REDEFINING POSSIBLE - Southwestern Consulting

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REDEFINING POSSIBLE

© Southwestern Coaching - Do Not Redistribute REDEFINING POSSIBLE

QUESTIONS

• What holds you back from putting in 100%?

• What are your biggest insecurities and fears?

• How is fear affecting you?

• When have you defied the odds?

• What is your personal purpose as a leader?

• When have you looked fear in the eye and conquered it?

• When have you given 100% and come out on top?

• Do you have any goals that you feel are out of your reach?

PRINCIPLES

• The Power of Confidence Anchors

• The fear of success is real.

• Focus + Ownership = Vision

• Faith + Belief = Confidence

• Attract + Manage + Lead = Impact

• Top recruiters have a recruiting system.

DISCUSSION

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Do you give 100% effort every day? If you can say yes, congratulations—you’ve arrived. If the answer is no, why do you think that is?

The only way to gain power over what is holding you back is by identifying it. For many of us, it’s fear. Our thoughts might include, What if I fail? What will people think? Or even, What if I succeed? Then what? This fear of success may be harder to recognize, but it’s very real.

Success means change, and our minds are conditioned to resist change. It’s uncharted territory, which used to mean risking survival. Success also usually means more people depend on you and can be interpreted as more pressure. The trickiest part about this fear is we often don’t even realize we’re self-sabotaging. We make pesky excuses as to why we couldn’t finish something. It might sound something like: My goal was just too big and I did my best. Or, I just don’t have enough time.

What if you could consistently put in 100% of everything that you have and never quit? What could you accomplish? When you believe you can win and give it 100%, that’s exactly what happens.

What if you could stop worrying what other people think about you? What if you could stop worrying about failing? What if you could stop being afraid of success?

What do you think would be possible?

In the book The Obstacle Is the Way, author Ryan Holiday explains that the way to get over your obstacles is to be thankful for your challenges.

Think about past challenges you have faced. Did you come out stronger on the other side?

You can use these experiences to redefine possible.

OVERCOMING FEAR

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Confidence anchors are a way of thinking or a feeling that can be built on. Specifically, confidence anchors are events that we can look back on and think, I overcame that obstacle. I was afraid, I did it anyway, and I was successful.

A confidence anchor comes from a past challenging situation where we might have gotten beaten down, but then we got back up again and fought with everything we had to overcome it. (The “Becoming an Unstoppable Force” article at the end of this module covers this concept in depth.)

In order to use your confidence anchor to build strength in other difficult situations, you need to focus on how you felt when you were winning. You need to anchor your emotions. Ask yourself: How did it feel when I did something that took me out of my comfort zone? How did it feel when I looked fear right in the eyes, but I did it anyway? Maybe it was when you got your company out of debt. Maybe it was when you made your first million. Maybe it was when you finished your first marathon. If you can harness that feeling, it will propel you forward. You can re-create that physiological state by remembering how it felt in a situation where you were confident. It’s a huge mindset shift you can refer back to over and over again.

What has beaten you down repeatedly? What is something that when you think about doing it, it scares you? Bravery has nothing to do with not being scared. Bravery has everything to do with being scared and doing it anyway. And every time you overcome those obstacles, you have another confidence anchor to drive you forward.

CONFIDENCE ANCHORS


REDLINING

How do you know when you’re giving 100%? When have you actually redlined? For racecar drivers, redlining is maximizing your RPM—pushing the limit and going as fast as you can possibly go. You don’t know what’s possible for your business until you have redlined. So many times we get comfortable and complacent, which causes us to never max out our potential. Many leaders are trying to work less. That’s why there is a book called The 4-Hour Work Week.

Obviously, you can’t redline all the time. That leads to burnout. But you can redline for a season. What would happen if you put the pedal to the metal for a quarter or a year?

Redefining possible is all about discovering your potential, not worrying about any of the risks, and giving it 100%. Using confidence anchors to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals is how you begin to redefine possible.

CONFIDENCE ANCHORS continued

When was the last time you redlined? If you can’t think of a time, now can be that time. What did that or will that look like?


The strength of our endurance is in direct proportion to the

clarity of our vision.

FOCUS

Would you consider focus to be your number-one strength? If you’re like most people, your answer is no.

Yet, focus creates power. Did you ever learn how to make fire by using the light of the sun and a magnifying glass? The focus of that light is so intense, it creates fire. What would happen if you could harness the power of your mind in the same way? If you could focus the power of your mind on a singular goal, what do you think would be possible?

Your mind works like a muscle. If you practice, it gets stronger. You can grow your ability to concentrate simply by concentrating more. And as the skill develops, it continues to get easier and easier.

You can achieve any goal through harnessing the power of your mind without losing focus over a long period of time. People who are able to accomplish this skill can accomplish anything. They don’t let obstacles deter them. They power through with focus.

Many people want things to happen for them quickly. They want that magic pill. We’re conditioned by society to believe we can get rich quick. The reality is that the most successful people are the people who can focus on goals over a long period of time.

FOCUS + OWNERSHIP = VISION

“The grass is green where you water it. That’s just how grass works.” DAVE BROWN, SENIOR PARTNER, SOUTHWESTERN COACHING


OWNERSHIP

Focus isn’t worth anything if you don’t know what to focus on. To have a strong vision, you must have ownership. When you take ownership of your life, you do what you say you are going to do, you’re accountable, you don’t blame others, and you don’t make excuses. You recognize and keep yourself honest about past failures. After all, if you don’t own your past and your present, how can you have a clear vision of the future?

Ownership is self-honesty. “I own that I didn’t do my part or fell short—that’s on me!” When you own something, you’re honest, and that builds trust.

Trust is the one of the most important ingredients in a relationship, whether that’s with your kids, your spouse, your coworkers, your clients, your prospects, or your team. We all want people to trust us more, because that helps us win more business and have better relationships.

So take responsibility, take ownership, and become the person who does everything you say you’re going to do. Create your new normal, and your life will feel larger than you can even imagine.

VISION

Vision is the gasoline that will fuel your success. People who have enormous vision don’t see obstacles as huge barriers to overcome. Obstacles are just part of the journey. If your vision is big enough, the obstacles will shrink in comparison.

Do you have a vision for the next year? The next five years? Ten years? How about 30 years? What if you took the mental effort to map out exactly how you would accomplish a 30-year goal? How many people do you think are doing that? What could a plan like that do for your business?

You cannot get to a destination you cannot see.

Most people who accomplish great things—things many may have thought were impossible—do so by focusing on and taking ownership of a clear, long-term vision. (For more on defining your vision, see the Elite Edge Vision Mastery module.)

FOCUS + OWNERSHIP = VISION continued


When did you stop believing?

FAITH

Without faith, your vision won’t be a reality. When we were kids, we believed we could do anything. Do you remember being six or seven years old and you believed you were capable of anything and never even considered that you might fail? When did we stop believing? At some point, limits started creeping in and faith started taking a backseat.

Nothing great has ever been done in this world without faith. Every world-shaper throughout history shares the common trait of having an extraordinary amount of faith. Faith is necessary to accomplish large goals that have never been achieved before. You have to have faith to lead people into an area that is unknown. And when it comes down to it, faith conquers fear. Faith works best when aligned with vision. You can have faith in other people, in a mission, or in your calling. When you have faith, you’re not focused on yourself. People often use the expression “leap of faith.” It’s like you leap over your doubts or lack of trust, acting on your internal convictions, to start living into faith. We should only take the leap if it’s aligned with our vision—whether that’s going after a massive goal, starting a business, or taking a financial risk, such as taking a trip or selling a house.

BELIEF

Belief is more concrete and tangible than faith, like having a set of principles. Beliefs are in the here and now—in the minutia and your daily steps.

Your beliefs are your map, and your faith is your compass.

FAITH + BELIEF = CONFIDENCE


Beliefs are a product of our lives. When you are born, you believe anything is possible, and you learn how to do incredible things, like walking and talking. You believed you could do it, so you did.

Society often conditions us to be “normal.” College conditions us to work a nine-to-five corporate job. Commercials tell us to get rich quick or lose weight instantly by taking a pill. All of this places limiting beliefs on what we can do. And we have to be careful—the decisions we all make are based on what we believe to be normal. Part of the problem is that people just float through life, letting everybody else construct their belief system. We let social media or the news tell us how things should be. Sometimes our beliefs are whimsical instead of solid. And that’s like having a foundation made out of sand.

Limits begin where beliefs end.

For your beliefs to really make a difference in your life, they have to be stronger and better formed than that. Beliefs help you to be innovative and challenge the status quo. They can help you do twice as much as other people, and they can help the people around you see what they are truly capable of doing, too.

Even in the face of setbacks, belief is at the heart of innovative work. To be in touch with your sense of the possibilities, know your own barriers, be honest about your goals, and stay positive even if you get derailed.

CONFIDENCE

Your belief system is the principles and values that are hardwired into who you are. When you have strong beliefs, you have strong convictions. When you have strong convictions, you have unwavering confidence. When you have unwavering confidence, you can do bold things. And when you act boldly, you get results. Having confidence can help you break through limits and redefine possible.

Some people believe you’re born confident or you’re not. It’s something you just have or you don’t. But this isn’t true. Psychologists have proven you can increase your confidence over time.*

Confidence can make you feel like you can move mountains, but the wrong kind of confidence won’t take you very far.

*“The Essence of Confidence,” Hendrie Weisinger Ph.D., Psychology Today, September 1, 2015

FAITH + BELIEF = CONFIDENCE continued


Confidence can be categorized into three different types: false, conditional, and unconditional.

False Confidence

With false confidence, people talk a big game but it is not authentic. False confidence can also be seen in negative self-talk. Everybody has false confidence at some point. We all have been in that “fake it ‘til you make it” mode, no matter who we are. But it’s the worst place to be. It’s when your confidence is the shakiest. And you need to quickly get out of false confidence mode if you ever find yourself there.

Conditional Confidence

Most people have conditional confidence, which is based on attaching your self-worth to a particular result. If you have a big day, a big month, or a big quarter in terms of revenue, then you might walk around with swagger. But if you have a day, a week, or a year where you don’t hit your goals, and you don’t see the results you were hoping to get, then you feel like a loser. Conditional confidence is not just seen in business—it’s part of life. People often attach their self-worth to an uncontrollable result.

Unconditional Confidence

Since the beginning of time, the most successful people who have ever lived have all shared one trait: unconditional confidence. This is what you want to strive to achieve, every single day. This is the best kind of confidence, as it is based on your beliefs and habits. With unconditional confidence, you are aware that sometimes you’ll do well, but sometimes you won’t. You know that your pain and your struggles are temporary. You know that if you stay focused on your beliefs and your principles, and you stick to your habits, you will persevere. And you just don’t quit. In fact, developing unconditional confidence will kill the quit in you.

With unconditional confidence, you are able to become braver and less worried. This is because you let go of things you have no control over. Basically, unconditional confidence says to focus on the three things you can control: your attitude, which includes your beliefs and self-talk; your activities, or habits; and your schedule. (For more about controlling the controllables, see the Elite Edge Executive Vision Mastery module.)

When you are unconditionally confident, you can pick up a phone or start a meeting without worrying about what people think of you. You’re not worried about messing up, and you’re not worried about the results. In fact, you’re probably not worrying at all. Why? Because you have confidence—true confidence, born from knowing your foundation in your beliefs, skills, and habits has prepared you and you are truly doing your best.

FAITH + BELIEF = CONFIDENCE continued


5 STEPS TO UNCONDITIONAL CONFIDENCE

We have five steps that you can take in order to develop the perspective that will help bring you unconditional confidence:

STEP 1: Be aware.The first step is to be aware of your current perspective. Is it already positive, or does it need some tweaking? Perspective matters. We often pick up a perspective early in life and don’t check-in as adults to determine whether it still works for us. Most people get so caught up in their emotions that they quickly lose sight of perspective, but reality is what you make it.

STEP 2: Identify.The second step is to identify other, more positive perspective options that exist. You may need more information or education to identify and take on new perspectives. This can be gained by reading books about positive perspective or by getting a coach. Traveling to third-world countries can give you a more global perspective. Understanding most problems are first-world problems helps provide perspective.

Ask yourself, “Do I have an overall positive perspective? What is my perspective toward myself, my significant other, or my job?” If your perspective is mostly negative, try to understand that it is possible to experience other, more positive perspectives.

STEP 3: Play.The third step is to play with these different perspectives. Try on a few to see what works for you.

If your previous perspective was, “Man, I’m lazy and I’m not smart,” what is available to you with this perspective is typically depression and anxiety. Try on something positive instead: “I’m always learning! I’m growing. I have humility, and I’m a good person. I really believe in good things, and I want what’s best for everyone.” When you start to see yourself from a new angle, your whole perspective shifts.


5 STEPS TO UNCONDITIONAL CONFIDENCE continued

STEP 4: Choose.Step four is to realize that you have a choice. Yes, you have the ability to choose your perspective.

If you previously chose a negative one, you can consciously choose to take on a more positive perspective. You can do that, not just in this moment, but through reading, how you frame your self-talk, and through the people you choose to associate with, particularly the five people who are closest to you.

STEP 5: Be consistent.Finally, the fifth step is to be consistent. These are sustainable principles that create behavioral change, and they can change people from the inside out. You’ll need regular check-ins to make sure you’re sticking with your new perspective. In this process, we usually do not go straight to change, but go back and forth. When we’re stressed, we might go back to the old perspective. But know that’s normal and know that you can get back on track quickly, with the positive perspectives you have learned.

Changing your perspective takes effort; let’s not kid ourselves. Just like a great athlete has to go to the gym and lift weights, you will need to practice as well.

To help with that, write down three things you are going to work on. If you want to have a more positive perspective of yourself, to raise your self-esteem and build your confidence, then you can write down three positive things about yourself at the end of each day. This helps reinforce your perspective, because you’re paying attention to it throughout the day. You’re conscious of your positives, you’re looking for them, because you know that you’re going to write them down at the end of the day. Then, when you go to bed, you will feel peaceful and secure.


5 STEPS TO UNCONDITIONAL CONFIDENCE continued

These tasks all take work, but the payoff is mind-blowing. The lens through which you view the world will change. The new perspective will start to take hold, and you will experience positive changes. And once you start to feel your new, optimistic perspective, you’ll activate the reward center in your brain, and you’ll want to feel those positive emotions again and again.

What three perspectives can you work on starting today?


When you are focused, you concentrate, and you have vision, as well as belief and faith, people will want to join your team—just because you’re being the type of person they want to become. They will see something in you that they want. And they will want to become part of whatever you’re doing.

Now, what really matters is to be around like-minded people who think and believe the way you do. But how will you attract those people?

ATTRACT

As your company grows, personally managing everyone becomes difficult. You’ll probably notice this starts around the time you have 20 team members. You’ll need to add layers of other leaders, and you might not be the person doing most of the recruiting. This important task of building the company falls to the hands of your recruiters. Choose and train them carefully, knowing that your company will always be as good as the people you recruit.

When you think about it, the number-one recruiters are your next layer of leadership. So you always have to be not only personally recruiting but also developing the next layer of leaders. Invest significant amounts of time into the personal development of duplicating the layers of leadership—that’s what the biggest companies in the world do right. Our ability to attract like-minded people, or star performers, is in direct proportion to people seeing something in us that they gravitate to or hope to emulate. The first thing is confidence, and the second is competence.

When you’re wired to be selfish, if you’re an egomaniac or a narcissist, then you’re going to attract other narcissists that just want to look in the mirror all day and talk about how awesome they are. And if you’re greedy, you’re going to attract greedy people. If you are a liar, you’re going to attract people who are not honest.

However, when you’re the kind of leader who wants to help people and build something that will last, you’re also going to attract the type of people with the same goals. It’s simple: Your A+ people will always attract other A+ people.

ATTRACT + MANAGE + LEAD = IMPACT

“Personal accolades shift from success to significance when you start focusing on others.”RON ALFORD, SENIOR PARTNER, SOUTHWESTERN COACHING


MANAGE

If you learn to manage your time, you can achieve your vision of being the kind of person you want to be, whether it’s a better leader, businessperson, parent, etc. Maybe you want to be a philanthropist, buy a second home, or expand your business. Whatever dream you want to pursue, careful management of your schedule and efforts will get you there.

Anyone who has been successful at the highest level has been good at management. Without good management, too many important things would have slipped through the cracks, like having a firm grasp of details—such as activity ratios and schedules—so you know how to best help your team. Here’s the thing: The numbers never lie but, unfortunately, people do.

To achieve a goal, you have to start by breaking it down. When you look at your schedule, do you see an hour, or do you see all the possibilities of what you can get done in that hour? When you think about an hour or a minute and what’s possible to do with it, it’s really in your head.

Most people live in a world where they are reactive instead of proactive about time. Every single activity needs to be accounted for in your schedule. You would think you’d feel overwhelmed, but instead you feel free. Not knowing what you’re going to do next is more stressful than knowing exactly what you’re going to do with every minute. (For more about managing your time, see the Elite Edge Empowering Leaders module and the Manager’s Edge Time Management for Leaders module.)

LEAD

The leader is the person in the room who, when they speak, people listen. A leader is also the person who inspires the team to action, who has the best track record, and who offers incredible insight.

The only way we can equip our team with the necessary tools to be successful is to show the way. A good leader is kind, fair, and open to other people’s ideas and concerns. You are focused on your team, and you are serving them. You truly listen to what they have to say, and you treat them with respect, dignity, and value—no matter what numbers they’re bringing in.

ATTRACT + MANAGE + LEAD = IMPACT continued


A great leader brings out the best in other people by seeing them not for who they are in this moment, but for who they can become. A staple ingredient for a leader is having true enthusiasm for another person’s growth. You may see something in people that they don’t even see in themselves. This helps other people overcome complacency, break belief barriers, and create a new normal because your confidence becomes their confidence. Your conviction in them is transparent. You believe in this person so much, and your belief is unwavering.

People respond to that kind of leadership. Your team will see how you feel about them. Your unwavering belief makes them go out and accomplish amazing things. They’ll follow you into the trenches, not just because of your great sales record but because of how much you genuinely care.

We call this person a positive leader, a true leader, or an A leader. True leaders:

• Fill the biggest need. The leader should be the one who solves the toughest problems and who is

selfless for longer than most people would be willing to endure.• Catch people doing things right. You encourage your team, and you don’t judge or criticize them. You

consistently and specifically praise people because you want to show the people you lead what they’re doing right daily. When something goes wrong, we use criticism sparingly but effectively.

• Push aside ego. When you realize you don’t always have to keep up appearances, you and

your team are better off. Instead, you can be open to new ideas. And the best leaders in the world are great at asking questions and listening. If you do it right, you’ll draw the greatness out of your people.

• Lead by example. When was the last time you got in the trenches? When was the last time you

were on the front line selling your product or service? Management through meetings and conference calls is limited. One day in the field is worth a thousand meetings.

IMPACT

When you can attract people and you are prepared to lead and manage them, you build an impact that brings everyone together and changes the course of their lives. We’re altering something and helping someone get back on track with their dreams, their goals, their finances, other relationships, their business success, or whatever it is for that situation.



Another way to look at it is that we are providing perspective. So many people don’t realize that they’re getting spoon-fed other people’s perspectives their whole lives, whether they like it or not. Typically it’s the media, their family, their friends—negative perspectives can come from all directions. When someone helps alter their way of thinking, they have a paradigm shift, and they change their perspective.

Team-building is the most challenging and impactful thing you can dedicate your life to doing. Nothing makes more of an impact than pouring your life into a team member to help them focus on the right principles. Then in turn, they go out and help other people live a better life by the right principles.

Here’s the thing: You can’t just choose to have impact. Instead, impact chooses you. It should feel like a calling. But you need to be open to the message.

Ask yourself, were you put on Earth to help others? Are you here to lighten their loads? Are you here to inspire them? When you feel the purpose of the impact you want to have, do you believe in it? Can you get people fired up about this?



You have a calling, which is vision, to motivate you to follow through and master all of the details. You have resilience, hope, and a heart to serve—which is faith at its most indestructible. And you have impact, which is drawing people to you and giving you a team to support you while you inspire and guide them. You know that at the end of the day, you can have all the money, widgets, and trophies in the world, but they won’t give you one lick of joy outside of the the impact you’ve made.

From there, no limits can hold you back.

VISION + CONFIDENCE + IMPACT = REDEFINING POSSIBLE

Remember, limits have been looming all of our lives. How many times have been we told “no,” “you can’t go there,” or “you can’t do that”? Since day one, pretty much. When we were young we didn’t understand, and now we know better than to listen. Somewhere along the line, as an adult with a free mind, we gain freedom through redefining what really is possible.

Instead of feeling gripped by limits, feel the freedom of your strong and innovative ways.

As Muhammad Ali once said, “Impossible is not a fact.” And we agree! What someone calls “impossible” is just that—one person’s opinion. We believe that impossible is potential, impossible is temporary, and impossible is nothing. In fact, impossible is not even a declaration. Instead, it’s a dare.

REDEFINING POSSIBLE


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ACTION ITEMS


READ

• Read the articles at the end of this module. Discuss them with your Elite Edge coach.

DEFINE

• Define one confidence anchor that you can reference when you are in challenging situations. Get in the habit of calling it to mind daily.

LEAD

• Lead your leaders in becoming excellent recruiters.

CREATE

• Create a recruiting checklist as a standard for everyone in your company to use during the recruiting process. Consult with your Elite Edge coach for ideas and best practices.

RECOMMENDED READING

• Review this module’s recommended reading: Redefining Possible by Dustin Hillis and Ron Alford; The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

ACTION ITEMS

i© Southwestern Coaching - Do Not Redistribute REDEFINING POSSIBLE

BY DUSTIN HILLIS, CEO of Southwestern Family of Companies and Senior Partner of Southwestern Coaching

An event took place during high school that set in motion a change in the way I think about what is possible. Up until that point, I was never in the top echelon of athletics, grades, or really anything at all. I was just a normal kid who did not believe anything was possible. I had a limiting belief.

MY CONFIDENCE-ANCHOR EVENT

I started wrestling in the eighth grade and I was pretty good, but not the best. During my junior year of high school in Dalton, Georgia, I entered the state tournament ranked third in my region for the 189-pound weight class. My weight class and region were considered the hardest in the state, mostly because of a guy named Brent Hughes from Murray County.

Brent hadn’t just beaten me three times that year; he destroyed me three times that year! Every time I wrestled him, I had this negative, defeating self-talk saying, “There’s no way I can beat this guy” and “What am I going to do?” I felt like I had no chance to win against him should I face him in the semifinals.

Historically, if I were winning in the first period, I would win the match. But if I was losing or if I got on my back, I would just tell myself, “Aw, screw it,” and give up. In my first match in the first period of the state tournament, I found myself in a headlock on my back.

While on my back and about to have the shortest appearance in Georgia state tournament history, a new thought entered my head. I thought, “You know what? I don’t even care. I’m just going to go nuts, and see what happens.” Something in me just clicked. I arched my back and, in a fast fury, I was on top of this guy and pinned him for the win.

In my next match, I was thrown on my head three times. A new thought entered my head. “This guy is going to have to kill me to beat me.” Then somehow, in the middle of him throwing me on my head for the fourth time, I ended up countering the throw and pinning the guy. At this point, my confidence started building. I won the next match and then two more matches. After that, I found myself in the semifinals facing Brent Hughes.

Normally, I would have been scared and telling myself, “I can’t do this. He’s so much better than me. There’s no way I can do this.” But this time around, I had a new attitude.

BECOMING AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE

ii REDEFINING POSSIBLE © Southwestern Coaching - Do Not Redistribute

I stopped thinking, stopped caring about “what if,” and started giving 100%.I went into this match with the thought, “I don’t care if he kills me. I’m going to come at him with everything I have. And even if I lose, I’m going to at least slam him one good time.” I visualized myself picking him up and throwing him on his head. In the past, I would have tried to finesse him and used wrestling techniques against him, but this time, I came at him with everything I had, head-on, like a savage warrior. Within a minute of the first period, I picked up the seemingly unbeatable opponent, swung him in the air above my head, and slammed him on his head. He had to take an injury time-out. And to everyone’s surprise (including my coaches), I beat him 7 to 3 and advanced to the state finals.

In that moment, something happened to the way I looked at myself, and my confidence was changed forever. I just defeated Brent Hughes, who had been expected to win the entire state tournament. And I hadn’t just beaten him, I had beaten him badly. In fact, the only points he got were from me taking him down and letting him up.

In the state finals, I was winning with 10 seconds left and ended up losing by only one point. After that tournament, I thought differently about myself. When I looked in the mirror, I believed I could do things I previously thought were not possible. I refer to that day as my “Confidence-Anchor Event.”

Anytime I’ve been afraid to do something or just simply didn’t want to do something, I go back to that day and I push through.

Utilizing this Confidence-Anchor Event has made the rest of the challenges in my life (such as my first “real job” working with the Southwestern Company selling books door-to-door, starting a sales performance consulting business, starting a sales and leadership coaching business, starting a sales seminar business, writing books, being married, and having a baby) so much easier for me. Every time the going gets tough, I visualize going into that state tournament with the odds against me and how I overcame those odds. The memory of that Confidence-Anchor Event helps me push through and not give up.

Now, every time I push through a difficult challenge, that encounter becomes a new Confidence-Anchor Event. What is yours? Do you have a time in your life when the odds were against you and you wanted to quit, but you didn’t and you ended up victorious? If not, you can create one by simply never giving up on anything that is a challenge.

Babe Ruth said it best: “It’s hard to beat someone who won’t give up.”

BECOMING AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE continued

iii© Southwestern Coaching - Do Not Redistribute REDEFINING POSSIBLE

The boss drives his people; the leader coaches them.

The boss depends on authority; the leader depends on goodwill.

The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm.

The boss says “I”; the leader says “we.”

The boss says, “Get here on time”; the leader gets there ahead of time.

The boss seeks blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.

The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how it is done.

The boss says, “Go!”; the leader says, “Let’s go.”

The boss uses people; the leader develops them.

The boss sees today; the leader also looks at tomorrow.

The boss commands; the leader asks.

The boss never has enough time; the leader makes time for things that count.

The boss is concerned with things; the leader is concerned with people.

The boss lets people know where he stands; the leader lets his people know where they stand.

The boss works hard to produce; the leader works hard to help his people produce.

The boss takes credit; the leader gives it.

ORIGINAL VERSION ATTRIBUTED TO H. GORDON SELFRIDGE, FOUNDER OF SELFRIDGE’S DEPARTMENT STORES BASED IN LONDON

BEING A BOSS VERSUS BEING A LEADER

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REDEFINING POSSIBLE - Southwestern Consulting