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You get THREE GOLD STARS
for reading this book
(good choice).
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 1 12/1/14 5:22 PM
s p a r e b o o t s
Vam p i
r e
S WA M P
m o ns t
e r
Smile!
Home-
work
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 2 12/1/14 5:22 PM
Smile!
By Liz Pichon
ExcellentExcuses
(and other good stuff)
Includes a special glossary
by TOM!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 3 12/1/14 5:22 PM
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s
imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Copyright © 2011 by Liz Pichon
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information
retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
First U.S. edition 2015
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2014944793 ISBN 978-0-7636-7474-8
14 15 16 17 18 19 BVG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in Berryville, VA, U.S.A.
This book was typeset in Pichon. The illustrations were done in mixed media.
Candlewick Press 99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
Tree
photograph
P. 21 courtesy
of
Lily Pichon
Flannery.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 4 12/1/14 5:22 PM
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 5 12/1/14 5:22 PM
(Homework snacks)
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 6 12/1/14 5:22 PM
1
Wake up this morning and
suddenly remember something absolute ly
BRILLIANT!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 1 12/1/14 5:22 PM
Yeah!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 2 12/1/14 5:22 PM
3
I can forget ALL about lessons
(and irr itating things l ike
Marcus Meldrew) . And concentrate
on GOOD stuff l ike :
Inventing new ways to annoy
my s ister, Del ia . (So many! )
Drawing pictures
(that annoy Del ia ) .
Watching TV and
eating caramel wafers .
Eating caramel wafers
and watching TV .
And most important . . .
Ha! Ha!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 3 12/1/14 5:22 PM
4
-Band pract i ce for
with Derek
(who’s my best mate and
next-door neighbor. )
Tonight we’re p lanning a s leepover
at his house . Which is easy to do
as he’s so c lose .
zzzzzzzz
z
Excellent choice.
OK!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 4 12/1/14 5:22 PM
5
One of the other great things about going to
Derek’s is he doesn’t have an annoying
s ister ( l ike I do) . . .
AND he has a dog cal led Rooster.
Which I know is a stupid name
for a dog, but I ’m getting used
to it (sort of) .
Sometimes Rooster can be
almost as annoying as Del ia . Espec ia l ly when
he won’t stop
Occas ional ly Derek
throws him a to shut him up.
Woof
BARKING!Doggy Treat
Yum!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 5 12/1/14 5:22 PM
6
But if that doesn’t work , I give him a
pair of D e l ia ’s sunglasses
to chew on. It keeps h im happy
for HOURS .
Right now I can hear De l ia
shuffl ing around outs ide my
bedroom (which usual ly means troub le ) .
So I LEAN on my door to stop her
from barging in .
Somehow she st i l l manages to
st ick her head
around the door.
She says . . .
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 6 12/1/14 5:22 PM
7
You’re in troub le . Mom wants to see
you RIGHT NOW,
(That doesn’t sound good . . . groan. )
I wish I cou ld shut Del ia up with a doggy
treat. How good would that be?
Ha! Ha!
DELIATREATS
SHUTS HER UP!
.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 7 12/1/14 5:22 PM
8
When I see Mom, she’s hold ing a
letter from school . I ’m trying
real ly hard to
remember
ANYTHING I ’ve done
that might have gotten me into troub le .
No . . . can’t think of anything.
Nothing at al l .
(I am innocent. )
But by the way Mom is looking at me,
in that What have you got to say for yourself?
kind of way, I must have forgotten
something. She gives me the letter to read.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 8 12/1/14 5:22 PM
9
OK, just remembered.
To Mr. and Mrs. Gates
RE: Tom Gates Dog Attack
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gates,
I do hope that Tom has recovered from the vicious
dog that attacked him on the last day of the term
as he walked to school.
What luck that he had his schoolbook to defend
himself with.
I’m SO glad i t was only his homework that was
chewed and not Tom. Enclosed is ANOTHER copy
of the HOMEWORK — to review a fi lm/book/
TV show — for Tom to complete again during his
holiday.
Let’s hope there are no other ANGRY beasts
ready to pounce in the future!
Many thanks for your help.
Kind regards,
Mr. Ful lerman
Class 5F Teacher
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 9 12/1/14 5:22 PM
10
I am trying to expla in to Mom what
happened to me by reenacting the
who le scene in s low motion.
(There was no choice . . . . It was me or the
homework. )
But she’s not impressed. I think she
suspects I might have made up the dog
attack (I did . )
Instead I have to agree to:1.Do my review homework (AGAIN) .
2.Not use vic ious dogs as an excuse
for lack of homework (or any other
Grrrr
Grrrr
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 10 12/1/14 5:22 PM
11
kind of creature, for that matter. )
3. Clean my room. (Mom added that one. )
Sti l l , at
least I have
to do the
review homework in .
Though I wi l l probab ly leave it unti l the last
poss ib le moment, l ike the night before school .
That works for me.
Got it.
Homework
Alien
Hand over your homework.
If you insist.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 11 12/1/14 5:22 PM
12
“NOW?What do you mean I have to do my homework
r ight now? I’ve st i l l got
TWO WHOLE WEEKS!”Mom says, “There’s no time l ike the present.”
Then she adds, “No s leepover at Derek’s unti l
you’ve done your homework.”
Which is a DISASTER!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 12 12/1/14 5:22 PM
13
I have to think of something to
review quick ly . Mmmmmmmmm.
Think . . . think . . . th ink . . . th ink . . .
th ink . . . .
If I don’t think of something fAST
Mom wi l l keep me in the house
Then, just to add to the
, Derek phones up to
find out what time I’m coming over for the
s leepover and band practice .
I hear Mom saying,
That all depends on how l ong it takes Tom to do h i s rev iew homework , Derek . (That’s ALL I need. )
when
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 13 12/1/14 5:22 PM
14
Mom thinks I shou ld go to my room to
“s it quiet ly and concentrate on getting it
done.”
(It ’s not working. )
B L A N K
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 14 12/1/14 5:22 PM
15
So I do some drawing instead.
It ’s a lot more fun inventing my own
characters . . . .
The ONLY thing I can think of that I
cou ld review is the concert that
Dad took me to. It ’s actual ly a BRILLIANT idea
because is amazing.
(Even Mr. fu l lerman is a fan. )
Suddenly my review wi l l be no prob lem at al l .
Derek’s house, here I come.
Ha, Ha!THE BODGE BROTHERS
Straw?
Rubbish at EVERYTHING
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 15 12/1/14 5:22 PM
16
REVIEW HOMEWORKby Tom Gates
I went to see the concert .
They are the
and anyone who doesn’t think so is
a total IDIOT.The End
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 16 12/1/14 5:22 PM
17
I run downstairs and show it quick ly to Mom.
There . . . a l l done.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 17 12/1/14 5:22 PM
18
I am busy packing a few essentia ls
for Derek’s house when
Dad comes up
to see me.
Apparent ly Mom
doesn’t think I am taking my review homework
“ser ious ly .” Dad says I have do it again
“PROPERLY.”
Which is a b it HARSH . (OK, I admit my
review was short, but true . )
Dad suddenly holds up a packet of
wafers .
“for the s leepover,
when you’ve done your
homework again , OK?”
WAfERS
ROCK WEEKLY
ROCK WEEKLY
SNACKS
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 18 12/1/14 5:22 PM
19
SUDDENLY I am VERY
In fact I have a TOTAL
to get my homework done in doub le-quick t ime.
(I am a genius . )
I run d o w n stairs and grab
the first book from the she lf that
looks thick (but not TOO thick . ) Mom
sees that I am hold ing a BOOK and
assumes that:
TOM
(She looks p leased with me. )
WAVE BRAIN
THICK BOOK
SERIOUS ATTEMPT AT HOMEWORK.
SIGH . . .
.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 19 12/1/14 5:22 PM
20
The book I’ve got is about . . .
let me see . . .
TREESNever mind, that wi l l have to do. I can see
there’s a lot of good stuff written on
the back of this book (and ins ide ! ) that
wi l l he lp make my REvIEW seem very
impress ive indeed.
Here goes .
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 20 12/1/14 5:22 PM
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 21 12/1/14 5:22 PM
22
Homework fINISHED.
YEAH!
I te l l Mom and Dad, and they want me to
READ it to them.
“What, NOW?”“Yes, Tom, now. We’d love to hear it .”
(Which actual ly means “just checking you’ve
real ly done it this t ime.” )
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 22 12/1/14 5:22 PM
23
De l ia is lurk ing in the kitchen, trying to
l i sten. So I shut the kitchen
door ( in her face) , then read
it as quick ly as I
can.
LUCKILY, my homework is
EXCELLENT ( if I do say so myse lf) .
Mom and Dad are p leased and s l ight ly
surpr ised I ’ve managed to write such a
good review SO quick ly . I let them see it
by WAfTING it under their noses . . .
super fast .
(Must remember to hide the book on trees . )
SLAM
WA f T
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 23 12/1/14 5:22 PM
24
M om and Dad say wel l done for being
so fOCUSED.
I say, “It's a l l due to
(Which is something I’ve heard my teachers say.)
Then I add, “I ’m actual ly VERY interested
in TREES.” (I ’m not. )
This goes down real ly wel l and
stops Mom and Dad from asking me any more
difficu lt quest ions .
GREAT!(I shou ld say nice stuff l ike that more often. )
SO SWEET
."
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 24 12/1/14 5:22 PM
25
They are both in a good mood now, so I
suggest that another s ign of
would be to reward my hard work and
EffORT with some
ExTRA
p o c k e t m o n ey ?
Which doesn’t go down quite so wel l .
No chance.
(Worth a try, though. )
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 25 12/1/14 5:22 PM
26
SLEEPOvER
Derek is happy
I ’ve brought SNACKS.
But stupid ly , I ’ve forgotten to br ing my
guitar for band practice . And far
more important , I ’ve left
my spec ia l teddy at home. (I don’t te l l
Derek because we agreed that Specia l Teddies
were probab ly a b it TOO babyish now that
we’re in a band. )
AT DEREK’S.
Yeah!
WRONG
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 26 12/1/14 5:22 PM
27
Luck i ly Derek’s house is r ight next door
to mine . So I run back home to get them both.
De l ia is s itt ing in the front
garden with her “dodgy”
boyfriend, Ed
(or Ted
or whatever his
name is ) . He says, All right, Tom?
(Which is nice and takes
me by surpr ise . ) Then De l ia shouts,
Get lost … idiot. (Which is not a surpr ise at al l . )
That’s when I notice Ed and Del ia are
actual ly HOLDING HANDS. UGH!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 27 12/1/14 5:22 PM
28
It’s
I fee l a b it s ick and have to run into
the house quick ly .
I grab my guitar, teddy,
AND a se lect ion of
embarrass ing photos of Del ia that I ’ve been
saving for a VERY specia l occas ion.
I think this might be the SPECIAL
occas ion I ’ve been wait ing for.
.
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 28 12/1/14 5:22 PM
Del ia with a potty on her head
Del ia after cutting her own hair with p lay sc issors
Del ia with scary smi le
Del ia after I pushed her into the mud (my personal favor ite)
Del ia with more bad hair and zits
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 29 12/1/14 5:22 PM
30
Derek can’t stop laughing at Del ia ’s
photos .
We both agree that photos this
funny need to be shared with
OTHER people .
Other people l ike
De l ia ’s boyfr iend, ED.
Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 30 12/1/14 5:22 PM
31
(I have a good plan. )
TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 31 12/1/14 5:22 PM
Tom Gates: Excellent Excuses
(and Other Good Stuff)L. Pichon
www.candlewick.com