Six Years Six Applicants

7/31/2019 Six Years Six Applicants

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many of the dark creatures he'll be teaching about. In all honestly, this will probablybe his last year at Hogwarts regardless of if I give him the position, so why not throwhim a bone?"

"Why not throwm e a bone?" Severus retorted. "I've been here ten years now."

"Because Quirrell isn't vital to Harry's protection once he enters the magical worldand you are not on the verge of a mental breakdown," Albus responded patiently.

"Want to bet?" Severus muttered.

"Now, if that's all, I believe our interview is concluded. I'll let you know about theposition just as soon as I-"

"Hire Quirrell. I get it," Severus sighed and headed for the door. Once he reached it,he paused and turned back around. "I'll be back, you know."

"I'm counting on it," Albus told him. "Next."

Pale and twitching, Quirinus Quirrell entered Albus's office. He was wearing a largepurple turban that Albus couldn't help but stare at. Honestly, it looked ridiculous.Not that he was one to judge, of course, but still, it was twice the size of his head.

"Y-you're certain that it would be a-a-alright for m-me to t-take this p-p-p-p-position?" Quirrell stuttered. Now, Quirrell had been a member of the staff for thepast five years, but he was always so reclusive that he and Albus had neverestablished a first name basis. Now, with his imminent mental breakdown and flightfrom the castle at the end of the year, it was likely they never would.

"Of course," Albus assured him. "Charity Burbage has recently returned from her twoyear stint living as a Muggle and has applied for your position. If you qualify to teachDefense Against the Dark Arts, then I'll hire her so it really isn't very inconveniencingto simply move you around from one subject to another."

"I heard that S-Severus also c-came here to ap-p-p-ly," Quirrell said, lookingabsolutely terrified. Really, Albus would have to have a talk with Severus about notterrorizing already traumatized colleagues. Obviously, it should go without saying,

but Severus often needed to have social niceties like that spelled out for him. Not thathe didn't understand them, of course; he just didn't feel the need to comply withthem unless Albus specifically ordered him to. Albus usually didn't resort to forcingSeverus to be nice, but it wouldn't do for him to have to find a new DADA professor

before the year ended, now would it?

"Don't worry about Severus; he applies every year," Albus assured him.

That sparked Quirrell's interest. "R-Really? Now w-why w-would that b-be?"

Albus shrugged. "I'm not sure, really. I think it's more a matter of principle now

rather than actually expecting to get the job anytime soon."


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"I s-see," Quirrell said, looking doubtful.

"Let's talk about you. What are your qualifications for teaching Defense Against theDark Arts?" Albus quickly segued into more neutral ground.

"W-well, I've been a p-professor for four years. L-last year, I t-traveled the w-worldand encountered m-many f-fascinating dark c-creatures and m-managed to rid s-several villages of their l-local m-magical m-menaces," Quirrell said proudly. It wasrather odd to hear some stuttering proudly, but there it was.

"Is that where you got the turban?" Albus asked, hoping he came across as merelypolitely interested rather than trying to contain his mirth. He often had difficultydoing that when confronted with other, younger wizards absurdity. He was told, infact, that he perpetually had an air of grandfatherly amusement on his face. That wasquite useful, really, as no one ever noticed that he was secretly laughing at them ifthat was his usual attitude.

"W-why, yes, yes it i-is," Quirrell stammered, pleased. "It w-was a g-gift, actually,from an African p-prince for w-warding off a p-p-particularly t-troublesome zombie."

"Oh?" Albus asked, intrigued. "What happened?"

Quirrell looked away. "I-I'd rather n-not t-talk about it if you d-don't m-mind. B-badm-memories." The more nervous Quirrell was, apparently, the worse hisstammering.

"Of course," Albus said soothingly. THIS was his candidate to teach this year? Once

Severus spent some time in Quirrell's company, he was going to kill him. Ah well,he'd rather die at Severus's hand than Tom's any day. Normally, Albus wouldn't evenentertain thoughts of giving Quirrell the position when he so obviously needed agood deal of therapy. On the other hand, it was just one more year, how muchdamage could nine little months do? And it wasn't like he had anyone but Severusgunning for the position.

"I think I've heard enough," Albus forced a smile. "Congratulations, Quirrell."

Quirrell promptly fainted.


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"And I was right, wasn't I? I knew that a studentI knew that POTTER wouldn't beable to resist," Severus said triumphantly.

"To be fair, it wasn't rampant curiosity, it was his desire to protect the Stone fromQuirrell," Albus was quick to defend his favorite student.

Severus actually rolled his eyes at the Headmaster. "And how do you think he foundout about it in the first place? Rampant curiosity. And if that boy wasn't so arrogant,he would have realized that first years are not supposed to go chasing after DarkLords or possessed professors, they are supposed to tell responsible adults and makethem listen . For that matter, they are supposed to have enough faith in the greatest

wizard of our time to trust that the Stone would not be so shoddily guarded that bybypassing some rudimentary obstacles, a thief could get their hands on it. The Stonewould have been in less danger if Potter could have left well enough alone," Severussaid bitterly.

Severus and Harry had not exactly hit it off over the course of the year, but at leastHarry didn't feel the need to complain about Severus every time he turned around.Or, at least not to Albus.

"Yes, yes," Albus waved Severus's concerns away. "However, you have to rememberhe is still only a child and has much to learn about our world. Given time, I'm surehe'll learn to trust and seek out responsible adults when he needs to instead ofcharging in foolhardily and getting someone killed."

Severus snorted in a way that showed that he seriously doubted that.

"But that's not why you're here, is it? You've come to apply for the position ofDefense Against the Dark Arts Professor for the," Albus checked his notes. "Eleventhtime, correct?"

"Indeed," Severus sobered instantly.

"Harry will only be a second year next year and so he will still need five more years ofprotection that you will not be able to give him if you are unceremoniously cast fromthe castle as per the DADA curse," Albus said calmly.

Severus twitched. "I've already told you how you can get around the curse but I seethat once again you refuse to listen to anyone who isn't in their triple digits. And isthere any reason you're refusing to give me this job that doesn't involve HarryPotter?"

Albus chose to ignore the first part of Severus's statement for two reasons: He had toquickly come up with another reason he wouldn't give Severus the job and the manalso happened to be right. "Of course there is!" he exclaimed, sounding shocked.

Severus raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Such as?"

"I need to protect you from the Dark Lord and his followers. Now that you'veturned-"


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"The Dark Lord is in Alban ia and I'm fairly certain he has bigger things to worryabout than me. Additionally, half of Britain is already convinced that I still supportthe Dark Lord, so I think I'm safe now, eleven years after the Dark Lord's fall,"Severus remarked dryly.

"You can never be too careful," Albus said cheerfully.

"Yes, Albus, yes you can," Severus disagreed. "You've been at least six years toocareful, if you ask me."

"And while the magical populace has come to accept a rather substandard anduneven education in Defense Against the Dark Arts due to curses beyond our control,Potions Masters of your caliber are few and far between. I will not sacrifice thePotions education of any Hogwarts student by providing them with a less than ideallearning environment and instructor," Albus declared nobly.

"Would 'a teacher who deeply loathes children' and 'having Gryffindors andSlytherins in the same class who attempt to murder each other by sabotaging theother House's cauldrons' count as a less than ideal learning environment?" Severusasked innocently.

"In any case, who would I hire?" Albus asked rhetorically, certain that Severus wasexaggerating. Honestly, the man was brilliant but always had such a flair for thedramatic.

Severus started coughing something that sounded strangely like 'Horace Slughorn.'

"There is Horace, of course, but he's retired he enjoys that far too much to bepersuaded back easily," Albus said sighing. "No, there really is no one who canreplace you. You're just too valuable to lose right now."

"While I would normally be flattered," Severus said wryly. "I can't help but think thatyou're just making excuses."

"Severus, please, think of the curse," Albus entreated.

"Why haven't you gotten around to removing that curse yet?" Severus continued. "Imean, you're the most powerful wizard alive and the curse has been along for howlong now? Over thirty years, at least."

"NEXT!" Albus called out quickly.

Swaggering in, a confident grin firmly in place, came Gilderoy Lockhart.

"You have got to be kidding me," Severus said incredulously. He rubbed his eyes.Lockhart was still standing there. "Gilderoy Lockhart? Honestly? First the Dark Lordand now this? Do you hate me, Albus? Is that it?"

"I see you've heard of me," Lockhart beamed. "Of course you have, I'm quite famousyou know. Not to mention popular with the ladies." The applicant actually WINKED


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at them. Albus was beginning to get a really bad feeling about this. "You know,"Lockhart continued, eyeing Severus critically. "I could recommend a brand ofshampoo for you. Or ten. In fact, if you wait right here, I can go get some right now-"

"That's quite alright," Severus said, struggling to contain himself and heading for the

door. "I'll just be going. If I don't show up for dinner, know that I've finally takenMadame Maxine up on her offer to teach Defense Against Dark Arts at Beauxbatons."

Sighing slightly at Severus's theatrics, Albus turned his attention back towards theblonde man in front of him who's greatest achievement to date as he delighted inreminding everyone was winning Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award.Still, he couldn't possibly be any worse than a professor who was secretly possessed

by Voldemort and more concerned with killing Harry Potter, killing unicorns, andstealing the Philosopher's Stone than teaching and so Albus was willing to give him ashot. Besides, he was the only one who had applied. Thank goodness Charity Burbagehad been satisfied with her position and he wouldn't have to go hunting for a new

Muggle Studies professor as well. Although strangely, he never had any shortage ofMuggleborn applicants eager to open students eyes to the Muggle World.

"Strange fellow," Lockhart remarked casually. "Rather surly. And once I finish thatline of hair-care products I'm working on, I'll make sure to give him a lifetime supply.Seriously, that much greasiness" he trailed off, sounding pained.

"Yes, well, Severus spends a lot of time around potions fumes and that really isn'tconducive to hair like yours," Albus replied, wondering why in the world they weretalking about Severus's hair at a staffing interview. It really was quite bizarre, but atleast Lockhart hadn't started in on his hair and how he should get a haircut, which

Minerva occasionally nagged him about. "What are your qualifications for teachingDefense Against the Dark Arts?"

"I was hoping you would ask me that," Lockhart said. "I've taken on banshees,ghouls, hags, trolls, vampires, werewolves, and yeti. I've managed to becomeincredibly rich and famous, but I think I've still kept my head on the ground.Basically, I'm just an ordinary if incredibly handsome and talented man and Ithink I can really reach these kids. Besides, I need time to write my newest book,Dealing With Dragons, and this will give me an excellent opportunity to sit down and

write it out."

"Teaching at Hogwarts is a full-time responsibility," Albus told him seriously. "Inaddition to teaching classes, filling in for sick or incapacitated faculty, gradingcopious amounts of homework and class work, patrolling the halls, and handling theoccasional detention, you never know what life will throw your way and so you mustalways be prepared for anything."

Lockhart nodded. "I understand that, but surely nine months is enough time for meto write one little book, particularly if I use a Quick-Quotes Quill."

"Those are illegal," Albus said sternly, ever the head of the Wizengamot.


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"Only for interviews," Lockhart waved his concerns off. "Now, not to be rude, butcould we please hurry this up? I've got a hair appointment in fifteen minutes."

"Of course. Now, while I'm not quite satisfied you fully understand what a huge timecommitment this post is, I'm sure you'll learn in time. Welcome aboard, Gilderoy."

Lockhart looked mildly surprised that Albus had been considering NOT giving himthe job and a little offended.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk my Potions Professor out of defecting toFrance," Albus said, walking his newest professor to the door.

Lockhart shuddered. "By all means. Oh, and give him my card, will you? Seriously,it's only a prototype right now, but it will do wonders for him, I'm sure."

Making a mental note to never, ever bring up Lockhart's obvious and somewhat

disturbing desire to give his new colleague a makeover, he went off to find the man.At this rate he was beginning to think it would just be easier to risk the curse andsimply hire Severus.


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Y e a r T h r e e

"I thought that this year, as a nice change of pace, you might want to actually hire acompetent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. And maybe one who isn'tpossessed, if you're really ambitious," Severus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.Once again, Albus was conducting last-minute staffing interviews for one of the most

vital and yet poorly-taught subjects at Hogwarts. And once more Severus was usinghis valuable interview time to complain about Albus's previous choices. Someonereally ought to tell the man that badmouthing the competition works better BEFOREthey leave the job.

"I'll admit, the last two candidates have been" Albus paused, searching for the rightword. He finally settled on, "Less than idea."

Severus snorted. "That's an understatement if I've ever heard one. And it hasn't justbeen the past two years; it's been all twelve years I've been teaching. Not to mentionsome of the Professors employed when I was a student" he trailed off, clearlyreminiscing.

"There was nothing wrong with-" Albus began.

"You hired a Veela my fifth year, Albus," Severus cut in. "Just try to tell me that that'sconducive to hormonal teenage boys' learning anything?"

"I never noticed a problem," Albus said stiffly.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course you didn't; you're immune to not only Veela butpractically the entire female population. I'm starting to think that you're asexual."

Or he could be gay, of course, but no need to bring that up. Just let them all think hewas too old for that kind of thing. "It's not easy to fill this position, you know," Albuschanged the subject.

"I realize that. However, I've been right here dropping anvil-sized hints aboutwanting the post since you hired me," Severus pointed out.

"My dear Severus," Albus said soothingly. "I couldn't possibly aff-"

"Afford to lose me, I know," Severus said wryly. "Out of curiosity, have you even triedto locate Slughorn?"

"I've been too busy persuading my newest applicant to show up today for a cursoryinterview," Albus defended.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "For an entire year? Was he hiding from you orsomething?"


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Sighing theatrically, Severus amended, "I'm not saying anything against Squibs, butperhaps they would be better suited NOT teaching subjects that rely heavily on wandusage. The only spell we know that he was proficient in was Obliviate and look wherethat got him."

"It almost wouldn't be so bad if he had only taught the children that spell," Albusmused. "Still, I suppose that would seem too suspicious."

"While I disagree that it would be a good thing for a castle-full of teenagers to allsuddenly be able to erase each others' memories," Severus said, no doubt envisioningseveral scenarios that would inevitably occur if the Obliviate spell became

widespread. "I have to point out that of course he didn't teach them anything: he wastoo busy trying to indoctrinate them into the Cult of Lockhart. Boys, girls, the man isnot picky. He just wants universal adoration and didn't seem to realize that hecouldn't possibly get the students to purchase more of his books because all of thempossessed a full set already thanks to the power he had over the curriculum."

"Yes, well, perhaps Lockhart was a tad bit overly concerned with his fame, but thatreally couldn't be helped. I simply had no time to impress upon him the importanceof being a teacher in between all of his tutoring of the other professors-" At thisSeverus shuddered, but Albus continued on, "his petitioning for the formation of adueling club, the attacks, Hagrid getting arrested, and my getting suspended."

"Maybe this can be a lesson in 'paying more attention to your DADA Professor of theyear'?" Severus suggested.

"Maybe I can do that by Harry's fifth year," Albus said dubiously. "I've got far too

much to do in the meantime."

Severus groaned at yet more proof that the Headmaster was running the schoolaccording to Harry Potter's special needs. "Next year is the Triwizard Tournament soI can understand that, but what about this year?"

"Sirius Black just escaped from Azkaban about an hour ago," Albus informed Severustentatively, awaiting the inevitable explosion.

"WHAT?" Severus screeched.

Three hours later, it was time for the next interview and Severus had not yet calmeddown. "Of course he would pull something like this. He's a bloody psychopath!Remember when he tried to kill me because I was annoying him? When he wassixteen? He was always going to go dark and now he's up and escaped Azkaban-YOU !"

Albus who had been examining a magazine of Muggle knitting patterns lookedup at Severus's strange greeting. Ah, Remus had arrived.

"Severus," Remus said neutrally. It really was fortunate that the most diplomatic of

the Marauders was the only one to remain, Albus reflected. Particularly whenSeverus was on the staff and still holding grudges.


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"What areyou doing here, Lupin?" Severus spat.

"I've come to apply for a job," Remus said, looking as if he thought that were veryobvious and Severus really should have worked that one out on his own. That wastrue, but in the man's defense, he had yet to recover from the shock of hearing that

the person he hated more than anyone else had just done the impossible and was onthe lose and probably going to attempt to kill Harry.

Gaping wordlessly, Severus turned to Albus. "YouBlack JUST escaped and youthought it was a good idea to hire his werewolf accomplice?"

"Sirius escaped?" Remus asked, looking startled.

After shooting Severus a dirty look, Albus sighed heavily and attempted to reassureRemus. He hadn't wanted him to know until after he signed the contract. "Yes, it'strue. Sirius Black escaped Azkaban four hours ago."

"I can understand if my being employed at Hogwarts will compromise-" Remusbegan self-deprecatingly while looking longingly at the door.

"NO!" Albus all but shouted. He cleared his throat. "Don't you see? Now we need youmore than ever to protect Harry. Surely you wouldn't walk away and leave a young,innocent thirteen-year-old boy who also happens to be all that you have left of two of

your closest friends to Black's mercy?" he asked innocently.

"I guess not," Remus agreed grudgingly.

"What are your qualifications for teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Albuscontinued smoothly.

"There are qualifications?" Remus asked bemused. "In that case, I don't know whatI'm doing here as I have absolutely none."

"Surely you must have some-" Albus began.

"Nope, none."

"Well there you go, Headmaster. Even Lupin thinks this is a bad idea. Although thatnever seemed to stop him back when we were in school-"

"It was we graduated over fifteen years ago, Severus, let it go," Remus snapped.

"Never!" Severus vowed.

"What about at Hogwarts?" Albus suggested. "You were a prefect for three years andgraduated at the top of your class."

"That was such a long time ago; I've probably forgotten everything," Remus said

miserably.


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"I'm sure that's not true," Albus reassured him, pointedly ignoring Severus'ssuspicious coughing fit. It was almost as if he were saying 'yes it is' "You've always

been very driven and I have no doubt that you can catch up on whatever you need toin the next month before school starts and that you'll be a great success. Especially,as Severus delights in reminding me, in light of my last two DADA teachers."

"I don't know, Headmaster," Remus said doubtfully. "I'm still not sure that I evenwant the job."

"What about Harry?" Albus pulled the almost-godson card.

"I'm sure you can provide more than adequate protection for him," Remus replied.

"Don't you want a chance to meet him?"

Remus wavered for a moment but then shook his head. "I think the memories would

be too much for me, especially this year, with Sirius on the loose."

"Severus has promised to brew Wolfsbane Potion for you every month," Albus triedagain, beginning to get desperate.

"You have?" Remus looked curiously at Severus, who glowered back. "Wellsincethis is last minute and I'm sure you don't have time to go and find someone elseIguess I'll do it."

Albus grinned broadly. "Excellent. I'll have one of the House Elves show you to yourquarters."

Before he could open his mouth, Severus, who had been standing frozen in horror,snapped out of it and stormed towards the door. "We are no longer speaking," heinformed Albus dramatically.

That went well.


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Y e a r Fo u r

"I told you, didn't I?" Severus drawled, strolling into Albus's office to apply yet againfor the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. He had forgiven Albus forhiring Remus for the most part but it had taken until a week after school startedfor Severus to relent and cease his childish silent treatment.

"You told me what?" Albus asked absentmindedly. "Is this your way of telling me thatyou're applying for the thirteenth time?"

Severus nodded. "Naturally. And I'll keep applying until you either die or give me theposition, whichever comes first."

"Why will you stop applying once I'm dead?" Albus asked, genuinely curious. "Do younot really want the job and worry that someone else might actually give it to you?"

"Of course I really want the job," Severus scoffed. "It's just that Minerva will be yourreplacement and since she's known me since I started and you have often regaled her

with tales of my epic quest to obtain my desired position, I don't really think she'llneed an interview. Either she'll trust my teaching abilities or she'll want me gonefrom the castle and can't outright fire me because of tenure and hopes giving me theDADA contract will do her work for her."

"That would be completely unethical," Albus said, pretending to be shocked and

appalled.

Severus snorted. "Like you haven't done it at least four times that I've worked here.Hell, you even did it with Quirrell. And quit distracting me!"

"I'm not distracting you," Albus said innocently. "And I resent these wildaccusations."

If he was hoping to continue distracting Severus which, of course, he was then hefailed for Severus's next words were, "I want you to admit that I was right aboutLupin."

"I don't believe that you were," Albus said stiffly.

"I TOLD you that he was helping Black and I was right, wasn't I?" Severus pressed."All this time, you're Golden Boy Gryffindors who got away with attempted murder

were just as dark as I was. You still can't admit that, can you?"

"Remus assured me that he had no idea that Sirius was innocent until the night thatHarry and his two friends stumbled across them," Albus said, in a tone that clearly

warned him not to argue.


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Severus rolled his eyes but did not press the point. "Why does everyone keepthrowing around words like 'innocent'? Black, whatever else he may be, is certainlynot innocent."

"Do you still refuse to believe that Pettigrew is alive?" Albus asked, sighing tiredly.

Severus could be so stubborn sometimes.

To his surprise, Severus waved his hand dismissively. "At this point, I don't eventhink it matters. Betraying Lily, while an unforgivable crime that ought to bepunished by a lifetime of being surrounded by Dementors culminating with a Kiss, isnot technically illegal. Probably because she was Muggleborn. What Black WAS in

jail for was killing twelve Muggles and Pettigrew. Regardless of whether or notPettigrew is alive, there are still twelve dead Muggles to be accounted for."

"Ah, but Severus don't you see?" Albus leaned forward earnestly. He had to makeSeverus understand what had happened! Then, maybe, the old Marauder-Snape

grudge could be put to rest, twelve years after the Marauders'disbanding, for lack ofa better word.

"See what?" Severus asked blandly, clearly regretting bringing Black up now that itlooked like it would only result in yet more blatant favoritism for anyone in the LionHouse. Really, he was beginning to think that most important qualification forHeadmaster would be to have not attended Hogwarts themselves and thus beimmune from House prejudices. Unlike certain people who had graduated at leastacentury ago and still seemed to think that he was the Gryffindor Head of House.

"Pettigrew is alive and so when he shouted that Sirius betrayed the Potters, he must

have been covering for the fact that he did and when we all thought Sirius blew upthat street full of Muggles, it must have been Pettigrew! Why else would he have cutoff his finger and lived for twelve years as a rat?" Albus asked rhetorically.

"I'll give you the 'betrayed Lily' point," Severus said slowly, refusing even now toacknowledge James's death as anything tragic. "And fear of retribution by the DarkLord's followers led him to hide although really you'd think he'd just leave thecountry and employ some glamour, I guess it just goes to show that he always was anabsolute moron but that doesn't necessarily mean he killed those Muggles. I mean,honestly, Headmaster. Pretend Black was an, I don't know, Ravenclaw. OrHufflepuff. You know, a house that people are capable of viewing objectively. Would

you honestly put it past him to become so enraged at the loss of Lily that he wouldblow up an entire street to try and kill one person? I know I wouldn't."

"Sirius assured me that he did no such thing," Albus said shortly.

Severus rolled his eyes again. "Oh, well if BLACK says it didn't happen, then it mu s t be so."

"Let's not quibble about Sirius's trustworthiness, shall we?" Albus suggested, sensingthat if he didn't put an end to it, Severus would gladly rant about Sirius all night.


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"Fine," Severus said curtly. "Let's 'quibble' about the ethics of manipulating twothirteen-year-olds to break an escaped and dangerous, possibly unbalanced, convictout of Ministry Custody instead."

"I did no such thing," Albus lied virtuously.

"Everyone knows you did," Severus scoffed. He paused, considering. "Well, everyoneexcept Fudge. But then, he always was a bit of an idiot."

"Within five minutes of noticing Black's escape, you came thundering into theHospital Wing upsetting Poppy terribly and accused young Harry of somehowengineering Sirius's escape despite the fact that Poppy was keeping an eye on them atall times except for the ten minutes or so when I was with them. I assure you; I didnot let them out of my sight when I left."

"That's very nice, of course, and quite plausible, too," Severus conceded. "If you

didn't happen to know that Miss Granger was in possession of a bloody Time Turnerthis bloody entire year!"

"That's quite farfetched, Severus. Why would Miss Granger and Harry risk their livesto spring a man they had only met hours earlier?" Albus asked reasonably.

"Because they don't have any common sense!" Severus practically shouted. He closedhis eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. "And why didn't you just demandBlack received a trial if it's that important to you?"

"I can't just go about demanding people receive trials, Severus. It's not my place,"

Albus demurred.

"Of course you can. You're Albus Bloody Dumbledore! And what's more, you're theHead of the Wizengamot. You can decide who lives and who dies," Severus saidcrossing his arms. "It's because of Potter, isn't it?"

Albus nearly choked. "Harry?"

"Yes, Potter. If Black were pardoned, as the boy's legal godfather, he would haveclaim to him and then your precious blood wards would be useless as no politician

would ever leave the Boy-Who-Lived with Muggles when they could send him to aPureblood instead. Even if said Pureblood is a convicted criminal." Severus said'Pureblood' like it was a curse word.

"He's not convicted, he hasn't had a trial," Albus corrected automatically. WhenSeverus raised an eyebrow pointedly, he quickly racked his brains trying to come up

with a reason that would satisfy Severus. Fortunately for him, however, that wasright about when his next applicant came in. "Come in!" he called, trying not tosound too relieved.

Looking grizzled and as paranoid as ever, Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody entered his

office. "I don't see why I have to interview for the position," he grumbled. "Seeing ashow I'm only taking it as a favor to you."


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Albus could literally feel the heat of Severus's glare at that. He coughed. "Yes, well,have to make it official for the Board of Governors and whatnot."

"Don't know why you even need to call me in. I just retired last week, you know.Besides, that fellow looks like he's keen enough for the job." Alastor cocked his head

to the side and peered intently at Severus. "He might even be willing to kill for it."

Severus was beginning to look distinctly uncomfortable under the ex-Auror'sscrutiny.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for his replacement," Albus saidapologetically. "Potions Masters are hard to come by these days."

"If you're asking about Slughorn," Alastor began gruffly. "He's in Manchester. I hadlunch with him Tuesday."

And now there glare was back.

"I see," Albus said delicately. "Well, no doubt he will have moved on by now."

"Actually, I think-" Alastor started to say.

"Please don't trouble yourself over my little staffing problem," Albus entreatedearnestly. "Severus has already declared that he will continue to apply unfailinglyuntil I die, so that may very well be another twenty years or so. Plenty of time tolocate someone."

Oh, if looks could kill. Well, non-Basilisk looks, that is.

"What are your qualifications for teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Albusinquired.

"I was an Auror until four days ago, I've been in more combat situations then yourstudents can even begin to comprehend, and half of the cells of Azkaban are full

because of me," Alastor said darkly. "How much more 'qualified' do I need to be? Youhired Lockhart after all."

Now Alastor was starting in on him, too! Honestly, what was it, when did DADAinterviews turn into 'Gang Up On Albus' time? Still, maybe one of these days heshould just give Severus his precious position. That way he'd get it over and done

with and could conduct his interviews in peace. Was it even proper for Severus to behere when the other candidate was applying?

"Anything else I should know?" Albus asked, knowing Alastor far too well to have anyfollow-up questions for the man.

"I'm great with kids," Alastor offered, smiling dangerously.

Albus and Severus shivered in unison.


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Y e a r Fiv e

"Well, I must say that was a resounding success," Severus said sarcastically as hestrolled into Albus's office.

"No need to be snippy, Severus," Albus said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Who's being snippy?" Severus asked innocently. "Death Eater or not, Crouch wasthe best Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor you've hired while I've workedhere."

"You can't be serious; he tried to kill Harry," Albus pointed out.

"So he did," Severus said disinterestedly, inspecting a nail. "That doesn't take awayfrom his teaching prowess. And since every Defense Professor but Lockhart whomerely tried to Obliviate the boy has tried to kill Potter, I don't see why you'remaking such a big deal about this attempt."

"Because it brought Voldemort back?" suggested Albus.

"That had already happened before Crouch's murder attempt," Severus said. "And ifhe had failed on the resurrecting the Dark Lord front, he almost certainly would haveattempted to kill Potter anyway."

"That is true," Albus admitted. "I feel that as Remus has already agreed to rejoin theOrder of the Phoenix, I should probably point out that he never actually tried to killHarry."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Lupin didn't take his Wolfsbane Potion the night of the fullmoon, he purposely sought Potter out, then he transformed into a werewolf and

would have at least turned Potter into a werewolf as well if it hadn't been for Blackbeing an illegal animagus and having a moment of nostalgia in the Shrieking Shackwith the living Marauder's and Potter's son. He may not have meantto nearly killPotter, but that's negligence if I've ever seen it."

"Those were extenuating circumstances-" Albus began.

"Of course there were," Severus said sardonically. "It always is when you happen tolike the person who did something illegal and stupid."

"While I agree that perhaps Remus should have thought things through more," Albussaid slowly. "Forgetting that it was the full moon in light of discovering that a deadfriend is actually alive and a traitor isn't exactly illegal."

"Maybe not," conceded Severus. "But not mentioning the fact that a convicted felon oh alright, a 'felon who's never been to trial' who everyone knows wants to get into


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your place of employment knows several secret passageways inside of it and can turninto a dog and nobody but you knows that might fall into the 'illegal' side of things."

"Why are we even talking about this anyway?" Albus demanded. "That was a yearago."

"Because you've yet to satisfactorily address my concerns," Severus said, crossing hisarms over his chest. "But very well, let's get back to this year. I think the fact thatCrouch was a raving lunatic who has spent thirteen years in either Azkaban with theDementors or his father's house under the Imperious Curse makes his ability tomimic sanity or at least Moody very impressive, not to mention his abilities as ateacher. I think he really missed his true calling when he took up with the DarkLord."

"Remus was a fine teacher," Albus protested.

"I thought we weren't talking about that year?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow."And all he did was teach about Dark Creatures. I understand that he has a certainaffinity for them, being one himself, but spending an entire year learning about theminstead of learning spells to defend yourself, which are far more useful if you don'tplan on going travelling or cleaning out an old, neglected wizarding home,particularly in these trouble times."

"Remus had no way of knowing Voldemort would be back so soon," Albus remindedSeverus.

The Potions Professor nodded. "I realize that," he said grudgingly. "However, we all

knew it was only a matter of time."

Realizing that Severus had a point, Albus quickly changed the subject. "I've heardmore than enough about Remus. Why don't you get back to talking about Crouch."

"Ah, yes, him. I would also like to point out that it's very sad that you failed to noticefor an entire year that Crouch wasn't actually Moody."

"In my defense, he was using Polyjuice Potion and regularly questioning Moodyunder Veritaserum," Albus said, his ears turning a bit pink.

"On the other hand, do you honestly expect me to believe that his taking Potter out ofyour sight after the end of the Third Task was the first time Crouch slipped upthroughout an entire year? I seem to recall you lamenting that you 'just didn't knowhim anymore' and it was as if he were 'a whole different person' more than a fewtimes during the first few months."

Albus coughed. "Well, I had just thought that retirement changed him or it wasbecause we hadn't spent as much time together as of late."

"And because of that you let a servant of the Dark Lord teach here for the second

time in four years." Severus paused, considering. "Still, I suppose it could have beenworse. At least you didn't, fail to notice the presence of the Dark Lord himself again."


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"Yes, well" Albus trailed off, wondering if there was actually anything to say thatcould make him seem less oblivious. If there was, he couldn't think of it.

"And what did you make of it when you found out he was illicitly castingUnforgivables on the students?" Severus continued.

"I thought that perhaps he hadn't quite understood that he was dealing with childrennow and not suspects," Albus confided. "They say the mind is the first to go."

Severus stared at Albus for a long moment. "Do they indeed?"

Albus wasn't quite sure what he was implying so he kept silent.

"By the way, have you made any progress on the 'Finding Slughorn' front?" Severusasked.

Albus had the good grace to look sheepish. "No, I haven't. I've been searchingfrantically for him since Harry told me about Voldemort, but it seems he's becomemore elusive than ever."

"Wait" Severus began incredulously. "You've actually been looking for him?"

"For the past two weeks," Albus confirmed. "Now that Voldemort is back, it seemslike as good a time as any to let you have the position. That way if you should getdriven from the castle, I can use you more effectively as a spy."

"But you can't find him," Severus said hollowly.

"No," Albus agreed. "And even if I could I'm not sure I'd be able to convince him tocome back. After all, my name is mud right now with everyone thinking that I've lostit because of my support of Harry, who they all believe is a lying schizophrenic. Thatreally doesn't make any sense though because assuming Harry isn't right, he wouldeither be lying about Voldemort's return and therefore know he wasn't back so hemight be crazy to want to incite a panic like this but not schizophrenic or he reallydoes think Voldemort is back when he isn't, which would make him schizophrenic

but not a liar as he truly believes that. The wizarding world really can't have it bothways, but try explaining that to them."

"Why doesn't Fudge just have Potter use a Pensieve to prove once and for all whathappened that night?" Severus asked reasonably. "I know they are incredibly rare,

but the Wizengamot has one at their disposal and it would answer those questionsabout Cedric Diggory's death as well."

Albus coughed lightly. "They would, but Fudge actually had a brilliant insight aboutthat."

Severus stared at him. "Really?"

"I know; I found it difficult to believe as well. He believes that it's possible that Harrywitnessed Cedric's death and certainly stumbled across his body. His behavior upon


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leaving the maze suggests that he was quite traumatized by it and as he was alreadyunbalanced as Rita Skeeter has spent the year painting him as he hallucinatedthe entire experience with Voldemort. If they view a Pensieve, then, they willprobably see Voldemort's resurrection, if only because Harry genuinely believes ithappened."

Severus opened and closed his mouth a few times. "That'sthat's brilliant. How dothey explain Diggory's death, then?"

"They're not actually going so far as to claim that Harry killed him," Albus said."Which is a relief because in this political climate, people would believe them. Theythink that Cedric either was killed by the creatures in the maze or given the lack ofany marks on his body was Avada Kedavra'd by Krum under the Imperious Curseand Krum won't admit he did more than stun Fleur because he's worried that as aforeigner he won't have a fair trial and due to everyone rejecting Harry's story, hisown statement about being Imperioused might not stand up either."

"They aren't throwing out Krum's insistence that he was Imperioused?" Severusasked, surprised.

"They have no need to," Albus replied. "After all, Crouch Sr. is dead and alreadydiscredited and Crouch Jr. is soulless and there has to be some explanation as to whyhe was still alive and masquerading as a teacher for a year. They claim that he wasdelusional and thought he could bring Voldemort back to life, but failed. Since theCup was supposed to be a Portkey to take the winner out of the maze so the winnercouldn't be ambushed on his way back, there is nothing to prove that the Cup firsttravelled to Little Hangleton."

Severus groaned. "Why can't Fudge apply this level of competence to the otheraspects of running the Ministry? Or for that matter, the fight against the Dark Lord?"

"Fudge doesn't want Voldemort to have come back on his watch; it will surely costhim the next election at the end of the year," Albus explained. "And Fudge isaccepting too much bribe money to interfere with how Lucius Malfoy runs hisMinistry."

Severus snorted at that. "So who's the lucky applicant this year that will get mydream job? In the last few years we've had the Dark Lord by proxy, a self-absorbed,incompetent, and Obliviating fraud of a celebrity, that werewolf Marauder, and nowan insane Death Eater."

"I'll do everything I can to find Slughorn," Albus promised quietly. "But in themeantime, due to all the rumors floating around and my own lack of time, I could notfind anyone to fill the position."

Severus looked blankly at him. "Couldn't find? But there has to be SOMEONE. Youcan't just not teach that this year."

Albus smiled grimly. "I know. And that's why the Ministry has kindly allowed me theuse of one of their top officials for the year."


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Severus looked rather nauseous at the thought that anyone sop i nk holding thatmuch power. To be honest, Albus was getting a bad feeling about her, too.

"That's very impressive," he finally managed. "Are you sure taking this job won'tinterfere with your Ministry work?"

"Oh no; I can do paperwork just as easily here as anywhere else and I can havemeetings via the Floo network when I can't leave Hogwarts," Umbridge assured him

brightly. "I may need to occasionally head back to the Ministry, but surely youunderstand that I can't abandon my duties at the Ministry because I've been calledupon to educate our youth."

"No, we can't have that," Albus managed to agree.

Severus leaned in closer to him. "If you don't have bloody legions out looking forSlughorn and she stays for longer than a year, I cannot possibly be held accountable

for my actions. Hell, I'm not even sure I'll be able to make it that long."

Somehow, Albus knew exactly what he meant.


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Y e a r S ix

"I think centaurs are my new favorite magical creatures," Severus announced as hestrode into Albus's office.

Albus, who had been pretending to work on paperwork but was really examining hisrecently deadened hand, looked up at the Potion's Professor. "I assume there is somecontext I'm missing out on?"

"Despite your promises, you did little to nothing last year to rid me of The Pink. Thecentaurs, on the other hand, did something I'm not quite sure what nor am I surethat I even want to know to her and now she is gone," Severus explained patiently.

"The Pink?" Albus blinked. "Do you mean Professor Umbridge?"

Severus snorted. "Please, Headmaster. That woman may be many things, but aProfessor is not one of them."

"Then whatever was I paying her for?" Albus asked dryly.

"That's a good question. I mean, all she did was force the students to read thetextbook," Severus pointed out. He cocked his head, thinking. "Actually, I'm fairlycertain Lockhart did the same thing, but at least he read out loud and acted thingsout with Potter, which was sure to cause some emotional scarring. And you never did

end up paying him, did you, once he lost his memory?"

Albus pointedly avoided Severus's gaze. "You never let anyone take out their wandeither."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Because I teach Potions. I have enough near-fatal incidentswithout the aid of wands. The minute one of those dunderheads particularly in myGryffindor Slytherin classes becomes armed, those near fatalities I always gripeabout will almost certain become actual fatalities."

"Perhaps you're right; a wand really has no place in a Potions Classroom," Albusagreed, completely disregarding the last part of Severus's statement. Surely if thesituation was that bad, someone would have said something by now. Well, someone

who wasn't blinded by anti-Slytherin sentiments.

"And as for your allegations that I was ignoring your pleas to rid you of DoloresUmbridge, I must remind you that I was rather busy last year," Albus remindedSeverus. "Dark Lords to watch out for, prophecies to protect, fugitives to keep alive,

wizards to persuade, Harry and my credibility to uphold" Albus counted off.

"And let me be the first to tell you that you failed spectacularly at three of them,"Severus said matter-of-factly.


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"It's hardly my fault Sirius wouldn't just stay put," Albus argued. "I mean, he mayhave been a little sick of being under house arrest, but I told him that we hadeverything under control."

"Headmaster, have you ever met Black?" Severus asked rhetorically. "His precious

godson by the unholy union of Lily and that wanker Potter was in danger. Again.Because of his own stupidity, arrogance, and refusal to go to adults when he hadproblems. Again."

"Severus, really, it isn't quite so bad as all that," Albus protested.

"In fact, I believe that I said something similar about Potter needing to turn to adultsright after that whole fiasco with the Philosopher's Stone," Severus continued. "Yousaid he'd eventually figure that out, but it looks like he never did. He got a man killed,Headmaster." As an afterthought, he added, "Even if it was only Black. I noticed theypardoned him posthumously."

Albus shrugged. "They had to do something to help spin the negative PR. And theprophecy was protected; Voldemort still has no idea what it says."

"But it's been destroyed. Four fifth years and two fourth years were attempting tokeep it from at lest half a dozen Death Eaters and it's only a bloody miracle that keptthe prophesy from falling into their hands," Severus said, allowing a trace offrustration to creep into his voice.

"Call it whatever you will, the fact remains that it was perhaps for the best that theprophesy was destroyed as now Voldemort will never be able to gain access to it as

Harry and I are the only ones who know the entirety of it," Albus said sagely.

"You do realize that Potter has got to be the worst Occlumens in the school and anyhalf-trained Legilimens could pull that information out of his mind and go runningstraight to the Dark Lord? If nothing else, you know Draco Malfoy has been recentlyinitiated, all too stupid and enthusiastic to realize what he's getting himself into, andspends quite a bit of time around Potter already?" Severus reminded him.

"So keep them apart," Albus suggested.

Severus took a deep breath before replying. "That's like trying to keep the Maraudersaway from me: it's just not going to happen."

"And Harry and my credibility are doing just fine," Albus said loudly, dutifullyignoring the beginning of yet another lecture about his tendency to favor Gryffindors.So he had a little residual House Pride. Was that really such a bad thing?

"After the Dark Lord was stupid enough to come to the Ministry personally in themiddle of an attack that was sure to have triggered some sort of alarms," Severusreplied. "I just don't understand why he would do that. I mean, if he was willing tocome personally, he should have waited until all of excitement about the battle died

down or, alternatively, just entered the Ministry and stole the prophecy without all ofthe drama? And what was to prevent a Death Eater from coming in and removing the


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prophecy without picking it up? He could have knocked it off the shelf. Or if thatwouldn't work, he could have broken it. Since all those involved at the Ministry Battlewould appear to be just as sane as they were when they went in which, admittedly,isn't necessarily saying a whole lot that's proof that someone could do that withoutgoing insane. Since prophecies state their contents aloud after being broken, there

was nothing stopping anyone from coming in, breaking it, and then recording theprophesy. Even if he couldn't remember it word for word, the Dark Lord could havesimply used legilimency to get the information," Severus ranted.

"That'squite a speech," Albus managed to say. "I would not presume to understandwhat Voldemort is thinking, but I can hazard a guess that perhaps he did not put asmuch thought in alternative methods of obtaining the prophecy as you did."

"Which, in of itself, is very sad considering I just came up with those now," Severusmuttered.

"You always were very creative," Albus told him. "Now, not that I don't enjoy verbalsparring with you, but I do have a war to coordinate and not quite a year in which toplan out Voldemort's destruction."

"Why can't you have his destruction take place now so you can be around to see ifanything goes wrong and it will if Potter or Lupin are involved and compensateaccordingly?" Severus asked petulantly.

"Harry's not nearly ready," Albus responded gravely.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Well, if Potter's not ready, then by all means take another

year or two, never mind all those silly little people DYING all over the place."

"Severus, please," Albus said firmly.

Severus sighed heavily. "I'm here to apply for the position of Defense Against theDark Arts Professor."

"Severus" Albus began softly.

"You've found Slughorn, haven't you?" Severus cut him off harshly.

Albus nodded. "I'll going to go see him tomorrow. Are you really certain that you canbeat this curse?"

"Under the circumstances, probably not," Severus confessed.

"Circumstances?" Albus repeated.

"Once I kill you, there will be no going back."

"You don't know that it will come to that," Albus tried to reassure him.


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Six Years Six Applicants