iministerscouncil.com/archives/magazine/minmag2011-04.pdf · rates on three models of ministry: shepherd, wounded healer, and wise fool. Sarah Fogg helps us make sense of the grief

A Journal of the American Baptist Ministers Council • Speaking to the Practice of MinistryVolume XXXIV, No. 1

Published Periodically at Valley Forge, PA

M a g a z i n e��dè`jk\i

Spring, 2011

Chaplains and

Counselors

In This IssueJennifer’s Story Lawrence R. Taylor .......................2Presence Bill Painter .......................................4Models of Minsitry Horace O. Duke .............................6Pregnancy Loss Sarah Fogg......................................9Awareness of the Self Kei Okada ..................................... 11The Pastoral Counselor Elizabeth Ritzman ..................... 13Ministering to Soldiers and Families Brett Charsky .............................. 15Minsters Council Preaching Pavillion ABCUSA Biennial ....................... 18

Ministries of Caring Michael Sayler, Editor

!is issue of Minister Magazine is devoted to those clergy members who serve outside the local parish in the capacity of chaplains or counsel-ors. !ey have a calling that reaches people in hospitals, the military, police and "re depart-ments, therapeautic settings, hospice, and many other settings. We asked them to focus on areas of practice that would be helpful to those in the pastorate, sharing their expertise in meaningful ways.

Lawrence Taylor, sta# chaplain in Cincinnati, speaks about his experi-ence with a dying teen and the organ donor procedure following her death. Bill Painter brings his perspective as a retirement chaplain and the impor-tance of “presence” in the sacred moments of ministry. Horace Duke elabo-rates on three models of ministry: shepherd, wounded healer, and wise fool. Sarah Fogg helps us make sense of the grief that accompanies the loss of a child. Kei Okada shares his ideas as a hospice chaplain about our innate healing potential and the importance of listening. Elizabeth Ritzman is a pastoral counselor, and gives insight to the call that encompasses both min-istry and therapy. Finally Brett Charsky, now serving in Iraq, addresses the needs of returning soldiers from the perspective of an army chaplain.

Each contributor brings a wealth of knowledge to his or her calling, and we’re privileged to see how their insights apply to those who serve in local congregations.

Comments, suggestions, and letters to Minister Magazine are welcome. Please include your name, email, and a contact phone number.

Send to: pastor@!rstbaptist-cs.org

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2 Minister Magazine Spring, 2011

Jennifer’s Story Lawrence R. Taylor

It seemed ironic that a small plastic cross hung

from the antiseptic hand-wash bottle outside the pa-tient’s room. After all, the very !rst thing her father told me when I responded to the news of the trauma was, “We are atheists. I hope that doesn’t o"end

you.”I meet surprisingly few real atheists. It takes a good deal

of intellectual arrogance to be certain that there is no God. Most of the people who claim the title atheist are really

agnostics. $ey doubt the existence of God, but do not rule out the possibility.

Not so these parents. $ey are convinced, as they told me later, that human beings are simply computers made of meat, that there is no part of us that is immortal. Love, joy, happiness, a"ection for others, parental attachment, even grief – these are simply the result of the !ring of neurons. $ere is no design and no designer. We are meaningless accidents in a meaningless, existentially absurd world. When you are dead, you’re just gone. $at’s all.

$eir middle child, I’ll call her Jennifer, a senior in college majoring in mathematics, had won the only full scholarship given in her senior year of high school. She was coming home for the weekend, hit a patch of ice and spun out into the path of an oncoming SUV that hit her broadside. $e trauma service attending physician said her injuries were nonsurvivable. $e neurosurgeon wanted to try a few more tests, then concurred.

$e trauma attending physician con!ded in me the next day that he had a daughter the same age. He and I reacted the same way. We both went home and contacted our col-lege age daughters to tell them we loved them.

$ere she lay – a bright, beautiful, healthy young woman with all the potential and possibility in the world, now comatose on a ventilator. A parent’s worst nightmare.

Her father stomped his feet and cursed. Her mother, already with a history of anxiety disorder and depression, alternated between dazed shock and inconsolable wailing. Her older sister, a graduate of Smith College, wept con-vulsively, and her “little” brother, all six foot three of him,

sobbed and sobbed. He and Jennifer were unusually close.$ey sorrowed as people who have no hope.

Paternal grandparents arrived. Active in their Meth-odist church, their faith undergirded them. $ey were shocked to hear the proclamations of atheism from their son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. $ey tried, un-successfully, to logically argue them into faith.

An elderly neighbor/Presbyterian minister arrived and asked them if they wanted to pray. $ey declined. He asked if he could read Psalm 23. $ey declined again.

$e sta" was hoping the patient would progress to brain death for the sake of the family. She did not. She still had re%exes; still would spontaneously breathe when the ventilator was turned down. She was not dead.

I told her brother and sister that she was “still in there,” and encouraged them to talk to her. $ey took turns, as did mom and dad – long private sessions whispering in her ear.

In a rare moment when no one was in the room, I too talked with Jennifer. I prayed that God would speak to her innermost being. I do not know if she could hear me, but I am certain she could hear God. I asked God to reveal Himself to her, to forgive her sins and unbelief and carry her to heaven safely forever. I know the grandparents and most of the nurses were praying as well.

After an uninterrupted twenty-four hours of being at her side, the family, one by one, said their !nal goodbyes and left.

I told them I would stay with Jennifer until the end. $ey hugged me and thanked me. I did not push religion on them. I sought to love them with the love of Jesus.$ey and I are in a club we never wanted to join. We are bereaved parents.

A transplant team of surgeons %ew in by private jet. For the !rst time, I donned a blue disposable “bunny” surgical suit with booties, hair cover, gloves, and mask. $e direc-tor of nursing, the patient’s nurse, the respiratory therapist and I wheeled her downstairs and into the OR.

I had never been in an OR before, but it felt strangely familiar. Just like the movies. Extensions were attached to the operating table. Jennifer’s arms were stretched out so doctors could insert lines. Her cruciform shape arrested my attention. A sacri!ce, that others might live.

Two teams. Us and them. We were there to withdraw life-support and pronounce cardiac death. $ey were there to harvest organs !ve minutes after pronouncement.

$ey were not allowed in the OR until she was o&cially pronounced dead. Ethics and legalities. In America, we do not harvest organs from live people regardless of their


condition. We do not rush the process. We withdraw life support and wait. If death does not come naturally within 60 minutes, the whole thing is called o", the surgeons %y home, and the patient goes back to the unit until she passes.

$ey wait in an adjacent room watching. $ey are not with us so no one can accuse any one of rushing the process. I hold her left hand and pray for her silently. Ten minutes after the respirator is disconnected, at 1919 hours, our doctor pronounces her dead.

We gather our stu" and leave. I wish I had a picture of me in my bunny suit. I held her hand to the end. In her, I saw my daughters, Becky, Rachel and Emily. I saw every-one’s daughter. Everyone’s sister.

$ey rush in. At !ve minutes after o&cial death, they remove her liver, place it in ice, then in a cooler. Surgeons run out with it, hop in an ambulance, speed to the plane, %y to Indianapolis, jump in another ambulance, speed to the hospital and begin sewing it into a dying man.

A few minutes after the liver is out, Jennifer’s kidneys are extracted, placed on ice, handed to a waiting team which runs with them into nearby operating rooms. One is too damaged to use. Another life saved.

Surgeons are not !nished with Jennifer. $ey will now remove her corneas, some of her skin, the bones from her legs, and her heart. After they are done, an undertaker will make her look “normal” in her casket.

$e accident in which she was killed injured her chest so her heart cannot be transplanted whole, but the valves are saved for future transplant into cardiac patients. Her skin may help heal several burned children. Her corneas will give sight to two elderly blind people. Her bones will be ground up, sold for a huge pro!t, and used by plastic surgeons to make the lips of Hollywood stars look pu"y and sexy.

It is illegal to sell organs, but not tissue or bone. $eir sales are a billion dollar business. Her parents and siblings will never know that last fact. $at her death helped save lives will be their only solace. $ey do not believe they will ever see her again. $ey do not believe that she is alive somewhere now. But I do.

Lawrence R. Taylor, PhD, BCPC, is the Sta! Chaplain at UC Health University Hospital, Cincinnati, Ohio. He is an ordained minister: American Baptist Churches, USA, holds a PhD in psychology, and is a Board Certi"ed Pastoral Coun-selor by the International Board of Christian Counselors.

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their experience. $eir words re%ect the yearnings of the spirit as they seek to make sense of what is happening. As their chaplain I cannot respond in a meaningful way if I have not heard their inner voice.

$e power of presence also creates opportunities to inspire hope in the midst of despair. John and Teresa were in love and excited about their approaching wedding. A second marriage, later in life, was an unexpected blessing. $en John su"ered a devastating stroke causing serious disabilities that seemed to crush hopes for the future as well. $e specter of long-term nursing home residency was a cruel blow to their plans for life together. Marriage was out of the question, at least for the foreseeable future. Yet their deepest yearning was to honor their love and relationship.

Together we planned a celebration to bless their rela-tionship. Family and friends gathered in our chapel to celebrate as they publically declared their love for one another. $eir “special day” was !lled with joy. It was a moment of healing when a cure could not be expected. As their chaplain I had the honor of acting for and with them to give voice to their deepest desire.

In countless encounters like those above, I have discov-ered that if I am willing to be open to the Spirit in myself and others the power of presence brings us together. Betty, a Judson Park resident, understands the chaplain’s pres-ence. She says, “We need to be in it together.” When those I serve are con!dent I am with them no matter what happens, ministry becomes transforming. If, however, I lack needed insight, my presence will not provide spiritual support. Meaningful presence as a chaplain challenges me to sharpen skills for ministry.

It is the union of spiritual presence with pastoral skill that empowers authentic spiritual care. Chaplains must be competent in the disciplines of ministry. One must be well versed in the practices of pastoral care, clinical assessment, psychology, theology and more. One must also be com-mitted to continued growth in order to provide transfor-mative ministry.

Clinical Pastoral Education, for me personally, was the right setting in which to develop the skills needed for e"ective ministry. CPE raised my awareness of my own wounds and nudged me along a path of healing. It also opened my spirit to the wounds of others. $e rigorous attention to learning and re%ection provided insight. My greatest revelation while in CPE was that my vulnerability with those who su"er was a conduit of healing.

As I challenged myself to be open to new growth, the experience of ministry became even more rewarding.

I believe the CPE experience provides a strong foun-dation for ministry. Being exposed to the discipline of

PresenceBill Painter

I learned the power of pres-ence early in my ministry

at Judson Park. Gerald was near the end of life. For weeks I had given support to him and his family. On one of my visits all I could really do was stand at his bedside and hold his hand while he slept. As I did, his wife Mar-tha, arrived for her daily vigil.

Several months after Gerald’s death Martha told me that through the entire experience what meant the most to her was that day she saw me holding her husband’s hand. She found hope and comfort in that simple ges-ture. More than any words or prayers I could have said, my presence nurtured healing in the midst of sorrow. It is in our being that love and the divine are most genu-inely revealed.

$e phrase “ministry of presence” is often used to describe what it is chaplains do. I believe the chaplain’s ability to be present is the key to e"ective pastoral and spiritual care. It is di&cult to de!ne but we know when it happens. $ose we serve will know if we are not open to them. $ey will also know when we are with them in their trials.

Henri Nouwen’s concept of the “Wounded Healer” is fundamental to my belief about the ministry of presence. Nouwen writes, “$e minister is called to recognize the su"erings of his time in his own heart and make that recognition the starting point of his service” (Henri Nouwen, #e Wounded Healer, Doubleday, 1972). Being open to the wounds caused by life in myself and others nurtures spiritual presence.

It is humbling to know that as a chaplain my presence personi!es the very presence of God. I demonstrate not only my love, but also God’s. My willingness to be with others, even in the bleakest of circumstances, is perhaps the most powerful symbol of divine presence I bring to those who struggle.

When I asked Jean what she needed from her chap-lain she responded, “To be reminded that I am a child of God.” In her words one hears the fear that God has abandoned her. My presence as I listen a&rms that God is present as well.

My presence becomes authentic for those I seek to support as I listen with an ear to the deeper meaning of


personal re%ection with a trained supervisor enabled me to discover new spiritual resources. I encourage those who ask me about a career in chaplaincy, whether clergy or laity, to consider completing a program in Clinical Pastoral Educa-tion. $e CPE process will be of bene!t to whatever min-istry setting one might be called. More information about CPE can be found at the Association of Clinical Pastoral Education website (www.acpe.edu).

I also believe a solid foundation for viable ministry of presence requires an ongoing commitment to continuing education. For instance, as the nature of health care chang-es, the practice of spiritual care changes as well. Chaplains must keep pace with advancements in their !eld of min-istry to provide appropriate support in an often confusing environment.

Many seminaries, colleges and universities o"er courses that will enhance skills for ministry in the modern health care setting. Specialized institutes, like the George Wash-ington Institute for Spirituality and Health (www.gwish.org), o"er advanced degree and certi!cate programs. Continuing Education Units can be obtained through the Association of Professional Chaplains (www.professional-chaplains.org) and other health care organizations.

Professional Certi!cation and Ecclesiastical Endorse-ment are also valuable resources for enhancing professional skills. Membership in the Association of Professional Chaplains (www.professionalchaplains.org) supports continued professional development. Endorsement by one’s faith tradition also encourages ongoing attention to standards for ministry. Information about endorsement for specialized ministry within American Baptist Churches USA is available at the American Baptist Home Mission Societies (www.abhms.org) website. Click on the link for Chaplaincy and Pastoral Counseling Services.

As a chaplain I have been privileged to share in countless sacred moments. $e marriage of spirit and professional skill has drawn me to the thin places where the divine touches human experience. I have learned that the mystery of divine presence can a&rm hope even in the context of su"ering. I have also been humbled when divine grace has nurtured spirit even in my weakness. $e power of pres-ence, human and divine, is the grace of my calling that unites me in hope with those I serve.

Bill Painter earned a BA from Bethel College and an MDiv from Bethel Seminary. He served two congregations prior to completing Clinical Pastoral Education at St. Joseph Hospital in Tacoma, Washington. He is endorsed for institutional chap-laincy by the ABCUSA and Board Certi"ed by the Association of Professional Chaplains. He has served as Chaplain, Director of Spiritual Services at Judson Park Retirement Community in Des Moines, Washington since 1983.

The Ministers Council is that Unique Place within the

National Structure of the ABCUSA which:

• O#ers leaders opportunities to articulate a distinct ministerial viewpoint, among the many denomi-national perspectives that need to be voiced and heard, as we work together for the growth of Christ’s kingdom;

• Serves as an advocate for its members in times of di$culty and con%ict;

• Is solely focused on the well-being of clergy as they engage in the ministerial calling in all of its dimensions.

www.ministerscouncil.org

The Ministers Council Provides a Community for its Members:

• To assume responsibility for the faithful practice of the ministerial calling;

• To develop and promote ethical standards that both guide and shape the way in which the voca-tion of ministry is performed;

• To assume personal responsibility for and to en-courage physical and emotional well-being in the practice of ministry;

• To inform, support and encourage one another in the deepening of personal and communal spiri-tual life;

• To work together to develop the skills necessary to become e#ective servants of Christ’s church

• To encourage growing friendships that inform and correct the leader as she or he seeks to faith-fully respond to the call of God in Christ Jesus.

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Models of MinistryHorace O. Duke

Clinical Pastoral Education develops a ministry informed by theology and psychology.1 $e focus of this article is not how this may be accomplished. In-stead, the intent is to encourage a brief re%ection on the reader’s ministry style in light of three models of pastoral ministry,2 often explored in CPE curricu-lum.

Because of the prevailing burden of guilt in our society, for-giveness must be a fundamental theme of the Christian faith.

Stop. In the statement above about guilt, how many times does the letter “f ” appear? Count the “f ’s.” Count them only once.

Count them again. $is time count all three of the “f ’s” in the three prepositions, “of.” Experts in the study of the mind state that when reading the word “of,” we hear it phonetically as, “ov,” and record that “f ” as a “v.” $us, when looking for “f ’s,” those in the word “of ” are ignored. We can look right at an “f ”and tell ourselves, it is a “v”! Counting only once, readers often !nd one, even two of these “f ’s,” but rarely all three.

Pastoral ministry involves accurate “reading” and “hear-ing.” Ministers need to be aware of any “phonetic” pre-conditioning that they may carry within their preferred ways of doing ministry. $is is true in presenting the mes-sage from the pulpit, and in ministry interactions outside the pulpit.

$e three models are Shepherd, Wounded Healer and Wise Fool. Each of these models represents a valid style of ministry. As you consider these models, look for the speci!c assets and liabilities each o"ers.

!e Shepherd. $e dominate characteristic of Shep-herds is responsibility. Shepherds are the true, “Respon-sible Self.”3 $ey feel a responsibility for the good of others. $e grace they have experienced regarding their past irresponsibility often converts into feeling respon-sible for corrective actions in the present. $e source of authority is beyond the Shepherd. $e biblical symbol for the Shepherd’s ministry may be the admonitions of the Proverbs and the instructions of Paul’s letters. Shepherds often think of God as “Deliverer” and “Redeemer.” $e dominate theme in life and message may be righteousness, the power of God to save.

Pastoral Self Image. $e Shepherd’s self-image is a competent guide. Like the agricultural shepherd, pastoral shepherds feel an overriding responsibility for the care and leadership of their sheep. Shepherds, as leaders, must above all else be competent. $is often brings self-imposed pressure to learn more and meet higher standards of recog-nized authority.

View of the Problem. Shepherds view a problem or situ-ation as something that needs to be corrected. It is wrong and must be brought into right standing.

Goal in Assessment. Shepherds assess a situation to de!ne the cause. $eir premise is: for every problem there is an established resource to resolve it. $eir focus is objective, looking “outside” the situation for prior established criteria by which the situation must be assessed. Shepherds may automatically look to the Bible, a manual, or an established authority for assessment criteria.

Pastoral Approach. $e Shepherd’s approach is deduc-tive, instructive and directive. Shepherds place the problem within the appropriate context in order to handle it cor-rectly. Much as a physician uses a diagnoses to prescribe the appropriate medicine protocol, Shepherds may seek to apply a prescribed spiritual protocol to bring the right resolution. Shepherds use standards and objective truth as a central resources in this process. Feelings and subjective experience are of secondary concern for Shepherds. $ey tend to believe emotions may hinder the application of the needed resource, delaying the proper resolution. One pendulum of this approach is called “Nouthetic,”4 from the Greek verb “noutheteo” meaning “to admonish, to teach.” $ese are characteristics of even a more moderate Shep-herd approach.

Self Admonition. $e burden of responsibility can be heavy. Shepherds can be hardest on themselves. $e internal admonition Shepherds often hear is: “Don’t just stand there! Do something!” For some Shepherds the most unkind words can be, “You were irresponsible; you did not do it right.”

Shepherd Listening. Shepherds listen for responsibility and correction. $is approach serves them well in many cir-cumstances. $e danger can be that the Shepherd begins to listen in order to be responsible, and to make correc-tions, needed or not. Unintended consequences that can beset the Shepherd model are burnout on the part of the Shepherd, and others becoming overly dependent on the Shepherd.

Wounded Healer. $e dominate characteristic of Wounded Healers is empathic accessibility. Wounded Healers are the genuine “Accessible Self.” 5 $ey must be available to and with people. $e biblical symbols for Wounded Healers are the Psalms and the Beatitudes.


Wounded Healers see God as the ever present Sustainer, Comforter and Compassionate Friend.

Pastoral Self-Image. Wounded Healers see themselves as vulnerable. $ey are tuned in to their own weaknesses. $ough trained and highly experienced in ministry, their dominate self-image is not competence. Wounded Heal-ers’ a&nity with weakness and di&culty gives them con!-dence to be with others. $ey are available companions on the road, not competent guides for the journey.

View of the problem. Wounded Healers see a problem as a context unto itself. What is important to them is how people are experiencing the situation. How the problem is being experienced is more important than what caused it, or the future consequences that may follow it.

Goals in Assessment. $e Wounded Healer’s assessment goal is to discover the potential for meaning within the experience. $ey are not assessing cause. Unlike Shep-herds, Wounded Healers see the context itself as a critical mass of potential meaning. $us, the focus can be highly subjective in nature. Feelings and subjective experiences are prime factual data in the Wounded Healer’s assessment process.

Pastoral Approach. $e Wounded Healer’s approach is inductive. Wounded Healers suppress moral judgment and are reluctant to express personal beliefs. $is is done in the service of connecting. $ey listen and accept what is expressed. Feelings and subjective experience are used as pathways into insight and ways to handle the moment. While Shepherds may look “outside” the situation for resolution and correction, Wounded Healers look “within” the situation for meaning.

Self Admonition. Wounded Healers are compassionate companions. $ey, like the Shepherd, can be less compas-sionate with self, yet, they are long-su"ering and patient with others. $ey replace the internal “doing for” people with “being with” people. Wounded Healers transpose the Shepherd’s admonition into: “Don’t just do some-thing--- Stand there!” It hurts Wounded Healers to hear, “I needed you, and your were not available,” or “you don’t care!”

Wounded Healer Listening. Wounded Healers listen with empathy and understanding. $is serves well in connecting with people. $e danger is, Wounded Heal-ers can begin to enjoy the process of listening in order to experience being connected, empathetic and understand-ing. Unintended consequences can be over indulgence, enabling, and emotional interactions that become self-serving to the Wounded Healer.

Wise Fool. $e dominate characteristic of Wise Fools is adaptability. Wise Fools are the “Adaptable Selves.” $ey are comfortable in adapting to most any situation.

$ey are not bound to tradition, nor to the expectations of others. $eir interest is in helping others to see more clearly and gain better understanding.

Pastoral Self-Image. Wise Fools see themselves as stimu-lators of insight. $ey have a kind of comfort with them-selves that allows them to adapt a variety of personas as they engage people. Some contemporary examples of the Wise Fool are Robin Williams as Dr. Adams, in the movie “Patch Adams,” 6 and Father Mulkie of TV’s “Mash.” An-other role adapted by Wise Fools is the clown.7

View of the problem. For Wise Fools, the problem is something that needs to be seen in a new way. $e source of the problem is a limited, distorted, even incorrect view of reality. $e focus is not the situation; rather it is the person’s perception of it. Wise Fools believe the axiom, “Change perception, and nothing has changed; change perception, and nothing is the same.” For Wise Fools, “what is,” is limited only by what it is perceived to be.

Goals in Assessment. Wise Fools assess in order to dis-cover the locus of the distortion; “Where is the perception bound up?” $e Wise Fool’s assessment does not focus on the cause, or on how it is being experienced. Wise Fools’ assessment questions are: “How is the person seeing the situation?” or “What are the possibilities of seeing it di"erently?”

Pastoral Approach. $e Wise Fools’ approach is indirect, and frequently paradoxical. $e potential for the desired outcome structures the approach. Wise Fools have a strange kind of con!dence that allows them to adopt any persona they believe appropriate to the situation. Some Wise Fools have a bit of the detective Colombo8 in them. $ey can present themselves with a lack of sophistication; they may even feign confusion or ignorance. $ese are genuine “disguises” employed to aid the hearer in discov-ering some awareness which they might otherwise resist, or dismiss. Wise Fools’ questions are subtle and disarm-ing. $eir paradoxical statements are structured to create double binds in thought, providing opportunities for new awareness. Wise Fools are gifted in the art of reframing situations.

Self Admonition. Wise Fools believe they must be creative to help people get past di&culties. $eir internal message is: “Be creative. Find a di"erent approach to help them see things in a new way.” Wise Fools are not fazed by the accusation, “You don’t care” or the rebu" “You are wrong!” Rather, the deeper hurt comes from failing to en-gage with the person in a manner that creates the greatest potential for change.

Wise Fool Listening. Wise Fool listening is insight- fo-cused and designed to create new perspective. $e danger is that Wise Fools can begin to listen in order to be cre-


ative and wise. $ey can become so infatuated with the experience itself, they get caught up in the pure enjoyment of being creative and wise. Unintended consequences can be that they may be seen as sarcastic, harsh, and even insincere.

Conclusion. Di"erent circumstances call for di"erent approaches. An old adage suggests: “If your only tool is a hammer, all your resources will be nails.” While certain qualities of each model may always be important in min-istry, there is usually a need for the dominate characteristic of one over the other two.

Perhaps the !rst question to ask oneself is: “What is the dominate need in this situation?” Is it the clarity, informa-tion and direction of a Shepherd? $e empathetic accep-tance and support of a Wounded Healer? $e disarming, perplexing, and new perspective focused exchange of a Wise Fool? Pausing for such consideration makes visible some of the “f ’s” that might otherwise be “missed.”Notes:1 For information check $e Association for Clinical Pas-toral Education website: www.acpe.edu.2 Donald Capps, Pastoral Care and Hermeneutics; Fortress Press3 H. Richard Niebuhr, James M. Gustafson, William Sch-weiker.4 Nouthetic Counseling; Dallas $eological Seminary, Dal-las Texas5 Consider Henry Nouwen’s #e Wounded Healer and $e Return of the Prodigal Son, also Erving Go"man’s Behavior in Public Places.6 Dr. Patch Adams, $e Gesundheit Institute West Vir-ginia; the movie “Patch Adams.”7 Alastair V. Campbell, Rediscovering Pastoral Care and Heige Farber, articles on “Minister as Clown”8 NBC original Television Series featuring Peter Falk as Lt. Colombo.

Horace O. Duke is the Lead Chaplain and ACPE Supervisor at Portland VA Medical Center, Portland, Oregon. He holds a D.Min. degree from the Graduate #eological Foundation, In-diana and is the author of an Abby Press book, Where Is God When Bad $ings Happen?.

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Pregnancy Loss: A SpecialOpportunity for Pastoral CareSarah Fogg

Pastor, our daughter just mis-carried in her fourth month

of pregnancy. Can you go and see her?

$is is one of the most heartbreaking phone calls a pastor receives. What can you say? Should you o"er to do a funeral or graveside service? Should you counsel the grieving

parents to view the baby’s body? What about the grieving mother’s parents? Do they need grief support too? What if they want you to help them turn the grieving parents’ attention away from the loss?

Worse than receiving such a call would be not to receive it all. Months later, you hear what happened and realize no one thought to call you. Maybe they considered it “too private.” Maybe they weren’t sure you wanted to be called.

No event has more potential to cause a crisis of faith than the death of a loved one. Pregnancy loss magni!es the risk. Birth and death become one. $e mourner has to make sense of the two greatest mysteries of life—birth and death—at the same time. Such a loss is transforming. Usually, the parents are young; often, they aren’t connected to a church. $ey are much more likely to seek out com-fort and meaning in faith if you are able to shepherd them in their grief.

Fortunately, everyone wounded by loss is “wired” for healing. In making us in His image, our Creator embed-ded a spiritual pathway designed to return us to wholeness. Once you know its !ve stepping stones1, you will have a beginning sense of how to be helpful to those making their way through deepest grief—the loss of a child. Step One: Attaching/Birth

Paradoxical as it may seem, what was lost must !rst be claimed. Not doing so would “short circuit” the process of healing. Listening to and encouraging bereaved parents to talk about their hopes, dreams, and plans for the lost child, you can help them take this !rst, essential step, expressing the attachments of love that were slowly but surely binding them to their child and making them into his or her par-ents. You might say, “What names were you considering?” “Were you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

Be careful not to cut short this part of the journey out of your own discomfort or fear that recalling now impossible dreams and plans is too painful for the bereaved. Many well-meaning comforters advise grieving parents to “look to the future,” or assure them they can “try again.” But this is a mistake. Grieving parents must leave this child behind, but broken hearts cannot heal without remember-ing. Love always paints a picture of the beloved. Let these parents tell you about theirs. You may even be surprised at how much parents smile as they talk about the hopes they once had.Step Two: Detaching /Death

$ough necessary for healing, it is painful to talk about the death of a baby. Putting together the words, “dead baby” is discom!ting for all involved. But you are present to help mourners successfully navigate the stepping stones along the pathway. If the mother is already able to talk about her loss, how it happened, what it felt like, who was present, what she was thinking, your task is to listen and encourage the telling of the story. If she is avoiding it, you can invite her with, “What did you think when you !rst realized this was happening?” Include the father, as well. He also lost the child and needs to grieve.

If you visit the parents in the hospital, you may !nd the sta" already helping them claim and face the loss of their child. Many hospitals have trained their nurses to encour-age parents to talk about their loss. $ey o"er color photos of the child, footprints, memory boxes, and encourage parents to name and hold their baby. In doing this, hospi-tals have found a double bene!t. Parents who are helped to grieve appropriately move toward healing more quickly. Sta" members who learn how to stay with patients un-dergoing intense emotions gain their lasting gratitude and cope better with their own feelings. Parents who have the help of a pastor at such a time can often face and talk about their deepest fear: where is God in all of this? Your task is not to give pat answers but to assure them that their questions are not only allowed, but usually necessary. Jesus cried out on the cross, “My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Job, who lost 10 children all at once, was unrelenting with his questions.Step !ree: Attempting to Fill the Void/Searching

Spiritually, this stepping stone attempts to !ll empti-ness with meaning. Emotionally, it attempts to answer the question, “Why did this happen?” It is the longest and loneliest part of the pathway. As a pastor, you can be a welcome presence to the bereaved at this stage, at the very time they may feel most alone and abandoned. Showing care and concern without critiquing, advising or minimiz-ing, you can listen as those in your care explore this painful territory. $ere are no short-cuts through it.


Some call this stepping stone the “search for the guilty party.” All grief includes guilt: something that should have been done or that was left undone. $e search is actually evidence of loving parents who wanted so much to save this child from death. You can a&rm their love and this part of the pathway by telling them that. If they haven’t talked about these things, you can say, “Have you found yourself searching for the guilty party?” Your help here can be crucial, validating their “list making” as a nor-mal part of grief. Some grieving parents may worry that this part of the pathway lasts forever. You can let them know it ends when they have no more questions or no more energy left to ask them.Step Four: Remembering and Envisioning/Recovery

At this point, the focus shifts subtly from past to fu-ture. No longer able to search through the details of the loss, mourners !nd themselves envisioning what the child would have been like or how he or she would have looked at certain ages. $is forward movement often changes the mind’s memory picture of the lost child. Sometimes, at death, people shrink back from viewing the deceased, fear-ful of remembering them always that way. Such is not the case for those who follow the stepping stones. A tiny baby may later be remembered as much larger or a dis!gured child as perfectly formed.

Hints of healing always appear at the fourth stepping stone. Laughter, even playfulness, begins to return. Some-times, parents worry that lessening sadness means forget-ting the child. You can assure them. Staying on the step-ping stones will not only bring them back to wholeness; it will embed their child’s memory forever in their hearts. You can help the bereaved become aware and comfortable with the changes occurring in their memory and imagin-ings. You might say, “You seem more hopeful lately.”

Both psychology and religion understand recovery as be-ginning with the bereaved being comforted with a sense of spiritual presence that seems to come from outside them, a presence that springs slowly but surely from the fount of remembrance. It brings the bereaved back to life, not just restored but ready to be enlarged.Step Five: Embracing the Future/Rebirth

Mourners on the !nal stepping stone of the journey experience transformation from brokenness to whole-ness. Your role, as always, is to show care and support, and now to witness and help them claim joy and return to life. Recovered mourners receive some new understand-ing or breakthrough that can be shared. $ey might say, “I’m much more sensitive to other people now when I hear about their losses.” Invite them to tell you more. “When did you notice the change? Whom did you help?” You

might even remark, “What a wonderful memorial to your lost child! You have received a great gift.”

Survivors of grief who make their way through deep loss !nd themselves spiritually enlarged and often eager to help others. Job experiences God in a new way and asks forgiveness for his advice-giving friends. Travelers on the road to Emmaus change from dejected followers to excited messengers !lled with joy. Like them, survivors of preg-nancy loss experience a resurgence of trust, hope, promise of the future—all the childlike qualities that disappear in grief. When they return, as they do for all who journey through the stepping stones of grief, they are experienced as rebirth and the beginning of new, expanded life.

Now that you know the steps grieving parents of preg-nancy loss must take to return to wholeness, how can you let them know you are ready to walk with them on the journey? Begin by including illustrations or references to miscarriage or stillbirth in your sermons. During interces-sory prayer, mention parents who have su"ered pregnancy loss. To become more knowledgeable about pregnancy loss and how to minister more e"ectively, explore the many books and articles now available. Locate pregnancy loss support groups in your area and make referrals. Find a blessing ritual you can use when called to the hospital or develop your own. Your local hospital’s pastoral care department may be yet another resource.

Statistics reveal that 15% to 35% of your congregants have undergone pregnancy loss. By guiding grieving parents along the stepping stones of mourning, you can be instrumental in helping them !nd new life. It will delight you and make you glad that you have been privileged to be part of God’s divine work: restoring the brokenhearted to wholeness.Notes:1For more information on the psychological aspects of pregnancy grief, please see Judith A. Savage, Mourning Unlived Lives: A Psychological Study of Childbearing Loss. Chiron Press, 1989 Sarah L. Fogg has founded two Departments of Pastoral Care, the "rst at Lawrence Hospital in Bronxville, NY, and the sec-ond, at St. John’s Riverside Hospital in Yonkers, NY, where she is currently Director. She is a Board Certi"ed Chaplain and has served on the Association of Professional Chaplain’s Board of Certi"cation. For more articles by Sarah Fogg on pregnancy loss, please see Partners in Healing: Bringing Compassion to People with Illness or Loss (Paulist Press: 2003), pp. 45-66, and Counseling Survivors of Traumatic Events (Case 8) by Weaver, Flannelly, Preston (Abingdon: 2003).


Awareness of the Self in Caring for the DyingKei Okada

Hospice is not a “place to give up life” but a life-af-

!rming comfort care to promote one’s quality of life and peace. Still there are many who have the former image, and many clinicians have di&culty accept-ing the limitations of curative treatments for longer periods of time in New York, where the ratio of those who die receiving

the bene!ts of hospice care is far lower than the national average.

$e word “hospice” was derived from the word for “guest-house” in Latin. $e original model for the hospice began in the churches, where pilgrims found rest and recovery as they were treated with hospitality as the guests. Today hospice is a safe place of rest and peace for the “travelers” in the !nal “coda” of their life journey. It is our patients’ home where our home hospice care provides hospitality and comfort care.

Dame Cecily Saunders, the founder of the Hospice movement in England, understood a patient’s “su"er-ing” as his/her “total pain” including the physical, social, psychological and spiritual pain. Spiritual care is a part of our IDT (Inter-Disciplinary Team) approach at VNSNY Hospice Care to address the total pain of our patients and their families and/or caregivers. According to the National Consensus Project, “Spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connected-ness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the signi!cant or sacred.”

Illness, aging and dying entail our patients’ multiple loss experiences and at the same time provide opportunities for self-discovery and growth in face of the unwanted, unex-pected or unpredictable conditions. Spiritual care seeks to enhance spiritual “connectedness” by validating and a&rm-ing their experiences with acceptance and understanding, and by developing a genuine bond with them.

End-of-life is a sacred season when one’s awareness of mortality and the !nite time exposes oneself to the core values of living and dying, real feelings and real hopes. We cannot be empathic without asking ourselves the same questions they are struggling with and sharing their strug-

gling journey, rather than trying to !x or correct them. As we struggle, we learn and grow together as fellow humans. Each patient recovers personhood beyond the diminishing title, “patient” in hospitality and solidarity, through a bond we develop. We present ourselves as their fellow humans with hurts and pains that need healing. It is important for us to remain aware of our needs and the urge to !nd company for our better comfort. In this way we can focus on trying to understand their “reality” from their view-point; that is the true meaning of “empathy.” Such empa-thy is liberating and empowering for them. Spiritual care is serious about the transformative and healing potential of this kind of empathy.

All of us have both the painful hurting side and the healing potential; that is, we are both “patients” who need healing and “healers” who empower others’ healing poten-tial. Pain or distress, like a black hole, has the ability to draw all of your attention, making you feel as if that were your only reality. Spiritual care can be an internal “mas-sage” to soften such “tight” spots and help you to embrace your growth - as well as your losses.

CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) trains one to remain aware of one’s own emotional and psycho-spiritual needs and urges while listening to another person. $is simul-taneous dual consciousness is very important in order for us to focus on the needs of the person we are listening to without confusing them with our own internal needs. And this training becomes a painful, yet wonderful heal-ing experience through self-understanding and accep-tance. Self-acceptance is the key to making our listening attentive, accepting, calming, grounded and non-anxious. Understanding ourselves as the beloved and forgiven, wounded children in whom the Healer resides, we readily understand others as such, through our deeper a&rmation of faith in our Lord’s forgiving presence.

Our innate healing potential !nds “oasis” in any “desert” experience, and comes back to life when we feel well heard by a caring soul. You can truly listen to another person when you understand and embrace what is said for your-self, then use it as a source of compassion to embrace the whole person in his/her “shadow” as well as light. And your acceptance and support enables and empowers the person you are serving to experience his/her experience fully as his/her own, and thus “being whole,” generating the heal-ing process from within.

When Job’s friends found Job’s su"ering and grief greater than their expectation, they lost their words: “And no one spoke a word to him,” but they didn’t %ee in fear, either. $ey “sat down with him on the ground seven days and and seven nights.” ( Job 2:13) Once Job opened his mouth, they all fell to the temptation of “being right” in


their theology, and failed to be Job’s compassionate com-forter. Job told them, “But you forgers of lies, you are all worthless physicians. Oh, that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom! Now hear my reasoning, and heed the pleadings of my lips” ( Job 13:4-6).

Our own reasoning often makes us fail to hear and receive well the gift of anyone’s most honest voice. $is story of Job is a prime example of how our mind’s intel-lectual “correctness” can fail the “righteousness” or the right relationship with our gracious God who is Love. After all, if I “have not love, I am nothing.” (1 Corin-thians 13:1-3) We rush to our reasoning because it is the best “known” concrete defense against our unknown deepest fear. Knowing our fear and being aware of it nulli!es the venom of the fear and thus enables us to be fearless in face of the presence of pain or su"ering, the living or the dying.

And there are plenty of words only the su"erers can utter and teach us. When heard well, they are encour-aged and empowered to speak their soulful truths. $e profound e"ect of silent listening helps me ponder the healing presence of our silent Lord. God’s permeat-ing silence as sung in Psalm 19:1-4, in the most heart-wrenching situations - in light of the painfully born Love on the Cross and the eternal promise of Resurrec-tion, our souls’ !nal release, return and rest – seems to be His deepest trust in the divine likeness and mind of Christ in us. With silence, our Lord invites us to trust more deeply the divine gift of love within us – for our own healing process, as well as our growth as a comforter and healer for others.

$e word “care” comes from a Gothic word, “Kara” that means “lament.” $e word “compassion” means “to su"er together with” in Latin. And Christians believe in the “man of sorrows acquainted with grief ” (Isaiah 53:3) who showed us the greatest love for us to live - by laying down His life for us ( John 15:13). Christ’s “power to lay it down” and “power to take it again” ( John 10:18) has been imparted to us by the Holy Spirit as a witness and manifestation of God’s love.

“All human beings are inextricably interconnected. I am because we are. We can be human only in commu-nity, in koinonia, in peace,” stated Desmond Tutu. Our Lord is in our midst as “I AM” the Healer and the Com-forter when we have su"ering and sorrow. Do we su"er in peace, because I AM ? Do others su"er in peace when I am such a presence in face of su"ering? I ask this question as I am called to stay connected with my own pain and su"ering in the manner God has embraced my most vulnerable, painful self on the cross. In that way I

participate in the resurrection process of creating a heal-ing and hospitable community where we can drink our cup and “become whole,” including our pain and su"er-ing, in the presence of Love.

No wonder one Hebrew word for “compassion” is the plural form of “womb,” the place where a new life is born out of pain. Our ministry may well be a divine order for us to be the spiritual midwives who call forth love out of fear, hope out of despair, and faith out of doubt – not by our reasoning, but by our compassionate presence. May our pastoral care !nd our Lord’s new blessings each day, in our process of lifetime growth, self-integration and healing.References:Visiting Nurse Service of New York http://www.vnsny.orghttp://www.vnsny.org/our-services/by-life-event/hos-pice/ National Consensus Project http://www.nationalcon-sensusproject.org/http://www.nationalconsensusproject.org/guideline.pdf

Kei Okada was born in New York City, raised in Kanaza-wa, Japan and has resided in New York since 1984. Kei is an ordained minister of American Baptist Churches USA. He completed Clinical Pastoral Education programs at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, NY Methodist Hospital, and NY Presbyterian Hospital (“Program for Children with AIDS” clinic).

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The Pastoral CounselorElizabeth Ritzman

Hello. I am Rev. Elizabeth Ritzman, LCPC. I have

a great church where I have served for over 20 years but I am not the Pastor.

I share the powerful presence of God with the people I am paid to serve; but I “witness” to them about my salvation rarely and seldom pray with them.

$e people I serve know I am a minister, but few know where I live, or the !rst thing about my family, or that I’m Baptist. I serve and see these people as the body of Christ but they have never met each other.

Who am I? I am a Pastoral Counselor. We are your colleagues, but much of our work, by its

nature, is hidden from the view of mainstream ministry, and the Ministers Council may miss realizing the gifts of this specialized ministry that takes place for the sake of our community.

Pastoral counselors work at the intersection of religion and psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is an English word of Latin and Greek origin:

Psyche: 1640’s “animating spirit,” from the Latin, psyche; and from Greek. psykhe: “the soul, mind, spirit, breath, life, the invisible animating principle or entity which occupies and directs the physical body.”

$erapy: 1846, “medical treatment of disease,” from Modern Latin, therapia; and from Greek therapeia: “curing, healing,” from therapeuein: “to cure, treat medically,” literal-ly, “attend, do service, take care of;” and related to therapon: “servant, attendant” (Online Etymology Dictionary).

Today we understand psychotherapy as a talking therapy focused on knowing the ‘self .’ Carl Jung equated the self with the Soul or God-Within. In many theological frames, knowing the self is central to knowing God. Although much more secular models dominate the !eld today, in its origins psychotherapy was described as the ‘cure of souls’ and the foundational concepts of psychotherapy have really never been entirely separated from spirituality.

As psychotherapy developed as a profession, it increas-ingly understood the ‘self ’ or individual in the broader con-text of families, communities and cultures. $is is similar to ministry’s understanding of the territory of the minister or

pastor. For pastoral counselors, the domains of psychol-ogy and spirituality are strongly connected.

As ministers and psychotherapists, pastoral counselors are working with two extremely potent paradigms of power in American culture. Although our only intention may be to help others, our position as both pastor and counselor establishes us as a gatekeeper for access to God and psyche. $is gives us enormous power – socially and spiritually. In the hidden worlds where we contend with human frailty and su"ering, this role surrounds us and those we serve with multiple and powerful dynamics such as healing, humility, wisdom, strength, sacrament, absolution, condemnation, forgiveness, love, and humili-ation. It puts us in a position to confront the emotional and spiritual nakedness of those we serve as well as our own.

I believe that God is speci!cally present in all our encounters with those we serve in a pastoral counseling practice. A hymn from the Southern Hymnody teaches, “All of life is sacrament and every breath is prayer.” I believe this presence of God brings both pastor and cli-ent signi!cant power to do work we might not otherwise be able to do. I feel extremely privileged to work inside these two very powerful roles.

I am awed by the trust people place in me when they privilege me with their stories. I have seen such power taken by either party in the direction of good or evil, to-ward healing or wounding. Consequently, in the relation-ships pastoral counselors establish, each of us must take the most extreme e"ort to be honest with ourselves and our clients about our use of this power. Ethical use of our power requires us to separate and hold our own beliefs in the discipline of silence so we may create su&cient space for the expression of the faith-lives of our clients.

For evangelicals, this may seem a controversial in-terpretation of the call to ministry. However for me it deepens my trust in the movement of God in the lives of other persons. In other words, this discipline forces me to trust God more than my own in%uence. Our respect for clients, a commitment to empowerment and full equality with them, and a discipline to hold them in our highest regard at every point in their care, are non-negotiable when we enter into someone’s life in the role of pastoral counselor.Who are Pastoral Counselors?

Pastoral Counselors are specialized ministers who are dually trained in theology (usually M.Div.) and who are also trained therapists, with another degree that leads to licensing by their state as mental health providers. $e work we do is highly con!dential, and that con!dential-ity is regulated by the professional disciplines to which we are accountable. It is an expectation of the clients


we serve, of the denominations who endorse us, and state licensing boards. And that’s the short list.

Consequently the ministry of pastoral counseling is a private one, much less public than the role of a church pastor. According to the rules of church endorsement and the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, each one must maintain a lively relationship with members of their local congregation, who provide accountability and nurture as well as a spiritual home.

Practically, being a pastoral counselor is a fairly lonely enterprise. Whether you are working in a solo practice, as part of a multi-disciplinary group, or in an agency, it takes determination and focus to get time and support from colleagues whose schedules are !lled with clients, right up to the moments when they need to go home. We plan ahead to have brief phone conversations with each other or schedule peer review meetings and sacri!ce the billable sessions that could otherwise !ll those hours.

Just as for most ministers, evening and weekend hours are the norm; and it’s sometimes hard to !nd work-life bal-ance. Most pastoral counselors are on ‘contract;’ that means they are paid on each hour of client contact they deliver, and they don’t have bene!ts or paid leave. $is makes at-tending retreats or conferences an expensive endeavor for them, or for any institution’s department in which they may work. Where do we work?

While some pastoral counselors work in congregations, it is a rare congregation that will decide they can a"ord to add such a specialist to their sta". Among the many mod-els for this ministry, most pastoral counselors I know work in group practices with therapists and other mental health clinicians, in non-pro!t agencies, or in private solo practice. $ere is no denominational support or infrastructure for the ministry of pastoral counseling; no salary support for the emerging practice, no corner church where we have an o&ce or ‘congregation’ waiting to be served.

One of the greatest delights in my call came after earn-ing my counseling masters and during my !rst year work-ing on my M.Div.; I was o"ered an internship at one of the four Chicago area wholistic health centers begun by Granger Westburg in the 1970’s. $is model of ministry matched the vision I’d had in Kansas, where a variety of congregations in the same community would collaborate and subscribe to the resources of pastoral counselors on behalf of their own and area congregations. $ose churches provided space and phones and often subsidized the care of their congregants and people from the community. We kept our fees low, our quality high and our pro!le out in the community as we cultivated relationships with other

community agencies and congregations as referral part-ners. Perhaps this is a viable model for your congrega-tion.What do we do?

We do everything that a psychotherapist does: engage clients, diagnose, and treat. But pastoral counselors are also trained to listen for the narrative of the clients’ faith journeys, their spiritual resources and needs, while at the same time holding our own faith lightly enough that it does not intrude on the sacred space we are creating in the therapy. Having the courage to stay emotionally present with clients who do not have a for-sure faithful solution to everything, who may just be angry with God, or who pretty much could not care less, is a baseline es-sential for a pastoral counselor.

$e moments when we are sitting with clients who are imposing the same ine"ective and painful spiritual frameworks on themselves over and over require similar courage. All these covenants for counseling require from the pastoral counselor courage and an internal sense of hope, as well as a sense of vision to see the emerging gifts of clients as they are coming closer and closer to the persons God intended them to be.

Clients come to us through many paths. Some clients are seeking a counselor who will share their spiritual values. Some identify as Christian, and others do not. Some are just looking for the therapist closest to them on their insurance list of providers. Some come on personal referrals from pastors, friends, doctors or other trusted folks. Many of these are other professionals who have recognized that the limits of their time and skills will not permit them to provide the needed care. Often, we are now found on the Internet. In all of these cases, working with a pastoral counselor can be a profound and healing experience.

Many times when clients see that I am not only a therapist but also a pastoral counselor, they hope they have found someone aligned with their faith and beliefs. Usually by the third session when trust starts to build I have begun to learn something about what that means to them. Often I hear stories of hurtful experiences with faith communities that are begging for resolu-tion. I work hard to align with them in those moments while allowing su&cient space in the room for their own beliefs, griefs, hope and faith to enter in.

I have learned that when I do not defend “$e Faith” against their disappointments or “Preach” to !ll the space left by wounds or doubt and then have enough courage to quietly shepherd the space between us, that over time God !nds a way to slip in and becomes a resource right there in the room for us both with the work we have before us. I have the great privilege over


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and over of seeing clients who grasp the opportunity to harvest sorrow for hope and gladness, and see depression and anxiety fade and hurting relationships heal.

I invite you to think about how you can connect with, consult or otherwise engage the rich resources of the pas-toral counselors who are your colleagues. Contact me if you have suggestions, or want to hear some of my ideas. A native of rural Kansas, Betsy Ritzman is an ordained min-ister in the American Baptist Churches of the USA, a pastoral counselor and a licensed clinical professional counselor in Il-linois. Previously Betsy directed Midwest Resources, a church-based counseling practice with nine locations in metro Chicago and the AIDS Pastoral Care Network at Access Community Health Network. Contact her at [email protected].

Ministering to Soldiers and FamiliesBrett and Colleen Charsky

As a family we have en-joyed going to di"erent

historic battle !elds, read-ing the plaques and taking pictures of the monuments. A couple of years ago, I attended the Chief of Chaplain’s An-nual Sustainment Training in Gettysburg, PA. During our down time, we spent almost two days touring and listen-ing to the CD teach us about the di"erent battles. $ough I

had been there before, this was the !rst time as a chap-lain in the Army Reserves. I listened, learned, and re-ally thought about the families of all those who lost loved ones here.

As a nation we have put signi!cant time and funds into caring for these battle!elds and monuments, but it may be surprising that it was only after veterans returned home from the Persian Gulf War in 1991, that the Army began to address the deployment issues impacting soldiers and their families. Up until that time, no one seemed to care about the needs of the deployed soldier’s family; therefore, the e"ects of war upon the soldier and family were neglected.


Today, the Army is doing a lot of research on the ef-fects of soldiers and families when soldiers deploy multiple times in rapid succession. $e cycle for many soldiers is home for a year, gone for a year, and return home, only to pack up and move and prepare for yet another deployment. $e deployment rate is not as frequent for National Guard or Army Reserve soldiers, but it still impacts the soldier, the family, and their civilian work.

On active duty there are many resources, from which a soldier or the family can draw strength and help to cope with the rigors of military life. $ere is also a closer knit “family” atmosphere where spouses of deployed soldiers band together, especially during deployment. Although there are still issues in active duty families, since I am an Army Reserve Chaplain I am going to focus here on the National Guard or Army Reserve soldier.

When I joined the Army Reserve Chaplain Corps in 2000, one of the instructors said, “It is no longer if the Army Reserve Chaplains or the National Guard Chaplains will be involved, rather, when and how often.” Of course none of us thought he would be correct three years later. When the terrorists %ew those two planes into the World Trade Towers, the plane into the Pentagon, and the other one that crashed north of Pittsburgh, life for all soldiers changed, and it has not returned to “normal.”

I completed my !rst 1 year deployment from February 2003 to March 2004 in Iraq. Now, I am back for my sec-ond deployment to Iraq. I have talked with many soldiers who are currently on their 4th or 5th deployment. Some of those are voluntary, others are on orders. For most Na-tional Guard and Army Reserve soldiers and their families, the bottom line is that deployment has now become an accepted (or integrated) part of our lives.

Each deployment is di"erent for both the soldiers and their families. During my !rst deployment, my oldest son, Justin went from just taking a few steps to running to meet me in the airport when I came home. Colleen went through her second pregnancy by herself and had a doula be with her as she delivered Micah. $ough I was sched-uled to come home, Micah decided to come two weeks early, so I missed his birth and a one-week stay in the Neonatal ICU.

My second deployment e"ects Justin (8), Micah (7), and Lexi (5), who we adopted only 10 months prior to my departure. $e children are more aware of my absence on a daily basis and especially on important days, like birth-days and holidays. However, they are also more responsive when I am able to Skype or talk on the phone.

Understanding what the family experiences can help the church minister to Army Reserve and National Guard soldiers and their families during deployment. One of the

new slogans of the Army is, “You recruit a soldier, but retain a family.” $is is an important concept as now the ratio of married to non-married soldier is about 60%-40%. If the military wants to retain soldiers, they must be concerned about the family and address the issues they face.

Galatians 6:10 (NIV) says, “$erefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” It is essential that the church develop a plan once a soldier has been mobilized and carry through with it till the soldier returns.

I think the church can and ought to learn from what the Army o"ers families as they go through what is called the Deployment Cycle Support (DCS). $e seven phases are: 1. Train-up/preparation. 2. Mobiliza-tion. 3. Deployment. 4. Employment. 5. Redeploy-ment. 6. Post-deployment. 7. Reconstitution. I will give a brief description of each phase (which comes from the Army Deployment Cycle Support Presenta-tion), the stressor that is connected to that phase, and how it a"ects the soldiers and families.

In the Train-up/preparation Phase: Soldiers begin to prepare for deployment through physical, mental, and emotional training through briefs to prepare them for combat. Here is one segment of the briefs they receive.

10 Tough Facts about Combata. Fear in combat is commonb. Unit members will be injured and killedc. $ere will be communication and informa-

tion breakdownd. Soldiers frequently perceive failures in lead-

ershipe. Combat impacts every soldier mentally and

emotionallyf. Combat often leads to lasting adverse mental

health e"ectsg. Soldiers are afraid to admit that they have a

mental health problemh. Deployments place a tremendous strain on

familiesi. $e combat environment is harsh and de-

mandingj. Combat poses moral and ethical challenges

In this phase, the church should recognize that the family may be anxious and needs reminders that the church is fully supportive of the family and begins to o"er minimal assistance. Individuals could provide child care to permit the couple to go out on a date.


Mobilization Phase: Units or individuals are alerted for possible deployment and undergo preparation. During the mobilization stage, administrative actions, brie!ngs, training, counseling, and medical evaluations are completed to ensure all soldiers and their families are prepared for extended deployments.

Since the soldier spends more time away from home in preparation, the church should become more active in helping meet the family needs. $e level of care de-pends upon the age of children: help the spouse pick up children from activities, o"er child care for spouse appointments.

Deployment Phase: Units or individuals deploy from America or other countries into the designated theater.

Recognize that the spouse may exhibit signs of loss and a sense of being overwhelmed. $e church should become active in the family by: car care, inviting the spouse out for lunch or to go shopping, providing meals, maintenance issues, child care and the previous mentioned ones, to name a few.

Employment Phase: During the employment stage, units or individuals perform their assigned mis-sion in support of the Joint Force Commander for a prescribed period of time. Employment stage tasks include recurring administrative actions and brie!ngs, training, and counseling for soldiers departing theater on emergency leave, R&R, and medical evacuation.

$e church should remain connected spiritually, emo-tionally, physically, and socially to the family by calling or checking in frequently.

Redeployment Phase: $e redeployment stage is the process of reintegrating soldiers into their predeployment environments. Redeployment stage tasks include admin-istrative actions, brie!ngs, training, and counseling for soldiers and DA civilians departing theater and family members at home station.

$e church welcomes home the soldier with joy and blesses the family with opportunities for the couple to go on dates to reconnect. Life has changed for everyone; be sensitive to their time and permit them to have boundar-ies.

Post-Deployment Phase: $e post-deployment stage consists of administrative actions, brie!ngs, training, counseling, and medical evaluations to facilitate the successful reintegration of soldiers and DA civilians into their families and communities.

Reconstitution Phase: Soldiers continue the process of reintegrating into their families, communities, and civilian jobs. Administrative actions, brie!ngs, training, counseling, and medical evaluations are completed dur-ing the reconstitution stage.

$e pastor should be available to address any reintegra-tion relationship issues.

When a church understands that families need to be cared for throughout the entire cycle, then churches are able to speak love through actions to soldiers and families. One thing that has helped our family is when people o"er a speci!c service instead of o"ering a general “call if you need anything.” $en you know who to ask for what. If the church fails to come alongside of the family during the deployment, then the opportunity to bless the family is missed.

$e church that actively demonstrates love through actions is able to encourage, strengthen, and bless the spouse and family, which blesses soldiers because they know that their family is being cared for while they are away. Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will ful!ll the law of Christ.”

Brett Charsky graduated from the US Army Chaplain Of-"cer Basic Course on August 31 2000. He started serving as a US Army Reserve Chaplain for the 413th Quartermaster Battalion in Oct 2000 and deployed for the "rst time in April 2003 to Iraq. He is currently deployed to Iraq for a second tour with the 109th Chaplain Detachment Unit. He has served the Pulaski Baptist Church, Pulaski, NY for the past 12 years, since May 1998, and is married to his wife of 13 years, Colleen.


9:00 am - Rev. Dr. Sarah L. Fogg (Chaplain), Director, Pastoral Care Department, St. John’s Riverside Hos-pital, Yonkers, NY; 18 years in ordained ministry, all as Founder and Director of (2) pastoral care departments in community hospitals; author and former college profes-sor at Illinois Wesleyan and Clemson Universities; MDiv from Union $eological Seminary in New York City and PhD in Comparative Literature from Indiana University; member of Ministers Council 18 years; expository and personal preaching style.

9:30 am - Rev. Marc Fields (Seminarian), Associ-ate Minister, Riverview Baptist Church, Richmond, VA; May 2011 will complete MDiv at Samuel DeWitt Proctor School of $eology, Virginia Union University, Richmond, VA; August, will begin hospital residency for the MS in Patient Counseling at Virginia Common-wealth University School of Allied Health Professionals; Marc plans to pursue a doctorate in theology; dialectical preaching style.

10:00 am - Rev. Miriam Méndez (Latino/a-American), Pastor, Esperanza Church, a new ABC Spanish church in Portland, Oregon; a native New Yorker and Puerto Rican; 15 years in pastoral ministry in both English and Span-ish speaking congregations; MDiv and multiple Spiritual Formation Certi!cates from George Fox Evangelical Seminary, Portland, Oregon; certi!ed Spiritual Director and Adjunct Professor at George Fox Seminary, teaching in the !eld of spiritual leadership, grief counseling, and spiritual direction; Ministers Council Senator and ABC of Oregon Ministers Council Executive Team and Pas-toral Services Committee; preaching style is “expository, narrative, exhortation with eye on application.”

10:30 am – Rev. Dr. Stephen Hre Kio (Asian), Pastor, Indiana Chin Baptist Church, Indianapolis, IN; BD from William Carey’s $eological College, West Bengal, India, in 1963 - the !rst BD graduate from Chin State, Burma (now Myanmar); ordained in 1963 by the Hakha Baptist Association; PhD from Emory University, Atlanta, GA, 1979; 15 years in local church ministry as Pastor of Falam Baptist Church in Burma and 25 years as Bible Translation Consultant throughout the Paci!c with the United Bible Societies; translator of the entire Bible into the Falam Chin dialect and author of books on Baptism and Pastoral $eology; currently training Baptist Pastors in Burma, writing commentaries on the NT, and pastoring a church of more than 900.

11:00 am - Rev. Dr. Zina Jacque (African-American), Senior Pastor, Community Church of Barrington, IL; MDiv and $D from Boston University; degrees in theol-ogy, personnel administration, and psychology; 13 years in ministry, serving on sta"s of multicultural, urban, and suburban churches, both large and small; Founder and Director for !ve years of the Pastoral Counseling Center at Trinity Church, Boston; extensive work in educational administration, counseling, and support programs; Secre-tary for regional Ministers Council Executive Committee and participant in the Women’s Colloquium sponsored by MMBB; preaching style is narrative, expository.

11:30 am - Michael Harvey (European-American), Executive Director, $e Conference of Baptist Ministers in Massachusetts; 45 years of ordained ministry, includ-ing a rural church in Kentucky and two urban churches in Chicago; MDiv from Trinity Evangelical, Deer!eld, IL; Ministers Council Senator; dialogical preaching style.

Ministers Council Preaching PavilionABCUSA Biennial

San Juan, Puerto Rico9 am – 12 noon

Saturday, June 25, 2011


Published periodically as a forum for issues and events that pertain to ministry as observed and practiced by ministerial leaders of the American Baptist Churches

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Documents

iministerscouncil.com/archives/magazine/minmag2011-04.pdf · rates on three models of ministry: shepherd, wounded healer, and wise fool. Sarah Fogg helps us make sense of the grief