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Skagit Island SHRM
December 8, 2011
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Presented by:
Carol Bowser
Conflict Management Strategies, Inc.
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
What No One Taught You about Workplace Communication
(But Expects You to Know)
Goals
LearnInteractLaughAction Plan
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Communication Styles
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
•What they are•Why they are important•How to leverage
Communication Styles
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINESHINTS
STORIES
Determining YOUR Style
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINES
• Short sentences-newspaper headline
• No chit-chat• Bullet points• Quick interactions
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
“The bottom line is….”“The headline is….”“What is your point?”“I need….”I
HEADLINES
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTS
• Questions instead of statements• Requests instead of demands• Ask what you think first
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTS
• “So what do you think?”• “What would you like to do?”
“Would it be possible to ….?”• “That’s interesting.”
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLER
• Who, what, where, when, how much, how long, what they ate, what they said, how long it took, what they wore, the weather…
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLER
Favorite phrases of storytellers:•“Did you hear?”“Let me tell you about….”•“You know Bob who…?”
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Practice Exercise
• What I did on my summer vacation?
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Why Styles are Important
Clashing Styles=
Frustration, Blame and Irritation=
Impeded Career Advancement
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINERS
HINTERS
Annoying Manipulative Passive-Aggressive Unable to make
decisions
STORYTELLERS
Pointless Rambling Wasting Time Ugh!
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTERS
HEADLINERS
Abrupt Rude Doesn’t Listen Aggressive
STORYTELLERS
Self-Centered Time Wasting When Can I Talk?
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLERS
HEADLINERS
Doesn’t Listen Interrupts Aggressive Impatient
HINTERS
Poor Direction Confusing Vague Wishy-Washy
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
The Pinball Machine
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Why Should You Care?
ReputationRespectRelief
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Your Style
Other’s Style
Catalysts of Change
Strategies- Level 1
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 2- Adaptation
Imaginary Conversation Practice on Friends and
Family (don’t tell) Use with Colleagues
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 3-Translation
• Notice• Taking Action• Involving Others
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 3-Translation
Examples:Hinter Headliner:“What Mary needs to hear is….”
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 3-Translation
Storyteller Hinter“How do you think people might respond to….”
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 3-Translation
Headliner Storyteller “Jan might need a little more background so that she can better understand the task. Tell her more about….”
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
• Link back to goals of why is this important?•Reputation, Respect and Relief
Know-Adapt-Succeed
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
THANK YOU!!
Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
www.ManagingConflict.com
CarolNBowser
Carol Bowser
Blog: The Workplace Conflict Expert
Says
