Self, Identity and Self EsteemSelf, Identity and Self Esteem

Lecture 10aLecture 10a

COMN 2111COMN 2111

SITUATED IDENTITYSITUATED IDENTITY

SITUATED IDENTITY GIVEN BY THE ROLE YOU SITUATED IDENTITY GIVEN BY THE ROLE YOU PLAY IN A SITUATION PLAY IN A SITUATION • Presenting SelfPresenting Self• "respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour," "respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour,"

and "helpful worker"and "helpful worker" • Same as “Face” Same as “Face”

Line or position you take in an exchangeLine or position you take in an exchange Emotionally loaded “bit of your self” you transmit as Emotionally loaded “bit of your self” you transmit as

part of communicational transactionpart of communicational transaction Create roles that reflect how we want others to Create roles that reflect how we want others to

see us.see us. We often unconsciously act in ways that are We often unconsciously act in ways that are

really small public performancesreally small public performances..

CONVERSATIONAL IDENTITY CONVERSATIONAL IDENTITY (Or Face)(Or Face)

As a part of “small public performance” As a part of “small public performance” we take a position in conversationwe take a position in conversation

Put some of our emotions on the line as Put some of our emotions on the line as we speakwe speak

Others responses to our words our words Others responses to our words our words and non-verbals can cause our “face” to and non-verbals can cause our “face” to feel enhanced or diminished (or neutral)feel enhanced or diminished (or neutral)

This is moment-to-moment management This is moment-to-moment management of identityof identity

Why Manage IdentityWhy Manage Identity

Behavior aimed at making Behavior aimed at making impressionsimpressions

To follow social rulesTo follow social rules To accomplish personal goalsTo accomplish personal goals

• PersuadePersuade• Relational ChangesRelational Changes

HOW WE MANAGEHOW WE MANAGE

MannerManner• consists of a communicator's words and consists of a communicator's words and

nonverbal actionsnonverbal actions..

AppearanceAppearance• personal items people use to shape an imagepersonal items people use to shape an image

SettingSetting• physical items we use to influence how others physical items we use to influence how others

view usview us

SELF ESTEEM: SELF ESTEEM: A REVIEWA REVIEW

SELF ESTEEM: SELF ESTEEM: A REVIEWA REVIEW

SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELFSELF

SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM

SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM

Video Example

SELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEMSELF ESTEEM

SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELFSELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF AM I CAPABLE? (Can I Do Anything Well/Right?)AM I CAPABLE? (Can I Do Anything Well/Right?) DO I MATTER? (Am I OK?)DO I MATTER? (Am I OK?) CAN I INFLUENCE MY LIFE? (Do I Have a Choice?)CAN I INFLUENCE MY LIFE? (Do I Have a Choice?) BASED ON:BASED ON: PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ASPIRATIONSPERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ASPIRATIONS CULTURAL IDEALSCULTURAL IDEALS GENETIC PREDISPOSITIONSGENETIC PREDISPOSITIONS

THREAT TO SELF ESTEEMTHREAT TO SELF ESTEEM

Am I capable (Can I do anything Am I capable (Can I do anything well/right?)well/right?)

Do I matter?Do I matter?

Video Example

Re-Building Self-EsteemRe-Building Self-Esteem

You are capable.You are capable. You do matter.You do matter. You do have a choice.You do have a choice.

Video Example

Self Esteem and CommunicationSelf Esteem and Communication

Level of self esteem Level of self esteem communicated through verbal communicated through verbal and non verbal meansand non verbal means

Affects the types of Affects the types of relationships we develop and relationships we develop and the way we maintain themthe way we maintain them

Changing Esteem LevelsChanging Esteem Levels

Recognize and shift your beliefsRecognize and shift your beliefs Remind yourself of your good Remind yourself of your good

acts, successesacts, successes Choose projects that will let you Choose projects that will let you

winwin Avoid people who are into Avoid people who are into

unnecessary criticism and fault unnecessary criticism and fault finding.finding.

The Self in Communication: The Self in Communication: The Psychological DefensesThe Psychological Defenses

Lecture 10bLecture 10b

COMN 2111: COMMUNICATION IN COMN 2111: COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFEEVERYDAY LIFE

ANOTHER MODEL OF SELFANOTHER MODEL OF SELF

FREUD’S MODEL OF SELFFREUD’S MODEL OF SELF COMPLEMENT’S MEAD’S COMPLEMENT’S MEAD’S

CONSCIOUS MODEL OF SELFCONSCIOUS MODEL OF SELF DEALS WITH UNCONCSCIOUSDEALS WITH UNCONCSCIOUS THREE PARTS: ID, EGO, THREE PARTS: ID, EGO,

SUPEREGOSUPEREGO

FREUD’S MODEL OF SELFFREUD’S MODEL OF SELF

GRATIFY WISHES OF ID GRATIFY WISHES OF ID WITHIN RESTRICTIONSWITHIN RESTRICTIONS OF SUPEREGOOF SUPEREGO

REALITY PRINCIPLEREALITY PRINCIPLE THINKINGTHINKING

EGOEGO

ETHICAL VALUESETHICAL VALUES

MORAL CONSCIENCEMORAL CONSCIENCE EGO IDEALEGO IDEAL

SUPEREGOSUPEREGO

SEXUAL, AGGRESSIVE SEXUAL, AGGRESSIVE INSTINCTSINSTINCTS

PLEASURE PRINCIPLEPLEASURE PRINCIPLE IDID

IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATIONIMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION

KEY PERCEPTION AXIOMKEY PERCEPTION AXIOM

IF WE CAN’T ALTER IF WE CAN’T ALTER CHALLENGING DATA, CHALLENGING DATA, WE WE DISTORT OR IGNOREDISTORT OR IGNORE

WORKS SOMETHING WORKS SOMETHING LIKE THISLIKE THIS

Video Example

SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND DEFENSEDEFENSE

SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-CONCEPT AND DEFENSEDEFENSE

BETTER TO DEFENDBETTER TO DEFEND INCONSISTENT INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR OR A POOR SELF-BEHAVIOR OR A POOR SELF-CONCEPT THAN TO CHANGECONCEPT THAN TO CHANGE

AVOID ANXIETY, GUILT FEELINGS -AVOID ANXIETY, GUILT FEELINGS -PAINPAIN

WHEN WE ARE IN TROUBLE WITH WHEN WE ARE IN TROUBLE WITH REALITY WE DEFEND OURSELVES REALITY WE DEFEND OURSELVES BY BY STAYING HIGH ON THE STAYING HIGH ON THE INFERENCE LADDER!INFERENCE LADDER!

DENIALDENIAL REFUSE TO ADMIT THREAT IS RELEVANT TO REFUSE TO ADMIT THREAT IS RELEVANT TO

SELF OR ASSUME IT CAN BE POSTPONEDSELF OR ASSUME IT CAN BE POSTPONED

AVOIDANCEAVOIDANCE REFUSING TO FACE THREAT; NOT BEING IN SITUATION REFUSING TO FACE THREAT; NOT BEING IN SITUATION

WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ITWHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT

RATIONALIZATIONRATIONALIZATION MOST COMMON: MAKING EXCUSES, EXPLAINING MOST COMMON: MAKING EXCUSES, EXPLAINING

AWAY THREATSAWAY THREATS

INTELLECTUALIZATIONINTELLECTUALIZATION ENGAGING IN DETACHED ANALYSES OF THREATENING ENGAGING IN DETACHED ANALYSES OF THREATENING

PROBLEMSPROBLEMS

DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELF SYSTEM OF THE SELF

DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELF SYSTEM OF THE SELF

DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELFSYSTEM OF THE SELF

DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELFSYSTEM OF THE SELF

DISPLACEMENT: DISPLACEMENT: INSTINCTUAL ACTIVITY IS INSTINCTUAL ACTIVITY IS REDIRECTED FROM A MORE THREATENING ACTIVITIY TO A REDIRECTED FROM A MORE THREATENING ACTIVITIY TO A LESS THREATENING PERSON, OBJECT. KICKING THE CAT, LESS THREATENING PERSON, OBJECT. KICKING THE CAT, PICKING ON ONE’S KIDS INSTEAD OF DEALING REAL THREATSPICKING ON ONE’S KIDS INSTEAD OF DEALING REAL THREATS..

REPRESSION: REPRESSION: BURYING OF THREATENING BURYING OF THREATENING MOTIVES ORFEELINGS IN NON-CONSCIOUSMOTIVES ORFEELINGS IN NON-CONSCIOUS

PROJECTION: PROJECTION: OPPOSITE OF BURYING INSIDE, OPPOSITE OF BURYING INSIDE, ATTRIBUTE THREATENING FEELINGS TO SOMEONE ELSEATTRIBUTE THREATENING FEELINGS TO SOMEONE ELSE

REGRESSION: REGRESSION: REVERT TO EARLIER MORE REVERT TO EARLIER MORE “CHILDLIKE”STATE, OR EARLIER, LESS THREATENING “CHILDLIKE”STATE, OR EARLIER, LESS THREATENING TIMETIME