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Looks can be deceptive, especially if it’s what we see on social media, says Sharon Fernandes

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mythical Shangri-La online. Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan’s

debut book You Are Here was a spin-off from her own unabashed offline-online life. She says, “For the first time in collective human history, everyone has the chance to curate their own life. Anything we put on social media will never be the whole truth. We will never put up the other side of an argument or even a picture of burnt food.”

Studies on social networking sites all agree on one thing – we are under pressure to conform to a perfect picture. One such study by the University of Michigan linked Facebook and Twitter usage to an increase in narcissistic personality traits. One could liken this to an inexplicable mood shift; we log on and we convert into entirely different versions of ourselves. It all adds up to the persona that we want to project. We feed this personality until it’s different from the real picture. Bengaluru-based journalist Bindiya Thomas says, “A friend who is often broke is checking into expensive restaurants. The truth is, he just goes there, smokes and leaves.”

Our identity in the 21st century is in sync with our social personalities. It’s now second nature to have photo sessions at even mundane get-togethers knowing they will be uploaded before we’re home. In the end, we’ve all become poseurs.

But there are people who are affected by these seemingly perfect pseudo-lives of others. We’re aware of the incomplete truths of our lives, yet we measure ourselves against impossible odds. According to Dr Milan Balakrishnan, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, it’s because of “the fact that we can connect to strangers that increases the possibility that people may show themselves in better light than is true.” The problem is, “when this behaviour determines your self-worth. You could go far to keep the attention coming like creating a

false projection.”San

Francisco-based writer Esmé Weijun Wang highlights this disconnect between our real and virtual selves – especially on Instagram on her blog (esmewang.com). A trip

to Taiwan to meet with family led to her penning an e-book called Radical Sincerity. It’s a manisfesto on authentic communication. She writes, “I spend most of my days in bed. There is so much that isn’t put on Instagram. There is so much that goes unsaid.” Esmé captions her images narrating events that actually accompanied that picture, even if they were a little imperfect.

And as Meenakshi says, “Once you start being very honest about your life, it’s liberating. You stop caring about whether this picture will make me look fat.” It’s step one towards becoming the real you.

Late fashion designer L’Wren Scott, rocker Mick Jagger’s

partner, frequently made headlines because of her luxurious lifestyle. Most followers can recall her Instagram post of using a US$ 5000-Louis Vuitton bag as an in-flight footrest. She had it all, it seemed. But she took her own life. L’Wren had been struggling with her business and was in debt amounting to US$ 5.6 million. The life she projected was far from the truth.

Before the judgment commences, let’s be honest, we’re all guilty of this deceit. Byte by byte, our posts create a smorgasbord of a wonderful life. Our lives, as projected on social networks waft on a cloud of high points. We’re addicted to likes, retweets, +1s and hearts. This conformity to posting only the good things in life is harming us. It’s almost as if we’ve created our very own

@kimkardashian Reality star Kim’s wedding snap with

rapper Kanye West made Instagram history with the

most likes at 2.23 m.

@beyoncé The hip-hop diva drew flak

for a post of her golfing with an impossible thigh gap.

The infamous elevator spat between beau Jay-Z and

sister Solange was glossed over with four posts of sister love. She’s on the top of this

chart at 13 m followers.

@jenselter 20-year-old, Jen is known as the Belfie (butt selfie) queen. Her Instagram images have amassed 3.7 m followers at

last count.

@danbilzerian Multimillionaire poker

star Dan is all about cash, cars, girls and guns. Daily Mail calls him Instagram’s

playboy king at 3 m followers.

@itslavishbitch Param Shah, an 18-year-old

from San Francisco holds the title of Instagram’s most-hated person due

to his posts of a ridiculously rich lifestyle.

394 k haters and counting.

Instagram’s Questionable

Superstars

Illustration Scott Fletcher

“Byte by byte, our persona in posts creates a

smorgasbord of a wonderful life”