Sentence structure

5 techniques to keep sentence simple and direct

• Expressing the core of the message in the subject and verb

• Avoiding noun cluster• Writing short sentence• Using clear pronouns• Putting parallel ideas in parallel form

What is a sentence?

Fat causes high blood pressuresubject verb completer

•Make the topic the subject of the sentence•Put the action in the verb

Make the topic the subject of the sentence

• BAD: The children with arteriovenous shunts had the shunts opened, heparin injected, and arterial and venous sides of the shunt clamped.

• GOOD: In the children who had arteriovenous shunts, the shunts were opened, injected with heparin, and clamped at the arterial and venous sides of the shunts.

subject

subject

Put the action in the verb

• Verb express action in English.

• If a action is expressed by the main verb, the sentence is natural and direct and easy to understand.

• If the action is expressed in a noun, the sentence is oblique, tangled, and more difficult to understand.

• When the verb in a sentence is made into a noun, another meaningful verb must be used.

• BAD: An increase in heart rate occurred• GOOD: Heart rate increased

• BAD: The new drug caused a decrease in heart rate• GOOD: The new drug decreased heart rate

• Prepositions are words such as “of”, “for”, “on”, “in”, “to”, “with”. No verb should be used.– In this experiment, we examined their heart rate after taking drug.

• To make a long and dense prepositional phase clear, switch to a conjunction followed by a subject and a verb.

• BAD: With hypoxia of longer duration or severer degree, the shortening phase may get progressively briefer.

• GOOD: When hypoxia lasts longer or is more sever, the shortening phase may get progressively briefer.

Action inappropriately in a prepositional phrase

Action is appropriately in a noun introduced by “There is”

• “There is” is a weak way to start a sentence.

• BAD: There is alternation of phospholipid metabolites in lipid of white matter signal hyperintensites.

• GOOD: Phospholipid metabolites are altered in lipid of white matter signal hyperintensites.

Action inappropriately in an adjective instead of in a verb and a adjective

• The sentence is more powerful when a verb is added.

• BAD: These results demonstrate the essential role of the D1 receptor in the locomotor stimulant effect of cocaine.

• GOOD: These result demonstrate that the D1 receptor is essential in the locomotor stimulant effect of cocaine.

Keep the Verb: Nouns ratio low

• An increase in heart rate occurred• Heart rate increased

• The new drug caused a decrease in heart rate• The new drug decreased heart rate

• With hypoxia of longer duration or severer degree, the shortening phase may get progressively briefer

• When hypoxia lasts longer or is more sever, the shortening phase may get progressively briefer

V : N1 : 21 : 1

1 : 3

1 : 2

1 : 4

3 : 2

At the end of dialysis, the plasma acetate concentration in the adults was almost double that in the children

The patient’s symptoms did not change

After the patient began taking 0.6g aspirin daily, his arthritis resolved

Aspirin (0.6g daily) resolved patient’s arthritis

The death rate decreased progressively.

Ethanol evaporates from the mixture rapidly.

Potassium was removed by…..We removed potassium by centrifugation of the supernatant liquid at…

We measured blood pH with a Radiometer capillary electrode

Uremic patients live longer because of improved conservative treatment and hemosialysis

Exercise increased minute ventilation and respiratory frequency in all dogs

COP1 was inactivated by light before it was depleted from the nucleus

When a partially purified TFIIH fraction was immunoprecipitated by Ab-ERCC 2 under..

If mismatches are not corrected, base pairs are segregated after meiosis.

We analyzed each specimen at least twice

Infusion of tyramine decreased cutanmous blood flow

The mutation is embryonic lethal

Neurons from homozygous p53 KO mice were resistant to apoptosis induced by…

D1 receptor regulate D2-like receptor

These agents inhibit the synthesis of cholesterol by liver

The net difference in osmolarity increases pressure by drawing water into the CSF

This mutation kills the embryos

…..while patient breathed normally

Calcium is traslocated across the membrane when the enzyme is phosphoryated. Then calcium is released into the lumen when the enzyme is dephosphorylated

Light has been found to control the import of a potential transcription into the nucleus

Evidence that light controls the nuclear import of a potential transcription factor has bee provided

Radical cleavage is modestly enhanced at base pair 10-12

….showed that its BCL2 homolog regulates cell death

Avoid noun cluster

• Avoid to put >3 noun in a row• Treat noun cluster like abbreviations. Do not use them if you

can possibly avoid them.

– BAD: air spaces phospholipid pool– GOOD: phospholipid pool in the air space

– BAD: peripheral chemoreceptor stimulation– GOOD: stimulation of the peripheral chemoreceptor

The order of adjectives

Order Type Example

1 opinion wonderful

2 size Little, big

3 shape Square, narrow

4 characteristics Broken, long-haired

5 age old

6 color red

7 Source or material French, cotton

8 Noun as adjective School (work)

• A large round yellow moon• A small, attractive, intelligent French lady

Blood clotting in the shunt occurred after 5 days

Interference patterns generated by DNaseI nicking and methylation correspond precisely for both of the 10 bp sequence

…by centrifugating in sucrose density gradient

Regulation of CSF pH by BBB

Blood in the shunt clotted after 5 days

..crude homogenates of rate liver

..into primary cultures derived from fetal cells

Translocation of RACK1 induced by PKC-activation…..

Serum samples from healthy subject and from ulcerative colitis patients were….

…between lactate concentration in resting state and exercising state

Write short sentences

• Short sentence are easier to understand than long sentence.

• Keep the mean sentence length of your paper no more than 22 words per sentences.

– This is a mean value. If you have 2 or 3 long sentence, balance with a short one.

• A short sentence sometimes has stronger impact

Do not string ideas togetherA

A

A

B

B

B

C

C

C

Talk about one thing at a time

A

B

A

A

B

B

Mutagenesis studies of several MADS box proteins, including MEF2, have shown that the 56-amino-acid MADS box is required for DNA binding. A 30-amino-acid extension on the carboxyl-terminal side of MADS box is also required. This carboxyl-terminal extension is unique to each subclass of MADS box proteins(18 words/sentence)

A B

C

A B

C

To identify mast cells, an adjacent section was stained with alcian blue. The staining shows that several mast cells are located in the media and adventitia region of the intramural arteriole. However, the number of alcian-blue staining cells is lower than the number of cells that are positive for chymase mRNA shown in Fig5B.(56 words. Mean: 19 word/sentence)

A

B

C

A

BC

The relationship has been correlated with an in vitro model of coculture between stellate cells and hepatocytes. After addition of LCL4, collagen is expressed in stellate cells located …..

AB

C

B

C

Use clear pronouns

• A pronoun is a word that replace and refers to a noun. Examples : it, he, they, this, that, those, which….

• If the noun that a pronoun refers to is unclear, the reader may have trouble understanding the whole sentence

• Unclearness may due to 2 reasons

– Too many possible nouns

– No possible nouns

Too many possible nouns

• BAD: The presence of disulfide bonds in oligopeptides may restrict the formation of ordered structures in SDS. Once they are reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully induced.

• GOOD: The presence of disulfide bonds in oigopeptide may restrict the formation of ordered structures in SDS. Once the bonds are reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully induced.

No possible noun

• Ex: for primary neuronal cultures– BAD: Those used for this study were taken from 13 litter of

new-born mice.

– GOOD: The brains used for this study were taken from 13 litter of new-born mice.

the cuffs

……by inflating wide congesting cuffs, placed around the thighs, to the distolic…

This selective reduction of apolipoprotein A-I suggests that….

The size of the bolus is limited….

Put parallel ideas in parallel form

• Parallel ideas are ideas that are equal in logic and importance. Another example is ideas that are being compared.

• Parallel form is the used of the same grammatical structure for 2 or more ideas.

• Reader can concentrate all their attention on the ideas, not on the form.

Pair

A

B

A

B

A

B

The problem in writing comparisons

• Overuse of “compare to”

• Comparison of unlike things (don’t compare apple to orange)

• Absolute statements disguised as comparison.

Overuse of “compare to”

Comparison of unlike things

• BAD: These results are similar to pervious studies• GOOD: These results are similar to those of previous studies.

• BAD: Activation-controlled relaxation in these deprived cells resembled intact myocardium from frog

• GOOD: Activation-controlled relaxation in these deprived cells resembled that in intact myocardium from frog

subject

Absolute statements disguised as comparison

• BAD: This medium contains about 4.5 mM phosphate compare to Schneider’s medium

• GOOD: This medium contains about 4.5 mM phosphate; Schneider’s medium contains 9 mM phosphate.

• GOOD: In this medium, the concentration of phosphate (4.5 mM) is about half that in Schneider’s medium (9 mM)

Series

A

B

C

A

B

CD

No hybrid between pair and series

• BAD: the D225 medium contains 12.5 mg of cysteine, 50 mg of methionine and has a final volume of 115 ml.

• GOOD: The D225 medium contains 12.5 mg of cysteine and 50 mg of methionine; its final volume is 115 ml.

• GOOD: The D225 medium contains 12.5 mg of cysteine and 50 mg of methionine, and 115 ml of H2O.

1

2 3

Paired conjunctions

• Both….and• Either….or• Neither….not• Not only….but also

….both on X and on Y

….on both X and Y

Omitting repetition

in

in

…be quick and erratic or slow and regular

…intravenous administration of fentanyl (20 uh/h) or placebo did not

..the presence of vasoactive intestinal peptide (8)

decreased

,

the pellets were

…either on….

through

…depend not only on volume but also on…..

than in

…than at 4 min

The stability in this study is greater than pervious study resulting from….

greater

than in

the losses

than losses during

, like that of subfragment 1,

Avoid writing flaws

• Be sure that the subject and verb make sense together• Be sure that the subject and verb agree• Do not omit helping verbs• Avoid dangling modifiers• Be sure that sentence containing information in parentheses

make sense

Be sure that the subject and verb make sense together

• BAD: The appearance of nondialyzable 35S in the luminal bath was measured.

• GOOD: The amount of nondialyzable 35S in the luminal bath was measured.

• GOOD: We measured the amount of nondialyzable 35S in the luminal bath.

• GOOD: The appearance of nondialyzable 35S in the luminal bath was monitored.

Be sure that the subject and verb agree

• BAD: The esophagus, stomach, and duodenum of each rabbit was examined.

• GOOD: The esophagus, stomach, and duodenum of each rabbit were examined.

1 2 3

Do not omit helping verbs

• BAD: the tissue was minced and the samples incubated

• GOOD: the tissues were minced and the samples were incubated

Avoid dangling modifiers

• BAD: In changing from a standing to a recumbent position, the heart expands noticeably in all direction.

• GOOD: When the patients change from a standing to a recumbent position, their hearts expands noticeably in all directions.

subject

subject

Be sure that sentence containing information in parentheses make sense

• BAD: Drug A (10-6 M) had no effect, 10-5 M slightly depressed the response, and 5x10-5 M almost abolished the response.

• GOOD: At 10-6 M drug A had no effect, at 10-5 M it slightly depressed the response, and at 5x10-5 M almost abolished the response.

• GOOD: Drug A had no effect at 10-6 M, slightly depressed the response at 10-5 M, and almost abolished the response at 5x10-5 M.