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Welcome to “THE SITREP” – your RLIRA-Africa newsletter – Volume 1, May 2018
Salutation
Greetings all ouens and crows.
Welcome to the 1st
edition of “The Sitrep”. Basically (oh - how I hate that word),
“The Sitrep” is a means to bring all RLI
followers abreast with events happened,
and about to happen, at Dickie Fritz MOTH
Shellhole, Edenvale, Gauteng. This
newsletter will also include updates from
other branches – if they ever get round to
it!.
Albeit, news was received (from Dave
Arkwright – SAS) of ANZAC Day where Dr
Doug Paxton (ex-RLI) read a prayer on the banks of the Swan River. Also received,
from Darrell Watt (SAS) were photos of two SAS members (one is a frequent visitor
of ours) from Borrowdale, Harare. Colin Riddell and Bob Warren-Codrington are
both on duty here but, neither of them realises the Queen left the balcony way
back in 1965!
Ostensibly (oh - how I love that word), “The Sitrep” will concentrate on news from
the last prayer-meeting, or those post the last edition. Your contributions will be
welcome because they will help to “beef-up” and augment the intended humour,
personal detail and friendly atmosphere of our band of brothers/sisters (wowwowwowwow---- that that that that
was terribly PC oldwas terribly PC oldwas terribly PC oldwas terribly PC old----boy!boy!boy!boy!). Not that “The Sitrep” is limited to those of green and
silver ilk – far from it. Our fold is already liberally seasoned with jobs-blue, okes-
brown, Mr Plods and berets-red – an invitation so generously afforded, by the
RLIRA, to all Rhodesians who wish to attend RLIRA prayer-meetings.
So – what is in store for this launch – let’s OP the pozzi.
RLIRA AGM 05 May 2018
Serving members until 2021 are:
Brian Lewis – Chairman
Buck Theron – Secretary
Mark Taunton – Treasurer
Charlie Norris – Welfare
Neil Swart – Events/Fund-raising
Outgoing member
Debbie Huxham – QM – to be replaced by Charlie Warren (BCR)
Minutes of the AGM will be available by other means and, therefore, this is not the
platform to repeat such matters. It was good to see the attendance swell
(gradually) to 43 members, amongst whom were M.J. Smith , Bez Bezuidenhout ,
Kevin and Derrick Taylor , Ross Parker , Skip Bischoff , Vernon Prinsloo , Graeme
Murdoch , Nigel Henson, Pat Armstrong , Ian Bate, Simon Carpenter and others you
might recognise.
An observation perhaps?
The 2017-2018 year was a “bumper” by a long-shot – record membership
subscriptions, record donations, record fund-raising, record cracked and stuck! All
looks good until one examines the records – I mean, subscriptions rocketed from
19% in 2016-2017 to 34% in 2017-2018. Only an idiot would applaud that stat
(except for committee members who made the effort) because – analysis will tell
you that, of the 536 members, only 182 paid their subs! Moreover, of the possible
R160 800.00 only R54 600.00 reached the coffers by way of membership fees.
Ouens – that is pathetic!
When you consider annual subs amount to R25.00 per month (less than a double-
tot and mixer) – and when one looks at the empty spirit bottles that Marion, Alf
and company so doggedly pour every prayer-meeting - the majority of this Gauteng
section of the regiment is out of step! There- I’ve said it.
Come on, ouens – don’t wait for an email from
Mark – pay your subs and stop slouching. Stand tall like an RLI soldier should.
As Brian indicated –Members really do not have an excuse NOT to pay, because
funds are available through the generosity of a number of members who have
donated funds to assist pay for the membership fees, of those who are genuinely
unable to pay. .
That said – non-payment of subs does not, by any means, indicate that you are not
a member of the RLIRA.
However non-payment of subs implies that you are NOT a FULL member in good
standing, [paid up], and therefore will not automatically receive any form of
financial assistance.
Financial assistance is not guaranteed to any member, and is totally dependant on
availability of funds once a request has been verified and approved.
By not paying, implies failing to support your parent Regiment, who in turn are
supporting those members who are in need of assistance – fact!
Col Ian Bate, very fittingly and very eloquently, offered a vote of thanks to the
committee for its outstanding performance – truer words could not have been
spoken.
Attendance
At future prayer-meetings a request will be made for every visitor (ouens
and crows) to complete an attendance register for purposes of circulation in
“The Sitrep”. No malice intended – but, an opportunity to connect with
friends, long-lost lovers and drinking buddies.
Attendees are reminded not to park unlawfully, within the grounds at Dickie
Fritz. Both Col Bate and Lt Col Pat Armstrong were fined last Saturday for
parking their respective “captured” vehicles in the disabled parking. Disabled
– my foot!
Prayer Meeting Feedback – 05 May 2018 (plus more social banter)
Theme – Support Commando Day (and what a day it was!)
A salute must go to this soldier and his team of willing helpers. No, Bucks –
we are saluting you – poop-ol!
Curry and rice went down a treat whilst other “chickens” decided to braai on
fires provided free of charge. Bucks had“valve-bounce” moments after
tasting his own recipe!
Two bands entertained one of the largest crowds ever to congregate at
Dickie Fritz, including an excellent rendition of “Oh, when the Saints…”
Conversation was difficult but, the music certainly got the “boppers” going.
Neil Swart had huge support on the 50/50 board whilst Lynn Theron’s buffalo
painting fetched a princely sum on auction. It is still unclear how many times
Colleen Carter won the auction, and the 50/50, because Neil is keeping
“mum” about how much this generous lady donated to welfare on the day.
She’s trying to remain incognito (can’t see me) here somewhere!
Other “yellows-peril” and reprobates.
Rolls of Honour
The rolls for RLI and Rhaf were read by Nigel Henson (ex-OC Support Cdo) and Rob
Sweeting respectively. Our fallen for the month of May are as follows:
Surname Name Number Rank Unit Command Status DoD
Bennett
Raynor
Laurence
"Ray"
722154 WO2 Attd
SchInf RLI DOAS
01-
May-
77
Chance
Michael
John
"Mike"
730045 Tpr 11 Tp, 3
Cdo RLI KIA
15-
May-
79
Clarke George
William 728197 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA
15-
May-
77
Clinton Vernon 5424 Tpr 1st Bn RLI KOAS
08-
May-
73
Edmunds
Christopher
John
"Bobo"
727562 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KIA
30-
May-
77
Johnston Alan
Thomas 3248 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KOAS
13-
May-
69
MacDonald Earl Angus
Cecil 727392 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA
15-
May-
77
Maguire Raymond
Edwin 726911 L/Cpl 1 Cdo RLI DOAS
14-
May-
77
Muir
Douglas
Sydney
"Dougie"
728586 Tpr 1 Cdo RLI KIA
12-
May-
79
Myburgh
Kenneth
Herman
"Ken"
730053 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA
16-
May-
79
Pitch Leonard
Paul "Len" V2145 Capt
Attached
to 13 Tp,
3 Cdo
RLI KIA
17-
May-
76
Visser Bertie 5052 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KOAS
11-
May-
71
Walters John
William 781339 2LT 2 Cdo RLI KOAS
27-
May-
79
Zietsman
Andrew
Irvine
"Andy"
"Ziets"
111392 Tpr 1 Cdo RLI KIA
11-
May-
78
Brown
Compton
William
David
"Dave"
4260 AC TF
Supern RhAF KOAS
04-
May-
77
Collocott Bruce Ivan 4123 Flt Lt -
Plt No 3 Sqn RhAF KIA
30-
May-
77
Nelson
Robert
George
"Rob"
6526
Snr Ac -
Tech/Gn
r
No 7 Sqn RhAF KIA
18-
May-
77
Small
Thomas
Albert
Mark
AF Fit No 4 Sqn RhAF KOAS
25-
May-
75
Straw Rodney
Peter Tech/Sgt Thornhill RhAF DOAS
10-
May-
71
Humour
Whilst this sequence was completely unintentional, Pauline is reminded that
“war-stories” should not be repeated at prayer-meetings.
Even the BSAP enjoyed that one!
Sunset calls
Thankfully, there were no calls for deceased members since the April reunion –
avoidance is key to survival.
Sick Parade
After several “oil-changes”, and an equal number of satisfied nurses, we were
delighted to see him in fine fettle. Stay that way, boet, and all the best to you and
Debbie upon your retirement in Cape Town. Watch out Cape Town – this ouen can
be seriously funny and his good lady is an avid RLI supporter – tables need to be
sturdy when the music is pumping.
This couple has spent a fortune on medical expenses and, therefore, can be
excused their appearance.
Mads’ ankle made an unlawfully painful “U-turn” whilst on a recent trip to Kruger
Game Reserve, resulting in the hire of a wheel-chair for purposes game-viewing.
Being of 1 Cdo extract, Bongs has advised against such foolish behaviour because a
cheetah is sure to catch Mads if it comes to a race! Mads thinks differently.
Keith Blanshard has not had a “jump” for quite some time due to flu. Whilst he
shows genuine concern for Mads’ predicament – NOT, he is following the advice of
his skydiving instructor to reduce air-flow!
A quick look in the rear-view mirror to the 03 March reunion, dedicated to raising
funds for a 3 Commando ouen who had recently donated his body (whilst alive) to
science, for purposes “knitting”. Even more remarkable is the fact that 1 Cdo
sponsored the event! – Such is a Cheetah’s craving for Lovers. A wheel-barrow, full
of booze, was raffled in two sections, A & B. The finalist of A was drawn against the
finalist of B in order for the vanquished to be mortified. Wait for it – the finalist of A
just happened to be the wife of subject “knitting”, whilst B consisted of the one and
only
Before a clear winner was decided, A &B came to a compromise – B would
drink the booze if A allowed him to pee into the barrow! Such are the
enigmatic negotiating skills of RLI troopers.
Combined with the sale of Boerie rolls (accompanied by some serious ring-
sting prepared by Bucks) our BIG Red “master of ceremonies” succoured R14
000.00 from willing, unsuspecting and inebriated patrons. That’s good going
Swartie – keep it up. Incidentally, most of the wheel-barrow contained
bottles RED.
Upcoming Events
The next prayer meeting will be on the first Saturday of next month, as usual – 02
June. There is no theme, as yet.
QM Stores
It is reported (on good authority) that stores are overflowing – perhaps that should
have read “garages”. To this end, it is believed, there is to be a mass sale. This
news will be of particular interest to collectors, hoarders, and squirrels book-
lovers. The plan is, to regroup and resupply with much needed, and much wanted,
stock – rat-packs, housewives, fresh-puss, ammo and chibullies. More later when
details are revealed by Charlie Warren – not forgetting his BCR.
One of the new products is real bully-beef, a product of Botswana that tastes
exactly the same as the genuine article i.e. army rat-packs. At R30.00 per tin, “you
no longer have to dream about your call-up – you can relive it!”
Honestly, this is an excellent product and far superior to
any “corned meat” found in supermarkets. Tinned ham
(same size) retails for >R40.00, so make sure you
are first in the queue.
Advertising
There are plans to offer members an
opportunity to advertise themselves and their services (gigolos exempted).
Between us, we have plumbers, electricians, house and pet sitters, lawyers,
egg-sellers and a host of other up-standing professions. Now is an
opportunity to offer your wares and, perhaps, save a buddy some “start”.
Advertisements will cost R50-00 per entry or R500.00 for an annual
subscription. You provide the type-setting and, upon payment, your advert
will be included in the next “The Sitrep”. NB – genuine appeals for
employment, support, lost and found, seeking friends, or assistance will not
be charged – only services, merchandise, sell/swop and gigolos will be
charged. Enquiries can be forwarded to [email protected] - also use
this address for news items, opinions and feedback for inclusion in the next
edition.
Seeking Employment
Chris Bekker -2 Commando
Seeking employment in KZN or Gauteng. Has valid code 8 clean driver’s
licence and several years’ experience in the paint trade.
Please contact [email protected].
Until next time – keep your pecker up – head down – keep well – and keep
supporting the RLIRA.
Ed