Sage Advises Shivna 22.11.05 - 36kb

8/22/2019 Sage Advises Shivna 22.11.05 - 36kb

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Jedi_Master_Sage is in the next section applyingaccupuncture to a patient who is allergic to pain-blockers(SW term for anaesthetic)

Shivna wonders what to do to go about seeing Samial,

sends a general comm message to the council whichwould end up sending a txt message to sage Jedi_Master_Sage hears his comm beep which echoes

quite loudly in the small space, it can be heard inShivna's cubicle

Shivna : lol)) Shivna raises a brow hearing a comm beep, wonders if it's

for one of the doctors Jedi_Master_Sage finishes applying the last of the pins

"you'll need to rest there for a good ten minutes, the

pressure points have been set in place to focus bloodflow and keep the pain at bay until your medicationfinishes its course, a nurse will remove the pins" >

Jedi_Master_Sage he says, not knowing Shivna is so close.he steps out, closing the curtain behind him and looks tohis commlink

Shivna lays back, her knee having been set so it can't bemoved, she closed her eyes, maybe shalee was right,maybe she did have a right to see her son, but she was

still not fully confident the council would see it as such Jedi_Master_Sage "Shivna?" he says aloud, being outside

her very curtain Shivna jumps slightly and reaches out to pull the curtain

back slightly blinks "wow.....that was fast.........." Jedi_Master_Sage looks to Shivna oddly "The force works

in mysterious ways. And I was giving accupuncture in thenext booth"

Shivna blushes slightly and nods "i see....I wanted to speakwith you......About Samial"

Shivna : he just recently turned five I know Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes, he's doing very well, what did you

want to talk about, regarding Samial? Shivna furrows her brow slightly , she had the chance to

ask anything, and there was so much she wanted to ask"Have you seen him?....How is he?.....Does he really look


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like his father?.....Where is he with his training?" Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes, he's fine, not really, he actually

looks more like you used to but his ears seem human. I'mnot conducting his training but I hear he has shown good

potential Shivna gets a sad look in her eyes even if there was asmall smile on her face "I haven't seen him since he wasa month old....." turns her eyes down for a long momentas she spoke again "I want to ask something...But I knowthe council would never allow it"

Jedi_Master_Sage : What do you wish to ask and why doyou think we won't allow it?

Jedi_Master_Sage : I can have a photo sent to you. Shivna shakes her head "I want more than just a photo

master sage......I want to see my son.......Beofre heforgets me"

Shivna : I haven't seen him in so long Jedi_Master_Sage : Didn't you sign a document of custody,

granting the order guardianship over Samial? Shivna frowns "I did.....But back then I had little choice I

couldn't care for him the way I know he needed....Youremember how i was.....I know Dragon wanted him to bea jedi......"

Shivna : but I'm starting to regret giving him away Jedi_Master_Sage :You would not be considered normal ifat some point, you didn't. But would you have regretted notgiving him away? Consider all you have been through. Youdon't even look the same.

Shivna nods "I even hate that......atleast the tattoos andthe other things are gone....but the other things......alittle harder to undo"

Shivna : yu really think the council would not grantpermission for him to stay with me here?

Jedi_Master_Sage :Your alternative was death. You weredying.

Shivna : I know Shivna : is it really that important to his training that he be

completely oblivious to my existance, that he never seeme


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Jedi_Master_Sage : The council does not actually directlygovern the custody of initiates. The praxeum has its ownstaff that handles that section. The real question is are youready to see him?

8Liam has left the conversation. Shivna remains quiet at that , it would be hard, he was apart of her, but also a part of Dragon, was she ready toface that? "I don't know.......He doesn't rememberme.....does he?"

Jedi_Master_Sage : I don't know. Most children canremember their mother even if separated from infancy. But ifhe is to grow into the path of a jedi from so early an age, hisemotional attachments must not tear him apart.

Shivna nods slowly "I understand..........I am no jedi master

Sage......But the man I loved was one....and he had adream for his son, and I wouldn't want to be the one todestroy that dream....an yet...he left me here to do thisalone."

Shivna : Samial is all the family I know is still aliveanymore

Jedi_Master_Sage : What is your dream? Shivna : I want my son, I want to raise him myself Shivna : and I know if I did that...he would not be a jedi

Jedi_Master_Sage : It is possible for one to be taught as ajedi at a later age, but even so, now is a critical time. If heremains where he is, he will eventually need to be solidwithin his training. If you take him now, he must stay withyou until he is old enough to >

Jedi_Master_Sage : decide for himself. Do you feel ready todo this?

Shivna : I do not know Jedi_Master_Sage : Then maybe thats the question you

should be seeking

Shivna : I want to say yes....and yet....this is Dragon's sonalso, i know there are expectations of Samial simplybecause of who his father was.....Would I be dishonoringis memory by raising my son by my own means

Shivna : I do not fully what he would have wished me to doright now


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Jedi_Master_Sage : Dragon's wishes are not known toanyone. He left no record or will and his spirit has neverappeared to anyone, if he was going to, he would havealready. You must consider both your needs and those ofSamial. No one really thinks of who his father is.

Shivna nods slowly "I admitt....I feelt a great deal ofresentment he left nothing behind for either of us...nowill.....nothing"

Shivna : he left us with no word, nothing...it was a longtime before I was even informed he had died.....How dowe even know he is dead for sure?....I admitt thesethoughts still plague me from time to time

Jedi_Master_Sage sighs "I never wanted to speak to you ofthis but it might well be time I did"

Shivna : I wondered for a long time...if maybe settlingdown had been too much for him, and he had gone backto his old ways, and that he may have been with otherson the other side of the galaxy and staged his owndeath......he never said goodbye

Shivna : tell me what? Jedi_Master_Sage : I had sensed a growing.. unhappiness

within Dragon. But not that he was unhappy with you, buthimself. I thought nothing of it at first, even jedi must deal

with negative emotions, but I now suspect that he neverresolved these feelings and in time, was >

Jedi_Master_Sage : consumed by them. Jedi_Master_Sage : Its always the strongest who fall

hardest and even the greatest of men can descend fromgrace.

Shivna frowns and her eyes grow sad "What are you tryingto tell me?"

Shivna : No one ever told me how he had died, did anyoneever know.....and how is it I never even knew any of this?

Jedi_Master_Sage : Thats because you told us of his death.You never elaborated on details.. don't you remember?

Shivna : I did not know he had died until a councilor hadinformed me

Jedi_Master_Sage : Which one? Shivna : all i had known before then was that he was


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missing without a word, i had no idea where he had goneor why

Shivna :Jyoun I believe it was Shivna : he was the one to have given me the news that

Dragon was dead, but he had nothing but Dragons'ssaber, I never saw a body, nor was i told how he died Jedi_Master_Sage : Where did he get the saber? Shivna : I do not know....even now I do not know Shivna : that is why I believed he might have "faked" his

death and gone elsewhere Jedi_Master_Sage : Are you sure? You did suffer a degree

of memory loss during your illness and recovery. And evenwhen he did once disappear, thought dead, he never let hissaber leave his side.

Jedi_Master_Sage : The only one could have taken hisblade would be if they took it

Shivna : I know that, but these memories were so vivid andpowerful to me, they were the first to return

Jedi_Master_Sage : That is no simple feat. Shivna : I had journals, they helped too Shivna : or he had given it Shivna : don't you find it ironic he would leave so

carelessly and before his oly child had reached a month

in age.....he left nothing behind Shivna : you would leave some sort of resources or supportin case they didn't come back

Jedi_Master_Sage : Shivna, Dragon was without hislightsaber, only if he had been killed could it be pryed fromhis presence, I doubt he expected to die, but it may be thathe lost the will to persevere, that he was defeated

Shivna sits up straighter "Then why did he not leaveanything behind for his wife and child?.....He hadresources I know he did, but afterhe had died thy went toother things instead of to me"

Shivna : or to samial Shivna : it was a very hard time, I had no job or source of

income ...he knew that Jedi_Master_Sage : As I said, I do not believe he expected

this, maybe he simply did not consider it


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Shivna it was quit obvious she was still angry about allthis, there was a efinate theme that she had and still didfeel abandoned

Jedi_Master_Sage : Shivna, you know you had friends who

would have supported you. What drove you to suchdesparation that at one point, you even walked the sithpath?

Shivna speaks in a very bitter tone "Because he left mewithout any word, and I did not know what hadhappened, I had nothing and had to give my sonaway.....He did not care what could have happened to usshould he not make it back"

Jedi_Master_Sage : Did you? What else happened? It wouldhave taken much more to drive even you so far, that you

could not have asked a number of people for help Shivna sighs deeply and looks about "Because he had left

me............And that is all that I could see at that time" Shivna : even now, five years later, I do not know what

really happened Jedi_Master_Sage : Are you sure? Is it possible that there

are parts you are blocking out without realising? Shivna shakes her head no "No....I had believed without a

doubt he was happy, that he had what he had always

wanted....and then out of nowhere he was gone" Jedi_Master_Sage : Look deeper Shivna, you did not onlyhave a son, you had a daughter.

Shivna : I know.....and she is dead too Shivna : Kaliban told me....and I read my journals Jedi_Master_Sage : But you never once mentioned her and

Dragon at the same time. Only Dragon and Samial. Shivna : a dark jedi killed her to try and get to me Shivna stayssilent for a long moment "her means of

coming into existance weren't exactly the happiest...sheresented me until the day she died....and I'm not surewhat I feel or think about her father"

Jedi_Master_Sage : Are you sure she is dead? Her bodywas never recovered

Shivna : she took Dragon's death every bit as hard as I did,and that should have brought us together instead she


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moved away even further Shivna : I watched her die Jedi_Master_Sage : Alright, but before then, how did she

get along with Dragon?

Shivna : it was rought at first, but he had reached out toher and she had seen him as more a parent than she didwith me

Jedi_Master_Sage : Go further.. did they ever argue? Shivna : at first yes....but afterwards it was friendly debate

at worst Shivna : it was the one time in her life she seemed to be

happy, was when he was around Jedi_Master_Sage : I'm missing something.. Shivna : then what?

Jedi_Master_Sage : The closer Ayasha and Dragonbecame.. did you and Dragon drift apart?

Shivna : a bit yes Shivna : we didn't spend so much time alone after that Jedi_Master_Sage : And then things changed.. you didn't

know how to refind where you were Shivna : there was no ill, or resentment that i could see, I

know I feelt none, it's just things changed, they had to Shivna : it wasn't just him and I anymore, you expect

things to change when it becomes a family Jedi_Master_Sage : Only it didn't form so seamlessly,

things began to tear.. somewhere inside.. Dragon felt that itwas supposed to

Shivna : but how? and in what way?......how else could hehave wanted it?

Shivna : everyone was happy....or so it seemed that way8rth_Thor has joined the conversation.

Shivna : thorn)) Jedi_Master_Sage : [thorn] Jedi_Master_Sage :You're not sure.. there were .. unseen

elements. You were aware of them but never fully. It was likea slow acting poison and before you could have realised it..it was too late.

rth_Thor : (Shiv, Sage ) Shivna : you think he resented Ayasha?


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Shivna : or even Samial? Jedi_Master_Sage :You don't think he consciously did.. Shivna : he always seemed very enthusasic about them

both

Jedi_Master_Sage blinks "sorry, I've been gleaning fromyour own thoughts, normally I filter out such telepathicimpulses but your mind is like a billboard right now,everything I've been saying for the last few minutes hasbeen influenced by you at the sub concious level

Shivna : but you truely think deep down, subconciously hehadn't wanted that

Shivna : all these years...all i have wanted to know...is"why"

Jedi_Master_Sage : Shivna, I can only tell you what your

memory already is aware of, I can't give you new information Shivna sighs and nods slowly Shivna : and now I must decide what to do about Samial Shivna : as you can see....there are still some great hurts

and resentments there Jedi_Master_Sage : Shivna, the unseen elements that you

felt.. you never sensed their departure until after Ayasha leftyou.

Shivna : what do you mean?

Jedi_Master_Sage : Normally at this point, I'd suggestregression therapy, but its ill advised given your emotionalfocus. What I am gleaning from you, is that there was somesense of a .. a shadow that seemed to haunt your marriage,your family

Shivna : I was frozen in carbonite master sage...I lostyears.....everyone had moved on, those who hadn't haddied

Shivna : half of me wishes I had been left there....thateveryone could have remembered the shivna theyloved...even if she was not me

Shivna : some recieved me in such ill nature....I wantednothing more than to go back to that lucid existance

Jedi_Master_Sage : I knew both.. Jedi_Master_Sage : Shivna, if there really was something

working covertly against your family, its possible Dragon's


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apparent unhappiness was not of his own making.. Shivna nods slowly and lays fully back against the pillows

again "So you think someone may have been trying todrive him to unhappiness?"

Jedi_Master_Sage : I'm at a loss as to why, unless it was anenemy Dragon had neglected to mention. Shivna : more plots eh? Jedi_Master_Sage : Its not exactly the most potent attack

against a jedi. Shivna : love brings far too much baggae.....it is one of the

reasons I broke things of with kaliban Jedi_Master_Sage : .. but in this case, it does seem the

most insidious. As if planned from years. But the attacks didnot stop there. Ayasha's murder, your fall to the darkside,

your illness.. logic suggests that the target may not havebeen Dragon.. but you.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Similar trials were endured by ShivnaAzzameen, she too lost her child and husband until she wasfinally murdered, brought back from death and killed yetagain in the most brutal way.

Jedi_Master_Sage : .. you watched Ayasha die.. its as if youwere intended to see it.

Shivna : seems someone does not wish me to exist any

form Jedi_Master_Sage : I doubt any single being could despiseyou so much, more like a group. It is true that the peoplewho brought back Shivna Azzameen had meant to bringback her other sister, her twin actually, but somehow theblood was swapped, by mistake or intent, no one

Jedi_Master_Sage : knows Shivna : I certainly don't Shivna : all I want is peace Jedi_Master_Sage : It would be easier to capture you and

have you tortured.. there may be more at work than you..perhaps it is not about you, but you do hold a key placewithin this suspected scheme8You have been marked as being away.

Jedi_Master_Sage : [my total bad >.


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contimplate at the moment...I simply wish to have thepeace and happiness i have always fought for...I knowkaliban is likely to never speak to me again....but then itmay be fate anyways"

Jedi_Master_Sage : What happened? Shivna : total bad what?))rth_Thor : (Thats a good thing Sage )

Shivna : I broke things off with him Jedi_Master_Sage : forgot my cup this whole time] Jedi_Master_Sage : I think I understand, but have you

considered that he could bring you support at this time? Shivna : I feelt guilty.....part of me still belongs to

others.....I feelt like I was betraying that Jedi_Master_Sage : Kerrigan and Dragon?

Shivna : I didn't wish to hurt him...but he reminds me oftimes I wish to forget....and I'm still not fully overDragon.....and things are akaward now that kerrigan'sclone is back...well......when he's here

Shivna : yes Shivna : and then there was Soren........ Shivna :just far too much hurt to even want to attempt it

all again Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes I understand.. Soren?

Shivna flushes "I got a little too close tohim..emotionally....just on my side ...after I turned backfrom the darkside....he never returned the feelingsthough"

Shivna : it wasn't anything as strong as the other twothough

Jedi_Master_Sage :You have a talent for being attracted tounique men.. at inopportune times

Shivna : believe me don't i know it Shivna : my IRL counterpart has an issue with that too )) Jedi_Master_Sage : [likewise, its like.. for every girl Sage

attracts, I become attracted to an RL girl who doesn't feel thesame]

Shivna : don't ya hate it?)) Shivna : and dear mother of god it's 3am >.


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Jedi_Master_Sage : it doesn't show] Jedi_Master_Sage :You have alot to think about. Shivna : I finally forced myself out my vampire ways and

had a day schedu;e, so been going to bed at like 10 and

11pm...so this is heaps late for me)) Shivna : I do yes Shivna : and i do not know what i will do if i see kerrigan's

clone again......You have no idea how akaward it is Shivna : you have any idea how angry kaliban would be if

he knew all this? Jedi_Master_Sage : They are brothers.. I can only imagine it

would make it worse Shivna : I know.....they can never find out master

sage.....never

Shivna : gods that would be so jerry springer >.< )) Jedi_Master_Sage : I'm sure they already know that you

have been with either one.. Shivna : today on jerry springer!!!...half brothers with a

crazy mom and a dark past....and the woman they bothlove!!!))

Shivna : no they can't possibly have known that Shivna : I'm sorry I'm so snickering over here because I'm

so hearing dueling banjos at the moment while we're

discussing this....lmao)) Jedi_Master_Sage : Actually you're right, Kerrigan is a

clone so he probably doesn't yet know of Ayasha or thefeelings his genetic donor held.

Shivna : let's hope he doesn't find out Shivna : I'm so seeing kerrigan wearing a straw hat

carrying a rifle while chasing after kaliban who's wearinga pair of dirty overalls with no shirtunderneath...oie....lol))

Jedi_Master_Sage : >.


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the patients was playing a familiar banjo tune ratherloudly shiv cleared her throat and called out "hey could

you practice that later?....thanks" Jedi_Master_Sage : That was odd..

Shivna : yeah I know....thought they didn't allow those inhere Shivna : cmon admittit that made you laugh IRL )) Shivna : ............Theed needs a trailer park now!!!! )) Jedi_Master_Sage : woo] Shivna : right cattycorner to the palace ...mel will love

it....NOT....lol)) Shivna : a nasty, falling apart one too, with all the

multitude of speed bumps, cheap plastic lawnordaments....fridges in the law....speeders half torn apart

and on blocks)) Jedi_Master_Sage : lmao[ Shivna : beer cans everywhere)) Jedi_Master_Sage : What is Kaliban? My force senses can

never detect anything from him Shivna : old women in their 40s with saggy boobs wearin

tube tops and cut off shorts, who sound like they beensmoking waaaaaaaaaaaay too long when they talk andsounds like they're gonna toss a lung when they cough))

Jedi_Master_Sage : sounds like familiar ground]] Jedi_Master_Sage : to you i mean] Shivna : dude you have no d idea likeall the nice areas

were surrounded by nasty trailer parks))) Shivna : and they were friggin tornado MAGNETS)) Shivna : trailer parks = tornado food)) Jedi_Master_Sage : [glad i dont live in a trailer, tho i did

once live in a caravan that was parked in the back yard of ahouse]

Shivna : since I moved here...I swear....I've not run into asingle trailer park yet.....I know they're here....justhaven't seen one yet))

Shivna : oh you gotta be kidding me )) Shivna : like with camels and all?)) Jedi_Master_Sage : [no, with a grass lawn] Shivna : but u lived in a backyard....were there tents?))


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Jedi_Master_Sage : [no, they actually bought it for me so icould stay with them. they sold it when i moved out]

Shivna : lmao the hell....that's funny))rth_Thor (Sleeps)

Shivna : were theygypsies or something?....omg thegypsies were creepy back where I lived )) Jedi_Master_Sage : no, when i first moved out of home, i

moved into a church. I lived in the basement, when theymoved, i went with them]

Shivna : so YOU were a gypsy then?)) Jedi_Master_Sage : [I was a boarder] Shivna : aka gypsy )) Jedi_Master_Sage : [gypsies tell fortunes, I just pray over

people and occasionally speak prophecies]

Shivna : no here gypsies are the people who move fromplace to place really often, and have plastic over theirfurniture and will try to sell you weird stuff for too much))

Shivna : I've known plenty of gypsies who don't haveanything to do with fortune telling, that's irrelevant))

Jedi_Master_Sage : ah ok, well i only sell donuts] Shivna : ok it's 3:30am .....sleep is beckoning and she's

wearin a black see through nightie )) Jedi_Master_Sage : who?]

Shivna : lemme go to bed and then I'll tell ya )) Shivna : because I'm sleeeeeeeepy and i don't wanna

sleep until 2pm)) Shivna : because then i got two hours of sunlight to work

with and that bites)) Jedi_Master_Sage : ok] Shivna : nini ty for RP )) Jedi_Master_Sage : np]

8Shivna has left the conversation.

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Sage Advises Shivna 22.11.05 - 36kb