BE a real MANSession 8

Communication

BE a real man – God’s Way 1

The real man and...◦ Week 1: a friend◦ Week 2: his devotion to God◦ Week 3: prayer◦ Week 4: his marriage◦ Week 5: real husbanding◦ Week 6: his wife’s sin◦ Week 7: real understanding◦ Week 8: communication

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Outline for series

“Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17, NIV84)

“With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape.” (Proverbs 11:9, NIV84)

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18, NIV84)

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4, NIV84)

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Scripture Readings

Verbal Communication

Non Verbal Communication

Circuit Jammers

Love Languages

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Outline

Verbal Communication

Jim Burns, Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth and Encouragement

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The process of sharing information with another person in such a way that the sender’s message is understood as he intended it.

Unless a the sender and receiver has come to a common meaning, they have not communication effectively

Illustration

(Wayne Mack, Your family God’s way)

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Communication – a definition

Be empathetic◦ Put yourself in her shoes◦ Difficult to accept advice if other person not understand

Listen◦ James 1:19 – Quick to hear, slow to speak, anger◦ Reasons for listening in Proverbs

15:31 18:13 18:15 19:20 21:28

Express your expectation◦ Honesty, integrity, courage

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Principles: good communication 1

Need help? It is biblical◦ “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers

make victory sure.” (Proverbs 11:14, NIV84)

Schedule communication times◦ Business/administrative/spiritual/dates

Develop problem solving plan◦ Find the real problem◦ List alternatives solutions◦ Select plan of action◦ Establish accountability◦ Set up evaluation procedure

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Principles: good communication 2

Nonverbal Communication –I heard what you didn’t say

Wayne Mack, Your family God’s way – Developing and sustaining relationships in the home

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Much overlooked Eyes – way we look/don’t look at each other Arms/hands Dress Body language (sit/stand) Use of time – will show values Laugh/don’t laugh Willingness to help

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Non Verbal Communication 1

Know that...

You are silently communicating◦ Look angry but really only concentrating?◦ Look disinterested but actually listening?◦ Look bored but actually tired?◦ How do these affect the other person?

You can benefit from paying attention◦ Be honest – deny envy when we look envious?◦ Capture every thought, bring into obedience to Christ (2 Cor 10:5)

You can misinterpret◦ Rabbi and the priest

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Nonverbal Communication 2

Circuit JammersWayne Mack, Your family God’s way – Developing and sustaining relationships in the home

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Disparity between verbal/non verbal comms

Overtalk◦ Monopolising, gossip, defensive speech, takeover speech,

motor mouth, badgering◦ Sinful reasons: Pride, selfishness, control◦ Non sinful reason: loneliness, poor listening

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32, NIV84)

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Circuit Jammers 1

Falsehood◦ Lying, exaggeration, misrepresentation

Unwholesome talk◦ Sidetracking, verbal slamming, cancellation

speech, gunpowder speech, ventriloquist speech, final word speech, excessive negative talk, mind-reading speech, cotton candy

Identify jammer:◦ Prov 12:18, Prov 17:9, Prov 10:18, Prov 13:3

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Circuit Jammers 2

Love LanguagesGary Chapman

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1. Words of affirmation◦ Tongue has power of life and death (Prov 18:21)◦ Appreciation, compliments, gratitude, affirmation when not present

2. Quality Time◦ Attention, togetherness, quality conversation, quality activities

3. Receiving Gifts◦ Physical, self

4. Acts of Service◦ House work, cooking, errands

5. Physical Touch◦ In passing, intimacy

The five love languages - Gary Chapman

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Love Languages

1. What does your spouse do (or fail to do) that hurts you most deeply? Opposite of that is probably your primary love language

2. What have you most often requested from your spouse? That is probably your primary love language

3. In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? That is most probably your primary love language

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Determine your Love Language

Your Family God’s Way. Developing and sustaining relationships in the home – Wayne Mack

The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman

Creating an intimate marriage. Rekindle romance through affection, warmth and encouragement – Jim Burns

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Recommended Reading

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Questions