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The Delusion of Romantic Self-Insight
Eli J. Finkel Paul W. Eastwick Northwestern University University of Texas
December 9, 2012
Modern Dating
Two Distinct Questions
Sex Differences? Self-Insight?
Sex Differences
• Large sex differences in stated prefs. – Physical attractiveness: Men more than women – Earning prospects: Women more than men
• Research paradigms – Reports on hypothetical partners – Attraction to people depicted in photographs – Personal ads and responses – Online dating profiles and responses
What about after men and women have met a potential partner face-to-face?
Speed-Dating
Dave
5
6
7
8
9
Physically Attractive Earning Prospects Personable
MenWomen
Impo
rtanc
e
Stated Mate Preferences
*
*
0.0
0.1
0.2
0.3
0.4
0.5
0.6
0.7
Physically Attractive Earning Prospects Personable
Men Women
Cor
rela
tion
with
Attr
actio
n
Actual Mate Preferences
“Come on, that’s just one study”
Meta-Analysis
• A specific person you’ve met face-to-face • DV: Romantic evaluation
– Romantic liking, attraction, satisfaction, commitment, trust, intimacy, love, passion
• IV: Measure of physical attractiveness, earning prospects, or both – Participant-report – Partner-report – Objective assessment
Meta-Analysis
• Physical attractiveness – 73 articles with a total of ~28,000 participants
• Earning prospects – 44 articles with a total of ~46,000 participants
Meta-Analysis
0.0
0.1
0.2
0.3
0.4
0.5
0.6
0.7
Physically Attractive Earning Prospects
Men Women
Cor
rela
tion
with
Rom
antic
Eva
l.
Self-Insight?
Ignoring sex differences, do people who believe they value a certain characteristic actually prize it more than others do?
2.0
3.0
4.0
5.0
6.0
7.0
Low Physical Attractiveness
High Physical Attractiveness
High Ideal Low Ideal
2.0
3.0
4.0
5.0
6.0
7.0
Low Earning Prospects
High Earning
Prospects
2.0
3.0
4.0
5.0
6.0
7.0
Low Personable
High Personable
2.0
3.0
4.0
5.0
6.0
7.0
Low Sugar High Sugar
Liki
ng fo
r cer
eal
Stated/Actual Correspondence
What about middle-aged people? And what if one is already in a relationship with the partner?
• Follow-up study: 502 Ps, average age = 41 • Procedure
– Intake: Romantically unattached Ps reported their mate preferences
– 2.5 years later: Reported on a current or a desired romantic partner
• DVs – Romantic interest – Marriage intentions – Marital status
Stated/Actual Correspondence
4.0
4.5
5.0
5.5
6.0
6.5
7.0
-1 SD Warm Mean Warm +1 SD Warm
Rom
antic
Eva
luat
ion High Ideal
Low Ideal
× 21
Stated/Actual Correspondence
Sex Differences? Self-Insight?
Conclusion
Conclusion
The Limits of Profile Browsing
Fin.
[email protected] faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/
The Delusion of Romantic Self-Insight
I like this guy!
He is attractive
I ideally want someone who is attractive
Mate Preferences
?
Jasmine
