1 Redemption in Love Rudewaan Arendse Copyright 2013 Rudewaan Arendse All rights reserved. Description This is a collection of poems written by a warrior poet who falls in love with a noblewoman.Theyareforbiddenforeachotherandcanonlymeetduring stolenmoments.Hetravelstovariousworldsandexploresdifferentinnerand outer terrains as his feelings for her gets stronger and he laments the fact that he cannotbewithher.Inspiredandfrustrated,hewritestoheraseriesofpoems expressing his love and desire for her, reflecting on his past, life, wandering and wondering - seeking answers. 2 My Pain The quest of a lifetime Seeking the sun in the cold To find what my heart yearns for To look into her eyes See what cannot be described Be moved by her And know she can never be mine In the shadows of the trees Our words swayed. Waltzing - the dance that will never be Hoping she moved because she was moved. There by the trees Having toSlay the doves of enchantment Reign in the currents of emotion Hold back the tides of passion Dowse the flames of desire Wanting to stoke the imaginings of what could have been On the edge - abyss or communion The pain Of life in the wake of a dream 3 My Redemption In the place between dream and reality The Lady Keeper and he Wandering Spirit take rest Oasis of my life There is so much I need to share with you The words of this language are limited I want to talk with you in the language with no words Where the language of prayer and the language of the body is one We will pray in the language of the body I must go on a journey From the shores where the two oceans meet To the Gates of Damascus and the Plains of Arafat Follow caravans across deserts to the Cedars in the land of Gibran Across the sea is the Holy Land By the waters of Aqaba I shall wait for you It is rumoured that there I shall find an ancient Order of Holy Warriors Who live in the shade of the sword This is where I want to beA warrior guided spiritually To guide a Lady Keeper Hear my voice in the wind Feel me in the rain See me with the clouds Find me by the sea Witness my prints where you strive Smile at the moon 4 At night I stroll the streets of Amman Jasmine air I breathe you Oasis of my life I marvel at your airs and graces Captivated by your womanly whims I bubble with joy in your presence Butterflies flutter in my heart The boy in me misses the girl in you You tease and entice me The woman in you arouses the man in me With the scarf I touch you Give me your heartYou have mine Wear my ring 5 Pearls of Remembrance Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script Asleep in the bed that I yearn to share In your dreams I shall find you There we shall commune Gaze into my past Ive sat at the tables of the underworld Plotted with the underground Walked ganglands Fought for my life Defended family and friends, and a few strangers too Sealed the fate of people and progenies Met spiritual leaders and resistance movements Seen parcels of dead babies stacked like groceries Been threatened with torture and execution in foreign lands Surrounded by commandos hell-bent on killing me Infiltrated vigilantes and strategised with those tasked to stop or kill them Shot in the chest Felled by the bullets of my oppressors Battered by the consequences of my decisions In the arena of life, I was on my knees I stood up Clawed my way through the morass I took off Ive planned in war rooms Postured in boardrooms Discussed in meeting rooms 6 Cut and thrust in business, intellectualised in the halls of academia Reflected and meditated on matters of life and death Survived encounters with beasts and forces of nature Drifted in open oceans Attacked by guard dogs Surprised by a cobra Visited by its like Alone in the sea Face to face with the jaws and the black eyes of a shark Entered waters of death with bloodied and tenderized hands Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script Please believe me Dont deny me the pain I am going through On a leafTwo crystals of light in a dewdrop Sparkling brilliance Basking in the warmth of the morning light Opening up Cultivating the soil of our hearts - private gardens of remembrance You and I fertilising a bed Sowing seeds for the future - impregnating A nursery of plant lings Oh mother of our pearls I was hailed by the councils of war Embraced the creed of the warrior - brothers in arms Ive made bombs, handled weaponry Had knives on my throat, guns in my back 7 I kept the company of freedom fighters, defenders of democracy, Gangsters, killers, upholders of the law -- fighters Who was once my foe is now my friend Who was once my comrade, now seeks my demise Covert operations, Clandestine activities, subterfuge Ive done them all Iron fist in the velvet glove Ive dined with kings, presidents and ambassadors, movie stars, business moguls, religious leader Ive visited the annals of power from the West to the East Impressive mansions to humble abodes amidst flowing streams from snowy foothills of the Alborz North and South Palaces, Union Buildings, Whites House, Parliament Shrines to its prophets and disciples In gathering clouds Ive set out to ride the swells of that which I must confront Ive come close to death many times I am no longer scared of dying I am concerned about dying, as I should -a true servant of our LORD I have wings, Im flying Im soaring Honourable lady These are the paraphernalia of my past that will haunt me into my future I cannot do what I do today had I not done what I did in my past 8 I know now that I had to go into the lair of the beast How can I fight an enemy I do not know? I had to go through these trials knowing I may loose my soul Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script In a life of howling cold you are the muse of my soul In our secret world I sit - bewitched by your charms Your hips sway, I loose myself Secret societies, think tanks and brain trusts A Brave of the Sioux, Brother Bear of the Navaho, Warrior of the Court ofIsilo - King of the Zulu Security to a mufti from a foreign land on a dark and windy night Hosted as benefactor of the people by tribal chiefs Prized bulls have been slaughtered in my honour Bare feet, sore and bleeding feet I grew up on the mean streets of the Cape Flats Don Quixote of Le Plain Digging for gold in the backyard Building rafts that will take me to faraway lands Spaceships to cross the galaxies Vacations of working with steel In factories, the dockyards, in boats under the water There is dignity in work This fabric of mine The fibre of my being was stretched This is my past, I swear by our LORD Ive corresponded with Special Forces They taught me that if all look hopeless 9 You wait The situation will change Dont move or make your move Be patient Lady Keeper I am waiting for you I am fighting in the arena of my life Yet, Through all this, I am a man of peace A man of hope A man in awe of beauty I am a man I do not remember the words of the Sacred Script In all my journeys, wherever I find myself I see the clouds submit to the will of our LORD The moon - my constant travelling companion I greet them Peace Be Upon You You are doing the bidding of our LORD Trees, flowers and butterflies by the pool Below a crystal clear waterfall play the children The honey of my life A newborn baby Life so fragile, yet so strong Ive celebrated with angels The nectar of my soul 10 To those out there You greed after a hamlet, I give you a mansion You sell your soul for a horse, I give you a chariot You barter your honour and dignity for money I give you mountains of diamonds and gold I walk away The more I can afford, the more I will deny myself Except The Lady keeper of the Sacred Script She I need to possess Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script When I miss you, I shall travel to the land of our rapsody There I shall sit by the lamp of our treasured memories In an alcove of light, shrouded by the warmth between us - around us Your eyes, brown coals in a face of ancient Persian beauty Framed by floating hair, your smile illuminates your essence With our threads of disclosures and words we weave a carpet of silk The pride of the masters of Qom and Kashan Outshining the magnificence of Zollanvari A tapestry for a life together By the trees A house in a meadow with a stream Time stand still, space collapses, reality fracture Your presence resonates around me - in me Ensconced in each other 11 I dont know what the garb of the spiritual one is. I do not wear the cloak of the anointed These words our from the deepest recesses of my heart My body, my limbs, my senses cannot understand, translate, articulate or express that which is inside of me Lady of honour Oh face who ignited a thousand wars You unleashed something in me You ask me that which can only be answered through being with you Bonded in body and in prayer Oh nightingale from the land of the gilded cage Thou wings have been clipped Let me caress you with the balm of my touch Let me hold you Come fly with me Through the calling of our LORD Ive walked where prophets walked Prayed in Al Aqsa Shoulder to shoulder in the Ebrahimi mosque in Al Khalil Looked down the well of Yusuf Stood at the tombs of Abraham and Shuaib Raged silently on the square of Salahudeen I pray that my LORD forgives me The two sacred cities are safe I cannot find peace Al Aqsa is in need She is crying 12 Perhaps my soul knows that she is the gateway to where it belongs Til the end of my time on earth shall I strive for Al Aqsa So shall my progeny Our progeny Oh lady who teases, lady who flirts Oh lady who have the sight of the unseen Who sees through me Who senses that which is not spoken My spirit soared far and wide, but Ive soared alone I am yearning for a partner New voyages of discovery. To journey there and in distant lands Seeking treasures of life along the path of our LORD to the Court of Books The contents of thy bosom is forever sealed in the heart of the wandering spirit Soaring amongst the stars, on the edge of the universe Ive stood in the rows with those of blue light Glimpsed the beasts of the bottomless pit Battled with demons of smokeless fire Ive been banished by the curse of a mother A drifting father Fighting a brother Poison-laced comments of a sister Feuding families My roots bludgeoned and ripped from the soil of its nurturance by these experiences It chips at my soul In defence of those near and dear to me Ive erupted in violence 13 Never proud Certain things in life need to be done I love and defend those close to me Heaven help the other one who hurts or threaten them They shall unleash a force ruthless in executing Trained an hone to[perfection in its craft Tempered with mercy I am afraid of me There are things in life that make good men cry Tears on the cheeks, Tears in the heart Woman who hold the Sacred Spirit Lady of noble lineage I am but an ordinary man, borne of common folk Soaring over the fields, beyond the fate of the peasant Eclipsing merchants and feudal lords Oh spirited woman The path to who I am - what I am - is a dangerous path Scented with the bittersweet fragrance of loneliness True spirit of a woman Iknow not the uncharted waters of what lies ahead Blizzards, gales, torrents, there will be Yet I see with the eye of my heart a rainbow On the horizon, a dawning Through the storm we must go St Elmos fire is burning in me Be my companion Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script Soar with me, on the wings of our dreams Oh flower on the tree by the bridge of Esfahan 14 Thy fragrance enchants the butterflies We stroll over the bridges connecting hearts In souks, avenues and alleys. Through the Sacred Gate of Shiraz Wade in the meadows on the foot of the Zagros Explore the tombs of Darius and kings of old Dwell in the halls, between the pillars of ancient Persepolis See the true Aryan As we gaze over the plains of Yazd On the grass of Zand we delight in the flavours of saffron We will fill our chest with the treasures we found in the land of Persia As we make our way to our next destination Along the path to the Holy Courts of Accounts By the trees I shall build you a sanctuary Where you can impart that which you are keeper of Let me dwell with you and I shall be your keeper till the end of our time Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script I am but a mere wandering spirit - at war with myself - at war with the world I experience the tranquillity of the prayer mat I feel the solidarity of the mosque I hover with the recitation of the Sacred Script I find my LORD in the struggle of life On the frontlines of battles, in the trenches of war - in the cause of our LORD I come alive Come fight by my side 15 Thy hold the Sacred Scripture inside thee You are the keeper, I am your defender Together we blaze a trail into eternity In the balmy breeze I hear the whisperings of the bristling leaves There by the trees Oh fragrant warmth that kindles my being You are with me when we are apart You consume me when we are together Without the key The wandering spirit cannot enter the Lady Keeper of the Sacred Script Ive waited a lifetime to find the lady I shall wait a lifetime for the ladys hand Lady Keeper Be true to thy calling In the early hours of the morning Thy teach, thy touch the future Through the night Ive journeyed with my words I seek what I found in you Rain Queen Come dwell by the trees in my heart Lady Keeper of the Scared Script When the dream ended, the heavens cried Marry Me 16 My Angst I am waiting for words For word from her On a moonlit night By the pond of my memories She strokes my spirit In her neck I soar By her throat I throb Her scent lifts my being Her fragrance lingers A potion in the vessel of my heart Seeking a word by her Silently gasping at a word about her These are my words inspired by her For her My body denied where my spirit has fused Through time and space I hope these words reach her Touch her Dear Lady These tender words are from my heart Of my heart They are my heart These words are for you The tide of life will carry me along In the oceans of my future I shall look for you 17 On a lonely beach I wander Wonder I wait I am soaring into the sunset I feel so alone sometimes Are you thinking of me? My chest wants to burst That which is inside me overflows Tears in the eyes of my heart I miss you Our moments in the present are the memories of our future Your absence in the now makes the history of me incomplete A void in my future I want to make every moment with you last forever Virgin Spirit A voyager I am Exploring your body In your valley I meander Taste your stream Slake from the fountain of your essence Revel in your moist warmth Rapturous abandonment A lifetime together One in body and spirit Different voyages A wounded soul running wild Respite I seek 18 After we pray I lay my head on your bosom Thy honour I shall defend No shame shall I bring upon you Your neck, the Lilliputian plains of your bosom The seat of the Holy Script I approached What I experienced there cannot be described in words I took a breathe of your spirit Mixed with the scent of the woman you Perhaps one day I can share with you in the language without words Many a path have I travelled I know the journey to your heart is along a path that I must find When I find that path I must travel it Once Ive travelled it, at the door of your heart I must have the key The key to unlock the treasures of your heart Virgin heart Quest of a lifetime Ill do over. Many lifetimes When I lose my way, your face shall be my beacon Should I falter, the thought of possessing you spurs me on When I doubt, prayer shall remind me When I tire, a lifetime of your scent invigorates me Hoping there is a rainbow for me Sunset I am in the studio On the Gabbe I miss you 19 The torment of living amidst the ruins of a life that was meant to be A life that could have been I bear in silence A word from you Mist in my eyes, a soul in mourning A lonely man pursuing a dream My quest for your heart Recitation of the Holy Book brings me near to you In the Holy Script I find you Here and in faraway lands Through the music of the world you travel with me The pain of my life is nothing like the pain of knowing that you may not be with me You asked me once if I see the pain in your eyes Can you see the pain in my words? In the dark of the night When the world is asleep I miss you the most Ache for you The chant of the Holy Script Soothes my pain with distant echoes of your voice During the day I am pulled to the places and spaces weve been At night I lay awake, thinking of you Wondering what is in your heart and mind Bring for me from your journey of reflection Words to stoke the hearth of my heart Whatever you decide, be true to yourself 20 The Lady is with child Words engraved on my soul My lady is with child Seed of the unwanted planted in the soil of my desire A child whose destiny is written in the stars - the sign of the father To be borne of a union of the spirit of the Lady Keeper and a Warrior A Spirit Child Conceived in the sanctuary of a dream Where the mother glides in the arms of the father Destiny has overtaken a dream Elation day and night I long to stroke the child in the sanctuary of your womb A sanctuary I must build The lady I must protect She is now the Keeper of the Holy Script and the bearer of a child My Child I cling to the dreams of a great spiritual leader The dreams of yesterday are the realities of today and the dreams of today are the realities of tomorrow Keeper of the Sacred Script Lady who carries the Spirit Child Rhythm of my heartShould I receive my calling before you decide Tell our story With words of mystery These lines from the pages of my heart Through the annals of time For generations to celebrate 21 I love you Words you have spoken I heard the words you have not spoken Your scent I shall bury I read the lines from the Chapter of Light Thank you for allowing me a brief spell on your bosom I am sorry Please forgive me Pray for me