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MAY “In accordance with the provisions of ADA, this document may be requested in a different format.” The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function without regard to race, color, sex, age, handicap or national origin. COOPERATIVE EXTENSION WORK IN AGRICULTURE AND HOME ECONOMICS, STATE OF FLORIDA, IFAS, UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA, U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE, AND BOARDS OF COUNTY COMMISSIONERS COOPERATING. Sibling Rivalry Sibling rivalry serves an important purpose for children. They have an opportunity of learning how to live with another person, how to share, how to win as well as lose, and how to cope with their less than loving feelings at times. These are skills they need to learn to prepare them for adulthood. The real challenge for a parent is not to try to stop the sibling rivalry, but to keep it healthy. Here are some reasons children fight. L They fight to compete for adults’ attention and approval. Children will do whatever they can to get attention. L They don’t know how to share nor how to express their anger properly. Most children do not want to share so parents need to teach them the value of sharing. L Children fight because they enjoy it. When a child is home and bored, it may be easier for him --to pick a fight with his sister. L Children fight for power. What are some things parents can do to keep sibling rivalry at a healthy level? J Set up clear boundaries. Teach children whose room is whose, whose toys are whose, and which ones belong to the whole family. J Teach positive ways of expressing anger. Teach children that anger is a feeling NOT an action, such as shouting, hitting, shoving. J Do not deny your children’s negative feeling toward each other. Allow each child to describe to you what is happening and how he feels. DO NOT take sides and DO NOT judge. J Stop hurtful behaviors. Teach children that home needs to be a safe place. Acknowledge when children are kind to each other. J Be mindful of and attend to each child’s needs. Give time to each child according to what he needs.z Source: Fighting the Sibling Rivalry Monster, Dr. Linda S. Budd, Family Information Services. Teach your child that if the telephone rings, she should: ( say “hello” but never give her name ( never give out information about the family ( never tell the caller she’s by herself at home ( call you or another adult if she’s afraid z Source: Florida Children’s Safety Center, online publication.

Sibling Rivalry - Palm Beach County, Floridadiscover.pbcgov.org/.../FACS/PDF/family/RaisingKids/SiblingRivalry.pdf · MAY “In accordance with the provisions of ADA, this document

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MAY

“In accordance with the provisions of ADA, this document may be requested in a different format.”The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information

and other services only to individuals and institutions that function without regard to race, color, sex, age, handicap or national origin.COOPERATIVE EXTENSION WORK IN AGRICULTURE AND HOME ECONOMICS, STATE OF FLORIDA, IFAS, UNIVERSITY OF

FLORIDA, U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE, AND BOARDS OF COUNTY COMMISSIONERS COOPERATING.

Sibling RivalrySibling rivalry serves an important purpose for children. They have an opportunity oflearning how to live with another person, how to share, how to win as well as lose, and howto cope with their less than loving feelings at times. These are skills they need to learn toprepare them for adulthood.

The real challenge for a parent is not to try to stop the sibling rivalry, but to keep it healthy.Here are some reasons children fight.

LL They fight to compete for adults’ attention and approval. Children will do whateverthey can to get attention.LL They don’t know how to sharenor how to express their angerproperly. Most children do not want toshare so parents need to teach themthe value of sharing.LL Children fight because they enjoyit. When a child is home and bored, itmay be easier for him--to pick a fight with his sister.LL Children fight for power.

What are some things parents can do to keep siblingrivalry at a healthy level?

☺☺ Set up clear boundaries. Teach children whoseroom is whose, whose toys are whose, and which onesbelong to the whole family.☺☺ Teach positive ways of expressing anger. Teachchildren that anger is a feeling NOT an action, such asshouting, hitting, shoving.☺☺ Do not deny your children’s negative feelingtoward each other. Allow each child to describe to youwhat is happening and how he feels. DO NOT takesides and DO NOT judge.☺☺ Stop hurtful behaviors. Teach children that homeneeds to be a safe place. Acknowledge when childrenare kind to each other.☺☺ Be mindful of and attend to each child’s needs.Give time to each child according to what he needs.zz

Source: Fighting the Sibling Rivalry Monster, Dr. Linda S. Budd,Family Information Services.

Teach your child that if thetelephone rings, she should:

(( say “hello” but nevergive her name(( never give outinformation about the family(( never tell the caller she’sby herself at home(( call you or another adultif she’s afraid zz

Source: Florida Children’s Safety Center,online publication.

On Saturday’s I take my 3-year-old daughter shopping. Thetrips turn into grumbling and begging sessions as she asks

for everything she sees. I end up giving her what shewants to prevent a scene in the store. How can I stopthis habit?

Grocery shopping with a young child can be difficultfor the parents as well as the child. For the child, thegrocery store may be too exciting with all the brightlycolored, easy-to-reach items. Usually parents arerushing as they shop and this makes the child evenmore excited. Here are some things you might try tomake grocery shopping more pleasant for you andyour child.

++ Plan to go shopping at a time when your child isnot hungry or overtired.

++ Talk with your daughter ahead of time. Tell herwhat you expect and what she may and may not have.

++ Let her choose one treat from a few selectionsyou have made as soon as you get to the store.

++ Make a game out of shopping, e.g., ask yourdaughter to tell you when she sees a green or bluebottle. Give her some activity that will hold herattention.zz

Source: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson for Family Information Services.

Palm Beach County Extension ~ University of Florida/IFAS ~ Family & Consumer Sciences559 North Military Trail ~West Palm Beach, FL 33415-1311

561-233-1742 ~ pbcgov.com/coopext/FACSMR K DLC F 7/07

Did you know that calmness helps to lessenyour anger? Here are four steps to stayingcalm.

1 Stop, breathe, and count. Stop. Put spacebetween you and your child. Breathe. Relax.Count and put your mind on something else.

2 “See” and “hear” yourself. Think aboutwhat is really happening. What lesson do youwant your child to learn?

3 Change your expectations. Make sure youare not expecting too much from your child forhis age. The more unrealistic yourexpectations are, the more likely it is that youwill get angry when your child (mis)behaves.

4 Plan ahead. Look at the situation. Can youchange something next time.zzSource: Understanding and Managing Parental Anger, Elizabeth Pantley,

Family Information Services.

Kids Can HelpChildren can bring andmeasure ingredients.

An adult needs tooperate the stovetop.

All children must besupervised when they

are in the kitchen.

Chilly Willy Sandwich

Spread ¼ cup of your favorite yogurton a waffle, top with ¼ cup freshfruit. Fold into a sandwich. Freezein plastic wrap.zz