Single LifeA Path to Living Fully

What does it mean to be single?•Most people are single for some part of

adulthood•Not simply the state of not being married

or not having a boyfriend•Lifestyle in its own right with unique

opportunities and problems

What does society think about being single?•Often seen as a good thing-independence•Possibly seen as a bad thing

Why are the numbers of single people on the rise in the U.S.?•Death of a spouse•Delay marriage for further education or career, or have not found the person they want to marry

•Divorced people•Choose to remain single

By Choice or by Chance•Single life as a vocation

▫For some the lifestyle is chosen because they believe this is the best way for them to grow and to make a contribution to the world

•Single life by force of circumstance▫Still need to embrace the singleness▫Need not consider it only a holding pattern▫Embrace life instead of waiting for it to

happen

A Life of Loving

•Christian command to love God and neighbor

•Love is essential to happiness and to a sense of meaning in life

•Jesus taught us about love as a single person▫Gives us a model of how the single can be a

life of love

How do single people love and create life?•Friends•Hobbies (music, sports, dancing)•Being good at their jobs•Learning and developing skills•Caring about their family•Volunteer work: at home and abroad•Giving time and talents

Problems and Opportunities

•Each lifestyle has problems and opportunities

•Considering these can help that person consciously shape decisions on how to live

FreedomFreedom EgocentrismEgocentrism To make decisions To make decisions based on his or her based on his or her convictions needs or convictions needs or goalsgoals Freedom to choose for Freedom to choose for themselves-- from simple themselves-- from simple to complex decisionsto complex decisions Can take risksCan take risks

A self-centered or A self-centered or selfish outlookselfish outlook May not have the May not have the constant opportunity for a constant opportunity for a give and take relationshipgive and take relationship Can lead to an inability Can lead to an inability to commit to anything or to commit to anything or anyoneanyone May not want to be tied May not want to be tied downdown Can lead to a rootless Can lead to a rootless life which lacks purposelife which lacks purpose

SolitudeSolitude LonelinessLoneliness Being alone for Being alone for thought, creative thought, creative pursuits, rest, learning, pursuits, rest, learning, or prayeror prayer Is necessary for Is necessary for growth of a persongrowth of a person By living alone we By living alone we have a harder time have a harder time hiding from ourselveshiding from ourselves Can also urge us to Can also urge us to appreciate our appreciate our relationships morerelationships more

Feeling of sadness Feeling of sadness from being alonefrom being alone may feel isolatedmay feel isolated

Wider FriendshipsWider Friendships Not Belonging with One Not Belonging with One Special PersonSpecial Person

possibility of a large possibility of a large network of friendsnetwork of friendsHave more time for Have more time for many types of intimacymany types of intimacyRecreational, Recreational, intellectual, aesthetic, intellectual, aesthetic, spiritual, work, common-spiritual, work, common-cause, etc.cause, etc.

Ache of not belonging Ache of not belonging to one special personto one special personMay be a loneliness May be a loneliness that comes from not that comes from not having one special having one special personpersonEspecially as one Especially as one grows oldergrows older

Professional Professional CommitmentCommitment

Job TrapsJob Traps

Some people truly Some people truly want to focus on their want to focus on their careercareerGives flexibility to Gives flexibility to dedicate more time and dedicate more time and even relocateeven relocate

Sometimes single Sometimes single people feel trappedpeople feel trappedSometimes an Sometimes an expectation that a single expectation that a single person can absorb person can absorb unlimited work unlimited work assignmentsassignmentsEmployers and other Employers and other workers may also feel workers may also feel that single people are that single people are not as entitled to pay not as entitled to pay raisesraises

Less ExpensiveLess Expensive More ExpensiveMore ExpensivePotentially less Potentially less expensiveexpensiveDoes not have to Does not have to support spouse or support spouse or childrenchildrenNeeds apply only to Needs apply only to one person not an entire one person not an entire familyfamilyCan opt for a simple Can opt for a simple lifestylelifestyleShare housing with Share housing with friends or familyfriends or family

Potentially more Potentially more expensiveexpensiveFurnishing home or Furnishing home or apartment on one incomeapartment on one incomeTaxes often higher on a Taxes often higher on a single personsingle personInsurance rates are higher Insurance rates are higher tootooTend to eat out more oftenTend to eat out more oftenMay join health clubs or May join health clubs or spend more on spend more on entertainmententertainment

A Life of Possibilities

•Consider how single life can lead to being fully alive

•Reflect on some of the problems and how you would deal with them

•You might treat your time of singleness as a time to learn more about yourself

•Fruitful way of life

•We discussed that it is likely that all adults will be single at one point in their life. What do you see as the aspects of single life you will enjoy the most? What aspects will be the most challenging for you? Do you look forward to single life? Why or why not?