Rubric for Family Mobile Assignment Name: _______________ Each Family Member Represented /5 Each Family Member Thoughtfully Placed /5 Each Family Representative is Weighted /5 Each Family Value is Present /5 Mobile Shows Cultural Uniqueness /5 Mobile is Balanced (Potential to become Unbalanced)

/5Total Points: /30

Due this Wednesday at the beginning of Class

Forgiveness i

You will know that forgiveness has begun

when you recall those who hurt you

and feel the power to wish them well.

Lewis B. SmedesTeacher & Author

forgiveness & MeAlexander Solzhenitsyn wrote: “If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human-being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

forgiveness & me“A part of the key to entering into forgiveness is understanding. If one can understand why people behave as they do then often the road to forgiveness is opened. Not only is forgiveness essential for the health of society, it is also vital for our personal well-being. Bitterness is like a cancer that enters the soul. It does more harm to those that hold it than to those whom it is held against,”Terry Waite (held hostage in Beirut for almost 5 years, 1987-1991. The first four years were spent in total solitary confinement).

forgiveness & me

Forgiveness “is the most powerful weapon we have against terrorism and atrocity,” Emma Thompson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUXfvAwLHAQKaty Hutchison Story

discussion questions

Choose a Recorder for your Group

What did you feel as you heard this story?

What words lie beneath your feelings? Why do you think you felt like this?

What led Ryan to do what he did?

What led Katy to do what she did?

What difference does forgiveness make in this story?

What would the story look like without forgiveness?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5SH-QB3SMU

Amish Story: Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania

steps to forgive another1. Understand what the person did to you, that is was wrong, why it was wrong, and that you are angry (hurt).2. Cool down, gain self-control. Understand why they did it.3. Confront the wrongdoer. Express your feelings to them in a self-controlled way.4. Accept that the wrong has happened and that you can’t change it.5. Let go of your anger and forgive the wrongdoer.6. Forget the wrong and move on. Remember to keep forgiving and move on.7. Get to know the wrongdoer. 8. Help others to forgive the wrongdoer.

forgiveness & meReflect on how forgiveness works in your own life. Answer the following questions in writing. Add it on to your Forgiveness notes.

Do you recognize the need for forgiveness in human relationships? If yes, why is it necessary? If no, what do you do when a significant wrong is committed against you, or you commit a wrong against someone else? What happens to that relationship?

Do you forgive others when they do something that hurts or offends you? Why do you forgive them? Upon what do you base the forgiveness you offer? At what point do you forgive them?

What is the most powerful forgiveness story you have experienced in your life? Write about it. This story will involve you. It can be about you giving or receiving forgiveness.

hom-e-o-sta-sis

Today we are going to learn about homeostasis.

What is homeostasis and how does it work?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4Xi1R_pJKU&NR=1Homeostasis Video

Homeostasis

While homeostasis works in our bodies, there is another kind of homeostasis that works in our families and relationships.

Families and other Relational Circles (like friend circles) try to keep their atmosphere stable, or balanced. When something tries to change the family balance from within, or without, the family, “sensors” go off which trigger a response to get things balanced and back to a state of normal.

homeostasis

Perhaps you have noticed this working in your family or friendship circle.

Something disrupts what is considered “normal” by the family and signals go off that aim to bring things back to the regular state of balance or equilibrium.

Both positive and negative events can throw the family system off its normal way of relating.

Example: Older brother moves out and goes to college. What happens to the family system?

Short Story

Mom decides she is not going to . . .

homeostasis

It takes significant effort to bring about a paradigm shift in ourselves and our families. (Paradigm = pattern/ model).

homeostasis

It takes significant effort to bring about a paradigm shift in ourselves and our families. (Paradigm = pattern/ model).What’s What’s new new here?here?

What’s What’s new new here?here?

homestasis

For Katy Hutchison, she encountered a huge paradigm shift when her husband was murdered. Her world, as she knew it, came to an end.

She had to rediscover the meaning of her life and what she would do from that point on.

She was determined that the death of her husband was not going to be the defining event in her children’s lives.

She recognized what she couldn’t change and moved on.

family homeostasis

Dad

Older SisterMe

Baby Brother

homeostasis

Homeostasis is at work in our families, but it is also at work in our friendship circles, classes and school.

Keep in mind that everyone carries around them a “mobile” of their family. Then we come to school and relate to one another.

In a way, we are a system of systems. Like a cluster of solar systems in our classes, and clusters of galaxies in our school.

Our relationship are complex and need a lot of grace.

homeostasis

What is your role in your family “mobile” or system?

You can make a difference.

You can be a member who aims to have open relationships, forgiving others of their wrongs and asking others to forgive you of your wrongs.

written response

What changes has my family “mobile” gone through?

How have I and my family adjusted? What roles are different from what they used to be?

If there has been significant change . . .

Do I need to forgive someone? For what?

Do I need to ask someone to forgive me? For what?

Forgiveness ii

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man

has need to be forgiven.

Thomas Fuller

Classwork DueFamily Roles, Rules and Values Written Assignment

Due tomorrow: Tuesday, May 10

Use the following Format(Available on the class wikispace)

My Family

My Family Members & Their Roles /2.5Names and Role Description

Five of My Family’s Habits /7.51. Morning Routines2. Welcoming Guests3. Going on Vacation4. Celebrating Birthdays5. Weekly Worship

My Family’s Rules /3* Three Must Dos as a Family* Three Must Dos as a Member of the Family* Three Must Never Dos and Why (Family or Member)

Five Words that Describe My Family /1One, Two, Three, Four, Five (Adjectives)

A Handful of Family Values /1Noun, Noun, Noun, Noun, Noun

How to lay out your

reflections on your family.

You may use as many pages as

you need to complete your

work.

My Family . . . Continued

Mobile Reflection /5

* What changes has my family “mobile” gone through?* How have I and my family adjusted? (Consider what events have shifted the homeostasis of your family and how your family has regained equilibrium).

* What roles are different from what they used to be?

If there has been significant change . . .* Do I need to forgive someone? For what?* Do I need to ask someone to forgive me? For what?

How to lay out your

reflections on your family.

You may use as many pages as

you need to complete your

work.

Steps to request forgiveness7th Grade

7th Grade1. Reflect on how your actions affected the other person and why they might wish to forgive you.2. Put yourself in the other person’s position.3. Think about what to say to the person. How to say “Sorry.”4. Gather the courage to go to them (swallow your pride).5. Ask if you can get together to talk. I want to talk about what I did wrong.6. Meet them in a quiet, neutral, location.7. Say “Sorry.” Talk about how to get along. Hug.8. Be prepared for them to not forgive you.9. Make sure to not repeat the mistake.

Steps to request Forgiveness

1. Realize that you have done something wrong. Experience regret about what you did. 2. Prepare to face the person.3. Repair your actions. Do something good to compensate your wrong.4. Understand the situation from the other person’s perspective.5. Go and talk it out. Get rid of conflicts between each other. Admit your mistakes.6. Reflect on what happened and how it affected your relationship. Think about what you can do differently next time.7. Give the offended person time to forgive you.

8th Grade

8th Grade

Steps to request Forgiveness1. Understand what you did wrong. Feel regret and guilt. Stand in the other person’s shoes. 2. Discuss the situation with the one you wronged.3. Confess what you did wrong to the person. Say “Sorry.” 4. Puppy eyes. Beg. Ask forgiveness.5. Don’t repeat your wrong behavior.6. If the person doesn’t forgive you, give them time to get over the situation and then try asking forgiveness again.7. Give the person you wronged a present.8. Build relationship with the person you wronged.

6th Grade

6th Grade

1.  Withholding forgiveness hurts the other person.The truth is: Withholding forgiveness hurts yourself.

2.  Forgiveness is a passive endeavor.The truth is: Forgiveness is a very active endeavor, where you can ultimately reach out in love and compassion to the other person.

3.  Forgiveness lets people off the hook, so they aren't accountable to their actions.The truth is: Forgiveness and accountability are not the same topic. You can have both. Forgive another by offering empathy and unity; yet still uphold the process of accountability within the social structure.

4.  Forgiving someone tells that person that whatever he or she did was acceptable with you.The truth is: Accepting their actions and accepting their true nature underneath it all are two very different things. You can make that clear.5.  Forgiveness is for the other person.The truth is: Forgiving another is an act we do for ourselves, to free ourselves from the pain or bitterness.

10 Misconceptions about forgiveness

10 Misconceptions about forgiveness

6.  When you are forgiving, you are "pardoning" someone's bad behavior.The truth is: There is no "pardoning," just a clearer perception on who that other person truly is, and what they can still provide to your life, to a community and to a society.7.  Forgiveness is done by saying the words "I forgive you." The truth is: Forgiveness resides not only in words but also in thought, feeling and action.8.  Forgiving another person doesn't do any good really.The truth is: It not only uplifts you AND that person in ways unseen, but it brings that much more light to a world in need.9.  Forgiveness is only for religious people.The truth is: It's for all of us walking the planet.10.  It's too hard to forgive.The truth is: It can be hard, but not too hard, not when you have the right support and perspective.

(The previous list 10 Misconceptions About Forgiveness is for discussion purposes only. Including it here does not equal my endorsement of the list or the website from which it came, http://www.catherineblountfdn.org/forgiveness.html).

Forgiveness

Is forgiveness necessary? Why or why not?

What are the outcomes of receiving forgiveness, or not receiving forgiveness for a wrong done?

what if you were ryan?

How would you respond if you were Ryan?

What would it be like to be forgiven?

How would you feel being on stage with Katy in front of a crowd of high school teens?

Why would you agree or disagree to join Katy in her presentations?

two lettersWrite two letters. One

granting forgiveness and one requesting

forgiveness.

Create two mock scenarios that are true to life.

Keep the steps we have discerned as a class in

mind.They are on the class

wikispace.

Choose one conversation

You will practice granting forgiveness to someone, or requesting forgiveness of someone.

Choose a classmate to whom you will read your letter. Now you will have a face to face conversation about the situation.

What hopes do you have for this conversation?

How will you try to see those hopes unfold?

Keep the Steps we discerned as a class about giving and receiving forgiveness in mind.