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Rochelle Zell Jewish High School, Rochelle Zell, www.rzjhs.org
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15 Adar II, 5776
March 25, 2016
This Week atRochelle Zell
Purim 2016Purim SpielsCostumed Concepts Chesed Club BasketballCommunity Service ProjectsLunch Menu UpdatesCommencement 2016Community EventsAlumni TriviaA Taste of Torah
Class Schedule
Monday, March 28A
Tuesday, March 29C
The Best Day of the Year
"You're late, you're late, tefillah begins at eight!" The WhiteRabbit at the front desk welcomed students and staff intoschool this morning, where photos were snapping, groggerswere grogging, and Purim was in full sway at Rochelle ZellJewish High School! BeGer duck your head as you enter theBeit Knesset, especially if you're giant Gumby twins Felix Rosenand Akiva Stein, who aren't tall enough already and may bangtheir heads on the way in! And... "Jail break!" Midway through
Wednesday, March 30BB
Thursday, March 31C
Friday, April 1A
Quick LinksRZJHS.orgCalendarsLunch MenuEdlineGive Now
Save The Date
March 252:15 Dismissal Begins
April 10-‐11Wagner Ins[tute atRochelle Zell Jewish HighSchool
April 10ACT
April 14School Musical: The 25thAnnual Putnam CountySpelling Bee
April 20-‐May 2Pesach Break
April 22First Seder
May 3AP Exams
davenning, the senior girls made a break for it in their orangejumpsuits, with the senior boys right behind them as the RZPD. We're commanded to blot out the memory of Amalek, plus orminus Darth Feinsmith's Star Wars rendiQon of the Torahreading, and a trivia contest megillah reading, courtesy of Mr.Eskin, Ms. Nadis, Mrs. Eliaser, Hadar Halivni, and the Va'adTefillah. Upside down and inside out, as long as we're notaccidentally boo-‐ing Mordechai (sorry about that, Chapter 5)or waiQng for silence (whenever you're ready, Judaic Studiesteachers!), it's all in good fun!
The Name GamePurim Spiels Have a Go At Our Name Change!
Big changes came this past year to Chicagoland Jewish HighSchool, from the hallowed halls where the seniors sleep sopeacefully, to the Beit Knesset where Rabbi Belgrad sings sohappily with the students at davenning (all three of them). Allof a sudden, at the drop of a hat, no one is allowed to say CJanymore! Next thing we know, Fashion Police Ms. Inez Drazin isstalking the building, confiscaQng everything in sight! Isnothing sacred? The shock, the grief, the anger, the gleefulanQcipaQon... the faculty Purim spiel spiraled out of controlwith an avalanche of changes in Rochelle Zell Jewish HighSchool, where next thing you know, Mr. Luis MarQnez will bethe head rabbi and Mr. Taylor the new chair of Judaic studies,where security guards Ms. Parker and Mrs. Eliaser will chasegossiping layabouts out of the development office so thesecretaries can actually do their jobs, where Julia MaQ's collegeprofessors will accept MUN acQviQes for semester credit andDylan Janaczak won't get his fingers stuck in a test tube.
It's prime Qme on "The School," the junior class spiel,where Talia Gorstein is having an existenQal crisis asto her worthiness to be a 'G,' Mr. Griffith, lampoonedwith deadly accuracy by Henry Wolle, is grilling hisstudents ala "The Bachelor," and Tallulah Bark-‐Huss'Dr. Schorsch is telling the news anchor all about theteleological suspension of the ethical-‐-‐if only hermortal listeners can figure out what on earth she's sotransfixed by. The kashrut police are doing their usual
uncompromising job of policing our eatables, suspicious paper sacks, and stray pets, and Mr. Schermay yet be able to pronounce the freshmen's names as he pages them over the PA system righthere at RZJKLOMNOPHS.
Seniors, why are you late? The senior Purim spielwill make you sorry you've ever asked, as the torridand suspenseful tale of disaster chronicles everycoffee run, accident, press-‐gang, bout of indenturedservitude, and power nap that ever made EmilyZfrani come waltzing in at 2:19 p.m. and call itmorning. Speaking of quesQons you don't want tohear the answers to, Celia Pivo and Hana Lieber havetried, "Why aren't you coming to mincha?!" and are
not pleased with the answers! What do you mean creepy? What do you you mean, solitaryshucklers cocooned in a circle of culQsh mumbling? If you're looking for creepy, look towards theschool basement, 'cuz it's just eaten Coby Drexler. Chalk it up to one more mystery that we werenever meant to know!
Alumni Trivia
Who is that mysterious masked physics teacher? It's Sara Behn, debuQng in the junior Purim spiel asMrs. Eliaser, whose highfaluQn prolix on biomechanical fluid dynamics explains why she's chuggingfrom that giant water boGle every day, but only if you can understand a single word she is talkingabout. Which of our esteemed alumni took the cake for wildly successful faculty impersonaQons onPurim, and where are they now?
All Suited Up
The Donald kept a blessedly low profile this morning at services-‐-‐both of him! The elecQon reared itsugly head with a pair of dueling Trumps, complete with hardworking redneck David Weisskopf, whocame as a Trump supporter. For those of who in despair of your lives as November looms closer, don'tworry-‐-‐ 2016 sported not one but two enQre brigades of lifeguard girls read to revive you! We hadGossip Girls, superheroes, teddy bears, Cruella DeVille and Sheriff Woody. The sophomore boys andgirls colonized an enQre beach's worth of Hawaiian shirts, and Henry Wolle took up his old career as"Paper or PlasQc?" Michael Daughtery took the honors again for geek cosplay with hisAssassin's Creed oujit, with Noah Magill right behind him as Dread Pirate Roberts. SamBrody and Lily Copley came as nerds, and if you didn't get the pun, you weren't payingaGenQon! Meira Groth was the loveliest hippie in fiky years; Sophie Kaufman, ShacharRosenblaa, and Molly Hart came as math homework: notebook, calculator, and pinkhighlighter. (Very pink in the case of Molly Hart, whose hair stays that color even whenit's not Purim.)
My, Ms. Friedman, you're looking spry today! Wait, no, that's Eli Hartman-‐Seeskin, leading the annualRZJHS Impersonators brigade in the blonde coiffure and liGle denim jacket of everybody'sfavorite color-‐coordinated English teacher, with Mrs. Eliaser right behind him in the tzniusflorals and #RebbeMagic of Sarah Comar! Coach MarQnez swept the costume contestwith his deadly accurate Jon Silver oujit, complete with baseball prowess, carefully blankstare, and Jon Silver dressed as Coach MarQnez to heckle him. Who knew bunnies wore
so much long black skirts? "Most creaQve" costume award went to Ms. Steinberg thePlayboy Bunny, with "most funny" going to Yoni Maltsman, tricked out in Academy Acesgear to bash all us lightweight conservaQve Jews! However, the undisputed "cutest"definitely goes to Rabbi Greenberg's baby, dressed as a piece of sushi, trailing a cry of,"Awwww...!" wherever he crawled.
The faculty was sporQng some Chicagoland Jewish High School duds this morning, with ten years'worth of vintage t-‐shirts that suddenly aren't as normal as they were last Purim. The languagedepartment came in its usual display of adorable color-‐coordinaQon, came as a matched set ofemoQcons, "¿Cómo se siente hoy?" and not to be outdone, the math department came as a musicalnumber, complete with a talent show, courtesy of, "The Logra-‐rhythms!" Click here to watch!
Purim Basketball TournamentChesed Club Raises Funds for Chai Lifeline
Yasher koach to YPI and the enQre Rochelle Zellcommunity for raising over $6,000 in mishloach manotfunds for the Chicago FoundaQon for EducaQon! Newthis year, the Chesed Club added a 3-‐on-‐3 basketballtournament to raise money for Chai Lifeline, thefoundaQon improving life for children with cancer andtheir families. The thirty-‐minute hoops extravaganzaraised a significant sum for the foundaQon, with thesophomores taking a slim lead with some preGyamazing moves all around. Yasher koach to everyonewho is sQll playing! Click here to donate to the cause.
Community Service ProjectsRochelle Zell Hits the Road for Purim
"We've never had Superman in our warehouse before!" exclaimed the director of the Libertyville foodoutreach program, as buses from Rochelle Zell pulled up to do some good in the community! As soonas the game was over, masks came off and humorous paper signs were discarded, as our studentsboarded the buses to head out into the community. Freshmen volunteered with the residents of theGidwitz Center on Lake Cook Road, playing Yiddish bingo and visiQng with the residents.Sophomores stacked shelves in the food pantry and made merry with the clients at the ARK inChicago. The senior class hit the canned goods secQon at Northern Illinois Food Bank in Geneva,where our students have been working for food jusQce for many years. Juniors volunteered at FeedMy Starving Children in Libertyville, where they joined lots of other volunteers and families packingvitamins, soy powder, dried veggies and rice to be shipped to starving children in Honduras. RabbiGreenberg says,"It was an incredible experience. We did the whole thing assembly line-‐style: everysingle kid was essenQal to the process, from the ones stuffing and packing and sealing to the onesrunning around to refill the rice bin. With 86 volunteers this Purim, we boxed 120 boxes with 36 six-‐serving pouches; this day's work will feed 70 kids for a year!"
Lunch Menu UpdatePlease Note Changes!
Aker six months of surprises at midday, our food service has finally updated the Rochelle Zellmenu! Below you will find the lunch menu, updated as to reflect what is actually being servedeach day in the cafeteria.
What precisely is being harvested for the harvest vegetable soup? Send your guesses to E-‐News. We’re having a raffle.
Commencement 2016Happy Adar and Freilichen Purim
Sponsored Breakfast
Oy, I'll forget my own head next, along with Sara's bag and Felix'skeys. Happy 18th birthday to Eli Johnson, who can now vote, andthanks to Eli's family for sponsoring bagels last week. To sponsorbreakfast in honor of your favorite Tiger, contact Diane Zidman inthe front office, and while you're at it, compliment her on herbeauQfully smooth, rendiQon of "Shalom, Rochelle Zell Jewish HighSchool!" Please also tell her you want a sumptuous three-‐courserepast like the one we had for the holiday.
Community News and Events
We pause now for a word from our sponsor.
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Alumni Trivia
Gotcha!Gotcha!
Faculty Deja Vu on Purim was pioneered by Jessica Hochberg('14), whose 2011 Ms. Susnow getup was so effecQve
that several students were heard wondering why theircharismaQc and creaQve Talmud teacher hadn't bothereddressing up for Purim! The real Ms. Susnow eventuallyemerged from under a hoodie and shades as anequally convincing JusQn Bieber, causing mass embarrassmentto those freshmen who didn't recognize their favorite teacherwithout her 2chel.
Jessica is now majoring in English and psychology atWashington University, where she is researching languagedisorders in children, and minoring in liberal arts in business.Last summer, she interned with the JUF where she wrotearQcles for the JUF News and OY! Chicago. Jessica is acQve inher campus Hillel and AEPhi chapter. The enthusiasQc andclever Ms. Susnow lives in Haifa with her husband, Rabbi MaGSusnow, where, in their latest superhuman bout of JewisheducaQon, they are raising three adorable liGle munchkins allunder the age of three.
Of course, the legendary Maya Behn ('14) swept the honors forthree years running with her fearsomely accurate Mrs. EliaserimpersonaQon, complete with double-‐taking juniors coming upto ask her for help on their physics rewrites and Ms. Friedmanturning to her with the junior aGendance list to ask if she'dseen Maya Behn about the place that morning. (In fact, legendadds that Mrs. Eliaser's eldest child, when presented atkindergarten with a photo of the Purim fesQviQes onsomebody's phone, was asked which of the ladies there washer Mommy, promptly pointed lek, and was astounded to findshe'd goGen it wrong!) Maya is now hugely enjoying herself asa pre-‐med English major at Haverford, T.A.'ing generalchemistry and running the Women in STEM blog. Maya isproud to be Haverford's correspondent for the Hillary forAmerica campaign. Maya reports, "I'm trying to find a summerposiQon a clinic working with OB/GYNs or pediatricians; thereare a few in the city that look like they can take me." Way togo, Maya!
A Taste of Torah
Nine out of ten school-‐age children can tell you that hamantaschenare “oznei haman,” liGle pastry models of Haman’s ears, which weeat in triumph over his defeat. Only one out of ten children,however, make the appropriate scienQfic inference, which is that ifthese liGle cookies are truly Haman’s ears, the celebrated villainmust have had ears like a giant pixied bat and frightened smallchildren in Shushan every Qme he lek the house. Fortunately, a
liGle bit of research will reveal that “oznei haman” are actually fazuelos, deep-‐fried Sephardicsweet rounds—a completely different delicacy—supporQng the noQon that Haman was arelaQvely normal-‐looking man, despite his occasional tendency to frost his ears with honey beforeleaving for work.
“Hamantaschen” are actually German in origin, and their namemeans “Haman’s pockets.” The mystery of why Haman tailored allhis suits with triangular pockets can be solved by our friends atHeinz-‐Galinski Day School over in Berlin, who speak German and cantell us that “hamantaschen” is a corrupted form of “mohntaschen,”the original name of the dish. “Mohntaschen” means “poppyseedpockets,” a descripQon far more in accord with the current
confecQon than any of these previous monikers. Clearly, Haman kept his pockets stuffed withpoppyseed because he was a major drug mogul in the Persian empire, a hobby which accounts forthe peculiar control he exerts over Achashverosh over the course of the Purim story, as well as hisability to donate millions of shekels to unsavory poliQcal causes based on personal biases. ByeaQng hamantaschen, we are celebraQng Mordechai’s heroic audit of Haman’s less-‐than-‐legalestate earnings, as it is wriGen, “VaTasem Esther et Mordechai al beit Haman.” So eat up, andhappy Purim!
-‐-‐Mrs. Shira Eliaser
We hope you have enjoyed this special holiday edi2on of E-‐News. We will return to our usual
sobering regimen of academic announcements, baseball losses, adver2sing, and depressing worldevents next week. In the mean2me, nosh some hamantaschen and happy Purim!
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