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Q: What do you say to an ape who callsyou on the phone?
A: Who-rang-utang?
Q: What did the banana say to theorangutan?
A: Nothing, bananas don't talk!
Q: Why do apes tell such bad stories?
A: Because they have no tales!
Q: How do orangutans make toast?
A: They put it under the gorilla. (Get it? the grill -a)
Q: What did the monkey say to theorangutan that went crazy?
A: You've gone completely ape!
Q: Which monkey was beaten in theBattle of Waterloo?
A: Napoleon Baboonapart!
Q: Where does a 200 pound gorillasleep?
A: Anywhere it likes!
Q: What is an ape's favourite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!
Q: What do you call six green apes?
A: A bunch of gr-apes!
Q: What do you call an ape who likelemon pies?
A: Meringue Utan!
Q: What do you say to an angryorangutan?
A: Nothing, you run!
Q: How do six apes get in a mini van?
A: They open the door and get in!
Q: What sort of key do you need to opena banana?
A: A monk-key!
Q: What is an ape’s favorite toy?
A: A boom-orang!
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q: What is an ape’s favorite band?
A: The Monkeys!
Q: What did the orangutan say to thebanana?
A: Time to split!
Q: When do orangutans fall from thesky?
A: During Ape-ril showers!
Q: What is an ape’s favorite gymnasticstrick?
A: A banana split!
Q: What's an ape's favorite flower?
A: A chim-pansy!
Q: What's brown and yellow, brown andyellow, brown and yellow?
A: An orangutan rolling down a hill witha banana!
Q: What do you call a flying primate?
A: A hot air baboon!
Q: Why don't orangutans take a bath?
A: They prefer Ape-ril showers!
Q: Why don't the chimps in the jungleplay poker any more?
A: There are just too many cheetahs!
Q: What is an orangutan’s favoriteChristmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells!
Q: What do orangutans do when they getmad?
A: They go bananas!
Q: How do orangutans get down thestairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!
Q: Why do orantuns have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!
Q: What do orangutans wear when theyare cooking?
A: Ape-rons!
Q: What happened to the bad orangutanthat went to court?
A: He was 'gibbon' another chance!
Q: How do you catch a squirel monkey?
A: You climb up a tree and act like a nut!
Q: What do you call a monkey with 8legs?
A: A Spider Monkey!
Q: What car do monkeys fear most?
A: A Jaguar!
Q: What should you do if you find anorangutan sitting at your desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!
Q: What's an ape's favourite fruit?
A: Ape-ricots!
Q: What's an orangutan's favorite month?
A: Ape-ril!
Q. What do you call an orangutan at theNorth pole?
A. LOST!
Q. How did the orangutan know he wassick?
A. He had a belly ape!
What do you call a monkey holding abomb?
A babboom!
How do you make a green orangutan?
Cross a blue one with a yellow one!
How do you stop an orangutan fromcharging?
Take away its credit cards!
If you throw a Great Ape into one of theGreat Lakes, what will it become?
Wet!
Q. What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A. A mon-key!
Q. If twenty orangutans run after onebanana, what time is it?
A. Twenty after one!
Q: What do you do with a blueorangutan?
A: Cheer it up!
How do you fix a broken orangutan?
With a monkey wrench.
RIDDLEWhat looks exactly like an orangutan but
isn’t an orangutan?
A picture of one.
RIDDLEAn orangutan and a rabbit were having
an argument. The rabbit made a betsaying he knows a place where hecan sit but the orangutan cannot. Therabbit won the bet. What place couldthe rabbit sit but the orangutan couldnot?
Answer: On his back. The rabbit can siton the orangutan’s back but theorangutan can’t sit on his back.
RIDDLEIf one orangutan can eat one banana in
one minute, how many minuteswould it take 100 orangutans to eat100 bananas?
Answer: One minute.
RIDDLE:You are in a room together with 3 other
primates: a monkey, a chimp, and anorangutan. The monkey knows howto write, the chimp knows how totalk, and the orangutan knows how tosolve math problems. Which primatein the room is the smartest?
Answer: You are! The riddle said You arein the room with the other 3. As thehuman, you are the smartest primatein the room.
