Session 3 SPM Score a 2014

7/23/2019 Session 3 SPM Score a 2014

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Unity

Activity

The following two paragraphs were written by students on the topic “Why Students

Drop Out of College” !ead the" and decide which one "a#es its point "ore

clearly and effectively$ and why

Paragraph A

Why Students Drop Out

Students drop out of college for "any reasons %irst of all$ so"e students

are bored in school These students "ay enter college e&pecting nonstop fun or aseries of fascinating courses When they find out that college is often routine$ they

'uic#ly lose interest They do not want to ta#e dull re'uired courses or spend their

nights studying$ and so they drop out Students also drop out of college because the

wor# is harder than they thought it would be These students "ay have "ade decent

grades in high school si"ply by showing up for class (n college$ however$ they

"ay have to prepare for two)hour e&a"s$ write fifteen)page ter" papers$ or "a#e

detailed presentations to a class The hard wor# co"es as a shoc#$ and students give

up *erhaps the "ost co""on reason students drop on is that they are having

personal or e"otional proble"s +ounger students$ especially$ "ay be attending

college at an age when they are also feeling confused$ lonely$ or depressed These

students "ay have proble"s with roo""ates$ fa"ily$ boyfriends$ or girlfriends

They beco"e too unhappy to deal with both hard acade"ic wor# and e"otional

troubles %or "any types of students$ dropping out see"s to be the only solution

they can i"agine

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Paragraph B

Student Dropouts

There are three "ain reasons students drop out of college So"e students$

for one thing$ are not really sure they want to be in school and lac# the desire to do

the wor# When e&a"s co"e up$ or when a course re'uires a difficult pro,ect or

ter" paper$ these studentship not do the re'uired studying or research -ventually$

they "ay drop out because their grades are so poor they are about to flun# out

anyway Such students so"eti"es co"e bac# to school later with a co"pletely

different attitude about school Other students drop out for financial reasons The

pressures of paying tuition$ buying te&tboo#s$ and possibly having to support

the"selves can be overwhel"ing These students can often be helped by the school

because financial aid is available$ and so"e schools offer wor#)study progra"s

%inally$ students drop out because they have personal proble"s They

cannot concentrate on their courses because they are unhappy at ho"e$ they are

lonely$ or they are having trouble with boyfriends or girlfriends (nstructors should

suggest that such troubled students see counselors or ,oin support groups (f

instructors would ta#e a "ore personal interest in their students$ "ore students

would "a#e it through troubled ti"es

Fill in the blanks: *aragraph ....... "a#es its point "ore clearly and effectively

because...............................................

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Support

Activity

The following student paragraphs were written on the topic “A /uality of So"e

*erson +ou 0now” 1oth are unified$ but one co""unicates "ore clearly and

effectively Which one$ and why2

Paragraph A

3y /uic#)Te"pered %ather

3y father is easily angered by nor"al everyday "ista#es One day "y

father told "e to wash the car and cut the grass ( did not hear e&actly what he saidand so ( as#ed hi" to repeat it Then he went into a hysterical "ood and shouted$

“Can4t you hear25 Another ti"e he as#ed "y "other to go to the store and buy

groceries with a fifty)dollar bill and he told her to spend no "ore than twenty

dollars She spent only twenty )two dollars As soon as he found out$ he

i""ediately too# the change fro" her and told her not to go anywhere else for hi"6

he did not spea# to her the rest of the day 3y father even gives "y older brothers a

hard ti"e with his irritable "oods One day he told the" to be ho"e fro" their

dates by "idnight6 they ca"e ho"e at 7897: ;e infor"ed the" that$ they were

grounded for three wee#s %or "y father$ "a#ing a si"ple "ista#e is li#e

co""itting a cri"e

Paragraph B

3y <enerous <randfather

3y grandfather is the "ost generous person ( #now ;e has given up a life of his

own in order to give his grandchildren everything they want =ot only has he given

up "any years of his life to raise his children properly$ but he is now sacrificing

"any "ore years to his grandchildren ;is generosity is also evident in his

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relationship with his neighbors$ his friends and "e"bers of his church ;e has been

responsible for "any good deeds and has always been there to help all the people

around hi" in ti"es of trouble -veryone #nows that he will gladly lend a helping

hand ;e i s s o ge n er ou s that you al"ost have to feel sorry for hi" (f one day

he suddenly beca"e selfish$ it would be earthsha#ing That4s "y grandfather

Fill in the blanks: *aragraph ....... "a#es its point "ore clearly and effectively

because...............................................

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CO;-!-=C-

Activity

The following two paragraphs were written on the topic “The 1est or Worst

>ob +ou -ver ;ad” 1oth are unified and both are supported ;owever$ one

co""unicates "ore clearly and effectively Which one$ and why2

Paragraph A

*antry ;elper

3y worst ,ob was as a pantry helper in one of San Diego4s well)#nown

restaurants ( had an assistant fro" three to si& in the afternoon who did little but

stand around and eat the whole ti"e she was there She #ept an ear open for the

sound of the bac# door opening$ which was a sure sign the boss was co"ing in The

boss would testily say to "e$ “+ou4ve got a lot of things to do here$ Alice Try to

get a "ove on” ( would co"e in at two o4cloc# to relieve the wo"an on the

"orning shift (f her day was busy$ that "eant ( would have to prepare salads$ slice

"eat and cheese$ and so on Orders for sandwiches and cold platters would co"e in

and have to be prepared The worst thing about the ,ob was that the heat in the

#itchen co"bined with "y nerves$ would give "e an upset sto"ach by seven

o4cloc# al"ost every night ( "ight be going to the storeroo" to get supplies$ and

one of the waitresses would tell "e she wanted a bacon$ lettuce and to"ato

sandwich on white toast ( would put the toast in and head for the supply roo"$ and

a waitress would holler out that her custo"er was in a hurry <reen flies would

co"e in through the torn screen in the #itchen window and sting "e ( was getting

paid only ?@B an hour At five o4cloc#$ when the dinner rush began$ ( would be

dead tired !oaches scurried in all direction whenever ( "oved a bo& or pic#ed up a

head of lettuce to cut

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*aragraph 1

3y Worst >ob

The worst ,ob ( ever had was as a waiter at the Westside (nn %irst of all$"any of the people ( waited on were rude When a ba#ed potato was hard inside

or a salad was flat or their stea# wasn4t ,ust the way they wanted it$ they bla"ed

"e$ rather than the #itchen Or they would as# "e to light their cigarettes or chase

flies fro" their tables$ or even ta#e the children to the bathroo" Also$ ( had to

contend not only with the custo"ers but with the #itchen staff as well The coo#s

and busboys were often undependable and surly (f ( didnt treat the" ,ust right$ (

would wind up having to apologie to custo"ers because their "eals ca"e late or

their water glasses weren4t filled Another reason ( didn4t li#e the ,ob was that (

was always "oving 1ecause of the constant line at the door$ as soon as one group

left$ another would ta#e its place ( usually had only a twenty)"inute lunch brea#

and a ten "inute brea# in al"ost nine hours of wor# ( thin# ( could have put up

with the ,ob if ( had been able to pause and rest "ore often The last and "ost

i"portant reason ( hated the ,ob was "y boss She played favourites$ giving so"e

of the waiters and waitresses the best)tipping repeat custo"ers and preferences on

holidays She would hover around during "y brea# to "a#e sure ( didnt ta#e a

second "ore than the allotted ti"e And even when ( helped out by wor#ing

through a brea#$ she never had an appreciative word but would ,ust tell "e not to

be late for wor# the ne&t day

%ill in the blan#s9 *aragraph ......."a#es its point "ore clearly and effectively

because ..............................................

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Sentence S#ills

Activity

Two versions of a paragraph are given below 1oth are unified$ supported and

organied$ but one version co""unicates "ore clearly and effectively Which one$

and why2

Paragraph A

%alling Asleep Anywhere

7There are ti"es when people are so tired that they fall asleep al"ost

anywhere 8%or e&a"ple$ there is a lot of sleeping on the bus or train on the way

ho"e fro" wor# in the evenings @A "an will be reading the newspaper$ and seconds

later it appears as if he is trying to eat it EOr he will fall asleep on the shoulder of the

stranger sitting ne&t to hi" :Another place where unplanned naps go on is the

lecture hall ln so"e classes$ a student will start snoring so loudly that the professor

has to as# another student to sha#e the sleeper awa#e FA "ore e"barrassing

situation occurs when a student leans on one elbow and starts drifting off to sleep

GThe weight of the head pushes the elbow off the des#$ and this "o"entu" carries

the rest of the body along The student wa#es up on the floor with no "e"ory of

getting there 7BThe worst ti"e to fall asleep is when driving a car 77*olice reports are

full of accidents that occur when people lose consciousness and go off the road 78 (f

the drivers are luc#y$ they are not seriously hurt 7@Bne wo"ans car$ for instance$

went into the river 7EShe wo#e up in four feet of water and thought it was

raining7:When people are really tired$ nothing will stop the" fro" falling asleep)no

"atter where they are

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Paragraph B

%alling Asleep Anywhere

7There are ti"es when people are so tired that they fall asleep al"ost

anywhere 8%or e&a"ple$ on the bus or train on the way ho"e fro" wor# @A "an

will be reading the newspaper$ seconds later it appears as if he is trying to eat it EOr

he will fall asleep on the shoulder of the stranger sitting ne&t to hi" :Another place

where unplanned naps go on are in the lecture hall ln so"e classes$ a student will

start snoring so loudly that the professor has to as# another student to sha#e the

sleeper awa#e FA "ore e"barrassing situation occurs when a student leans on one

elbow and starting to drift off to sleep GThe weight of the head push the elbow off

the des#$ and this "o"entu" carries the rest of the body along HThe student wa#es

up on the floor with no "e"ory of getting there7B The worst ti"e to fall asleep is

when driving a car 77*olice reports are full of accidents that occur when people

con# out and go off the road 78lf the drivers are luc#y they are not seriously hurt

7@Bne wo"ans car$ for instance went into the river 7EShe wo#e up in four feet of

water l:And thought it was raining 7When people are really tired$ nothing will stop

the" fro" falling asleep)no "atter where they are

Fill in the blanks: *aragraph ........"a#es its point "ore clearly and

effectively

because............................................................

.

8



EXAMPLE OF EXPOSITORY COMPOSITION

Cell phones - One of our greatest technologies misused

9

INTRODUCTION

BODY

- Telephones are very convenient and fast. People get immediate feedback

- The postal service is popular for business communication

- Telegrams are used for urgent mail

- Facsimile transmission service caters for the need to send documents quickly

- Technological advances in computer system for electronic mail has been

invented to transmit messages quickly via the computer network

- Smart phone takes over the function

- Communication in the olden days using smoke and homing pigeons

- Faster means of communication nowadays using telephones, mails, facsimile

machines, electronic mails and smart hones

CONCLUSION

- Faster and more efficient means of communication has made the world a



TOPIC OF ARGUMENTATIVE WRITING

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(n the olden days$ smoke was used to send messages to people in theneighbouring villages Homing pigeons have also been used as

messengers in an age when travelling fro" one village to another ta#es

days ;owever$ inventions and technological advance"ent have cutdown travelling ti"e tre"endously (n fact$ people do not even need to"ove fro" one place to another to convey their "essages Nowadays we

can use telephones, mails, facsimile machines, electronic mail and even

smart phones to co""unicate with people in different parts of the world

INTRODUCTION

Telephone has beco"e a necessity in ho"es When Ale&ander <raha"1ell in vented the telephone$ it probably never occurred to hi" that itwould beco"e so popular The telephone makes communication very

convenient and fast %riends and business counterparts on the other sideof the globe can be contacted by ,ust pressing a few buttons Thecharges$ especially for international calls$ "ay be high but people prefertelephones to "ail Telephones also can have an added advantage in thatwe can get immediate feedback Despite the advantage telephones have over "ail in ter"s of speed$ thenu"ber of letters that travel round the world has increased with thegrowth in world population Surveys show that the nu"ber of letters sentthrough the postal service has re"ained constant through the years

People in business still need to send letters because transactions need to

be recorded in black and white At times when the mail is urgent, telegrams are sent n view of the need

for documents to be transmitted !uickly, scientists have invented the

facsimile transmission service Telephone lines are used as a channel forsending docu"ents Iirtually all businesses and organiations subscribeto the facsi"ile trans"ission because it enables mail to be sent at the

speed of a telephone call =e&t$ electronic "ails services appeared Unli#e facsi"ile whereby the"essage is printed on paper$ the electronic mail sends and stores

messages in the computer network The co"puters have to be lin#ed tothe networ# in order for electronic "ail to be trans"itted t is "ust as

fast as facsimile transmission and it also can be printed out A more recent technological innovation is smart phones (t appears tota#e over the function not only for sending the docu"ents andco""unications in ti"e but also can be used to ta#e pictures and videosThis new technology with the help of internet connection "a#es allinfor"ation in our finger tips

BODY

#hese technological innovations in communication have made the world

a smaller place 3ail which used to ta#e days and wee#s to arrive can besent and received in a "atter of "inutes *eople are brought "uch closer together and things get done "ore efficiently

CONCLUSION



Private Tuition - Good or Bad?

Sam!e o" Ar#umentative Como$ition

11

any students go for private tuition

!"ecessary for those who needhelp, # Paragraph !

large classes in school, individual

attention in small groups

$ Some teachers unapproachable # # Paragraph $

some students timid, tutors more

patient.

% "ot all teachers are good # # Paragraph %tutors can be chosen, notteachers

& "ot all tutors are trained'qualified # Paragraph &

( ore interested in profit # # Paragraph (

some tuition classes are large

) Too time#consuming # # Paragraph )

tiring for students less able to

to concentrate.

ost students don*t need tuition

# must pay+attention in class



t is now fashionable for many alaysian students

to go for private tuition. n fact, most students feel

insecure if they do not have e-tra tuition after school.

sn*t that correct/-tra tuition may be necessary for some of you.

For e-ample, some of you are weak in athematics.

0ithout help, you may be left behind. any of you

are in classes which are large. 1our teachers cannot

give special attention to weak students. 2ut, private

tutors can.Some teachers may seem unapproachable. Timid

students feel afraid to ask questions. They don*t

want to look stupid. n a small tuition group, such

students may be feel confident. Tutors can also

afford to be more patient and allow students to take

their time. They do not have to worry about completing

the syllabus."ot all teachers are e-perts in their sub3ects.

Unfortunately, you cannot choose your teachers. 4n

the other hand, you can shop around for good tutors

recommended by friends. 1ou also can change tutors

whom you find unsatisfactory.However, not all tutors are wonderfull either .

"owadays, new graduates 3oin tuition centres while

waiting for other 3obs. They are not trained teachers.

They leave when they find something better to do.

They are not bothered about completing the syllabusbefore they resign, so be careful.In addition, tuitioncentres exist to make a profit .

Classes are often large#there may be as many as

twenty to a class. This means you pay for individual

attention, but do not get it. They have also been

cases of tuition centres losing after having collected

fees in advance.Finally e-tra tuition takes up too much of

student*s time. 5 lot of time is wasted on travelling

to and from the tuition centre. Some of you treat

tuition classes as social gatherings. 1ou can actuallyuse your time more profitably on hobbies or personal revision. 5fter

attending tuition classes, you may be too tired to do your homework

or your schoolwork.f you pay attention in class and do your revision regularly, there is

no need for e-tra tuition. The money you would save could be used to

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buy revision books or put aside for furthering your education in the

future. Personally, I feel private tuition is a waste of hard-

earned money.

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Te"plate 7

ELABORATION

INTRODUCTION

Public

transport

example of p!l"# $%a&'po%$

()o 'e $)e p!l"# $%a&'po%$

*OINT 1+,AIN

IDEA 1

L"$$le -ama.e

$o e&/"%o&me&$

le'' $%aff"#

le'' a##"-e&$'

le'' poll$"o&

*OINT 2+ ,AIN

IDEA 2

I$ "'

#o&/e&"e&#e

fa'$e%

&o $%aff"# am'

%e-#e' '$%e'' a&- a##"-e&$'

*OINT 3+ ,AIN

IDEA 3

a/e' %e'o%#e'

'a/e' mo&e

'a/e' pe$%ol

mo%e mo&e fo% o$)e% $)"&.'

CONCLUION

.o/e%&me&$ ')ol- e&#o%a.e people

"mp%o/e o% a"% al"$

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ELABORATION

INTRODUCTION

*OINT 1+,AIN

IDEA 1

*OINT 2+ ,AIN

IDEA 2

*OINT 3+ ,AIN

IDEA 3

CONCLUION

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Documents

Session 3 SPM Score a 2014