7/28/2019 Remarks Prepared for (My Friend) J.Rs Funeral

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Remarks Prepared for J.Rs Funeral

On this solemn day we are gathered here to re-affirm the significant life, our brother, cousin, son and our friend,J.R Rice lived. Bereaved and grief stricken as we are; there is not one of us who isnt happier today that our life

was touched by this gentle giant. In our grief we are reminded of the impact his presence had on us; we are

reminded how important each smile, each word, each touch or each act was to us. We mourn because we

thought there would be time to amass many more smiles, words, touches and more memories. In grieving weacknowledge the frailty of this thoughtlife doesnt last forever, we realize yet grief stricken we still ask the

questionwhy him? We still askwhy now? We still askWhy take such a good man from us? It is a sad fact

that though we may ask why, no answer given will ever quench the desire to have him back with us again. Andlike you, I desire him more today than yesterday. Like you, I loved J.R like a brother. And in giving this

memorial I want to share with you two memories I had with J.R before ending with some remarks to his

children and a poem I wrote.

Memory 1: 10th

Grade Football, my regret over not playing

Memory 2: Standing up for me in Clyde

I told these two stories because we all have memories similar to these; memories of J.R as a protector, friend,

confidant or encourager. We all have memories of J.R being J.R; imperfect as he wasand he would be the

first to admit he was imperfect, he was still J.R. Seeing that I am amongst friends I know I dont have to say

this, but I feel I mustJ.R was a great man; he was a marvelous manand in honor of him I want to share thispoem with you, its called A Great Man

A Great ManWhat does it mean to be great?

Is it a measure of height or statue?

To be sure, greatness is love in action; it is dignified companionship.It is bestowed not earned.

Those adorned with its title do not aspire to its height

They live by a simple creeda creed of kinship and acceptance.

Life is embodied in them

Relationships are strengthened through themEternity is shortened by them

And experiences are transcended by themA Great Man isnt defined by his personality but esteemed by his interactions

He is not one to share his mind but one who shares his heart.

He doesnt claim to be perfect but wears his imperfections proudly

He doesnt give for recognition but recognizes the importance of givingAnd though he may not be religious

A Great Man doesnt acknowledge God through worship but lives God through his works.

This is J.R, he was a great man. We all knew it; we all know it. And it is for this reason that he will be missed

more than many others we have lost.

Before I wrap up Id like to address his children; for this moment in their lives will extend far into the futureand though many people may comfort them and offer them strength; the reality of this event will impact you for

a long time.

Like you I lost a parent young; I wasnt as young as you but I was young nonetheless. From this point on, your

life is going to be separated into two eras; before the parent died and after J.R died. You will remember the

before time, as fantastic and ripe with innocence. Events will be whitewashed to perfection; problems will beminimized or suppressed. In your subconscious you may realize the lie this represents; but you will cling to it to

remain close to your fallen parent.

7/28/2019 Remarks Prepared for (My Friend) J.Rs Funeral

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The after times will be filled with a deep yearning forJ.R; a deep wish that he wouldnt have died. There willbe days, sometimes consecutive days when you will pray before going to sleep, that youll wake up the next

morning to find that the death was a terrible dream. There will be days marked by pleas to God to bring J.R

back, it will be marked by bargaining with God to bring J.R backyoullpromise to always be good to

dedicate your life to some cause greater than yourself and then youll grow angry when your pleas gounanswered and your bargain is rejected. It is likely that during this time you will experience depression mixed

with deep angeranger towards God for taking J.R away then towards J.R for going away, then towards

yourself for having driven him away. In grief you will remember every little action you made that may havebeen seen as ungrateful. These actions, though many people might tell you otherwise, might be seen by you as

reasons why J.R went away.

I say this to you today my children, all these things are natural; they are all part of the grieving process. The

challenge for you, over the coming years, years that will stretch out and at some points seem to go on forever; is

to separate life into one more era, the after I finished grieving erabecause it is through grieving that you will

free yourself from sadness.

Through this process you are likely to feel guilty once acceptance leads to you letting J.R go, a thought that

seems inconceivable nowbut that is the ultimate end to grief, you wont forget J.Ror deny his meaning to

you; but you will learn to live comfortably with the truth that he is gone, never to return again. As it was told tome, you will learn to live beyond his death.

This is a long learning process but it will happen; thus is the promise of grief. Do not be afraid to ask for help ifyour grief becomes too much and do not fail to admit its existence. You are loved by so many people who will

be there to help youremember that and gain strength through it.

In closing let me ask the Holy Mother and Father to accept our friend, our brother, our son and our cousin into

heaven without delay. Take good care of him and us as we make the transition to living without his presence.

He will be missed, my brother Godspeed.