REFUSAL SKILLS

GETTING OUT OF PERSUASIVE SITUATIONS

Persuasion Discussion With Your Partner

You will have about 1 minute per question1. Define what you feel is a persuasive situation?

2. What would the point of persuasion be?

3. In your opinion, what makes someone a good persuader? A poor persuader?

4. What types of persuasion would work best on you (humor, honesty, argument)? Why?

5. What factors make it difficult to refuse someone who is trying to persuade you to do something you may not be comfortable with?

What do these words have in common?

•AVOID

•ESCAPE

•REFUSE3 ways to avoid a persuasive situation…

PERSUASIVE SITUATIONS AVOID: RECOGNIZE WHEN & WHERE A

PERSUASIVE SITUATION COULD OCCUR. Describe some potential

persuasive situations.

ESCAPE: THINK OF ALTERNATIVES TO AVOID THE SITUATION.

What are some alternatives to your persuasive situations?

REFUSE: FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ONE OF THE ALTERNATIVES. This is the easiest part, right?

Why or why not?

Definition of Persuasive SituationA situation where communication is intended

to bring on certain beliefs or actions.

• Physical communication• Verbal communication• Non-Verbal communication

Definition of Point of Persuasion

The point during a Persuasive Situation where the potential “target” feels the pressure to change their beliefs or actions.

Influencing Factors in Refusal Skills

1. How original is it?

2. How often is it used?

3. How effective is it when the couple is in an intimate relationship?

Not tonight, I have a

headache…

Not tonight, I have a headache… Gawd,

again?!

?

USING REFUSALS:Which of these refusals are realistic?

Which would work best for you?

SAY “NO” FIRMLY

REPEAT THE REFUSAL OVER & OVER

USING REFUSALS:Which of these refusals are realistic?

Which would work best for you?

GIVE A BELIEVABLE EXCUSE

GIVE A REASON

USING REFUSALS:Which of these refusals are realistic?

Which would work best for you?

CHANGE THE SUBJECT

SUGGEST AN ALTERNATIVE ACTIVITY

I really like this, but I think we should go to

the basketball game so we don’t go too far.

Sigh…He’s

probably right.

Hey!Before you forget again, go ask your

parents if you can go to my cabin this weekend.

USING REFUSALS:Which of these refusals are realistic?

Which would work best for you?

IGNORE THE PROBLEM/ACT DUMB

REVERSE THE PRESSURE

Hey, you’re cute! Come over here!

What’s your name??

Senior girl whois stumbling

drunk & annoying…

Dude, don’t look over there, she’s

talking to me.

Let’s go before she comes over

here.

Why do you keep asking me to do sexual stuff with you when you know I’m not ready for it?

Can’t you respect what I want?

USING REFUSALS:Which of these refusals are realistic?

Which would work best for you?

DELAY YOUR DECISION

TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU HAVE MADE YOUR DECISION

I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided that I’m not ready to have

sex yet.

I’m not comfortable

making a decision yet.

Can we talk about this later?

Effective Characteristics of Refusal Skills…

1. Build or continue the friendship/ relationship.You may end the relationship, just do it respectfully.

2. Do not embarrass the other person or yourself.

3. Need to be reasons, not excuses or “whatever” lines.

REMEMBER GIRLS & BOYS…

HAVE YOUR REFUSAL SKILLS

IN PLACE!

It’s cheesy, I know…

But you need to know what you’re

going to say before your in a persuasive

situation!!!

Hook-Up “LINES”• Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? You have “FINE” written all over

you.• Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out.• Is your daddy a thief? Then who stole the stars & put them in your

eyes?• Can I flirt with you?• Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only 10 I see!• Are your feet tired? ‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all

night!• Hey, Angel? Am I dead? ‘Cause this is heaven standing here with

you…• Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?• I lost my number, can I have yours?• Hi. You’ll do.• Do you have a map? ‘Cause I’m lost in your eyes.• Well, here I am. What are your 2 other wishes?• I bet you $20 you’ll turn me down.• If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?• Did you eat your Lucky Charms? Because you look magically

delicious!• Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?? I don’t know either,

but it’s enough to break the ice.• Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.