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The Kiwi

The Magazine of the oAuckland University

Editor -

Sub-Editor

Business Manager

Committee

J . N . W I L S O N , LL.B.

- Miss W . E . M C N I C K L E , B.A.

S . V O N S T U R M E R

M I S S D . W . P O U N D , M I S S M . B . F O R D E , B .A. ;

A . K . T U R N E R , M.A., LL.B. , A . B . T H O M P S O N , M.A., J . C . A N D R E W S , M.SC.

P u b l i s h e d by the Auckland Univers i ty College S t u d e n t s ' Associa t ion ( Inc . ) P r in t ed by the Dawson P r i n t i n g Co. , 407 Queen St . , Auckland

(All Rights Reserved)

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N Y O U R C A L M E R M O M E N T S

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Qontents

Editorial

The Tournament Concert

A Fragment

"Kiwi" Comes of Age

Evolution of a Professor

My Ideal University

" P u n c h " — A n Appreciation

The Moonlight Road

Tact

Page

5

6

6

7

7

8

9

10

10

Further Adventures of Sindbad the Sailor 11

Vogue of the Macintosh

Crescent Day

Graduates of the Year

Tennis Tournament

Power of the Press -

Whafyatane

The Glorious Dead -

A Lecture on Men -

Sir Roger de Coverley in Town

12

12

13

18

19

21

22

23

24

The Part-time Student

Convict 49 -

Unskilled Labour -

Even Falls -

Credo -

Women's W o r l d : A Garden Par ty

A Matter of Opinion

The Tale of Macbeth

Vexed Questions

Phew !

Reports of Clubs and Societies

De Mortuis

Very Early in the Morning -

Bond Street Babblings

College Sports - .

Inter-'Varsity Tournament

A . U . C . Book Review

Personal Notes

Page

26

27

28

29

29

30

30

31

32

33

34

39

39

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42

45

51

52

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Shopping Headquarters for Men, Young Men and Boys

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V O L U M E 2 1 . N O . 1 T H £ M A G A Z I N E O F T H E A U C K L A N D U N I V E R S I T Y C O L L E G E MAY, 1 9 2 6

i!l!ltlll!l!lll!!!|ii;ii:!:!i*r:M :!"!!liili!!ll!|i;:i:l;!l!ili'!iilll|i!l!i!li:!;i!lllllll!!ill!i!]1'Ili'l'1 P. 1''! Illllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllifflllllllllllllilillllllllllllllllllllllllilll

Editorial THE GOLDEN AGE

We're out to seek an Age of Gold beyond the Spanish Main

V ^ E have passed through the wilderness, we have crossed the Jordan, we have entered into the

Promised Land. W e have endured the persecu-tions of the vulgar, the sneers of the more fortunate and the procrastination of the political time server, but—swing doors now invite us to a fairyland, a lofty tower now indicates the upward path, and soon four clocks will vie with each other to teach us punctuality. On one side the Library elevates our thoughts; on the other—well, there is the Col-lege Hall (nee Music Room) where we hold dances, debates, theatricals, what you will.

Most wonderful of all (this must surely be the Golden Age) Auckland is beginning to be proud of us. The ugly duckling has become a swan. Most disconcerting, doubtless, to those who turned up their noses at the uncouth chick, but undeniable nevertheless. W e have decided that we like being a swan. It is a position as far removed on the one hand from the sordid end of the meat-vendor's duck as, on the other hand, from the strictly utilitarian existence of the farm-yard bird. No one ever heard of a swan (or a kiwi either, for that matter) being entered in an egg-laying contest.

Perhaps some vision of this swan-like existence inspired the worthy architect in his design and his plans. W e cannot say. But we can and do ten-der our most hearty congratulations to the man who was great enough to uphold the claims of Art against those of Utility even to the point of ig-noring the existence of the force of gravity.

There is something most inspiring about our new College. Professors and lecturers, whom previous-

ly we had regarded (be it said with all reverence) as being distinctly dull, now rise to such a pitch of eloquence that the walls themselves catch their words and repeat them with a delighted emphasis; while at the lectures of the more oratorical the dumb stones find tongues and shout aloud their applause.

More than the mere outward shell of the old building was left behind when we moved into the new. Old traditions, venerable only from their age, are being abandoned. New traditions of a more corporate existence, no longer limited by the bounds of lectures and society meetings, are spring-ing up. New traditions that go deeper than and beyond the little circles of friends, and even the warmest individual friendships, which endeared the old habitation to us, have taken root and are growing. It is the death-knell of cliques, of cabals, and internecine ill-feeling, and petty inter-faculty jealousies. It is the dissolution of the bonds that bound together too many of the full-time students in a self-absorbed, self-satisfied ignorance of the claims of their College upon their time, money and energy. It is the destruction of that fatal attitude of superior isolation adopted by the professional faculties of Law, Commerce, and En-gineering.

Our present position mightily resembles that of a drawing half finished, with traditions, old and new, good, bad, and indifferent, roughly sketched in. W e are now in the happy position of being able to take our indiarubber, erase the effete, the worthless, and the retrogressive, and to draw in boldly with

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liberal strokes the vigorous, the worthy, and the progressive. W e are at the parting of the ways, but our feet are set upon the road that leads to Eldorado—the City of the Golden Age.

And yet—and yet—we cannot step out with bold strides that would bring our destination within a day's march. W e must shuffle along like convicts with a heavy weight chained to our ankles. The galling irony of it is that the chain that binds it there is forged by the very persons who should, instead, have winged our feet like Mercury's for the journey. Not distrust nor suspicion of our ambitions, thank God! actuates the authorities, but something in effect just as disastrous—mistrust of our capabilities. Dear Sirs! we are not children fresh from the games of childhood, nor have we been brought up in the homes of the wealthy secluded from the struggles of this commercial age like novitiates in monastery cells. Though young

in years, we are not without experience in the affairs of this world or administrative ability to make use of that experience. The success of last year's Carnival Play demonstrated that. Give us your confidence, unloose the chains, speed us on our way !

Our Golden Age is in sight. This year, indeed, our prowess at Tournament has reached its lowest ebb, but our reputation for turning out sportsmen has not suffered. The Wooden Spoon is with us again, but this year we have gained an ideal that far outweighs any material loss—the ideal from which shall grow the tradition of service, of placing the welfare of our College before all else. Per-sonal advancement, honour or gain are neglected in this ideal, no sacrifice is too great if it brings us nearer our goal. And with such a spirit moving we are very near our Golden Age.

The Tournament Concert

T o T H E E D I T O R .

Dear Sir,—I am so sorry your Tournament Concert wasn't a success. But please I don't think you ought to expect people to pay half-a-crown just to be bored by a stupid old concert. Don't you think you ought to give us something we could all of us enjoy ? Now, if you had a little dance, with a good band and all the latest jazz music, and streamers and coloured lights for some of the dances, and a nice simple supper. You know what I mean, oyster patties and asparagus rolls and trifle and fruit salad, and plenty of claret cup, real claret cup with a kick in it not just pink lemonade, and some good cigars for the boys. That would be just lovely, and if you charged 2 / - I know everybody would go and you'd make lots of money.

I am etc.,

D I S A P P O I N T E D .

A gentleman well known to fame Is Meiklejohn (Gawd ! What a name / )

For aloof with the great, Tho' not of them, he sate,

On the da}) when the Governor came.

A Fragment By " T A L U S . "

/tND loe, they come unto a mightie roome, All like a dungeon deep beneath the ground;

A caverne 'twas, and fild with darkling gloome, With mony an idle whispere circling round; 7 here youths and damsells fayre were to be found. High above all, an ielder mon there weare; Quoth he, This roome is very bad for sound. Ful mony wordes he spake, but none could heare; In vain they cal aloud, O great sire, pray speak

cleare. A thrilling feeling sounded then close bye Of bells; the ielder mon exceeding wise Doth gin retire; forthwith there riseth bye A mightie noyce, an hundred chattering cries Of swaines and maydens fayre; and now one hies Him from that roome unto the upper light Some frounce their bobbed haire in courtly guise, Some straighten tyes, and others trimly dight Their gaily hued attire... Soon all shine fayre

and bright. A gentle Knight comes pricking on the playne, Unto the platformes hight himself doth rayse. 0 prithee sire (cry all) come down agayne, For thee we cannot heare. He them obeyes. "Ful sore am I the curtaines lack see> (Ne curtaines had the windowes in those dayes) The peple that pass bye doe wave to me; 1 nervous am, and shye." All laughen heartilee.

[ 6 ] i!!'MIII!l!II!lli!:l!iiil:illllilllillllW

^liiiI.: • •; ::.:tti! i- iM-iiiiMiiiiifUM'niiiiiiiM:!.] T H E K I W I liimiiiiiHiiiiiHiniuuimiiiimiimiiniiHiiiiniuiiiiiRimifiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiHinnmiiniiininiHiiiiiniiiin *,

"The Kiwi" Comes of Age r p W E N T Y - O N E Y E A R S ! "The Kiwi"

looked round the banquet table. On his right sat his old friend "The Spike," from Victoria Col-lege, enlivening the conversation with a running fire of quips, jokes and absurdities in his well-known brilliant style. On his left was the genial "Review," from Canterbury College, whose well-bred con-versation formed the backbone of the talk, and opposite was "The Otago Review," short and stout with a keen sense of humour and an occasional flash of wit that set the whole table rocking with laughter.

Twenty-one years ! "The Kiwi" glowed com-fortably. They had dined well. A light soup of Club Reports and had followed by savoury of Quo-tations, entree of Humorous Articles, roast of Edi-torials, sweets of Serious Prose, and dessert of Serious Verse. Wine of best Light Verse had added zest to the banquet and sparkle to the con-versation.

Twenty-one years ! Some fat, some lean, some robust, some sickly. Well, he had weathered the storm and attained his majority. Some editors (he smiled at the remembrance of the "Review's" ri-diculous derivation of the word from edere) had

fed him on the plain fare of matters of University interest only. He had lost strength then, had dwindled, as "The Spike ' expressed it, into a sort of white elephant. Fancy a Kiwi dwindling into an elephant !

Twenty-one years ! Twenty-one years of de-pendence, nursed along by his kindly foster-nurse, the Students' Association. But he was full-grown now and could earn his own living, could stand by himself and grow and glory in his strength. He could feel his circulation increasing, and he looked ahead a few years to the time when he would be read not only by Students and Univer-sity men but by the general reading public from North Cape to The Bluff. He was ambitious, young, strong and confident.

Twenty-one years ! The others were singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" now. They were all jolly good fellows, jolly good fellows. Heigh-ho! he was getting sleepy; but no one must tell him it was time for bed because he was his own master now. Bad years and good years, it had been a good life on the whole. And now, "Auld Lang Syne."

E V O L U T I O N OF A P R O F E S S O R Another proof that History repeats itself

1 T H E K I W I | * ,„„„ *

M y Ideal Univers i ty "Millions now living will never die !"

J j ^ O R some of us, who had expected to watch the Last Day dawning slowly, from the decent

composure of graves an aeon or two old, the new University College has given to these words cried in the wilderness a sudden and startling reality. It seems that the true ideal of a University is to be attained for the first time in the history of the world: the millennium has come appreciably nearer. To prayers ! To prayers ! This article is written in the hopes of bringing others to the realisation that the foundations of New Jerusalem are indeed being laid in Auckland's green and pleasant land—and to repentance in time.

For some months I had been impressed by a cer-tain inevitable rightness in the management of the new College. Dozens of fluent newspaper articles indicated the smoothness and perfection with which everything was running. But it was only at the Opening Ceremony, when I observed the list of speakers and the occupants of the platform and re-served seats, that the great principle involved was born in upon me. At last, at last, even University Education shows signs of breaking free from the dishonest tradition that has held sway so long ! Here and now is being appointed the great funda-mental of just business: "Nothing for Nothing"; in its positive aspect: "The man who pays the piper calls the tune.'

It is for this reason that our little citadel has no fence. The taxpayer undoubtedly furnished the money for the building. Shall he not, there-fore, be free to roam as he will over his own ? And shall not his hopeful son and daughter write upon the tinted walls if they wish ? Or, in sentimental moods, couple their names with those of fiance and fiancee within an arrow-pierced heart ? This privilege the taxpayer has bought, but mark you, tha student has not !

There are many other privileges, however, that must be delegated by the taxpayer to a few. These godfathers of the new College will be failing in their duty to the Owners if they do not extract the utmost use and enjoyment from their trust. The indications that they are prepared to do so fill me with the fullest hopes of a speedy dispersion of the darkness of this world's night. Everyone will rejoice in the magnificent furnishings of the Council Room and the President's room. It is believed that ultimately the Authorities will take

up their residence in Princes Street. The cloisters will provide admirable sleeping room for fresh-air enthusiasts. Meanwhile the Authorities can do a great deal of entertaining there; the place will hold a large number even of Auckland's fattest and most prosperous citizens. In case this idea has not occurred to them, I would suggest that the building simply lends itself to Valentine Parties. O moonlit cloisters ! O hide-and-seek-in-the dark ! The thrill of slipping past without touching on those narrow stairs an unseen Presence that can only half suppress its loud breathing ! O shrieks and giggles echoing through corridor and tower ! I trust I am not being impious in hoping that the millennium will not come before I have earned an invitation to one of the Authorities' parties. I shall start at once to make a fortune in tallow. I must conceal the fact that I passed in two subjects of the B. A . examination, though. The possession of a degree is so likely to lay one open to the damning suspicion of poverty !

The University must indeed become the social centre of Auckland. To this end the grounds are being laid out so as to form an ideal site for fashionable garden parties. The Authorities will give the lead with one or two of their select little functions, and then the cloisters, terraces, gardens, lawns, tennis courts will be laid at the disposal of Mrs. Buff-Orpington and the rest, who will lend 'tone' to the unemotional white stucco. In they will come, from Princes Street, from Symonds Street, and all the streets East of New-market, and the reproach will be taken away from Our University.

It appears that one of the main functions of the New B uilding will be to provide accommo-dation for a number of ladies known as I .F .U.W. There exists some uncertainty as to this body: the meaning of their name I cannot enlighten the pub-lic about (but I am sure that it is neither Inde-pendent Frenziedly Useful Women, nor Indis-putably Frightfully Ugly Women). No one is quite sure why they need a room in the new build-ing; they are said to have protested that they will not be there often. I believe the reason is the Tower. Ladies are always so proud of wedding cake — to sleep on, you know. Sweet dreams to I .F .U.W. whatever it may mean !

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il T H E K I W I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii *

Anj'one who examines the plan of the building will observe that there are a large number of smallish rooms. Ultimately, as has been hinted above, the Authorities will take up their residence in them. In the meantime, however, they have with great generosity lent them (some furnished, some partly furnished, some unfurnished) to a number of homeless persons with long strings of degrees after their names. All except a few of these are of a discouragingly retiring disposition ; but the gowns of some lend colour to such affairs as Opening Ceremonies. Their presence must be tolerated for a time, but undoubtedly rightful own-ership will in the end prevail, and these learned encumbrances, together with some twelve hundred other nuisances, can be banished.

If New Zealand were not still labouring under the painfully dishonest anachronism of Free Edu-cation, the millennium might begin in the College to-morrow. The more progressive of the Authorities are turning their abilities to this end, and their labours cannot but bear fruit. Meanwhile, with com-mendable condescension, they are allowing the larger rooms in thq building to be used as lecture

rooms, and have also provided some hat-pegs and unbreakable crockery (which of course will be as good as ever when the rightful owners claim it). There are a large number of students, but they will soon be dispersed; because the Progressive Party will refuse admission, first, to part-time stu-dents and then to scholars and bursars; only those paying with their own money or their parents' money need apply ! By this simple but masterly scheme the abuses of the present system will be done away with. ( " H o w long, O Lord, how long?" )

That great day will dawn when Auckland Uni-versity College will give a lead to the world. Let invitations be issued at once for the Commemora-ative Banquet, to be eaten off polished tables, with the unbreakable crockery and the uncrested silver spoons. Let there be a Re-opening Ceremony unembarrassed by the presence of Professors or Students. On the site of the former Common Rooms let there be founded a University Club with property qualifications. Then at last will Auckland be known by nothing more distinguished than by her University !

44 Punch ( A N A P P R E C I A T I O N )

T)UNCH is the aristocrat of tiie press. Long lineage with high ideals has produced the per-

fectly-bred gentleman! Never vulgar, never base, never bitter, never mean, never petty, he possesses a self-control that the proudest peer of Bourbon France would have envied. He is urbane; he is colloquial. H e is intensely patriotic; he is nega-tively political. H e is superbly proud; he is di-vinely sympathetic. Witty, humorous, scathing, sincere, humane and generous, he hurts, he soothes, he wounds, he heals, destroys, he creates.

He is essentially English—more truly represen-tative of the Englishman with his cheery optimism, amazing tolerance and political indifference than even that staunch roast-beef Briton, The Times. Indeed when one considers the comparatively re-cent growth of these characteristics, there are surely grounds for argument as to whether Punch is the cause or the effect: perhaps he is one as much as the other. A t any rate, he reflects the English-man's most transitory moods with the clearness of the most highly polished mirror, and with all the sensitiveness of the most delicate of barometers, records his feelings. Yet Punch never allows him-

self to be carried away by a wave of false enthus- = iasm. | |

It is as a humorist that Punch is best known, M but some of his serious cartoons have set a stand- H ard which has never been approached. One of the g earlier of these was published before the American g Civil War , and was a comment, more scathingly g effective than thousands of speeches, on the diver- g gence between American principles and practice. M It showed Columbia calm and serene, with her eyes g fixed on the distant heights, and underneath her J foot a kneeling negro slave, and in her hand a g scourge. It is dedicated " T o the Freest Country g on Ear th ! " M

Punch, the humorist, humpbacked, hideous, lov- M able. Criterion for all others, he sets a standard g of perfect taste and rich humour. W h o has not g laughed at the exasperated policeman on duty out- g side the Tower of London, who, in answer to g the Dear Old Lady's question, "Pray , constable, g which is the Bloody Tower?" replied "Al l of 'em, g Mum, all of 'em ?" Where else but in Punch g will you find such a delightful spectacle as that of M a man, proposing to the lady of his heart, wear- g

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T H E K I W I *

ing inter alia an air of great earnestness and fer-vour, a childish tiny hat, and a false nose ? It takes Punch's delicate perception to bring out the contrast of the seriousness of the declarant and the absurd funniness of his decorations. And only Punch could label him "The Devout Lover." * Punch revels in an absurdity of any kind. As most things in this most imperfect world are sub-ject to the Reductio ad Adsurdum principle, Punch does useful work in preserving the sanity of the race by ridiculing extremists. The Ameri-cans, with their passion for progress, are naturally the heaviest sufferers but no one is immune. • With parody, sketch and (sometimes) plain criticism

„,„„„,. „* undisguised, Punch doles out the penalty for eccen-tricity.

Punch -lives. No one can honestly doubt the fact. He lives and inspires his writers and artists, raising them from the slough of mediocrity to. the heights of genius. It appears impossible to do anything but one's best for Punch. There is only one class in Punch—the superlatively good. No other journal has had such a triumphant succession of great contributors. Since the first number, Punch has never deteriorated, never flagged, but maintains a perpetual succession of genius. A master dies. Immediately another steps into his place. The King is dead. Long Live the King !

The Moonlight road rjlHERE'S a road that goes to Muriwai, that

leaves the beaten track, And whisks 1)ou into Fairyland—heigh-ho! and

brings you back-You must take your car by moonlight, with Cupid

at the wheel, And faster go, and faster, until mind and senses

reel.

The miles slip by on moonbeams. You take a sudden turn

And enter into Fairyland, where, through soft :waving fern,

Sweet fairy eyes peep out at you like pale and timid stars

And fairy hands from fairy gates take down the fairy bars.

There fairy hands a carpet lay of soft and frag-rant moss

With pile of dazzling moonbeams that only you may cross.

And tall and graceful kauri form a lofty fairy arch And as you pass a fairy band breathes out a fairy

march.

"Ah! Driver, stop," but Cupid laughs, and with a sudden sweep

Regains the common man-built road where droop-ing willows weep.

There's a road that goes to Muriwai, that leaves the beaten track,

And whisks you into Fairyland—heigh-ho! and brings you back!

Heigh-ho ! And brings you back • — B Y - E N D S .

T A C T

"Look at that Fresher over there. I wouldn't marry her on a bet!"

"Just what the deuce do you mean ? T h a t girl is my sister !"

"Why—a—er—The fact is, you see, I never bet !"

[10]

T H E K I W I piiitiiiiiii

Further Adven tu res of S indbad the Sailor (With apologies to the "Arabian Nights.")

" D O A M I N G through the Library of the New Arts Building I noticed a volume of refer-

ence, "The Watahelofalotino," a little known American tome of knowledge. Turning idly through the volume I chanced to notice an article entitled " Further Revelations by Sindbad the Sailor." Curiously enough, this interesting material does not seem to have been included in the "Arabian Nights." For full information on this interesting topic I must refer the inquisitive reader to the "Watahelofalotino" itself; but in the mean-time a fragment of what I there discovered will not be out of place.

"Know, O my brother," (these are the words of Sindbad) "that after a time I longed for more travel believing that there existed a land more won-derful than any I had seen. So, forthwith I set out with some small packages of merchandise upon my last, yet most wonderful, O most terrifying journey, O my brothers.

"Coming to the edge of a shady plot of ground, I sat myself down to rest, for the day was hot and the packages grew not lighter. Presently I heard a buzzing sound like unto a swarm of bees, and, on looking into the skies, I beheld a large bird approaching. This bird swooped to the ground in front of me with a roar as I watched, and from its back climbed two figures like unto men in shape, but hairy like an ape, and each possessed of two round saucer-like eyes of great size.

"The bird from whose back they had descended became silent, and was so strange that it now occupied my attention. Unlike other birds, it folded not its wings when at rest but kept them projected outv/ards as though in flight. Its body was silver coloured, like a fish, and seemed to be devoid of feathers. In fact, so like a fish did it appear from its shape, and especially from its tail, that I decided it must be some great flying fish, possibly tamed and used as a means of transport by these strange ape-men. But what amazed me more than all, was the head of this curious creature. Issuing vertically and in opposite direction from its head were two horns, shaped like scimitars which, when the creature moved, seemed to revolve round its head at a great speed, so great indeed that the horns became invisible. The great creature ap-peared devoid of eyes or mouth but belched forth smoke and flame from its sides as it landed on the earth.

"Meanwhile, the two ape-men seemed to be preparing a meal, which I afterwards discovered was the case. Of this meal I was unable to observe much until, (imagine my amazement, O my bro-thers,) one put a whitish cylinder into his mouth and forthwith proceeded to belch forth much smoke from his nostrils. I watched this strange sight until the ape-man had consumed this fiery cylinder, when they rose and proceeded to allay the thirst of the fish-bird with water (or what appeared to me to be water) from curious square-shaped silver goblets, which contained as much as any demijohn.

"In my curiosity, I had unwittingly moved for-ward from the cover of the luxuriant undergrowth, and, imagine my horror, O my brothers, when I discovered that the ape-men were pointing in my direction. From the hand of one of the ape-men came a flash like the crack of a whip, and some small object, propelled by prodigious force, sang past my head, to be imbedded at some depth in a tree behind me. I gave a cry of horror and, turning to escape, tripped over a projecting root, with the result that I fell heavily to the ground and was unable to move before one of the ape-men had hold of me by the shoulder.

" 'Saygoy, watsblonin,' cried the ape-man in some strange language with which I was unfamilar. After gesticulating and speaking, seemingly through their noses, though their lips moved at times, they forced me to the side of the bird-fish which had kept still all this time. The ape-man compelled me to climb on to the fish-bird's back, which I did with some trepidation. I was amazed to find small holes or pits in the back of the bird into one of which I was forced to descend. The ape-man forthwith ascended the fish-bird's back and, seating themselves in two of the small holes, pro-ceeded to bind me in the pit by means of curious straps.

"When the ape-men, whom I afterwards dis-covered belonged to a strange race known as Yankeys, had strapped themselves in similar small holes in the fish-bird's back, one of them addressed the creature as follows: 'Saybo, leterip.' Straight-way, O my brothers, the bird, which was called by the Yankeys a 'litilolpline,' gave a roar and ran with ever increasing speed across the small plot of ground. Suddenly, however, it rose from the earth and climbed to such great height that

lllllillll!!l!lllll!l!lM

[11 ]

lPllllllll!lllllllll!ililiillll]|llillll!™ T H E

V ,'„„„•„ even the greatest of the mounts became as a pimple on the face of the earth.

"On overcoming my fear I looked carefully at the earth and was amazed to find that it was not flat, as the wise men say, but round and wrinkled like unto a gourd. So fast did we travel, 0 my brothers, that I felt that my belly could not keep pace with the rest of my body, with the result that a strange sickness assailed me like unto the sickness of the sea. My discomfort was so great that I did not notice that the bird was des-cending until it had nearly reached the earth again. 1 then found, O my brothers, that the "litilol-pline" was alighting on a flat piece of ground, and that it came to rest in front of an immense barn, in which could be seen other litilolplines. This huge barn, or granary, I discovered, was used to house these curious creatures in.

"Meanwhile, our weird steed had been surround-ed by a great concord of Yankeys, amongst whom I noticed some strangely garbed. These I after-wards discovered were their women. So extra-ordinary, so shameless, was their attire that I thank-ed Allah for our own women. These females

KIWI jililllllllililiililililil!!!^ i lKfl l l l l l l l l i l liiiliiiillliillliil'liillllllllllllllPi

*

wore not veils, but had their faces exposed, and their hair cut short so that it hung but shortly below their earst like the mane of a steed. Their arms and upper part of their bodies were nude, while their robes, which wpre hung by straps over their shoulders, reached but little if any below the knees." [Here the gathering looked at each other in horror, believing that Sindbad the Sailor had partaken too often of the wine cup.]

"Verily, O my brothers, these things are true. As the wise men say, the truth is seldom pleasing to listen on. As the night draws on apace I shall say that I was hurried into a small hovel with barred doors, by the Yankeys, who gazed on me with great wonder. What happened thenceforth and the wonders I beheld, O my brothers, will serve to beguile away the time when next we meet."

And when Sindbad the Sailor had finished all the company wondered mightily, for they had not heard the like before. They supped with him and retired till a new dawn appeared, when they offered up their prayers and again assembled to hear the further adventure of Sindbad the Sailor in the country of the Yankeys, whose women were JO curiously, so scantily attired.

The Vogue of the Mackintosh.

This undeniably useful article has become in-1 creasingly unpopular this season with the Auck-^ land girl. Possibly her dislike of the old-fash-^ ioned roll-collar has something to do with it. - Experience has taught her that no mackintosh com-

ing through the tropics can be guaranteed. [Corres-pondent suggests frequent soaking in whisky as a preservative, but we cannot recommend this.]

However that may be, the fact remains that no really smart girl cares to be seen with a mackin-tosh. There is nothing "Chic" about it, and it makes black marks if not properly attended to. Still the older generation will not easily relin-

i quish the mackintosh habit. With them, now as " always, the mackintosh and the umbrella go hand I in hand.

Crescent Day Thin through the woods the watch-dogs bark, Thin from a paling sky the lark Drops silver praise to morning. Fleeing away From crescent day The screechowls cry a warning.

Thin from the hill, the grey lights rise, Thin in the heights the last star dies And hastens in the dying. For night gives place To morning grace When the world's awake and crying.

— F E L I X A M O R Y .

Who' is this man wha' comes frae Sooth An' draps strange wordies frae his mooth?

Wi' gril black merits The bairns he works

Wi' guid cane next he'll show nae ruth.

Max. Walker (Oh, sad to relate), Fell asleep at the Fresher's Debate;

His chairwarmer pipe He still kepi alight,

Tho' they knocked a large chunk off his pate.

dlHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIillllllM

[12]

* " " "

:lllllifflEtHlliNi)lliill:II!:tIIIIIllillllll9iHniHllllinKIII!lllll»iniIlillfiHiHfnilUllllllillllllll)llS T H E K I W I * ,,„„

Graduates of the Year

MASTER OF ARTS "Onward ! Christ ian Soldiers."—Hymn.

O W E N W A L T E R BAYLEY. "He fooled the examining' body In a w a y I'm re luctant to tell."—Hilton.

E D W A R D M U S G R A V E BLAI K LOCK. "Watch this, m y friends, and wil l you dare

to say The s tudy of Class ics does not pay ?"

—Stephen Leacock. "Why did mighty Jove create thee ?"

— Longfellow. C H A R L E S W A L L A C E BOSWELL.

"How came it to pass ? My fai th ! I do not know—it w a s sheer good luck."

—Gilbert. W I L L I A M GORDON VICTOR F E R N I E

(Second Class in Economics). "He's an enterta in ing ratt lesnake."

—Gilbert.

E D W A R D NOEL M c L A G H L A N HOGBEN (First Class in History).

"For there's no reproach a m o n g swine , d'you see ;

For being a bit of a swine."—Kipling. A R T H U R H E N R Y H U N T .

"I am retired leisure. I a m a lready come to be k n o w n by my v a c a n t and care less gesture, perambulat ing at no fixed pace nor with any sett led purpose."—C. Lamb.

F E L I X M A X W E L L K E E S I N G (First Class in Education).

"I love her, sir, a lmos t a s wel l a s I love myself."—Gilbert.

"I ain't no bible-puncher, N o plaster sa int—no pattern for the kids."

—The Defaulter. "Such a d v a n c e s a s they m a y be, coming

from the gent ler sex."—"Kiwi," 1925. JOHN E D W A R D LEAMING.

"I love a foo l—as natural ly a s if I were kith and kin to him."—C. Lamb.

AMY L I L L I A N LOUCH. "Man h a s his will, but w o m a n h a s her

way."—O. W. Holmes. K A T H L E E N MAUD1E M E R R I T T .

"She kept her l ine of rect i tude W i t h love's unconsc ious ease ;

Her kindly ins t inc t s understood All gent le courtesies ."—Whitt ier.

C H A R L E S A N D R E W NOBLE. "To be good is noble; but to show others

h o w to be good is nobler and no trouble." — Mark Twain.

C O R N E L I U S FRANCIS O'CONNOR. "You Irish people are a m a z i n g l y clever."

—Shaw. JEAN RIACH

(Second Class in English and French). "Man, what have 1 to do wi th love or thee?"

-—Swinburne. AGNES MARION LOW ROBB.

"Mighty maiden wi th a miss ion Paragon of c o m m o n sense."—Gilbert.

Z I L L A MARY SIMPSON. (Second Class in History).

"History repeats itself."—Old Adage.

A R T H U R B A L L A R D T H O M P S O N (Second Class in Education).

"I ain't no p i n k - e y e d cherub w i t h a pair of wings."—The Defaulter.

"He'd a mien so d is t ingue and so debon-naire,

And snrugged wi th a grace so recherchg and rare."— Ingoldsby Legends.

NANCY GRACE W I L S O N (First Class in English).

"Though hither I s tray in lowly array, I am a damsel of high degree."

* —Ingoldsby Legends.

MASTER OF SCIENCE "And common sense s tands wonder ing at their

fame."—Pope.

J O H N CLARK A N D R E W S (First Class in Chemistry).

"His smile is a s a l i s ten ing child's W h o hears its mother's call ."—Whittier.

"They reckon ill w h o l eave me out." — Emerson.

W A L L A C E A R M S T R O N G M A C K Y (Second Class in Physics).

"I ain't no fa i th fu l lover, Nor escort for a v irgin a f t er dark, I ain't much good to w o m e n at the price

of things."—The Defaulter. "Yours wi th a baby but no wife ."

— Ipse Dixit.

[13]

* JIEIIIIIIIIIIIVIIIIIIIinitianinilllUllUIUIIIIUIIUIiniainilll 1 M L M W 1 I ur::!:- : i; I1-.:: !::!.;';'; j T H E K I W I limn

F R A N C I S J O H N T U R N E R (First Class in Geology.)

"Some of our br ightes t people are k lepto-maniacs , paraniacs , agoraphol i s t s and dolomites."—Stephen Leacock.

"The boiler w a s filled w i th the best s t rong beer

And the devil h imself w a s the engineer." —S. W. Robbins.

MASTER OF LAWS "To succeed in the other trades, capac i ty m u s t

be s h o w n ; in the law, concea lment of it wi l l do."—Mark Twain.

D A V I D L E O N A R D BONE "A dog's l i fe and a dog's n a m e forsooth."

(Source Obscure)

H E N R Y J A M E S B U T L E R (Second Class in Roman Law, Contracts and Torts, Companies).

"Now 'tis a l i tt le joy To k n ow I'm farther off f r o m h e a v e n T h an w h e n I w a s a boy."—Hood.

W I L L I A M T H O M A S DOBSON. "I k n o w naught of this m a n but w h a t is ill."

—Gilbert. "But then ! you are so l i tt le and so fat."

—Gilbert.

JAMES R E N S H A W D R U M M O N D (Second Class in Jurisprudence, Contracts

and Torts, Companies). "Would H e a v e n I had been first."

—Gilbert. "What a fa ther ! W h a t a son !"—Anon.

T R E V O R E R N E S T H E N R Y (Second Class in Roman Law, Contracts and Torts Companies).

"Let me w a r n you v e r y earnes t ly a g a i n s t scruples."—Johnson.

R O N A L D O R M I S T O N S I N C L A I R (Second Class in Jurisprudence, Contracts

and icrts, Companies). "He is a s s h y a s a newspaper is w h e n re-

ferr ing to its o w n meri ts ."—Mark Twain. "By consc ient ious s m o k i n g a n d drinking,

H e had kept himself f r o m the horror of thinking."—Stephen Leacock.

W I L L I A M R O D N E Y L E W I N V A L L A N C E (Second Class in Roman Law, Contracts and Torts, Companies).

"O, it w a s pitiful , N e a r a whole c i ty fu l— Girl he had none."—Hood (improved).

"I 'ave no soul for mus ic though w h e n drunk I s ings."—The Defaulter.

JACK D U D D I N G T O N W I L L I S . "You m a y hire logic, in the shape of a lawyer, to prove a n y t h i n g that you want."

—O. W. Holmes.

MASTER OF COMMERCE D A V I D H A R V E Y S T E E N (Second Class).

"I ain't no k ing of commerce, N o merchant prince — no 'oolev in the

'Oo's 'Oo."—The Defaulter. "For I did dream of m o n e y - b a g s to-night ."

—Shakespeare.

BACHELOR OF ARTS "We're low, we're low, mere rabble w e know."

—E. C. Jones. MARJORY F R E N C H E R N E ADAMS.

"Her tas te exact For fau l t l ess fact A m o u n t s to a disease."—Gilbert.

F L O R E N C E B E A T R I C E ARMSTRONG. "None ever heard a h a s t y word from Flo;

The most she ever said was, 'Here's a go!" —J. C. Squire.

H E L E N V E R N E Y ASSER. "Sweet Helen, m a k e me immortal w i t h a

kiss."—Marlowe. "Gather ye rosebuds."—Herrick.

C I C E L E Y JEAN A S T L E Y . "I bear the m a r k s of Virgil and the scar

Where Jul ius Caesar wrote his Gallic War."—Stephen Leacock.

L E W I S AGASSIZ BARNES. "I wore c lean col lars and a brand n e w sui t

For the pass examinat ion at the institute." —Gilbert.

A L A N BASSETT. "The s imple life, the harmless drink,

Is good enough—I do not think." —Stephen Leacock.

S H O L T O BLACK. "Me! I'm as 'andsome as a chunk of coke."

—Service. EDNA JEAN B O W E L L .

"Thou w a s t the daughter of m y tutor." —Ellis.

"Thou hast a feather-brain , but thou'rt a good lass."—Gilbert.

W I N I F R E D B R A I T H W A I T E . "The learned Minerva is weak in her

spelling."—Gilbert. "Do you not know I a m a w o m a n ? W h e n I think I mus t shriek."

-—Shakespeare (amended). L E S L I E V I C K E R Y BRYANT.

"Have we got no music , no whisky , no lad ies?

"Well, it m a y be straight, but it's g loomy as Hades."—Stephen Leacock.

K E I T H E D W A R D B U L L E N . "I wil l not b lame thee for thy face,

Poor devil a s thou art." —O. W. Holmes.

Illlllllllllllllllllll [ 1 4 ]

jr" * §lll!llllll!l!l!llillllllll!lil!ll!!]l!ifl!lllill!lilllllil!N^ T H E K I W I !

ROBERT V E R N O N BURTON. "Yet in my humble self I l ike to think

I typ i fy a sort of m i s s i n g link." —Stephen Leacock.

CECILY M A U D E C A N A V A N . "Wisdom borne on fashion's pinions."

— Fanshawe. M A R G A R E T D O R O T H Y CONNOR.

"So s i m p l e - s w e e t wi thout a sin." — Masefield. .

V A R N E R JAMES COOKE. "Well, then, I now do plainly see,

This busy world and 1 shall ne'er agree." —A. Cowley.

"Crool Fortune's dirty le f t 'as smote me soul."—Dennis.

O L I V E R GORDON COX. "He is very ready at that sort of d is -course with which men usual ly enterta in women."—Steele.

"He is extremely well versed in all the l itt le handicraf t s of an idle man."

-—Addison. EDNA MARY DAVIS.

"A depth of mean ing underlies, Those bl inkers that restrain your eyes,"

—Stephen Leacock. A T H O L HODGSON D O N N E L L .

"Do not indulge in f a c e - t o - f a c e dancing. This m e a n s w h a t it says."—"Kiwi," 1925.

I R E N E GRACE EVANS. "Never heed her pretty airs."—Linton.

M U R R A Y H O L M A N FEIST. "On the whole , w e think" him better sui ted

for Social Service, or Journal ism, or Ph i l -ology, than for a posit ion of re spons i -bility."—Stephen Leacock.

MARION B E R T H A FORDE. "So merciful , so gentle , so h ighly o r n a m e n -

tal."—Gilbert. "I cannot check m y girl ish blush, m y colour

comes and goes."—Kipling. ELLA M I L D R E D F O W L E R .

"Her love l iness I never k n e w Unti l she smiled on me."

— Hartley Coleridge. K E N N E T H H A M P T O N FRICKER.

"The purest morals undefi led by wit." —Sheridan.

W I L L I A M BRYCE G ILLESPIE . "Shall a w o m a n ' s v irtues m o v e

Me to perish for her love?"—Wither. B E R N A R D O W E N H E A T H E R .

"Of ill intent and mal ice a m I, As is the babe, innocent,"—Greenweil.

"Thy face bel ies thee !"—Shakespeare. V I N C E N T NOEL H U B B L E .

"Hence at the end w e see V i n c e n t Noe l s i t t ing at h i s desk half revolved in a re-vo lv ing chair wi th a beaut i fu l s t e n o g -rapher wi th in easy touch."

—Stephen Leacock.

nu*

M A B E L GOW JOHNSON. "For a modest gracefu' mien

The l ike I never saw."—Burns. CLODAGH MARY K I T C A T .

"All thy deeds, m y fa i thfu l Mary, shine, And s ince thou own'st that praise I spare

thee mine."—Cowper. "Cats !" — N o t by Louis Wain.

K A T H L E E N MARY L E I G H T O N . "Port a f t e r s tormie seas."—Spenser.

" . . . A reasonable woman, Handsome , wi t ty , y e t a friend."—Pope.

N O R M A N A L E X A N D E R L E O N A R D . "Thou h a s t a gal lant carriage, gent le

knight."—Ford. "I'd no notion you were such an orator."

—Shaw. ERIC N O R M A N LePET IT .

"But w h a t is money to a man like me N e w Zealand's honoured wi th her degree."

—Stephen Leacock (improved). E V E L Y N C H A R L O T T E M A H O N E Y .

"Who lent thee, child, th is med i ta t ive gu i se ?"—Arnold.

M A R G A R E T M A R I E M A R T I N . "What a w i f e you wil l make."—Gilbert.

W A L T E R ROBERT H U G H M A R T I N . " "I think I've drunk enough, to float a barge."—Service.

"All hoods make not monks." —Shakespeare..

K A T H L E E N A N N I E M A T H E W . "Fair a s a star w h e n only one

Is sh in ing in the sky."—Wordsworth. D O R O T H Y M A T H E W S .

"A dog-rose blushin' to a brook Ain't modester nor sweeter."—Lowell .

A L I C E E T H E L M I N C H I N . "A F I N E woman." —Refined Genius. "There's none so fair a s l i tt le Al ice in all

the land, they say."—Tennyson. JAMES D U N C A N McGUIRE.

"There ain't much metaphor about me, I'm plain fact."—Gilbert.

G E R A R D GUY L L E W E L L Y N McLEOD. "We Eng l i sh are a mixed race."

—Dennis McPherson Isaacs. W I N I F R E D E D I T H M c N I C K L E .

"But I l ike m y o w n way , and I find it is so nice."—O. W. Holmes.

"Winifred—lover of peace."—Dictionary. C H A R L E S EDGAR N E W I C K .

"A m a n m a y h a v e no bad habits , and h a v e worse ."—Mark Twain.

K A T H L E E N B U R G O Y N E O W E N . "Nature ! I wi l l tell thee y e t "There's but one w h i t e violet."—Landor.

[15]

THE KIWI *

T H E O D O R A MARY PABST. "I m o v e s in 'igh society, I does, and oh!

the people I mee t s !"—Bill Stoney. T H O M A S P H I L L I P S .

"This h a u g h t y youth, H e s p e a k s the truth, W h e n e v e r he finds its pays."—Gilbert.

V ICTOR R E G I N A L D RAINES. "A lot of our bes t fr iends turn out to be sub-normal and not worth knowing."

—Stephen Leacock. M I R I A M J E A N ROBERTSON.

"All her w a y s were w i n n i n g ones, All her cunn ing w a s to charm."—Anon.

ISOBEL RITO D U M O N T ROBINS. "I've never met a n y o n e quite l ike you."

—'Tilly of Tamaki. H A R O L D S M A L L .

"Fat l iT fe l low wi th his m a m m y ' s eyes." —Popular Song.

"One w h o s e vocat ion is p a s s i n g the ordin-ary B.A. degree."—Hilton.

ROY S M A L L F I E L D . "But if you prize m y friendship, sonny.

Don't ever a sk me to be funny." —Graham.

A N D R E W A R C H I B A L D S M Y T H . "He never would shrink from a n y s trong

drink, W a s it w h i s k y or W y n y a r d Arms ale."

—Thackeray (improved). "He had a face like a benediction."

—Cervantes. EVA M A R I O N S T A L L W O R T H Y .

"Here c o m e s s ta te ly Jun, I k n o w her by her gait."—Shakespeare.

E N A MAY S T E E L E . "Girls will be girls. You're very y o u n g and flighty in your mind."—Gilbert.

L E O N A R D H E N R Y T H O M P S O N . "Of Leonard w h o could readi ly at s ight

S t r u m a march upon a loud theodol i te Could di l igent ly play On the zoetrope all day,

And blow the g a y pantechnicon all night." —Anon.

C L I F T O N ROBERTS T I L L Y . "I am, ye t w h a t I am, w h o cares or knows?"

—Clare. T U I V A N C E V A L E N T I N E .

"Ah! braid no more that sh in ing hair." —Lovelace.

"Shall I have it bobbed or sh ing led ?" —Evangelical Hymn.

GLADYS MAY W A R D . "I admi t th i s s h o w of l earning is the fruit of s t eady cram."—Gilbert.

K A T H L E E N E M I L Y W R I G H T . "Riches I hold in l ight es teem,

And love I laugh to scorn."—E. Bronte.

BACHELOR OF SCIENCE "Interest ing—but tough."—Mark Twain

N O R M A N S T A N L E Y A L E X A N D E R . "His face it w a s trustful and chi ld-l ike.

And he had the most innocent eye." — Hilton.

"No art is t I—save wi th a b looming gun." —The Defaulter.

D A W S O N DONALDSON. "Excuse me, I s e e m to know your face, and there's s o m e t h i n g famil iar about the droop of your head and the s i l ly expres -sion of your features."—Stephen Leacock.

JOHN D U M B L E . "That all around wil l ne'er be found a

maker that can cope In purity and qual i ty w i th Dumble's c a u s -

tic soap." — W i t h apolog ies to "Punch," 1889.

""Women never wink at me, they let me alone."—Gilbert.

R I C H A R D S E Y M O U R F L E T C H E R . "Careless of notoriety, of fame unthinking.

B u t s ing ing like a skylark af ter drinking." —Stephen Leacock.

H O W A R D J A M E S G A U D I N . "Scientif ic knowledge even in the most

modest persons has mingled wi th it a s o m e t h i n g which partakes of insolence."

—O. W. Holmes. W I L L I A M E R N E S T LA ROCHE.

"Farewell , farewel l , I fa int ly cried, My breeches! Oh my breeches !"

—O. W. Holmes. "Behold the natural is t in his teens

Found s ix spec ies in a dish of greens."—O. W. Holmes.

E U G E N E D U M O N T ROBINS. "He's the livin', breathin' image of an or-

gan-gr inder ' s monkey, wi th a pound of grease in his 'air."—Kipling.

"Hath a n y m a n seen h im at the barber's ?" —Shakespeare.

"He cannot lay eggs, but he can cackle." —Proverb.

DORIS M Y R T L E S M I T H . "I a m searching" for a man."—Diogenes. "Who a m I to raise object ion W h e n you tell me you're perfection."

—Gilbert. C O N W A Y T A Y L O R .

"I can't bear this d n wireless."—Anon. "I w a s s i t t ing wi th m y radio upon m y par-

lour mat, W i t h a very squeaky ya lve and a l ively

rheostat."—P.D.Q.

T H O M A S ERIC T H O M P S O N . "Youth, w h a t s o e v e r thou art,

Thou art but a s curvy fellow." —Shakespeare.

[16]

* "'"+

| T H E K I W I liiiiiiiiiiiiiifii * ,.*

H E R B E R T LEA T O W E R S . "Multorum annorum opus."

— Latin Proverb. "His rude forefathers , you'll agree,

Were never half so rude a s he." —Graham.

"What express ive thing's feet are." —"Kiwi," 1925.

"Hell's bells."—J.S.

BACHELOR OF LAWS "Knowledge m a y s tarve whi le law g r o w s fat ,

For there never w a s pi tcher that wouldn't spill.

And there's a l w a y s a f law in a donkey's will." —C. W. Holmes.

V ICTOR A R T H U R J O H N DE COEK. "Pardon me, I a m not sure that I h a v e the name right."—Stephen Leacock.

F R A N K C L A R E N D O N GOULD. "The kind of m a n indeed.

Wrho should be found if true to type, Pork-butcher ing or purvey ing tripe."

—Graham.

EOIN BRUCE C H I S H O L M M U R R A Y . "It m a k e s one look more like a solicitor."

—A. A. Milne.

MALCOLM ROY W A T T E R S O N . "He seemed unfit for a vocat ion

That must require imaginat ion." —Graham.

JOHN N IGEL W I L S O N . "Officially I have embraced the profess ion of a sol ic i tor—but you k n o w w h a t these o f -

ficial embraces are."—A. A. Milne.

BACHELOR OF COMMERCE "Fasc inat ing Finance."—"Truth."

F R A N K S E E R I N G B A T L E Y . "Can't bend, can swim, slow, solid, that's

him."—Kipling.

ROBERT BOYD H A R D Y . "My Napoleonic s tra tegy has foreseen every emergency."—Til ly of Tamaki.

"No field-preacher ever carried his irreve-rent fami l iar i ty so far."—Macau lay.

W I L L I A M A L L A N McNAIR. "He is a l ittle man, let h im go and work

wi th the women."—Longfellow.

NOEL ROYCROFT S T E W A R T . "What manner of man ? Is his head worth a hat ?"—Shakespeare.

DIPLOMA IN EDUCATION ROBERT V E R N O N B U R T O N .

"Teacher, by the grace of God."—Adams. "Take care of him, he's much too good to live."—Gilbert.

E D W A R D W I L L I A M PEACE MASSEY. "Nature has f ramed s trange f e l l o w s in her

time. '—Shakespeare. "Mass (e )y , large, and round."—Milton.

DIPLOMA IN JOURNALISM "The old s a w says , 'Let s l eep ing dogs lie.' Right. Still, w h e n there is much at s take it is better to get a n e w s p a p e r to do it."

—Mark Twain. O L I V E R GORDON COX.

"The w o m e n s imply adored him, h is l ips were l ike Cupid's bow,

But he never ventured to use them, and so they voted h im slow."—Service.

FRANCES M A T T H E W PRICE. "Therefore, a s he is an ass, let h im go."

—Shakespeare. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."

—Shakespeare.

DIPLOMA IN SOCIAL SCIENCE "How best to help the s lender store, H o w mend the dwel l ings of the poor."

—Tennyson. C H R I S T O P H E R GEORGE B O T T R I L L .

"Oh, he loves society."—Til ly of Tamaki.

DIPLOMA IN BANKING "Of intel lectual recreat ion they h a v e no not ion

whatever."—Gi Ibert.

JAMES W A R R E N DISCOMBE. "Thou s trange epi tome of all that's rugged,

quaint, and picturesque."—Gilbert. ERIC H E B E R T S O N BERRY W A T E R S .

"Some of us help wi th the seat of our pants to polish an office stool."—Service.

A R T H U R W I L F R E D W I L L I A M S . "I can hardly forbear hur l ing th ings a t

him"—Shakespeare.

T H O M A S E D W A R D REYNOLDS. "You're about a s commonplace a y o u n g man as ever I saw."—Gilbert. *

W A L T E R ROWAN. "I ain't no brainy factor in the s c h e m e of

things."—The Defaulter.

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[ 1 7 ]

mini! *

T H E K I W I iiiiiiifeijiiiiiiiiiiiirc

Tennis Tournament HTHE College Tennis Tournament instituted last

year was held this year at the courts of the Titirangi Golf Club, on Saturday, March 13th and 20th. Owing to the large number of entries received, it was impossible to complete the tourna-ment in the two Saturdays.

Our thanks are due to the Titirangi Golf Club for again placing their courts at our disposal, and also to the Mt. Albert Tennis Club, who allowed us the use of their courts on the morning of Satur-day, March 13th, where the preliminary rounds of the ladies' events were played.

The men's singles again drew a large number of entries, the outstanding players being Nicholson, Entwistle, Turner and Hubble. Of the ladies par-ticipating the outstanding players were Miss E. E. Miller, who won the Ladies' Singles, and Miss J. Brownlee, who should develop into a first class tennis player. The standard of play was on the whole higher than last year's, especially in the ladies' events.

The tournament went off very successfully con-sidering the fact that only four courts were avail-able for play. Mr. R. B. Hardy again managed the tournament and is to be congratulated on the way in which he worked off the events. The most pleasing feature of the tournament was the attitude of the players towards the management committee. The committee duly appreciated the fact that, though complaints were justifiable in some cases, none were received.

R E S U L T S .

First Round—Nicholson b. North; Robins b. Dumble; Rodcliffe b. Rauch; Entwistle b. J. E. Stedman; Briggs b. Taylor ( d e f ) ; Hardy b. Bullen ; Macdonald b. R. S. Self; Scott b. Schnei-demann (def.) ; A . C. Stedman b. Box; Hubble b. Morton (def . ) ; Rishworth b. De Coek; Luke b. T . J. Gould.

Second Round.—Nicholson b. Miller; A . J. Hutchison b. J. Johnson; Hilton b. Thompson; Robins b. McKelvie; Radcliffe b. Aubin; Ent-wistle b. Yock; Danneford b. Whibley; Neill b. Briggs; Hardy b. E. Smith; J. Wilson b. Mac-donald (def.) ; Bowden b. Andrews; Scott b. E. H. Burton; Hubble b. A . C. Stedman; Hunter b. Rishworth; Turner b. Lamb; Gold b. Luke.

Third Round Nicholson b. Hutchison; Robins b. Hilton (def) ; Entwistle b. Radcliffe; Danneford b. Neill; Hardy b. Wilson; Scott b.

Bowden (def . ) ; Hubble b. Hunter; Turner b. Gould.

Fourth Round.—Nicholson b. Robins; Ent-wistle b. Danneford; Hardy b. Scott.

M E N ' S D O U B L E S .

First Round—Hubble and Turner b. Hutchi-son and Bullen; De Coek and Gould b. Broune and Neill; Danneford and North b. Rishworth and Gould; Rauch and Taylor b. Radcliffe and Briggs; Stedman and Stedman b. Burton and Bur-ton; Bowden and Self b. Wilson and Wilson; Nicholson and Hardy b. Miller and Andrews.

Second Round.—Hubble and Turner b. Rad-cliffe and J. Johnson; Lamb and Luke b. De Coek and Gould; Danneford and North b. Jenkin and Jenkin; Rauch and Taylor b. Box and Whibley (def.) ; Schneidemann and Yock b. Stedman and Stedman (def.) ; Entwistle and Hunter b. Dumble and Robins (def.) ; Macdonald and Scott b. Bow-den and Self; Nicholson and Hardy b. Daven-port and McKelvie.

Third Round.—Hubble and Turner b. Lamb and Luke; Danneford and North b. Rauch and Taylor (def . ) ; Entwistle and Hunter b. Mac-donald and Scott.

Semi-Final.—Hubble and Turner b. Danneford and North; Nicholson and Hardy b. Entwistle and Hunter.

LADIES ' S I N G L E S

First Round.—Miss Bowell b. Miss Jenkin; Miss Mueller b. Miss Morison; Miss Minchin b. Miss Schmidt.

Second Round.—Miss Adams b. Miss Bowell; Miss Wann b. Miss Whitelaw (def.) ; Miss Asser b. Miss Mcintosh; Miss Sharpe b. Miss Mueller; Miss Miller b. Miss Minchin; Miss Robertson b. Miss Cleveley (by def.) ; Miss Hume b. Miss By-gate; Miss Brownlee b. Miss Hitchins.

Third Round.—M iss Adams b. Miss Wann ; Miss Sharpe b. Miss Asser; Miss Miller b. Miss Robertson; Miss Brownlee b. Miss Hume.

Semi-Finals. — Miss Sharpe b. Miss Adams; Miss Miller b. Miss Brownlee.

Final—Miss Miller b. Miss Sharpe. L A D I E S ' D O U B L E S .

First Round. — Misses Bowell and Asser b. Missse Robertson and Hitchins; Misses Sharpe and Adams b. Misses Hume and Minchin; Misses Miller and Mueller b. Misses Mcintosh and Wann.

Semi-Finals.—Misses Brownlee and Whitelaw b. Misses Bowell and Asser; Misses Miller and Mueller b. Misses Sharpe and Adams.

[18]

* { T H E K I W I *.„„„,„„„ , mi in nun in

C O M B I N E D D O U B L E S

First Round.—Miss Mueller and J. Johnson b. Miss Robertson and Self; Miss Hitchins and Robins b. Miss Cleveley and De Coek; Miss Brownlee and Miller b. Miss Bygate and Ent-wistle (de f . ) ; Miss Miller and Hubble b. Miss Jenkin and Jenkin; Miss Sharpe and Wilson b. Miss Graham and Hutchison.

Second Round.—Miss Minchin and Hardy b. Miss Mueller and Johnson; Miss Hitchins and Robins b. Miss Brownlee and Miller; Miss Miller and Hubble b. Miss Sharpe and Wilson; Miss Whitelaw and Turner b. Miss W a n n and Bowden (def . ) .

Semi-Finals.—Miss Minchin and Hardy b. Miss Hitchins and Robins.

The Power of the Press W A S H I N G T O N I R V I N G , in one of his amus-" ing phantasies, observed that he marvelled at

the vast productivity of printing machines, which disseminated all sorts of remarkable operations to the various points of the compass, and littered tables with broadcast sheets containing a strange melange of assorted news and views.

The writer commenced upon the Victorian era of journalism which was notable for the "personal element" in its composition; "personal" implying distinctive individual attention by the Editor, who frequently indulged in unpleasant "personalities" which made the Victorian era in journalism both humorous and notorious. British journalism, how-ever, has made great strides in the twentieth cen-tury, and, to-day, our newspaper press is con-spicuous in the great majority of cases—and, of course, we are only dealing with responsible and respectable journalism—for fair dealing and un-biassed definitions of public policy and national events. The history of the press is of absorbing interest, and newspapers have at all times entered into the vital life of the community.

From the thundering presses news-sheets are thrown to a mighty multitude, creating Govern-ments to-day, and breaking them to-morrow. The daily newspaper editor, in the quiet seclusion of his sanctum, is the real controller of the public mind: Prime Ministers pay him court; Kings, and Governors, wait upon his word, and the power of the Editorial Presence is more keenly felt because it is so subtly expressed in many channels which influence society as constituted in these modern days.

Despite the introduction of motion pictures, and wireless broadcasting, in the propaganda field, the daily press, both morning aand evening, holds paramount sway in influencing public opinion. British journalism, in its best aspects, is founded upon a broad constitution, thoroughly representa-tive of Anglo-Saxon principles; it is fearless

in exposing wrong-doing, and is persistent in awak-ening the public conscience upon necessary reforms. Truly, the responsibility of the Press is great, and it is noteworthy that never, except in rare instances, has the great trust reposed in it been abused by un-worthy members of the Fourth Estate. Carlyle remarked that "People got the Government they deserved." This is true also of the Press. T h e Press is a very human machine, and like every human it is fallible. In some respects the Press has not got to-day the power it possessed a quarter of a century ago, which is due to the fact that the modern man and woman thinks very differently in these days of the "Jazz A g e " now upon us. This is the era of "Tabloid Thought." People to-day are not impressed over-much with serious affairs, nor does the public feel so intensely upon matters which would have stirred our grand-fathers and grandmothers to an extreme degree. The war had something to do with this change in the public mind; the W a r like a ravaging flame burned humanity and destroyed many cherished illusions. During the days of Armageddon "Pelion was piled upon Ossa" ; sensation was heaped upon sensation. Al l human beings are essentially creatures of habit. In the early W a r days the first dread horrors stunned the public mind, but as time went on, and the whole world was consumed in the dread conflagration, sen-sations glutted the news market, and the public, which at one time had been sensitive became case-hardened to horror. Press headlines lost the power of their earlier magnitude; the world writhed in anguish, and adjectives became a negligible quan-tity. People lived from day to day thinking little of the morrow, and felt eternally grateful that they were still able to exist in a world gone mad.

It is admitted by most journalists that the Press has lost some of its autocratic power, manifested in the pre-war days, simply because the public mind has undergone an unusual change, but never-

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i i i i i i i i i iB i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i iH T H E

*, theless the influence of the Press is still observed by every section of the community, although the public may be more prone nowadays to argue with its Press teachers than hitherto.

"A little drop of ink falling upon a thought produces that which make thousands, perhaps millions think," said Byron.

Great political organisations, whose actions have a direct influence upon both the masses and the classes have existence only because the Press per-mits it; business men barter, and perform important functions of their daily business in the advertising sections of the newspaper press; religious leaders and social reformers carry their messages to the waiting concourse in the production of their ser-mons and speeches in the Press. The Press is a fount from which all humanity drinks. Without the daily press and its intelligence—and we must not overlook the periodical press, weekly and monthly—the public would thirst for necessary news and views; without the press generally that inter-esting, but sometimes sadly misguided person, "The Man in the Street," would be barren of "ideas," and his "mind" would represent an ever worse Sahara of intelligence than it often does.

The Press is the voice of the people, some-times strident and discordant, sometimes eloquent and soul enthralling. The real Editor, broad of vision, clear of understanding, and truly worthy of his trust, coheres the expression of the popular will, and gives such expression potency in the Magna vox which is the Press.

Lord Morley said that "Leaders no longer led —they followed nowadays." This may be true of some political chieftains, who mould their policy to conform with the express desires of a party or faction. Where the Press touches politics it is sometimes restricted, but this does not necessarily always destroy Editorial power to determine what shall be printed or shall not be distributed through the medium of the Press. Journalistic custom has given the Editor this power and we have known of its use in direct opposition to the plans of political coteries. W e know that newspapers in this com-mercial age are adjuncts of commerce. Indeed newspapers are the dynamic power behind all com-merce, whether it be expressed politically in the leading article of a newspaper affecting some in-teresting tariff consideration, or manifested in a trifling two-line advertisement concerning a busi-ness proposition in the classified section of a news-paper. British newspapers, however, of the best

K I W I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii urn, *

type, never permit sordid collusion between the ad-vertising department and the Editorial department.

The best class of newspaper keeps its views in the "views section" either in the form of editorial articles, or paragraphs by the Editor, and the news, independent of Editorial expressions of opinion, is given its due value in its sphere, without mislead-ing captions. From a journalistic standpoint the peoples of the British Commonwealth of Nations are indeed fortunate. Sensationalism, of the Ameri-can daily press, with its "yellow" attributes, is absent from the true British newspaper. Hectic headlines and "splurge" comment are insult to pub-lic intelligence. With compulsory education, and the advantages of civilisation the public generally pofsesses a critical faculty, and it is only right that on important matters people should be allowed to judge as they see fit.

Lord Northcliffe, great newspaper magnate though he was, selfishly turned the power of the Press into what was humorously defined as a "party gramophone." This had serious results upon the Empire at a time of great crisis in our history of the past decade. Untrammelled comment, based upon a fearless independent viewpoint, is the most priceless heritage of the Press. If it fails to possess this it is only fit to be called the "Suppress." The modern Editor should never forget what Editorial martyrs of the dark ages of journalism won for the Press to-day. The Editor is very often both a Judge and an Executioner, in a journalistic sense, and in the public interest it is well that the official vested with Editorial power should realise his high responsibility and hold the scales of justice fairly; never permitting the malicious enemies of any cause to inflict injury to enterprise by conniving at the misuse of the Press for selfish and dishonourable ends.

In the course of a few days' work the Editor receives visitors representative of every class in the community; eccentric visitors, enthusiastic visitors, malicious visitors, all with a little tale to pour into the Editorial ear in an effort to sway the public mind for some strange purpose or other; and sometimes the "power of the purse" is placed in juxtaposition to the power of the Press." ( ! )

Australasia, by which term we speak of the Commonwealth of Australia and the Dominion of New Zealand possesses a virile and influential Press. Australian journalism is sound and racy of the soil, and the New Zealand journalist cer-tainly strives to achieve, and not infrequently attains the summit in high ideals of British journal-

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[ 2 0 ]

T H E K I W I * *

ism, expressed in a conservative policy, and minus unnecessary ornamentation. Some Australian news-papers are inclined to copy inferior models from abroad, but such experiments are happily few, and it may truthfully be said that our Press ably defines matters of value to Australasia and the Empire.

W e join with that great orator Burke, who gave the Fourth Estate its title, in saying, "May the power of the Press never be diminished. May

the Editors of the Press continue their mighty mission with vision undimmed, ever steadfastly set for the achievement of the highest purpose.

Might we not so pray, "May the Press hold to truth despite temptation and always try to shame the Devil

WM. ]. KEYES, B.A.,

Editor, Smith-W))lie Journal.

Whakatane

You have asked me why the Maoris Gave the name of Whakatane To the gently flowing river, With its mouth all blocked and broken By the cruel rocks, where breakers Dash themselves in awful fury, To the pa and to the country; You have asked me I will tell you.

In the dim and distant ages Came the Maoris from Hawaiki. O' er the miles of trackless ocean, O'er the mighty ocean Kiwa. Whence they came and how they voyaged, Why they left their northern homeland, What misfortunes overtook them; — This the tribal legends tell us.

In the six canoes they ventured, Reached the coast at different places, Brought their craft to different harbours. One was called the Matatua, She concerns this tale I tell you. She it was that bore Toroa And his people o'er the ocean. To the river Whakatane.

There the tired and famished people Saw a land of peace and plenty; Saw the steaming isle Whakare Lying far out in the ocean; Saw the island Motu-hora Rising steep and bare and rugged; Saw the wide expanse of swamp land With its fringing line of sand hills; And the mountains further inland, With the lofty Putauaki,

Once a thundering volcano, Standing blue upon the sky-line.

And they reached the river entrance, Reached the bar where sea and river Meet and roar in wild confusion Over rocks that strew the entrance, Strew the narrow dangerous entrance.

But the warriors, brave in battle, Who had crossed the restless ocean Feared to pass the swirling water Where the cruel rocks showed grimly; And the currents and the eddies Swept the craft towards destruction.

Then, when all seemed doomed and helpless, U p there sprang the chieftain's daughter, Sprang the chieftain's child Wairaka, And with great determination Cried she, "Kia whakatane Ake ahua," which has been Into English speech translated "I myself will act the man's part."

So inspired by her example With fresh hope they plied their paddles, With new strength they stretched their muscles, With fresh courage faced the breakers, Sent the big canoe in safety Through the narrow rock-strewn entrance, Through the swirling, surging water; Till at last she floated safely On the quiet and placid river, And the long sea journey ended.

And the name of Whakatane Still survives in town and river, Still survives in town and country,. Still survives, .enshrined forever, In the legends of the people.

[21 ]

* ""'•"»""*

iiiiiii;iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii;iiiiiiii:i!ii!iii!ii!iiiiii!!l T H E K I W I f; „„„

1 i 4 1 II m

i f f l n i t «4fl>mi

The Glorious Dead

Cenotaph, Still, calm, and quiet,

Jerusalem to those in grief, Whose pedestal is fondly

girthed With membrance, in flower

and leaf, Still moist with falling an-

guish-tear, That comes to soothe the

sorrow-pain, For one they ne'er will see

again.

Mem o ries,

. 1 ttr-.T?

Just sad memories, Of a figure tall and khaki

clad, Who still in Death, immortal

reigns, And we who wear rosemary

sad, Remember we are not

worthy Of that sacrifice, "Nobly

Divine," That these men made for

thine and mine.

LOM. BROWN.

[22]

* " """»"'"""""" Illlllllllllllllllllll'

THE KIWI *

A Lecture on M e n Delivered by the Matron to the Women Students

(Specially Reported for the "Kirvi" by " T H E W A L L F L O W E R ' ' ^ )

j p R O M a woman's point of view men may be classified under four main heads—Sheiks, Cave-

men, Strong Silent Men, and Worms. Of course, you get men who are not pure types—few of them are—but the hybrids are all combinations in some proportion or other of two or more of the generic types.

It is somtimes by no means easy in normal cir-cumstances to assign the given subject to his class. Knowing him in a business way, such as receiving his lecture fees, is useful for some purposes, but not for this. There is however, one infallible test—observe the subject in love.

As the proper study of womankind is man, and as, moreover, the study is exceedingly diverting and not without excitement, I have noted for your guidance the chief characteristics of each type, with, I hope, sufficient detail to render them of service.

Now the Sheik is usually dark, with flashing eyes and a seductive manner. The is the essential. A man may be as fair as day, his eyes as dull as a cooked trout's, and still be a Sheik. But the seductive manner is the sine qua non. It proclaims itself even in such unromantic events as complaining to the Proprietress of the Cafeteria about the coffee. It is apparent alike in his clothes, his conversation, and his kisses^

As a corollary to the seductive manner, the Sheik has usually a strongly accentuated air of self-con-tent. He is the type of man who carries with him a mental picture of himself entitled, "Why Girls leave Home."

( A freshwoman : " Would you call Mr. St—b—1 a Sheik?")

I cannot recall having ever met a Caveman in the flesh,, but he is a style made familiar to us by stage, screen and book. His favourite uniform is something between that of a Cowboy and a South African Miner, with a suggestion of an Australian Sheep Farmer. Out-of-doors, you know. H e sometimes wears a coat but a waistcoat—never ! His shirt, rolled up as to sleeves, is frequently open at the neck to show off the bulging chest. and red corpuscles.

Beware of the Caveman. He isn't subtle like 1 the Sheik, but he succeeds through his sheer sim- j plicity. Cavemen rush in where angels fear to tread, H carry you off to their lair, and subdue you by j brutal methods. This scheme is advocated in the |[ cider text-books and will be found very ably ex-pounded in that monumental work "How to Woo g and Win a Wife ," which is included in the j j Fowlds' collection in the Library.

(Same freshwoman, nervously ) : " I am glad g I didn't dance with Mr. R—b—ns at Freshers' Welcome.") g

The Sheik is cunning, the Caveman is not g without shrewdness, but for exquisite subtlety com- H mend me to the Strong Silent Man. The efforts §§ of the other two are necessarily circumscribed. g Their characters themselves impose limitations^ Not so the Strong Silent Man. Save that he must not talk too much and must on occasion exhibit §§ a satisfying degree of masculine strength, he is as §f unfettered as the wild west wind. His master-piece of cleverness (and it takes a Very clever man j f to hold his tongue) was enlisting the support of g the novelist, the playwright, and the scenarian, g ninety-nine per cent, of whom now hold a brief g for the Strong Silent Man. g

The Strong Silent Man says nothing, but he says it in the most effective way. His tongue is g still, but his brain is working at top speed, devising g some scheme to entrap th.e unwary woman. Like M a spider, he squats in the centre of his web, exer- g cising his terrible fascination, a fascination all the g stronger because of the nerve shattering silence M which accompanies it. g

(Another Fresher: "Mr. Th m n ! who g would have believed i t !") g

Lastly the Worm. Poor Worm! The Shiek g who was too shy, the Caveman who was too courte- g ous, the Man who was neither strong nor silent— g just the Worm. He is your legitimate prey. Trick g him ! Break him ! Trample on him ! Nor g courage, nor strength, nor wit, nor beauty has he. g He is just the Mere Man. g

[23]

• i l l l : ! : ! l M l i l l l l l ! l l l i l l l i l l l l s ! i ! l i l l l l ! ! T H E K I W I * „,„ ,„„„

Sir Roger de Coverley in Town By " T H E SPECTATOR," March 15, 1926.

T J A V I N G received an invitation from my old friend Sir Roger de Coverley to pass a few

days with him at his own house, last week I accompanied him thither, having first transacted some legal business with one of his neighbours in the country, an ill-mannered fellow, connected with a case I had in hand at that time. This fellow, in thd course of our conversation, had been rude enough to refer to Sir Roger as "an old busy-body who was going up to town just to poke his nose into other people's affairs and to make a great appearance at the opening of the New Arts Building of the University, than which nothing could be more hideous, especially its offspring, the Tower ." The fellow was proceeding with much more in the same strain, when I remonstrated with him, upbraiding him gently for his lack of respect for a worthy old gentleman and for his poor appre-ciation of the beauties of original architecture. As I could make no impression on his obstinacy, how-ever, I withdrew, not without ruminating on the ignorance and stupidity of some people.

Sir Roger, indeed, made no secret of what brought him to town. It was to be present at the opening of the new University buildings. Sir Roger was proud of the fact that it was his College. H e had attended it for some years in his youth, in order to acquire that polish which was so evident in all his words and most simple actions. Though he had never actually taken a degree, he had, on his own part, attended nearly all the lectures twice, always repeating each course the following year. H e did this, he said, partly to impress the lectures thoroughly on his mind, and partly also to show his entire independence of examinations. The magnanimous old gentleman always maintained that since he was going to live in the country, he was loth to stand in the way of any hard-working student who had his way to make in the town. Acting partly from these philanthropic motives and partly on the advice of his professors, he did not interrupt the peaceful course of his studies with examinations.

O n the day of the opening ceremony, as I met my old friend at lunch, I saw that something had pleased him very much. It was an invitation to the Opening of the Arts Building, and contained Sir Roger's name correctly spelt on a very pleasing card of large dimensions, announcing the time and place

of the opening and requesting the pleasure of Sir Roger's company. The old knight was touched by the fact that the Registrar had not forgotten him.

Having arrived at the site of the opening, we were rewarded by a very pleasing scene. I took the opportunity of gazing around me at the gay as-sembly, and noticed with pride the number of graduates of the college who were present. Their hoods presented a fine and rare spectacle, one on which I was about to remark to Sir Roger when on looking round for the old gentleman, I found that he had disappeared. I soon caught sight of him however, talking affably to a group of white-haired gentlemen of intellectual appearance, who seemed to be old college friends. They treated Sir Roger with every mark of respect, while he accepted their homage with that air of an old-time ease and grace which he knew so well how to assume.

As Sir Roger returned to my side, proceedings began. A number of venerable gentlemen in turn addressed the gathering, the old knight listening at-tentively the while. Nothing can describe^ the acute disappointment on the old gentleman's face as we listened to speech after speech without hear-ing more than a few words. His face brightened, however, as he remarked in a stage whisper to me, that he would be sure to read it all in the Star and the Herald. And , to be sure, as the old knight said, the speakers looked well in their hoods and gowns, and the speeches would be well reported because he saw copies in some of the speakers' hands.

Suddenly Sir Roger's attention became riveted on a figure on the platform, whom he persisted in re-garding with the utmost astonishment and amaze-ment. T h e old knight, who had travelled a little, after intently regarding the figure for some minutes, asked me "Whether there was a University of Venice or not. On recollecting, however, that there was a visiting Japanese warship in the harbour at the time, Sir Roger hastily corrected himself, and, in-dicating the object of his astonishment, asked me whether the gentleman hailed from Tokio or Yoko-hama. When I informed him that the strangely-garbed gentleman was none other than Professor Worley, the local Professor of Chemistry, Sir Roger would scarcely believe me, and, after some minutes of deep thought, remarked to me in an awed tone, " W h a t a wonderful science Chemistry must be ! "

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[24]

i!l!l!!l'li!!ill!llllllillllll!!lill!!lll!!!IIIIIIH T H E K I W I

W e were now both beginning to feel rather tired, as, owing to the unaccountable lack of seats, we had stood all through the speeches. This posi-tion undoubtedly shows off academic dress to great-er advantage, but when one is as old as Sir Roger, it is but natural that the flesh should begin to weary. Even the new High Commissioner's speech did not dispel the feeling, although the old knight listened dutifully to what he did not comprehend.

But soon a hush fell over the assembly, and I felt a change come over my old friend. He was all attention now. The Governor-General was starting to speak. So intently did Sir Roger listen to the Governor's speech that he never once took his eyes off Sir Charles' face, but loyally waited for every word. At the conclusion of the speech, he turned to me and remarked how fitting it was that the other speakers had so subdued their voices as not to be heard, and that the only one whom we could hear should be the King's representative. This so pleased the loyal old gentleman that he was on the point of going up to the speakers and congratulating them on their forethought when the opening of the door by the Governor made him forget his charitable intentions.

Together we mounted the great stairway and proceeded to inspect the spacious building. Never once did Sir Roger speak as we walked from lec-ture hall to lecture hall, through library, study and collonade. It was not until the Club-house had been reached that the old knight unburdened him-self to me. "It is wonderful," he said, "marvellous and very, very beautiful. But," said the old gen-tleman, shaking his head, "this is not a University."

It touched the old knight s sense of the fitness of things, however, that among such lavish provision for the comfort of the staff, some afterthought had been bestowed on the question of student social life. It was characteristic of the old gentleman that

he looked at things still from the point of view of a student, and, although the College Authorities would doubtless censure him for it, nevertheless his attitude endears him to all who know him really well.

Sir Roger could not help remarking, as we walked through the handsome Club-rooms, what a departure it was from their old practice for the College authorities to interest themselves in the stu-dents. Such a thing, the old knight recollected, was rare in his day. Not that he blamed them for it, Sir Roger kindly hastened to say, for undoubt-edly the worthy gentlemen had to put examinations first. Undoubtedly the first consideration of a University must be its Syllabus of Lectures, its Re-gulations for Degrees, its Professorial Board and its Registrar. That was the position in his day at 'Varsity, he recollected.

Now things were changing. It delighted the old gentleman to notice that the student was at last gcing to be welcomed at the University, and that room had at last been found for him. Sir Roger invariably puts the best construction on everyone's actions, and always excuses everyone's defects. This day he endeared himself to all his hearers by his liberal and enlightened views. In fact, I over-heard a gentleman remark that it would be a good thing if the College Council took its cue from the old gentleman's attitude. Fortunately, Sir Roger was spared the embarrassment this remark must have caused him, as it was made at the time he was earnestly engaged in agreeing with a remark just made to him by a red-haired young lady in a gown, that the weather was "simply gorgeous."

Having whiled away a few more pleasant min-utes inspecting the College grounds, Sir Roger and I slowly began to wend our way homewards, the old knight the while beguiling the time with pleasant allusions to the afternoon's ceremony.

Hints to Housewives.

The thrifty housewife never wastes the water in which the cabbage has been cooked. Mixed with flour and used as a distemper for the walls, this gives just that facinating green tint that is so fashionable just now. To be quite up to date the panels should be picked out in that new tomato shade. This can be obtained quite cheaply by boiling the covers of last year's telephone directory with the yolk of an egg.

For those about to Marry. Great care should be exercised in choosing a

pattern for your new home. Remember that sim-plicity of outline is the one essential. If this in-volves the sacrifice of a bathroom or a back-door, why, sacrifice them cheerfully. For these things are as nothing in the eyes of the modern archi-tect. As for the back-door, there will almost cer-tainly be a window in the kitchen large enough to allow of the ejection of tea-leaves and other refuse.

[25]

!!•!:Ii:1',:-;::-i: : r !!., ;m:;.I:I.!,.,,;,,;.!,.;'!::, I T H E K I W I f!lli!llll!l!il;l!ll!llll!llllll'i!il!lilllllllll!!i^

V *

T h e Part-T ^ ^ L L who go in search of knowledge, all who

wish to hear a moral and to prosper by ex-ample, listen to this ancient fable which concerns the Part-time Student.

I will tell with awful detail of the fate that overtook him, of the torments and the tortures which resulted from his actions, which rewarded his presumption.

Long ago, when but a season had our College been erected, had our tower been uplifted glisten-ing white into the azure, then the cause of Edu-cation languished, withered, drooped and wilted. Men forsook the paths of learning in the mad pursuit of riches, spent but little time at College, walked but seldom in the Cloisters, never even joined the C. U. or attended Field Club Rambles, conned in haste their Latin Grammars, spoke with disrespect of classics, learned to hate examinations, said they were not tests of knowledge, passed the brightest hours in Queen Street, only ventured out for lectures, took down notes in shocking writing, rushed again away to Queen Street. They were known as Part-time Students.

All seemed dismal, all seemed hopeless, days of gloom for this our College and the scholars of the classics. Men from Oxford, men from Cam-bridge, men from Dublin and Dunedin sadly saw these Part-time Students rushing wildly from their lectures, never thinking of their College with its tower and its traditions, of the C. U. and the Lit. Club, and elections of the Stud. Ass., only thinking of diplomas as a means for increased wages. For the lure of gold had gripped them; for they were but Part-time Students

Yet throughout these years of darkness some upheld the lamp of learning, seized the torch and bore it onward, fanned its feeble flame to brightness, fanned it from a feeble flicker, from an ember growing colder, till it gained immense pro-portions, till it shone a radiant beacon on the narrow road to knowledge.

Then arose the Reverend Signors—men endow-ed with seasoned wisdom, well matured like mellow vintage, men who learned their Greek at Oxford or at Cambridge, or Dunedin. They deplored the social system which permitted in our Law Courts lawyers only versed in law-craft, men whose minds were wholly legal "No, it wasn't done in our time"; and the teachers, thousands of them, ignorant of all save teaching, lacking in the Col-

[

me Studen t lege spirit; even gowns, alas, were borrowed—-"Never did such things at Oxford, or at Cam-bridge or Dunedin. Must do something, do it quickly to uplift the College standard, to instill the College Spirit, andl the love of Alma Mater."

They discussed it at the Council, they discussed it at the Senate. All the Judges were supporters; they decreed and none gain said them. Held a score of public meetings, wrote long letters to the "Herald," long epistles full of wisdom, called in experts from a distance—men from Bangor; men from Melbourne—who possessed a colossal wisdom; held commissions and inquiries, wrote reports and drew conclusions and devised a plan of action.

Then the hordes of Part-time Students came to take their meagre lectures, came as usual in the evenings. But they were refused admittance. All the doors very closely guarded, all the marble halls protected from the feet of the defilers, from the sordid money changers, blatant with their little learning. Those who lacked the College spirit were denied the right of entry. Those who entered did so knowing they would never see the sun-light till they had achieved perfection, till their learning was ccmpleted to the standard set by Oxford. They could never scale the ramparts, nor could pass the guarded portals till that stand-ard was attained.

There was nothing to disturb them or distract them from their studies no commercial undertakings no commotion as in Queen Street. In the cloister-ed halls of learning, guarded from disturbing fac-tors, there they mellowed through the ages in the atmosphere of classics, and absorbed the College spirit; let it penetrate their systems; let it saturate their natures; learned to love their Alma Mater and to honour her traditions for they all were Full-time Students.

And the C.U. grew in its greatness, flourished like the verdant bay-tree; every student was a member, every member was a student, every one a W H O L E - T I M E S T U D E N T .

HEARD AT FRESHERS' WELCOME He (old timer continuing conversation after re-

marks on the weather) : "I suppose you are taking an Art's course?"

She (quite fresh): "Oh no! I am taking lec-tures in English and Latin."

^ IfiifdiriirrrffiirfiijtL1 f:NniiM)JMTHM>N[HfMniH'!H'!!nfKitinnnnPinntHffiH T H E K I W I * „„„,„ „,„„ *

Convict 4 9 r p H E mist was damp, grey, impalpable ! It

wreathed round him with drab, yielding walls, terribly reminiscent to the dripping, shivering, stum-bling man of those cold, impassive cell walls—how many miles?—how many years?—behind him. It stifled him with heavy insistent pressure, and almost involuntarily he raised one tired arm to fend it off. The ground was rough, uneven, and covered with a loose dressing of sharp restless stones, as his bare bleeding feet found out. It seemed like all eternity, but could not be more than five hours ago, when darkness had fallen on the world, and he could only stumble on—on into mystery.

"Curse!" The word cut through the envelop-ing mantel as a loose stone brought him to his knees. Wearily, he dragged to his feet and re-sumed his way, and for a moment a smile, faint and tinged with the bitter cynicism of weariness, twitched his tired lips at the thought that perhaps he was now stumbling back—back to the horror of prison. But whatever the way, he must go on— on into the darkness, the unfathomable, the un-known.

Vaguely he remembered that years ago he had read the "Inferno," and his brain, still alert, told him that his flight, his escape long hours before was in reality the crossing of the Styx, and this, this agonising onward toiling, was his Inferno. But he was incapable of long consecutive thought, and gradually he lapsed back into a dull comatose state with but one burning impulse driving him relentlessly onward.

Once he paused, sinking into a shivering, de-graded creature that muttered wildly, "They're after me ! They've got me!" But the pitiless, nauseating veil of mist gave back only the echo of his own faltering footsteps.

"It must be the music of the spheres following me as I go!" he thought with incoherent inconsequence, and his brain hammered on at the thought, "Music of the spheres. Music in Hell ? What had he to do with music ? He had left that behind, eternal years before, together with his manhood, his body, himself. This was only his soul, clank-ing through—"

His brain lapsed once more and time dragged on. But peace, even the mental peace of oblivion, was denied him, and soon he recurred to his thoughts.

"How damnably weary and heavy was this soul

of his ! We're not souls always, light—airy— ethereal—-"

Through the mist-laden air of the evening—or was it morning ?—echoed a sudden sound, far away and low. The startled tongue of a dog, of a hound ! Cowering, he sunk to his knees, his shaking hands covering his face. For a second he knelt, numbed almost unconscious. Then sudden action seized him, and he commenced to run— on—on—a swaying, staggering, zigzag path that led on—and on—. One thought guided him ! Water, he must find water to hide the scent— Water!—there must be water somewhere—some-where !

Then on asudden his flight was arrested by a dimly-seen, towering shape that menaced him through the mist. Desperately he struggled, his breath sobbing, and gasping—

"No ! I'll never give in!" He stopped to look ! He was wrestling with a scare-crow ! A shaky, wild laugh shook him, and to the many haunting shapes that followed him was added the terror of madness—and he staggered on ! Again he heard the cry, and it was nearer ! The im-penetrable mist was suddenly filled with lean, cruel leaping grey bodies, with blood-red nostrils and white bared fangs ! H e felt their hot breath on his chilled face, their claws rending his clothes! He lifted one shaking arm to strike—and struck the empty, ghostly mist !

The end came unexpectedly. He felt the ground suddenly soften, and slope away beneath his feet, and then — water ! His Inferno was ended !

The huntsmen, coming home dejectedly from a wasted day, found him.

"Poor devil!" murmured the Master of the Hunt, when the first shuddering horror at the sight of death was over. " H e must have escaped from the prison, and that's fifty miles away. God knows how he got here!"

And God alone knew !

Recipes. A most useful recipe for students at this time

of the year is oil and troubled waters. The latter may be obtained at almost any time from any mem-ber of the Professorial Board.

[27]

THE KIWI *„„

Unski l led Labour T T was obvious that I would not get a section.

Everything pointed to that Of course I had weathered the Terms' Exams. Most people do that. It is possible to anticipate questions a little in Terms, but Degree—. Oh, well it's different.

I said to myself: "Look here you'll have to start all over again and do the same subjects in the same grade. That ' s what happened to Blank, and his bursary was stopped and he had to pay fees. Dash it all I'm not going to pay fees. I believe in Free Secular and Compulsory Education with emphasis on the "Free ."

"I ' l l give up swat and get another job where it is not necessary to have letters after your name. A n d then, when the results are published, I can say, 'Don't care, anyway. I've got a good job all work and no swat. Great prospects you know. Captain of industry some day. '

"Let 's make a start," I said reaching for the paper. I scanned the front page.

YOUTH wanted for the Hardware Trade Blank <& Son Ltd.

"Let 's give it a go Better cut out the whole column and take it with me in case I don't like the first job."

You know where Blank and Son's place is. I entered and accosted a man in a black apron.

"I 'm after the job that's advertised here," I began.

"Dunno. Better see about it upstairs," he said as he walked away.

Upstairs there were numbers of clerks writing in big ledgers. . I interrupted the nearest one.

"Can you tell me," I began submissively, "who I gotter see about a j ob?"

"Dunno. 'Spose Mr . Blank. He 's not here yet. Wai t till he comes "

I waited. A dapper man replete (as the Land Agents say) with pince-nez and watch-chain arrived and glanced round menacingly.

"That ' s him," prompted my previous informant. I stood in the way of Mr . Blank. "I 've come

after the job you advertised," I began. " H o w old are you ? "Where have you been working ? "Wel l what do you want to start working for

now?" "Look here, young fellow. See here. W h a t I

want is someone to grow up with the business;

someone who will stay with the business and devote his whole life to it, None of these College youths who get tired of work and leave after a month. A n d you've had no previous experience in the trade ? No, of course, not. I want some-one who doesn't have to be shown anything. You don't know how to work do

"Yes, Mr . Smith. Did you——" I was soon out in the street. I took out the Sits.

Wanted column and perused it thoughtfully.

y o U N G MAN for Fancy Goods. Apply :

" O h , well, I'll have a look. No harm in trying." I tried. A man was dusting the counter with a

feather broom. "Is the job that's advertised taken yet ?" I asked

hopefully. He paused, broom in hand, and called through a

doorway, " M r . Brown, someone about a job." Mr. Brown appeared. H e was bald-headed and

insignificant looking. In addition he wore spectac-les and a collar that was too big for him.

"Af t e r the job, eh?" he demanded. Done any of this work before? None at all, eh? No show-card writing ? Well , that's a pity. You see I want someone who knows how to write tickets."

I saw. "But it might not take me very long to learn," I suggested hopefully.

"Then come back when you've learned. No, 'fraid you won't do. Sorry, Good Morning."

I walked down Queen Street a sadder and wiser person. Someone bumped into me. It was Jim. H e used to be at school with me and he is in a mer-chant's office now.

"Wotyerdoin ' ?" he asked. "Looking for a job " I replied. "Can you put me

on to one?" " W h a t kind of one ?" he enquired. "Oh, anything," I answered. "Wel l , if you don't mind hard work," he said,

"go down to our wool store. They want meij to stack bales and do odd jobs."

"Thanks ," I said, and disappeared into the crowd.

The head storeman sat at a table taking down numbers. I watched him for half-an-hour. Suddenly he stopped and stared at me.

" W a n t a job?" he demanded. "Yes ," I faltered. "Done any of this before?" he enquired, eyeing

me suspiciously.

Illllllllllll [28]

p!i!!il!!llil!!ill!!lllllllllllllll!H T H E

*

"Done any store work at all?" I told the truth. "No good here then," he concluded resuming

his writing. "We can get plenty of men who do know how to work."

I went and sat on the wharf and meditated. I looked across the harbour. The salt-laden breeze reminded me that my Anglo-Saxon ancestors were sea-rovers. The sea called me. In the bay between the wharves floated a benzine tin, some cabbage leaves and a sodden loaf of bread. Disengaged watersiders sat on piles or stood in groups, discuss-ing Saturday's races and the cost of living.

I was resolute. I would seek my bread upon the waters, since no career was open to me on land. I approached an ancient mariner who smoked in silence, gazing the while at a nearby hulk.

"Morning mate," I began diffidently. I feel the irresistible call of the sea. I want a job on a boat. How do I get one ?"

He was a kindly old salt. After a pause he asked, "Never been to sea, eh ?" Of course I had not.

"Well, you see," he continued, "that'll make it hard to get a job. There's lots of boys like you as has run away from home and is eager to get a ship. No, jobs is scarce. Of course," he re-flected, "now, if you was a fully qualified A.B. or a certificated greaser, or if you had served your time as a cook's assistant, well, then it'ud be different. Still there's no knowing. You might be taken on to peel the onions. But look here," he added confidentially, "You take my advice and go back home. And I've been to sea, man and boy, this forty years."

K I W I liiniii^^ * § j

I was rather inclined to think he was right. g Every avenue was closed to me. I was only one J of the unskilled, one of the army of unwanteds, | that constitutes the surplus of the labour market. j | While occupied with these sad reflections I ran J into Tom. I know Tom well. Used to go to g school with him, in fact. H e looked the picture g of material prosperity. I was amazed.

"What are you doing now," I asked breathless- §g ly ! |

"School-teaching," he said laconically. "But J holidays now," he added hopefully. "Always holi- g days at school—holidays and paydays and week §j ends. Great life ! By the way, what are you g doing?" (

"I've crashed again," I answered sadly, "so g I'm going to give up swat and do some work. But g I realise now the difficulty of the unskilled worker g in finding work. I've applied for dozens of jobs, g but they don't want inexperienced people." g

Tom smiled. He could afford to smile. His g face was radiant and he exclaimed enthusiastically, g "Take on teaching. They'll have anyone. g You've passed matric. That 's no disadvantage. g Just fill in a form, I'll show you how, sign your g name, take the oath of allegiance, and then you're g made for life. Can't get kicked out for incom- M petence. Success assured if you're good at games and dancing. You're a born teacher. Everyone is. Look at me now "

I looked at him.

1 have no cares or responsibilities now. I'm made for life. I'm a teacher !

£ven Falls rjlHE sinking Sun that pissed the Waves, J- And laughing blushed a rosy red,

Most gloriously splendid laves The weary white-capp'd mountain head; And mischieviously darting With pixie beams a-starting Recalls a fleeting smile to the face whence smiles

had fled.

With soft caressing hand the Sun Hath wiped its tears away; While in his wake doth Twilight run Consoling for the day. With distant cattle lowing, Rills tremulously flowing, Night spreads a Welcome cover from the mountain

to the bay.

Credo

LL that's young, so very young, Is beautiful, ah, beautiful.

A song first sung . . . The crescent moon . . . All that's weak, so Very weak, Is lovable, ah, lovable, A mere expanse of open beak Or just a furless quiverer . . . These must we cherish Cherish with tenderness Lest beauty perish And pity die.

F E L I X A M O R Y .

!llllll|!|iiillllllllllllllll!ll!ll!llllM [29]

p l l l l l l I IH I I I I I I I I I iH THE KIWI j i i l l l l l i l M

g * „„„„„ „„„„

| Women ' s Wor ld | A Garden Party

February 29th the executive of the A .U .C . -S.A. and students held a brilliant Garden

Reception in the Grounds of the New College, Princes Street, in honour of their pet "Kiwi 's" twenty-first birthday.

The elements seemed to set themselves in har-mony with the spirit of the gathering. A s the wind roared merrily through the trees, the sun made chequered shadows underneath, most happi-ly matching the rows of taxis stretched far down past the Grand Hotel and Fort Britomart to the Ferry " T . " The music of flags flapping in the breeze blended sweetly with the clacking of tong-ues and tea-cups. Afternoon tea was tastefully served under the spreading branches of the grand old trees in the shadow of the gaily-decked tower.

The gay ties and socks of the gentlemen students formed a pleasing contrast to the neat, stylish

black gowns of the ladies. The grounds were brilliantly laid out in red carpet, and receptacles were placed at convenient intervals for depositing cigarette butts, cake crumbs, broken crockery, etc.

The President of the Students Association re-ceived the guests in a charming arbour tastefully draped in mauve and black, and decorated with the Wooden Spoon and other trophies. During the afternoon the Governor-General popped over the fence in his neighbourly way and greatly help-ed the youthful hosts and hostesses in entertaining their guests. At the end of the afternoon His Excellency, in a few well-chosen words, congratu-lated the students on the success of their enter-tainment, and concluded with a Biblical reference to the "Writing on the Wal l . "

Among the first to arrive were the members of the Staff . . . . [Rest censored.— Ed.]

r « o j c WW O WA M "-v £» V ' 5 fr r « r ' < U T <a ~ r-> &

A M A T T E R OF O P I N I O N

WRU TKOSE /RL MVOUN OR WFL / T < « « T E S ~TH TFCF^RJO^, TXi e 11 9 .c. ~ ' OS - '

!'ll!ilil!ll!!l!lli!!;iliiilli!!;l!!l!l!i!!l

"'" T H E K I W I

+„„„, „„ * Hilling

The Tale of Macbeth Simplified and abridged for the use of Advanced Students.

\jOW once on a time — let history speak ! J- * A kmg reigned in Scotland called Duncan

the meek, And he had a vassal called Sandy Macbeth, IVhose wife had a tongue that would drive you to

death. This Mac had a great little bee in his bonnet To get him the throne and sit himself on it. A jolly old wheeze I guess you'll agree Having a Royal Box at His Majesty's FREE ! Well Mac met some funny old dames on the moor Who told him he'd rule over Scotland for sure. Macbeth was diluted and wrote to his wife And promised my lady the time of her life. A lunch up at Milne's and a visit to Dixie A Ford or a Rolls and for tea A.U.C.!

Not very much later—so history runs-Old Duncan of Scotland and two of his sons, Came down on a jaunt to spend the week-end With dear Lady M. and Sandy his friend. The Macs dashed outside to welcome them in— "By JoVe, Dune., old bean, you ARE looking

thin!" "Oh rot! dear old boy, I'm feeling O.K. Haven't felt better for many a day." "Well, come right inside and we'll all have a spot You've come a long way and the weather's

deuced hot." "Stout Fella! that sounds lihe a bit of all right We'll trickle inside and all have a bite." Quoth she, "Take a pew while I rustle the drinks, Then just stagger upstairs and snatch forty winks." So all Was rejoicing and laughter and song, And nobody hit upon anything wrong. Now, when all was still and the moonlight shone

bright, That is to say, in the dead o' the night, Macbeth and his wife were hatching this plan For shortening His Highness's years by a span. But Sandy backed out—not keen on the stunt. He excused himself saying his tooth-pick "was blunt, But Mrs. Mac B. she sat up and roared (I guess she was thinking of losing that Ford!) "You bandy-legged cowardly son of a gun If e'er Scot was squint-eyed—By stars ! you're

that one !

Hell's bells! ma wee de'il, ye're no man that I ken You light out of here before I count ten And park stiletto in Duncan's hard heart Or else ! / / / Mac made haste to

depart; He fox-trotted upstairs to Duncan in bed, Like Dick Wellington's cat in size sevens his tread High on his toes like a real Irish fairy, And stabbed poor old D. through the left pulmon-

ary. The rex breathed his last, and turned up his toes (For thus it is, reader, all humanity goes !) Then Mrs. Mac B. trickled gently upstairs To see if her hubby had fixed his affairs; She scolded him roundly for making a mess But Mac didn't listen I'm bound to confess; He was wishing he hadn't been just quite so quick To help the late Duncan his bucket to k^ck • Then horrors ! Fire ! A knock ai the door ! ! The wretched homme just about sank through

the floor ! The porter roused out of a comfortable sleep Had vocab at once comprehensive and deep He cursed the night-callers and told them in ire To follow their noses and they'Id come to a FIRE! Which wasn't polite, you all will agree, But how would you like to be roused out at three?

'Twas Gnly two Macs come to call up the King And they soon discovered this horrible thing. For a while the Macbeths tried on the King's

crown, But it pretty soon weighted poor Mrs. M. down. She severed connections with this menial sphere And Mac was left lonesome—unhenpecked, poor

dear ! But the little affair rather got on his mind, Kept him a-jumping and peering behind Especially when ghosts ! — dashed rotten, eh,

what ? Sat right on his chair and supped from his pot ! ! But spirits and ghosts weren't intended, you see, For ordinary mortals like Sandy Mac B.

So MacDuff—you remember the jonny no doubt— Made war on the fcing and put him to rout He captured the joker and did him lo death Which put the kybosh on poor old Macbeth.

[31 ]

THE KIWI

Vexed Quest ions ("Kiwi" Special Reporters' Interview with Governor-General.)

fJ^HE intense "interest displayed in College circles in the following vexed questions led the "Kiwi"

to call for its two smartest reporters and commission them to call at Government House to interview His Excellency the Governor-General on these points:

(i) Did His Excellency, on the occasion of the Official Opening Ceremony, walk °°er from Government House, or did he come by car?

A very nice question of etiquette is in-volved in this question. The economically inclined considered the latter alternative ex-travagant, while sticklers for ceremony con-sidered the former infra dig.

(ii) Why was not the Editor, on the same oc-casion, presented to His Excellency with the rest of the Students' Association Executive?

As the dignity of the "Kiwi" was direct-ly involved, an explanation of this omission was essential.

Foiled in their attempt to draw taxi-fare from the business manager, the reporters set out on foot with clean collars, shining shoes, sleekly brushed hair and tremendous resolution. The sentry's bay-onet gleamed brightly in the March night air as they passed him with his rifle at the present. Before them twinkled the lights of the Southern Cross and behind them the lights of the Northern Club.

Hoping that everybody was out, they nobly pressed the door-bell. Immediately two lackeys or minions appeared, took their cards, and escorted them half the length of the hall, where they hand the reporters over to two more magnificently garbed lackeys and/or minions. These desired the report-ers to follow them into His Excellency's presence. At this moment our cause was almost lost by the thoughtless action of one of the reporters who, withdrawing a pin from the lapel of his coat, absently-mindedly inserted it a good inch into the nearest lackey's calf. The lackey's language, cries, and Scotch sword dance would have been more seemly in a younger and more agile man. His companion, not to be outdone, contrived to mis-place his foot on the end of a rug and, greatly to the reporters' mingled sorrow and diversion, did not bounce more than once. Muttering curses, which sounded like "may the curse of the mixed

haggis of the O'Briens descend on ye !" He put his hand out to aid himself to rise at the cruicial spot, where his companion, who was now marking time with military precision, placed his large foot on it——- (Report censored—Ed.).

Eventually the reporters arrived at the recep-tion room and were ushered into the Presence. Bowing low, they advanced nervously to the raised chair where His Excellency was seated. The inter-view then proceeded as follows:

"Kiwi" Reporter: What is your name ? Governor General: Charles Fergusson, Bart.,

LL.D., G.C.M.G., etc. K. R . : Who gave you this name ? G. G. : By the Grace of God of this Dominion

of New Zealand Governor-General. K. R. : Did you by word and/or deed open the

new College Buildings ? G. G. : I did. K. R. (absentmindedly) : Did you fall or were

you pushed ? G. G. : I beg your pardon ! K. R. Did you walk or did you motor round

to open the college ? G. G. : Neither. (Sensation). K. R. : Did you take Diamond, Checker, White

or Yellow Taxi ? G. G. : None. I took a City Council Bus. K. R. (aside) : I hope you returned it. (Aloud)

Ahem! Re the inspection at Ngaruawahia. Rumour has it that, finding the way barred by a guard with fixed bayonet, you climbed through the fence. Is that true ?

G. G. : I decline to answer on the grounds that it might criminate me. (Sensation!)

K. R . : Why was the Editor not presented to you at the Official Opening Ceremony ?

G. G . : Well, Mr. McCrae—the Registrar, I mean—had told me all about the College Council, and the Professorial Board, and the International Federation of University Women, and I wasn't sure whether there were any students. Several ex-cellent young ladies and gentlemen were presented and I thought they represented the full strength of the Student Block. Now I come to think of it, I did notice a tall disting—(Censored—Ed.) and

lllllllllll!lllllllllllllll!lllllllllllllll!lllllllllll!M [32]

T H E K I W I |iiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I naturally thought that he would be specially pre-sented on a special occasion, but it must have been

gentlemen. Good evening.

And the lackeys that showed them in, showed them out.

—G. W .

HEARD AT'OPENING CEREMONY "Why isn't the Governor-General in fancy S

H overlooked. Thank you for calling upon me, dress?" "Who is the funny little man in the yellow hood m

who cannot keep still?" M

HEARD DOWN TOWN. "Who is this O'Shea ? Is he the janitor ?"

P H E W ! First Law Student : "Was I much of a job

after the Capping ?" Second Law Student: "Well , you were putting

a penny in the letter box in the 'Varsity and looking up at the clock in the tower to tell your weight."

Plllilllllllll [33]

^^yIi 11111 liiifiriRiifjiniTiiiiRniiiiiitmniiiimii]iniiuiiiniiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim^ T H E K I W I Niiir^M^^ „„„„ „„,*

Reports of Clubs and Societies

A.U.C. LITERARY CLUB Prsident : Professor Egerton. Vice-Presidents : Miss Forde, Mr. Ardern. Student Chairman : Mr. J. N. Wilson. Hon. Sec. : Miss Brierley. Hon. Treas. : Mr. Woolcott. Committee : Misses Lee, Cranwell, Y. Bouillon,

Messrs. Bowden, Lee. HTHE above Committee was elected at the annu-

al general meeting held on March 30th. The first meeting of the year consisted of the

reading by various club members of an entertain-ing series of parodies, on Tuesday, April 13th. The Committee has in hand arrangements for the production of Milne's "Wurzel Flummery" be-fore the end of this term, and of Tarkington's dramatic "Beauty and the Jacobin" for the first meeting of next term. It is hoped that members will co-operate heartily with the Executive in the matter of reading at meetings and rehearsing plays, so that the promise of a successful season for 1926 may be amply fulfilled.

G . BRIERLY, H o n . S e c .

DEBATING SOCIETY President : Professor W . Anderson. Student President: Mr. A . B. Thompson. Vice-Presidents : Miss S. Loeber, Mr. S. Black. Committee : Miss O. Jewell, Miss K. Potter,

Messrs. Gilling, Straubel. Hon. Sec. and Treas.: Mr. R. W . Towers.

TT is early to make predictions but it appears that the Debating Society is entering upon a

most successful year. The syllabus drawn up for the first and second terms provides for varied and interesting discussions. With the greatly increased membership some good debating should be devel-oped.

The Trial Debate was held early in the term to select a team for the Easter Tournament at Dunedin. Out of a field of eight, Messrs N. A. Leonard and H. J. Butler were selected, with Messrs. A . B. Thompson and C. R. Straubel next in order. The judges, Messrs R. McVeagh and A. G. Davis and Professor Anderson, placed on record their appreciation of the high standard of the debating. The subject was, "That Racial Equality within the British Empire is a Desirable End."

1 he Freshers' Debate took place before a large audience in the College Hall on March 31st. The audience enjoyed itself immensely. The speakers, however, stood up to the interjections in splendid style and showed very marked ability. Miss Ruth Walker was adjudged best debater and will hold the silver Fresher's Mug for the year. Mr. Usher was placed second.

The congratulations of the society are due to Mr. N. A. Leonard, who won the prize for the best speaker in the Tournament Debate. W e learn that the Auckland Team gave a fine account of itself.

This year the society is attempting to encourage impromptu speaking from members by providing only a mover and seconder at each debate. It is hoped to have the assistance of several of the leading public speakers in Auckland at some of the discussions, Mr. Lee, M.P., having already consented to speak on "Universal Disarmament."

A cordial invitation is tended to all who are interested in the society to join up. Membership cards and copies of the syllabus may be obtained from the committee.

R . W . T O W E R S , H o n . S e c .

pirniM T H E *,„„„„

CHRISTIAN UNION NOTES I J^HE Christian Union is a part of a world-wide

fellowship of students who are united in a common purpose to follow Jesus Christ as the one sure guide for all mankind in every sphere of thought and conduct. Its activities centre round the study of the life and teachings of Jesus and the practical applications of these principles to everyday life. With this purpose in view, study circles and meetings are organised so that mem-bers may get together for study, discussion and fellowship.

Last January at Temuka, Canterbury, was held the annual conference of the New Zealand Student Movement. There one met students of all types, past, present, and in the case of secondary school delegates, future, meeting, discussing, hoping, planning, playing, laughing, eating, together; and that which gave unity to this collection was ihe central object of thought—the consideration of the great questions arising from the conflict of races, and the relation of the ideals of Christianity there to. It is useless to attempt to convey the spirit of Conference in a few lines of print, but if any enquiring "fresher" should desire to obtain some inkling of its meaning let him ask some "Confer-encite and observe the look of reflective joy that gleams in his eyes and betrays itself in the corners of his mouth. And let him remember that Confer-ence next January is not to be held in the bleak wastes of South Canterbury but in the compara-tively genial and home-like atmosphere of ihe Wellington Province.

Coming, then, from the inspiration to the thought and study given by the Temuka Conference we are hoping to carry on the good work by running circles to study racial relationships in the countries of the Pacific and the set of problems arising from the clash of Last and West. These circles have already been organised and the times and places of meeting may be found by asking any member of the C. U. Executive.

Bible Study circles are this year being run on somewhat new lines. It is felt that in the past the circles have not been as interesting or as help-ful as they might, because the study books used have to some extent limited the range of dis-cussion. This year the Gospel of St. Mark is being studied without any set study-book, and it is hoped thus to get nearer to the Bible facts and to get a freer interchange of ideas.

As in other years general meetings are being held this year, some on Wednesday nights and others on Sunday. The dates and times of these

•HDIIIIinilllllllllM

[

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„„..,„, * |

meetings are announced regularly on the notice j board. At these meetings we hear speakers, either | students or outsiders, on topics of interest, and have | an opportunity of discussing these questions. W e I also are able to hear and meet in a social way the | distinguished visitors who from time to time come | into our midst. As regards these we are this | year remarkably favoured, for not only have ] we Donald Grant, whose coming would alone J make 1926 a memorable year, but also Dr. Mott, the founder and president of the Student Move-ment, chairman of the World Executive of the Y.M.C.A. , chairman of the International Board of Missions and a prominent leader in the Christian world to-day. He will be in Auckland towards the end of the first term, and, although his stay is not prolonged, a couple of meetings have been arranged for students, one on Saturday evening, May 8th, and the other on the following Sunday afternoon, May 9th. 1926, because of his visit, is the most note-worthy year in the history of the New Zealand Student Movement since 1896, which was also a red-letter year because of a great visitor—Dr. Mott.

Our newly-appointed General Secretary, Mr. Donald Grant, is a man of wide experience as a Secretary of the World Student Christian Feder-ation. His, perhaps, unique knowledge of post-war conditions in Europe, especially those affecting the student population, should make his visit of exceptional interest to all students. Those who have had the privilege of taking part in work-days will be interested to hear that he has had a very active part in the spending of their hard earned contribution.

D. G. Mawson, Hon. Sec.

FREE DISCUSSION SOCIETY "We're poor little lambs who've lost our way, E "We're little black sheep who've gone astray." g

— K I P L I N G . G

HpHIS is the youngest and smallest society in the j j University. Its present title is dictated by gj

our unassuming modesty and our consideration for the susceptibilities of a sister society. Among the initiated it is l'nown by a different name.

The aim of the society is to encourage dia-lectical discussion cf subjects—theological, politi-cal, educational and social. A cordial welcome will be given to any eminent divines who care to attend meetings.

Last year the activities of the Society included a paper by Mr. Syme "On Some Aspects of Primi-tive Religion." The conclusion reached by the aud-

T H E K I W I iiiiiiui[

ience after much profound discussion was "That religion in its primitive aspects is mainly emotion about food." Two papers by Mr. Andrews and Mr. Meiklejohn on "Science versus Aestheticism." The fact that Mr. Meiklejohn did not explain exactly what he thought aestheticism meant, de-tracted but little from the excellence of their per-formance.

After the Fair an excursion was held to Wai-heke. This was an unqualified success.

With regard to new members we would state that the Society, while not seeking to proselytise, nevertheless, welcomes all who care to attend meetings. Further information may be obtained from the Secretary.

H . F. and W . E. MCNICKLE, Retiring Sees.

SCIENTIFIC SOCIETY President : Professor F. P . Worley. Vice-Presidents : Messrs. T . C. Lancaster, W . F.

Short. Student Chairman : Mr. N. S. Alexander. Committee : Misses K. M. Leonard, M. G.

Schmidt; Messrs. K. E. Bullen, L. H . Lidgard.

' J H E year 1925 was the most successful year the Scientific Society has yet experienced.

The membership constituted a record for the So-ciety and the attendance at each of the regular meetings was highly satisfactory. A pleasing fea-ture of the meetings was the lively discussion which followed each address. It is hoped that members will not have lost the faculty of discussion when the Society meets again in April.

Perhaps the most notable event in the history of the Society took place on September 30th when Sir Ernest Rutherford lectured on "Recent Ad-vances in Modern Physics."

Other activities of the Society during the latter part of the year included the following:

July 13th. — Miss E. M. Simmons gave a paper on "Precious Stones." The subject was treated from a geological point of view, and contained many interesting details.

July 25th. — The annual Social Evening was held in the English lecture room. A very attrac-tive programme was arranged, and the evening was a pronounced success. The annual Peanut Race was again won by the Physics Department.

July 27th .— Mr. W . E. LaRoche gave the final lecture of the course on "The Production of Organisms." The lecturer is to be congratulated on his clear treatment of the subject.

August 10th. — An excursion was held to the Glassworks, Penrose, where an interesting morning was spent. The manager of the works presented the Society with a glass walking-stick.

October 26th. — The annual Picnic was held to Maraetai. Though not a financial success, the picnic was very satisfactory from all other points of view.

The following syllabus of lectures has been arranged for the 1926-27 session : April 6th.—-"Expert Evidence," Presidential Ad-

dress by Professor Worley. April 26th.—"Bird Life," by Mr. R. A. Falla. June 14th.—"Alkali Industry," by Mr. M. C.

Franklin. June 21st.—"Fact and Fancy in Nature," by Miss

E. M. Davis. "Bacteria and Man," by Miss E. M.

Stallworthy. June 28th.—"Development of Telephony," by Mr.

T . Clarkson. July 5th.—"Petroleum and Power Alcohol," by

Mr. A. W . Keyes. July 12th.—"Colloids," by Mr. G. R. Butterfield. July 19th.—"Our Varied Vegetation," by Mr. D.

Barr. July 26th.—"Mosquitoes," by Mr. E. F. Thomp-

son. August 2nd.—"Electrons," by Mr. N. S. Alex-

ander. Excursions to places of scientific interest will

be held during the year. There will also be a picnic and a social evening for members of the society.

COMMERCE STUDENTS' SOCIETY

r F H E R E is very little to report since the issue of the last "Kiwi," except that the annual

picnic was held in January, when a very enjoy-able afternoon was spent at Matiatia.

A few notes from the Commerce Students' Soc-iety might prove interesting to readers of the "Kiwi."

The Auckland University College Commerce Students' Society has been reestablished for the purpose of more closely linking the Commerce Students with the members of the New Zealand Society of Accountants, and the objects of the Society are embodied in Clause I of the Rules, which clause states:— "The objects of the So-ciety are the mutual help and benefit of its mem-bers by means of Lectures, Essays, and Discus-sions upon subjects of interest to Commerce Stu-

[36]

Pi!!ill!l!!lli!lli!lli!l!l!ii:ill!liilll T H E

'* „„„„

dents and upon any other matters which in the opinion of the Committee are calculated to promote the interest of its members and to forward the aims and objects of the School of Commerce."

Membership is open to all past and present students of the Auckland School of Commerce (full members), and to those interested in the study and advancement of Commerce (associate members subject to the approval of the Committee).

The Society is desirous of a greater interest being taken in its activities by Public Accountants, and for this purpose endeavours to secure lectures by practising members of the profession. The subscription is included in the Consolidated Fee.

M R . G. O. C A L D E R , C / O Messrs. Hanna and Tole, Shortland Street, City.

ENGINEERING AND ARCHI-TECTURAL SOCIETY

President: Professor C. R. Knight. Vice-President: D. E. Harkness. Student Vice-President: G. P . Paterson. Student Chairman: T . C. Hay. Honorary Secretary: A . B. Jones. Assistant Secretary: R. Muston. Committee: G. A. V. Edgcumbe, R. L. Auburn,

J. Hunter, J. Brooke, E. Hunter, C. V . Robinson, A. Withcumb.

I N U R I N G the last year the Engineering and Architectural Faculties amalgamated uncon-

stitutionally by informal consent of the parties concerned, and this year a change in the con-stitution will take place, giving the Architectural faculty a definite status and changing the official title to "The Engineering and Architectural Soc-iety."

The membership during 1925 was close on 60, and the year was quite a successful one, a good programme of lectures and social activities having been carried through. Various visits of consider-able interest were arranged and were, on the whole, well attended.

Apart from the lectures presented by various local-engineers several Students' papers of a high standard were given, the prize generously donated by Mr. Harkness for the best Students' lecture being won by G. P . Paterson, who spoke on "The Tauranga Hydro-Electric Station."

The annual dinner of the Society was held in the Tiffin Restaurant, and was a splendid success, nearly 70 being present, including many local engineers and members of the College Staff and Council.

K I W I llll!llllll!Illi]III!lill]lllll!l!lll]IIIIIIM

„„„„„„„ „„,....„.*

Now that the Engineering School or more affect-ionately, "The Old Tin Shed," is closer to the main building, it is expected that this Society will make itself more widely known than it has been in the past. With the enthusiasm and interest of the two interlinked faculties behind it, it should certainly look forward to a highly successful year. The President for the current year is Professor Knight, and all enquiries should be addressed to Mr. A. Jones, Hon. Sec., or Mr. Muston, Assist. Hon. Sec.

A UCKLAND UNIVERSITY LA W STUDENTS' SOCIETY

President : Professor R. M. Algie, LL.M. Vice-Presidents : Messrs. W . R. L. Vallance and

W . H . G. Kensington. Hon. Secretary : Mr. S. Von Sturmer. Hon. Treasurer : Mr. R. H . Forder. Committee : Messrs. S. D. E. Weir, Maxwell S.

Walker, R. Munro.

A F T E R its enforced idleness of last year, the Society looks forward to a busy and suc-

cessful programme this year, and the encouraging attendance at the annual general meeting pro-mises very well in this connection.

One of the pleasing features of the annual general meeting was the manner in which the younger students attended and voted for junior men on the committee. With their own contem-poraries representing them the first and second year men should overcome the feeling which has former-ly discouraged them, that the proceedings at the meetings are too advanced for them.

Our energetic President has an attractive pro-gramme in view for this year, and it is hoped that the Society will be honoured with a visit from one or more of our judges. In our new quarters we are also in a position to receive eminent guests who, more frequently than the general public is aware, pass through these parts.

The Secretary wishes to remind all intending members to send in their names to him, c /o Messrs. Wynyard, Wilson and Co., Solicitors, Victoria St., Auckland. The number of names sent in has a very important bearing on the amount of the grant which this Society will receive from the Students' Association.

S . V O N S T U R M E R , H o n . S e c .

[37] i!i!!lliilll!!ll!!!lll!ll!!l!illlll!l!l[{!

* *

T H E K I W I • „„„„„„„ *

FIELD CLUB " E X C U R S I O N S were held last year to the fol-

lowing places: Kauri Gully, the Zoological Park , Chelsea Reserve, Waikowhai, Swansea Bio-logical Reserve, Narrow Neck, Rangitoto. The excursions were for the most part poorly attended, yet those who went fond them interesting and en-joyable. The Club is specially endebted to Mr. Griffin for his conduction of a party around the Zoological Park . The session closed with a week's camp at Bethel's, T e Henga. This proved a most enjoyable and profitable vacation for those who went.

During the year the executive organised a photo-graphic exhibition which was held in the Students' Association room in the eld University. Consider-able interest was shown in the exhibits. Owing to the indefinite nature of the rules and regulations governing the exhibition it was decided not to make it competitive as was at first suggested. On account of the standard of the photographs many express ed the hope that a competitive exhibition would be held in 1926.

W . E . L A R O C H E , H o n . S e c .

MUSICAL SOCIETY H P H E Musical Society had a very prosperous

season in 1925. The attendance was larger than in previous years and all members were very enthusiastic, especially in the Glee Club, which was conducted by Mr. Lee. The orchestra was revived and rendered valuable service at College and outside functions, while the Chamber Music section was once more under Professor Sperrin-Johnson. T w o concerts were given, one Musical Society the other Chamber Music alone, both being highly successful.

It is hoped that this year Glee Club will be under the conductorship of Professor Thomas, and an attendance even larger than that of last year is expected.

Concerts will be organised and will be held in the Music Room.

Supper is provided after all Glee Club Meetings. A . G . LAWES, H o n . S e c .

CERCLE FRANCAIS j n p R O M the number of the members attending

the general meeting on March 29th, the activ-ities of the Club bid fair to be more successful this year than last, when there were various diffi-culties to contend against. Not the least of these was the fact that the meetings which, for various reasons had to be held on Mondays, clashed with those of the Scientific Society and of the Auckland French Club. The committee hopes now to over-come these difficulties.

The programme for this year will be more literary than before. Readings from light and amusing plays or novels will figure largely.

It is hoped that this year more first year students will join. The Club is not solely for the older students, and the ycunger members will find the reunions helpful, as well as amusing.

j . B . SHORT, H o n . S e c .

A X T E D 1 M M E D I A T E L Y a Gown. Apply, stating- particulars and price

to Miss N. CLARKE, A.U.C.

There once was a student called Ernie. When he tired of trying to learn he

Went to Mount Albert Where he found not a gal but

Forty small boys who feared Ernie.

[38] lil!!!:i;![i!!ill!lllll!!l!l!l!lllllliill|l!llllll!l!l!l!l!lll!ll!!il

"!!i:;t!liillll]ll!!!l!i!!i;!!ll>llllll!llli!ll!lllll T H E K I W I

*„„, (Ill *

De Mortu is Report of proceedings at a Meeting of the Professorial Board

of the Auckland University College, July, 19—.

r p H E Professorial Board to-day considered the case of a student named Abraham Adams, who

had been reported by Professor Gasbag for bad behaviour. Adams had shown a chronic disin-clination for work, and had frequently been the cause of disorder in class. Although repeatedly requested not to do so, he had insisted upon bring-ing into the lecture room his dog, a large and dangerous animal. This extraordinary habit was not rendered less objectionable by the fact that he frequently fed it with large pieces of steak during the course of the lecture. Professor Gasbag com-plained also of a tendency on the part of Adams to argue with him in class. Besides interrupting the lecture to the inconvenience of the Professor, this practice prevented the rest of the students from enjoying the Professor's discourse as they would have otherwise. Adam's remarks, he said, showed no desire of knowledge, being to the last degree flippant and inconsequential.

Adam's other offences in class included playing cards, chewing gum, smoking, and paying unwel-come attention to certain of the lady students. He also played the mouth organ occasionally, once ruining a lecture on "The Inner Spirituality of Rabelais," by rendering a tune which the Pro-fessor had been unable to recognise, but which he had been told afterwards was known as "Does Spearmint Lose its Flavour on the Bedpost Over-night? "

The Professorial Board took a grave view of the case, but decided to give Adams the last chance. He was reprimanded severely and told that a re-currence of his behaviour would mean his rusti-cation.

In Memoriam Extract from the "Kiwi" some months later :

O B I T U A R Y .

"It is with feelings of the deepest sorrow that we record the passing away of Abraham Adams, one of the most gifted and popular students in the College. The deceased was well known to all conected with the Auckland University, and dur-ing his ail-too brief stay in our midst he endeared himself in every heart. H e took a deep interest in the social life of the college, and was respon-sible for the foundation of several clubs and societ-ies. The Ping Pong Club owes its existence to-day to Abraham Adams, who, at the- time when it was on the point of lapsing in obscurity on account of having lost the club ball, came forward with the generous offer of a new ball and set the institution on its feet again. He was as popular with the Professorial Staff as with his fellow students. Pro-fessor Gasbag relates that Adams's nature was one of the most lovable he h^id ever come across He was passionately fond of animals, being devoted to a large and gentle dog which followed him everywhere, 'even,' Professor Gasbag remarked laughingly, yet not without a tear in his eye, 'even into the lecture room, to my no small amusement.' He had always shown great interest in his studies, some of his questions during the course of the lectures indicating a high degree of intellectual development.

"Through the death of Abraham Adams, the College has suffered a loss which it could ill afford, and we must join one and all in a message of sincerest sympathy with the sorrowing parents of the deceased."

Very Early in the Morning The goosegirl woke, and arms outftung Gazed widely into the sky-Her bright hair hung Heavily. The geese began to cry And she went lightly forth.

Very early in the morning . . . My lady tossed amongst her laces Her ringed eyes blinked to meet the light,

They held unhappy traces Of unforgotten yesternight She shivered in her pillows . . .

Very early in the morning . . . Wrapped around in brooding peace Just the goosegirl and her geese. Wrapped around in scented lace The lady with her frightened face . . .

F E L I X A M O R Y .

l i l n i lH i

[39]

i i l i l l l l; T H E K I W I

Bond Street Babblings ¥ 1 7 1 T H the approach of autumn, a word in the

ear of the jeun homme on the all-absorb-ing topic of dress in likely to prove seasonable. For the fresher entering Varsity, what could be more chic than the simple little costume in cerise jap silk, shown in the accompanying sketch. To complete the ensemble the chapeau (obtainable from Messrs. Chill & Mice in a large range of colours including amythest, emerald, flame and

pie little robe of sack cloth will never fail to be comme il faut. Manuscript, either rolled or un-

buttercup) is de rigeur. Spats are optional, but when worn must match hat and gloves. The monocle when not in use should be slung across the left shoulder, or carried nonchalantly between the teeth.

A rainy day demands something smart but ser-viceable. Riding breeches in light weight, crepe de chene waterproof sheeting will prove not only serviceable but also very chic, especially when accompanied by a sou'-wester in the new crushed tomato shade, at present so popular among blondes. This makes almost unnecessary the presence of the umbrella, which, however, the really smart boy often carries as a finish to his costume.

For more formal occasions : Upon receiving an invitation to visit a member of

the Professorial Board the student immediately questions himself, "What shall I wear?" A sim-

rolled, should be carried in the left hand, keeping the right free to strew ashes. The waist line must be low, and well-defined by the rope girdle. The

[40]

THE KIWI *,„„„„„ „,„„

hair is ususally worn combed carelessly forward and bedecked with a few ashes. Rouge must upon this occasion be applied with discretion. It will be found necessary to preserve throughout the interview an attitude of humble and silent re-spect, although it is permissible to emit an occasional groan betokening intellectual interest.

For a C. U . meeting what could be more charm-ing than the idea given below, as seen at Ellerslie? In this little sleeveless garment of white butter-muslin, simplicity is the key-note. The straight and narrow lines have a slenderising effect peculiarly

becoming to those no longer in their first youth, while the narrow edging of val. lace gives just that touch of lightness necessary to the robe, with-out, however, detracting from its purity of outline.

For a meeting of the Free Discussion Club, this ravishing ensemble suit in smoke grey asbestos is absolutely au fait. The flame coloured satin of tie and lining is an attractive contrast to the deli-cate sulphur yellow of the pantalon. An espec-ially smarf note is struck by this nifty little trifur-cated cane, which should be grasped firmly in the right hand. For the wearer of this costume a haunting perfume, pungently reminiscent of Roto-rua, is continually on draught and may be obtain-ed from the secretary at a nominal price per gallon.

The idea depicted in our sketch, when carried out in orange sateen and pink mosquito-net, created

quite a stir the other evening at Freshers' Welcome. Slippers and earings are deep mauve to match the bow so discreetly hidden in the frills of the decol-

lete shirt, to whose dashing air the fan (which, it is whispered, will be extremely popular this season) affords a pleasant note of contrast. For the boy-ish silhouette, which still remains the rage, this costume is particularly suitable.

J. B. S.

Will

[41 ]

Jiiill!!l::!i!:iiill!iliil!l!llllilll!il!iffl T H E

* ,„„„„„„„,„„„„„„

WOMEN'S HOCKEY A S the story of the 1925 Season has already

been told it is pleasant to forget its tragedy of defeat and near victory in the anticipation of a more successful winter. Last year the Junior team especially suffered from inexperience and both teams were seriously handicapped by lack of prac-tice. Hard knocks and a season's play, however, have transformed much raw material into eager and promising players.

Three members of the Senior team played among the Auckland Representatives during Country Week, but were prevented by examination work from travelling with them to Rotorua.

Prospects for the coming Season are very bright. Several good players will be competing for the vacancies of the Senior team, while the number of beginners attests the growing popularity of the game. As in former years there are optimists who talk of weekly practices, but these will only be possible when the College grounds are ready for use.

Early next term the Club proposes to hold an entertainment in the College Hall. This should be of widespread interest, first, because it will be free, and, second, because it will afford a unique opportunity of seeing several of Auckland's fore-most citizens behind the footlights.

Come and see the "Kiwi" Editor in a red shirt. Come and see Mr. Brown as the comic hero. Come and see Ernie as a policeman.

N.B. As the primary object of the entertain-ment is to raise funds, there will be what is known in religious circles as a retiring collection.

HOCKEY CLUB r p H E latter part of the 1925 season was not

characterised by any specially brilliant efforts by the College teams. The Senior Eleven did very well in the Devonport Shield competitoin, and was in the lead until the last day. On that Saturday, however, the team was disorganised owing to the vacation, and was defeated in the last two matches.

The Club suffered a serious loss through the de-parture for Hawera of the captain, P . O. Veale,

K I W I |!!l!i!l!lllllilill!l!l!!l!llllll!l!!y *

who had been a prominent member of the club for several years. D. H . Hume was elected in his place, but he has also left Auckland, and conse-quently is not available this year.

The present indications are that a successful season will be experienced this winter. A good muster attended the Annual Meeting, and 18 new members were elected. The following are the officers for the season:—

Patron, the Hon. George Fowlds; President, Professor J. P . Grossmann; Club Captain, E. A . Burton; Hon. Secretary M. A. Brook; Hon. Treasurer, J. E. Carr ; Executive Committee,

D. H . Steen, N. A . Leonard, S. F. Meiklejohn, L. O. M. Brown, A. B. Thompson, J. S. Burt and | C. B. Radcliffe; Selection Committee, Messrs Burt, Leonard and the captain; Delegates to the Hockey Association, T . H . Hamilton and C. B. Radcliffe; Hon. Auditor, G. G. Seelen.

The departure from Auckland of Veale, Hume, Scherer and L. H. Thomson leaves serious gaps in the Senior Team. However, there is fortu-nately a good supply of promising talent avail-able, and it is hoped that the Senior Team this year will be worthy of the College. Probably four teams will be playing in the Association's competitions.

A definite attempt is to be made this year to put Inter-University Matches on a more satisfactory ba sis. A proposal has been made to hold a tourna-ment at Wellington between teams from the four Colleges, and1 this matter was discussed at Dunedin during the Easter tournament. Finality has not yet been reached on this important subject.

FOOTBALL NOTES T H E 1925 season opened for the club with very

bright prospects, and a considerably increased roll of members augured well for the prospective achievements of the Club for the then commencing season.

Much keenness was displayed at the prelimin-ary practices and the attendances were good. Fin-ally five teams were entered in the A.R.U. Com-petitions, namely, one senior, two second grade, and two third grade teams. The Senior Team, according to a custom which is slowly developing into a University tradition, passed stage by stage from the position of being the only team capable of extending Ponsonby in the opening round to that of being the only team the B Grade teams felt confident of beating towards its close.

The Second Grade A Team have comparatively a better record for the season than the Senior

liiiiiiiiiiiiH [42]

] T H E * „„„„„„„„„

Team. They finished the competition second in their section of the grade and were responsible for con-sistent and good displays of football.

The Second B Team battled along through the season and, thanks largely to their captain, held their own in their section without becoming prom-inent in the championship.

Both Third Grade Teams were responsible for fair displays throughout the season, but a lack of leadership spelt disaster for the B Team before the close.

During the season the Senior Team travelled to Whangarei and to Wellington. Although de-feated on both occasions, the trips were thoroughly enjoyed and the team will welcome a repetition of the games as an annual fixture.

Several members of the Senior Team gained N.Z. University and Auckland representative hon-ours, while the junior teams were represented in the Auckland Second and Third Grade Reps.

The coming season marks an important epoch in the history of the Club. The old order is changing, and with numerous facilities and ad-vantages now available, which were not so in the past, the Club should progress rapidly. This should be the premier club of the city and the lcyal co-operation of its members is the only factor that is needed to make it so.

A.U.C. BASKETBALL CLUB T O U R I N G 1925 basketball practices were held

once a week on the Training College courts when the weather was fine and in the Drill Hall when it was wet. The practices were well attended, there usually being sufficient members present to form two full teams. Such keen interest was shown that a challenge was issued to the Training College Second Grade A and B teams, and the two match-es were played in the Drill Hall. Both the Train-ing College Teams were successful, but the 'Var-sity A Team gave a good exhibition of the game and ran the Training College score very close. Mr. Cousins kindly consented to act as referee.

Early this year the club received an invitation from the Otago University Basketball Club to send a Team to Tournament at Easter. The committee decided that with a tremendous effort it might be possible to raise sufficient funds to assist the members of the team in their travelling expen-ses, and the invitation was accepted.

The annual general meeting of the Club will be held towards the end of the first term, and it

K I W I li::!: : .. :: >h „*= §j

is hoped that practices will commence this year M at the beginning of the second term.

M . F . C . A D A M S , H o n . S e c . g

ATHLETIC CLUB

fT^HE establishment of the Consolidated Fee will prcve an inestimable boon to the Athletic

Club, which for many reasons has suffered from lack of funds to enable it to carry on successfully. The primary object of the Athletic Club is to conduct the annual Inter-Faculty Sports and to prepare and select a team for Tournament, but there are many other ways in which the Club could benefit the athletes of the College would funds permit. During the past few seasons the income derived from entry fees and sale of pro-grammes has not been nearly sufficient to defray the expenses incidental to the holding of the Inter-Faculty Sports, and those athletes who were keen encugh to train properly have themselves had to engage a trainer at their own expense. The Club should be adequately represented each year at the Auckland Provincial Championships, but here again lack of funds prevents some of the best athletes in the Club from training properly for this important meeting.

Under thg new conditions brought about by the establishment of the Consolidated fund it is hoped that the Club will be successful in obtaining a grant sufficient to enable it to engage a trainer for a period of at least two months before Tourna-ment.

Though a few of the Club's outstanding athletes will not be available for the next Tournament, to be held in Auckland, the last Inter-Faculty Sports discovered several promising young athletes who should have proper training helps to reestablish the prestige of the Auckland College at Tournament. In Matheson, Minns, Carter, Cochran, Riddolls, Tizard, Dexter and N. Williams the Club possesses several young athletes who with proper training should be able to compete successfully against the best athletes of the other Colleges, and in this respect Auckland's prospects for the future would seem to be particularly bright. The Southern Colleges are losing and have lost many of their most brilliant performers, and there do not seem to be any rising stars to take the places in the Southern teams of Morgan, Lowe and Leadbetter to name only a few of the most brilliant athletes who have represented Otago, Canterbury and

[43]

THE KIWI

Victoria during the past few years. T o sum the matter up, Auckland appears to be by far the richest in young material.

It is sincerely trusted that funds will soon be available with which to foster and develop this material to Auckland's best advantage.

FORMATION OF TENNIS CLUB On Monday evening, March 29th, a meeting of

the tennis players of the College was convened to discuss the formation of a College Tennis Club.

On behalf of the Students' Association, Mr. J . C. Andrews explained that four chip courts and one grass court would be available for play next sea-son, and that membership would be covered by the consolidated subscription of 15/- . The meeting decided that a club should be formed and the following committee was elected to control the lay-ing out of the courts and to formulate rules and regulations: President, Prof . J . P . Grossmann; Student Chairman, R. B. H a r d y ; Secretary and Treasurer, A . S. Millar; Members of Committee: M e n — A . J. Millar, J . C. Andrews, E . F. Thomp-son ; Women—Miss E . Bowell, Miss E. E . Miller.

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[44]

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* *

In ter -Univers i ty Tournament A L T H O U G H it was the turn of Auckland to

hold Tournament "at home" this year, it was agreed at Christchurch last year to give Dun-edin the 1926 Tournament, while the Exhibition was being held, and to postpone Auckland's turn till next year. Consequently for the second year in succession A.U.C. has had to send a team to the South Island, and this Easter the ill-fortune that usually attends our ventures when we send a team across Cook Strait was visited upon us doubly.

The performance of the team as a whole was quite the worst that any College team has put up for some years. Our "crash" was due to several causes, the chief of which were (1) the distance the team had to travel, (2) cold weather, (3) lack of proper training, and (4) (of course) bad luck. All the above causes contributed in some degree to the failure of the Auckland team; while an unsym-pathetic critic might also remark that the superiority of the Southern teams supplies a fifth and most weighty reason for our defeat.

In the first place no team can do itself full justice after travelling practically continuously for forty-eight hours. The team left by the Main Trunk Express at 7.40 on Tuesday evening feeling full of bounce, but after two nights and days of travelling (mostly in the rain) there was very little bounce left when the train crawled into Dunedin Station. Most of us were glad to get to our billets and have a bath, and spend a quiet evening before going to bed early. Good Friday, though fairly pleasant in the early morning, soon developed into a very cold, wet day; and we Northerners were only too pleased to keep indoors in the attempt to keep warm. Running was very unpleasant, and tennis was an impossibility owing to the wet. Con-sequently it will be seen that the tennis team had to play on Saturday morning with no practice since leaving Auckland, and the Athletic team did not get a proper run till Saturday.

Turning from the first two disadvantages from which we suffered—distance to travel and cold weather—we come to the third: lack of training. A good part of the team were offenders in this re-spect. In the criticism of the tennis team, published in this number, it is pointed out that the team had not played together nearly enough. It is in this way that perhaps the tennis team most frequently fails to "train." Another point to be noticed is that there are always a number of members of the Tournament Team who will not go to bed early.

A.U.C. representatives are far too prone to treat the trip as a holiday pure and simple, and some do not appear to realise that if it is worth the while of A.U.C. to send them South to represent her, it is no less than their duty to try to keep as fit as possible, at least until their own particular "stunt." ccmes off. In the writer's opinion its Delegates, or the team captains, ought to receive definite instructions to look after this aspect; and if a team member fails to train in the strictest sense of the term, he should be dropped next year. No English University captain would tolerate slack-ness in training for a moment, and A.U.C. will never make a success of her Tournament ventures while tournament representatives look on their trip purely in the light of a holiday.

Nevertheless, while some of the team can blame the weather and the distance for their own indiv-idual failure to produce form, and some have themselves to blame, some too can ascribe their failure to register points purely to bad luck. Joe Gardener and "Tex" Rickard in the boxing were each the victims of decisions which somewhat sur-prised the audience, and W . R. L. Vallance in the athletic team had the worst possible luck, in straining the muscles of his knee, after he arrived in Dunedin. Vallance should have been sure of winning all the three "distance" events, and he must have been terribly disappointed at being un-able to produce form. The Auckland team nearly wept.

From a "holiday" point of view the Tournament was an excellent one. Otago entertained us right royally and the Dunedin people (as usual) over-whelmed us with their hospitality. The ball, though it had unfortunately to be held in a small hall, was a great success, and the good feeling of the Otago students could perhaps best be illustrated by the fact that a number came down to the 8.40 a.m. train to see us off, though many had not got to bed till 3.30 or later that same morning. W e had a good trip home, and the team (except for those who "fell out by the way" contrary to the Scripture) arrived in Auckland early on Friday morning feeling that their holiday had been well spent.

On the trip down the team was accompanied by the four English Debaters now touring New Zealand. These gentlemen went with us all the way to Dunedin, where they took part in the whole Tournament with the greatest interest.

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| T H E *,„ ,„„„„„

W e take this opportunity of congratulating the shooting team on again winning the Haslam Shield. A brief report of each of the separate Tourna-ment Activities is given below.

DEBATE Thd debate was held in the Allen Hall, Otago

University, in the evening of Easter Monday. The Athletic Meeting had just concluded, and so it was natural to expect that a certain amount of boisterous interruption would make itself evident. The conduct of the audience was no better and no worse than it has been found to be on other similar occasions during the last few years.

The subject to be debated was "That Racial Equality within the British Empire is a Desirable End." The Mayor, Mr. H . L. Tapley, was in the chair, and without being ostentatiously firm, nevertheless kept the meeting in some sort of order —a task a good bit more difficult than it sounds. Victoria met Otago in the first debate, which was not remarkable for any brilliant speaking, nor for interjections of any exceptional merit.

The second debate, Canterbury v. Auckland, was a much better one from the point of view of public speaking. Possibly the speakers enjoyed some small advantage in that a few of the more boisterous revellers in the back of the hall had left after the first debate to search for pastures new. There were sufficient interrupters left, however, to appal any but the stoutest hearts, and Mr. N. G. Leonard can be congratulated upon making the best speech of the evening. His good humoured pleasant style stands him in good stead in circum-stances where the most perfectly constructed sen-tences and the most carefully-considered logic will fail, unless the speaker has the personality to com-mand at least the partial attention of his audience.

The Canterbury team made two good speeches and worked together well. They could not have won by a very substantial margin, and Auckland can be considered a trifle unlucky not to have won the debating scroll.

BOXING 117E, arrived in Dunedin on Thursday and had

a short work-out on Friday afternoon at Les Murray's gym. by kind permission of the pro-prietor. The preliminaries fought on Saturday morning failed to supply us with a winner.

Bantamweight : W . McAlevey (O .U. ) 8st. 41b. won fairly easily from A. F. McGregor (C.U.C.) 8st. 61b. V . E. Richard (A .U.C . ) 8st. 21b., a bye in this section.

K I W I jiiuiiiieiB *

Featherweight : D. N. Fergusson (O.U. ) 9st. beat V. C. Rickard (A.U.C. ) 8st. 21b. after a j strenuous contest, in which Rickard was accident-ally bumped by his opponent's head in the first and third rounds and. suffered two cuts on the left eye, which considerably hampered him. R. R. Chester (C.U.C.) 8st. 131b. disclosed a very solid punch and knocked out J. Hunn (V.U.C.) 8st. 101b. in the second round.

Lightweight : L. C. Cotter (O.U. ) 9st. 121b. had little difficulty in winning from V.U.C., 9st. 61b. who drd a good deal of the leading but could not penetrate his opponent's guard. F . Davis (C.U.C.) 9st. 101b. beat G. L. King (A.U.C. ) 9st. 61b. after four interesting rounds, in which King fought well but was nonplussed by Davis's rapid left and quick footwork.

Welterweight : F. Desmond (V.U.C.) lOst. 61b. I beat M. Eales (A.U.C. ) lOst. 71b. in a very even bout. Desmond, who represented New Zealand in 1923, was a more experienced boxer but Eales gave him a great run for the honours, and if Eales had had a little more condition the result might have been different. F. W . Petre (C.U.C.) lOst. 1 81b. beat H . Thwigg (O .U. ) lOst. 71b. in a good | exhibition. Thwigg led in the early part, but M Petre's strong left won him the fight in the last g two rounds. g

Middleweight : A bad accident marred the first §§ middleweight contest and brought it to an abrupt g and unfortunate finish. A . R. Smith (C.U.C.) g l ist . 31b., matched with L. Gunn (A.U.C.) list. , § accidentally bumped his opponent's nose and dam-aged the cartilage in the first round. Gunn fought on gamely but in the second round Smith's head again came into collision with Gunn's injured nose. The fight was stopped and the decision given to Smith whose obstruction, though twice repeated, was evidentally quite accidental. G. J. Sceats V .U.C. ) lOst. 121b. won from J. S. Batchelor | (O .U . ) lOst. 131b. Batchelor was down for three in the second round, and though groggy when he rose, he recovered well in the final rounds. Sceats continued to connect with right crosses to the head and won.

Heavyweight : J. J. C. Gardner (A.U.C.) J although giving away over a stone in weight to g T . S. Morris (O .U. ) 12st. 81b. put up a great 1 fight and was only beaten by the smallest margin. g His hitting was cleaner and his style better than M that of the Otago man but the difference in weight 3 proved too much for him. J. T . Burrows (C.U.C.) g l ist . 131b. beat J. Platts-Mills (V.U.C.) 12st. 61b. § Mills was knocked through the ropes once and n Burrows was down twice, but Mill's lack of con- = dition told and Burrows won comfortably.

[46]

iiiii!;i!!!!i!!:;iii;iiiiiii T H E K I W I *,m

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F I N A L S .

Bantamweight : W . McAlevey (O .U. ) 8st. 41b. won from V. C. Rickard (A.U.C. ) 8st. 21b. Rickard was handicapped through a cut over the eye, which he had received in the morning, getting opened again. Rickard used a straight left with effect and had the better of what little infighting the referee permitted. Both were tired in the last round, and had Rickard had sufficient strength he could have won with a knock-out. The decision in favour of McAlevey caused some surprise as Rickard was awarded the medal given by Mr. H. L. Tapley to the most scientific boxer in the tournament.

Featherweight : D. N. Ferguson (O.U. ) 9st. R. R. Chester (C.U.C.) 8st. 131b. in a solid bout in which there was plenty of hard fighting. Ferguson was stronger and forced the fight.

Lightweight : F. Davis (C.U.C.) 9st. 101b. beat L. C. Cotter (O .U. ) 9st. 121b. Cotter was not up to his usual form and could not size up Davis who scored frequently with the quick lefts, and avoided many of Cotter's punches by smart footwork. In the second round the Otago man was badly har-assed, and, though he recovered well, he could not penetrate the elusive Canterbury man's defence.

Welterweight : F. W . Petre (C.U.C.) lOst. 61b. won this division from F. Desmond (V.U.C. ) lOst. 61b. by a narrow margin. Desmond won the first round but after that Petre scored well with a straight left and won a very even bout.

Middleweight : The final in which G. J. Sceats (V.U.C.) lOst. 121b. beat A. R. Smith (C.U.C.) list . 31b. was a rather disappointing exhibition. Both men wrestled and pulled each other around the ring, but there were not a dozen clean blows struck throughout the bout. Sceats connected sever-al times with a right cross and just at the end knocked Smith to the ropes where the gong saved him.

Heavyweight : The last fight of the evening in which J. F. Burrows (C.V.C.) l ist . 131b. defeated T . S. Morris (O .U. ) 12 st. 81b., was a very good contest. In the first round Morris was put down for nine by a beautiful right to the jaw followed by a swing to the body. Morris was very groggy when he rose but the gong brought relief. Burrows won the second round with several well-timed rights. In the third Morris recovered well and forced the fight. Burrows proved superior in ring-craft and won the last round and the bout.

Canterbury thus won three weights and so se-cured the Boxing Shield.

TENNIS By "Fluke"

^ L T H O U G H conditions militated against decent tennis at Otago this Easter, neverthe-

less, the Tournament was responsible for some really excellent tennis, some of the matches being well up to the Provincial Championship standard. I sympathised with the players the first day when on arriving at the courts I saw that the nets were not provided with centre-belts, nor were side-sticks provided. It is an unheard of thing to play cham-pionship matches under such conditions; but no belts could be obtained, and so the players had to play without them. It is very difficult to play accurate tennis with the net swinging in the wind, and it is to be hoped that in Future Inter-Varsity Matches will not be played under this handicap.

The Otago Club's courts, where the finals were played, had an excellent surface, but there was only a few feet of "back-run" behind the base line. It is a pity that Inter-Varsity matches have to be played on courts which render anything like decent recoveries from behind the base-line quite impossible.

In spite of these handicaps, however, good tennis was produced in nearly every match. The Canter-bury team in general, and Miss Elsie Partridge in particular, were the "stars" of the tournament. I have never seen Miss Partridge play so well. Vol-leying beautifully, in a style reminiscent of Ivan Seay, she went to the net whenever it was possible to leave the base line. In the singles final against Miss Miller (A.U.C. ) Miss Partridge anticipated wonderfully at the net, moving over time after time to intercept Miss Miller's rather high drive, and her angle-volleys were sure winners every time. Miss Miller fought very pluckily, as she always does; but she would indeed have surpassed herself to beat Miss Partridge when she had struck form. The Canterbury lady gave an exhibition of volley-ing which should have been, and was, a lesson to every girl at the Tournament. In the doubles, Miss Partidge set our girls an excellent example in standing inside the base-line to receive a service, and hitting a flat drive across the cpurt from the top of the bounce. In doubles everything depends on the safe return of the service, and Miss Par -tridge by her excellent position on the court was able to make an opening for her partner every time the service came to her.

Among the men Robinson desires great credit for his second win in succession. In the first round he was far too good for Turner (A.U.C. ) who could not get going against the Canterbury man.

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[ 4 7 ]

THE KIWI *,„ „,„„„„„„

Robinson's powerful forehand drive non-plussed Turner at the net, and the Aucklander could not drive accurately or deeply enough to force Robin-son to play defensively. Against Ferkins in the final Robinson was quite convincing. Ferkins, who volleys very well, was unable to anticipate quickly enough at the net, and Robinson's particularly solid forehand passed him time after time.

Hubble was unlucky not to take at least a set for Ferkins. I thought he was going to beat the Wellington man when the score was four all in the first set. Hubble was unable to play quite accurately enough at the critical moment; but had he struck an accurate patch at the end of the first set, in my opinion he would have overwhelmed Ferkins in the second.

The men's doubles provided a number of inter-esting contests. The first day Hubble and Turner beat Burns and O'Brien (Victoria), while Fulton and Watson (O .U. ) and Chisholm and Mercer ( O . U . ) also had wins. The first Canterbury pair had a bye. Hubble and Turner, though Auck-landers thought they had a fair chance of winning the doubles, gave a disappointing display on Tuesday when they were severely beaten by Fulton and Watson. Hubble and Turner failed to get going, and were missing all their shots by inches. The final provided a truly excellent display of the doubles game, Rcbinson and Loughman (C.U.C.) obtaining a well-earned victory after a great game.

In the combined doubles C.U.C. scooped in all the honours, both Canterbury pairs being in the fi-nal. The contests of C.U.C. with the two Auckland pairs provided two excellent displays of combined tennis. Miss Miller and Hubble put up a great fight before being beaten by Miss Partridge and Loughman. Hubbie s volleying was excellent, and Miss Miller gave him excellent support. Miss Miller should lob more in a combined double— she has an excellent lob stroke, and the combined double is the place where it should be used. On the adjoining court Miss Souden and Robin-son defeated Miss Mueller and Turner after a great three-set match. Miss Mueller deserves great credit for the excellent display of back-line tennis she put up in this match, particularly in the first set. Her beautiful lobbing gave Turner every chance, and he took full advantage of the openings that his partner made. The Canterbury pair gradually pulled themselves together, and eventu-ally their superior shots won the day after a good fight. Miss Souden's smashing from the net was a feature of the match, and contributed greatly to the win.

„ i *

The Ladies' Doubles provided some interesting contests, the best display being given in the final. The Auckland first pair played very well, though I was surprised that they were at times inclined to adopt the "both back' formation when Auckland was serving. It must be remarked that attack is the best defence in doubles and it is a capital mistake to allow your opponents to assume the net position without a struggle. Misses Miller and Mueller played well together, and were perhaps a little unlucky in having such strong opponents in the final as Misses Partridge and Saunders. The ladies singles was remarkable for the early defeat of Miss Ballantyne, who was eliminated in the second round by Miss Partridge with the loss of only three or four games. Miss Partridge was not seriously troubled except by Miss Miller of Auckland. Miss Miller had had a narrow escape from being beaten in the semi-final by Miss Shep-pard, who took the first set early. Miss Miller's excellent fighting qualities, together with a certain amount of generalship which enabled her to change her game at the beginning of the second set, won her the match. The final with Miss Par-tridge I have discussed above.

Altogether the tennis was a triumph for Canter-bury. Next year we have our chance, as Tourna-ment is in Auckland. I would heartily recommend (I believe it has been mentioned before) that next year the team be chosen at the Auckland Champ-ionships and made to play together at least once a week till Easter. This is the only way to win. Pick the team early and have the doubles' pairs systematically coached—this is the way to success at Tournament.

ATHLETICS

HPHE Athletic Tournament was held at the Cale-donian Grounds Dunedin on Easter Monday

in perfect weather. The track was in gocd order, and some excellent performances were registered. As a result of the events held in the morning, Canterbury College established a lead in points for the Athletic Shield, C. E. Low as was antici-pated having no difficulty in winning the Putting the Shot event, and the Broad Jump. In this latter event Low made an excellent jump of 22 feet, but the best jump of the day was by N. Williams (A.U.C. ) who appeared to clear about 22 feet 6 ins.. Williams, however, over stepped the mark and his jump was not allowed. The other events decided in the morning were the 220 yards Champ-ionship (heats) and the one mile flat. Leadbetter

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ipiiiin T H E 1 *.,„

| (V.U.C.) won his heat in the 220 yards champion-g ship in such convincing manner that his victory jf in the final was assured. The one mile flat was g won by E. B. E. Taylor (C.U.C.) on fairly U good time. Taylor ran an excellently judged race,

and beat the Wellington crack, Priestly, by about 5 yards. Priestly ran himself out along the back

g straight of the last lap and had nothing in reserve U over the last 50 yards. Jordon (O .U . ) was third.

Vallance (A.U.C. ) who had injured his knee M while training, had to retire at the third lap. Had

he been able to continue he should have had an r± excellent chance in this event, as he was running g easily in a good position when his knee gave out. g The afternoon's programme commenced with the

g 220 yards final, which was won fairly easily by E Leadbetter (V.U.C.) as anticipated. The 440 yds. g hurdles resulted1 in a good performance by H. D. E Morgan (O .U. ) with Sceats (V.U.C. ) second.

In this event A.U.C. again had bad luck, as their representative N. Williams fell at the last hurdle

g when running second. The middle distance events M 880 yds. and 440 yds. resulted in a triumph for

Victoria College who in Allen and Smith have M two splendid athletics over these distances. In the M 880 yds. Allan beat Smith by about 1 yard, and = in the 440 yds. the positions were reversed. Victoria M College 6 points in two events.

The 100 yards event was another triumph for 1 M. Leadbetter (V .U.C. ) , this splendid athlete j j winning easily in 10 seconds, equalling the record g time for the distance.

P, Hirtenach (O .U. ) in the mile walk outclassed = the opposition and won easily on record time. ]r The 120 yards hurdles resulted in an easy victory

for H. D. Morgan (O .U. ) , his most serious rival B Kalaugher (V.U.C.) falling at the second hurdle. ~ Kalaugher was very unfortunate as when he fell

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he had a slight advantage over Morgan. His fall j j prejudiced his chances in the high jump, which p resulted in a win for Sceats (V.U.C. )

The three miles flat race resulted in another g victory for Taylor (C.U.C.) who again beat Priestly (V.U.C. ) in very much the same manner in which he had beaten him in the mile race. Douglas (O .U . ) was third. M

The result of the athletic Tournament was most disappointing as far as Auckland was concerned, as not a single point was scored by the Northern College. Auckland's team was recog-nised from the start as being a weak one, but in addition to this the team had more than its due share of bad luck. N. Williams, the youngest member of the team, made an excellent leap in the broad jump but overstepped the mark. This young athlete also fell in the 440 yards hurdles §| when running second. Vallance, who during the past three years has gained the majority of Auck-land's points, was considered to have excellent g chances of winning three events (880 yds., 1 mile M and 3 miles) but a badly strained mrscle put him right out of the running. However, there is this fact to be considered, that Auckland is probably g the strongest College as far as young athletes are concerned. The days of the Southern champions, | | Low, Morgan, Leadbetter and Brownlee are nearly over and there do not seem to be any young athe- g letes coming forward to take their place. The recent Inter-Faculty Sports, however, discovered i{ a wealth of young material that with proper train-ing will in a year or so place Auckland right in the fore. To mention only a few of these young §i athletes whom it is sincerely hoped will shortly J be representing Auckland—Minns, Matheson, j§ Tetley, Dexter, Carter, McLeod, N. Williams, g Cochran, Riddolls. Train, next year, and lose M that wooden spoon ! H

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Experts sent to all parts to renovate and adjust.

Phone Te legrams: "Bar ton McGil l" M 41-295 Auckland 1

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An Invitation

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QUEEN STREET _ AUCKLAND

Pleasurable Shopping n a modern Store, where all departments are linked up

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Such ideals of service are fully realised at M. & C.'s, where everything that is new in personal apparel for all members of the family, as Well as home needs, are as-sembled.

MILNE 8c CHOYCE FOR SERVICE

Q u e e n Street : : A u c k l a n d

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|iil i|]lil l i l l!lii i l l i l !!Mlil!!!!lilM:!!!ll;il!l!l!llli!llll!!lill!llll!!llll!l!lllll!llll^ T H E K I W I

A. U . C . Book Review THE ART OF ELOCUTION AND DE-

PORTMENT — By Dr. F. P . Wordy. The author gives some valuable advice on the

reproduction cf sound and the deportment to be adopted at Government House parties, lectures, meetings, discussions, etc. FASHION : THE SHORT AND THE

LONG OF IT— By "Fairsex." An illuminating and intriguing article dealing

with the rise of modern apparel and the reasons therefore. The author is an enthusiast and shows a far-reaching knowledge of his subject. THE MATRON'S AID — By "Born Again."

The principles and organisation of various in-stitutions are fully dealt with. A clear and con-cise account of the procedure to be adopted with young women with a special reference to the vice of wearing hair down, prevalent among Fresh women, is one of the most pleasing features of this useful little manual. THE DECLINE OF MATHEMATICS

SINCE 1893— By Professor Cigar. A delightful reverie depicting the decline and

fall of trignometrical ratio wilhin the memory of a Second Wrangler. WHAT A YOUNG MAN SHOULD

KNOW — By author of above. A long-looked-for momograph which should be

of great use to students (especially Freshers) in their deportment and social life. The care of public buildings is especially emphasised. LA VIE PARISIENNE — By "D .O .R .A . "

A charming breeze from la France in light fantastic style. The delight of the connoisseur. TECHNIQUE AND CRITERIA AND

THEIR APPLICATIONS — By Pro-fessor S. E. A. Lyon (Edited by R. S.)

Contrary to popular rumour, this excellent little treatise may be claimed as a masterpiece. Written in dialogue form, it invokes a personal and human element which, in any other form, would be im-possible to attain. AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE PROB-

ABLE CAUSE OF THINGS—WITH RESERVATIONS— By On The Rocks.

The author enters into a lengthy description into the why and wherefore of things but in no case does he give an absolute verdict on any point. This is evidentally the result of the author's occu-pation. THE AKARANA TALES (Original uncen-

sored edition) — By P. I. P . Chancer. Easily the "best seller" in the hands of the pub-

lishers as yet. The tales are told in a simple, direct style which enchants the reader. Would form a welcome addition to the Men's Common Room reading table. THE FOREST OF ARDERN (Companion

Volume) — By Professor Corbels. A pleasing portrayal of nature, in which is seen

indications of a profound knowledge of forestry, dancing, etc. Should appeal to the inspiration of many. MATRIMONY — By A . Mack Eyes.

Evidentally the author is an authority on his subject, and the result of his labours well deserve a place among the Foul collection. Indeed this volume is all that is necessary to make the Foul collection unrivalled on this subject. GESTICULATION AND THE CONTROL

OF THE EYEBROWS — By O ' I . Shay, B. Com.

The author has evidentally had great experience on the football field and elsewhere. An interesting chapter is devoted to the Minister of Education. Ejaculation is dealt with in a special chapter added after the opening ceremony. HOW TO RUN A UNIVERSITY : IN

FIVE LESSONS — By above author. A masterpiece. Need more be said !

STATISTICS— By Professor S. Africa and O. Hell. ( A foreword by B. A . ) .

Under the above title many controversial sub-jects are treated with a force and clearness which evokes the readers' admiration, if not his sympathy. As the title suggests, statistics play an important part in the authors' deliberations, but do not tell us, alas; whether it would be more profitable to employ waiters instead of waitresses in the cafeteria. THE ASCENT OF RANGlTO TO—By Prof.

Algae. Once again this well known author has spread

himself on his favourite topic with a vivacity which should enchant the reader. It is indeed hard to believe that a lawyer can be human, but this pleasing account of a great feat proves that the best of maxims have their exceptions. THE TOWER— By Messrs Leap and Cortt.

An allegory depicting the struggles and final triumph of an architect over public and other archi-tects' opinions. A vision of the future, but the time is not yet with us.

• """' '""""" """4. MIUIIIiUillllllllHI. T H E K I W I !!!!l!!lllll!

,„„„ „u*'

Personal No tes of Past S tuden ts Miss A. E . Satchell, B.A., has left to join the

Mission Staff of Melanesia. Dr. W . A . Blomfield, after spending two years

as house surgeon at the West London Hospital, has recently taken a post in the Midland Ear and Throat Hospital at Birmingham.

Miss Nancy Wilson, M.A., is on the staff of the Thames High School.

Miss N. Kalaughcr, M.A., is teaching at the Ashburton High School.

Arthur Gray, M.A. and Gordon Simpson, M.A. have joined the staff of the Nelson College.

Drs. F. R. Leonard and G. Talbot are on the staff of the Auckland Public Hospital.

Miss K. Dunning and Miss Latimer have just joined the staff of the Epsom Girls' Grammar School.

O. G. Cox, B.A., Dip. Journ., is a resident master at Havelock.

Roy Harman has entered the services of the Colonial Sugar Refining Company, Australia, as director of the Research Department. His head-quarters will be at Sydney.

Mr. W . E . La Roche is on the Staff of the In-vercargill Boys' High School.

Miss J. Riach, M.A., is on the staff of the Napier High School.

M. H . Feist has left on a tour of England and the Continent.

Miss A . M. L. Robb, M.A., is teaching at St. Cuthbert's College.

Miss Mora McLean, M.A., is teaching at Suva. Miss Dorothy Mathews, B.A., has joined the

staff of the school at Rarotonga. Miss Virginia Dobie has left on a long visit

to Tunis. Miss Winifred Braithwaite, B.A., is leaving

shortly to continue her studies at Birmingham University.

Mrs. E. Smith, (nee Egerton) is at present in New Zealand on a visit to her relatives.

Miss Jeannette Hall is training in the Auckland Public Hospital.

Rev. F. P . de Laval Willis has returned from England to undertake the duty of chaplain at King's College, Middlemore.

Miss D. Picken, M.A., Miss. F. Patterson, M.A., and Miss MacDonald, M.A., have left for a year's tour of England and the Continent.

DEATH Eric Brownlee.

ENGAGEMENTS Miss Una Parkinson to K. Buttle. Miss P . Joske to J. Rose, LL.B. Miss Joan King to W . P . Dimery. Miss R. Inness to Dr. C. Taylor. Miss Sybil Goodridge to A. M. Dibble. Miss Winifred Maskell, M.A., to Dr. Eric Mac-

Donald. Miss A . McLean, B.A., to W . A. Beattie, B.A.,

LL.B. Miss Ngaire Suisted to J. K. S. Hall, LL.B. Miss M. Manning to L. Tompkins. Miss Reeve Sutherland to R. Pollard. Miss Z. MacDougall to A. Oleson. Miss Kitty Johnson to A . B. Thompson, M.A.

MARRIAGES T. Thomson, LL.B., to Miss M. Gawith. C. Goodair to Miss I. M. A. McDonald, B.Sc. H . Crompton, LL.B., to Miss M. L .tt. T . G. Knox to Miss Annette Milne, B.A. L. J. Bloomfield to Miss Eileen Braithwaite. D. E. Harkness, B.E., to Miss L. M. Koster. O. E. Burton, M.A., to Miss H. Tizard. W . T . G. Airey, M.A., to Miss Isobel Chad-

wick, B.A. Dr. L. Averill to Dr. Isobel Robertson. Dr. M. G. Pezaro to Miss D. Paykel. D. C. Purdie to Miss A. Aubin. S. H . Ellis, LL.B., to Miss N. Joske. R. E. Fawcett to Miss I. Smith. H . W . Wedding, M.A., to Miss Zinna Melva

Edith Moore. BIRTHS

To Professor and Mrs. Anderson, a daughter. To Professor and Mrs. Burbidge, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. W . F. Short, a son. To Mr. and Mrs. G. de Montalk, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. C. E. Laws, twin daughters. To Mr. and Mrs. R. Alford, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. Patterson, a son. To Mr. and Mrs. Bryce Hart, a son. To Rev. Walter and Mrs. Averill, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. E. H. Driver, a daughter To Rev. L. H. and Mrs. Ker, China, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. P . O. Veale, a son. To Mr. and Mrs. I. Meltzer, a son. To Mr. and Mrs. W . Smeeton, a daughter. To Mr. and Mrs. H . C. Becroft, a son. To Mr. and Mrs. N. R. W . Thomas, a son. To Rev. and Mrs. J. Baird, a daughter.

[52]

Frederick Earl, K.C. Geo. S. Kent, LL.B.

Frank Geo. Massey , LL.B. Er ima H a r v e y Northcrof t ,

Not . Pub.

Andrew H a n n a H u g h H a n n a Samuel Jackson H a n n a

A . S j a n n a

B A R R I S T E R S and SOLIC ITORS

3 S W A N S O N Telephone 40-980

S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D

Telephone 45-498 P.O. Box 114

2 L A . l i n g e r

B A R R I S T E R and SOLICITOR

187 Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D Telephone 42-063 P.O. Box 671

( § r o * n W . S a g i i j

M.A.. LL.B.

BARRISTER and SOLICITOR

Mercantile Chambers CUSTOMS S T R E E T EAST, A U C K L A N D

F. H. Leonard

l E a r l , K e n t , H a s B e g & S f a r t l j r m f t

BARRISTERS and SOLIC ITORS Bank of New Zealand Buildings (1st floor)

S W A N S O N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D /

' X Telephones : P .O.Box 1307 1

Mr. Sellar, 45-073. Mr. Gardiner & Clerks 44-614

C e l l a r $c ( S a r t i t n e r Robert Gardiner Sellar Robert Ivan Gardiner

B A R R I S T E R S and SOLICITORS Royal Insurance Buildings

109 Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D N.Z. Cable & Telegraphic Address : 'Scribo,' Auckland

W.A.E. Leonard, B.A., B.Com.

Mmbyz. i f o m t a r f t $c i ^ o n DAIRY PRODUCE M E R C H A N T S Mercantile Chambers (First Floor)

CUSTOMS S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D , N.Z. Represent ing A. C. R O W S O N Telegrams.

35 Tooley Street, "Leonidas," Auckland. London, S.E.I. England. P h o n e 43-559

Oliver Nicho l son Harry M. Rogerson

George A. Gribbin Oliver E. Nicholson

Ntrijolomt, Ombtrin, Hogerann a n i l N t r ^ l s m t

B A R R I S T E R S and SOLICITORS Imperial Buildings

Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D

P h o n e 41-531

A . M . S e a m a n

F.P.A.N.Z., F.I.A.N.Z.

PUBLIC A C C O U N T A N T

17 S W A N S O N S T R E E T A U C K L A N D

Telephone 45-000 P.O. Box 650

% I . Mrmn SOLICITOR

7 and 8 Royal Insurance Buildings Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D

P.O. Box 130 Te lephones : Office 43-414 Res idence 21-292

<&. p . j F t n l a g

BARRISTER and SOLICITOR 2nd Floor Campbell's Buildings

CORNER V U L C A N L A N E and H IGH ST. Auckland, N.Z.

Frank E. McKenzie , M.A., LL.M.

Edgar L. Bartleet, LL.B.

M t f t n m t l a r t h t t t

BARRISTERS and SOLICITORS

602 & 603 New Zealand Insurance Buildings Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D , N.Z.

P h o n e 44-633 P.O. Box 1170

A. C. A. Sexton, LL.M. J.Wk Manning, LL.B.

&extnn Sc manning BARRISTERS and SOLICITORS

N.Z. Insurance Buildings Q U E E N S T R E E T , A U C K L A N D

Telephone No. 40-107.

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