Stephanie Beniek

Malaurie Heidenescher

Albert Crichton

Julie Dix Jack (Curtis) Greene II

Ashlin Idemoto

Leilani Akana

Christian (David) Lam

Projection Cart

Valerie Lane Bryan Jason Maderas

Justin Maunupau

Carina Pelletier

Kamele Manoa

Joshua Nishimoto

Cody Okada-Krueger

Anissa Pasion

Teachers’

Hitsa Pham Courtney Piche

Charlette Joy Ragudos

Taliau (King)Tavela-Afalava

Renay Dayton-Gerona

Desk

Seating Chart (Period 2)

SEATING CHART(Period 5)

Mahlon Kapule III

Heather Corpuz

Adam Denis Preston Matteo Donato

Leonard Firme Jr.

Kristen Joy Foronda

Petrice Goto Pualani Howard

Lazarus Jove

Projection Cart

Courtney Ledesma

Arianna Lee Johnathan Lonso

Jovy Manzanares

Michael OMeally

Emily Moses Derrick Ogawa-Staples

Joshua Pangayan

Shonnel Patao-Galacgac

Marcus Sabado

Teachers’

Jonnel Santos

Keani Sayles

Miurina Soyon

Ahley Ferreira

Desk

Opening: Bell Work

Four Corners Game

How to play:

• Read the question • Decide on an answer• Move to the corner that you think is the answer

Question 12

12.(D) “much closer” describes “must study,” which is a verb phrase. We must use adverbs to describe verb phrases.

“much closer” should be “much more closely.”

Question 13

13. (B) This violates the parallel construction rule. “has been” is a verb phrase. The “and” should connect it to another verb phrase. However, “her popularity” is a noun phrase.

It should read something like this:

“Because Deborah has been a representative for over 20 years and has been popular among her constituents . . . .”

Question 14

14. (D) This is a word choice error. “respectfully” is a way to describe someone’s actions.

“respectively” means “the first goes with the first; the second with the second, etc.”

Question 15

15. (D) We have a verb tense agreement violation here.

The sentence starts out in present tense with “bears show.”

“would have considered” is past tense

It should read something like:

“ . . . from anyone whom they consider to be a threat.”

Question 16

16. (E) No error

Question 17

17. (C) We have a number agreement error here. “the fund deficit” and “the disillusionment” add up to two things.

“a problem” (one; singular) should be “problems” (two or more; plural)

Question 18

18. (B) We have a subject-verb agreement error here.

“either . . . or” means that only one is possible.

“were” (plural; two or more) should be “was” (singular; one)

Question 19

19. (C) Nouns are divided into two “amount” categories:

count nouns are things that can be counted. These nouns use the adjective “fewer.” We can pluralize these nouns. Example: After the storm there were seven fewer trees in the park.

Non-count nouns are things that aren’t counted. These nouns use the adjective “less.” We don’t pluralize these nouns. Example: I’m on a diet, so give me less rice on this plate.

“defense attorneys” is a count noun, so “less” should be “fewer.”

Question 20

20. (B) Parallel construction error here. The speaker is comparing the service at certain restaurants.

This should read something like:

“The service at Centro is much better than the service at the other restaurants we frequent . . . .”

Question 21

21. (A) Very technical error here, relating to verb tense.

“rose” should be “had risen”

(I don’t know how many people will call you on this, though)

Question 22

22. (C) Number agreement error.

“child” is one (singular); “they” is two or more (plural)

“they” should be “he or she”

Question 23

23. (C) Parallel construction error

“because of” should be “by.”

Question 24

24. (E) Although this sentence could use some restructuring, there’s nothing technically wrong with it . . . I think.

Question 25

25. (B) Number agreement “The Senator and his opponent” is plural (two

or more); “he” is singular (one).

It is unclear which man—if the Senator is also male—made the racially insensitive comment

Question 26

26. (C) Verb tense agreement error

“were observing” is past tense; “are” is present tense

“are” should be “were”

Question 27

27. (C) I think this is a word choice error.

“advocate” means to support; to defend; to take a stand for something that others may oppose.

There is no reason to believe that there’s something wrong about testing for abestos.

This should be something like:

“. . . Testing . . . is widely recommended for . . . .”

Question 28

28. (A) pronoun case error

Since “between” is a preposition, we must use the pronoun “me,” the objective case for first person singular pronoun

Question 29

29. (C) “duo” is treated as a singular noun, so

“their” (plural) should be “its” (singular)

AgendaAugust 31, 2010

• Objective: We will be able to… Revise our personal narratives

• Opening: Bell Work SAT prep questions

• Revision Activity• Closing: Exit Pass

Explain the changes you have made or will make to your 2nd draft.

Revision Activity

Note:

You will need your handout, “Why I Have To Take U.S. History Again”

by Tal Vigderson

You will also need your personal narrative 2nd draft

Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group 4 Group 5 Group 6

King Charlette Justin Hitsa Cody Julie

Ashlin David Malaurie Mele Anissa Bryan

Valerie Carina Renay Courtney Curtis Leilani

Joshua Stephanie Albert

Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left.

Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left.

Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group 4 Group 5 Group 6

Emily Jonnel Shonell Petrice Leonard Arianna

Marcus Mahlon Miurina Adam Courtney Joshua

Derrick Michael Kristen Preston Lance Heather

Ashley Pua John Jovy Keani

Introduction

• Paragraph 1 of “Why I have To Take U.S. History Again” is the story’s introduction

• Read the introduction of your partner’s personal narrative.

• Ask yourself:• Is it captivating? • Does it catch your attention?• Does it make you want to read on?• Does it have a thesis statement?

• Make comments about what you liked or didn’t like and any improvements this person needs to make to his or her introduction

Background Information• Paragraphs 2-4 of “Why I have To Take U.S. History Again” gives the reader some background information about the event.

• Read your partner’s personal narrative and see if you can find background information.

• Ask yourself:• Is there anything that I don’t understand? • Is there anything that is irrelevant?• What details need to to be elaborated on?

• Make comments about what you liked or didn’t like and any improvements this person needs to make to his or her background information

Event• Paragraphs 5-12 of “Why I have To Take U.S. History Again” explains the actual event

• Read your partner’s personal narrative and see if you can find “the event.”

• Ask yourself:• Is there anything that I don’t understand? • Is there anything that is irrelevant?• What details need to to be elaborated on?• Did the author use quotes to make the reading more interesting?

• Make comments about what you liked or didn’t like and any improvements this person needs to make to his or her event section

Moral/Lesson Learned• Paragraphs 13-20 of “Why I have To Take U.S. History Again” explains the moral or lesson learned

• Read your partner’s personal narrative and see if you can find moral or lesson learned.

• Ask yourself:• Is there anything that I don’t understand? • Is there anything that is irrelevant?• What details need to to be elaborated on?• Did the author use quotes to make the reading more interesting?

• Make comments about what you liked or didn’t like and any improvements this person needs to make to his or her moral or lesson learned

Conclusion• Paragraph 21 of “Why I have To Take U.S. History Again” is the conclusion.

• Read the conclusion to your partner’s personal narrative.

• Ask yourself:• Does this personal narrative feel complete? • Does the author express a final thought about the event, moral, or lesson learned?

• Make comments about what you liked or didn’t like and any improvements this person needs to make to his or her conclusion

Drafting

Based on what you’ve learned today, make changes to your 2nd draft.

Note: use a different colored pen.

Closing: Exit Pass

Explain the changes you have made and/or will make to your 2nd draft.

HW (write in your planner): Bring a hard copy of your personal narrative 3rd draft to class on Thursday, Sept. 2, 2010.

typed, double-spaced, size 12 Times New Roman font