Small Group Discussion Guide - tommynewberry.com€¦ · Small Group Discussion Guide. Your Joy Blesses Others! Think This, Not That • In what ways is feeding our bodies similar

Small Group Discussion Guide

www.tommynewberry.com

Your Joy Blesses Others!

Think This, Not That• In what ways is feeding our bodies similar to feeding our minds?

• What is joy?

• What are some of the ways that joy is a blessing to others, both in your home and throughout the world?

• What kind of thoughts, words, and expressions are consistent with joy and what kind are not?

• Why is it that when we have the freedom to think any thought we choose, we still select thoughts that bring us and the people around us down?

Deal or No Deal• Do you believe that God has great plans for your future? Assuming you do, what evidence is there in your life right now that confirms you hold this belief?

• Have you made an irrevocable commitment to living with joy and gratitude no matter what is going on around you? Why or Why not?

• How does gratitude influence marriage, parenting, work and health?

Hundreds of Problems, Millions of Blessings

• What do the different words from different translations tell us about the significance of Philippians 4:8 in our modern lives?

• Why do you think the apostle Paul was inspired to write Philippians 4:8?

• In what ways is marriage a mixture of good and bad and how can you shift the balance of good and bad?

• In what ways is life a mixture of good and bad?

• Why is it that we tend to downplay the positives and amplify the negatives and what can we do to counteract this dynamic?

The Fifteen Minute Miracle• What are you in the habit of doing in the first fifteen

minutes after waking up in the morning?

• What would your “OPTIMAL 4:8 MORNING RITUAL” look like?

• What does Matthew 6:33 have to do with The 4:8 Principle?

• What are some of the rewards of creating a EMJR?

• What do you need to do to get ready for your EMJR?

That’s How God Made Dogs• In what ways do we sometimes act like dogs when we interact with other people, especially our loved ones?

• Why is it that the people we love the most are also most capable of “making us the maddest?”

• What is the difference between a proactive and a reactive thinker?

• What does the expression, “You Make Me So Mad” really mean and what does it have to do with our level of joy?

Write Your Own Headlines• In what ways do written goals help you discipline your mind and live more consistently with The 4:8 Principle?

• In what areas of life is it helpful to have written, specific goals and why?

• What are some of your spiritual goals? Marriage goals? Parenting goals?

• How can a lack of goals cause well-meaning people to drift into upside down, 8:4 thinking and feeling?

• Why do you think so few people bother to write down exciting goals for their life?


Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s O n e - S i x ]

1

2

3

4

5

6

http://www.tommynewberry.com



Focus Creates Feeling• In what ways do you keep track of what you are paying attention to (or thinking about) most of the time?

• What is the principle of attention and are you consciously aware of its influence on your life? How so?

• What are some of the ways we fuel or energize negative emotions?

• What are the different ways you could emphasize the good stuff in your life?

• What is the connection between your thoughts and your feelings?

Stop Identity Theft • What is a godly self-concept and why is this important?

• How does modern society and pop culture influence how you see and think about yourself?

• What are some of the truths that scripture reveals about each of us?

• In what ways do you consider yourself to be an “original masterpiece?”

• Why do most of us tend to over-identify with our shortcomings rather than our strengths?

Take a Vacation From Yourself• Why might it be wise to alter the pace and process of our life from time to time?

• What impact does, or can, our physical environment have on our mental outlook?

• How could we prevent or minimize the common occurrence of “drifting into ruts” in marriage and other relatinships?

• What do you tend to forget about when you become consumed with problems and obstacles?

• How could you shake up your spiritual life and refresh your connection with your Creator?

The Secret Studio• How is it that our thoughts today exert such an invisible, but strong influence on our circumstances tomorrow?

• Looking back, what have your best and worst life decisions had in common?

• What are the productive thoughts that you tend to think most consistently? Why?

• What are the unproductive thoughts that you tend to think most consistently? Why?

• What does “assuming good intentions” have to do with joy and The 4:8 Principle?

• What is the connection between Romans 12:2 and Philippians 4:8?

Harboring Gratitude• What does it mean to “feel grateful” and is this within your control?

• Is gratitude and thankfulness part of God’s plan for our lives?

• In what ways is gratitude a choice?• In what ways is gratitude a feeling?• In what ways is gratitude a capacity?• What aspects of your life (or people) could most benefit from some extra gratitude in the next 48 hours?

4:8 Your Mate• In what ways is marriage clearly both good and bad, both joyful and stressful?

• What is the connections between 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 and Philippians 4:8?

• What impact does our thought life have on our marriage?

• How could we stay mindful of the “mountain peaks” when we find ourselves in a “valley?”

• What difference does it make what we think about if our spouses aren’t even around?

• In your marriage, do you spend more time dwelling on the past or dreaming about the future?

• How could you intentionally “4:8 your mate” in the next 48 hours?

Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s S e v e n - T w e l v e ]

7

8

9

10

11

12




I’ll Have What He’s Having• Why do you think joy could rightly be called the

greatest attitude in the world?• How do you define joy? Why?• Is joy more of a destination or a path? Discuss.• What influence does your joyful attitude have

on others?• As Christians, do we share a responsibility to live

with joy?• How often do you think people observe your life,

marriage or kids and remark, “I’ll have what she’s having?”

The Gift of the Present • Why do you suppose God designed our minds to

be so powerful?• In what ways can thinking and worrying about

what you don’t want, bring you what you do want?• What do our memories and imaginations have

in common?• What influence does chronic negative thinking have

on our faith, our marriage, our family life, our finances, and our health?

• What does it mean to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ?”

• In what ways have you been a faithful steward of your mental life so far?

Gratitude Schmatitude • What is the connection between God and gratitude?• How might the constant noise of modern life and

technology inhibit gratitude?• In what ways does “overindulging” in the media

influence our sense of appreciation for our blessings?• How has the attitude of entitlement seeped into our

national mindset and what impact could it have on our experience of joy?

• What have you done, or could you do, to protect yourself from the “law of familiarity?”

• What is the worst part or aspect of worry?• In what ways do you already have everything you need for total joy?

Feeling v. Fact • What wisdom is contained in the humorous words

of Josh Billings when he said, “It’s what we know that ain’t true that causes us so much trouble?”

• How does our culture tend to over-emphasize the importance of feelings?

• How have you allowed your feelings to define you or dictate to you what to do and what not to do?

• What are emotions and how are they connected to Philippians 4:8?

• What do you do consistently to keep your emotional spiral pointed upward?

• What could you do to better value and act upon the truth, whether you feel like it or not?

Hunting Rats • How helpful or hurtful is venting in the pursuit of a

healthy, joyful frame of mind?• What might it mean when you feel “down” or

emotionally low? What are the different reasons we sometimes experience a deficit of joy?

• How does the 4:8 message address how to minimize or control RATs?

• What dominant RAT patterns would your spouse or a good friend say that you express?

• What are some common ways we distort reality and make ourselves and others feel rotten or deficient?

• What could you do in the next 48 hours to experience an emotional breakthrough?

Acknowledge & Challenge• How does your focus alter your feelings?• What causes some people we know to quickly shift

from positive to negative…and then back again?• What are the most common strategies or approaches

for dealing with negative emotions?• What is God’s prescription for negative emotions?• What are typical ways that people inadvertently

aggravate or intensify negative feelings?• How aware are you of your most common

negative emotions?• How might acknowledging and challenging your

negative feelings weaken their hold over you?

Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s t h i r t e e n - e i g h t e e n ]

13

14

15

16

17

18




Just Exchange It• What tends to happen when you resist or simply try to

avoid a negative thought?• How does the Law of Exchange help strengthen your

thought life?• In what ways can memorizing bible verses minimize

unproductive thinking patterns?• What are some scripture passages that inspire

you and could be even more valuable if they were committed to memory?

• In addition to bible verses, what are some affirmative, joy-producing thoughts you should have “on call” and ready if your thought life begins to deteriorate?

Visualize God’s Blessings• What is meant by the term “visualization” and how

would you explain the practice of visualization to a young child?

• What is the connection between visualization and the 4:8 principle?

• What are some of the future goals, milestones, and other special moments that you have visualized in the past?

• In what ways has your use of visualization been reactive and in what ways has it been intentional and proactive?

• Why do you suppose that most people engage their memory far more than their imagination?

• How could a fuzzy, vague vision for the future invite misunderstanding, strife and stress? In life? In marriage? In business?

A Cry For Help• In what ways do other people influence our potential

for joy?• What is meant by the phrase, “fluently compassionate?”• Compare the “pro’s and cons” of extending

compassion toward difficult people versus suppressing or expressing negative feelings.

• What assumption about difficult people makes it a little easier to extend compassion toward them and what’s in it for you?

• In what ways can extending compassion help preserve joy? In a family? In a marriage? In the workplace?• What are three ways you can increase your capacity for compassion?

We Are Sponges• In what ways do we soak up the exposures in our

environment?• What does it mean to, “keep watch over your heart”

and what does this have to do with your experience of joy?

• Why do you suppose so many people downplay or minimize the significance of their own thought life?

• How is your mind and thought life much like the software programs that run computers and mobile devices?

• In light of Philippians 4:8, if you could repeat the last five years, what books, images, movies, TV shows, music, or other media would you NOT allow into your mind?

• What ground rules or boundaries are you committed to implementing in next 48 hours to better protect your heart?

What Did You Eat for Dinner Last Night?• What influence do the questions we repeatedly ask

ourselves have on our potential for joy?• What kinds of questions are you already in the habit of

asking yourself?• How do our habitual questions shape our outlook on

life and relationships?• What are some sample questions that a discontented

spouse might be asking over and over again?• What are some sample questions that a “4:8 spouse”

might ask on a regular basis and why?• What do 4:8 questions and the Law of Exchange [Day

19] have in common?• What aspects of your life could most benefit from

better questions?

Whatever Your Hand Finds To Do• Why do you think God invented work?• What influence does our career and work-life have on

our capacity for joy?• How might work, of all kinds, be good for our souls?• In what ways could “viewing your work as your

ministry” produce more joy in your life?• What is the connection between serving others with

excellence and the joy we experience for ourselves?• How might complacency, plateaus and comfort zones

corrode your joy and what can you do to inoculate yourself from this kind of life?

Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s n i n e t e e n - t w e n t y - f o u r ]

19

20

21

22

23

24




To Advance, First Retreat• What does it mean to fly through life on “auto-pilot?”• In what ways can deliberate and consistent reflection

time grow your faith and build your wisdom?• What are some of the barriers, both real and imagined,

that keep us from stopping and reflecting?• In what different ways and situations could you use the

three reflection questions to expand your joy and grow your wisdom?

• Would reflection tend to benefit your life more in times of crisis or in the routine days and weeks?

• How are you intending to practice reflection from this point forward?

Stop & Drop

• Why is it that we seem to be either on an upward emotional spiral or on a downward spiral and what can we do about it?

• In what ways does our negativity toward others influence our potential for joy?

• What is your plan or method for getting rid of distracting or unproductive thoughts when they pop up, especially at inconvenient times?

• What motivates us to embrace negative thoughts when they just make us feel worse?

• What kinds of advance decisions should you make if you want to embrace joy rather than junk?

• What are the pros and cons of venting?

Don’t Sweat the Big Stuff, Either• What does scripture teach us about adversity and difficulty?• In what ways is growing our strength through weight

training similar to growing our character through difficult times?

• How is the 4:8 principle relevant to someone in the middle of a crisis or suffering?

• In what ways could our spiritual understanding of adversity influence our potential for joy?

• What are some difficult situations from your own life where you dealt either positively and negatively with a

big problem?• Who do you know that has handled a trying time in an extraordinary way and what can you learn from their example?• What’s your game plan for dealing with adversity from this point forward?

Words of Mass Destruction• How does our mouth sometimes get in the way of our joy?• Who are the biggest encouragers in your life right now?• Do you tend to speak more positively to your family or

to friends and even strangers?• In what ways do you use the spoken word to expand

your joy? • Do your words consistently reveal faith in your prayers or

doubt and defeat? • How could you intentionally apply Philippians 4:8 to

your mouth in the next 48 hours?

Way to Go!• How do you define success?• In what ways does your success bless others?• Who are some ordinary as well as some famous success

stories and how has their success blessed many others?• How does a school teacher’s, small business owner’s and

professional athlete’s success bless other people?• In what ways could envy and jealousy of others

sabotage our own joy?• What’s great about admiring and appreciating other

people’s success and accomplishment?• How could you applaud more often and be a bigger

“fan” of other’s triumphs and how might this influence your own joy?

Affirming God’s Goodness

• What kinds of things should all of us being affirming more often?

• How is “affirmation” a tool for producing more joy?• What kind of future are you typically affirming as you go

through your day, speak with your spouse and interact with your kids?

• How might you think and speak differently if God were physically standing next to you, encouraging you?

• How often do your words to yourself and others indicate worry, doubt, fear and insecurity?

• In the next 48 hours, how could your thoughts, words and deeds better express your belief in God’s goodness?

25

26

27

28

29

30

Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s t w e n t y - f i v e - t h i r t y ]




Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s t h i r t y - o n e - t h i r t y - s i x ]

Motion Rules Emotion• Why is self-discipline a prerequisite to joy?• What are some of the ways we can override

unproductive emotions?• What is the difference between what we “can’t do” and

what we “won’t do” and why is this significant?• What does being “drunk with emotion” refer to and

what’s an example of this?• In what ways could you act your way into the

emotional life you desire?• What steps can you take in the next 48 hours to

elevate your mission above your mood?

You Are Good At Certain Stuff For A Reason• Why do you think that God gave us both strengths

and weaknesses?• What tends to happen when we focus our attention

on weakness-fixing more than strength-building?• What are the clues that reveal an area of talent or

potential strength?• What are some of your personal strengths and

weaknesses and how do they influence your day to day life?

• What are the strengths of your spouse or child or other loved one?

• What could you do in the next 48 hours to better emphasize and call attention to your strengths and the strengths of those around you?

What’s Your Goal?• Why is it that our lives generally move from thought

to emotion to action?• How does clarity about your future, or your life vision,

influence your decisions in the present?• Why are chronic negative emotions NOT part of God’s

will for your life?• In what ways do our life choices diminish or enhance

our potential for joy?• How do immoral decisions affect our emotional health?• How does “knowing your goal” increase your capability of responding productively in stressful situations?

The Master’s Mind• In what ways does negative thinking rob us of the joy

that God intended for us?• Why is it so much easier to be negative, pessimistic, and

cynical than it is to be positive, optimistic, and hopeful?• What are some of the “strings” attached to God’s gift

of joy?• How would you describe God’s character?• What are some ways to learn more about the mind of

God?• What does it mean to “take captive every thought in

obedience to Christ?”

God Will Be Cheering• What do you believe about God’s will for your life?• How does just “going through the motions” keep us

disconnected from our potential for joy?• What is your “true place”and what does it have to do

with living the joy-filled life?• What dream has God planted in your heart and what

are you doing about it?• What are some of the reasons “good Christian people”

never get around to fulfilling their potential, launching their dream, or finding their true place in life?

• How do you believe God has been cheering for you recently?

Own, Starve, Retreat• In what noticeable ways do most people just wing it

through life and what are the consequences of this approach?

• How does “owning our emotions” produce more joy and how does blaming others for our negative feelings smother joy?

• How much power are you willing to give others in your own emotional life?

• In what ways can reminding yourself of the big picture keep negative emotional spirals under control?

• What happens when we stop feeding negative emotions and how does this relate to the 4:8 principle?

• How can temporarily retreating from a negative situation be both positive and therapeutic?

31

32

33

34

35

36




The Mentalist• What is the simple power we all possess that allows us

to preview the future to some degree?• What is mental discipline and how is it necessary for

emotional discipline?• What are some examples of “mental laziness?”• How can distractions of all sorts pull our attention

away from what is lovely, pure, true, excellent, and worthy of praise?

• In what ways can you build your confidence by practicing the 4:8 principle?

• How might big, challenging goals help us stay more focused and full of joy?

Routine or Exceptional• What is the difference between routine and

exceptional gratitude?• What do exceptional gratitude and Philippians 4:8

have in common?• In what ways does your gratitude stand out?• How are you consistently appreciating the most

important people in your life?• What habits could you put in place to protect yourself

from gradually drifting from a being thankful to being entitled?

• Who could you direct some exceptional gratitude to in the next 48 hours?

Cut the Clutter• What comes to mind when you hear the word, “clutter?”• What affect does clutter have on the pursuit of joy?• What are some common examples of relationship

clutter and their likely influences on your joy?• What is the most significant action or task that you

have been procrastinating recently and what are you intending to do about it?

• What current things in your life burn the most energy but return the least reward?

• What single action (that you have yet to take) would most increase your peace of mind?

Occupy God Street• How does our experience of God influence our

experience of joy?• In what ways can you sustain God’s presence even in

the midst of difficult and painful circumstances?• What is the antidote to self-absorption and what does

it have to do with joy?• What does “contemplating God” look like and what

affect might it have on your joy?• What are some common ways that people

temporarily anesthetize their true longings, but which will never satisfy them in the long run?

• What have you done or could you do in the next 48 hours to amplify God’s presence inside your own mind?

Small Group Study Questions[ D a y s t h i r t y - s e v e n - f o r t y ]

37

38

39

40




Notes, Thoughts, & Inspiring Ideas


Available September 2013

Documents

Small Group Discussion Guide - tommynewberry.com€¦ · Small Group Discussion Guide. Your Joy Blesses Others! Think This, Not That • In what ways is feeding our bodies similar