Upload
gina-gallagher
View
216
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 112
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 312
[ 11 ]
CHAPTER 1
Snowflakes andDisney WorldOut of the World of Parent Fantasy
Comes the Scary Reality
When does it happen Tat precise moment when you realize
that despite your best-laid plans yoursquove completely and utterly
lost control o your lie Itrsquos a question we ofen pose to each other
though in a more direct and simple way
ldquoHey Pat when did our lives take that lef turn into Crazyvillerdquo
ldquoOh thatrsquos easy Gene when we had kidsrdquoItrsquos not like we made plans to go there or ever in our wildest
dreams imagined our lives would head in that direction Like a lot
o prospective parents we had plansmdashdreams and expectations or
our uture childrenrsquos lives We wanted them to enjoy the same happy
relatively normal childhoods we had For us being challenged meant
1047297nding a way not to upset our loving generous and sometimes orce-
ul Italian grandmother
ldquoGina come here and 1047297nish your drinkrdquoldquoBut Nana I donrsquot like highballs And besides Irsquom only sixrdquo
Yes easy careree childhoods Tat was the plan until that painul
moment when we realized our childrenrsquos livesmdashand the lives o our
entire amilymdashwould never be ldquonormalrdquo
Ginarsquos ldquoChillingrdquo Dose of Reality
Some things just arenrsquot unny
Te snow1047298ake essay Gina uncovered in her then ten-year-old-
daughter Katiersquos backpack sure wasnrsquot Gina had always thought o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 412
[ 12 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
snow1047298akes as light and airy But the one in this essay It was dark and
heavy
As she read it Gina instantly elt the weight o the dark wordsbeore her
I I were a snow1047298ake alling I would be sneaky and clever too
and when I all I would strike Afer I am going to my school
it is time or revenge As Irsquom walking down I ran into the prin-
cipal and knocked her over Oh no I ran over the principal Oh
well Irsquoll just leave her there Te students are working not or
long Here I go Fear me ha ha ha I charge right into the schooland damage everything beore my school blows up 5 4 3 2 1
Bye school I wonrsquot be missing it I 1047298ow away ast Now what
should I do next now that my school is gone World and I have
a present or all a bomb And also one last thing beware o me
Oh itrsquos not like Gina wasnrsquot warned about it Earlier in the day
while she was working comortably in her warm home offi ce shersquodreceived a call rom Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade teacher When the phone rang
and the name o her school district 1047298ashed on the caller ID Gina
knew something was wrong Te letters may have appeared small but
to Gina they lit up like a nuclear meltdown warning ldquoDanger Will
Robinsonrdquo
Almost instantly Gina elt a amiliar burn in her stomach ldquoOh
no Not againrdquo she cried out startling her little dog Max who was
napping by her eetGina had no idea what the call was about this time though she
knew it wouldnrsquot be good Tey never were
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school psychologist Katie had another
meltdown todayrdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school nurse Katiersquos here with another
stomachacherdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher Katiersquos hand 1047298apping has really increased Teother kids have noticedrdquo
Over the years the calls rom the school had been relatively sparse
maybe one or two every ew months But in the 1047297rst ew months o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 512
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 13 ]
Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade year Gina had received more calls than the Jerry
Lewis telethon
With a disorder that affected her ability to relate to other childrenKatie was different rom other kids and the struggles o dealing with
her differences were escalating along with the school calls
Remember to breathe Gina reminded hersel as she shakily put
down her cocoa cup picked up the phone and braced hersel or the
bad news that was sure to come
ldquoH-H-Hellordquo she stuttered
ldquoMrs Gallagher this is Katiersquos teacherrdquo
ldquoYes what is it Whatrsquos wrongrdquoldquoWell something very upsetting happened at school todayrdquo
ldquoWhat was itrdquo Gina asked impatiently
ldquoWell or the holiday break I asked the class to write a snow1047298ake
essay rdquo
It might have been stress or her warped sense o humor but Gina
started to giggle
ldquoMrs Gallagher are you thererdquoldquoYes itrsquos just that I ail to see how anything upsetting can come out
o a snow1047298ake essayrdquo
ldquoWell this is very seriousrdquo
ldquoGo ahead Irsquom listeningrdquo Gina responded 1047297ghting back laughter
ldquoMrs Gallagher in her snow1047298ake essay your daughter threatened
to blow up the schoolrdquo
ldquoCome againrdquo
ldquoYou heard me Katie wrote a snow1047298ake essay and threatened toblow up the schoolrdquo
Gina couldnrsquot help but laugh
ldquoWe have to take these things very seriously Mrs Gallagherrdquo
ldquoIrsquom sure you do but you canrsquot honestly think Katie would hurt
anybody She wouldnrsquot hurt a 1047298y She doesnrsquot even like eating animal
crackersrdquo
ldquoBelieve me Mrs Gallagher Irsquom not araid o KatierdquoldquoYou shouldnrsquot be Irsquom not sure she knows how to build a bomb
She barely has her multiplication tables downrdquo Gina responded tip-
ping back in her chair and twisting the phone cord around her 1047297ngers
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 312
[ 11 ]
CHAPTER 1
Snowflakes andDisney WorldOut of the World of Parent Fantasy
Comes the Scary Reality
When does it happen Tat precise moment when you realize
that despite your best-laid plans yoursquove completely and utterly
lost control o your lie Itrsquos a question we ofen pose to each other
though in a more direct and simple way
ldquoHey Pat when did our lives take that lef turn into Crazyvillerdquo
ldquoOh thatrsquos easy Gene when we had kidsrdquoItrsquos not like we made plans to go there or ever in our wildest
dreams imagined our lives would head in that direction Like a lot
o prospective parents we had plansmdashdreams and expectations or
our uture childrenrsquos lives We wanted them to enjoy the same happy
relatively normal childhoods we had For us being challenged meant
1047297nding a way not to upset our loving generous and sometimes orce-
ul Italian grandmother
ldquoGina come here and 1047297nish your drinkrdquoldquoBut Nana I donrsquot like highballs And besides Irsquom only sixrdquo
Yes easy careree childhoods Tat was the plan until that painul
moment when we realized our childrenrsquos livesmdashand the lives o our
entire amilymdashwould never be ldquonormalrdquo
Ginarsquos ldquoChillingrdquo Dose of Reality
Some things just arenrsquot unny
Te snow1047298ake essay Gina uncovered in her then ten-year-old-
daughter Katiersquos backpack sure wasnrsquot Gina had always thought o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 412
[ 12 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
snow1047298akes as light and airy But the one in this essay It was dark and
heavy
As she read it Gina instantly elt the weight o the dark wordsbeore her
I I were a snow1047298ake alling I would be sneaky and clever too
and when I all I would strike Afer I am going to my school
it is time or revenge As Irsquom walking down I ran into the prin-
cipal and knocked her over Oh no I ran over the principal Oh
well Irsquoll just leave her there Te students are working not or
long Here I go Fear me ha ha ha I charge right into the schooland damage everything beore my school blows up 5 4 3 2 1
Bye school I wonrsquot be missing it I 1047298ow away ast Now what
should I do next now that my school is gone World and I have
a present or all a bomb And also one last thing beware o me
Oh itrsquos not like Gina wasnrsquot warned about it Earlier in the day
while she was working comortably in her warm home offi ce shersquodreceived a call rom Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade teacher When the phone rang
and the name o her school district 1047298ashed on the caller ID Gina
knew something was wrong Te letters may have appeared small but
to Gina they lit up like a nuclear meltdown warning ldquoDanger Will
Robinsonrdquo
Almost instantly Gina elt a amiliar burn in her stomach ldquoOh
no Not againrdquo she cried out startling her little dog Max who was
napping by her eetGina had no idea what the call was about this time though she
knew it wouldnrsquot be good Tey never were
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school psychologist Katie had another
meltdown todayrdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school nurse Katiersquos here with another
stomachacherdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher Katiersquos hand 1047298apping has really increased Teother kids have noticedrdquo
Over the years the calls rom the school had been relatively sparse
maybe one or two every ew months But in the 1047297rst ew months o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 512
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 13 ]
Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade year Gina had received more calls than the Jerry
Lewis telethon
With a disorder that affected her ability to relate to other childrenKatie was different rom other kids and the struggles o dealing with
her differences were escalating along with the school calls
Remember to breathe Gina reminded hersel as she shakily put
down her cocoa cup picked up the phone and braced hersel or the
bad news that was sure to come
ldquoH-H-Hellordquo she stuttered
ldquoMrs Gallagher this is Katiersquos teacherrdquo
ldquoYes what is it Whatrsquos wrongrdquoldquoWell something very upsetting happened at school todayrdquo
ldquoWhat was itrdquo Gina asked impatiently
ldquoWell or the holiday break I asked the class to write a snow1047298ake
essay rdquo
It might have been stress or her warped sense o humor but Gina
started to giggle
ldquoMrs Gallagher are you thererdquoldquoYes itrsquos just that I ail to see how anything upsetting can come out
o a snow1047298ake essayrdquo
ldquoWell this is very seriousrdquo
ldquoGo ahead Irsquom listeningrdquo Gina responded 1047297ghting back laughter
ldquoMrs Gallagher in her snow1047298ake essay your daughter threatened
to blow up the schoolrdquo
ldquoCome againrdquo
ldquoYou heard me Katie wrote a snow1047298ake essay and threatened toblow up the schoolrdquo
Gina couldnrsquot help but laugh
ldquoWe have to take these things very seriously Mrs Gallagherrdquo
ldquoIrsquom sure you do but you canrsquot honestly think Katie would hurt
anybody She wouldnrsquot hurt a 1047298y She doesnrsquot even like eating animal
crackersrdquo
ldquoBelieve me Mrs Gallagher Irsquom not araid o KatierdquoldquoYou shouldnrsquot be Irsquom not sure she knows how to build a bomb
She barely has her multiplication tables downrdquo Gina responded tip-
ping back in her chair and twisting the phone cord around her 1047297ngers
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 312
[ 11 ]
CHAPTER 1
Snowflakes andDisney WorldOut of the World of Parent Fantasy
Comes the Scary Reality
When does it happen Tat precise moment when you realize
that despite your best-laid plans yoursquove completely and utterly
lost control o your lie Itrsquos a question we ofen pose to each other
though in a more direct and simple way
ldquoHey Pat when did our lives take that lef turn into Crazyvillerdquo
ldquoOh thatrsquos easy Gene when we had kidsrdquoItrsquos not like we made plans to go there or ever in our wildest
dreams imagined our lives would head in that direction Like a lot
o prospective parents we had plansmdashdreams and expectations or
our uture childrenrsquos lives We wanted them to enjoy the same happy
relatively normal childhoods we had For us being challenged meant
1047297nding a way not to upset our loving generous and sometimes orce-
ul Italian grandmother
ldquoGina come here and 1047297nish your drinkrdquoldquoBut Nana I donrsquot like highballs And besides Irsquom only sixrdquo
Yes easy careree childhoods Tat was the plan until that painul
moment when we realized our childrenrsquos livesmdashand the lives o our
entire amilymdashwould never be ldquonormalrdquo
Ginarsquos ldquoChillingrdquo Dose of Reality
Some things just arenrsquot unny
Te snow1047298ake essay Gina uncovered in her then ten-year-old-
daughter Katiersquos backpack sure wasnrsquot Gina had always thought o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 412
[ 12 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
snow1047298akes as light and airy But the one in this essay It was dark and
heavy
As she read it Gina instantly elt the weight o the dark wordsbeore her
I I were a snow1047298ake alling I would be sneaky and clever too
and when I all I would strike Afer I am going to my school
it is time or revenge As Irsquom walking down I ran into the prin-
cipal and knocked her over Oh no I ran over the principal Oh
well Irsquoll just leave her there Te students are working not or
long Here I go Fear me ha ha ha I charge right into the schooland damage everything beore my school blows up 5 4 3 2 1
Bye school I wonrsquot be missing it I 1047298ow away ast Now what
should I do next now that my school is gone World and I have
a present or all a bomb And also one last thing beware o me
Oh itrsquos not like Gina wasnrsquot warned about it Earlier in the day
while she was working comortably in her warm home offi ce shersquodreceived a call rom Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade teacher When the phone rang
and the name o her school district 1047298ashed on the caller ID Gina
knew something was wrong Te letters may have appeared small but
to Gina they lit up like a nuclear meltdown warning ldquoDanger Will
Robinsonrdquo
Almost instantly Gina elt a amiliar burn in her stomach ldquoOh
no Not againrdquo she cried out startling her little dog Max who was
napping by her eetGina had no idea what the call was about this time though she
knew it wouldnrsquot be good Tey never were
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school psychologist Katie had another
meltdown todayrdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school nurse Katiersquos here with another
stomachacherdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher Katiersquos hand 1047298apping has really increased Teother kids have noticedrdquo
Over the years the calls rom the school had been relatively sparse
maybe one or two every ew months But in the 1047297rst ew months o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 512
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 13 ]
Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade year Gina had received more calls than the Jerry
Lewis telethon
With a disorder that affected her ability to relate to other childrenKatie was different rom other kids and the struggles o dealing with
her differences were escalating along with the school calls
Remember to breathe Gina reminded hersel as she shakily put
down her cocoa cup picked up the phone and braced hersel or the
bad news that was sure to come
ldquoH-H-Hellordquo she stuttered
ldquoMrs Gallagher this is Katiersquos teacherrdquo
ldquoYes what is it Whatrsquos wrongrdquoldquoWell something very upsetting happened at school todayrdquo
ldquoWhat was itrdquo Gina asked impatiently
ldquoWell or the holiday break I asked the class to write a snow1047298ake
essay rdquo
It might have been stress or her warped sense o humor but Gina
started to giggle
ldquoMrs Gallagher are you thererdquoldquoYes itrsquos just that I ail to see how anything upsetting can come out
o a snow1047298ake essayrdquo
ldquoWell this is very seriousrdquo
ldquoGo ahead Irsquom listeningrdquo Gina responded 1047297ghting back laughter
ldquoMrs Gallagher in her snow1047298ake essay your daughter threatened
to blow up the schoolrdquo
ldquoCome againrdquo
ldquoYou heard me Katie wrote a snow1047298ake essay and threatened toblow up the schoolrdquo
Gina couldnrsquot help but laugh
ldquoWe have to take these things very seriously Mrs Gallagherrdquo
ldquoIrsquom sure you do but you canrsquot honestly think Katie would hurt
anybody She wouldnrsquot hurt a 1047298y She doesnrsquot even like eating animal
crackersrdquo
ldquoBelieve me Mrs Gallagher Irsquom not araid o KatierdquoldquoYou shouldnrsquot be Irsquom not sure she knows how to build a bomb
She barely has her multiplication tables downrdquo Gina responded tip-
ping back in her chair and twisting the phone cord around her 1047297ngers
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 412
[ 12 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
snow1047298akes as light and airy But the one in this essay It was dark and
heavy
As she read it Gina instantly elt the weight o the dark wordsbeore her
I I were a snow1047298ake alling I would be sneaky and clever too
and when I all I would strike Afer I am going to my school
it is time or revenge As Irsquom walking down I ran into the prin-
cipal and knocked her over Oh no I ran over the principal Oh
well Irsquoll just leave her there Te students are working not or
long Here I go Fear me ha ha ha I charge right into the schooland damage everything beore my school blows up 5 4 3 2 1
Bye school I wonrsquot be missing it I 1047298ow away ast Now what
should I do next now that my school is gone World and I have
a present or all a bomb And also one last thing beware o me
Oh itrsquos not like Gina wasnrsquot warned about it Earlier in the day
while she was working comortably in her warm home offi ce shersquodreceived a call rom Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade teacher When the phone rang
and the name o her school district 1047298ashed on the caller ID Gina
knew something was wrong Te letters may have appeared small but
to Gina they lit up like a nuclear meltdown warning ldquoDanger Will
Robinsonrdquo
Almost instantly Gina elt a amiliar burn in her stomach ldquoOh
no Not againrdquo she cried out startling her little dog Max who was
napping by her eetGina had no idea what the call was about this time though she
knew it wouldnrsquot be good Tey never were
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school psychologist Katie had another
meltdown todayrdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher itrsquos the school nurse Katiersquos here with another
stomachacherdquo
ldquoMrs Gallagher Katiersquos hand 1047298apping has really increased Teother kids have noticedrdquo
Over the years the calls rom the school had been relatively sparse
maybe one or two every ew months But in the 1047297rst ew months o
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 512
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 13 ]
Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade year Gina had received more calls than the Jerry
Lewis telethon
With a disorder that affected her ability to relate to other childrenKatie was different rom other kids and the struggles o dealing with
her differences were escalating along with the school calls
Remember to breathe Gina reminded hersel as she shakily put
down her cocoa cup picked up the phone and braced hersel or the
bad news that was sure to come
ldquoH-H-Hellordquo she stuttered
ldquoMrs Gallagher this is Katiersquos teacherrdquo
ldquoYes what is it Whatrsquos wrongrdquoldquoWell something very upsetting happened at school todayrdquo
ldquoWhat was itrdquo Gina asked impatiently
ldquoWell or the holiday break I asked the class to write a snow1047298ake
essay rdquo
It might have been stress or her warped sense o humor but Gina
started to giggle
ldquoMrs Gallagher are you thererdquoldquoYes itrsquos just that I ail to see how anything upsetting can come out
o a snow1047298ake essayrdquo
ldquoWell this is very seriousrdquo
ldquoGo ahead Irsquom listeningrdquo Gina responded 1047297ghting back laughter
ldquoMrs Gallagher in her snow1047298ake essay your daughter threatened
to blow up the schoolrdquo
ldquoCome againrdquo
ldquoYou heard me Katie wrote a snow1047298ake essay and threatened toblow up the schoolrdquo
Gina couldnrsquot help but laugh
ldquoWe have to take these things very seriously Mrs Gallagherrdquo
ldquoIrsquom sure you do but you canrsquot honestly think Katie would hurt
anybody She wouldnrsquot hurt a 1047298y She doesnrsquot even like eating animal
crackersrdquo
ldquoBelieve me Mrs Gallagher Irsquom not araid o KatierdquoldquoYou shouldnrsquot be Irsquom not sure she knows how to build a bomb
She barely has her multiplication tables downrdquo Gina responded tip-
ping back in her chair and twisting the phone cord around her 1047297ngers
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 512
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 13 ]
Katiersquos 1047297fh-grade year Gina had received more calls than the Jerry
Lewis telethon
With a disorder that affected her ability to relate to other childrenKatie was different rom other kids and the struggles o dealing with
her differences were escalating along with the school calls
Remember to breathe Gina reminded hersel as she shakily put
down her cocoa cup picked up the phone and braced hersel or the
bad news that was sure to come
ldquoH-H-Hellordquo she stuttered
ldquoMrs Gallagher this is Katiersquos teacherrdquo
ldquoYes what is it Whatrsquos wrongrdquoldquoWell something very upsetting happened at school todayrdquo
ldquoWhat was itrdquo Gina asked impatiently
ldquoWell or the holiday break I asked the class to write a snow1047298ake
essay rdquo
It might have been stress or her warped sense o humor but Gina
started to giggle
ldquoMrs Gallagher are you thererdquoldquoYes itrsquos just that I ail to see how anything upsetting can come out
o a snow1047298ake essayrdquo
ldquoWell this is very seriousrdquo
ldquoGo ahead Irsquom listeningrdquo Gina responded 1047297ghting back laughter
ldquoMrs Gallagher in her snow1047298ake essay your daughter threatened
to blow up the schoolrdquo
ldquoCome againrdquo
ldquoYou heard me Katie wrote a snow1047298ake essay and threatened toblow up the schoolrdquo
Gina couldnrsquot help but laugh
ldquoWe have to take these things very seriously Mrs Gallagherrdquo
ldquoIrsquom sure you do but you canrsquot honestly think Katie would hurt
anybody She wouldnrsquot hurt a 1047298y She doesnrsquot even like eating animal
crackersrdquo
ldquoBelieve me Mrs Gallagher Irsquom not araid o KatierdquoldquoYou shouldnrsquot be Irsquom not sure she knows how to build a bomb
She barely has her multiplication tables downrdquo Gina responded tip-
ping back in her chair and twisting the phone cord around her 1047297ngers
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 612
[ 14 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
ldquoIrsquove made the principal aware and she doesnrsquot think we need to
alert the policerdquo
ldquoTe police You thought about calling the policerdquo Gina askedstraightening up in her chair as she pictured her sweet ten-year-old
in prison stripes
ldquoYes As I said we have to take these things seriouslyrdquo
ldquoCan I see a copy o this essayrdquo Gina blurted out
ldquoO course Irsquoll send it home in Katiersquos backpackrdquo
By the end o the school day Gina was rantically pacing at the bus
stop waiting or her ldquoLittle Unabomberrdquo to come home
ldquoHi Momrdquo Katie said climbing off the bus in her usual awkwardway o two eet on a step
ldquoGive me your backpack I need your backpackrdquo Gina demanded
ldquoSheesh Hererdquo Katie replied slowly shrugging it off her little
shoulders
ldquoHurry up Hurry uprdquo Gina shouted wiggling her anxious 1047297ngers
in Katiersquos ace
Holding the backpack in ront o her as though it were a dirty dia-per Gina raced into the house and took the backpack into her offi ce
where she opened it extracted the weighty essay inside and started
to read A part o Gina had thought it was all a mistake or a joke but
when she saw her daughterrsquos name above the dark words on the page
she was smacked with the reality o it
Oh my God I have no idea whatrsquos going on in my daughterrsquos head
Is she suicidal Does she want to hurt others
Distraught that she could be having these thoughts about a childshersquod raised Gina immediately conronted Katie
ldquoKatherine did you write thisrdquo she asked staring down at her
daughter and using Katiersquos ormal ldquoyoursquore in troublerdquo name
ldquoYes Mom Are you mad Am I in trouble Do I have to go to
the principalrdquo Katie asked tears alling down her ace leaving red
blotches on her sensitive cheeks
ldquoKatie why did you do this Do you know how serious this isrdquoGina cried
ldquoMom I didnrsquot mean it I did it to be unny Te boys next to me
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 712
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 15 ]
were talking about hurting the principal and I just wanted to make
them laughrdquo
ldquoWhy Why would you do thatrdquoldquoI wanted to 1047297t in Mom Irsquom different I hate being different All
I want to do is 1047297t in Te kids all think Irsquom weird I canrsquot take it any-
more Momrdquo Katie said bursting into ull sobs
ldquoOh honey donrsquot say that Yoursquore not different Yoursquore just like ev-
erybody elserdquo Gina said but deep in her heart she knew her daughter
was right And it hurt her like no other hurt she had ever experienced
Gina hugged Katie and walked her to her room ldquoHoney Mommy
has some things she needs to take care o Wersquoll talk about this laterrdquoTen she went into her room closed the door and cried like a baby
silently asking God Why did you give my daughter this disability
Why Why does she have to suffer And why me Irsquom not strong enough
or this I canrsquot handle this
For the 1047297rst time in her thirty-eight years o living Gina Gallagher
elt like she wanted to die She couldnrsquot bear the thought o being there
to watch her daughter struggle or the rest o her lie
Pattyrsquos ldquoWild Riderdquo into Reality
Our mother always said ldquoTere must be nothing worse than los-
ing a childrdquo Patty never understood what she meant until she had
a child o her own and thought she might lose her though in a di-
erent way
ldquoDonrsquot leave me Come back Mom help merdquoldquoKeep walking Michael Donrsquot look backrdquo Patty commanded her
husband tightly squeezing his hand as they walked together down the
cold sterile hallway
She paused as Michael stopped and removed his steamed-up
glasses to wipe away the tears 1047298owing beneath them
What are we doing here Patty wondered to hersel Tis canrsquot be
happening She had afer all led a happy normal childhood Te only hospi-
tal in her childhood was General Hospital Now here she was leaving
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 812
[ 16 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
Why In-Patient HospitalizationWas Necessary
Patty brought Jennifer to the hospital for two reasons First she
wanted to ensure Jenniferrsquos safety and the safety of her two otherchildren Secondly she wanted to get an accurate diagnosis for
Jennifer LeeAnn Karg MEd explains why in-patient
hospitalization was necessary
In-patient hospitalizations are essential for effective
emergency psychiatric consultation They provide the safest
environment for the greatest number of specialists to
simultaneously evaluate your child under controlled
environmental and medical conditions
her eleven-year-old daughter Jennier all by hersel in a real hospital
A mental hospital
At that moment Patty wasnrsquot sure i she had lost her daughterorever But the truth was she had been losing Jennier or a ew years
She actually knew something was terribly wrong when Jennier
was just eight Patty and her amily were on a dream amily vacation
in Disney Worldmdashldquothe Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Te evening parade had just ended Mickey Minnie and the gang
had 1047298oated away into the sunset leaving Pattyrsquos amily and her a-
vorite charactersmdashour mom dad brother and Ginamdashbehind Patty
couldnrsquot help but smile as she looked up and down the colorul streetsat all the amilies grinning rom mouse ear to mouse ear
Tat is until she was interrupted by an all-too-amiliar and pain-
ul screech
ldquoWhy do they have to leave Whyrdquo shouted eight-year-old
Jennier who was sitting on the curb hugging the Minnie Mouse on
her sweatshirt and 1047298ailing her legs
ldquoOh thatrsquos just great Itrsquos even happening hererdquo muttered Patty
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 912
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 17 ]
helplessly realizing that the Magic Kingdom the place where ldquodreams
come truerdquo was about to turn into her personal nightmare
It really shouldnrsquot have surprised her Over the past ew monthsJennierrsquos moods had become increasingly unpredictable She would
cry or hours and become violent about the smallest things
ldquoWhy Why canrsquot I wear my jelly shoesrdquo
ldquoBecause Jenns itrsquos thirty degrees outside and snowingrdquo
ldquoWAAAAAHHHH I hate yourdquo
She was also becoming alarmingly destructive
ldquoJennier Marie What are you doing with my scissors and the
amily picturerdquoldquoIrsquom cutting mysel out I donrsquot want to be part o this amily any-
morerdquo
And during that dream vacation to Disneymdashthe one Jennier had
been excited about or months (ldquoHow many days till we go Mom
ell me ell merdquo)mdashher moods were just as unpredictable Somehow
Patty had actually thought Jennrsquos problems would disappear but in-
stead o seeing Snow White Patty saw her daughter magically trans-orm into Grumpy Saddy and Angry
ldquoWhy do I have to go in the haunted mansion I already have a
witch or a motherrdquo
Te sadness was the hardest part Jenn seemed to have no interest
in the places the amily went or the people who accompanied us
ldquoNo Mommy I donrsquot eel like riding Mr oadrsquos Wild Ride with
Nanardquo
ldquoHow about going or a swim Your cousins are all in the poolrdquoldquoNo thank you I want to stay here in the hotel roomrdquo
As Patty dragged a screaming Jennier (ldquoI hate you Irsquom going to
kill mysel i we leaverdquo) through the massive crowds toward the exit
to the park she glanced over at her our-year-old son Mikey who
was resting comortably in his stroller Why canrsquot Jennier be more like
him Hersquos so easy Patty thought while Jennier hissed ldquoI hate you
or making me leaverdquo and hurled a stuffed Minnie Mouse at Pattyrsquoshead
ldquoJenns honey itrsquos okayrdquo said Pattyrsquos husband Michael bending
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1012
[ 18 ] SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERF ECT KID
down to pat her back ldquoMickey and Minnie just have to go home now
and so do we Wersquoll come back I promiserdquo
ldquoItrsquos all her aultrdquo Jennier screeched pointing at PattyldquoYou stupid jerk Jennierrdquo shouted her ldquosympatheticrdquo big sister
Jules ldquoDonrsquot talk to Mom like thatrdquo
ldquoJules Please shut uprdquo a stressed-out Patty yelled People in mouse
ears stopped to give her looks o disgust Oh she knew what they were
thinkingmdashHey bad mother why donrsquot you just smack that spoiled rotten
kid Beore she had Jennier she would have thought the same thing
Now she knew not to judge She also knew she had to get Jennier
out o theremdashast Te last thing the Disney PR people needed ontheir happy streets was a real-lie Cruella De Vil screaming at her
kid
Dragging Jennier ahead with newound purpose (Irsquove got to get
this bratty kid the hell out o here ) Patty tried to calm hersel She
began humming her avorite Disney songs to maintain her sanity
Both a little scared Beauty and the Beast
wenty minutes later when Jennier had screamed hersel into ex-haustion Pattyrsquos amily exited the tram to the parking lot and walked
toward their rental car When they got to the car an exhausted Patty
climbed into the passenger seat and told her husband ldquoMichael letrsquos
get the hell out o here I canrsquot stand to spend one more minute in the
Happiest Place on Earthrdquo
Our Neighbors in CrazyvilleAt the time we experienced these lie-altering incidents we thought
we were alone and no one understood our struggles Since then we
have met hundreds o parents who have experienced their own pain-
ul realizations about their children Parents who have had to com-
mit their children or see them locked up in prison Whatrsquos amazed us
is how these people have managed not only to survive these experi-
ences but also to learn rom them We discovered this at our 1047297rstspeaking engagement when a lovely woman announced ldquoYeah my
bipolar son is in jail againrdquo
ldquoTatrsquos terrible Wersquore so sorryrdquo we said
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1112
SNOWFLAK ES AND DISN EY WORLD [ 19 ]
ldquoIrsquom not At least I know hersquos sae off drugs and getting three
squares a dayrdquo
Wersquore pretty sure her parental antasies never involved her son inan orange jumpsuit but somehow shersquos managed to ocus on the posi-
tive and make the most o her time in Crazyville
892019 Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian - Excerpt
httpslidepdfcomreaderfullshut-up-about-your-perfect-kid-by-gina-gallagher-and-patricia-konjoian-excerpt 1212