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Using Humour in the English ClassroomUsing humour in the classroom to promote linguistic and intercultural

skills

Budapest, January 2012

SMILES AND SMILES AND MOREMORE

Geoff Tranter

Problems

# Some people allegedly have no sense of humour

# What is humour?

# Humour is not easy

# Humour is often based on common knowledge

# Humour often requires a wider repertoire

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# Improve vocabulary learning

# Extend lexical repertoire

# Practise grammatical structures

# Train reading comprehension

# Widen intercultural understanding

# Enhance language awareness

# Motivate learners

# Have fun

WHAT CAN WE DO WITH HUMOUR?

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# Not everybody has the same sense of

humour

# Risk of frustration

# Not many learners will expect to be

laughing in the classroom: “I came here to

learn English, not to have fun!”

BUT: REMEMBER!

Italian

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5

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Lecture : The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Funny Definitions Funny Definitions

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Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when he is dead.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from the Eiffel tower says midway "See, I am not injured yet."

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done together.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his

bills.

Funny Definitions Funny Definitions

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Atom Bomb

Boss

Classic

Conference Room

Dictionary

Diplomat

Divorce

Etc.

Experience

Father

# A banker provided by nature

# A book which people praise, but do not read.

# A person who tells you to go to hell in such a

way that you actually look forward to the trip.

# A place where success comes before work.

# A place where everybody talks, nobody listens

everybody disagrees later on.

# A sign to make others believe that you know

more than you actually do.

# An invention to end all inventions

# Future tense of marriage

# Someone who is early when you are late and late

when you are early.

# The name men give to their mistakes

Funny Definitions Funny Definitions

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B.A.M.Sc

H I J K L M N O

A B C D E

F G H I J

K M N O P

Q R S T U

V W X Y Z

A B C D E

F G H I J

L K M N O

P Q R S T

V W X Y Z

1111111

6.50 a.m.

CAJUSTSE

Droodles

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Droodles

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

ME

22222222 DAY

L

O

V

E

12.00 TCHMADEINA

teachers_____________

worked

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HEADLINES

Newspapers

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Dog for sale: eats

anything and is

fond of children.

Lost: small apricot

poodle. Reward.

Neutered. Like

one of the family.

For sale: an antique

desk suitable for

lady with thick legs

and large drawers.

Four-poster bed,

101 years old.

Perfect for antique

lover.

Get rid of aunts:

Zap does the job

in 24 hours.

Wanted:

Unmarried girls to

pick fresh fruit

and produce at

night.

Toaster: A gift that

every member of the

family appreciates.

Automatically burns

toast.

Tired of cleaning

yourself? Let me

do it.

Stock up and save.

Limit: one.

Man wanted to

work in dynamite

factory. Must be

willing to travel.

See ladies blouses.

50% off!

Illiterate? Write

today for free

help.

Man, honest. Will

take anything.

Wanted: Preparer

of food. Must be

dependable, like

the food business,

and be willing to

get hands dirty. Our bikinis are

exciting. They are

simply the tops.

Ladies and

gentlemen, now you

can have a bikini for

a ridiculous figure.

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SMALL ADS

1. AIR INDIA

2. ALITALIA

3. DELTA

4. EL AL

5. KLM

6. LOT

7. PIA

8. SABENA

9. TAP

10. TWA

After I r…… I’ll n…… do it a…….

Always l… in t… always l… in a… .

Don’t e…… luggage t…… a…… .

Every l……….. always l…….. .

Keeps l…… m…….

Lots o…… t……!

P…… in (the) a…… !

S…… a b…… experience – n…… again!

T…… another p…… .

The w…… a…… .

ACRONYMS

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Good pun

Great Depression

American Cheese

Express Mail

Friendly Fire

Peace force

Honest politician

Diet Muffin

Fair Fight

Literal Interpretation

Conservative Movement

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OXYMORONS

I am absolutely perfect.

I’m more concerned with the past.

I’m too concerned about other people to bother.

I’m all right nowoooooooooooooooooo!

I just put everything off till tomorrow.

we are all right now.

I know what that means.

I couldn’t care less.

I’m not focussed enough.

Ithink I’m too stupid.

I used to be apathetic but now

I used to be conceited, but now

I used to be omniscient, but now

I used to be quite self-critical, but now

I used to be inattentive, but now

I used to be nostalgic but now

I used to be paranoid, but now

I used to be a werewolf – but

I used to procrastinate all the time, but now

I used to be schizophrenic, but

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

I used to be able to finish everything I started but now …………. .

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GRAFFITI

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Knock, knock,Who’s there?Ken.Ken who?Ken I come in, please?

Knock, knock,Who’s there?Wayne.Wayne who?Wayne you gonna open the door?

Knock, knock,Who’s there?Mary.Mary who?Mary Christmas!

Knock, knock,Who’s there?Anna.Anna who?Anna Happy New Year.

Knock, knock,Who’s there?Ida.Ida who?It’s not Ida who, it’s Idaho!

Knock, knock,Who’s there?Ella Mann.Ella Mann who?Ella Mann Tree, my dear Watson.

KNOCK, KNOCK!

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Who wrote …

The Post-Script The Local Magistrate,

The Wrong Trousers A Winter´s Wind

Disengaged Restoring Old furniture

Aching Legs Looking Forward to Xmas

How to Avoid Arguments

Xavier Breath – Felix I. Cited - Carrie M. HolmeAnne Teake - Lou M.T. Nowe - I.C.Blast –

Titus Canbee - Lady Lordowne - Adeline Extra

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AUTHORS

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AUTHORS

Waitress: "Why, mister, you must be hungry."Customer: "Yes, I am. And I can't remain here long, either. When

is lunch going to be ready?"Waitress: "I'll rush a table. What are you gonna have? Do you want eggs?"Customer: "You want to bet?. I prefer turkey. Would you make the cook step

on the gas a bit, please?"Waitress: "Oh, that's a laugh! I'll ask her, but you'll hear her wails."Customer: "Put a cube of sugar in my tea."Waitress: "Don't be silly. Sweeten it myself. I'm only here to serve you."Customer: "Then mark my check, and call the boss for us. There's an error.

I don't believe you know who I am."Waitress: "I don't care a bean. You sure are a rat!"Customer: "Some more of my jokes? What got into you? Do you think this

helps business? Why do so chilly? Be nice!"Waitress: “Don't give me that! Pay my cheque and don't you wait. I'll be

seeing you!"

Geography

Geoff Tranter

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Blackberry

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1. A blushing crow

2. I must mend the sail.

3. You’ve tasted two worms.

4. It crawls through the fax.

5. Fighting a liar.

6. Know your blows.

7. Go and shake a tower.

8. Mad banners.

9. A lack of pies.

10. It’s roaring with pain.

SPOONERISMS

1. A crushing blow

2. I must send the mail.

3. You’ve wasted two terms.

4. It falls through the cracks.

5. Lighting a fire.

6. Blow your nose.

7. Go and take a shower.

8. Bad manners.

9. A pack of lies.

10. It’s pouring with rain.

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SPOONERISMS SMILES AND MORE

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1. How does the Pope fly?2. What do you get if you dial 666?3. What’s 300 metres tall, weighs

7,620 tonnes and attracts bees?4. What’s a hippie?5. What’s an American cow called?6. What’s an army?7. What’s an Eskimo cow called?8. What’s got long hair and weighs

about two tonnes?9. What’s Tarzan’s favourite carol?10. What’s the best day to cook

bacon and eggs?11. What’s the national anthem of

the jungle?12. What’s yellow, has twenty-two

legs and two wings?

a) A Chinese football team.

b) A hippie-potamus.

c) A Moo Yorker.

d) An Eski-moo.

e) Fry-day.

f) Jungle Bells.

g) Tarzan Stripes Forever.

h) The Eiffel Flower.

i) The Australian police.

j) The thing your leggies

hang down from.

k) The thingy up your sleevy.

l) With a holy-copter.

RIDDLES

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telc GmbH 22

Qatar Please do not use the lift when it is not working. Paris Please leave your values at the front desk.Bucharest The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time

we regret that you will be unbearable.Ethiopia To call room service, please to open door and call

Room Service. Please call quiet, people may sleep.Las Palmas If you telephone for room service you will get the

service you deserve.Amsterdam Telephone instructions can be found on the backside. Rome Please dial 7 to retrieve your auto from the garbage.Hamburg It is our intention to pleasure you every day.Tokyo Guests are requested not to smoke or do other

disgusting behaviours in bed.Tel Aviv If you wish breakfast, lift the telephone and our

waitress will arrive. This will be enough to bring up your food.

HOTEL SIGNS

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Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a great chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 P.M. Please use the back door.

Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary.

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CHURCH MESSAGES

Heathrow No electric people carrying vehicles past this point.

UK Was there a particular member of staff who made your stay memorable?

London All fire extinguishers must be examined at least five days before any fire.

Australia If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Geoff Tranter

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NATIVE SPEAKER SIGNS

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Heaven is where:

# the cooks are from ……

# the police are from ……

# the footballers are from …

# the car mechanics are from …..

# the lovers are from …..

# the financial advisors are from ….

# the soldiers are from …….

# politicians are from …..

# the beer brewers are from ….

# the managers are from ….

# the coffee is from …..

# the comedians are from….

Heaven is where:Britain

Germany

France

Switzerland

Italy

Poland

Belgium

the USA

Spain

Russia

China

Hungary

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HEAVEN AND HELL

Hell is where:

# the cooks are from ……

# the police are from ……

# the footballers are from …

# the car mechanics are from …..

# the lovers are from …..

# the financial advisors are from ….

# the soldiers are from …….

# politicians are from …..

# the beer brewers are from ….

# the managers are from ….

# the coffee is from …..

# the comedians are from….

Hell is where:Britain

Germany

France

Switzerland

Italy

Poland

Belgium

the USA

Spain

Russia

China

Hungary

Europe

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HEAVEN AND HELL

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Patient: Doctor, doctor: I keep thinking I’m a clock.Doctor: Don‘t get wound up about it!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.Doctor: Well sit down and write your name!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming about horses! Doctor: Are they nightmares?

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will I be able to do the tango after the operation?Doctor: No, you'll have to wait until you go home.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, nobody takes me seriously.Doctor: That can’t be true!!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, how do I avoid that run-down feeling? Doctor: Look both ways before crossing the road.

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RUNNING GAGS

telc GmbH28

Waiter, waiter, Have you got frogs legs?Yes sir!Well hop over here with a menu.

Waiter, how long have you been here?Six months, sir.Ah, then, it can't be you who took my order.

Waiter, I can't eat this!Why not sir?You haven't given me a knife and fork.

Waiter, my bill please.How did you find your steak, sir?With a magnifying glass.

Waiter, bring me a fried egg with finger-marks in it, some luke-warm greasy chips and a portion of watery cabbage.We don't do food like that, sir!You did yesterday.

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RUNNING GAGS

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# Improve vocabulary learning

# Extend lexical repertoire

# Practise grammatical structures

# Train reading comprehension

# Widen intercultural understanding

# Enhance language awareness

# Motivate learners

# Have fun

WHAT CAN WE DO WITH HUMOUR?

SMILES AND MORE

Contents

1. Definitions

+ Droodles.

+ Funny Definitions

+ Proverbs and Idioms

+ PC Language.

+ Murphy’s Law.

+ Oxymorons

2. Playing with Words

+ Tom Swiftly

+ They Never Die

Authors

3. Classic Native-Speaker Mistakes

+ Spoonerisms

+ Malapropisms

+ Howlers.

+ Letters

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4. Graffiti and Street Culture

+ Who Rules?

+ I used to be

+ One-liners.

+ Rhyming Slang

+ Bingo

5. Newspapers and Newsletters

+ Headlines

+ Short News Reports

+ Church News

+ Small Ads

6. Running Gags

+ Waiter, Waiter.

+ Doctor, Doctor

+ Knock, Knock

+ I say.

7. Signs and Instructions

+ English Signs.

+ International Tourism Signs

+ Church Signs

+ Warnings

+ Names, Shops and Professions

8. Miscellaneous

+ Anagrams.

+ Tongue Twisters

+ Heaven and Hell

+ The Thinnest Books in the World.

+ Homophones.

+ Limericks

+ Language Learning

ISBN 978-3-12-534645-1

That‘s a Fun(ny) Way to Teach and Learn English

www.klett.de

geofftranter@yahoo.co.uk