RELATING TO AT RISK YOUTH: WHAT TEACHERS CAN DO TO COMBAT THE IMPACT OF ISOLATION, ALIENATION, AND REJECTION

AMONG STUDENTS

PRESENTED TO IL CCBD

FEBRUARY, 2011

Thomas Reilly, Ed. D.treilly55@hotmail.com

• Teachers riding in limousine• What makes a school great?• Role of teachers in school success• Data-driven decision-making• Teen-agers less likely to graduate

• Introductory Information• Teachers are struggling• Damage to affective skills of students

Today, many people are asking schools to do what they used to ask

God to do.

• Folks tend to forget that children, like their toys, arrive with considerably assembly required.

• Relationship-based v. subject matter teaching

• Strategies for positive teacher-student relationships

• Laugh Parade

• Turn mistakes into lessons.• Isolation and alienation of teachers• Keep Out! No Vacancy• I want to talk to you about my son.• Well, how was your day?• First year of teaching• Mrs. Stegler• Now, Mr. Roberts…• America at crossroads

• Changing role of special educator• A teacher’s interview• Have a good day…

• Problem-solving and proactivity• Teaching v. learning• Have educators changed commensurate with

student needs?• Are you the teacher nobody likes?

• Staying current• Role of respect• …Then the cuffs can come off

• Students can disappear in the educational system

• Role of strong teacher-student bonds• Mrs. Muttner

RESPECT V. DISRESPECTMany of today’s students do not feel they

have to earn respect from teachers by acting appropriately. Many believe they should have respect because “they are who they are.”

• Teachers who are non-judgmental help themselves on the issue of respect.

• Itrinsic commitment v. control

COMMON EDUCATIONAL GOALS

• Quality teaching• Diverse needs• Develop students• Promote positives• Build harmony• Learn more or blame others• A Horse Story

AS EDUCATORS, WE HAVE POWER

As educators, we have the power toCREATE, ENHANCE, and SUSTAIN

A school climate that is healthy for students byCONNECTING with them

PERSONALLY, ACADEMICALLY, AND SOCIALLY

GUIDELINES FOR EDUCATORS

• Every child is a learner• Give dignity• Is the classroom ready• All students can learn and succeed

ISOLATION, ALIENATION, AND REJECTION DEFINED

• Isolation = the withholding or withdrawing of social support by significant others in a person’s life (Hazler and Denham, 2002)

• Alienation = when a person lacks a sense of belonging…when youth feel they do not belong in the social environment

• Rejection = a perception of the withdrawal of love and affection (Beck, 1999)

• Teen alienation• Adult apathy• Isolated, alienated, rejected youth are more

at risk• It takes a village• surprises

DIFFERENTIAL TREATMENT

• Fewer opportunities to respond• Less praise and reinforcement• More reprimands

• Problems with accumulation of risk factors• THE DILEMMA• WHAT TEACHERS MAKE• Apathy over action• Social implications of good parents• Luke Woodham

AN INTERVIEW WITH LUKE WOODHAM WHO KILLED HIS MOTHER AND TWO STUDENTS IN PEARL

MISSISSIPPI

Q Did any grown-up know how much hate you had in you?

A No.

Q What would it have taken for a grown-up to know?

A Pay attention. Just sit down and talk to me.

Continued on next slide.

AN INTERVIEW WITH LUKE WOODHAM P 2

Q What advice do you have for adults?A I think they should try to bond more with

their students…talk to them…it doesn’t have to be about anything. Just have some kind of relationship with them.

Q How would you have responded?A Well, it would have took some time before

I’d open up. If we kept talking…I would have…said everything that was going on.

LUKE WOODHAM’S DIARY

“I am not insane. I am angry. I killed because people like me are mistreated every day. I am malicious because I am miserable.”

• Student problems can be overcome• Teaching/learning process• Kim Kunkel = HATRID

HATRID A QUOTE FROM KIP KUNKEL

“My HATRrid tord humanity forced me to do what I did.”

When children experience patterns of rejection, they need teachers to claim rather than reject them.

In-service seminar

How much stress is too much?

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ALIENATIONFirst, one needs to know the characteristics…• Poor social relationships• Poor attendance• High dropout rate• Low achievement

Missing ingredient = parents?

• Educational neglect• Connecting to the community• Human relationships among students

RELATIONSHIP-DRIVEN TEACHING• Students must feel safe.• Students must feel like what they are doing has

value.• Students must feel success.• Students want to be valued.• Teachers must seek out best practices.

• Children who hate• Different perspective• Is Dennis the menace at risk? Occasionally,

he makes sense.• Rolando’s parents

• Student input is valued• Good news• Role of the brain

WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO TO PROMOTE HEALTHY, CARING REALTIONSHIPS?

• Dignity and respect• Good coping skills• Problem-solving• limits

5 STRATEGIES FOR POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS• Empathy• Trust and respect

Jon Seita• Credibility

How do educators connect?• Significance• Affective regulation

• What children want from adults• Understanding hearts and minds of our

students• Disappearing in the educational system• Most school shooters are guys• Patterns of aggressive behavior• Why do students shoot their classmates?• Valparaiso, In• Local perceptions

• Losing control of destiny• Social conditions• Medical quote

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF SCHOOL SHOOTERS

• Each planned shootings• Each was a threat BEFORE any crime was

committed• Community-based questions BEFORE a crime

was committed• Only a few of shooters were diagnosed

BEFORE the incident• Major change in significant relationship

BEFORE the shooting

• Can we expect different behaviors from at risk kids?

• Two items of control• Communicating positively with kids• Dennis the menace does not agree

Friendship friends are best part of school for

adolescents Making friends is crucial to life adjustment One friend in class is important Importance of friendship overlooked

2 IMPORTANT THINGS WE SHOULD BE DOING IN SCHOOL

• Helping our students to feel connected• Making their time in school WORTHWHILE

• What do our students want from adults?• Teachers must be the change we want to see• I quit!• Mark twain• Secret of a good sermon• Conclusion