Screeners and Virgins 2

8/3/2019 Screeners and Virgins 2

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

In the months it took to write this book, it wouldnot have been possible without the help of many

of my co-workers. Special thanks to Eric Rogne

and Judy Wilson.

I particularly want to thank Kevin McGinnis, my

next door neighbor. Kevin had to suffer many

sleepness nighs because of my crying infant. Iexpected him to move. Instead, he agreed to help

me in editing this book.

OTHER PUBLICATIONS

by William Touzani

Crimes of Patent:

The making and unmaking

of an American dream

100 Checkpoint Classics


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The country was under attack and Uncle Sam now wants you more

than ever. So, after 15 years of being self employed, my life was

about to change. I had just retired from the advertizing industry when

my present employer, TSA, organized a national contest for a safety

poster for its workforce. As the economy took a dive after 9/11, so did

the advertizing industry. Many graphic artists ended up employed

with TSA

Winning first prize and a thousand dollars felt great. But I dislikedthe feeling of capitalism at the expense of terrorism. And so began the

visual story of TSA as displayed in my website (ThanksTSA.com).

People around the world have viewed my artwork, so I decided to

share my experiences. Having screened over one million people, I

consider myself expert enough to provide my own perspective on

airline security. I hope you find this book enlightening.

INTRODUCTION


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ACKNOLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

REMEMBERING 9/111 AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY

2 FAMILY TRAGEDY

3 RENDEZ-VOUS WITH HISTORY

4 A STAR IS BORN

5 ISRAELS EXAMPLE

6 GOOD AND EVIL

7 THE BOTTOM LINE

8 THE REAL TRUTH9 LIVE AND LET LIVE

10 HOMEWORK OF THE DAY

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

11 GOVERNMENT BAILOUT

12 FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

13 PROTECTING THE HOMELAND

14 TWO PARTIES TWO COUNTRIES15 FIGHTING NATURE

16 HELP US HELP YOU

17 CONDITIONAL TRUST

18 BLOW THE HORN

19 SCREW THE S.O.P.

20 SECURITY WITH A TWIST

ONE PEOPLE ONE DESTINY21 THE REAL AMERICAN

22 FOR GODS SAKE

23 MAKING THE DIFFERENCE

24 MUSLIM OR AMERICAN

25 BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

26 LOST IN TRANSLATION

27 ARABS ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL

28 ONE GOD TOO MANY29 GODS AND POLITICIANS

30 WHAT A TRIP

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CHECKPOINT CLASSICS31 THE MAGIC WAND

32 HUMAN PARTS

33 GETTING PERSONEL

34 SMART PROFILING

35 DESIGNER BAGS

36 ITALIAN SHOES

37 UN-HOLY WATER

38 DOUBLE STANDARDS39 EYES IN THE SKY

40 STOP THE PRESS

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

41 SPLIT PERSONALITY

42 UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT

43 YOUVE GOT MAIL

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TABLE OF CONTENTS


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REMEMBERING 9/117


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1- AN AMERICAN TRAGEDYNearly a decade has passed since the morningof September 11, 2001. I was living in a 14thfloor apartment in a high-rise in the city ofHouston, Texas. At 6am sharp, I woke up in asweat as I did every morning, with my wifealready on the floor praying, with a copy ofthe Quran at her side. Malika has never beenreligious nor has she ever contemplatedsuicide before. She spends most of the dayasking Allah for forgiveness. She had spent

all of last summer suntanning topless onthe beaches of Nice, off the Boulevard desAnglais.

In a total daze, I proceeded to make coffeeand sit on the couch to watch the news. I knewthat my sons cry was only moments away and Iwas ready to hold him in my arms.

My son Adam was 7-weeks old and we

already knew he was facing brain surgery.Ever since his birth my life has been hell inanticipation of that day. What if he is brain-damaged? What if he is mentally challengedthe rest of his life? What if he dies duringsurgery? Needless to say, all my belief inGod disappeared. I could not understand what

God had against my baby boy.As I was watching television, CNN suddenlybroke the news of a plane crashing into theWorld Trade Center. Shortly after, the worldwitnessed the second attack. At that point,everyone knew this was likely a terrorist attack.The world was never going to be the same.

As the baby started crying, I felt sorry that

my son came into a world with a lot of brain-damaged people.

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2- FAMILY TRAGEDYI remember watching the towers falling. Irecall a sense of helplessness that I can

only compare to the moments followingmy sons brain surgery a year later.Adam was just out of the recovery roomwith a smile on his face as he reachedout for his mothers arms, his headwrapped under a massive turban ofrolls of bandages. He suddenly realized

the mountain of foreign matter sitting onhis head and forcefully reached with hissmall thumbs bellow the ears and pulledthe entire turban right off his head.

As the nurses rushed to restrain him,my sons skull became visible, exposinghuge scars, his shaved scalp, and spo-

radic patches of greasy hair. My heartcame to a stop as my wife screamed inhorror. My wife Malika fainted.

The sight of my son in that conditionwill haunt me the rest of my life. I criedevery day for months as I shampooed hishair, feeling the palm-size depression of

the titanium plate on his skull.I could only guess what the families

of the 9/11 victims must have experi-enced. The permanent scars they willhave to endure and the ellusive justicethey will demand to have closure. Yes,America has been wounded and lessons

will be learned. Ultimately, Americanswill unite to defeat evil. We always do.


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3- RENDEZ-VOUS WITH HISTORYFreedom is just like religion; no two people can agree on itsmerits. While freedom is intended to bring you happinesson earth, religion is supposed to bring you heaven in the

afterlife. So who are those Middle Eastern terrorists? Andwho defined them as Muslims, not Arabs? Did they thinkthat conducting a Jihad under the name of 1.5 billion Muslimswas more effective than under the name of 300 millionArabs? Pakistan is not an Arab nation, yet it was draggedby Al Qaeda into this conflict in the name of Allah. His-torically, Pakistan has only been concerned about its archenemy India, and dismissed any Arab concerns. Al-Qaedas

greivances were, until now, just too unimportant.Bin Laden himself was at one time an ally of America,

against the atheist Soviets. Later, he requested Americanbases to be removed from Muslim Holy Lands. He failed torecognize the repercussions should Iran s ayatollahs decideto invade his country. In not getting his wishes, Bin Ladenembarked on terrorism.

I knew a terrorist once. He was my father. On his weddingday in Fes, Morocco in September of 1953, French troopssurrounded his home and he was arrested on a charge ofterrorism. I heard stories about how my father and membersof the Liberation Army that were seeking independence forMorocco were active in the ambush and assassinations of theoccupying French soldiers.

My father was one of the many intellectuals in Morocco, but

still managed to get blood on his hand. However, it was neverblood of civilians. My mother, a French citizen, could not helphim as her own family was fighting in the Algerian war. Hewas to be sentenced to the firing squad.

Fortunately for my dad, the French decided to return KingMohammed V from exile, and his sentence was reversed.Instead, the King asked my father to tutor his son, prince

Hassan II. It should be noted that Morocco was the first coun-try to officially recognize the independence of the UnitedStates from the British Empire, in year 1776.


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4- A STAR IS BORNAs a teenager living in the suburb of Paris, I oftenhad to walk 2 miles to the swimming pool for dailypractice. While mass transportation in France

is very advanced and metro stations are prevalent,so were the bomb attacks. Algerian Islamistgroups, neo-Nazis, Corsican and the Basque sepa-ratists all succeeded in keeping French securityservices on their toes, leaving the public in aconstant state of panic. Europes response toterrorism was always based on adding more

security forces, increasing intelligence andimproving communication between internationalagencies. They never started a world war.

Air transportation was much more crucial tothe US than to Europeans. The US governmentannounced the creation of a new agency; theTransportation Security Administration (TSA), a50,000 security force with a price tag of billions of

dollars to take over airport security. Americadecided that the free world depended greatlyon airport security for its survival. Such forcewas to benefit instantly from the ressourcesprovided by other government agencies and becombined under one umbrella: The Department ofHomeland Security (DHS).

Al Qaida, in their quest for embarrassing the US,and having admitted interest in breaking the backof the American economy, were destined tosuccessfully breach airport security again. Theshoe bomber and the underwear bomber areprime examples. While no harm had come to pas-sengers, the psychological affect on the pubic andnewer airport restrictions have brought screening

of passengers to even more invasive searchingmethods. Surgical gloves may have to stay.


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5- ISRAELS EXAMPLETSA and its 50,000 people workforce seemed tobe an appropriate response to fully protectAmericas lifeline; air travel. Other nations had

to follow suite, especially concerning US inboundflights. After all, both the shoe bomber and theunderwear bomber were traveling to the US froman overseas destination.

In Europe, air transport is not as crucial sincemost capitals are within a few hours drivingdistance from each other. Air transport security

was, however, to be an international endeavorwith extensive shared intelligence if our way oflife was to survive. But how can TSA identify onthe fly, millions of good from a few potentiallydangerous travelers.

I remember one day I was working at acheckpoint and discussing with a manager somenew positions that TSA have made available to

its officers. A new team of Behavior DetectionOfficers was to be expanded. Don was excitedabout the idea and encouraged me to apply. Heproceeded to inform me that it was not profiling,but instead a program based on an Israeli methodof identifying good Arabs from bad Arabs.

I was surprised by his enthuiasm and pride

but I realized that Muslims around the worldwere going to be furious if Israel was to bementioned. A few days later, I met severalBDO officers who bragged to me about thesame thing. I subsequently decided to write tomy congressman about the matter.

The problem with this Israeli package is that itgives terrorists another excuse to recruit. We all

remember the Muslim uproar over the openpublication of a caricature of Mohamed.


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6- GOOD AND EVILPeople are not created equal, and whatyou see is not necessarily what youget. Such is the driving philosophy of

TSA. Profiling is strictly prohibited,yet behavior detection is allowed. Donot use your brain. Do not usecommon sense. Just follow StandardOperation Procedures. After all, thereare crazies among all people. Takefor instance, a good Christian who has

just walked in on his wife sleepingwith another man. He may just decideto meet the 40 virgins via the Check-point to Heaven.

As I was digging through my 5-year-old sons toy box to do a photoshoot, I decided to use his set ofalphabet and number blocks. Adam

was watching in amazement as I filleda bowl with water and spelled out TSAand 911. I explained to him that TSArepresented good while 911 blocksrepresented evil.

I picked up the 911 blocks andglued coins to the bottom of eachblock to make them sink bellow thesurface. 911 represents a bad personthat may want to hurt you, and thatswhy I want to drown them, I told myson Adam. TSA are people like mewho want to stop them. Withouthesitation, and typical of a child thatbelieves evil exists only in cartoons,

he replied, so TSA can swim and 911are fish.


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7- THE BOTTOM LINEI was not about to discuss good and evilwith my son again. After all, if you putequal weights on a scale, the further the

weight is from the center, the greaterthe downward force. Even Adam under-stands that, providing I stop using coins.

TSAs scale of right or wrong alwaysweighs in its favor. TSA would not alwaysobey by the rules of nature or otherwise.Especially regarding protecting the public

from harm. In particular, the foreign kind.TSA was the US governments responseto prevent further airline terrorist attacks.Instead, it routinely deals with much lessserious incidents such as drug trafficking,pornography, drunken passengers, orsimply confiscating prohibited items frompassengers, that may fall in the hands of

real terrorists.A federal security officer presents an

image of authority and deterrence to anyonewho contemplates premeditated harmfulacts to fellow passengers. The system isintended, at a minimum, to force terroriststo contemplate numerous alternative plansas to make any of the options unlikely tosucceed. TSA wants to be that terroristsworst nightmare.

An airport security checkpoint is apassengers last chance to make it safely totheir destination. That same passenger,however, has already been scrutinized fromthe moment the ticket reservations were

made to the moment he or she enters theairport. Physical screening will be next.


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8- THE REAL TRUTHI have won several national poster designawards from TSA. They always involvedsome sacrifice from my son to assist me in

the photo shoot. His reward was always moreTV time . When I took his alphabet floor matand started slicing it with scisors, he startedwondering if people should be protected fromme, not the other way around.

Even a child understands what a puzzlemeans. It connects only in certain ways, and

the missing pieces can be predictable as youstart from the periphery and work inward. Sowhat part of the puzzle was missing topredict 9/11? Was it poor inteligence, poorcommunication or simply incompetence?

Why would politicians not be truthful aboutthe nature and source of the problems?President Bush told the world there was a

definite link between Sadam and Al Qaeda. Inactuality, Sadam and Al Qaeda were swornenemies. General Powell testified at TheUnited Nations and confirmed the existenceof mobile chemical and biological laboratoriesto build Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.In truth, these so called weapons were usedfor farming purposes.

The media itself was a driving force inthis propaganda. I remember Fox newsencouraging everyone to destroy their Frenchwines and boycott any travel to France.France did not support the invasion of Iraq,nor believed that Iraq was involved in theWorld Trade Center attacks. They have

learned from history not to mess with anyArab country or Arab pride.


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9- LIVE AND LET LIVEThe adjacent picture shows a checkmate scenario,depicting Islamic terrorism in its last breath. Do wereally know the source of the problem? Initially, Bin

Laden asked the Americans to move US bases out ofthe Holy Land of Islam. He now justifies his hatred ofthe West for its one-sided policies in support of Israel.All this in the hopes of recruiting additional membersof his army.

Yesterday it was the Palestine Liberation Organi-zation (PLO), today it is Al Queda. What group will be

next? Their demands seem to simply overlap from onegeneration to the next. In 2008, a misguided group ofyoung Pakistanis with no affiliation to Al Qaida plottedto bring down several planes, in response to Israelsattacks on Lebanon. Their weapon of mass destructionwas to be liquid explosives solutions made from off-the shelf ordinary household items.

So is Islamic terrorism, which existed long before Al

Qaida, going to be eternal? Jews and Arabs are bothSemites, and have coexisted peacefully for centuries.After all, it was not the Muslims who killed 6 millionJews during the Holocaust. Muslims do not blameJews for killing Christ. The Quran, in fact, considersboth Moses and Christ to be important prophets,with their followers practicing in peace. During theSpanish Inquisition, most Jews sought refuge south, inthe Muslim country of Morocco, not France. My Motheris a direct descendant of that genocide.

Maybe the solution rests with a statement madeduring an interview, by Cl. Kaddafi of Libya, after hismost recent speech to the United Nations. Israel andPalestine should form one country, he said. Heinsinuated that true democracy should make the

formula work. Sort of like the South African model. Sortof like mixing oil and water.


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10- HOMEWORK OF THE DAYAfter most of the kids in my sons first grade class-room left, I asked Miss Lisa if I could take a picture ofthe blackboard for a poster project. She agreed. I

asked Adam to write the letters TSA + 911 = LIFE.Adam asked his teacher if this is 2d grade math. WithMiss Lisa at a loss she says its just a game; a deadlygame indeed.

In conclusion for this segment, Im wondering ifthere will ever be a time when ordinary civilians cango about their lives without paying the price forpolitical decisions. Terrorists that get indoctrinatedor brainwashed to kill all in the name of God. Sadly,many of them are willing to give their lives fortheir misguided and twisted beliefs. A big effort isneeded to properly educate all people.

When I lived in Amsterdam, I was for several yearsin the business of importing furniture and leatherbags from Morocco. I had the opportunity to spend

long nights with artisans in Casablancas old Kasbah,talking politics, Islam, Jihad and couscous. It wasclear that the workers, most of whom were poor menwith large families, would not hesitate a moment topick-up arms and defend the rights of Palestinians.I specifically asked why they would desert theirfamilies to join a Holy war thousands of miles awayfrom home, all in the name of Islam. The answershave always been an emphatic no. It all had to do withpride; misplaced Arab pride.

Morocco has a long history of coexistence with theJews. When the Nazis asked King Mohammed V tohand over the Jews of Morocco, the King refused. Hetold them that Jews in Morocco are Moroccans first,and he was not going to sacrifice any of his

disciples. To this day, the now deceased King ishighly regarded and honored in Israel.


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11- GOVERNMENT BAILOUTWhen I brought my wife and baby son to Houston, Texas, afterhaving been away for most of the 1990s, it was to be a temporarysituation. I had spent the better part of those years in Amster-

dam in the import/export industry. Much of my work was inCasablanca, where labor intensive manufacturing was done.

In America, however, my most valuable possession was mynew US patent which deals with certain breakthroughs in officefurniture manufacturing. The new technology was to makeme millions. In fact, I had already negotiated and signed amulti-million dollar license with an investor in New York City.

Once again, I was seeking the American dream.9/11 gave a deadly blow to all of those dreams. My investorhad lost millions as the stock markets tumbled and my licensewith him was to become another causualty. While it was goingto take me two more years to enter into another agreement, Idecided in the interim to seek employment at Bush InternationalAirport in Houston as a security officer. After all, if anyonecould discern genuine Arabs from fake Arabs, it was someone

like me. The terrorist profiles we were told to beleive werewell known to me. I spent years living among them, employingthem, and even sleeping with them.As TSA started mass hiring, I was already an airport screener. It

was just a matter of weeks before many of us private screenerswould become Federal employees.

Having to change overnight from a private security uniform toa government uniform was psychologically powerful. We werenow going to be Federal Security Officers, sworn to secure theterritories of the United States. We could be deployed anywhere,anytime at a moments notice. Welcome to the Army.

Having been self-employed for 15 years and now working forUncle Sam was a new experience. My pay was to be the same asmy salary was 20 years ago, as an engineer with GeneralElectric. Along with the authority, status and benefits a federal

job carries, our only regret is that officers can no longer screenthe opposite sex.


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12 FREEDOM OF EXPRESSIONOver the years, TSA displayed posters I have designed to com-memorate the anniversary of 9/11. They purchased many ofthem and displayed them at different job fairs. Tradeshows and

job fairs were used by TSA to promote its image and recruit newofficers.

As the 2009 anniversary of 9/11 was approaching, I took mylatest collection of new posters to TSAs main office in Houston,Texas. One poster included a portrait of a Moroccan bride,displaying her traditional wedding gown, revealing her Muslimfaith and referring to her husband as a TSA officer.

TSAs management response was slow in coming, but when itdid, it came with a vengeance in both tone and words. I wasinformed by TSAs legal department that I was no longer allowedto use the official TSA logos, and all future submissions had to beapproved by its headquarters in Washington. I was also told bythe manager in charge that he believed the bride poster wasinsulting to the American public. According to him, the wordMuslim ignited suspicious doubts among Americans.

Needless to say, I was shocked with his stereotypical view ofMuslims. The picture simply shows a bride in a traditionalwedding dress, married to a TSA officer. This statement shouldhave resonated favorably with traveling Muslim families whowere growing increasingly suspicious of TSAs procedures.Those suspicions would come to an abrupt stop if TSA clearlyacknowledged the existence of Muslims in its workforce.

Feeling misunderstood by my own employer, I decided to starta website (ThanksTSA.com) to pursue my artistic freedom. I wasnot going to be censured and silenced after having voluntereda tremendous amount of time, effort and expense to honor thevictims of 9/11. My next posters, however, were becomingsomewhat controversial. While the truth behind them cannot bedenied, my overall message regarding TSA remained positive.

I have subsequently received many compliments and praise

from senior managers at TSAs national headquarters, impressedwith the content of my website.


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13- PROTECTING THE HOMELANDFor my co-workers, having a government job in the aftermath of9/11 appeared to be a dream opportunity. The job was easy, itpaid well and moving up the ladder to a management position

was wide open. Some of the officers I know are making twicethe salaries they started with. Buying a home and raising afamily was becoming a reality for most. It was capitalism at theexpense of terrorism.

So who are these TSA officers? They seem not much differentthan the private security officers I had worked with. After 9/11,a lot of the blame was directed towards airport screeners for theirlack of diligence. It was soon becoming public that those privatescreeners, who represented a travelers last line of defenseagainst terrorists, were paid little more than minimum wages.Obviously, you get what you pay for.

Under government pressure, private security companiesquickly corrected the situation by increasing wages about 50%.A few weeks later, as TSA took full control of the checkpoints,officers made even higher salaries while the job qualifications

remained the same. To be a US citizen, having a clean back-ground check, a high school diploma and been over 18 years ofage were all that was required.

Many of the 18-year-old screeners I worked with were recenthigh school graduates, but just as many were college graduateshoping to land other government jobs. For many, the economysdownturn ruined job prospects, and the security of a governmentjob was enticing.

At the beginning of TSAs takeover, a lot of passengers wereoffended because they felt violated and degraded by young,inexperienced screeners as they were patted down or had theircarry-on baggage searched. I once witnessed a business womanexpose her breasts in protest because she felt humiliated whenasked to remove the upper garment. Many males dropped theirpants in protest. Behavior incidents of all kinds were becoming

frequent and police presence was required at every checkpointduring the first two years.


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14- TWO PARTIES TWO COUNTRIESHaving witnessed the aftermath of 9/11 and how TSA completelyshook the airline industry, TSA also turned inward to screen itsown work force. After only a few weeks on the job, I was charged

with sexual harassment towards a co-worker. She accused me ofreferring to the size of her breasts. I denied it, saying I onlyreferred to her as a cow. Americans, I noticed, are much moresensitive to discrimination of all sorts; race, gender, nationalorigin, age and others. The office of civil rights was very busyhandling all kinds of frivolous conflicts at the expense of thebusiness of security. It was however necessary.

While I noticed that most Caucasian screeners in Houston areRepublican, most African Americans were Democrats. This splitcarried equally to other politics; the war with Iraq in 2002,the re-election of president Bush, the bashing of the French fornot joining the war, and finally President Obama.

TSA had 3 work shifts, an am shift, a pm shift and an overnightshift. All shifts included long periods of inaction, transformingofficers into great debaters. I have been issued several US patents

for inventions I made just on such moments (DVDSkirts.com).Politics, however, was the main subject, and what a decade it hasbeen. The Republican screeners believed everything PresidentBush was saying, while the Democrats have been skeptical.

Many were against the war and believed it to be a costly venturein terms of money, lives and prestige, to settle some outstandingfamily business between the Bushes and the Husseins. They alsobelieved Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction and that he

was the sworn enemy of Al Qaeda, not its partner.After the US invasion, and Iraqs capitulation, many screeners

predicted a long war as the US military dissolved the RepublicanArmy and the Baath Party. They accused US political leaders ofbeing amateurs and shortsighted.

During the presidential election of 2009, I made no secret ofmy support for Obama, now that Hackerby was out. After all, we

both have interracial, interreligious and international back-grounds. I believed that he was going to be a uniting force.


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15- FIGHTING NATUREAs if the war with Iraq and Afghanistan were notenough, America has had to deal with hurricanes.Neither myself nor my wife have ever lived in the

south before the year 2000. In the summer of2006, when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans,we watched in horror the impact it left on thecity. At my job, many TSA officers from NewOrleans were transferred to Houston. The newofficers described to us firsthand the horrificimpact and devastation they witnessed.

A few weeks later, Hurricane Rita was heading

towards Houston. Our families from France andMorocco frantically urged us to leave Houston,as everyone was monitoring its progress throughthe internet. I refused to budge, but my wife andfreinds decided to flee the city with the other100 thousand people, and go more inland to SanAntonio. The images from Hurricane Katrina, the

broken levies, and the city of New Orleans underseveral feet of water was too much for Malika.She just shrugged me off, as I explained to noavail that Houston was forty feet above sea level.Leaving me and my 4-year-old behind, she saidyou both know how to swim, I dont.

It would take her a 20 hour drive to reach SanAntonio, and 6 hours to drive back. When she

called at 2am to see if we were still alive. I wasupset because she woke me up. As luck had it,the eye of the hurricane shifted to the north,sparing the city a direct hit.

Two years later, in the summer of 2008,another Hurricane, Ike, struck Houston head-on.TSA, as it does every year, spared no effort in

preparing its workforce for the hurricaneseason. This time it was going to be war.


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16 HELP US HELP YOU


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16- HELP US HELP YOUWhile Hurricane Rita was a false alarm, Hurricane Ikewas to restore all respect a major hurricane deserves.Im now a true believer.

I was living on the ground floor of a 16 floor high-rise. My wife was 8-months pregnant. This time Iwouldt let her leave. As Hurricane Ike approached, thetrees outside suddenly went into a frenzy. Largebranches were flying across, the pool chairs and tablestossed in the street like Frisbees. The windows wereshaking to the breaking point as they tried helplesslyto stop the slamming rain. Before long, all of the carpet

inside was under 2 inches of water.The city suddenly plunged in total darkness. My

neighbors from the top floors told me later thatthey did not believe they were going to survive. Thebrick building was swaying, as in a major earthquake.This lasted not for seconds, but for several hours.Families curled-up together in the stairwell throughout

the night, crying and praying.Light and water was to be cut for several days in ourbuilding. In other areas it was to take several weeksfor the power to be restored. Supermarkets and gasstations were closed, except for a few stations wherelines of cars were wrapped around the block.

The aftermath of Hurricane Ike reminded me of myfirst visit to the US in the summer of 1976. My trip

coincided with the 1976 Arab oil embargo against theWest. The embargo was to punish the America for itssupport of Israel during the ongoing Middle East war.Supermarkets had run-out of sugar and oil ,andevryone was glued to their TV set.

To its credit, TSA made available large supplies offood and water to TSA employees and their families.

Even gasoline was freely given to make sureattendance was not disturbed.


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17 CONDITIONAL TRUST


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17- CONDITIONAL TRUSTSo what is security Sensitive Information (SSI)?Information that is detrimental to the securityof passengers should it fall in the hands of

terrorists or the media. Information that isbriefed daily to all screeners, as it discussesthe latest security breaches happening aroundthe country, repercussions from certain wordevents, new training material or simply recentnews articles from the media, as they applyto the Home Land Security.

SSI information cannot be noted on paper

and removed from the premises. Obviously,the reason is that such information couldultimately be obtained by terrorists.

The lack of being able to keep notes fromtraining classes has proved to be impractical.Basically all information is for your memoryonly and no records can be kept.

Training often involves the introduction ofnew machines. Our latest Explosive Detector is100 times more accurate than the previousone. While leaving your notes behind aftersuch training is not a problem, as extensivepractice sessions are sure to follow, othertopics are. If training involved learning aboutcertain explosives, then the absence of notes

hinders the officer ability to remember. Afterall, how often does an TSA officer encounterexplosives much less become an authorityin them? The odds are that the next time hemay come across it, the details for the rest ofus may first come from CNN. The internet isanother source that provides to our dismay,

much of the sensitive SSI material that isroutinely taken away from us.


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18- BLOW THE HORN


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18 BLOW THE HORNIn theory, TSAs handling of security sensitive material iscorrect. I had worked in the past for multinationals such asGE, where much of the standard operating procedures and

technical information was sensitive and proprietary. Patentsnumbers and trademarks are clearly displayed to dissuadeanyone from infrangement.

What if ideas, procedures or strategies need protection? Youcannot patent an idea! You can only rely on the integrity of theworkforce. Having your marketing strategies or proceduresexposed to a competitor can hurt your company.

Government on the other hand, does not take lightly to such

behavior. Lives can be at stake if information is not properlychanneled and protocols and procedures are not followed.Those who break these guidelines can easily face criminalcharges and even jail time.

In the majority of cases, its not enough to believe youreadequately protected. Its recommended to develop safeguardsin case breaches do occur. At Bush Intercontinental in Houston,

the fourth largest airport in the US, I witnessed the responseto several breaches related to errors that happened at thecheckpoint level. Most of such breaches involved passengerswho took a wrong turn while a TSA officer was distracted.

Closing the flow in or out of a checkpoint was the immedi-ate response. Closing the entire airport would soon follow.While all officers from the TSA, airport operations security andlaw enforcement agencies are busy securing all entry/exit

points, precious time is been wasted for the airlines. With themultitude of cameras throughout the airport, whatever they arelooking for is likely been recorded.

Delays in departures and arrivals usually start a ripplingeffect that disrupts the entire country. With millions of dollarsat stake, TSA has to answer to the airlines for the losses theyincurred, and you can believe some heads had to roll. With somany false alarms in the past, airlines grew weary of theentire process.


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19- SCREW THE S.O.P.


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At the start of 2010, there was a serious inciden regardingthe publication of the TSA Standard Operating Proceduremanual(SOP) on the internet. It was rumored that a TSA officer

was responsible for allowing this security Bible to be down-loaded, free. You can also pay $5 at Amazon.comThe media ran with the story with a fury. The public and the

politicians cried foul. The Republicans immediately pointedfingers at the Democrats, accusing them of being reckless withsecurity matters. Everyone was dismayed at how billions ofdollars invested in security and equipment went down thedrain. Machines were to become useless overnight, and our

security procedures worthless. Al Qaeda was probably havinga field day.

In the days following the news of the leak, I was approachedby several passengers for comments on the situation. Need-less to say, their opinions were tongue-in-cheek. I was askedby a few passengers how it felt to be a traitor and how we canlive with the shame. One passenger even got in my face and

asked how I could sleep at night after having divulged oursecrets to Muslims.While the country was wondering if anyone would fly again,

it occurred to me that the publication of the SOP could onlyprove to terrorists the futility of their actions. Much of theSOP material can be witnessed while comfortably sitting ata Starbucks cafe facing a checkpoint and taking notes at yourleisure. Any frequent traveler is already familiar with much of

the procedures we employ.Furthermore, it would be useless for anyone to attempt out-

smarting our screening procedures, as they are completelyunpredictable. Just like old wine, TSA is no longer in its honey-moon phase. TSA has become much better and wiser with age.All officers have developed a sixth sense when it comes toscreening, and no SOP, present or future tops that. Much of thefreedom given to officers to perform their job goes wellbeyond the teachings of the SOP. Enjoy your reading!


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20- SECURITY WITH A TWIST


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Winning a design competition with TSA was abig personal achievement, because many of theofficers had been working as professional

graphic designers before 9/11. To know how theUS economy is doing, the government can simplymonitor how the job market is doing withinadvertising market and among graphic artists.

In the summer of 2008, TSA decided tolaunch a national competition for the best SSIposter. As in the past, I decided to enter thecompetition with a poster showing a dozen eggs

with the slogan Handle with Care. The TSAmanager in charge of the project called me backto say that the Washington office liked theposter and asked if I could make more. Thiswas to increase my chances of winning. Iagreed to make 3 more.

That was not the case. I ended up in third

place, with my chances been diluded instead.The official TSA bulletin described the results asvery close between the top three places. I waslater asked what was my thought behind thediaper poster. Was I making fun of the wholeprocess?

I must admit that few Security SensitiveInformation disclosed to officers can be helpful

to terrorists. Our duties are very well definedand consistent regardless of external events.Our job has become a science and must beperformed in the same way all of the time.Information that a terrorist could use wouldmost likely be provided by news outlets not TSA.If a terrorist is simply trying to read intopossible weaknesses in checkpoint security,theyre wasting their time.


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21- THE REAL AMERICANAfter 9/11 Caucasians African Americans and Asians were


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After 9/11, Caucasians, African Americans and Asians wereconsidered safe passengers, or so they believed. After all, it wasthose damn Arabs who created 9/11. What many Americansfailed to realize is that most Arabs in the US are Christians andconsidered to be Caucasians.

At the beginning of TSA, the reasons for selecting a passen-ger for secondary screening were unknown to the public. Whilethe information was supposed to be SSI, many in the media werebroadcasting its secrets. The purchasing of one way tickets orusing cash were 2 red flags. The underwear bomber did both,but because he flew from an overseas airport, the flagging

system did not work.It took a whole year for the traveling public to anderstand the

reasons they were being flagged. They assumed they somehowlooked or behaved suspiciously. They felt humiliated to bethought of as less American . They blamed it on the Pakistaniagent at the counter, or the Phillipino TSA officer. They mustbe Al Qaeda sympathizers. Whats this country coming to? Thismust be a world-wide conspiracy or an invasion of extra-

terrestrials.I witnessed first-hand how ugly some Americans could act.

They simply refused to be treated like terrorists. You could seeand sense the hatred towards foreigners. How can they be forcedto wait in the pen as selectees for additional screening, while allthose brown people are free to proceed? Who is the enemy here?Where is justice? How can America be so blind? It must be all

those Jewish lawmakers, with their civil rights agenda.Living in Texas was a new experience, but little did I know howproud the cowboys could be. Some cowboys intentionallydropped their pants when asked to remove their boots. Theywould remove their shirt and throw it on the floor as theyblamed the brass buttons for the alarm. Some even spit onofficers for simply asking them to remove their hat. On manyoccasions, I called on law enforcement to stand by as I screened

them or even worse, going through their personal items.

22- FOR GODS SAKESo what happens when an adult passenger misbehaves? Stupid


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So what happens when an adult passenger misbehaves? Stupidquestion, right? According to police officers, a passenger canwalk through the checkpoint in his underwear if he so chooses.There is no law in Texas against it. But how about TSA officers?What kind of authority do we have at a checkpoint to controlpassengers acting suspiciously? A lot.

Any TSA officer has the right to subject any passenger tosecondary screening at any time. Even if the passenger alreadypicked up his or her belongings and is headed out the checkpoint,he can be stopped. The officer can ask the passenger to returnand submit himself or his belongings for additional screening

without any justification whatsoever. Crying foul and asking forthe supervisor to complaint would do no good. A supervisordoes not have the authority to overturn any officers call foradditional screening; theres simply nothing he or she can do buthand you a complaint form. The passenger must comply or facedealing with law enforcement agents. Letting a passenger simplywalk out because he changed his mind about flying as a concealedweapon is about to be discovered is out of the question.

Falling into this category of bad boys are airline employees.While many of them have joined TSA, the rest had little respect forTSA. After all, most have been there long before TSA took overcheckpoint security. They were used to getting away with a lotand considered the previous screeners nuisances. Their salarieswere perfectly fit for their brainless jobs.

Now, airline employees are required to remove their coats,

laptops and DVDs from their carry-on, and act polite. Some TSAofficers have gone so far as to deny flying to some pilots becausethey suspected them of been under the influence of alcohol. Howdare TSA do that to them? After all, a pilot can nosedive a planeinto a building anytime he wants. Why should he surrender hisknife when he ultimately has total control of the plane and ofthe lives of his passengers? Better not piss him off. Armedairline pilots on the other hand are the luckiest since they bypass

security all together.


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23- MAKING THE DIFFERENCETo escape the Middle Eastern terrorist image, not all travelers of olive


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To escape the Middle Eastern terrorist image, not all travelers of olivecomplexion decided to give-up their traditional garb. Hindus kept thesaris, exposed tattoos and donned excessive bracelets. Hispanics,

realizing they could possibly be mistaken for Middle Easterners,decided their native tongue was now welcomed, converse loudly inSpanish.

Many Muslims relinquished their traditional clothing, shaved theirbeards, put on a smile and appeared Western. To see the extent of sucha transformation, you only need to compare them to their passportpicture, which showed many in their traditional Arab garb.

Muslim travelers have always suspected TSA officers of profiling.

I wonder why! During the Hajj season, one passenger asked me, Isthis line for Muslims only? I almost said, Do you see any armedguards? He then continued I have bottles of Holy water from Mecca,and Id like to keep them. No, I said, but youre welcome to go backout and drink as much as you like. You can put the rest in the Holytrash bin. Iranians are the most humorous. They say theyre Persians,never Iranians. Were Persian Meow. We just want peaceful nuclearenergy.

Many of my co-workers called me the equalizer, from an old TVdetective series because I always volonteered and assisted Muslimfamilies, never suspecting I might be Muslim myself. Other officerswere generally uncomfortable when they had to screen a Pakistanifamily or traditional Arab. Theyre afraid of been accused of profilingor excessiveness. Sometimes for fear of having the passenger pull adagger and attack. For myself, I simply welcomed them with Salam

Alikom. Peace be with you, I said. You can immediately see theirfacial expressions change from fear and hate to wanting to embraceme. Thats all it takes to make friends with a Muslim; any Muslim.

Once, an Egyptian diplomat was surprised and pleased to be greetedin Arabic. He relayed this message to TSA management, which I laterreceived via email. It stated the following: Passenger HusomeddinAlmadoni wrote about William Touzani on 8/15/09: Courteous,professional, greeted me in my language. Excellent customer service.Thank you William.


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24- MUSLIM OR AMERICANTo be Muslim or Arab American was not American enough to


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gmany TSA employees. The adjacent poster shows the Quran inplace of a variety of traditional garb many Muslims wear to

the checkpoint. This is especially true during the 2 week Hajjpilgrimage to Mecca.I witnessed many employees ask for an additional ID because

they did not believe the passports were proof enough of theircitizenship. Muslims were regularly scrutinized more by officersand even put through secondary screening for no reason buttheir Muslim appearance. Such behavior infuriated me and Iwas quick to complain to supervisors. It was profiling at its

worse.TSA strictly forbids such conduct and tries its best to educate

officers against any kind of profiling or prejudice based onreligion, color or national origin. Such behavior was widelypracticed shortly after the events of 9/11, during a time whenthe country was in mass hysteria regarding Muslims.

Today, very few officers discriminate against traditionalMuslims. Its hard to notice as officers are closely monitored,except for the occasional Lysol spraying after the passage of aMuslim family. It had long occurred to me that those sameoffending officers are the same ones that would never vote for ablack president.

Taking exception to Arab stereotyping were two recent Arabairlines flying from the international terminal. Qatar Airwaysand Emirates provided a whole new standard in grace and

beauty. They included employees from over 100 countries andtheir uniforms were designed by top European designers. Manyof the stewardesses looked like models. Officers call themharem girls; I call them by first names. If I was to spend 16 hourson their plane, it would take me that long to find my seat.

Thats one of the few occasions officers have difficultyfocusing on their job. Another time was when Beyonce wascoming through the checkpoint. TSA has yet to provide oneappropriate training to deal with such situations.


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25- MY WIFE IS OKIn November of 2008, I was visiting my family in both France andM T d th d f k l t i C bl I


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Morocco. Towards the end of my week-long stay in Casablanca, Iwas encouraged by some previous business acquaintances toexhibit my posters in a local art gallery for the public to view. Theyfelt that with many Moroccans traveling to the US, and with airportsecurity being too confusing, who better qualified to shed lighton this topic than me? I finally agreed to have a showing for oneevening only, exhibiting all 40 posters included in this book.

To play it safe and wanting to consult a TSA representative onthe matter, I decided to visit the US consulate in Casablanca. I hadbeen there 10 years earlier to submit my wifes immigrant visa, and

it was an experience I dont care to remember. My wife was20-years old, but still half my age. We were both scrutinized byofficials as if I was in the sex trafficking business.

Subsequent travels with my wife through US airports were togenerate the same sentiments. Some even gave me a suspiciouslook as to whether I was really sure that the carrier of this Arabicpassport was trustworthy.

On this day however, once inside the US compound, after passing

the security checks, I completed the required form and handed theofficer my government ID. A few minutes later, as it probably tookthat long for a background check to be conducted, a gentlemanfinally arrived with an extended hand. He introduced himself andhanded me a visitors badge.

As a security door opened, I was led down a stairwell to anunderground complex. There was no other person in sight but I

was sure there were plenty of cameras watching me. My pictureswere probably fed instantly to Washington as we walked. Therewere a series of small offices and I was wondering if any of themled to a torture chamber. There were rumors about some CIAdetainees being channeled through Morocco.

Keith explained that he was an attach for the Department ofHomeland Security, and that the TSA representative was presentlytraveling through North Africa. After a few pleasantries at his

office, I left the consulate to prepare for the art exhibit.

26- LOST IN TRANSLATIONMy brother is an architect and works for a large Frenchbank He volunteered to take control of the art exhibit and


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bank. He volunteered to take control of the art exhibit andhad all 40 photos enlarged and framed. The exhibit wasdisplayed in the living room of a large mansion in anaffluent suburb of Casablanca. Invitations were hand-delivered to over 50 people, all corporate executivesfrom the plastics, textiles and banking industries. To oursurprise, over 100 people showed up for the exhibit. Theinterest was so great and the discussions so intense thatthe exhibit lasted well after midnight.

Most of the questions I was asked related to TSAs role

in airport security. Everyone wanted to know if there is ablack list of passengers or countries, do passengers getprofiled, what constitutes suspicious behavior, and areArabs mistreated at checkpoints. Walking a fine line notto divulge any SSI information, the Moroccans seemed towelcome my responses.

Some visitors at first had a low opinion of America. Withconversations being conducted in French, Arabic, English,

Dutch and German, sometimes I felt as if I was in theUnited Nations trying to convince Arab delegates thatAmerica will not use WMD on them.

As many of my posters were far from being flattering toTSA, the attendees eventually realized that I was not doinga sales pitch for TSA. Instead, I was conveying an unbi-ased and honest opinion of TSAs effort to serve the public

at large, and also dispelling some of the harmful rumorsregarding TSAs procedures. TSA should have definitelypaid me overtime for this and for the subsequenttherapy I needed.

The evening ended positively and I still receive ordersfor my posters to this day. Over 500 poster-size photo-graphs have been sold , and continue to be displayed inmany prominent homes and businesses throughout the

kingdom of Morocco.

27- ARABS ARE NOT CREATED EQUALOne of the first educational posters TSA made available toit ffi t i d I di Sikh i t diti l h d


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its officers contained Indian Sikhs in traditional head-gearand wardrobes, as to distinguish them from Muslims. In

another poster, Arabs were shown to have different com-plexions varying from black to blond, and a question bellowsaying Can you tell which one is Arab? The poster wasmade to make officers not rely on stereotypes alone.

I met my wife Malika in an aerobics class in the cityof Casablanca. She was to be married to a young man, herdistant cousin in Strasbourg, France. While most of herfamily is from the eastern part of France, it took me no time

to convince her that America was a better prospect. Herfamily had no problem either; they simply wanted to knowif I was circumcised.

Immigrants from North Africa make-up the majority ofMuslims in Western Europe, and over 5% of the popula-tion. In Eastern Europe Muslims represent much moreand even constitute the majority in many areas of theBalkans. Albanians are predominately Muslims. While theEast Europeans converted to Islam following the expansionof the Ottoman Empire, the North Africans immigrated toEurope after WWII.

During WWII, France enticed many Moroccans to jointhe Army and help liberate France from the Nazis. Manyvolunteered as they believed that once Hitler erased theJews, he was to do the same with the Arabs. Most North

Africans were sent on suicide missions as they were viewedas sub humans. My wifes grandfather was very lucky tosurvive the war, his brothers did not.

In the 1960s, as the industrial revolution was booming inthe West, the French called on North Africans to immigrateto France as local manpower was insufficient. Workers fromthe old colonies of France were a good choice, since theyknew the language well enough to quickly assimilate. Theydecided to make France their second home.


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28- ONE GOD IS PLENTYI have 4 boys from 3 different women. Andrew was raised Catholic,my second son Kay was raised in Holland as Protestant, and my 2


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my second son Kay was raised in Holland as Protestant, and my 2youngest, Adam and Alex, are raised Muslim. One thing all mychildren have in common is the fact that I never gave them anyreligious guidance. As an agnostic, I simply could not with a straightface answer any questions my children have about God, the Bible orthe Quran. While Im happy and jealous of people who have unshakenbeliefs, for me the whole subject simply bored me.

Having lived through so many Middle East wars, where Arab statesunited againsts Israel, one would think that Islam and Judaismteach opposite ideologies and serve different Gods. Nothing could

be further from the truth. Its interesting to note that the biggestgenocides this century were committed by Christians. First duringWWII, six million Jews were exterminated at the hands of Germans.In the 90s, while cameras were rolling, over 300,000 Muslim civiliansin the Balkans were slaughtered by Christians again. Yet Muslimsand Jews did their best to forget and blame it instead on bad luck.

When 9/11 happened, the media called the handful of terroristsresponsible Muslim extremists. To the American public, it meant

Muslims period. All 1.5 billion Muslims were demonized overnightand blamed for all the evil in the world.

So what is it about Islam that makes the West afraid? The Muslimsare supposed to be more tolerant than other religions. The nameIslam means peace and conversions by force are not allowed. Islamcame 6 centuries after Christianity and it was to be a newer, revisedand modern edition of the Bible. The Quran includes almost all

teachings from the Old Testament and the New Testament. WhileMohammed is supposed to be the last of all prophets, Muslims evenbelieve that Christ is the son of God with one distinction; so are allthe rest of us.

As I watch my children grow, am I supposed to love my Muslim sonmore than my Catholic son? Would my child think less of his brotheror his parents because they have a different faith? Going further,can any human being wish harm to children of any race, religion or

color? Would you protect them with your life?


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29- GODS AND POLITICIANSAs the 9th anniversary of 9/11 was approaching, in June of 2009, Idecided to contact the Arabic Cultural Center of Houston in order to


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organize an event to exhibit my artwork. The president of the center,Mr. Yassin, was a Jordanian-American and a successful businessmanin the oil industry. I met with him several times and he agreed toorganize the exhibit.

Arabs and Muslims in general have avoided acknowledging theanniversary of 9/11 as it reminded America of their Muslim enemies.Mr. Yassin and I decided that there was no need to hide from thishistorical event and be open and participate. After all, Muslimswere victimized just like everyone else.

Mr. Yassin had past experience organizing events where promi-nent politicians and local business owners were invited. Thisexhibition was however to include religious speakers to pray for thevictims of 9/11 and to talk about our common humanity. It was toinclude at least one Imam from a local mosque, an Arab Christianpriest and a Rabbi from Morocco was to be invited.

I was not excited about inviting politicians, most of whom I regu-larly meet at the airport. One congresswomen is particularly famous

for being difficult with TSA security officers, and for good reason. Iwitnessed officers making unnecessary checks on politicians andother dignitaries just to get attention. I personally believed that suchhigh-profile individuals should have special escorts to prevent abuseand excessive screening.

A civil rights leader was another regular that I occasionallyscreened. I found him to be a decent man until he decided to pick-up

my wife during one of his trips. He approached her as she wasworking as supervisor at The Plaza Hotel in downtown Houstonduring a banquet in his honor.

After ignoring him all evening, he suddenly stopped her andasked if she knew who he was. All I know is that you must beimportant, she said. He then asked where she was from. As soon asshe said from Morocco, he turned to all the guests and said, Thisbeautiful woman is from Morocco. He then spent the rest of the day

sending his bodyguards with invitations.

30- WHAT A TRIPSo lets look at a crystal ball and see what airport screeninglooks like in 2025. We all know that in the aftermath of 9/11


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America declared war on Muslim terrorism around the globe.The war is now over. The Palestinian and Israelies live side-

by-side in peace. Iran has come clean with nuclear energy andnuclear power is used for peaceful purposes only. Iranians andSaudis are best friends. All American bases on Arab soil aregone. America is now everybodys best friend.

For TSA, the only terrorism to worry about would be of thedomestic kind. For example, the businessman who hates theIRS and decides to crash his plane into a federal building.

Two options now are possible for TSA. One would be for thefederal government to get out of the screening business andhand over checkpoint operations to the city as it was done inthe past. By the way, some cities such as San Francisco havenever been federalized and did just fine. The advantage withkeeping the checkpoints in the hands of the city is consistentwith the American tradition of less government and moreprivate enterprise. Its the best way to have better control, to

be more efficient and to reduce waste.The other option is to keep TSA as an integral agency of the

Homeland Security, the same as the INS and Customs. After all,checkpoints today are also points of entry to and from the US,and keeping them as federal jurisdiction may make sense.The advantage here is that federal officers carry more author-ity and can better keep passengers in check.

There are three roles to a checkpoint: a) to make sure thatyou are who you say you are, b) that you have no intent toharm passengers, and c) that you do not deal in illegal activi-ties. The goal is that sometime soon the technology willreach a level of performance that would allow everyone tokeep their shoes and coats on and to carry their drinksthrough the checkpoint. You wont need a ticket or an ID towalk to the gates to say goodby to your loved ones. I vividly

remember those days. The America I first came to love.


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31- THE MAGIC WANGHand-wanding is a verb that doesnt exist in the English language but isstrongly despised by all passengers. When TSA took over checkpointoperations they were quick to develop a hand-wand procedure for the


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operations, they were quick to develop a hand wand procedure for theofficers. Its designed to cover all areas of the body in an organized fash-

ion as it looks for metal objects.Every alarm had to be thoroughly checked and the metal objects causing

the alarm identified. For most passengers, this means wasting 10 or 15minutes at the mercy of a perfect stranger wearing gloves and asking youto perform a series of positions. Most passengers are ready to go throughthe worst just to get it over with. Sounds like the red-light district. Bodyscanners are now being installed to replace much of that embarrassingexercice routine.

Often, inexperienced women would alarm the metal detector and imme-diately open their arms for anyone to pat them down. Several times I wasinterrupted by fellow TSA officers as I was in the middle of hand-wandinga woman. It took me forever to give up that practice as it was commonpractice with private screeners before TSA. Most women did not care whatyou do in public as long as they did not miss their flight.

While most alarms are obvious to the officer, such as jeans rivets, coins,

cigarette pack or a cell phone, others are not. Take for instance the 12-year-old who swears he has nothing in his pockets, and once taken for ahand-wand reveals a pack of cigarettes. Or the man who keeps setting offthe alarm with his foil-wrapped condoms.

The bra in particular gave us a run for our money. After the femalepassenger divests all metal objects, she continues to alarm, yet all bodycontours are perfectly clean. Now it becomes interesting as both screenersand passengers are increasingly curious. The woman finally whispered,

Its the bra. At that point, shes put in the pen, and hand-wanding isordered.

One day my wife came home from work and I quickly grabbed her withmy camera in my hand and asked her to get on her knees. She protestedand wondered what kind of a pornographic movie I had watched. Ifinally convinced her that it was a poster idea, and promised the picturewould be altered with special effects and no one would recognize her. I

then handed her a bra to wear on top of her clothes and proceeded with thepictures.


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32- HUMAN PARTSLate on evening, I decided to scribble some notes regarding thischapter. It was going to be easy. After all there are a lot of peoplewith hip and knee replacements each with their own stories and


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with hip and knee replacements, each with their own stories and jokes. They know theyre going to set off the alarm and are pre-

pared for the hand-wand procedure.The saddest situations for TSA officers however, are all those

young men and women that return from Iraq and Afghanistan. Theyhave lost limbs from IED explosions and are sometimes completelydisfigured. Their life and their families have forever been ruined.All that was left was their pride in having defended the homeland.

All of the sudden, my eyes filled up with tears and I quickly left

to get a paper towel. To the amazement of my co-workers, myeyes turned red and my face swelled-up. I immediately explainedthat it must be an allergic reaction to something. The truth is that Ihad just remembered an incident that happened 4 years ago, whenmy wife and son came to the checkpoint on their way to visitingfamily in France.

Adam was 4-years-old when he attempted to walk through themetal detector at the checkpoint where I worked. To the surprise

of the officer standing at the Metal Detector, the machine alarmedand pointed to an area around his head. I immediately realized thatthe titanium plate from his brain surgery set off the alarm.

I asked my son to follow me to the back for a hand-wand .As I held the hand-wand over his head, I could hear a loud alarmingsound that almost brought me down to my knees. My son simplyraised his head and look at me as I stood behind him. His eyes wideopen and with a large smile he said do that again Daddy. I slowlyscanned around his skull to discover to my horror that the alarmcontinued down to his ears. At that point, I lost it. I simply handedthe wand over to another officer and broke down in tears. Not beingable to talk, I whispered to my wife that I would meet her at thegate.

As I drove home that night, I had no idea I was going 90 miles anhour. I had only one thing in my mind; God may not always love my

son, but I always do.

33- GETTING PERSONALAs a TSA officer working in a checkpoint, were supposed to aska passenger whether he or she prefers a private screening. Mostdecline and proceed for a hand-wand check or a body pat-down. But,


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decline and proceed for a hand wand check or a body pat down. But,what happens when the alarming object is in a private area, such as

a hidden piercing on genitals? The officer has no way of knowing ifits a hand gun, a knife or a battery. They all alarm the same.

What if an officer requests that a bulging area on the body of apassenge be removed and gets no response? Instead, the passengertakes off running, leaving shoes and all of their belongingsbehind. Those passengers are instinctively chased by TSA officersand tackled to the ground. The arrests usually reveal concealed bagsof drugs inside their underwear.

One day I had a passenger come through the Metal Detector andI selected him for additional screening to be performed. He had alarge erection on his crutch area that looked unnatural. Herequested private screening and was taken to a private room. Heimmediately dropped his pants, lifted his shirt and stared at us. Hehad a medical condition that enlarged his testicles to the size ofa melon. My co-worker and I still have nightmares about that day.

Most private screenings involve women wearing long traditionalrobes. Men such as Hindu priests dont care if the pat-down is donein public. Arab and south Asian women, some with veils, usuallyinsist on private screening. Except for the older ones, I wassurprised to see so many well educated Arab women from the gulfstates. They spoke softly and in perfect English. Once an Arab mantells me that his mother refuses private screening because shesuspected one of the female officers to be a man. I asked him inbroken Arabic if he can guarantee that the person inside that veiledBurka does not have a beard.

Other private screenings involve passengers luggage. Some of thebags contain sex aids, while others contain large amounts of cashor jewelry. The carriers of the bags are often afraid to expose thecontents of the bags in public for fear of being followed androbbed. One passenger once told me he had over 10 million dollars

worth of diamond rings. I still have his business card.

34- SMART PROFILINGSince TSA started checkpoint operations, passengers quickly learnedand dreaded 3 instructions; male alarm, female alarm and bag check.For the first 2 years passengers were not given a second chance to


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For the first 2 years, passengers were not given a second chance tore-enter the metal detector. Even though the cause was obvious to the

officer, such as an obvious cell phone or IPod, it was too late for thepassenger who must undergo a hand-wand check.

One day I arrived to work and was told during briefing that TSA hadchanged its policy. Passengers were now allowed to walk through themetal detector a second time after divesting more metals or electronicsfrom their pockets. This was the biggest improvement TSA has evermade. The flow of passengers through the checkpoint suddenly

doubled and our workload diminished by half. Today, passengers arepermitted to re-enter the metal detector several times.TSA was using more common sens and becoming more logical and

reasonable in its procedures. Officers could not understand why ittook 2 years to correct something so obvious, since the goal was toclear the metal detector, not harass passengers. It seemed that TSApurposely adopted screening methods to create traffic jams and chaos,to give the impression to a would-be terrorist that the odds of getting

screened are very high. Indeed they were.Officers were finally enjoying their new found freedoms as the

checkpoint environment had suddenly become very peaceful. For TSAthat was unacceptable. They had to come up with something else.Since carry-on bags represented a bigger security threat than passen-gers, why not stop every other carry-on bag? What better reason to callfor a bag check than adding lighters to the list of prohibited items?

Matches were OK, for now.Since America was fighting foreign terrorists, this would prove agreat way to stop mostly foreigners. Foreigners are four times morelikely to smoke than Americans, and no one would suspect any kindof profiling. Its a win-win situation if you dont take into accountthe poor screeners. This theory was actually proposed to me by anItalian passenger who complimented me on how ingenious the ideawas, and how smart the people in Washington were. Thanks, I said

to him with a fake smile.


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35- DESIGNER BAGSIf someone had told me 10 years ago that my job would involve checkingpersonal belongings of strangers at airports, I wouldnt have believedthem. Officers are always happy to perform a baggage check on beautiful


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y ppy p gg gwomen and celebrities. I have come across hundreds of celebrities, digni-

taries and politicians over the years, which has made my job a real treat.A TSA officer has the right to search any bag of his or her choosing

while the passenger is still at the checkpoint. Even if the passengerdecides not to proceed and wants to go back, the bag must still bechecked. A terrorist with a gun is not to be allowed back with anunchecked bag so he can test the system another day.

Common bag checks involve some specific electronic items left inside

the bag. TSA has always insisted on having laptops and camcordersgo through the X-ray machine, in plain view. Intelligence has uncoveredmany of these items in terrorist hide-outs, having been altered andtampered with.

So how reliable are X-Ray machines in recognizing tampered electron-ics? Having spent years installing CAT scanners around the world, I mustsay those machines are wonders of technology. For a patient, the X-raytube pulsates 360 degrees around the body to give the radiologist all of

the necessary data. He can assemble his slices in any sequence hepleases. He can pinpoint certain areas of the body and determine thespecific make-up of any tissue, including explosive material. I doubtpatients eat explosives before having a CAT scan.

The poor X-ray officer in the other hand, is no radiologist, thoughsometimes we do unintentionally screen cats and dogs. Unlike CATscans, our X-ray machine provides continuous scanning of moving bags

simultaneously from 2 different angles. A knife that is shown from thetop may look like a quarter, while the second screen will clearly show itfrom the profiled angle.

In addition, improved software technologies are automatically alertingthe operator of certain prohibited items. The software is sometimes soadvanced that it recognizes many of the components that make-up an IEDand most weapons. If the operator misses all warnings because hes beendistracted by some gorgeous woman, the machine simply shuts down.


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36- ITALIAN SHOESProbably the most hated terrorist known to travelers is Richard Reed.He has no killed anyone but succeeded in bringing our civilizationcenturies back. Known as the shoe bomber, he was responsible for

ki illi f l d h ld h i h d


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making millions of travelers around the world remove their shoes and

walk on dirty floors before entering a checkpoint. I will alwaysremember the expressions on the face of new travelers as theyre askedto remove their shoes. They think were kidding, but their smilesquickly turn to disgust.

So what is it about shoes that arouse TSAs interest? For the last halfcentury, shoes were only required to run through the X-ray machine ifthey have alarmed the metal detector. Today, all shoes have to gothrough the X-ray machine. Intelligence has shown that terrorists werecontemplating using shoe soles that are cut from real explosive sheetmaterial; even flip-flops are forbidden. The explosives would not bedetected by the walk-through metal detector, so the X-ray machineswere used.

I recently flew from Charles De Gaulle Airport in Paris. It was the sameairport the shoe bomber departed from when he flew to the US. To myamazement, I was not asked to remove my shoes. How could the

French authority decide to overlook this possible security breach?Everything about that checkpoint in Paris looked abnormal and

peaceful. As passengers reached the X-ray loading table, they weregreeted by an attractive female officer in a suit uniform. She lookedmore like a stewardess than a security officer. Passengers were askedto divest all metal objects and put their belongings inside the X-raytunnel. The machines were similar to ours except there were no moni-tors and no operators were visible.

After I crossed the metal detector and waited for my luggage, I won-dered why 20 feet back there were a bunch of what appeared to be banktellers. They had no customers but they were all staring at me. Thenone of them sitting behind the counter waved at me as I was leaving.Monsieur, SVP, he said. I was just about to say I wasnt interestedin opening an account, when he continued, Can I look at your bag? Itturns out that all X-ray monitors are under the counters, where all

baggage checks and explosive checks are done behind the counter.


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37- UN-HOLY WATERAnother product to be banned at checkpoints were liquids. Anotherbig blow to our civilization. Images from the city of Beirut of deadMuslim brothers, the result of Israels bombings, enraged a groupof young Pakistanis They decided to take revenge on the West by


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of young Pakistanis. They decided to take revenge on the West by

bringing down more planes. Explosives were to be made from acocktail of household products to be mixed once on board. The planwas defeated by intelligence services and the result was a total ban onall liquid or gel products above 3.4oz.

The inconvenience that these rules created to the traveling publicwas enormous. Children could not have their drinks. Expensivemake-up products trashed only because the women did not have aplastic bag to place them in, a $200 perfume bottle trashed becauseits one ounce over the maximum limit. I have never seen so manywomen cry as they totally rejected our logic. My own wife has fallenprey to this practice in spite of my repeated warnings. It was likewatching an episode from the Twilight Zone series. Passengers andofficers were left in a state of shock and our reputation suffered tothis day.

So what makes America more reactive than proactive in matters of

security? Why not take step by step measures, instead of an all ornothing approach. For instance, why not ask for all liquids to besent through the X-ray machine outside the carry-on, for a closervisual inspection. At the very least, allowing containers with originaltamper-proof seals.

DHS should know that terrorists will try something else. If a hamsandwich is discovered to have explosive sheet material instead ofcheese, are we going to stop all food products? Not to say that aham sandwich in the possession of a Muslim man should not raisesuspicion. So when does this hysteria end? Is it really about winningthe next election, getting that promotion or saving ones job? Maybethis is not about terrorism at all.

With billions of dollars worth of good products down the drain,maybe this is a government ploy to stimulate production. Maybe its just a disguised government bailout for companies such as General

Foods, Proctor and Gamble or Unilever Inc.


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38- DOUBLE STANDARDSSome passengers are becoming so used to losing their items that theyactually apologize for holding up the line. Officers have developed asense of humor to deal with passengers grief. Telling a passenger that


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p g g g p g

his Coke is not allowed, he should have bought Pepsi, or that water isnot allowed, however beer is ok, seems to always bring a smile to theirfaces. TSA has in fact developed a program called Engage. This programallows officers to chat with passengers. Officers are also advisedthat passengers are to be called customers, and therefore behave andact accordingly.

One day I was screening travelers standing in front of the line, askingthem to dispose of all their drinks. I was just handed a small bottle of

Gatorade when by chance a whole cart of Gatorade and other drinksshowed up in the adjacent lane, beverages for the food court. Thepassenger looked baffled. He asked, why are those bottles goingthrough the X-ray and not mine. Are theirs any safer than mine? Dontthey all come from the street side? I must admit that some of the rulesdo not make sense to officers or passengers.

Another paradox would be how airline crew members are allowed to

carry unlimited amounts of liquids. Liquids dont have to be removedfrom the carry-on of an airline pilot, or even tested. I guess TSA believesthe airline companies have done thorough background checks anddetermined that their employees are beyond reproach. But why does thesame crew have to remove their laptops and other electronics from thebags? Is it because the airline crew would not be interested in liquidcocktails to blow-up the plane, and may instead prefer to use a tamperedlaptop?

With this and other inconsistencies, were supposed to put on astaight face and convince passengers that its for their own good todispose of their make-up. If the argument is that terrorists hate ourway of life and want to disrupt us, then they succeeded.

In spite of all the criticism, one thing is sure with the TSA; theyultimately do the right thing. There is an employee program called theIdea Factory. This is a direct link to headquarters whereby employeescan voice their concerns and make suggestions. For passengers, TSAalso provides a list of trained psychologists!

39- EYES IN THE SKYJust when I thought I had seen it all, a passenger approaches me, huffingand puffing. He states that he had just realized that his laptop wasmissing and wants a claim form. I tell the passenger to show me whichof the 3 lane he had used. He then burst into anger and screamed at me,


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of the 3 lane he had used. He then burst into anger and screamed at me,

telling me he had no time to chit-chat. He demands my name, mysupervisors name and a claim form. It was clear to all officers that thepassenger was only out to get money from the TSA for an imaginarylaptop. This scenario happens all too often from passengers determinedto make money from the government.

There are also thefts at the checkpoint from passengers taking otherpassengers wallets or computers, sometimes by mistake, while the victimis waiting for a secondary screening. There is also theft perpetratedby officers on unsuspecting passengers, with cash, credit cards andjewelry disappearing from bags during X-ray scanning or bag checks.

Occasionally, innocent mistakes do happen. Several years ago, I wasinterrogated by a team of TSA inspectors because a passenger complainedthat I tried to steal his watch. After all, his watch was definitely in mypocket, well after I performed a hand-wand on him.

Now, I was forced to recall the events of several days earlier when the

incident happened. I had actually apologized to the passenger, and Ithought that was the end of the incident. It turns out that an incidentreport was filed by the supervisor and TSA agents were secretly monitor-ing my every move.

The story as I came to recollect, was that I had to perform a hand-wand on an angry passenger. As I picked-up his belongings to proceed toa back table, he forcefully reached into the bin I was carrying andgrabbed his watch. I immediately ordered him to give me the watch,

and instructed him to calm down and refrain from touching any of hisbelongings until hes been screened. As I walked to the table, with hiswatch and gloves in the palm of my hand, my cell phone suddenly rang.It was my wife.

My wife could only call me in the event of an emergency, and my sonsbrain surgery was only days old. In panic, I put the passenger watch andgloves in my pocket and grabbed my phone. After that I could imagine

how I forgot all about the watch.

40- STOP THE PRESSOne day I was bringing trays to the front of the checkpoint when I wasinterrupted by a passenger waiting for her bags. The lady pointed to themonitor on the adjacent lane clearly showing a hand gun. The picturestayed on the screen as the X-ray officer was reloading another bag. That


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stayed on the screen as the X ray officer was reloading another bag. That

man has a gun, she whispered , as not to start a shoot-out. Dont worryabout it, I said calmly. Thats just a test.

TSA regularly conducts tests on the X-ray operators by creatingprojections of simulated IEDs, weapons and other prohibited items. Its agood way to keep the X-ray operator constantly alert. An X-ray machineis driven by a sophisticated computer using intelligent software thatrecognizes prohibited items, such as components of an IED device andmany weapons. It regularly alerts the operator, just in case he has beensleeping at the wheel, or worse, distracted by beautiful women or a hand-some man.

Sometimes passengers would also witness the X-ray operator radio asupervisor. The line would suddenly come to a halt while anotherperson in civilian clothes walks around to join the X-ray operator. Theycalmly analyze the contents of a test bag containing prohibited items.

Even more alarming to passengers would be the sound of a blow horn. I

can never get used to that sound as it almost gives me a heart attack. Thecheckpoint, including all exit doors, is immediately shut down and allpassengers are instructed to stay still. Its always a scary moment as mostpeople, including most officers, do not know for sure if this is a drill testor a real threat.

Once in a while, however, some moron does actually carry a real gunthrough the checkpoint. Often it is the result of an accidental mishap ora last minute decision by the passenger to fly, totally forgetting aboutthe existance of a hand gun in their carry-on . The unlucky passenger isimmediately detained by law enforcement and taken away.

Passengers are always nervous as they put their belongings insidethe X-ray machine. They know that what goes in is now property of thegovernment, and what comes out is a good question. With the list ofprohibited items growing by the day, many women would smile at theX-ray operator, with a pleading look, as if asking for leniency or mercy.

The minute they say bag check, their heart drops.

41- MIND YOUR TERRITORYTo most travelers, having to put your coat, jacket, baby blanketor other personal items into bins that others use for dirtyshoes and dirty bags seems disgusting and unsanitary. TSAonce experimented with an X-ray machine that does not require


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any bins or bowls. The conveyor belt contains fixed sectionsthat a passenger uses to place his or her belongings. The con-veyor belt then folds underneath the table and returns to thefront of the X-ray machine for another load. For whateverreason, the idea must not have worked since TSA dropped theproject.

Another drawback to the present arrangement is the constantback and forth of officers replacing empty bin carts. The cartscreate a hazard to the safety of children and disrupt passengersstanding in line. The procedure simply looks archaic andunprofessional. It also creates unnecessary confusion and is asecurity hazard. A passenger can easily place a gun under thecart and retrieve it when an officer moves the cart inside thecheckpoint.

Years ago, I suggested to TSA a system were carts have to stay

inside the checkpoint at all times. Reloading of bins would bedone through a spinning carousel platform to refresh new binstacks for passengers. Such a design would keep all officersinside the checkpoint, allowing Behavior Detection Officers(BDOs) to exclusively handle the public areas.

While the BDOs are getting to be very knowledgeable in theart of visually screening passengers, they do miss importantopportunities to collect additional clues about travelers. Havingthem take over the entire area preced

Documents

Screeners and Virgins 2