In the Introduction, page 30, beginning with, "in the pressure of modern urban life..." I realize that I feel an unraveling of sorts...a disconnectedness when I lack discipline and don't take the time I need...there is a *falling apart* that takes place.

Page 31, which carries on from page 30 in regards to the simplicity of monastic prayer...it appears that simple prayers = contemplation, or I should say, can lead to contemplation. The monks contented themselves with struggle for purity of heart: control of thoughts...keeping their minds and hearts empty of cares and concerns...to forget themselves...to focus on the love and service of God.

*What practical things can I do (although the root is deep and God will need to step in) to empty my mind and heart of too many concerns? You mentioned beautifully how I can approach God in regards to parenting. I will need to meditate on that frequently. But let's face it...there is the social media, etc. that is distracting me. Not so much the blogging because I am at a point I only read what I am led to read and only comment if inspired and only write if I am inspired and have the time. Once in a while I will spend too much time on blogs. There's Pinterest, which is fun...my boards are very inspired and I am still shocked I have almost a thousand followers: my most popular boards are a Catholic one, an Eastern one, a Carmelite one, and one on contemplative spaces. I have a few others but they seem to get the most attention. I do have an eye for beauty (winks) so it shows in my attention to what goes on my boards. You can see them here: http://www.pinterest.com/theresaocds/ Then, lo and behold, I decide to start Twitter which is dangerous with a smart phone. I joined to follow the Advent veiling thing and met some of my blogging friends and now we can chat quite frequently...but sometimes very superficially. I have a couple of very contemplative tweeters who inspire me...but yes...it is a distraction. When do I call it quits? What's next to take my attention away from God...or from spending silent time from Him? I just started Twitter and I am thinking of just closing it for now because I think the Lord is asking me to give up something that is not necessary in my life. There are other ways to keep in touch with some of my friends. I could knock down the list to a bare minimum of who to follow...but will it still distract me? I believe it may.

Page 31, "This love expressed itself first of all in love for God's Word...especially the Psalms...it revealed the secret movements of the heart in its struggle against the forces of darkness."

*Should I be meditating on specific psalms?

Page 32 and 33 are very much connected in regards to the Jesus Prayer. On page 33, the words *primitive* and *simple* stood out to me as well as the fact that the prayer helps abandonment of distracting thoughts and interior recollection...a prayer stripped of *non-essentials.* Nothing else stood out to me on the bottom of page 33.

Page 34, "The practice of keeping the Name of Jesus...", invoking the name of Jesus is the secret of *control of thoughts*. It assists in the practice of the presence of God in all activities.

Page 35, "....this is an age, by its very nature as a time of crisis...calls for the searching and questioning which are the work of the monk in his meditation..." When one leaves the world in whatever situation or circumstance, meaning on a spiritual level not just physical, they are truly confronted by this terrible inner emptiness.

Continuing on page 35 at the bottom, Merton discusses the dimensions of prayer in solitude as ordinary anguish, self-searching, nausea at one's vanity, falsity, and capacity for betrayal. I have experienced this without a doubt.

Page 36, I found this interesting and want to explore what it really means, "Dread...a sense that one has somehow been untrue...to one's inmost truth...It is a profound awareness that one is

capable of ultimate bad faith with himself and with others: that one is living a lie."

Nothing specific in second paragraph on page 37 but at the bottom, "He experiences in himself the emptiness...". In the modern man...one living very much in the world...emptiness=boredom=spiritual disorientation. I can really relate to the feeling of being disoriented. The emptiness is disconcerting at times, then I find myself in restlessness and boredom...seeking satisfaction in worldly occupations.

Now, page 38 was what the Spirit led me to read and meditate on last night. I spent almost my whole prayer time on it after reading a bit of scripture. "The option of absolute despair is turned into perfect hope by the pure and humble supplication of monastic prayer."

*despair turned into perfect hope through prayer: monastic, pure, humble

"The monk faces the worst, and discovers in it the hope of the best."

"This is the creative and healing work of the monk..."

*creative and healing work: silence, nakedness, emptiness, humility

*the silence of the praying and meditating Church=Church of the Desert