Social and Social and Emotional Emotional

Needs of the GiftedNeeds of the Gifted““Intelligence is not a privilege, Intelligence is not a privilege,

it’s a gift and it must be used for it’s a gift and it must be used for thethe betterment ofbetterment of mankindmankind.” .” Dr. Dr.

Octavia (Spiderman Character)Octavia (Spiderman Character)

Nancy L. Carey, M.S., M.A.Nancy L. Carey, M.S., M.A.Murrieta Valley Unified School DistrictMurrieta Valley Unified School District

05/09

• Bright kids are Bright kids are not better, not better,

yet they are yet they are different; different;

and because they and because they are, are,

they face they face different issues.different issues.

Different

Emotional IntensityEmotional Intensity

• Giftedness has an emotional as well as Giftedness has an emotional as well as intellectual component. Intellectual intellectual component. Intellectual complexity goes hand in hand with complexity goes hand in hand with emotional depth. emotional depth.

• Thinking is more complex; emotions Thinking is more complex; emotions have more depth. have more depth.

• Emotional intensity is a different Emotional intensity is a different

way of experiencing the world. It isway of experiencing the world. It is

also thealso the motivation motivation for achievement. for achievement.

Brain ResearchBrain Research

• Link between emotions and intellect has Link between emotions and intellect has profound effect on gifted people.profound effect on gifted people.

• An intrinsic part of being gifted; provides An intrinsic part of being gifted; provides the drive that gifted people have for the drive that gifted people have for personal growth and achievement.personal growth and achievement.

• Emotions are tied to neurons inEmotions are tied to neurons in

the brain via chemicals that attachthe brain via chemicals that attach

to neurons. to neurons. • Gifted people may be more emotionally Gifted people may be more emotionally

aware.aware.

Expression of EmotionsExpression of Emotions• Extremes of emotion, positive & negative Extremes of emotion, positive & negative • Bodily symptoms-headache, nausea, Bodily symptoms-headache, nausea,

tense stomach, blushing.tense stomach, blushing.• Inhibition-shyness; fears and anxietiesInhibition-shyness; fears and anxieties• Emotional ties and attachments to others, Emotional ties and attachments to others,

empathy, concern for others, sensitivity empathy, concern for others, sensitivity in relationships, attachment to animals, in relationships, attachment to animals, difficulty in adjusting to new difficulty in adjusting to new environments.environments.

• Critical self evaluation, feelings of Critical self evaluation, feelings of inadequacy & inferiorityinadequacy & inferiority

Six Categories of Six Categories of Gifted and Talented Gifted and Talented

StudentsStudentsType I: The SuccessfulType I: The Successful

Type II: The ChallengingType II: The Challenging

Type III: The UndergroundType III: The Underground

Type IV: The DropoutsType IV: The Dropouts

Type V: The Double-LabeledType V: The Double-Labeled

Type VI: The Autonomous LearnerType VI: The Autonomous Learner

Type I: The Type I: The SuccessfulSuccessful

• 90% identified GATE students90% identified GATE students• “ “Learned” the systemLearned” the system• Score high on achievement tests, but Score high on achievement tests, but just going through the motions. Do just just going through the motions. Do just enough to get by.enough to get by.• Few behavior problems, most believe Few behavior problems, most believe they will “make it on their own”.they will “make it on their own”.• Often fail to learn needed skills Often fail to learn needed skills and attitudes for autonomy and attitudes for autonomy (dependent on adults for reinf.).(dependent on adults for reinf.).• Lose creativity and autonomyLose creativity and autonomy• Fresh Prince: cousin - CarltonFresh Prince: cousin - Carlton

Type II: The ChallengingType II: The Challenging

• Unidentified GATE. Unidentified GATE. • Highly creative, obstinate, sarcastic, question Highly creative, obstinate, sarcastic, question

authority of teacher.authority of teacher.• Interactions at school and home involve conflictInteractions at school and home involve conflict• FRUSTRATED because school has not validated FRUSTRATED because school has not validated

their gifts and abilities.their gifts and abilities.• Struggling self esteem, negative self conceptsStruggling self esteem, negative self concepts• ““At risk” of dropping out, At risk” of dropping out, drug addiction, delinquent behavior. drug addiction, delinquent behavior. • May/may not feel included in social groupMay/may not feel included in social group• Fresh Prince (WILL SMITH)Fresh Prince (WILL SMITH)

Type III: The Type III: The UndergroundUnderground

• Want to hide their giftednessWant to hide their giftedness• Generally middle school Generally middle school girls whose belonging needs girls whose belonging needs rise dramaticallyrise dramatically• Deny their talent in order to Deny their talent in order to belong with a non-gifted peer belong with a non-gifted peer group.group.• Feel insecure and anxiousFeel insecure and anxious• They benefit from being They benefit from being accepted as they are at the accepted as they are at the time. time. • Alternatives should be Alternatives should be explored to meet academic explored to meet academic needs without abandoning all needs without abandoning all advanced classes.advanced classes.•Movie: MEAN GIRLS – MAIN Movie: MEAN GIRLS – MAIN CHARACTER: Cady (Lyndsay CHARACTER: Cady (Lyndsay LohanLohan

Type IV: The DropoutsType IV: The Dropouts• Usually high school students, but can be elementary student Usually high school students, but can be elementary student

who has “dropped out” emotionally, mentally, physically who has “dropped out” emotionally, mentally, physically (attendance). (attendance).

• ANGRY (w/adults and themselves)ANGRY (w/adults and themselves)• Low self esteem, bitter, resentfulLow self esteem, bitter, resentful• Often were identified as GATE late (H.S.) & feel rejected by Often were identified as GATE late (H.S.) & feel rejected by

a system that has not met their needs for many years.a system that has not met their needs for many years.• Act depressed, withdrawn, defensiveAct depressed, withdrawn, defensive• Fail to receive support and affirmation for their talents Fail to receive support and affirmation for their talents

(which lie outside the realm of regular school curriculum). (which lie outside the realm of regular school curriculum). • School seems irrelevant and hostile to themSchool seems irrelevant and hostile to them• Accomodations: 1. Require a close working relationship Accomodations: 1. Require a close working relationship with an adult they can trust.with an adult they can trust.

2. Family & individual counseling is beneficial.2. Family & individual counseling is beneficial. Examples: Cher, Sean Connery, Ray CharlesExamples: Cher, Sean Connery, Ray Charles Robert DineroRobert Dinero

Type V: The Double-Type V: The Double-LabeledLabeled

• Gifted children who are also physically or emotionally Gifted children who are also physically or emotionally handicapped (or have learning disabilities). handicapped (or have learning disabilities). (GATE/ADD)(GATE/ADD)

• Not your typical GATE student. Sloppy handwriting, Not your typical GATE student. Sloppy handwriting, disruptive behaviors, don’t complete work.disruptive behaviors, don’t complete work.

• Feel discouraged, frustrated, rejected, helpless, Feel discouraged, frustrated, rejected, helpless, isolated.isolated.

• Deny having difficulty, claim to be “bored”Deny having difficulty, claim to be “bored”• Use humor to demean, are impatient & critical.Use humor to demean, are impatient & critical.• Unhappy about performance, intellectualize to cope Unhappy about performance, intellectualize to cope

with feelings of inadequacy.with feelings of inadequacy.• Often unidentified GATE, ignored, Often unidentified GATE, ignored, schools focus on weaknesses rather schools focus on weaknesses rather than nurture strengths.than nurture strengths.• Walt Disney, Beethoven, Albert Einstein Walt Disney, Beethoven, Albert Einstein

Type VI: The Autonomous Type VI: The Autonomous LearnerLearner

• Rarely evident at young ages.Rarely evident at young ages.• Work effectively in school system, but use Work effectively in school system, but use

the system to create opportunities for the system to create opportunities for themselves.themselves.

• Strong, positive self concepts because Strong, positive self concepts because needs are being met.needs are being met.

• Independent, self-directed, successfulIndependent, self-directed, successful• Accept themselves, take risksAccept themselves, take risks• Respected by adults and peers, often Respected by adults and peers, often • serve in leadership capacityserve in leadership capacity• Strong sense personal power, change Strong sense personal power, change

makers.makers.

Stages of FriendshipStages of FriendshipStage 1: Play Partner-Stage 1: Play Partner-

someone to play with, borrow things fromsomeone to play with, borrow things fromStage 2: People to Chat to-Stage 2: People to Chat to-

someone to share interests, have conversations.someone to share interests, have conversations.Stage 3: Help & Encouragement-Stage 3: Help & Encouragement-

someone who will offer help (still one-sided view).someone who will offer help (still one-sided view).Stage 4: Intimacy/empathy-Stage 4: Intimacy/empathy-

recognition that comfort and support flows both ways, recognition that comfort and support flows both ways, giving AND receiving are important, emotional giving AND receiving are important, emotional sharing begins.sharing begins.

Stage 5: Sure Shelter-Stage 5: Sure Shelter- “ “A faithful friend is a sure A faithful friend is a sure shelter; whoever finds one has found a rare treasure” shelter; whoever finds one has found a rare treasure” Ecclesiastes 6:14.Ecclesiastes 6:14.A deep and lasting relationship of trust, fidelity, A deep and lasting relationship of trust, fidelity, unconditional acceptance.unconditional acceptance.

Gifted- Choice of FriendsGifted- Choice of Friends• Gifted children are further along hierarchy of Gifted children are further along hierarchy of

friendship than age-peers of average ability (by friendship than age-peers of average ability (by 2 to 6 years!). Their conception of friendship is 2 to 6 years!). Their conception of friendship is much higher than average children.much higher than average children.

• They seek to meet needs of intellect AND They seek to meet needs of intellect AND intimacy in friendship.intimacy in friendship.

• Gifted children seek the “sure shelter” Gifted children seek the “sure shelter” friendships as young as 6 or 7 years.friendships as young as 6 or 7 years.

• In elementary years, gifted children will have In elementary years, gifted children will have difficulty finding satisfying friendships. They difficulty finding satisfying friendships. They need help from adults establishing these need help from adults establishing these relationships.relationships.

Promoting positive social Promoting positive social developmentdevelopment

• Have need to interact w/mental peers, Have need to interact w/mental peers, companions with similar interests, abilities.companions with similar interests, abilities.

• Need help to find these friends, risk being Need help to find these friends, risk being labeled strange by classmates (results in labeled strange by classmates (results in social alienation). social alienation).

• Happier, well adjusted when relating to Happier, well adjusted when relating to other gifted children.other gifted children.

• Also need interaction of peers of similar Also need interaction of peers of similar developmental stages. (team sports, extra-developmental stages. (team sports, extra-curricular clubs, church).curricular clubs, church).

• With support of gifted peers, they can join With support of gifted peers, they can join in other groups without fear of rejection. in other groups without fear of rejection.

Social DevelopmentSocial Development

• Gifted students enrolled in special Gifted students enrolled in special programs experience enhanced self programs experience enhanced self esteem. esteem.

• Provide social interactions w/true peers.Provide social interactions w/true peers.• Suggest summer programs to parents Suggest summer programs to parents

(especially at elementary level) to help (especially at elementary level) to help establish solid base of self esteem in establish solid base of self esteem in early childhood. early childhood.

• Self knowledge increases ability to Self knowledge increases ability to relate effectively with others. relate effectively with others.

Needs of Gifted in Needs of Gifted in FriendshipsFriendships

When gifted children are asked what they most When gifted children are asked what they most desire, the answer is often ‘a friend’. (Silverman)desire, the answer is often ‘a friend’. (Silverman)

• Social isolation experienced by gifted children is Social isolation experienced by gifted children is most pronounced between ages 4 and 9 most pronounced between ages 4 and 9 (elementary years).(elementary years).

• Throughout elementary school most gifted Throughout elementary school most gifted children will have difficulty making friends with children will have difficulty making friends with others who have similar expectations of others who have similar expectations of friendship.friendship.

• Placement with peers of intellectual and Placement with peers of intellectual and emotional emotional

maturity is critical!*maturity is critical!*• In absence of this*, loneliness and social isolation In absence of this*, loneliness and social isolation is likely, resulting in lower academic is likely, resulting in lower academic

performance. performance.

Affective DomainAffective Domain

• When school focuses solely on cognitive domain, When school focuses solely on cognitive domain, excluding the affective and physical domains, excluding the affective and physical domains, gifted child feels “out of sync” with peers.gifted child feels “out of sync” with peers.

• This unbalanced development leads to This unbalanced development leads to perfectionism, self-criticism, poor self-concept, perfectionism, self-criticism, poor self-concept, depression, eating disorders, and antisocial depression, eating disorders, and antisocial behavior. behavior.

• When gifted students are permitted to work and When gifted students are permitted to work and play with intellectual peers, loneliness and play with intellectual peers, loneliness and social isolation disappears, resulting in social isolation disappears, resulting in academic and personal success. academic and personal success.

AT RISK?AT RISK?• Research suggests that Research suggests that

15 percent of 15 percent of incarcerated youth incarcerated youth tested in top 3 % on tested in top 3 % on standardized standardized intelligence scales.intelligence scales.

• Some estimate that as Some estimate that as many as 25% are many as 25% are gifted.gifted.

• Recent shootings Recent shootings around the country around the country committed by kids who committed by kids who have been described as have been described as very bright.very bright.

RecommendationsRecommendations

• In responding to the emotional intensity In responding to the emotional intensity that gifted children display, they need to be that gifted children display, they need to be told that intense feelings are NORMAL for told that intense feelings are NORMAL for gifted children. gifted children.

• Teachers: must not tolerate other children Teachers: must not tolerate other children ridiculing the gifted child for reacting ridiculing the gifted child for reacting strongly to an apparently trivial incident.strongly to an apparently trivial incident.

• It doesn’t help to say, “You’re too sensitive” It doesn’t help to say, “You’re too sensitive” or “It’ll be okay”.or “It’ll be okay”.

• We need to accept their emotions and helpWe need to accept their emotions and help them to feel understood and supported. them to feel understood and supported.

PerfectionismPerfectionism

• Studies of gifted students show Studies of gifted students show that the levels of perfectionism that the levels of perfectionism in gifted students are the SAME in gifted students are the SAME as for the regular population.as for the regular population.

• The only difference in The only difference in perfectionism was demonstrated perfectionism was demonstrated by students whose parents by students whose parents pressured them to succeed.pressured them to succeed.

• www.gt-cybersource.org/www.gt-cybersource.org/ Profiles of Profiles of the Gifted and Talentedthe Gifted and Talented

• www.sengifted.orgwww.sengifted.org Teasing and Teasing and Gifted ChildrenGifted Children

• www.sengifted.orgwww.sengifted.org Case for Case for Affective EducationAffective Education

• www.sengifted.orgwww.sengifted.org Promoting Promoting Positive Social DevelopmentPositive Social Development