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SLRC QUARTER 2, MODULE 18
INTRODUCTION GUIDE
Getting What You Really Want In this module we will be learning about how to go deeper into getting what
you or your clients desire.
In our coaching system we don’t go looking for people’s problems, but rather
their desires. We find out what they really want and then how to integrate, heal
and resolve issues inside on the pathway to achieving those desires.
This is a healthy approach to healing and to life. It is healthy and empowering
in the long run as it avoids the trap of focusing on what’s not working, and
focuses instead on desires and high vibration emotions.
This type of healing and coaching is really effective, because it is motivating for
your client to have a higher vision of who they can be and how they can live
their life. And since it takes a long time to transform and to heal, focusing on
achieving desires will give the client a stronger motivation, as the willpower to
address pain is only that strong and will eventually fade.
Desires are also the key to self-realization. They are like pings and impulses from
within, and if you follow them you will, eventually, wake up from the inside.
Desires can of course be hollow and materialistic, but it is actually more
empowering to say yes to them. Eventually, when a person achieves their
desire, they can find out if achieving it is really what they want and need, and so
the journey continues on to self-realization. By achieving your desires, you
figure out who you really are and what you truly came here to do. It brings you
deeper into your essence and truth.
This is an inspiring way to approach self-development, life and what is inside of
you. On the contrary, when people try to talk themselves out of what they
desire, it shuts them down and creates sadness within and cramps aliveness.
I invite you to try this mindset and see if this is a truth that fits for you:
• What happens when you consciously pursue your desires?
• What happens when you make desire a form of directive where you head in
your life?
• What happens when you make pursuing your desires a conscious path of self-
development, inner and outer work, and where does that take you versus
saying that desires are hollow?
• What happens when you talk yourself out of desires?
Desire shows the way, and fuels the journey of self-development, the strength
to look within and ultimately self-realization!
So as a coach, sell them what they want and give them what they need!
Give them a deep, profound and integrated path where they learn to love and
accept themselves, to trust their impulses and sensations, and to come to
deeper and higher truths on their journey!
And as a coach, apart from sharing information with them, you serve them by
giving them accountability and long-term transformation, and by holding a
space for them to do the work.
Below are the three additional pieces in our coaching system to help a client
getting what they need:
Piece 1: Do they believe they can be successful?
If people don’t believe they can be successful they won’t take actions. That’s
why it’s very important to assess your client’s belief system.
You can ask them:
• On a scale from 1-10, 1 being that you couldn’t get this at all and 10 being
absolutely certain that you could, where are you?
If your client is a seven or less, you want to address their ability to be successful
before moving on. In sex, love and relationship coaching this is often about
giving them a new mindset.
For example they will say:
• I don’t believe I can have an orgasm.
• I don’t believe I can have an erection.
• I don’t believe I can date and feel confident at the same time.
This is where you want to work on empowering a client’s understanding. It
means taking them out of their mindset that something is fundamentally
broken or wrong with them into that which makes it possible for them to be
successful.
In the case of the woman who doesn’t experience orgasms, it means giving her
a new empowering narrative that makes her feel she can be successful. For
example, you can educate her that in science right now, the belief is that every
woman is biologically capable of having an orgasm but there is so much that
comes in and blocks the brain’s ability to surrender to the state of orgasm.
Or, for a man that believes he can’t be in a long term relationship and be
happy, but he really desires it, educate him with all your knowledge about how
a relationship can bring you deeper into self-development and how
magnificent the sense of love and connection with someone after can feel after
15 years together.
Your level of information and knowledge on these subjects are really important
because you can use it to educate and inspire your clients to a new mindset.
Another way to help your clients believe in success is to use Positive Psychology,
by Martin Seligman. The core understanding from this theory is to get people to
believe in their success based their previous successes.
Ask them to look at their past behaviour and see how they might have the
components to actually cause them to be successful. You can also help them
focus on something they thought was impossible at first that they later
achieved by taking action steps. Reflect back to them their previous
investments and commitments, and use that to empower them.
Piece 2: Worthiness or deservingness
Usually when it comes to achieving desires, there is something inside that says
that they are not worthy or deserving of it, or not powerful enough, or it’s not a
fit to the identity.
So working on feeling worthy and deserving is very important, and we will go
deeper into this in this week’s lasering tool.
Piece 3: Going over their obstacles
Gabriele Oettingen explains in her book, Rethinking Positive Thinking, that
people get the best possible outcomes when they combine positive thinking
and visualization with an honest assessment of the obstacles that might come
in the way of getting what they want.
People who only focus on the positive might calm their nervous system but not
take action.
People who only focuses on the obstacles, get unmotivated and don’t take
action.
So it is the combination of the two, positive visualization and obstacle
assessment that creates the best results, if a person believes that they could be
successful.
To get your clients to believe they can be successful:
• Use the five senses reality to help them with positive visualisation
• Address the belief of their success in themselves
• Assess the obstacles
This helps with motivation and with creating directive action steps.