carefully for the item you cannot find. Step 3. If you still have not found the item, ask someone for help.

Say something like “Have you seen my ________? I am looking for it.”

Social Skills

Maintaining a Conversation by Asking Questions

Step 1. Greet the person.

Step 2. Ask a question about something you would like to know about.

Step 3. Judge whether the person is listening and is interested in pursuing the conversation.

Social Skills

Maintaining a Conversation by Giving Factual Information

Step 1. Greet the person.

Step 2. Share some information about a topic you would like to discuss.

Step 3. Judge whether the other person is listening and is interested in pursuing the conversation.

Social Skills

Maintaining a Conversation by Expressing Feelings or Opinions

Step 1. Greet the person. Step 2. Make a brief statement about how something makes you

feel. Step 3. Judge if the person is listening and is interested in continuing

the conversation. Examples of “feeling” words: Glad Worried Relieved Disappointed Happy Angry Excited Sad

Social Skills

Maintaining a Conversation

Step 1. Greet the person.

Step 2. Maintain the conversation by:

Making a brief statement about how something makes you feel (Examples: Glad, Worried, Relieved, Disappointed, Happy, Angry, Excited, Sad)

OR

Asking a general question

OR

Giving information

Step 3. Judge if the person is listening and is interested in continuing the conversation.

Social Skills

Making a Doctor’s Appointment on the Phone

Step 1. Identify yourself or give your name. Step 2. Tell the person that you would like to make an

appointment to see the doctor. Step 3. Listen to the person’s response. Be ready to

provide any information that he or she may ask for.

Step 4. Repeat back the time and date of the appointment

given to you and then thank the person for his or her help.

Social Skills

Making Apologies

Step 1. Look at the person. Step 2. State the apology: “I’m sorry for ________.” Step 3. If realistic, assure the person that it won’t happen in the

future.

Social Skills

Making Complaints

Step 1. Look at the person. Speak firmly and calmly. Step 2. State your complaint. Be specific about what the situation is. Step 3. Tell the person how the problem might be solved.

Social Skills

Making Requests

Step 1. Look at the person. Step 2. Say exactly what you would like the person to do. Step 3. Tell the person how it would make you feel.

In making your request, use phrases like:

“I would like you to __________”

“I would really appreciate it if you would ______”

“It’s very important to me that you help me with _________”

Social Skills

Offering an Alternative to Using Drugs and Alcohol

Step 1. Look at the person. Make eye contact. Step 2. Use a firm voice and tell the person that you don’t want to use

drugs or alcohol. Step 3. Give the person a reason why you do not want to use. Step 4. Suggest another activity. If the person has drugs or alcohol

with him or her, leave the situation.

Social Skills

Refusing Pressure to Engage in High-Risk Sexual Behavior

Step 1. Tell your partner that you will not engage in the high-risk sexual activity.

Step 2. Explain your reason for refusing to do so. Step 3. If you still want to engage in sex, suggest a different sexual

activity that is safer. Step 4. If the person continues to pressure you, tell him or her that you

need to leave.

Social Skills

Refusing Requests

Step 1. Look at the person. Speak firmly and calmly. Step 2. Tell the person you cannot do what he or she asked. Use a

phrase such as “I’m sorry but I cannot _____________.” Step 3. Give a reason if it seems necessary.

Social Skills

Refusing Unwanted Sexual Advances

Step 1. Using a firm voice, tell the person that you are not interested in having sex.

Step 2. Depending on your relationship with that person, explain why

you feel that way. Step 3. If the person does not listen and continues to pressure you,

leave the situation.

Social Skills

Reminding Someone Not to Spread Germs

Step 1. Look at the person. Step 2. Tell the person how he or she is spreading germs: Be specific. Step 3. Suggest what the person can do differently. Step 4. Thank the person if he or she follows your suggestion. If your

suggestion is not followed, tell someone in charge.

Social Skills

Reporting Pain and Other Physical Symptoms

Step 1. Choose an appropriate person to speak to.

Step 2. Tell the person that you are not feeling well.

Step 3. Describe the symptoms (pain, dizziness) to that person.

Step 4. Listen to that person's response and ask for help if you need it.

Social Skills

Requesting a Change in Your Medication Dosage

Step 1. Choose an appropriate person to speak to (e.g., a nurse or doctor).

Step 2. Explain why you want a change in your medication dosage. Step 3. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of changing your

medication dosage. Step 4. Ask questions if you do not understand what is being said. Step 5. If you disagree with the advice, suggest a compromise.

Social Skills

Requesting That a Family Member or Friend Stop Asking You to Use Drugs and Alcohol

Step 1. Look at the person. Make eye contact. Step 2. Use a firm voice and tell the person that you don’t want to use

drugs or alcohol. Step 3. Give the person a reason why you do not want to use. Step 4. Request that the person not ask you to use drugs or alcohol.

Social Skills

Requesting That Your Partner Use a Condom

Step 1. Choose a time and place where you and your partner can talk in private.

Step 2. Tell your partner that you would like him to wear a condom. Step 3. Explain your reasons for making the request. Step 4. If he refuses, tell him that you will not engage in any sexual

activity with him until he uses one.

Social Skills

Responding to a Stranger or a Drug Dealer

Step 1. Decide whether to make eye contact. Step 2. Tell the person that you don’t want to use drugs or alcohol. Be

brief. Step 3. If appropriate, give the person a reason why you do not want to

use. Step 4. Leave the situation.

Social Skills

Responding to Complaints

Step 1. Look at the person and remain calm.

Step 2. Listen to the complaint, keeping an open mind.

Step 3. Repeat back what the person said.

Step 4. Accept responsibility and apologize if necessary.

Social Skills

Responding to Criticism from a Supervisor

Step 1. Without interrupting or getting angry, listen carefully to what is being said to you.

Step 2. Repeat back what your supervisor said. Step 3. Ask your supervisor what you can do to improve the

situation. Step 4. If you do not understand what was said, continue to ask

questions until it becomes clear.

Social Skills

Responding to Untrue Accusations

Step 1. Using a calm voice, simply deny the accusation. Step 2. If the other person continues to accuse you, ask

the person to stop. Step 3. If the person does not stop accusing you, tell him

or her that you are going to ask a staff member to assist with the situation.

Step 4. Walk away and get assistance if necessary.

Social Skills

Responding to Unwanted Advice

Step 1. Politely acknowledge the advice given. Step 2. Express appreciation for the person’s concern. Step 3. Tell the person that you will think about it, and

then change the subject. Step 4. If the person persists, let him or her know that you

are not interested in the advice.

Social Skills

Solving Problems

Step 1. Define the problem. Step 2. Use brainstorming to generate a list of possible solutions. Step 3. Identify the advantages and disadvantages of each solution. Step 4. Select the best solution or combination of solutions. Step 5. Plan how to carry out the best solution. Step 6. Follow up the plan at a later time.

Social Skills

Starting a Conversation with a New or

Unfamiliar Person

Step 1. Choose the right time and place.

Step 2. If you do not know the person, introduce yourself. If

you know the person, say “Hi.”

Step 3. Choose a topic that you would like to talk about OR ask

a question.

Step 4. Judge whether the other person is listening and wants

to talk.

Social Skills

Staying on the Topic Set by Another Person

Step 1. Decide what the topic is by listening to the person who is speaking.

Step 2. If you do not understand what the topic is after listening, ask the person.

Step 3. Say things related to the topic.

Social Skills

What to Do If You Think Somebody Has Something of Yours

Step 1. Using a calm voice, ask the person if he or she has the item. Do not accuse the person.

Step 2. Listen to the person’s answer. Step 3. If you are not satisfied with his or her answer, ask a staff

person or someone you trust for help.

Social Skills

What to Do When Someone Goes Off the Topic

Step 1. Say something like “That’s interesting; can we talk about that after we finish this discussion?”

Step 2. If the person has forgotten what the topic is, politely remind him or her.

Step 3. Judge whether the other person is still interested in the original topic.

Step 4. If the other person is interested, continue the discussion. If he or she is not interested, politely end the conversation or talk about something new.

Social Skills

What to Do When You Do Not Understand What a Person is Saying

Step 1. Tell the person that you are confused or that you did not understand what was said.

Step 2. Ask the person to repeat or explain what was just said.

Step 3. Ask further questions if you still do not understand.