S. M. A. Library

THE KABLEGRAM Vol. 54 Si aunton, Military Academy, Kable Station, Staunton, Virginia, Monday, May 10, 1971 No. 8

Howie Rifles Perform On April 23, and 24. the Howie Rifles Team Alpha took

part in the National Drill Meet at Ft. Meyer, Va. This year Team Alpha is under the command of LTC. Clifford Wong.

Team Alpha is a trick drill team, with soloists Ray Oden, Tom Carlson, Charlie Dickson, Gleb Moysaenko, and Leo Moy- saenko. This year Team Alpha has a new uniform which has enhanced the appearance of the team greatly. This year the Howies did not place, but in their minds they had won. The other members of the team are: Guidon Bearer, Timothy Ringgold; team members: Dave Blank, John Taylor, Mike Langley, Spencer Harris, Mike Allen, Francis Wullenwaber, Kick Rushton, Max Goe, Randy McConnell, Chris Hanson, Scott Milgram, Richard Pauly, and Jeff Grissinger.

Rifle Team and MT-4's Fire At VMI On April 16, 1971 the rifle team

along- with MT-4's fired M-14's at VMI's Rifle Range. This was the first time that any group was able to fire the M-14. The advisors who also took the trip were LTC Rich- ters, MSG Gibson, and SFC De- mory.

Each cadet fired 32 to 40 rounds of ammo at targets. A few cadets

fired the M-14 automatic, the M-16 and the M-60 machine gun. This field trip was one of the few field trips that MT-4's will take. The next one will be a maneuver at the Berry Farm. Most of the cadets wlio went, enjoyed this method of training, and the Military Depart- ment will try to have more classes of this nature in the future for all MT's.

Pass In Review David F. Blank hails from West-

field, New Jersey and came to S.M.A. four years ago as a fresh- man private in Alpha Company. Since then he has come a long way. His sophomore year was spent as a Squad leader in "A" Company where he attained the rank of Staff

Sergeant. He began his junior year

as a Sergeant First Class on the

First Battalion Staff and was later

transferred to "C" Company as a

platoon sergeant. He is now a

First Lieutenant and platoon leader in Alpha Company.

In his four years here Dave has received the Headmaster's, Com- mandant's, and Military ribbons, and S-80 pins. He has also received Varsity Letters for the Rifle Team and numerous medals for his out- standing marksmanship. He is a member of the Alexander M. Patch Honor Society and the Howie Rifles Team Alpha.

Dave will be attending Pennsyl- vania State University next fall.

David F. Blank

Cadet LTC Wong receives 2nd place trophy in Trick Drill at VMSL. "A" Team's Tunnel

Cadet Capt. Huntle, received 2nd place trophy for basic drill at VMSL.

"A" Team Gets

New Uniforms

The Team "Alpha" of the Howie

Rifles have bought new uniforms.

The uniform is a white coat with

a full collar, much like the Navy's

dress whites, and also has gold

buttons. The Howies first wore

this uniform at the VMSL Drill

Meet the early part of this month.

Each cadet bought his own but

the school has since reimbursed

the cost to those cadets not wish-

ing to keep them after they have

graduated.

No Ties!

The Headmaster requested that

cadets need not wear ties to class.

The Headmaster decided since the

summer uniforms are less ties, that the cadets could go with-out ties. This was submitted to Col. Rich- ters, which he approved and the uniform Foxtrot is now being worn in lieu of Alpha.

"B" Team Performs

Government

Inspection

On April 22, 1971 Staunton Mili- tary Academy held its Annual Fed- eral Inspection, betcr known as GI. The inspection consisted of an Army inspection team from First Army and two Marine finest in- spectors. Heading the Inspection team was Col. French, the PMS and Commandant at VMI, who in- spected companies in both ranks and rooms.

The inspection is made to de- termine the school's rating as an Honor Military School. The Star on the sleeve of the "C" coat show's that the school is an Honor School and that it has passed the inspection with flying colors. All the military schools in the Valley were inspected this year.

Col. Harry \V. French is the Professor of Military Science and Commandant at VMI. His decora- tions include the Silver Star with two Oak Leaf Clusters, the Army Commendation Medal with two Oak Leaf Clusters and the Com- bat Infantryman's Badge.

Col. French said that SMA was one of the finest military academies in the area.

Former Teacher

Dies

Col. Wilfred Webb

Col. Wilfred Bostick Webb, of Fort Defiance, Virginia, died April 26, 1971 in King's Daughters' Hos- pital in Staunton. He was 70 years old.

Col. Webb taught at SMA from 1942 until 1969. For ten years, he was the head of the English De- partment. Many of his activities in- cluded the advisor to the Cotillion Club for many years, and he was the Director for the Staunton Mili- tary Academv Summer School.

PASS IN REVIEW

Nicholas P. Brown came to S.M.A. 4 years ago as a fresh- man in Delta Company. He re- turned to "D" Company as a Staff Sergeant squad leader his sopho- more year. Nick's Junior year was spent in two different posi- tions. He began the year as a pla- toon sergeant in "D" Company and finished it as a platoon leader with the rank of master sergeant. Nick is currently a First Lieuten- ant and second platoon leader oi Bravo Company.

During his stay, Nick has re- ceived the Commandant's, Merit, and Military ribbons along with an S-SO pin. He has also received letters in Varsity and Junior \ ar- sitv Football and Intramural medals for football, swimming and softball. He is a member of the Alexander M. Patch Honor Society and the Latin Club.

Nick hails from Little Falls. New Jersey and will be attending Idaho State University next vear.

Nicholas P. Brown

Page 2 THE KABLEGRAM

THE KABLEGRAM

STAFF Donald A. Deutsch, Jr Editor in Chief Leo Moysaenko Managing Editor Ray L. Oden News Editor Robert E. Thomas Feature Editor G. Edward Shehee Sports Editor Captain C. Douglas Neilson, Jr Faculty Advisor

NEWS Barnes, R.; Bowden, S.; Little, R.; Pauly, R.; Redmon, M.; Weitzel, J.

FEATURES Amaro, J.; Blackburn, R.; Deck, C; Duke, D.; Hurst, W. ; Minot, M.; Norton, L.; Strohmayer, S.

SPORTS Brown, J.; Jones, C.; Mihalek, T.; Beveridge, M.; Lanza, M.

CIRCULATION Canoy, N.; Neese, G.; Yetman, S.

TYPING Allen, K.; Crane, S.; Harris, B.; Milgram, S.; Ringgold, T.; Mlynko, W.

TRUTH

The Sfaunton Military Academy Cadet Newspaper. Published tri-weekly during the school year, beginning in October, vacations excluded.

Subscription price, S3.50 per year, in advance. Advertising rates upon application. Entered as second-class matter October 18, 1924, at the post office, Staunton, Virginia, under

the Act of March 3, 1879.

McCLURE PTG.Ca.jNC.VERDNA.VA.

Kablegram Poll The following poll is being made by the Kablegram Staff

to determine the good and bad points of this year's paper. Please rate each category and turn in to the library return box no later than May 20, 1971.

OPINION

(check appropriate box) excellent good fair poor

1. News Coverage 2. Features 3. Sports 4. Photography 5. PassTn-Review 6. Ed Scholberger 7. Rogue's Gallery 8. Editorials 9. Notes from the stars

10. SMA 50 years ago 11. Kablegram Kutie 12. Top 10 hits 13. Lost and Found

What did you enjoy most about this year's paper?

What did the paper lack most?

If an underclassman, would you be interested in joining the staff next year?

Overall, I would rate the paper as (underline: excellent, good, fair, poor).

The purpose of this article is to bring out some of the latest news floating around campus at this present time. This news is not exactly the type of news appearing in every Kablegram. Instead it con- cerns the newest rumors floating around, and being passed on by the cadets themselves. Now let me introduce the latest rumors:

SMA will go co-ed next year.

During the summer, a roof will be added to South Barracks.

Major Wease is not coming back to SMA next year.

Hair next year will be three inches.

An epidemic will soon occur which will move graduation up another week.

John Dickey will be next year's Brigade Commander.

Captain Barclay will teach Phy- sics next year.

These are the absolute latest rumors on campus. Trade 'em, sell 'em to your friends, give 'em away, but by all means forget them. o

Kablegram

50 Years Ago NOTABLE GENERALS

VISIT ACADEMY

Major-Generals Snow, Farnsworth, and Bailey Honor School with visits

KABLEGRAM KUTIE

Major General C. E. Snow, Chief of Artillery of the United States Army, was passing through Staun- ton with his aide, Major Potter. He was inspecting the R.O.T.C. artillery units of this state, but expressed a desire to review our infantry unit, and remained over several hours to do so. A review was held in his honor, and the General was both surprised and delighted with the work of the battalion.

Major General C. S. Farns- worth, Chief of Infantry, also in- spected the corps on a later date. General Farnsworth inspected the battalion and the.grounds, and ex- pressd himself as being "highly pleased with the work being done not only because of its individual benefit in education, but also of the national service that the institution is performing."

The commanding officer of the 3rd Corps area, Major-General C. J. Bailey, inspected the same week. These repeated visits by these com- manding officers show with what regard the school is considered bv the War Office.

—taken from a May, 1921 Kablegram issue

o

"You know, Major Wease, you can be replaced. My Govern- ment course only covers 12 lessons."

Top 10

Records 1) Joy to the World—Three Dog

Night

2) 18—Alice Cooper

3) The Wizard—Black Sabbath

4) Country Road—Grand Funk Railroad

5) Theme from "Love Story"— Andy Williams

Sarge shows how it's done

6) Free—Chicago

7) What's Going Gaye

On?—Marvin

'Who stole my jeep?"

8) Straight Ahead—Jimi Hendrix

9) She's A Lady—Tom Jones

10) Comfort Me — Grand Funk Railroad

PASS 'I'll get 'em"

MISS JAMIE AGETT

Age 18

Stuart Hall

Steady of

John Jensen

IN REVIEW

John M. Brown entered S.M.A. as a sophomore in Foxtrot Com- pany. He returned his junior year as a Squad Leader with the rank of Staff Sergeant in "F" Company. His senior year is a little bit dif- ferent. He finally got away from "The Sarge" and is now a platoon leader in Charlie Company holding the rank of First Lieutenant.

During his short stay here, John has received the Commandant's, Merit, Military ribbons, and a S-80 pin. He has also been a mem- ber of the Howie Rifles, both "A" and "B" teams, and the Alexander M. Patch Honor Society.

John comes from Fort Lauder- dale, Florida, and will be moving on down to Oglethorpe College, where he has been accepted, next fall. Good luck John!

Top 5

Albums 1) Jesus Christ, Superstar—Va-

rious Artists

2) Survival—Grand Funk Rail- road

3) One Way or Another—Cactus

4) Pearl—Janis Joplin

5) Cry of Love—Jimi Hendrix

"Box 6219-Civies, Box 6144-Care Package, Box 6283- a mail order maid?!!"

THE KABLEGRAM

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Professor I Ed Scholberger I Semi - Retired

It must feel good to be a Senior in the month of May knowing that you will have only a month left to enjoy the warm sunshine, cool breezes, green vegetation and a few more government classes. On the other hand, if you should be one of the few people that have been invited to take Major Wease's summer crash course (180 Lessons in 6 weeks), do not feel so low. After all, when you emerge from that course you could very well be promoted to that glorious position— the Mayor of Staunton.

Before I get carried away with all this beautiful weather and graduation, let me first say a few words about the news.

Cadet George Lognut set a new school record yesterday when he finished his forty-five pound care package in only three hours. Sources said today in a special conference that 10% was eaten by George, 15% by his roommate, 25% by his friends, 40% by officers and NCO's, and 10% by the Barracks Duty Officer that night. Congratulations George!

The Annual Government Inspection, which everyone is sure to remember, occurred two weeks ago and the day before it occurred 257 cadets were admitted to the infirmary with what is to be believed as a strange new skin disease. In case anyone is still wondering, the infirmary still has a large selec- tion of Turpentine as well other paint removers.

The Kablegram, due to it's last publication, even made the news this week. Many cadets were disappointed in the last issue due to the excess of Alumni News. On the other extreme, many alumni were disappointed due to the excess of cadet news.

On the academic scene, it has been reported that Captain Barclay hasn't been giving enough daily quizzies and while we're on the subject, I'd like to say a few words about the commander. To me it seems rather unusual for a person to teach English Lit with a southern accent. Nevertheless I must congratulate him on the fine job he is doing and especial- ly supplying me with some of his most famous sayings. At times I often wonder how he ever survives the horde of yankee radicals set out to destroy the southern culture and drink her comfort. So in this issue I'd like to salute Captain John Barclay and his next year English four students—the Class of 72. A few of the members of this class are Dave Marshall, Rich Pauly, John Taylor, Mike Langley, Marty Morehouse, and the military genius Max Goe. I have men- tioned only a few students in the now present goonier class and most of them will be next year's officers. I don't really think that I should just speak of next year's officers, when I really should include their counterparts which are Smutch Hutchison, Morgan Bearden, Wayne Anderson, and of course Golt.

This column in this issue of the Kablegram has been brought to you by the SMA Dry Cleaning Shack where they specialize in cleaning wall-to-wall illegal carpeting as well as straights, coats, ties, and hats. So next time you're watching some Stuart Hall girl and accidently trip and find yourself amidst a pool of muddy water remember that the SMA Dry Cleaning Shack wants your clothes, where their Motto is "No Tickey, No Washey.

This has been your host ... Ed Scholberger ... for news in the making . . . Have a good day.

"AND THEN CHICKEN LITTLE SAID .

Page 3

LOST

AND

FOUND FOUND.... One scrap of paper,

owner claim same from SAI's office.

LOST .... One lemon, finder please return same to Classroom #2.

FOUND .... The second hand of the Clock on North Barracks, owner claim same in the Ser- geant of the Guard's office.

LOST.... One tie, finder please return same to room 821.

FOUND.... The 26th Amend- ment. Would Major Wease please pick up same in the House of Representatives?

FOUND.... One bottle of Cadet, owner claim same from Col. Deutsch.

LOST .... Senior Charge Accounts.

FOUND .... Warm weather and Sunny days. o

NOTES FROM THE STARS

Less than 85 Government lessons will be completed in Major Wease's Government course.

Stumpy's Golf team will beat Hack's Golf team.

All Senior Last Wills and Testa- ments are due Monday, May 10th and will be printed in the next Kablegram.

Captain Barclay will be having the Crunchies again.

Only 23 more days until Gradu- ation.

The Senior Slump will become increasingly larg.r as the yea- diminishes.

Cliff Wong will soon be adding Cadet bottles to his collection.

Government notes are not biode gradable.

Only one more Kablegram. o

D I D YOU KNOW?

— that at one time there used to be a North, South, East, and West Barracks?

— that in 1921 the Corps was one battalion, A, B, C, and Machine Gun Company?

— that former SMA Professor of Military Science Alexander M. Patch commanded the U. S. 7th Army in World War II?

— that this year's commencement speaker, alumnus Barry Gold- water, Ir., was awarded at his graduation the highest award SMA gave at that time, the Kable Legion of Honor? o

Graduation Countdown

SENIORS: 20 Days

JUNIORS: 390 Days

SOPHOMORES: 754 Days

FRESHMEN: 1,118 Days

8th GRADERS: 1,482 Days

7th GRADERS: Forget it!

The Adventures Of Zammo

Huckelberry Once upon a time, in lower Barclay country, there lived

a somewhat odd, but interesting fellow—Zammo Huckelberry. Everyone knew Zammo as the nephew of Floyd Huckelberry, an ex-carpet (bagger) salesman from the north and now proud owner of a large and extravagant cotton plantation in the deep south.

Since Zammo wasn't doing too well in his small one room schoolhouse located on the other side of the alligator pits, his uncle decided for him to move to a school located in a less dangerous community to achieve a better education. The school he decided on was located up north in the Shenandoah Valley, where no alligators were held known to be. Upon entering his new school, Zammo found it somewhat different than his old home stomping grounds, but as he shall soon see, will be quite similar. Upon being issued his rifle, Zammo realized that this weapon would bring him his daily rations, and after a few days he had cleared every squirrel on campus as well as a few of the school faculty.

Zamma soon adjusted to what he thought as normal cadet life; washing his clothes in the Gypsy Hill duck pond and cleaning his rifle with his roommates' hair tonic.

Zammo was never found to be a perfect cadet, as illu- strated by being brought in by the law. One day he was brought in to the Commandant's office by two police officers, who caught him taking a bath in the Staunton Pond. After receiving his counciling, he Commandant also reminded him to stop his fishing in the school pool, for just that day he had hooked six cadets.

As spring soon approached, he engaged in many other activities. Zammo was loose and the town soon found out what people were like from his neck of the woods. One day as he was marching down the street and did a column left in front of Woolworth's he was found to come face to face with what is commonly known as a "Townie." It was quite a experience for Zammo since he had never especially saw an eight foot tall Townie before with hair greased back, wearing a set of overalls. Zammo had figured it could not be any worse than wrestling alligators back home. It was a wild fight for in a hour there was grease and blood everywhere to be seen. The entire Staunton Police force arrived, but he was too late, because Zammo had already disposed of the "Townie." Dur- ing the fight, Zammo was noticed by a group of Stuart Hall bush-whackers, who promptly carried him off to Stuart Hall. Zammo was amazed, because he was usually the one who did the courtin', for he was not accustomed to such rude hospital- ity.

What happened to Zammo at Stuart Hall is still a mys- tery. Rumor tells that he is Professor of Alligator Wrestling and tactical instructor of "Townie desposal."

u N

R

M

N! There are some great bargains

around. Most Seniors are selling all of their unwanted items, everything from tiles to light globes. Drop in and see what's for sale.

Some of the key rooms for these bargains at 300, 200, 500, 300A, 125, 121 819, 804, 126, and 808.

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Page 4 THE KABLEGRAM

Varsity Tennis The Varsity Tennis team coach-

ed by Lt. Talbot kept up its po- tential in tennis during the month of April.

The tennis team traveled to Fork- Union to play host against the Blue Devils of Fork Union. The team played a hard fought match, but suffered a 5-2 defeat. It was the first defeat in the Virginia Mili- tary School League and the play- ers plan to get revenge when Fork Union will travel to Staunton.

The tennis team finally got a chance to open its home season by playing Greenbrier Military School. The Hilltoppers played an excep- tionally well executed match and came out on top with a 5-2 victory. The next match encountered a duel with Fishburne Military School. Lt. Talbot was not able to travel with the team because his wife gave birth to his son Samuel Talbot. The Hilltoppers made the day even more enjoyable by defeating Fish- burne Military School 6-1. The Hilltoppers finally met its rivals down the street, Augusta Military Academy. The Blue Streaks of Augusta again went down in de- feat to the Hilltoppers by a 6-1 score.

To this date the Hilltoppers ten- nis team 4-2 overall and hold a 3-1 VMSL record. Staunton has three matches coming up in the future which will decide who will be the VMSL champs. They play Hargrave twice and Fork Union once. Lt. Talbot feels that he has the hardest working players he has ever coached and believes it is in them to be champs.

Varsity Tennis Schedule

May 1 Augusta Military Academy Home 2:00

May 4 Fork Union Military Acad- emy Home 3:30

May 6 Fishburne Military Acad- emy Home 2:30

May 8 Hargrave Military emy Home 2:00

Acad-

May 10 Randolph Macon Home 3:30

May 11 Hargrave Military Acad- emy Away 2:00

VICTORY SIGN—SMA's John Scheel, left, and Pern Thomson lift their hands in a victory sign as they hit the tape in the mile run of the Augusta County Invitational Meet with a winning time of 4:57.3. The two Hilltoppers easily outdistanced the field to tie for first place.

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Records Posters

Track: Future 1971 State Champions

You better believe it! This year's track team has the potential and the desire to possibly become one of the greatest track teams in the history of the sport at SMA.

The 1971 season opened with Hargrave Military Academy, and the thin-clads ran them into the ground with a score of 86-48. The team's next meet with Fork Union was a heart-breaker. Although a valiant attempt was made by the SMA to fight them off, FUMA managed to win the meet by two points: 69-67. However, a stronger and more experienced team will reap revenge in the VMSL!

The next two weeks against Lane High School in Charlottesville (a triple-A school of about 3,000 stu- dents) and Eastern Mennonite Col- lege were losses as far as the "books" go, but they gave the team some experience and competition which has made them stronger.

On April 17, the team traveled to Charlottesville once again for the Dogwood Invitational. Out of 21 participating teams SMA placed 6th. Then they bounced back on

SUPPORT

the 24th and won the Augusta County Invitational hosted by SMA. And two days later, the team traveled to Woodstock, Vir- ginia and tromped Massanutten 96-38.

This year's team is marked by a number of individual stand-outs, but everyone on the team, doing his share, has helped make it the great team that it is. However, you might note that already this year three school records have fallen with: Bruce Snyder's fantastic throw of 55 feet in the shot put; Mike Malikowsky's 51.1 in the quarter mile (Mike also broke the record at the Dogwood Invitational in the quarter in 51.1); and Billy Paukovit's 21'3" in the broad jump. And still, a good many other rec- ords are in falling.

The team VMSL now, State Meet. Cunningham

imminent danger of

is ready for the and after that, the Head Coach Roy

states, "We've got more potential, I believe, than any other year before. We've just have to put it all together and pull out the championship."

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