Relationship VisionDiscovery Tool

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Maggie Reyes

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Developing a Relationship Vision helps you stay focused on creating a thriving marriage. Instructions: Answer these questions for yourself. If you want your partner to participate, lovingly invite them andbe prepared to accept a yes or a no. Just because they don't like an exercise doesn't mean they don'tlove you. My hubby loves playing video games. I don't. Having different preferences does not have any bearingon the amount of love in your relationship. If your partner does want to participate, the best way to approach this exercise is for each of you toanswer the questions individually and separately and then compare notes *after* you have answeredthe questions. MARRIAGE OVERALL - Start with a broad view of your relationship. What is your picture of your marriage now? What is your picture of what you thought marriage was going to be? What I want more than anything is... The cost of not taking action is...

RELATIONSHIP VISION DISCOVERY TOOL

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What do you want your marriage to look like? In my ideal marriage... Who am I being in my marriage? Who do I want to be in my marriage? What else is coming up for me?

RELATIONSHIP VISION DISCOVERY TOOL

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Components of a Thriving Marriage -  There are 5 areas you want to have a clear vision about in your marriage. You can add anything elsethat comes to mind.  For example, financial intimacy is part of emotional intimacy for me, so I personally put those twotogether and don't have a separate category for it. For you it may be a whole separate topic to thinkabout. If you have kids, how you parent as a team might come under Choosing Each Other First and acouple other categories.  Use this as a guide and feel free to include whatever resonates most strongly for you.  LOVE CATEGORIES 1. Emotional & Sexual Intimacy - verbal and sexual communication2. Appreciation - satisfaction and feeling good 3. Choosing Each Other First - fidelity, nurturing, shared commitment 4. Daily Acts of Love - friendship, time together, creating connection 5. Acceptance, Safety & Power - trust, honesty, managing conflicts, non-violent interactions Step 1Complete the Where is the Love? Quiz below to see where you fall on each of these categories rightnow.  Step 2 Review your results. Areas marked 4 and 5 are thriving - keep cultivating and nourishing them. Areasmarked at 3 and below need your loving attention to keep your relationship strong. 

THE 5 LOVE CATEGORIES

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Instructions: Rate on a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is not satisfied at all and 5 is I am the happiest I couldpossibly be in this area.  EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY I love our talks.  I feel heard and understood and I know I understand my husband well.  We have a great sex life. We are both satisfied with the quality and quantity of our sexual interactions. We are both reliable and speak truthfully to each other. We trust each other when we make commitments. APPRECIATION I regularly express appreciation for my husband. I regularly receive expressions of appreciation from my husband. I am satisfied with our relationship most of the time. We are kind to each other every day. Since we have been together, I have grown so much, my life is richer and better.

WHERE IS THE LOVE? QUIZ

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CHOOSING EACH OTHER FIRST We consult each other when we need to make decisions. We do not see each other as interruptions but as priorities.  I feel we are both equally committed to creating an awesome relationship. DAILY ACTS OF LOVE We hug, kiss, or demonstrate affection in some physical way daily. We regularly plant os pend fun time together. We know what's happening in each other's lives. We purposefully work as a team, helping each other in big and small ways. ACCEPTANCE, SAFETY & POWER I make requests not complaints and am clear in asking for my most important needs. I can start a delicate conversation without having my partner shut down or tune out. We balance trust and transparency well in our relationship.  When something goes wrong, I know we will figure it out together. I listen to my husband's point of view with an open heart. We regularly share opinions and develop new ideas based on what we share.

WHERE IS THE LOVE? QUIZ

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How do I want to feel? What does it look like for me? How does that translate to my daily life and actions? What do I want to give? What do I want to receive? How can I create that for myself or bring more of that into my life? What is missing and how can I add it? What do I have so much of that I enjoy and appreciate? How can I keep creating more? What is my personal standard of excellence with regards to this? (How often, what actions I will take, what mindsets I will adopt, for example I can choose to assume positive intent on a regularbasis)

POWER QUESTIONS