Reality Hacker

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    theHxdpyMJtaNtMtscHrEv0us

    FUl{ FORIIIGHER

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    o+FRAUEl{FEIDER SIl{CtAIR BRAI{WY1{KRETH EDS DESIGl{ED Y GE{|RGIA UCKER

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    Sroagtloyorry Seanrl {or//ertthng,

    ' f f ucc 1, ' rcn l te appieslnt t lunlsI ' of tctroel l l i r ted olso much ywhat hcy hink or do, bu t ather Yrvha,t rand fproduct hey hooseotluy. t one ime, rirnds cr c sed o

    identify roducts, ut now t's heconsumcrsvhoare branderl s abels,which avemotcd rom he nside fgarments o hc outsidc nd all overthc person, itr:rallyromhead o toe.

    Tryingo "kick"he brand am ehabitwon't elp. t only eads oanother lneof clear,"iite,"or simpld'

    products, ew 0nsumer i'ontir:rsorthr.hcrd rr rbi t .

    No, he answot sn't avoidingbrirnd irntcs,t' s developing ourown

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    "personal rand ame."nsteaii fstrugglingo keep ournose bor'ewater n a poiluted ea fadvertisingnlcssagcs, )crsr)nalrrand it t ti f tyououtol the sullmissivcog-paddling

    posi lurrha1 er lvod, ot tom-feedin$end usors ssume see ig ,1).Thcpersonal rattd teals he power

    ol the corporate ame rands, hich"take ver" smute uppet ictators flhe oul. nd incelte owt:rsalwa.vsin the brand, ever nwhatthe randrepre$cnts,our ersonal rancl eeds

    no product o back t up (see ig .2) .It'san advertisementor ts ownpresentanci utureuselessnoss, mockingsyrnbol fall hat s bought ndsold,

    / litrrroro//t4/ tw/ew ail tlartt A0//8swnlet ht,

    "ffiffixq*i_ffiFig. 2

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    Fig.3

    The personol brond thot willserve os o shield ogoinsithese rces might olso, deolly,be used to oci ON them.Picture, f you must octuolshields. one for eoch hond.One is morked "2+2=4." Theofier is morked "2+2=5."Both ore useful to the WeeBrond Worrior: Wielder OfThe Personol rond. h willbenecessory or you lo mosferond moke use of such ll-logicil you ore to successfullyightthese ires wifi your own.)

    but his ime or ts veryownsakeand or yours. he ogic fpersonaibrandings he knowledgehat urnsJoe Camel lowly ndpainfullynsideout orever ndever see ig.3) .

    Your ersonal randwillact as asortof antibodyn th e system fsymbols ndmessageshat we ailmove n. Heroically,ouwillswim ntothe brainwashing iagara f ogos,ads, nd ifestylemageryhat crashesdown nyou.Your ersonal randwillbe designedo serve sa shieldagainst uch oxicshowers.

    Thepractical pplicationsf apersonal rand redubious, ndrightly o. Practical" as ecome

    Fig.4

    The twisted psychology of the corpororelogo now mode simple! And you con betthere s by now o psychologisf omewnereusing Burger King ond Pepsi nd AT&Tlogo floshcords s iheropeutic ids.)

    tiredselling ord n the so-called"New ge'and cannot e rusted.The practice fpersonal randing an,however, e a sheer, erverse, ndnecessary0y.Thealternativeo thissort0f activitys to take t lyingdown:the amed ath0f east esistance.And his,of course, s exactly hat"they'want ou o do.

    An mportant art of anyanti-marketingtrates/ s a trademark0r og0. he ogo tselfwilloften arrythe uil weightand effectof yourpersonal ampaign. opersonal randis complete ithout ne. ndyouneedno design xperience r special acilitiesto devise ne!Yo u on't ecessarily

    Fi9.5

    Slogoneering n oclion: "Visuolize worldthot s on orbiting odverfisementor it s ownultimole selessness." l broke or odvertisino.""Consumer orosileOnboord." Rememb-er,Andre Breton oid he world would end, notwith o good book, but wifh o beoutilulodverlisement or heoven r for hell.

    Real i ty Hacking 3 I

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    need "name," ven. n nkblotwitha ittleTM n the corner ould e

    sufficient oryourpurposes see ig.

    4). n fact, ou andispense it h heinkblot fyou ike,and ust use heTIvi y tselfas he dlstilled,mineralessence f rademarking nd orporateparanoiatself .

    Whon pplYing our ogo, eendlessiyepetitious nd tag" ften,

    wherever ougo.Whether rivinghome he same non)mcssageveranrloveragain r ust eaving ourmark, he numbing ffectshat hebigbrands njoy re achieved ithblind epell ion hrough roadcastand mass roduction. reproducible,stick-onogomakes his a snaP. s

    youmay now,ogos ave trangeand hypnotic owers. ake riendswithyour ogo nd earn o harnessits unique randof Power. s anexperiment, hotocopyour ogo 10

    Fig. 6

    or 20 on a shoet) nd un offas manYas ou an fl 'ord.pread undredsof hem uton he loor enough o

    fillyour one fvision) ndnoticethe sinister lien ife heyassume,Notice our ogo's loating, amiliar,and strangely nlocatable presence."

    If youaspire o concoct ake adsor realbumper tickers see ig.5)youwillwant o say more han whoyouur* and hat yoo *r* here.This

    is where n encapsulated hought, nthe orm of a.slogan'' jll be useful'When oming Pwith slogans, aYwhatever ouwish,but be advlsed: tis important o make a mockerY f

    antl o tirainmeaning rom he an-guage sed y otlaY's arketinggeniuses. tilize eybuzzwordsikeLifestyle, lternative, ew,Real,Improved, ecycled, omplete, ystem,Classic . , Feel ree o combine hemall nto a meaningless,lusteredabsurdity see ig.6).

    Th e opportunitiesor brandproliferation nd personalization replentiful.You aY

    ouwant a clear

    ,ti.t -on ogo or tire ower orner fyourTVscreen? ou aY ouwant omintyourownprivate orm if currengfThe acilities t anycopy hop makepossiblehe professionalndseamlessfabricaticn f everythingromufake"

    let terheado phonyaminated.D.

    badges0 annoyingosler-sizeds ofull colorT-shirts. ikewise, llformsofcustomized ugs, alendars, encils,fobs, ven wristwatches ith -Yourlogohere" recheaPlY ad.EverY

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    @in-flightmagazines peppered ithsuch ffersor he entrepreneur."(A ogowristwatch illrun youabout 20.)

    Youwillfind ake etterhead ndbusiness ards o be extremely sefulin the acquisition f reeand bizarrecatalogs nd rade ublicationsounever new xisted. nd radepublications ach ontain ha t scalled "bingo ard." "bingo ard'is a ittle business epiy ard rintedwithhundreds f numbers ha t eachcorrespond o a company ha tadvertisedn the magazine. irclethe numbers f he companiesrom

    ^G..EERET

    \#which ou'd ike o receive moreinformation,"end n the card, hensit back andwatch ourmailboxchoke nmore bscureunk mail hanyou've ver een. sproprietor f afake ompany, ool samples"romallvarieties f vendors, ubiishers,manufacturers, ndpublic elationsdepartments il lbe yours or heasking. Asanyone hohas everpublished music anzine nows:Even limsyXeroxed Rwillproducea steady lowof "promotional"records nd apes romal l over heworld.)Also, he eigned uthority fa convincing orporateetterhead

    Fig. 7

    can be usedwithabandon o registerall orms fbizarre omplaints nd"leveraged arnings"o corporatethugs ndelected fficials!

    Use ourpersonalrand iberally.Have un with t(see ig .7) . Leave

    yourmark on his already opelesslyXeroxed ndmarked pworld fours. randing as een ar tof ifesince efore he ree his bookwasprinted nwas ven lantedlPersonal randing, sa way of ife,mayJust ave ou r

    mutant oul. odon't e os t n the extinction huffle!BeHappy! utate! volve! nd aboveal lADVERTISE!

    Real i ty Haching 3 3