Back to School Wellness SeriesPresented by:

Margaret Donnelly & Brigette Uzar USR School Counselors

Social Relationships

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Social Relationships Matter In life, relationships underpin teaching, learning, and prosocial development. Positive social connections with people at all stages of life help ensure healthy development, physically, socially and emotionally.

For children they learn through play and build social skills through relationships with family and peers.

As children transition to adolescence and start to spend less time with parents and siblings, friendships with peers become an increasingly important source of these social connections.

Building relationships and fostering a sense of community are essential for children/adolescents to learn and grow.

In terms of rewards, our relationships give us emotional support and encouragement during difficult times. They also bring us happiness. Social relationships are an important social determinant of health throughout our lives.

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Surviving Months of QuarantineOur Worry List:

The struggle is real! We have had significant adjustments in our everyday routines & work obligations. Going to work, and getting your kids educated at the same time was challenging.

-Social Deprivation/Isolation- Feeling Disconnected

-Rites of Passage for Younger Kids such as: Learning to share & take turns, playing outside in the neighborhood or park, sports, birthday parties, learning safety and life skills among peers

-Rites of Passage for Young Teens such as: Special Events, Graduation, Sports, Clubs, Trips, Preparation for High School and Camp Experiences

-Families were deprived of seeing loved ones due to travel restrictions, may have experienced loss, major milestone events such as family weddings, reunions, and trips were cancelled. So what can we do?

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Tips to Ease Worries and Concerns for Children -Children tend to be resilient and even without peer interaction, kids can develop emotionally and socially in ways that will prepare them for real-life friendships when things begin to get back to normal.

-Excessive worrying about what your child is missing may cause them stress. Try to change your perspective and theirs by cultivating activities and opportunities for them to be engaged.

-Remember that the relationship you have with your children provides them the security they are missing during this unpredictable time. Your child’s attachment to you will set them up to build strong relationships outside the home when the time comes.

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Tips to Ease Anxiety with Friendships for Adolescents1. Try not to judge: A healthy friendship is where both people feel seen in a safe way. We all have different levels of comfort regarding COVID. Keeping friends from feeling insulted or judged can be a challenge, so it’s important to be honest with how you feel.

2. Be transparent: Share both your expectations and comfort levels to allow everyone to make educated decisions about socializing. Without discussions we dance around others feelings, and may hurt feelings in the process.

3. Shift the conversation: If you’re not comfortable with the way a friend wants to socialize, focus on your own way forward instead of the actions of others. Social distancing doesn’t equate to emotional distancing.

4. Don’t argue about it: Don’t try to convince friends of your views, some things are non-negotiable and this is where social boundaries and communication are key.

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The 3 R’s - Routine, Resilience and Responsiveness Routine - Significant adjustments in routines create a feeling of unpredictability and insecurity. Creating a routine that includes social activity is important. Schedule time to come together to play games, watch a movie or sit outside at night and look at the stars

Resilience - Our children have a great deal of resilience and optimism that comes naturally. Continue to tap into these important character traits which will support them when they have conflict.

Responsiveness - Remember to make eye contact with your child, show affection, express your love for them, tell them you are proud and show interest in their hobbies.

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Social Skills &Training Wheels

Think of social interactions as a skill like learning to ride a bike. Children need the training wheels in order to build resilience and strength. They will fall down and with your support they will learn to pick themselves up. Eventually they will ride the bike on their own which fosters independence.

Give your child the opportunity to practice social skills. They are going to fall down, but eventually they will learn and grow from the practice.

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Encouraging Social & Emotional Growth at HomeHelp your child resolve conflict on their own with siblings. Give them the tools to resolve differences. This will set your child up to work with classmates and work through conflict with friends in a positive way when we return to our new normal.

Talk about how important each child is in the family and the important roles they play in the family. Encourage older siblings to help younger siblings.

If you have a pet this is the perfect time to encourage your child to take on more responsibility. It will also instill empathy, responsibility and reliability.

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Encouraging Social and Emotional Growth ContinuedIt is important for our children to see us make mistakes. It is okay to show your emotions and express frustrations. The quarantine has been stressful for everyone. It is appropriate to take a break and to encourage your child to do so when emotions become overwhelming.

It is essential that we highlight in our families that it is okay to have different opinions and views. It instills confidence and self-esteem.

Remember we are all working toward finding the right path. If we walk together, we are not alone.

Think of time in the Quarantine as time well spent while reinforcing positive social behaviors and coping skills.

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At Home Social Activities for Families & Friends When Searching for Social InteractionYounger elementary/ Upper elementary children- Board games (Battleship, Candy Land, Chutes & Ladders, Sorry)Charades- Either use the traditional rules, or just act goofy and ask friends to guess what you're doing.Legos/Beyblades/other toys- Any toy that occupies your kid for a while can be played with alongside a friend or family member on the screen.Marshmallow/toothpick structures-Look for building challenges using household materials online. If you don't have marshmallows, try pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, construction paper, or cotton swabs. A few kids can print out the same challenge and then work on it simultaneously. They can cheer each other on, offer tips, or even race to see who finishes first.

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Parallel play-Little kids may just enjoy playing side by side with an occasional glance to see that a friend is still there. You and the other parent can set up webcams for your kids and see how it goes.

Playdough or clay- Take out all the clay and any cutting or shaping tools and get started. Works well as parallel play or with specific goals ("Let's all make animals," or "Let's each make something and then guess what the other friends made").

Puzzles- A couple friends or a grandparent and a kid can chill out with their own puzzles, chatting at the same time.

Scavenger hunts- For younger kids, parents can guide the hunt by choosing something to find. For example, "Find something blue!" Or, "Find five of the same object!" Or, "Find three things that start with the letter B!" Older kids might want to jointly come up with a list of items and then race to find them first.

Show-and-tell This can work with a small group of kids so long as an adult can facilitate. Each kid takes a turn showing something from their homes and discuss it.

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Tweens/TeensBoard games (Balderdash, Pictionary, Sorry, Trivial Pursuit)

DIY crafts- Whatever your kid's into -- knitting, decoupage, scrapbooking, Legos -- they probably have a friend with a similar interest. They can do it together, or one can teach the other.

Make movies- For kids interested in filmmaking or just into YouTube, teaming up on a short film can be fun and kill some time. Take turns writing a script in a Google Doc, and then decide who will get which shots. Whomever has editing skills can pull it all together. Then schedule a screening via Zoom.

Cook or Garden together as a Family

Take a trip to the farmer’s market or local farm.

In the midst of hecticness, creativity reigns!

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Kind gestures friends can make in real life…

1. Go analog with a return to old fashioned letter writing. Whether your child can scribble, draw, or write letters, have him or her dedicate some time to creating cards to mail to friends near and far.

2. Start a craft scavenger hunt in your neighborhood by appealing to folks on your community message boards. Ask neighbors to hang a new drawing in their windows each week for kids to spot on family walks. Try Easter eggs, rainbows, flowers, and more.

3. Challenge your child’s classroom to a tower-building contest. Send out an email to the school directory and engage your child’s competitive side, inviting each student to build the tallest/most architecturally complex/most creative tower they can. Have parents snap a photo, send it in, and let the people vote!

4. Show friends you care by leaving special treats at their door, whether it’s a handmade card, art project, or encouraging message scrawled in chalk across their sidewalk. Who wouldn’t love peering out the window to find a “We can do this!” waiting for them?

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Social Relationships - Thoughts to Ponder

The most powerf ul way to connect to another human being is to listen. Validate your child’s feelings and concerns.

Ensure that a routine/schedule is in place because it supports emotional regulation in a time when things are often unpredictable. Children find routines to be reassuring and calming. Consistency and structure provide comfort.

Keep a sense of perspective. Engage in positive thinking and continue to create a positive narrative for yourself and family.

Most importantly - BE KIND AND REASONABLE WITH YOURSELF!! There is no rule book for COVID. We are in this together!

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Social Relationships Summary Make the most of FAMILY TIME! Continue to make time for one another. You are making memories that will never be forgotten. This time together is a wonderf ul time to “model” problem solving, flexibility, compassion, kindness and creativity. Again, this will enhance your child‘s social skills outside the home.

Use routine to support family health and well-being. Schedule wake-up time, bed-time, schoolwork and FAMILY TIME!! Structure is important and it helps maintain positivity and independence.

Stay connected with others in creative ways. Reach out to family members through zoom, old fashioned letter writing and phone calls (great social skills practice).

Manage Conflict in a positive way. Talk about the character trait of fairness/empathy.

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ResourcesParenting Tips-https://www.unicef.org/media/67211/file

9 Tips for Maintaning Friendships https://thebottomline.as.ucsb.edu/2020/05/nine-tips-for-maintaining-friendships-during-quarantine

Will my Child Bounce Backhttps://childmind.org/article/will-my-child-bounce-back-from-the-coronavirus-crisis/

Social- Emotional Wellnesshttps://cdn-blob-prd.azureedge.net/prd-pws/docs/default-source/default-document-library/parent-and-family-covid-sel-resource-doe.pdfHelping Children Copehttps://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/helping-children-cope-with-changes-resulting-from-covid-19

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Questions..

Thank you for joining us and we will see you in September. buzar@usrschoolsk8.com mdonnelly@usrschoolsk8.com

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