RULES & EXPECTATIONS RULES & EXPECTATIONS FOR CLOSE FOR CLOSE

RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

THE NATURE OF RELATIONSHIP THE NATURE OF RELATIONSHIP RULES/EXPECTATIONSRULES/EXPECTATIONS

CULTURAL AND PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS– Assist With Predictability– Set Standards To Be Negotiated

COME FROM MEDIA, FAMILY, FRIENDS, PARTNER, GROUP MEMBERSHIP STANDARDS, ETC.

GUESS THE %GUESS THE %

USE: 32%; 30%; 26%; 12% IN 1998, AMERICAN HOUSEHOLDS

CONSISTED OF:– Not Married With Children _________ %– Not Married Without Children _______%– Married With Children _____________%– Married Without Children __________ %

COMMON COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT

COMMUNICATION IN COMMUNICATION IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPSCLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

WE WILL COMMUNICATE CONSISTENTLY RELATIONSHIPS TAKE LESS EFFORT ONCE

CLOSENESS IS ESTABLISHED PROBLEMS WILL ARISE, BUT WE WILL

SOLVE THEM AND MOVE ON COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS CAN BE

TRACED TO ONE PARTNER OR THE OTHER

““UNIVERSAL” UNIVERSAL” RELATIONSHIP RULESRELATIONSHIP RULES

RESPECT THE OTHER’S PRIVACY LOOK THE OTHER PERSON IN THE

EYE DURING CONVERSATION DON’T DISCUSS THAT WHICH IS SAID

IN CONFIDENCE WITH ANOTHER PERSON

RULES/EXPECTATIONS FOR RULES/EXPECTATIONS FOR ROMANTIC ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS SHORT TERM

– APPEARANCE– SOCIAL INTEGRATION– FREEDOM

LONG TERM– RELAXATION– EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT– AFFECTION DEMONSTRATION– RELIABILITY– PHYSICAL INTIMACY

RULES/EXPECTATIONS RULES/EXPECTATIONS MOST COMMONLY MOST COMMONLY

VIOLATED IN VIOLATED IN ROMANTIC ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

RESPECT ENJOYMENT TWOSOME OTHER DIRECTED PRESENCE

RULES/EXPECTATIONS RULES/EXPECTATIONS FOR FOR FRIENDSHIPSFRIENDSHIPS

GIVE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT OFFER HELP WHEN NEEDED REPAY DEBTS AND FAVORS ESTABLISH RULES ABOUT 3rd PARTY

POTENTIAL PROBLEMS ESTABLISH RULES ABOUT

PREVENTING CONFLICT

MOST PROBLEMATIC MOST PROBLEMATIC VIOLATIONS IN VIOLATIONS IN FRIENDSHIPSFRIENDSHIPS

BEING JEALOUS/CRITICAL OF YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

NOT KEEPING CONFIDENCES CRITICIZING YOU IN PUBLIC NOT VOLUNTEERING HELP IN TIME OF

NEED

NOT SHOWING POSITIVE REGARD FOR YOU

NOT STANDING UP FOR YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE

NOT GIVING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT