Social Customs

8/9/2019 Social Customs

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Guideline Series

Social Customs

&Traditions

of the

Sea Services


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The History of Naval Services FamilyLine

Naval Services FamilyLine is a volunteer, non-profit organization dedicated to

improving the quality of life for every Navy family. Formerly known as the Navy

Wifeline Association, the new name was adopted in September 1999 to reflect the

changing face of todays sea services.FamilyLine was established in 1965 by a group of Navy wives who wanted to

establish a channel of communication for all Navy spouses. The aim was to provide a

welcome and introduction to Navy life and to increase the spouses understanding of the

Navys mission.

This dedicated group established an office at the Washington Navy Yard and

published a quarterly newspaper, providing information and assistance to wives who were

moving overseas. These Navy wives had the foresight to see the need for spouse and

family support and provided the ground work for what has developed into a world-wide

family support network.With the support of the Chief of Naval Operations and Navy leadership, along

with the financial support of the Navy League, Spouses Clubs worldwide, and other Navy,

Marine Corps, and Coast Guard organizations, Naval Services FamilyLine has continued

to grow and flourish.

Admiral Elmo Zumwalt established the Ombudsman Program in 1970. The

Chairman of FamilyLine was appointed Navy-wide Family Ombudsman-at-Large for the

Chief of Naval Operations.

In 1988, the first Ombudsman Journal was published and the Navy-wide

Ombudsmen Support Network was established.For more than forty years, FamilyLine volunteers have maintained a worldwide

support network for Navy, service members and their families. Today, the spouses of

service members work together to continue this fine tradition.

This publication is paid for by Naval Services FamilyLine and distributed to you

free by FamilyLine volunteers under the supervision of the CNO Navy-wide Family

Ombudsman-at-Large. FamilyLine is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

Donations are welcome and appreciated. They are tax deductible and will be usedto help defray the cost of this and other FamilyLine publications.

Naval Services FamilyLine

1043 Harwood Street, SE, Suite 100

Washington Navy Yard, DC 20374-5067

Phone: 202-433-2333

Toll-Free: 1-877-673-7773

DSN: 288-2333

Fax: 202-433-4622E-mail: [email protected]

www.lifelines.navy.mil/Familyline

April 2009


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table

ofcontents

The History o Naval Services FamilyLineWelcome Aboard! .................................................................. 2A Short History o Sea Service Traditions.............................. 3Introductions & Forms o Address ....................................... 4

Introductions CorrespondenceSea Service Etiquette ............................................................. 8

Shipboard Etiquette Flag Etiquette National AnthemEtiquette Service Song Etiquette

Ceremonies.......................................................................... 11Change o Command Senior Enlisted TransitionCeremonies Keel-laying Christening or Launching Commissioning Decommissioning Retirement

Social Functions & Traditions ............................................ 13Receptions Hails & Farewells Wetting-Down Parties Dining-Ins Dining-Outs Mess Nights Chie Petty Ofcer Transition LDO Commissioning All Hands Parties Calls Calling Cards Navy Ball The Marine Corps Birthday Ball Coast Guard Picnic

Entertaining......................................................................... 18General Guidelines Invitations Host/Hostess Gits

Attire Guidelines ................................................................. 21Sea Service Activities & Organizations ............................... 23 Club & Command Family Association Groups

Volunteering Spouses o Senior Ofcers & Senior EnlistedPersonnel The Navy Family Ombudsman The Marine Corps Key Volunteer Network The Coast Guard Ombudsman

Support & Resource Services .............................................. 29Forms o Address Reerence Charts .................................... 36Flags, Pennants, & Customs Chart ..................................... 40Acronyms & Abbreviations ................................................. 41Publications & Reerences .................................................. 43

Tableof ConTenTs

Naval Services FamilyLine1043 Harwood Street, SE, Suite 100Washington Navy Yard, DC 20374

Phone: 202-433-2333

Toll Free: 1-877-673-7773DSN: 288-2333

Fax: 202-433-4622Email: [email protected]

www.lielines.navy.mil/FamilyLine


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WelCome aboard!

This booklet has been written as a guide to social customs andtraditions that are distinct to the sea services. It also contains in-

ormation on the etiquette o everyday social lie as it is generallyobserved today. Weve tried to answer some o the whys as well assome o the whats so that you will be comortable in a variety osocial and military situations and be able to adapt to the variations othese customs. The particular customs and traditions discussed hereare especially important because o the nature o sea service careers.

As part o the sea service community, your lie will hold manyrewarding experiences or you. Some will challenge all your abilities;and some, your sense o humor. You will nd that you become as

close to military riends as you are to your own amily.You will most likely be making your home in many places,

including oreign countries, and will want to have some idea owhat to do and what to expect. The social customs o the Army, AirForce, and other uniormed services (and some oreign nations), aresimilar to our own sea service customs. So wherever you go, you willnd military riends and a way o lie with which you are amiliar. Isome things are dierent, or you are living in a oreign country, onceyou have your sea legs, you will easily adapt.

While rules o etiquette are important to ollow, always keep inmind that no rules will replace a warm heart, a riendly smile, andthe sincere desire to share in the ellowship and camaraderie o thesea services.

We hope this booklet will help make you eel more at home inthe service and that you are ready to enjoy this special way o lie.Most o all, we are happy to welcome you aboard!

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Most traditions observed by the sea services today had their ori-gins in early history. Many were borrowed in colonial times rom the

British Royal Navy. As years passed, early customs gradually becameestablished traditions.

Change of CommandWhen a British ocer received orders to command, he traveled

to his new ship, boarded, called the crew together, read his ordersand took command. Todays ceremony is basically the same. Beorethe assembled crew (and guests), the CO and prospective CO readtheir orders so all will know that the chain o authority and respon-

sibility has passed unbroken to the new commander.

Piping Over the SideAnother tradition which comes down rom the days o sail is

that o piping over the side. A dignitary boarding or leaving a shipon an ocial visit passes through a line o sailors called sideboysaccompanied by the shrill whistle o the boatswains (bosns) pipe.Years ago, the sideboys hoisted the dignitary aboard ship by pullingthe line connected to the bosns chair in which he sat. Since senior

ocers tended to be heavier, more sideboys were needed to lit asenior admiral over the side o the ship. Hence, today, the higherthe rank o the visitor, the greater the number o sideboys.

Sea service traditions and customs have changed over the yearsand vary rom time to time and rom place to place. You will not ndevery custom and tradition described in this book practiced in ex-actly the same way at every duty station or within every command.However, in one orm or another, they are widely prevalent. We hope

the inormation provided in this booklet will be helpul to you dur-ing your association with the military -- and as you go through lie.

a shorT hisToryof seaserviCe TradiTions

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IntroductIonsKnowing how to introduce other people is a basic part o good

manners. Generally, there are no hard and ast rules or introduc-tions, except in military and diplomatic protocol. In the ollowingdiscussion, there are some tips and guidelines or introductions andintroducing people in various situations. Starting on page 43, youwill nd several handy reerence charts or the correct orms oaddress or ocer and enlisted personnel. It is important to be a-miliar and comortable with the correct way to introduce and meetpeople; but remember, a warm, riendly smile is your greatest asset.

Introducing Members of the MilitaryWhen you introduce members o the military to someone,

introduce them by rank or title. When an enlisted person is beingintroduced to an ocer, this is especially important, because pro-essionally they do not address each other by their rst names. Bygiving titles, rates, and ranks, you provide the necessary inormationto both parties.

Dont worry, sometimes it can be dicult when addressing orintroducing military personnel. Your intention to do the right thingwill be more than sucient to make up or any slips you mightmake through inexperience.

Chaplain is a proper orm o address or military clergyregardless o rank.

Military doctors and dentists are addressed as Dr. through therank o commander and then should be addressed by rank.

Captain: The Rank or the CO?Navy and Coast Guard ranks and rates are dierent rom those

o other services. One orm o address that you may nd conusing iswhen Navy and Coast Guard members call the Commanding Ocero a ship Captain regardless o the actual rank o that ocer. Inother words, a Commanding Ocer might be a Lieutenant, but thecrew may still address him/her as Captain. Introducing Military Spouses

When meeting other military spouses, you should do whatcomes naturally. A little sensitivity and tact will tell you when it willbe comortable and appropriate to be on a frst name basis. However,when frst introduced to a spouse older than you, it is best frst to

inTroduCTions &formsof address

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address him/her by Mr. or Mrs. I the spouse asks you to be on a frstname basis, then eel ree to do so.

In the past, there was a direct connection between a womanssocial title and her marital status. Many women still ollow thattradition, but others preer to use Ms whether they are married ornot. Also it is more common today or a married woman not to take herhusbands last name, but rather to continue to use her birth name in bothbusiness and social situations. In this case, Ms would be the preerred ormo address.

Remember that the most important thing is to be pleasant andcourteous.

Introducing Individuals to Groups An individual is always introduced to a group.

A gentleman always stands when being introduced andremains standing until the lady is seated or indicates the manshould be seated.

Other Practical Tips & Suggestions A lady who is being introduced to a group extends her hand

and greets each person. I the group is large, only those nearest thenewcomer should rise and say Hello.

When making introductions, the ollowing list o guidelinesgenerally applies in both military and civilian situations:

Whether you are a man or a woman, a rm handshake shouldaccompany a greeting. A man usually waits or a woman to oer herhand. When two women are introduced, the older woman shouldextend her hand rst.

A younger person is always introduced to an older person:Mrs. Older, may I present Mrs. Younger orMrs. Older, this is Mrs. Younger.

A gentleman is usually introduced to a lady.

I in doubt about the need to introduce someone you knowto someone standing near you, introduce them. I you are worriedabout who to introduce to whom, just use common sense.

It is always proper to include the rate or rank o a militaryperson whom you are presenting:

Mrs. Kelly, may I present Petty Ocer Jones orLieutenant Smith, may I present Mr. Brown.

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When greeting persons you have met in the past but whomyou do not see oten, reintroduce yoursel as you greet them. Thisputs people at ease in case they do not remember your name. Also, bystating your name, they will be cued to say their name, too, in case youhave orgotten as well.

As a nal suggestion, it is helpul i you include in your in-troduction a brie comment about the person you are introducing.It helps put people at ease and can help new people nd commonground.

Reference ChartsCharts or the Correct Forms o Address or United States

Military Personnel are located on pages 43-46. The charts will helpyou to fnd easily how to address and introduce ofcers and enlistedpersonnel in the Navy, Coast Guard, and Marine Corps.

correspondenceWhen writing letters, announcements, invitations, thank you

notes, etc., to military personnel, it is important to use the correctorm o address not only on the envelopes, but also in the note orinvitation.

Addressing Envelopes When corresponding with military personnel, an address

should include the rate/rank, name, corps (i applicable), and brancho service:

Lieutenant William Wilson, CHC, USN.I the woman is not the service member and uses her birth name,

then address correspondence to the couple as:Lieutenant Wilson and Ms. Jane Doe When addressing correspondence to a couple, only the rate/

rank is used:Lieutenant and Mrs. William Wilson. I both husband and wie are military personnel, letters ad-

dressed to both husband and wie should normally place the titleand name o the spouse who is being invited in his/her ocialcapacity rst. Where both are invited in their ocial capacity, thesenior spouse is listed rst.

Commander Mary Jones, SC, USNLieutenant Commander David Jones, CEC, USN

I the wie is a service member, she is listed rst and then herhusband beneath on military correspondence:

Commander Mary Johnson, MC, USNDr. David Johnson, M.D.

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In civilian correspondence, the civilian husband may be written frst,but the wie is still addressed by title on the line below:

Dr. David Johnson, M.D.Commander Mary Johnson, MC, USN

InvitationsThere are several ways to write invitations. For example, a

ormal invitation to a reception is written as ollows:Captain and Mrs. Thomas Wilson Phillips

request the pleasure o the company oCommander and Mrs. Smith

at a reception . . .etc.

Thank You NotesA thank you note is addressed to the hostess with the host

mentioned in the body o the letter.For example:

Dear Mary,Jim and I thank you and Tom (or Captain Phillips, i he is

senior to the service member) or inviting us to your home or din-ner...etc.

Address the envelope to Mrs. Thomas W. Phillips. I thespouse uses her birth name, then address the envelope using Ms. andher frst/last name.

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seaserviceetiQuette

shIpboard etIquetteNavy and Coast Guard amilies will have opportunities to go

aboard ships during their service members active duty lie. Always

remember that it is a privilege to be invited. Whether your oppor-tunities to visit the ship or unit are many or ew, we hope you enjoythem all, or they are a very special part o your military lie.

Going Aboard ShipWhen boarding a ship rom the pier, you will use a walkway

called a brow. Sometimes a ship is anchored oshore, in which caseyou will come aboard rom a small boat via an accommodationladder. For saety reasons, it is suggested that the spouse precede the

service member up and ollow him/her down. When you step aboardthe ship, you may ace the fag and pause, then quickly move asideso the next person may board.

When you accept an invitation to go aboard, be prompt andconsiderate o those or whom the ship is home.

One should never go aboard or any occasion without aninvitation. This is true even when the ship is returning rom a longcruise.

What to Wear Aboard ShipGive careul thought to dressing or an invitation to go on board.

You will be doing a lot o walking as you tour the ship and will begoing up and down ladders. Low-heeled shoes are recommended,even or changes o command and receptions. Rubber-soled shoeswould also be appropriate.

For an inormal visit or a cruise, a lady may wear slacks or nicewalking shorts. Short shorts, halter tops, and fip-fops are neverappropriate. There can be a wide variation in temperatures between

the decks and enclosed spaces, so take an extra sweater or jacket.Since it is helpul or hands to be as ree as possible or climbing upand down ladders, etc., it is wise or a emale guest to carry a pursewith a shoulder strap.

Visiting Your Spouse On Board ShipThe ship is not only the workplace o the whole crew, but it is

also the home o the single service members and married personnelwhose amilies are not in the area. On occasion, however, you may

be invited to visit the ship or dinner when your spouse has the duty.It is important to arrive on time. Ater dinner, there may be a movie to which you will be

invited. I the ship is moored oshore, you must not miss the last boat

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seaser

viceetiQuette

back to shore. You should not remain on board ater taps. Since the guest o one member is considered the guest o all,

exercise your visiting privileges seldom rather than oten. You willthen be warmly welcomed.

It is nice to remember that the crew members, who live onboard, might enjoy an occasional evening in your home.

Family Day CruisesSometimes ships schedule cruises or amily members called

Family Day cruises. They are usually scheduled prior to a deploy-ment, but can be held at any time.

Families o the crew, excluding children under eight, are invitedor a day o steaming o the coast. The ship may go through someo her operating procedures to give you an idea o what lie on boardis like. Families get to see where their spouse or parent works, eats,sleeps, and relaxes. Its all noisier, more crowded, and more impressivethan you could have imagined. For these reasons, and because its unand interesting, try to attend.

Sailors are good hosts and the cruise will be well organized. Youwill be inormed o what you can and cannot do and where you canand cannot go. Because o saety precautions, some areas may be olimits. You should always have a military escort when on board. Feelree to ask any questions you wish. The main purpose o the cruise isto learn about the ship and your spouses or parents lie on board.

Marine Corps EventsMarine Corps units oten have special days set aside or amilies.

On these occasions, a ull range o live and static demonstrations,tours, and entertainment are oered. In this way, amily membersdevelop an awareness o the commands unction and share in its lie.There is also an opportunity or reservists and their amilies to par-ticipate on Annual Family Day. The curriculum at The Basic Schoolincludes Jane Wayne Day, during which spouses can participate inreal training exercises.

Flag etIquetteDuring the ceremony o hoisting or lowering the fag or when

the fag is passing in a parade or in a review, all persons presentexcept those in uniorm should ace the fag and stand at attentionwith the right hand over the heart. Those present in uniorm should

render the military salute. When not in uniorm, men should removetheir hat with their right hand and hold it at the let shoulder, thehand being over the heart. Citizens o other countries should standat attention. The salute to the fag in a moving column should berendered at the moment the fag passes. During honor ceremonies,


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respect is shown to fags o other countries with a salute by those inuniorm. All others should stand at attention.

Colors & RetreatWhen driving a car on a military installation and Colors or

Retreat (when the national fag is hoisted at eight oclock in themorning or lowered at sunset, respectively) is sounded, stop the carand wait until the ceremony has been completed. I walking, stop,turn towards the fag and stand at attention with your right handover your heart.

natIonal anthem etIquetteWhen the fag is displayed during the playing o the national

anthem, all present except those in uniorm should stand at atten-

tion acing the fag with the right hand over the heart. Men not inuniorm should remove their hat with their right hand and hold itat the let shoulder, the right hand being over the heart. Persons inuniorm stand at attention and render the military salute at the rstnote o the anthem and hold their salute until the last note is played.

When the fag is not displayed, those present should ace the musicand act in the same manner they would i the fag were displayed. Thesame marks o respect prescribed during the playing o the NationalAnthem should be shown during the playing o a oreign National

Anthem.

For urther inormation regarding Flag, Pledge o Allegiance, andNational Anthem etiquette, please reer to the Flags, Pennants &Customs Chart on page 47.

servIce song etIquetteIt is customary or the service member to stand when his/her

service song is played. Family members may also rise.

In the Marine Corps, Marines stand at attention or the MarinesHymn and their amily members should also rise.On some occasions, all service members may stand during the

playing o all service songs. Take your cue rom those around you.The service songs are:

Navy Anchors AweighMarine Corps Marines HymnArmy The Army Goes Rolling AlongAir Force The U.S. Air Force

Coast Guard Semper Paratus

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changeoF commandA Change o Command ceremony is usually held when the lead-

ership o the command is passed rom one person to another. It is a

privilege to receive an invitation to these ceremonies, and you shouldaccept i possible.

NOTE: Members o the Chaplain Corps do not hold com-mand. For this reason, the assumption o a leadership position,particularly that o the Chie o Chaplains, is reerred to as a changeo oce.

b i. Plan to be seated 15 minutes prior to the scheduledstart o the ceremony. You will be given a program and shown to aseat. The service member conducting the ceremony will indicate

when to sit and stand. A reception oten ollows the ceremony.

What to Wear to a Change of CommandA tailored dress or suit or ladies or a coat and tie or gentlemen

is appropriate or the ceremony. Invited guests should dress or theweather i the ceremony is outside. In the summer, ladies will eelcomortable in hats and lightweight dresses; and in winter, warmouterwear will be needed. Regardless o the weather, men shouldalways wear a tie. I the event is outside, you may want sunglasses

and sunscreen.senIor enlIsted transItIon ceremonIes

It is a privilege to get an invitation to these special occasions andyou should accept, i possible. Type o attire and punctuality are thesame as or a Change o Command.Navy

The Change o Oce ceremony recognizes the unique leader-ship position held by the Command Master Chie in the Navy. Marine Corps

The ceremony Posting and Relie o the Sergeant Major isunique to the Marine Corps. Coast Guard

The Change o Watch is the ceremony in which the title andposition o Master Chie Petty Ocer o the Coast Guard is passedrom one person to another. Coast Guard Command EnlistedAdvisors may also have a Change o Watch.

Keel-layIngThis ceremony is conducted by shipyard ocials. The program

includes suitable remarks by shipyard ocials and invited dignitar-ies. Then the announcement is made: The keel has been truly andairly laid. A reception usually ollows.

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chrIstenIngor launchIngThis is the ceremony at which the ship is given her name and

committed to the sea. The program is conducted by the shipbuilder.A ship has a sponsor, always a emale; and it is she who breaks abottle o champagne, symbolic o the water rom the seven seas,

across the bow and says, I christen thee (name o ship!). At thatmoment, the dock hands knock away the last supports, and the shipglides down the ways to her true home, the sea. The designationo United States Ship (USS) is not used with the name at this pointbecause she has not yet been commissioned into naval service.

Society of SponsorsThe Society o Sponsors is made up o the women who have

been given the honor o christening a ship. There are approximately

500 active members o this distinguished organization that began in1907.

commIssIonIngOccurring ater her sea trials, commissioning is the most

important ceremony in the history o the ship. This is an occasionin which the very rst crew members become plankowners. Theprogram includes remarks by distinguished guests and the reading oorders placing the ship in commission in the U.S. Navy or U.S. Coast

Guard. Upon commissioning, the ship is called USS or USCG (shipname) and fies her commissioning pennant.

decommIssIonIngThis ceremony marks the end o active service o a ship.

Although it is generally a somber and less elaborate occasion, theillustrious history o the ship is highlighted to those invited guestspresent. Oten the previous Commanding Ocers o the ship are inattendance and may take part in the proceedings. The ship is retiredwhen her commissioning pennant is hauled down and her crew

departs or the last time.

retIrementA retirement ceremony is a special occasion marking the end

o a service members 20 years or more o active military duty andservice to the United States. The program oten includes remarks bydistinguished guests, honors and gits to the retiring service member,and the reading o retirement orders. A reception oten ollows theceremony.

etIquette tIpPlease turn cell phones off or to vibrate mode when attending amilitary social function or ceremony so as to not create an unwanteddistraction.

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soCial funCTionsandTradiTions

receptIons

A reception is a large party given in honor o a special guest(s)or occasion. Generally, a reception lasts one to two hours.

The Receiving LineMany receptions begin with a receiving line. It will consist o the

guest(s) o honor, the host and hostess, and an aide. The order o thepersons in the receiving line may vary with the type o occasion anddesires o the hosting ocial, but traditionally a woman is never thelast person in the line.

When you arrive, tell the aide, who is rst in line, your name. Itis not necessary to shake hands with the aide. The service memberusually proceeds through the line ollowed by his/her spouse.

As you go through the line, i no one is behind you, a moment oconversation is permissible. I it is necessary to keep moving, a shortcomment such as Im happy to meet you, or Its nice to see youagain, will be sucient. You are then ree to join the other guests.I there are many people waiting to go through the line, you may getsome rereshments and wait until the line shortens.

Remember, dispose o any ood, drink, or tobacco productsbeore getting in line.

What to Wear to a ReceptionThe attire or a reception should be specied on the invitation.

Attire can range rom inormal to ormal depending upon the time oday and geographic location. I in doubt, call the oce responsibleor the reception.

When the Reception is OverWhen the reception is over, nd your host and hostess andconvey your thanks. I there are many people surrounding them andyou must leave, it is acceptable to orego this.

Even though it is generally not necessary to write a thank-younote or large ocial unctions such as a reception, it is always athoughtul and appreciated gesture.

haIlsand FarewellsIn service lie, someone is always arriving or departing.

Arrivals and departures are oten acknowledged by social eventsknown as Hails and Farewells. Hail and Farewell parties are anopportunity both to say good-bye to riends and shipmates and toprovide a generous welcome to those arriving.

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There may be an event or the departing spouse, a separate eventor the departing service member, and/or a party or both. Try toattend these social events. They are an important and meaning-ul tradition where we have an opportunity to welcome (hail) newpeople and bid arewell to those departing.

wettIng-down partIesThis is a party an individual gives when he/she receives a

promotion or advancement.

The Origin of the Wetting-Down PartyThe custom was to pour a drink over the new stripe, thus

wetting it down and making it blend with the older, and presumablymore tarnished, stripes. Since it was a celebration, he would also

oer his shipmates a drink. Traditionally, the celebration was heldon the rst payday ater the promotion or advancement or at the rstliberty port. The invited guests consisted solely o ones shipmates.

Todays CustomTarnished braid was once considered the salty hallmark o a

seagoing man. Today, the newly promoted or advanced individualalmost always orders a completely new set o stripes or his/heruniorm. Also, the celebration may be held at a later time, although

timeliness is considered important. The guest list requently includesspouses, dates, co-workers and other riends. The celebration canbe held in someones home, the club, or anywhere the individual(s)wishes to hold it. Oten, several people celebrating new promotionsor advancements join together as hosts.

dInIng-Ins/dInIng-outs/mess nIghts Dining-Ins

Periodically, Navy and Coast Guard ocers and chie pettyocers o a unit, command, or several commands may conduct aDining-In. This is a ormal military dinner. The attendees weartheir dress uniorms and observe a great deal o protocol. A ritualtoasting and speeches are the main eature o the dinner which con-sists o elegant oods and wines. For all its ormality, Dining-Ins areusually estive aairs which everyone enjoys. Only military person-nel attend a Dining-In. In the Coast Guard, only ocers are present.

Dining-OutsDining-Outs are a similar type o aair with ormal attirerequired. However, at a Dining-Out, spouses and dates are included.


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Marine Corps Mess Nights & Dining-InsFor the Marine Corps, only ocers are invited to Mess Night. At

a Marine Corps Dining-In, spouses and dates are included.

Coast Guard Chiefs Mess Night In/OutIn the Coast Guard at the Chies Mess Night In, the guests are

Chie Petty Ocers, but they may also include ocers and militarydignitaries.

At a Chie s Mess Night Out, spouses, dates, and other invitedguests are usually included.

all hands partIesOnce or twice a year, a social event may be planned called an

All Hands Party. The event might be as casual as a picnic or cookout

or as ormal as a dinner with dancing. All Hands Parties includeeveryone in the unit or command and their guests. It is an oppor-tune time to meet the spouses o the active duty members o the unitor command.

When attending a party, make every eort to introduce yourselto everyone. Junior people should seek out senior ones and intro-duce themselves. This may seem awkward at rst, but the gesturewill be greatly appreciated.

chIeF petty oFFIcer transItIonThe promotion rom First Class (E6) to Chie Petty Ocer (E7)

marks a signicant change in a Sailors or Coast Guard membersproessional lie. This promotion brings more than just an increasein pay and a change in uniorms; it also includes substantial increas-es in responsibility, authority, and prestige which is unique in theNavy and the Coast Guard. A ceremony appropriate to the occasionis held, with attendance by invitation only. This is a meaningul and

memorable part o a service members career. Please see FamilyLinesGuidelines or Spouses o Chie Petty Ofcers or more inormation.

ldo commIssIonIngSome ocers who advance through the enlisted ranks are des-

ignated as Limited Duty Ocers (LDO) or Commissioned WarrantOcers (CWO). This is a unique achievement, and the transition tothe ocer ranks is recognized in a special promotion ceremony.

calls The Custom of Calls Made and Returned

Some years ago, ocers were expected to call on theirCommanding Ocer at home, and could expect to receive a return

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functions&tr

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call in their homes. With the passing o the widespread practice oreceiving callers at home at a specic time each week, this customvanished. The calls made and returned invitation is a charmingreminder o this practice rom another time.

The Current CustomIt is the current custom or the senior ocer in a command

to entertain the ocers in the activity and their spouses at a partyor reception, and to indicate on the invitation or accompanyinginstructions that the unction will cover calls made and returned.I you should receive such an invitation, by all means try to attend.Oten this will provide an opportunity to greet not only newcomersto the command, but also to renew old acquaintances.

The reception may be held at the home o the commander or inanother acility. The beginning and ending times o the receptionwill be indicated. The reception will last one to two hours. Do notremain beyond the ending time o the reception unless specicallyasked to do so. When the party is over, thank your hosts or theirhospitality.

Your spouse will be advised o the appropriate dress or theoccasion either on the invitation or by the commanders sta. Youcan take your cue rom his/her dress; or i in doubt, check with an-other spouse. I the reception is held in the commanders home andthere is a tray or cards near the entrance, you and your spouse mayleave your calling cards.

callIng cardsCalling cards, while no longer essential, are a sophisticated

addition to your social stationary. Cards may, o course, be usedwhen making calls; but they are equally useul as git enclosures andas an elegant means to convey short messages. Cards can be orderedwith matching envelopes.

Calling cards should be printed on a good grade o white or

ivory stock (paper) in a clear and graceul style. The ollowing arerecommendations or the size o various (personal) cards:

Male ocers or civilians: 3-1/8"L x 1-5/8"W. Female ocers: 2-7/8"L x 2"W. Married emale civilians: 3-1/8"L x 2-1/4"W.

Married emale civilians should have only their married nameprinted on their cards:

Mrs. John Evans Smith

All others should consult a good etiquette book or specicinstructions about printing.


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When Leaving Calling CardsTraditionally, the ocer leaves one card or the service member

and one or the spouse, as well as one or each lady in the houseover age eighteen. The civilian male ollows these same guidelines.The civilian woman leaves one card or each lady in the house overage eighteen. She does not leave a card or a man not even thePresident. Not more than three cards are let by any one person.

navy bIrthday ballThe traditional Navy Birthday Ball is usually a ormal dinner

dance held in October to commemorate the original birthday othe U.S. Navy, October 13, 1775. Traditionally, the oldest and theyoungest service members in attendance are announced and askedto cut the birthday cake.

Many o the Navy corps communities hold their own birthdayballs as well, such as the Seabee Ball, the Oaklea Ball and the SupplyCorps Birthday Ball.

the marIne corps bIrthday ballThe Marine Corps had its beginning at Tun Tavern in Philadel-

phia on November 10, 1775. Every year, Marines throughout theworld commemorate that day with unit cake cutting ceremonies

and/or traditional birthday balls. A birthday message rom theCommandant is read at every celebration. There is also a avoritecustom o serving the rst piece o birthday cake to the guest ohonor, the second piece to the oldest Marine present, and the thirdpiece to the youngest Marine in attendance.

coast guard all hands pIcnIcThe Coast Guard celebrates its birthday every year with an All

Hands Picnic. This annual celebration is held in August to bringCoast Guard amilies together in honor o the ounding o the CoastGuard on August 4, 1790.

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general guIdelInesEntertaining in the Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard is the

same as in civilian lie. You are ree to do as you choose. Your desire

to entertain should be purely social and or the pleasure o makingriends and enjoying their company.

Entertaining can be inormal and simple, such as potlucks andcasserole dinners, or ormal and elaborate, such as cocktail partiesand several course dinners. The important thing is to get togetherand to make people eel welcome in your home. By entertaining, youwill nd that you grow and become as close to your service riendsas you are to your own amily.

Tips for Entertaining I the entertaining is too complicated, then its no un or you

and no one eels comortable. Organization is a key to success -- using detailed lists helps a

lot. The library is a wonderul resource with hosts o books on the

subject. Limit your entertaining to what you can aord. This includes

time and energy as well as money.

Use the things that appeal to you and your lie-style. Whetheryou use china, pottery, or paper products is not important.

The more entertaining you do, the easier it becomes. A greatway to try something new is to experiment with riends and amily.

Entertaining Senior PersonnelCouples oten wonder i they should entertain senior personnel

and their spouses. The answer is yes; however, they certainly neitherneed nor want to be lavishly entertained. They enjoy the company

o younger people and will appreciate your having been thoughtulenough to include them.

InvItatIonsWhen you receive an invitation, it is important to respond

quickly. Although it is impolite to wait until the last minute torespond, ailure to respond at all is unacceptable behavior! I youcannot talk to the hostess directly, you may leave a message on the

answering machine. I you are uncomortable with telephoningyour response, it is appropriate to answer with a simply writtennote. Also, be sure that you understand the complete details o theinvitation. I you have any questions, eel ree to ask them whenyou respond.

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R.S.V.P.An invitation will include date, time, and place o the event. It

may also include appropriate dress and a request or a response. I aninvitation reads R.S.V.P. (Respondez sil vous plait) or PLEASERESPOND, it is very important that you answer as soon as possible.I you are unsure i you will be able to attend, it is best to call thehost or hostess and explain that you have extenuating circumstancesthat preclude you being able to make a rm decision (Your spouseis on travel, and you cannot veriy his schedule; or you have not yetbeen able to locate a babysitter.). This allows your hostess to con-tinue the plans or the unction without wondering why she has notreceived your reply to her invitation. It is the option o the hostessto extend you extra time i she can, but it should not be expected onthe part o the guest.

Regrets OnlyOccasionally, you may receive an invitation that reads

REGRETS ONLY. Respond immediately i you are unableto attend. The hostess will expect everyone who has not respondedto attend and will plan accordingly.

To RemindBecause people have busy schedules, it is oten important to

get the date and time o a unction conrmed so that the hosts canormalize the guest list. Telephone invitations ollowed by a TOREMIND card are used or this purpose.

Club/Restaurant Social Affairs

Some social aairs involve such large numbers o people thatthey must be held at a club or restaurant. Each guest is asked toindicate acceptance and to pay his/her own way. It is necessary thatyou nancially honor your reservation. Those in charge o makingthe arrangements with the club or restaurant will have obligatedthemselves to the management or a certain number o people andwill have to pay or the NO SHOWS. I something happens at thelast minute to prevent you rom attending an aair or which youmade a reservation, contact the person in charge. Explain that youwill not be able to attend and, i you have not already paid, indicatethat you will settle the money situation as soon as possible.

Hostess/Host GiftsWhen a dinner invitation is oered, a small git is usually

presented to the hostess/host. Examples o appropriate gits include:fowers, candy, a bottle o wine, or some homemade baked goods(cookies, muns, etc.) or the hosts to enjoy the next day.

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Thank You NotesAter being someones guest, a thank you note should be sent

immediately. The host/hostess will eel his/her eorts were reallyappreciated by your prompt response.


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Frequently, you will receive invitations to various social events,military and civilian. Accept, i at all possible, as this will give youan opportunity to meet new and interesting people. The attire or

these invitations is usually specied and can range rom inormal toormal depending upon the time o day and geographic location.

Very Formal OccasionsOccasionally, a very ormal evening event, ater 6:00 p.m., will

require ull dress evening wear specied as White Tie. This is veryseldom worn except by fag ocers or those in the diplomatic corps.

When required, white tie is worn to evening dances, weddings,dinners, receptions, and on state occasions.

Military: Formal dress uniorm.Civilian: Gentlemen wear a tail coat with matching trousers, awhite waistcoat, wing collared shirt and white bow tie. Ladies wearvery ormal evening gowns.

Daytime Formal OccasionsFor a ormal daytime unction such as a wedding, the ollowing

applies:Military: Seasonally appropriate Service Dress Uniorm.

Civilian: Gentlemen wear cutaways. Ladies wear dresses or suitsappropriate to the occasion as styles dictate.

Evening Formal OccasionsThe attire specied or a ormal evening unction is Black Tie.

This may be worn to ormal events ater 6:00 p.m. such as dinners,receptions, dances, or weddings.

Military: Seasonally appropriate Dinner Dress Jacket Uniorm.Civilian: Gentlemen wear dinner jackets or tuxedos. Ladies wear

ormal evening gowns.

Ceremonial OccasionsFor occasions o state, ceremonies, and solemnities, parades and

reviews, military personnel participating wear the seasonally appro-priate ceremonial uniorm.

Military: Seasonally appropriate Service Uniorm.Civilian: Gentlemen generally wear dark business suits. Ladies

wear dresses or business suits appropriate to the occasion, as styles

dictate.

Informal OccasionsBusiness and inormal occasions in the aternoon such as

luncheons, receptions, or dinners will call or Inormal Attire or

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attireguide

lines

Civilian Inormal.Military: Seasonally appropriate Service Dress Uniorm.Civilian: Gentlemen wear dark business suits. Ladies wear ater-

noon dresses or business suits; or or evening events, dressy dresses,business suits, or long skirts appropriate to the occasion, as currentstyles dictate.

Casual OccasionsNowadays, casual unctions may include dinner parties, picnics,

barbecues, sporting events, etc.For gentlemen, casual attire may range rom an open collar

shirt or sweater to a sports coat. For ladies, attire may range romslacks or dressy walking shorts to casual skirts. (Shorts and jeansare inappropriate unless specically indicated by the host/hostess.)

Note: In many areas o the country, dress requirements can varyor the casual social occasions. For example, in one part o thecountry, casual may mean shorts and sandals, and in another areait may mean dressy slacks or skirts. When in doubt, inquire as to thelocal custom or ask your host/hostess.

Retired Military PersonnelRetired military personnel, not on active duty, may wear the

prescribed military uniorm to military unctions as consideredappropriate. Such occasions may include commissioning ceremo-nies, military weddings, or receptions in which military guests areexpected to be in uniorm.


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clubs & command FamIly

assocIatIon groupsMost sea service spouses will tell you that associations with

command sponsored groups are among the most valuable andcherished experiences o their lives. From these groups come a lot othe warmth, un and riendship we all need. In a very real sense, thisis our extended amily.

Organized Spouse Clubs

At almost every duty station, youll nd spouses organized intoan OWC (Ocers Wives Club), EWC (Enlisted Wives Club) orNWCA (Navy Wives Club o America). (Note: The term wivesis now spouse in many clubs.) The size, degree o organization,activities and scope o each club will depend on several actors:number o members, nature o the mission o the duty station, itslocation and the particular preerences o its members. Regardless otheir dierences, most clubs have the same goals. Their purpose isun and ellowship and to provide spouses with ways to meet eachother. Also, these various organizations may promote service andcharitable projects directed toward military and local civiliancommunities.

Membership is completely voluntary. The membership roster,newsletter with up-to-date inormation and schedule o events, andphone tree calls are well worth the price o membership, even i youare not able to attend most o the meetings and social unctions.

Even though you might be employed, the command amily isimportant and should not be let o your list o priorities. Clubsoer you a great opportunity to meet other spouses. You may not beable to participate in the daytime, but most clubs have nighttime andweekend activities as well.

As long as your spouse is in the military and you are movingrequently, it is helpul to keep in touch with other spouses who canbridge the gap let by pulling up roots.

Family Association GroupsMany commands sponsor Family Association Groups which may

include the spouses, children, and parents o each service membero the same command. The day your spouse reports to his/her newcommand you are automatically a part o that group until yourspouse is detached. The degree to which you become involved andparticipate, however, is

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activities/organizations

completely voluntary.Family Association Groups usually meet on a airly regular basis

just to get to know each other, to have un, and to help support eachother in dicult times. A valuable role is played by these groups inhelping their members prepare or a deployment and the homecom-ing. Depending on the size o the membership, the meetings may beheld in someones home or in a large meeting area on the base.

If Your Command Does Not Have a Spouse ClubI your command does not have a club and interest is shown in

orming one, you should talk to the spouses o the CommandingOfcer and the senior enlisted leaders frst. Get their views and sup-port and let them act on a suggestion to orm a group. CommandingOfcers know rom experience that thriving clubs are an importantelement or morale.

For more inormation about Clubs and Family Associations, pleasereer to the Naval Services FamilyLines guide, Guidelines for LaunchingClubs & Command Family Associations. All FamilyLine publications areavailable ree o charge. To order publications, please call or write us atthe address on page 34.

Coast Guard ClubsMost Coast Guard commands have a Coast Guard Spouse Club

available. Increasingly, this community is witnessing the ormation

o combined groups o ocer and enlisted spouses. This is espe-cially true o the smaller units, as well as those in isolated areas.Male spouses o emale service personnel may be members o spousegroups

All ormalized clubs, whether ocer, enlisted or combined,come under the National Council o Coast Guard Spouse Clubs,headquartered in Washington, D.C.

A Coast Guard Spouse website at www.cgspouses.net has ane-mail component, inormation about specic duty stations, a

real-time chat room and current inormation o use to Coast Guardspouses and amilies.

volunteerIngVolunteering in various organizations, charities, and service-ori-

ented groups is completely voluntary. However, dont be araid to volun-teer your special talents can be invaluable to many organizations.

Volunteer workers are always needed at thrit shops, the Navy-Marine Corps Relie Society, the American Red Cross and many other

organizations. When giving time to these groups, baby-sitting is usuallyreimbursed. Many agencies also oer work that you can do at home.I you are stationed in the Washington, D.C. area, you will have theunique opportunity o being able to volunteer or Naval ServicesFamilyLine.


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Should you decide to fnd a paying job in the uture, you will fndthat the skills you developed while volunteering can later be included ina job resume. Most employers are delighted to have dedicated, experi-enced volunteers become part o their paid sta.

spousesoF senIor oFFIcersand senIor en-lIsted personnel

In general, social relationships among sea service spouses areinormal and easygoing. However, you will nd in many social situ-ations that a certain respect is accorded spouses o the more seniorservice members which include the spouses o the Commanding O-cer (CO), Executive Ocer (XO), Command Master Chie (CMC),Chie o the Boat (COB), Command Enlisted Advisor (CEA), Ser-

geant Major in the Marine Corps, and high-ranking ocers. Thesespouses should be introduced at all command-sponsored activities.

There is little doubt that the spouses o those in positions oleadership have increased responsibilities. The spouse o a seniorservice member in a command can be a key individual.

These spouses usually have had more experience than spouses othe more junior ocers and petty ocers. What these more experi-enced spouses have to oer in the way o suggestions or ideas abouthow situations might best be handled is well worth noting. Also,senior spouses appreciate the resh viewpoints o younger spouses,especially newcomers to the military way o lie.

Someday, your spouse may be in a senior leadership position. Itis a time to look orward to in a sea service career. In such a leader-ship position, one gains sel-condence, sel-discipline, and in-creased communication and social skills.

For more inormation and guidelines about the roles o spouseso Commanding Ocers, Executive Ocers, and Command SeniorEnlisted Leaders, please reer to the Naval Services FamilyLines out-standing booklets, Guidelines or the Spouses o Commanding Ofcersand Executive Ofcers and Guidelines or the Spouses o Command Se-nior Enlisted Leaders. All FamilyLine publications are available uponrequest to the address on page 34 o this booklet.

the navy FamIly ombudsman The History of the Ombudsman

The concept o the ombudsman dates back 175 years when thepeople o Sweden demanded that a position be created or a newkind o public ocial. This ombudsman was able to help thepeople cut through bureaucratic red tape in order to get things done.

The Navy Ombudsman Program was established in 1970, in

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response to, and recognition o, the needs o Navy amilies. Preparedby extensive standardized training programs, todays Navy FamilyOmbudsman is able to oer guidance to amilies within the com-mand and to act as an ocial liaison between the command and itsamilies.The fexibility to evolve with the Navy and to adapt to theuniqueness o each command is the source o strength which allowsthe Ombudsman Program to ulll its mission o assisting thecommand by serving the needs o its amilies.

In 1993, the Naval Reserve Family Ombudsman Program wasestablished to serve Naval Reservists amilies in their unique situ-ation. It is based on, and certied by BUPERS, with all training oNaval Reserve Ombudsmen being done through Commander NavalReserve Forces in New Orleans.

The Role of the OmbudsmanThe Navy Family Ombudsman is a volunteer appointed by the

Commanding Ocer and the Ombudsman Program refects whatthe CO believes to be the needs o the command. It is the CO whodetermines the priorities o the program, the roles and relationshipso those involved in it, and the type and level o support it willreceive. It is helpul i these roles and relationships are made clearand are understood by all members o the Command Support Team.

The Ombudsman position covers a variety o duties that include: Relating to amily members the commands policies and wishes Keeping the command inormed about the amilies needs and

concerns Serving as a source o inormation and reerral Being available and ready to help in case o emergencies

Some important things to remember about the position o theOmbudsman and the work he/she does:

Remember, he/she is a volunteer who has chosen to give ohis/her time to the command and its amilies.

Condentiality restrictions prevent the Ombudsman rom dis-closing the identity o any cases unless specically instructed by theCommanding Ocer.

compassCOMPASS is a 12-hour, spouse-to-spouse mentoring program

or all Navy spouses. COMPASS improves quality o lie by educating

Navy spouses. This education enables them to ully understand,experience, and successully meet the challenges o the Navyliestyle.


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Participants will be introduced to all aspects o the Navy lie-style. The standardized curriculum includes need-to-know topicssuch as Navy history, customs and traditions, benets, deployment,pay, moving and interpersonal communication. An important ben-et o COMPASS is the opportunity or spouses to establish a peernetwork. The COMPASS course is oered at no cost and providesree childcare. For more inormation go to www.lielines.navy.mil/FamilyLine/compass.

the marIne corps Key volunteernetworK

The Key Volunteer Network is an integral part o the Command-ers ocial amily readiness program, and is the primary communi-cation link between the commanding ocer and unit amilies or theenhancement o mission readiness.

The Key Volunteer Network (KVN) is an ocial Marine Corpsprogram and a major component o Marine Corps Family Team Build-ing. The KVN is comprised o spouses o Marines within a unit whovolunteer to assist the command in its amily readiness program.The Key Volunteers and Key Volunteer Coordinator are appointedby the Commanding Ocer and receive training in communication,inormation and reerral, and other topics. Refecting the COs guid-ance and policies, the Key Volunteer Network is a communicationnetwork ormed within a unit to keep amilies better inormed aboutthe mission and tasks o that unit and to assist in establishing asense o community among the amilies. It is also a support network,providing inormation to acilitiate problem-solving by the individu-al Marine Corps amily and reerral to other resources i needed.

l.I.n.K.s. (lIFestyle, InsIghts,networKIng, Knowledgeand sKIlls)L.I.N.K.S. is an element o Marine Corps Family Team Building.

It was developed by spouses or spouses in 1995. The purpose wasto create a tool to enhance amily readiness within the Marine Corpsby providing spouses, particularly those newly married to a Marine,with an orientation to the global Marine Corps.

L.I.N.K.S. is designed to be run and managed by Marine Corpsvolunteers, supported through Marines Corps Community Servicesat each Marine Corps installation and partnered with chaplains inthe delivery o sessions. L.I.N.K.S. provides participants with anunderstanding o Marine Corps culture, as well as the skills and re-sources they need to become sel-reliant and resilient members o the

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community. Family preparedness is important to readiness because itprovides peace o mind to Marines by building condence that theiramilies can manage successully in their absence, enabling them toocus on their mission.

L.I.N.K.S. can support retention as amilies learn what benetsand resources the Marine Corps oers, and what to expect rom theMarine Corps culture. It also teaches how to network so they developa sense o belonging to the largerMarine Corps Family.

the coast guard ombudsmanThe Coast Guard is concerned that its members and their amilies

are provided with inormation and assistance to minimize the disrup-

tions o moving and deployment and to access necessary resources.In June 1986, the Coast Guard instituted an Ombudsman Program(Commandant Instruction 1750.4). The Ombudsman, known ormallyas the Command Family Representative, is a Coast Guard spouse whoserves as a liaison between the unit Commanding Ocer and the ami-lies.

The Ombudsman is a spouse who is designated by and responsibleto the Commanding Ocer, serving as a link between the command andamilies. The Ombudsman assists the command by providing inormation

to amilies regarding sources o assistance available to them, inormingamilies about Coast Guard and command policies, and providing inor-mation about activities o interest to amily members. The OmbudsmanProgram oers several advantages to the unit, its personnel, and the CoastGuard in general.

First, it provides the unit CO with a valuable advisor, someone whokeeps the pulse o the members amilies. For the Commanding Ocer oa deploying command, it can be especially useul to know the concerns o

command amilies and to be able to deal with these concerns beore deploy-ment rather than when the vessel is underway.

Secondly, the program provides a channel between amilies andthe command. The Ombudsmans role is one o liaison, not that ocounselor. The Ombudsman should not substitute or the normal chaino command and must not impede routine unit working relationships.An Ombudsman is a means o two-way communication. This avenuecan bring amily concerns to the Commanding Ocers attention while

allowing him/her an additional means o providing inormation andreassurance to these amilies. As a source o morale, its benets can bevery important.

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to serve their unit in a meaningul position. Although this is clearly avolunteer post, it is one which is honored. At its best, this role can acilitateharmony and understanding within the unit and can be a source o consid-erable individual satisaction. The Ombudsman Program provides a way oserving alongside the service member spouse.

The Ombudsman Program belongs to the individual commandand may vary according to the Commanding Ocers unit prioritiesand needs.

supporT & resourCeserviCes

naval servIces FamIlylIneNaval Services FamilyLine is a volunteer, nonprot, tax-exempt

organization dedicated to improving the quality o lie or every seaservice amily. Established in 1965 as the Navy Wieline Association,FamilyLine has now expanded to include single and married servicemembers and their amilies in the Navy, Marine Corps, and CoastGuard, both active and reserve.

Naval Services FamilyLine volunteers provide assistance, inor-mation, and/or reerral in all matters pertaining to the military orits lie-style. FamilyLine developed the Ombudsman Journal and theOmbudsman Network Advisory Committee (ONAC). Its Chairmanserves as one o two o the Chie o Naval Operations Navy-wideFamily Ombudsmen-at-Large. Volunteers research, compile, write,and edit publications, coordinate educational seminars, and sta theoce located in Washington, D.C. FamilyLine has Field Representa-tives at bases around the world who serve as local points o contact.

The policies and programs o Naval Services FamilyLine areguided by a Board o Advisors which includes spouses o both seniorocers and enlisted personnel, active duty personnel and represen-tatives o other service-oriented organizations. Every Navy, MarineCorps, and Coast Guard spouse, family member, or active duty/reserve service member is automatically a member of Naval ServicesFamilyLine with no membership fee or registration requirement.

Naval Services FamilyLine is nanced solely by contributions.FamilyLine writes, publishes, and provides a variety o inor-

mational literature on many topics. For a complete listing o all oFamilyLines publications, please reer to our list o Publications &Reerences in this book on page 41.

To request our FREE PRINTED MATERIALS, or or more inor-mation, please call or write us at the address on the ollowing page:


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Naval Services FamilyLine1043 Harwood Street, SE, Suite 100

Washington Navy Yard, D.C. 20374-5067Phone: (202) 433-2333/Fax: (202) 433-4622Toll ree: 1-877-673-7773DSN: 288-2333Email: [email protected]/FamilyLine

Oce Hours: Monday-Friday, 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. EST/EDT(Please leave a message i calling ater hours. A volunteer will returnyour call.)

Fleetand FamIly support centersThe Navy Fleet and Family Support Centers (FFSC) are de-

signed to oer a variety o personal support services to single andmarried service members and amilies to:

1. Enhance skills or sel-suciency.2. Improve personal and amily readiness, thereby increasing

Navy and Marine Corps readiness.3. Assist with adaptation to military lie.FFSC sta members and volunteers, both military and civilian,

work to coordinate people-oriented training, support, and assistanceprograms in every area o Navy amily lie. Included in its wide range

o services are: Information and Referral Answers to questions about the Navy,

how to access military benets, etc. and when necessary, reerral toservices available in the community outside o the FFSC.

Personal, Family, and Marriage Counseling - Provided bylicensed, credentialed proessionals.

Deployment Support - Predeployment briengs, amily, andmember support during deployment and return and reunion at theend o the deployment.

Personal Financial Management - FFSCs support NavyCommands nancial specialists in training and counseling and oerbasic training in nancial skills, as well as providing liaison withNavy-Marine Corps Relie Society, Red Cross, and other resourceswithin the community.

Crisis Response - The FFSC oten becomes the coordina-tion point or management o community-wide, command-wide, orpersonal crises. Support can include counseling o those aected,transportation support or incoming amilies, coordination o volun-

teer eorts, and more. Relocation Assistance Program - Military liestyle includes

requent moves and FFSCs provide support in nding housing,spouse employment, settling in, child care, and, where appropriate,cultural and language orientation.

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Transition Assistance Management Program (TAMP) - Mili-tary members and their amilies have access to resources at FFSCsand TAMP centers that can make the move into civilian lie go moresmoothly. Inormation about employment trends in specifc careerfelds, cost o living in specifc areas, and general inormation abouthow to succeed as a civilian proessional is available.

Spouse Employment Assistance Program (SEAP) - FFSCs oerresources to help military amily members write eective resumes andinterview successully, as well as inormation about local employmentopportunities and trends.

Volunteer Program - FFSCs coordinate volunteers within thecommand and the community or service members and their amilieswho wish to get involved. Volunteer program managers work closelywith Spouse Employment managers as well, to help spouses learnmore about their community and acilitate networking.

Life Skills Education and Support - Oers training and supportin parenting, amily dynamics, anger management, stress managementand resources that can help with other issues in the amily experience.

Exceptional Family Member Program - Navy and Marine Corpsamilies are required to register or this program i they have an excep-tional amily member. FFSCs can answer questions about the programand who qualifes, and acilitate the registration process.

Outreach and Command Representative Program - Navy FFSCsliaison with the Commands they serve in many ways. The CommandRepresentative Program provides a direct link and personal amiliaritybetween commands and FFSCpersonnel.

Family AdvocacyProgram - The Family Advocacy Programis designed to address the prevention, identication, reporting,intervention, treatment, victim services, and ollow-up o child andspouse mistreatment.

New Parent Support- This program is an early interventionprogram designed to promote healthy amily unctioning, childdevelopment, and positive parent-child interactions; and providesadvocacy and reerral to other services. (Currently not available at allFFSCs).

Ombudsman and Key Volunteer Training and Consultation- FFSCs assist in the training and provide ongoing consultation tocommand Ombudsman (USN) and Key Volunteers (USMC).

Sexual Assault Intervention Services (SAVI) - FFSCs assistcommands in recruiting, training, and supporting volunteers whoprovide prevention education and victim services or victims o rapeand sexual assault.

More inormation about Navy Fleet and Family Support Centerscan be ound at www.persnet.navy.mil/pers66. To locate the FFSCnearest you, click on FFSC Map. Choose CONUS (Continental United

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States) or OCONUS (Outside Continental United States) to fnd FFSClocations.

marIne corps communIty servIcesTo enhance the delivery o QOL programs in the Marine Corps,Marine Corps Community Services (MCCS) was developed. MCCS

includes Marine Corps Family Team Building,Personal Services, Semper Fit, Business Operations and General

Support. Personal Services includes programs, services, and activi-ties that support command readiness and individual well-being suchas Personal Financial Management, Inormation and Reerral, LieSkills Management Programs, New Parent Support, Retired Activitiesand Suicide Prevention. Additionally included are:

Counseling Services: The Marine Corps Couseling Servicesinclude individual, marriage and amily counseling, clinical counsel-ing, amily advocacy and support services, victim advocacy, rape andsexual assault response services and related education, substanceabuse assessment, intervention and rehabilitation.

Mobility Support: This program includes services that assist ourmobile military liestyle by providing help during relocation, transi-tion to civilian lie, career decision making, job seeking, and adjust-ments o service members and their amilies to lie in the military.

Lifelong Learning: These programs provide or the personal andproessional development o Marines and Marine communities. Children and Youth: Child Development Centers are located

on every Marine Corps installation, providing excellent ull, part-day and drop-in child care and reerral services. The Marine CorpsYouth Program serves youths between the ages o 6 and 18, oeringprograms which develop physical, social, emotional and cognitiveskills, as well as opportunities to experience achievement and developleadership potential.

The Exceptional Family Member Program: This is a manda-tory program or Marines who have an exceptional amily memberto assist them in providing or the special needs o their dependentbeore, during, and ater relocation required by a change o dutyassignment. An exceptional amily member is dened as an autho-rized amily member (spouse, child, stepchild, adopted or osterchild, or dependent parent) residing with the sponsor who pos-sesses a physical, intellectual, or emotional handicap and requiresspecial medical or educational services.

For the MCCS nearest you, call 1-800-336-4663 i living east othe Mississippi (within Virginia 703-784-2659), or1-800-253-1624 or west o the Mississippi and Wisconsin (withinCaliornia 619-725-5361).

Additional inormation may be obtained at the MCCS web site

supportser

vices


35/52

(www.usmc-mcs.org).

worK-lIFeThe Coast Guard created Work-Lie to provide a network o

individuals and organizations to support Coast Guard members andtheir amilies. Recognizing that Work-Lie issues are critical to thesuccess o the individual service member, the amily and the CoastGuard, the Work-Lie network supports and enhances the overallCoast Guard mission. Work-Lie combines the ormal structure otwenty-one service-wide Work-Lie stas with an entire networko providers including volunteers, service members with collateralduties, specialized billets and contracted services. The BenefciaryGuide introduces the program and its benets.

Work-Lie oers resources to commands, members, and amilymembers. The Work-Lie stas include these providers: Family Programs Administrator: Proessional trained to deal

with amily violence, crisis intervention, and arrangements or vic-tims, abuser, and other amily members.

Career Information Specialist: Provides inormation concern-ing a members career. It is a method to give the inormation neededto make an accurate and well-inormed decision on what to do withthe members Coast Guard career.

Family Resource Coordinator: Responsible or the accessingand marketing o resources or the Special Needs, Child Care, Adop-tion Reimbursement, Elder Care, and Scholarship programs.

Relocation Assistance Manager: Assists active duty,recalled reserve, recently separated and retired personnel, civilian

members, and their amilies during the relocation cycle. Employee Assistance Coordinator: Assists in resolving situ-

ations in an eective manner. The EAC will assist individuals withpersonal nancial management and civilian career counseling.

Health Education Specialist: Provides inormationconcerning health care issues and education. Wellness Coordinator: Available to assist individuals and com-

mands in providing inormation, lectures, andtraining in the area o health and tness.

You may contact the Coast Guard Work-Lie at the district orunit headquarters or dial 1-800-USCG-WLS (872-4957).

navy-marIne corps relIeF socIetyThe vagaries o the naval service oten nd sailors, Marines, andtheir amilies without the nancial resources to handle lies emer-gencies. The Navy-Marine Corps Relie Society is the naval servicesown private, nonprot, charitable, support organization, established

supp

ortservices


36/52

in 1904 to provide emergency nancial assistance and counselingservice in times o temporary need to active duty and retired Navyand Marine Corps service members, their amily members, andsurvivors. An annual und drive conducted by the active duty orcestructure generates revenue to nance the Societys wide-rangingrelie activities.

Disbursement of Interest-Free Loans and GrantsThis is the principal activity o the Society. Loans and grants are

available or emergency transportation; shelter, ood, and utilities;medical and dental expenses not covered by government programs;uneral expenses or amily members and retirees; essential motorvehicle repairs; and scholarships and interest-ree education loans.

Volunteers Are the LifebloodThe Society also provides visiting nurse services, thrit shops,

inant layettes, ood lockers, budget counseling services, and Volun-teer training classes. The Society is staed worldwide by about 3,000Volunteers and a small, proessional, paid sta who provide continuity,training, and leadership. Volunteers are the lieblood o the Society,comprising approximately 90 percent o the work orce.

Career Opportunities AboundThe Navy-Marine Corps Relie Society provides proessional-quality,

on-the-job training and skills enhancement. I a volunteer decides toenter the commercial job market, letters o reerence to prospectiveemployers are provided. Opportunities abound or oce reception-ists, computer operators, client interviewers, layette handcraters,Thrit Shop merchandisers, volunteer visiting nurses, budget coun-seling speakers, public relations and/or marketing experts.

Training and Child Care CoveredThe Society provides ormal orientation and training courses

annually at most larger stations and bases. They are open to all withno obligation to volunteer upon completion. In act, attendees willbe reimbursed or commuting and or child care expenses incurred.

Because knowledgeable amily members are a constructive part othe Navy-Marine Corps team, all new military spouses are encouragedto attend. The course provides actual, current inormation about theintricacies o military pay and benet package, teaches amily nancialmanagement techniques, and trains prospective volunteer interviewersin social service skills pertaining to Navy-Marine Corps Relie case-work policies and procedures. The Society is blessed with a cadre oenthusiastic, hard-working, and proessional Volunteers representingthe active duty, amily member, and retired segments o the militaryamily. You owe it to yoursel to check out the opportunities available

supportser

vices


37/52

supportservices

to you at the Navy-Marine Corps Relie Society. Their number willbe located in your base or station directory, or you can contact theSociety at their national oce at:

nvy-mi cp rif siy801 North Randolph Street, Room 1228Arlington, Virginia 22203-1978(703) 696-4904.

coast guard mutual assIstanceThe Mutual Assistance Program helps Coast Guard members

help each other. This is an independent, nonprot organizationthat is unded through tax-deductible contributions. The unitsMutual Assistance representative is available to help with the

ollowing programs: ey l. Loans are provided or the ollowingcircumstances or needs: sudden nancial or personal loss, strandedwhile traveling during transer or return rom leave, transportationat a time o illness, travel assistance or amily members at a time oillness, and when pay is lost, stolen, or delayed.

adi rd sd l. Loans are available or under-graduate or postgraduate education, and vocational or proessionalinstruction.

Hi ai. I a need exists and i no other home isowned, loans o up to $5,000 are available to help pay closing costs.Also based upon need, loans up to $2,250 are available to renters tohelp pay security deposits.

g ai. This program includes counseling andloans or uneral expenses, extraordinary medical or dental expenses,household goods, debt consolidation, and vocational/technical training.

adpi ai. This program provides loans up to$5,000 to active duty personnel to oset the high cost o adoption.

Their number will be located in the base or station directory.


38/52

formsof address CharTs

DearAdm

iralLee,

DearAdm

iralLee,

DearAdm

iralLee,

DearCaptainLee,

DearCom

mander

Lee,

DearCom

mander

Lee,

DearLieutenantLee,

DearLieutenantLee,

DearEns

ignLee,

DearChieWarrant

OfcerLee,

Admiral

ViceAdmiral

RearAdmi

ral

Captain

Command

er

Lieutenan

t

Command

er

Lieutenan

t

Lieutenan

t,

juniorgrade

Ensign

ChieWarrant

Ofcer

WarrantOfcer

A

dmiralLee

A

dmiralLee

A

dmiralLee

C

aptainLee

C

ommander

Lee

C

ommander

Lee

LieutenantLee

LieutenantLee

E

nsignLee

Mr.Leeor

ChieWarrant

O

fcerLee

Position

OfcialEnvelope

S

ocialEnvelope

Invitation

PlaceCard

Salutation

close

Introduce

Co

nversation

AdmiralJamesD.

Lee,

U.S.

Navy

Position/Title

ViceAdmiralJamesD.

Lee,

U.S.

Navy

Position/Title

RearAdmiralMaryLee,

U.S.Navy

Position/Title

CaptainMaryLee,

U.S.

CoastGuard

CommanderJamesD.

Lee,

U.S.

Navy

LieutenantCommander

JamesD.

Lee,

U.S.

Navy

LieutenantMaryLee,

U.S.

CoastGuard

Lieutenant,junior

gradeMaryLee,

U.S.

CoastGuard

EnsignJamesD.

Lee,

U.S.

CoastGuard

ChieWarrantOfcer

JamesD.Lee,

U.S.

Navy

AdmiralandMrs.

JamesD.

Lee

ViceAdmiraland

Mrs.

JamesD.

Lee

R

earAdmiralMary

Le

eandDr.JohnKay

CaptainMaryLee

andMr.JohnLee

Commanderand

Mrs.

JamesD.

Lee

Lieutenant

Commanderand

Mrs.

JamesD.

Lee

LieutenantMaryLee

andMr.JohnLee

Lieutenant,

juniorgradeMaryLee

EnsignJamesD.Lee

ChieWarrantOfcer

an

dMrs.JamesD.Lee

AdmiralLee

ViceAdmiral

Lee

RearAdmiral

Lee

CaptainLee

Commander

Lee

Lieutenant

Commander

Lee

LieutenantLee

Lieutenant,

juniorgrade

Lee

EnsignLee

ChieWarrant

OfcerLee

AdmiralLee

Mrs.

Lee

ViceAdmiralLee

Mrs.

Lee

RearAdmiralLee

Dr.Kay

CaptainLee

Mr.Lee

CommanderLee

Mrs.

Lee

Lieutenant

CommanderLee

Mrs.

Lee

LieutenantLee

Mr.Lee

Lieutenant,junior

gradeLee*

EnsignLee*

ChieWarrant

OfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

Admiraland

Mrs.

Lee

ViceAdmirala

nd

Mrs.

Lee

RearAdmiralL

ee

andDr.Kay

CaptainLeeand

Mr.Lee

Commanderand

Mrs.

Lee

Lieutenant

Commanderand

Mrs.

Lee

LieutenantLee

andMr.Lee

Lieutenant,

juniorgradeL

ee

EnsignLee

ChieWarran

t

Ofcerand

Mrs.

Lee

properFormsoFaddressForu.s.n

avyand

u.s.coastguard

oFFIcerpersonnel

*GuestotheServiceMembe

r:Mr.orMs.LastName

Close or all is Sincerely Yours,referencec

Harts


39/52

37

MasterChiePetty

OfcerKarlLee

MasterChiePettyO

fcer

otheNavyU.S.N

avy

CommandMasterC

hie

PettyOfcerKarl

Lee,

U.S.

Navy

MasterChiePetty

OfcerGailLee,

U.S.

CoastGuard

SeniorChiePetty

OfcerKarlLee,

U.S.

Navy

ChiePettyOfc

er

KarlLee,U.S.Na

vy

PettyOfcerFir

st

ClassGailLee,

U.S.

Navy

SeamanRecrui

t

KarlLee,U.S.Na

vy

MasterChiePetty

OfcerotheNavy

andMrs.

KarlLee

CommandMaster

ChiePettyOfcer

andMrs.

KarlLee

MasterChiePetty

OfcerGailLee

andMr.JackLee

SeniorChiePetty

Ofcerand

Mrs.

KarlLee

ChiePettyOfcer

andMrs.

KarlLee

PettyOfcerFirst

ClassGailLee

SeamanRecruit

KarlLee

DearMasterChie

Lee,

DearMasterChie

Lee,

DearMasterChie

Lee,

DearSeniorChie

Lee,

DearChieLee,

DearPettyOfcer

Lee,

DearSeamanLee,

Maste

rChiePetty

Ofce

rotheNavy

andMrs.

Lee

C

ommand

Ma

sterChie

PettyOfcer

andMrs.

Lee

Ma

sterChie

Petty

OfcerLee

an

dMr.Lee

SeniorChie

PettyOfcer

andMrs.

Lee

ChiePettyOfcer

andMrs.

Lee

Petty

OfcerFirst

C

lassLee

Seam

anRecruit

Lee

MasterChiePetty

OfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

MasterChiePetty

OfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

MasterChiePetty

OfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

SeniorChie

PettyOfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

ChiePetty

OfcerLee

Mrs.

Lee

PettyOfcerFirst

ClassLee*

SeamanRecruit

Lee*

MasterChiePetty

OfcerotheNavy

orC

oastGuard

Comm

andEnlisted

Advisor

(USCGonly)

Comman

dMasterChie

(Navyonly)

FleetMasterChie

ForceMasterChie

MasterChie

Pet

tyOfcer

Sen

iorChie

Pet

tyOfcer

Chie

PettyOfcer

PettyOfcerFirstClass/

SecondC

lass/ThirdClass

S

eaman

SeamanApprentice

Seam

anRecruit

MasterChie

PettyO

fcero

theNavyLee

CommandMaster

ChiePetty

OfcerLee

MasterChie

PettyOfcerLee

SeniorChie

PettyOfcerLee

ChiePetty

OfcerLee

PettyOfcer

FirstC

lassLee

Seaman

Recruit

L

ee

P

osition

OfcialEnvelo

pe

SocialEnvelope

Invitation

PlaceCard

Salutation

Close

Intro

duce

Conver-

sation

Master

ChieLee

Master

ChieLee

Master

ChieLee

Senior

ChieLee

ChieLee

Petty

OfcerLee

Seaman

Lee

ProPerformsofAddressforU.s.NAvyANd

U.s.CoAstGUArd

eNlisted

PersoNNel

*GuestotheServiceMember:Mr.orMs.LastName

refer

encecharts

Close for all is Sincerely Yours,


40/52

GeneralKay

GeneralKay

GeneralKay

GeneralKay

ColonelKay

ColonelKay

MajorKay

CaptainKay

LieutenantKay

LieutenantKay

Mr.Kayor

ChieWarrant

OfcerKay

GeneralKay

Lieutenan

t

GeneralKay

MajorGeneral

Kay

Brigadier

GeneralKay

ColonelKay

Lieutenan

t

ColonelKay

MajorKa

y

CaptainKay

FirstLieutenant

Kay

Second

LieutenantKay

ChieWarrant

OfcerKay

GeneralKay

Mrs.Kay

LieutenantGeneral

Kay

Mr.Kay

MajorGeneralKay

Mrs.Kay

BrigadierGeneral

Kay

Mr.Kay

ColonelKay*

LieutenantColonel

Kay/Mrs.

Kay

MajorKay

Mrs.Kay

CaptainKay

Mrs.Kay

FirstLieutenantKay*

SecondLieutenant

Kay*

ChieWarrantOfcer

KayandMrs.

Kay

SocialEnvelope

Invitation

PlaceCard

Salutation

Close

Introduc

e

Conversation

Generaland

Mrs.

JohnKay

LieutenantGeneral

SaraKayand

Mr.JimKay

MajorGeneralSara

KayandMr.JimKay

BrigadierGeneral

SaraKayand

Mr.JimKay

ColonelSaraKay

LieutenantColonel

andMrs.

JohnKay

Majorand

Mrs.

JohnKay

Captainand

Mrs.

JohnKay

FirstLieutenant

JohnKay

SecondLieutenant

JohnKay

ChieWarrantOfcer

andMrs.JohnKay

DearGeneralKay,

DearGeneralKay,

DearGeneralKay,

DearGeneralKay,

DearColonelKay,

DearColonelKay,

DearMajorKay

DearCaptainKay,

DearLieutenant

Kay,

DearLieutenant

Kay,

Dea

rChieWarrant

OfcerKay,

Generaland

Mrs.K

ay

Lieutenant

General

KayandM

r.Kay

MajorGeneralKay

andMr.

Kay

BrigadierGeneral

KayandM

r.Kay

ColonelKay

Lieutenant

Colonel

andMrs

.Kay

MajorandMrs.

Kay

Captain

and

Mrs.K

ay

FirstLieutenantKay

SecondLie

utenant

Kay

ChieWarrantOfcer

andMrs

.Kay

Position

OfcialEnvelope

General

Lieuten

ant

General

MajorGeneral

Brigad

ier

General

Colon

el

Lieuten

ant

Colon

el

Majo

r

Capta

in

Firs

t

Lieuten

ant

Second

Lieuten

ant

ChieWarrant

Ofcer

GeneralJohnKay,

U.S.

MarineCorps

Position/Title

LieutenantGeneral

SaraKay,U.S.MarineCorps

Position/Title

MajorGeneralSaraKay,

U.S.

MarineCorps

Position/Title

BrigadierGeneralSaraKay,

U.S.

MarineCorps

Position/Title

ColonelSaraKay,

U.S.MarineCorps

LieutenantColonelJohn

Kay,

U.S.

MarineCorps

MajorJohnKay,

U.S.MarineCorps

CaptainJohnKay,

U.S.MarineCorps

FirstLieutenantJohnKay,

U.S.MarineCorps

SecondLieutenantJohnKay,

U.S.MarineCorps

ChieWarrantOfcerJohn

Kay,

U.S.MarineCorps

proper

FormsoFaddressForu.s.marInecorpsoFFIcerpers

onnel *

GuestotheServiceMem

ber:Mr.orMs.LastName

Close or all is Sincerely Yours,

referencecHarts


41/52


42/52

0

flags, pennanTs &CusToms CharT

(1) Salute is rendered at rst note o music and held until last note.(2) Proper orm o salute when in civilian attire: MEN Remove hats and

hold at let shoulder with right hand over heart; without hats, place right hand,palm open, over heart. WOMEN Place right hand, palm open, over heart.

(3) When in athletic clothing, ace fag or music, remove hats or caps, andstand at attention. Hand salute is not rendered.

(4) Salute is rendered when fag is 6 paces rom viewer and held until it haspassed 6 paces beyond.

(5) Members o the Navy and Coast Guard do not, as a rule, remain coveredindoors. A ceremony or ormation may require service members to remain covered

throughout the proceeding or just or the purpose o rendering proper salutes andhonors.

*NOTE: No salute is rendered indoors or outdoors during playing or singing oAmerica, or singing o the National Anthem.

Foreign Nationals should stand at attention.

The fag and the National Anthem are symbols o our

Nation. Honoring our national symbols is a duty or memberso the Armed Forces and all American citizens.

wHen to salute

FLAGDuring ceremony

o hoisting or loweringfag, position o

Documents

Social Customs